I Don’t Know How To Adult

They call me a puppy for being excited about life

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Zack: Ice is so brave, it floats on it’s own blood

Angeal: Are..Are you high?

Zack: 6’2”, why?

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Cloud: Ah yes, my train of thought

Cloud: Or as I like to call it, the anxiety express

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Cloud:You think serial killers are generous enough to let you finish watching the series finale of your favourite show before killing you?

Zack:

Zack: Spike, love of my life, no offence but what the fuck?

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Don’t joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

-Zack, most likely

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Cloud: Is there a word that’s a mix between sad and mad?

Kunsel: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolate

Zack: Smad

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Zack: I can’t deal with this right now, stress is bad for the baby

Kunsel: What baby?!

Zack: Me

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Kunsel: Zack, what happened to your fingers? They’re covered in bandaids!

Zack: You know those chefs on tv who cut their vegetables really really fast?

Kunsel: …Yeah?

Zack: I can’t do that

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Zack: I’ve only slept for 9 hours over the past 5 days, so I’m right on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Zack: *bites into his phone*

Zack: This isn’t a bagle

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Angeal: My protégé must be highly skilled, well coordinated, and confident without a doubt-

Zack: *trips over a plant and apologies to it*

Angeal: I want that one

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Zack: I made a to do list!

Cloud: That’s good

Zack: And on number one

Zack: Cloud Strife

Cloud: *stuttering nonsense*

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Zack: So basically zebras are horses that got stuck in the printer

Cloud: Zack, I love you but what the fuck?

Zack: Wait wait, listen, if my thinking is correct-

Cloud: Which it is not

Zack: -they should neigh instead of barking like someone being strangled or running out of air

Cloud:

Cloud: Can we have one normal dinner

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Genesis: People think I’m a bad person, I’m really not.

Yesterday I went up to this child and asked him where his parents were.

I do so love visiting the orphanage

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Zack: Name something you can say in a traffic jam and in the bedroom

Reno: let me in asshole

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Cloud: Rejected names for popsicles?

Zack: Chilldos

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Zack: Dude, why is bacon called bacon, and cookies called cookies..

Kunsel:

Zack: ..if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Kunsel: Zack..please not now, I’m trying to sleep!

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Zack: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!

Angeal: Mind your language

Zack: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Angeal:

Zack: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes man

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Zack: *turning around* Welcome, fellow idiot

Angeal : Hello, Zack

Zack: No, no, you're not an idiot Angeal

Angeal : You underestimate me puppy