Imagine taking care of post war Levi.
After the war is over, everyone distant from one another, Armin along with his team travel to teach the history and prevent from it repeating, Historia remains in Paradis as queen with her newborn child, some stay in Marley after the war because everything is so destroyed, some choose to go back to Paradis.
Imagine being the only one left from Levi's close squad. Sure, it might have started out rought with him (as does everybody), but you have been there through it all, hand-picked to be in his squad as one of the best soldiers for your skill and wits.
After the war he loses it all, the soldiers he's raised are building their lives and him-with nowhere to go, no place that he calls home that could miss him- you step in and tell Gabi you will be his caretaker, even if Levi protests at first.
It just dosen't seem fair, others out there are enjoying the freedom they fought so hard for, getting married, building their lives and you're stuck here, taking care of an old man that can only walk a short amount of time before needing a wheelchair, and sometimes struggles to do simple tasks.
"I got it, it's fine" he grumbles as you hold him by the arm and gently place him in the wheelchair as he groans in pain, ignoring his previous comment.
But despite what he thinks, you know deep down it's much deeper than that, it isn't just some loyal habit of carrying your duty to take care of your capitan, but rather a selfish need your heart has to keep him close, you who has no home yourself- have found a palace in his presence.
You wonder if all the things you do have caught up to Levi, to others around him - you were appearantly terrible at hiding your feelings, but mabye all that you did was all but a simple and kind act to Levi.
You wake up early every morning to prepare breakfast, making sure to shop well the previous day in order to feed him a full and loving meal. You clean more than usual, keeping him out of the house and occupied in the garden so the dust won't make him sick, even taking him to the cafƩ every morning with his newspaper in hand, a ritual you both effortlessly created with time.
Every weekend you go to buy flowers with Levi, and leave them at the memorial of fallen soldiers, his wheelchair sitting not far behind the engraved stone of his fallen comrade, as you helped him bent down and place them on the cold stone.
'(Hange Zoe) 14th Comander of the Scout Regiment'
Ever since the war ended you had picked up the hobby of baking, you always knew you had a good hand, even during your time with the scouts, where all that was available was potato, bread and some dirty carrots, you managed to make a hearty meal.
Now you bake as your heart desires, making cookies, pies and pastries that Onyakopon,Gabi and Falco enjoy too much when you head out with Levi and everyone for a picnic. And while everyone thanks you and enjoys what your hands made, you don't have the heart to tell anyone that you bake them for Levi, but give it to everyone as to mask your gesture.
It was obvious to Gabi, when you place the picnic basket on the blanket under the tree, and take out all the sandwiches and pastries you've done. You take out a glass for each for the fresh lemonade you've made, and then a special thermos of black tea and pour it for Levi.
It was obvious to Falco when you personally started buying basic medical supplies like needles, alcohol, medication, and gauze because you wanted to take care of Levi personally, after the doctor might have tired him out with walking practice.
It was obvious to Onyakopon, when he kept seeing your regularly at the fabric shop, buying the same white wool. Only to see that white wool turned into a long, soft scraf placed next to a beautiful teaset, packaged well for the Secret Santa they did for Levi's birthday.
But mabye Levi noticed too. He noticed the black tea especially made for him, and the fact that you always placed two pastries in his plate instead of one like the others.
He noticed how gentle your fingers were when they grazes his scars and lifted his leg to tend to it, as if you had found a bird with an injured wing by the window.
He noticed the suttle, but engulfing perfume scent on the new white scarf, and your taste in style when he saw the teaset. He noticed through the slightly open door, tne candlelight that came from the living room when he tried to sleep, and your prickleled hands from the sharp knitting needles.
It is then that he gets up, from his chair, paper crumpled in hand as he reaches for the telephone on the countertop to call for Gabi.
"Where is she" ignoring the fast beating of his heart that wanted to leap out of his chest.
Imagine that after all this time, you figure you need to move on, you tell Gabi you've finished working, and refuse any payment they want to give you as compensation for taking care of a retired soldier. Unable to bear with yourself anymore, after rejecting every man that made any advance, unable to look in the mirror and see someone that he could love. You grab a pen and write a final letter, leaving early in the morning for the next train to take you far away.
Imagine how you close your eyes and sigh at the view of the oncoming train, ready to steal you away, yet your legs felt heavy, and your mind waged war against you to remain unmoved.
It's only when you take the first step that you stop, you don't know if you felt his presence first, or if it was his voice, but a strong wind blew your hair away as you kept your hand near your dress to keep it down, turning your head to see him.
He stood there, stormy eyes glued on you like a target, his wheelchair a few feet away behind him. In almost a shock and slight alert you take a few steps, afraid he'll need support.
"I thought you said you were a woman of your word, what about your promise?" You admire his stable tone in what seems like such an emotional moment to him
But you hate that you know exactly what he means, you remember it very well since back then, when everyone retreated for the night and camped in the dense forest during a mission outside the walls, you stood near a lake, washing your hands and face, thr only light source being groups of fireflies that shyly flew around bushes and near water.
Levi stands right behind you, deep in thought for whatever reason he was, you call him out when feeling his eyes burn the back of your skull.
"You know you don't have to be creep" you quietly say, focused on washing the cloth in your hands, and he slowly walks near a rock.
It is then that you made a promise to him. That you promised you would not die and stand beside him as long as be lived. It was an admirable obedience and trust from a soldier towards their capitan.
"Don't tell me it dosent matter as much to you now" he bring you back to reality.
"I fufilled it didn't I? I lived and stood beside you" you almost argue back.
"And I'm still alive." He steps foward slightly, using the metal railing that slightly shook as support.
"You fufilled your promise as a soldier and i did my duty as you capitan" he now stands in front of you, it's only when you notice the crumbled up letter in his hand.
"Now let me fufill my duty as a man"
The train swooshes past you, swaying leaves in the wind and onto the sunset, with a loud honk it continued to pass on your side, but your focus was long gone as his lips remained unmoved from yours. It was that day that despite any gear training and how far on a tree you've climbed, it felt like this moment was the highest you've ever flown.
It was from then on that when you helped him to bed, he'd tuck your hair away in the morning, with a strand between his fingers until you pretended you were slowly waking up.
It was now that once you finished cooking, you'd notice Levi place a second cup of tea on the table, before sitting back down to continue his book.
It was then that he'd go and buy the flowers for the memorial, making sure to get a extra bouquet to bring home to you.
It was then that whenever anyone asked him to stay for a celebration of after party, he'd simply say no and leave.
"My wife is waiting for me at home" he says with no ring on neither of your fingers yet.
It was then that he'd feel his ego boost a bit whenever you laughed out loud at one of his unfunny shit jokes.
It is then that he notices the contrast between the feeling of you pushing your hands on his chest to keep the blood from leaving the deadly wound, to placing them gently on his chest as you rest in the afterglow of a playful afternoon.
After all, it is when you both sit close under the shade of a tree, you watch Gabi and Falco mess around in the lake-dunking one another as you reminisce a time where you swear you've seen this happen before, Levi's hand that brushed a book page, unknowingly falls on top of yours, yet it dosen't move.
Imagine it is then, when he looks up at you, that he realizes he truly-like you- may have not had a place to call home, had somehow found heaven in you.
