I’m going to start this off by stating that I am in no way, shape or form an expert when it comes to giving head :’) but I’m certainly not a novice. With that being said, I decided I wanted to make this post in the hopes that it would help those who wanted some advice/tips on getting their partner off in the best way possible.
Don’t be nervous!
Sex is messy. It’s also extremely fun. There is no reason as to why oral sex should be any different. Don’t get me wrong - the first time I sucked a dick, I was petrified!
Like most, I only had porn for reference and hell knows real life is nothing like porn. But there is no need in getting yourself worried because you can’t deep throat like a porn star.
Your partner will be able to tell if you aren’t comfortable, and if you’re not enjoying yourself, they won’t be either. You need to remember that they’re going to be as nervous as you, I mean it’s not everyday your genitals are in someone’s mouth! Just take your time and remember to breathe.
Slow and Steady Wins the Race.
Personally, I like to wind my partner up as much as I can, to the point they can’t take it anymore. This can be done in plenty of ways. Start by rubbing them through their clothing. This way you can get an indication as to whether they’re ‘up for it’ so to speak. Soft touching with clear intent is a great way to start turning them on. Kissing down their body, going achingly slow is also very good while you’re rubbing their cock. As you make your way to their crotch, stop.
TEASE. Use the tip of your tongue along the lining of their pants, pulling them down slowly as you do so.
Make every touch count. You want to keep building the sexual tension up slowly, making him more and more aroused, and in turn making him even more excited for when you finally use your mouth properly.
Kissing his bulge through his boxers add to the anticipation. Kiss, lick and touch his cock and balls through his boxers to give him a taste of what’s to come. While doing this you want to slowly start pulling his boxers down, exposing his (hopefully) fully hard cock.
*Don’t worry if he’s still not at that stage, more teasing is always handy.
Explore.
Dicks look funny.
If this is your first time going down on a guy, take your time to get used to his anatomy. Every penis is different, so don’t worry if you think it looks a bit strange, they all tend to look a bit weird. Using your hands, get a good feel of what his cock feels like. Slowly rub and down his shaft, going from tip to balls and then back up to the tip. You can do that for a little while until you get used to how he feels in your hands.
Now here comes the ‘scary’ part. Using your mouth. Don’t go all in, trying to fit every inch in. Truth is, not a lot of people can deep throat, especially during their first time. Again, taking things slow is key. Using the tip of your tongue, gently lick the tip of his cock. Circular motions are best. You can start to explore his length then, tracing your tongue down his shaft. If you think he would like it, gently use your tongue to lick his balls. Not all men like this, so it’s always good to ask before you try it. Communication is key when doing anything intimate. There’s no wrong time to ask your partner their likes and dislike when it comes to something like this, so don’t be shy. Knowing what they like leads to a happier and healthier attitude towards sex.
Deep Throating; Do I Have To?
Short answer: No. Deep throating isn’t a necessity when giving oral sex. Not everyone can do it and if you don’t feel comfortable trying to do it, tell your partner. I, personally have a really sensitive gag reflex, so I tend to stay away from DT. don’t feel obligated to do it just because your partner likes it. You feeling safe and happy matters more, especially when you’re the one giving.
So what can you do instead of deep throating him? Many things! Taking the tip of his cock in your mouth, work out how much of him you can actually handle. Sucking up and down, slowly at first, picking up speed when you can feel that he wants it. To give him that feeling of deep throating him, you can use your hands while you suck his cock. Getting the momentum right is key. Working his cock with your hand at the same speed that your sucking him does wonders. With your free hand you can play with his balls, arse (if he’s into that) or even use it on yourself. This especially let’s him know that you’re enjoying yourself.
Feel free to lick up and down his length/slap his cock against your tongue/suck on his balls for different ways to get him closer to the edge.
NEVER NEGLECT THE BALLS. I know I’ve said about playing with your partners balls before, but seriously, never neglect them! Rubbing, kissing, licking or sucking them, try it all! He’ll let you know what he does and doesn’t like so give it a whirl. Using your tongue you can tease him from base to tip, or you can rub them while you suck on his cock nice and slow. Try and find out what works best to make him go crazy.
Spit or Swallow?
Ah the age old question. Do you spit, or swallow when he’s finally reached his peak? It’s entirely up to you. It’s all personal preference, everyone tastes different and so you may like how he tastes or you may prefer to not take it in your mouth at all. Don’t feel pressured into swallowing his load just because it happens a lot in porn. Make sure he tells you when he’s ready and tell him what you want him to do. Aslong as he gets to cum, where it ends up shouldn’t be a deal breaker.
JUST. HAVE. FUN.
That’s literally what sex is about! If you’re not having fun during any kind of sexual activity, then there is no point in carrying on. Just be yourself, communicate your feelings and just enjoy yourself. Sex doesn’t need to be taken so seriously, and I feel that if you treat it as less of a taboo and more of the every day occurrence that it is, you’ll feel more comfortable when doing it. Have fun, enjoy yourself and most importantly, let yourself feel good!
I really hope this post helps anyone who’s looking for some advice on giving oral sex, and please let me know if any of this has helped/if there’s anything I can add to it.
Happy sucking!
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