I'll be the old stick.

She/her, 20s, bi, recent Creative Writing MA grad, and German expat living in England.

[taco-bell-rey]

Porn blogs still posting porn until December 17th is the equivalent of the band playing while the Titanic was sinking.

[culturenlifestyle]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[ambris]

oh god

[randomfandomteacher]

Too accurate

[theworld-ender]

When your SFW posts get flagged for no reason smh

[seshirukun]

Tumblr decides to completely shut down on December 17th

As the clock strikes midnight the site goes pitch black

Slowly but surely the screen starts clearing and begins to show the montage of a horse carriage traveling through a forest

“Hey, you’re finally awake“

[pietriarchy]

painting of Martin Luther nailing his 69 theses to the door of the Tumblr offices, 2018, colorized

[tentacledix]

i can’t wait to still be followed by 38493790243 porn bots after december 17th because tumblr has never competently implemented anything before

[xueyangapologist]

honestly when aliens arrive we should start having sex with them as soon as possible. so when they decide to take over a lot of them already have emotional connections/physical offspring and will form a sizeable resistance. not me, i don’t want to, but i know a lot of you would be into that, and i’m telling you it’s okay, you’re actually the last hope for our species.

[lyriumandbiotics]

Mass Effect fans to the rescue

[the-cum-scoundrel]

[allthingsgerman]

https://twitter.com/Moami_/status/1060635732283457536

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

can’t wait for the final boss battle of duolingo when you fight the 50 foot owl armed with nothing but your wits, a sword, and your shaky grasp of verb conjugations

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

oh my god… duel lingo

[worldsentwined]

Die Eule habe hat Hunger

True to form, I actually messed up the verb conjugation when I first put the words on this. XD

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

holy crap

[under-the-arch]

[eldritchgarfield]

[dwergas-deactivated20180817]

Machines of the present: a million buttons, dials and knobs for you to turn at your own leisure… what a treat!

Machines of the future: nothing like that, just a big mess like you wouldn’t believe. it’s total garbage.

[definite-human]

I feel like this was written by a time traveler from the 50s who caught a glimpse of the touchscreen era and immediately returned home fuming

[creekfiend]

I love to be a homeowner. I’m responsible for so many extremely stupid things now

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

#CALL YOUR LANDLORD FUCK ITS ME. IM THE LANDLORD

i was the exact opposite bc I grew up in an old old house that always needed work and when I moved into my first apartment the landlord told me the bathroom still needed caulked and I didnt understand that meant she was sending someone to DO that so I caulked the entire bathroom and when the guy got there he went “did you……..Do This” and I was like “yes, and why, and who are you”

[creekfiend]

This is great he must have been so unnerved

[amusewithaview]

Yesterday I heard a retail worker at my local smoke/leather/lace/head shop describe Steampunk as “what happens when goth kids discover brown” and I just.

She wasn’t wrong.

[bendgineer]

The fan theory that there were so many statues of toph in lok because she just went around erecting them… is true

[thelegendofclarke]

the true Walk of Shame™: carrying all the cups that have accumulated in your bedroom back to the kitchen.

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

One of the reasons I feel so comfortable using Tumblr over other social media is because this site is clearly too incompetent to be evil.

[minervafloofderg-migrating]

The basic business model of a social network is to harvest commercially valuable personal data and sell it, most famously via targeted ads. Anyone visiting my blog can clearly see that I am a queer furry who’s into video games and art. And yet I am only served ads for funeral homes, Bible story DVDs, and the current president’s reelection campaign (in 2018 for some reason)

Needless to say my click through rate has not been very good

[chaos-ensuing]

Me: Runs a blog dedicated to dungeons and dragons and anime Tumblr: You know what, you strike me as a sporty type

[livenudebigfoot]

I’m a social media manager for my day job and Tumblr is literally the only social media platform I can relax on anymore because it’s so incompetent when it comes to exploiting my personal data.

[jumpingjacktrash]

me: i’m a gay house husband who spends hundreds of dollars on yarn and will buy literally anything with bears on it

tumblr: obviously you are a young woman who needs clubwear!

me: well,,,, no

tumblr: game of thrones merchandise!

me: i have literally never used that tag

tumblr: sports car?

me: come on guys, i’m easy mode, you can do it. housewares. yarn. bears. sassy gay rainbow everything.

tumblr: oh! you want naked women!

me:

[curlicuecal]

all I know is tumblr thinks I want baby restraints and …. climbing …. harnesses …?

and whatever that last thing is I don’t even know

it’s labeled “kegel” and I’m afraid to ask