Trash

Just a bunch of random shit man

[frumpkin-spice-latte-deactivate]

“What have you done”

[caduceus-tealeaf]

The Mighty Nein + Onion Headlines - Part 3

[pdlcomics]

Space Snake

[safelyendangered]

rumble (http://safelyendangered.com/webtoon)

[spoookyscary]

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.

The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.

The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.

Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.

Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”

When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.

Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

[lindeloffspring]

what did i just read

[harokissmile]

Irish women are strong as fuck

[lord-kitschener]

“I lived, bitch” irl

[bitch-is-for-happy]

you come into MY chilis, BARBECUE SAUCE ON YOUR TITTIES, and disrespect MY valentino white bag? fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this. you’re disrespecting a FUTURE US army soldier - i think i know more about american girl dolls than you. ive got the power of god AND anime on my side!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

don’t claim to know pain if you haven’t read this post

[ryankhudson]

BONUS

[piecomic]

[abdullahqutbedden]

Daily reminder that Gizmodo is a piece of shit website that doesn’t let people enjoy anything.

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

Gizmodo author, through gnashing teeth and tears: I’d treat her right…

[thespectacularspider-girl]

Look, we’re all hot for Helen but you don’t fucking disrespect Bob like this.

[this-blog-dead]

Bob is one of the best dads and husbands in media today and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

man

the creators of superman really named a small town “smallville” and a big city “metropolis” didn’t they 

[omnybus]

Stu, let me ask you a question: how did you not realize until then that you had too many eggs? Nobody sells eggs in a big cloth-covered basket, so you must have done that yourself. That means you spent god-knows-how-long opening up twelve whole cartons of eggs, carefully placing each egg one-by-one inside a big basket, and then covering it with a big picnic cloth… and at no point- at no point- did you ever stop and think “gee, there might be TOO MANY FUCKING EGGS HERE”

You really have lost control of your life.

[omnybus]

I may have gone overboard with this

[gayasscommie-deactivated2017090]

@koheles

[transgirlcyberpunk]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

[mallninjacode-deactivated201812]

We’re entering a brave new world of memes that require a working knowledge of the history of memes to continue making memes

[10370150]

even the grater lol

[beckettmariner-deactivated20200]

I lose it every fucking time

[renthebarbarian]

The Enterprise crew:

[bricesander]

[bruitist]

[nuka-rockit]

the bible but its retold in memes

[nuka-rockit]

“if she eat the fruit, she a thot”, the Allmighty said

“all women are queensssss” the serpent hissed into Eve’s ear

[nuka-rockit]

HE saw that they had eaten the fruit. and so with divine fury, he cast them out of Paradise as HIS voice thundered across the planes

“This bitch sentient. YEET”

[nuka-rockit]

Jesus handed his disciples the cup with wine

“take a sip babes, for this is my blood”

[zombiebrainsoup]

as he cast samael the lightbringer out of heaven, the lord turned to his voice. metatron, this is so sad. play despacito

[blue-fluffy-dragon]

God saw how corrupt the earth had become, for all the people on earth had corrupted their ways. Then said for all, but Noah and his family, “then perish”

[alleenickel]

And on the seventh day, God said: “It is Sunday, my dudes.”

[quinintheclouds]

And He told His followers about the Promised Land:

Moses commanded the red sea in the name of God, “Move, I’m gay.”

And the Lord spoke to his disciples, “Take, cronch. This is my body, given for you.” Then, lifting the wine, Jesus cracked open a cold one with the boys.

The blind man was made to see by Jesus’ hand, and he looked up in awe. “I’d like to thank not only God but also Jesus.”

The Pharaoh of Egypt would not relent, for he was the sand guardian, guardian of the sand, and the Israelites quivered before him.

Tied up and helpless, Samson’s wig was snatched.

On the third day, Jesus rose again. “I’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me.”

“PSA: here are the new Commandments, thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

“Um OP literally created the world and everything in it but go off I guess”

Witnessing Jesus walking on water, the disciples were in awe: “Oh, my God — He on x-games mode”

Jesus, bound to the cross, spoke thusly:

[fluidityandgiggles]

David: Bro I had a dream we fucked

Jonathan: Bro it’s just a dream

David: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you

Jonathan: You wouldn’t?

David: I mean, unless you want to…

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

@lets-talk-about-sects

[silvermarmoset]

the new batch of love for john mulaney here on tumblr has got me thinking how critical costume design is once again. john mulaney is a good comedian, but so much of his power comes from how his humor plays off how he’s dressed. we don’t expect a man dressed like a 1960s news announcer, all clean scrubbed and tight-wound professional, to describe in minute detail the visit where a doctor shoved a hand up his ass. imagine any iconic john mulaney set but given in jeans and a t-shirt, and is it as funny? i don’t think so. his humor spreads like wildfire on this website because the image of a man in a buttoned-up shirt and a tie and slicked back hair with fairly narrow lapels on his three-piece suit is fucking hysterical when paired with “years later I’d be in college about to go down on some rockin’ twink and i’d be like what would leonard bernstein do”

[mushroomancy]

List of resources for dnd

roll20: Make an account to play the game

Orcpub: For hosting and editing your character sheet

DND Wiki: Homebrew things, races, classes, misc

Players Handbook: Rules how to play how to make a character, all basic information for playing a game

Discord: to talk during and about the game

[mushroomancy]

Mythweavers: another character sheet editor

[occams-lazer]

Homebrewery: homebrew creation tool. Uses basic coding language to great effect.

[mushroomancy]

If anyone wants to join just join the discord server and post your character

[jacebeleren]

http://autorolltables.github.io/#

can randomly generate just about ANYTHING. awesome for dms

[deweydecimalchickens]

Tabletop Audio: background music and sound effects for the ambience.

[corseque]

PCGen - a character creation program that handles all the tricky and tedious parts of building characters, including NPCs.

d20pfsrd.com - all the free information you would ever need to play Pathfinder, an alternative to D&D

[meonlyred]

DiceCloud: Interactive character sheet that can be edit and shared with yourself or others easily. Pulled up anywhere with internet connection on PC, Mac, or mobile device. Use it to also mark down health, death saving throws, spell slots, experience, and more on the fly. 

DnDMagic: List all spells currently available from Player’s Handbook and Elemental Evil. 

5th Edition Spellbook app: Make spellbooks for all your characters, manage spells, prepare spells. Keep track of Spell Save DC, and Spell Attack bonus on your mobile device. 

[hawkeabelas]

Squire - Another character creation and management app. Contains most of the basic info and spells already, with options to create spells, items, classes/subclasses, etc. This is the free version, but pro has more options for DMs, including initiative order control.

[dnd-maps-n-stuff]

RPG Generator - An app that randomly generates things from NPC appearances to criminal gangs. It’s free and a great on the fly DM tool.

[undying-sentinel]

Kobold Fight Club: A generator for building and managing encounters. Good options to help narrow your monster picks and will calculate the XP to help you manage the difficulty. You can also save your encounter and it has tools for keeping track of encounters as well.

Medieval Fantasy City Generator: A nice tool if you need to map out a city but are having some trouble coming up with it, or you just need something on the fly.

Donjon: A site with all sorts of generators, tables, and other resources for various tabletop rpgs.

Weak Magic Item Generator: A generator for specifically making items that are weaker than a +1 item in 5e. There are a lot of interesting effects included on this generator and it is fun to play with.

Fantasy Name Generators: A one stop shop for any of your naming needs. There are an absurd amount of generators here.