Alice In Wonderland

We are all lost in a never ending maze

[jensmilek]

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I’ve ever been to in all my life

[yourmadimmad]

King of Hearts: Rule 42: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately. Alice: I am not a mile high, and I’m not leaving. Queen of Hearts: Sorry. Rule 42, you know.

[yourmadimmad]

Queen of Hearts: [after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the table cloth] Someone’s head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS!

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: [after eating a mushroom] I’m tired of being only three inches high. [suddenly grows out of control] Alice: Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi!

[yourmadimmad]

[Alice reaches the door to escape from the mob] Doorknob: [tries to open the door] D'oh! I’m - still locked, you know! Alice: [in horror] But the queen! I simply *must* get out! Doorknob: [chuckles] But you *are* outside. Alice: [releases her grip on the Doorknob] What? Doorknob: [opens his mouth] See for yourself. [Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow] Alice: Why - why that’s me! I’m asleep! Queen of Hearts: [shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other characters] Don’t let her get away! Off with her head! Alice: [in terror, through the Doorknob’s mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice! Queen of Hearts: [comes closer with the rest of the mob] Off with her head! Alice: Alice! Please, wake up, Alice! [as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice sleeping by the tree] Alice: [voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice! Alice’s sister: [changes to her sister’s] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson

[yourmadimmad]

Tweedle Dee/Tweedle Dum: [singing together] How do ya do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do ya do and shake hands and state your name and business. [both spoken] Tweedle Dee/Tweedle Dum: That’s manners!

[yourmadimmad]

Mad Hatter: [after “fixing” the White Rabbit’s watch] Two days slow, that’s what it is.

[yourmadimmad]

Alice’s sister: [reading from a history book] “… leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand…” Alice. [camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a chain of daisies] Alice: Hmm? Oh, I’m listening. Alice’s sister: “And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William’s conduct at first was moderate.” [Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her sister’s face

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: [drinks from bottle] Mmm… tastes like cherry tart. [shrinks down] Alice: Custard. [shrinks down] Alice: Pineapple. [shrinks down] Alice: Roast turkey. [now at minimum size] Alice: Goodness! What did I do? Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle! Alice: But look, I’m just the right size! Doorknob: Oh - no use. [laughs] Doorknob: I forgot to tell you. [laughs] Doorknob: I’m locked! [laughs] Alice: Oh, no! Doorknob: But of course, you’ve got the key, so… Alice: What key? Doorknob: Now, don’t tell me you’ve left it up there!

[yourmadimmad]

[last lines] Alice’s sister: Alice… Alice… will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson? Alice: [waking up after escaping the mob] Hm? Oh. Oh, uh, how doth the little crocodile improve each shining tail and pour the waters of the… Alice’s sister: Alice, what *are* you talking about? Alice: Oh. I’m sorry, but you see, the Caterpillar said… Alice’s sister: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sakes. Alice, I… Oh, well. Come along, it’s time for tea.

[yourmadimmad]

The Rose: Just what species or, shall we say, genus are you, my dear? Alice: Well, I guess you would call me… genus, humanus… Alice. Daisy: Ever see an alice with a blossom like that? Orchid: Come to think of it, did you ever see an alice? Daisy: Yes, and did you notice her petals? What a peculiar color. Orchid: [sniffing Alice’s hair] And no fragrance. Daisy: [chuckling, as she lifts up one side of Alice’s dress] And just look at those stems. The Rose: [as Alice slaps the Daisy’s leaves away] Rather scrawny, I’d say. Bud: I think she’s pretty. The Rose: Quiet, bud

[yourmadimmad]

Daisy: What kind of a garden do you come from? Alice: Oh, I don’t come from any garden. Daisy: Do you suppose she’s a wildflower?

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: [singing] Painting the roses red… Card Painter/Card Painter/Card Painter: [singing] We’re painting the roses red. Don’t tell the Queen what you have seen or say that’s what we said, but we’re painting the roses red. Alice: Yes, painting the roses red. Card Painter: Not pink! Card Painter: Not green! Alice: Not aquamarine! Card Painter/Card Painter/Card Painter: We’re painting the roses red!

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: Oh dear, everything is *so* confusing. Caterpillar: It is not. Alice: Well, it is to me. Caterpillar: Why? Alice: Well, I can’t remember things like I used to, and… Caterpillar: Recite.

[yourmadimmad]

Caterpillar: Who… are… you? Alice: I- I hardly know, sir. I’ve changed so many times since this morning, you see… Caterpillar: No, I do not ‘C.’ Explain yourself. Alice: I’m afraid I can’t explain myself sir, because I’m not myself, you know. Caterpillar: I do not know. Alice: Well, I can’t put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn’t clear to me. Caterpillar: You? Who ARE you?

[yourmadimmad]

Alice: Better look first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked “Poison”, it’s almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later.