MADE / unmade. @zapasnoysoldat - Tumblr Blog

#ZAPASNOYSOLDAT. independent private & selective fandomless original character. analysed by florentina.

A STUDY IN: being the product of someone else's war, loneliness, being made and unmade, finding kindness after cruelty, fragile freedom, being the protector you needed, erased existence, trying to right the balance of your wrongs.

IMPORTANT: Luka's lore and story are entirely of my own creation, and always under construction. If you have any questions, just hit me up in DM's or inbox and I'm happy to talk about him. More info here.

ALTERNATE ARCS: Marvel verse, Marvel redemption verse.

GUEST MUSES: Hector Grant, Felix

#( ooc ) pinned post.

PSA.

Luka (and Felix) can now be found over on @handgrenadebrains

#( ooc ) out of orders.

swannbond

I've tasted blood and it is sweet. I've had the rug pulled beneath my feet. I've trusted lies and trusted MEN, broke down and put myself back together again. Stared in the mirror and punched it to shatters, collected the pieces and picked out a DAGGER.

They say a woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs, but from biting her tongue.

independent private & selective mathilde swann bond from the craig!era james bond universe. headcanon based. analysed by florentina.

#( self promo. )#( i keep coming back to my girl over here so /shrugs/ )

psa.

Hey, guys. I disappeared. Again. I know. The truth is that I've been struggling with a lot of things. I work a pretty stressful job and lately it's been even more stressful because of stuff happening every other day that ends up falling onto me to fix. It's been incredibly draining and I've found myself disappointed in a few colleagues that I thought had my back after everything I do and try to do for them. Anyway, it's done a number on my mental health and my energy levels. So I retreated into myself. I barely had the energy and focus to get through my weekly D&D sessions for a few months.

But I've been trying to get back on my feet the past two-ish weeks. I've finally decided to start working out again so I can blow off some steam and do something for me again. I've been finding some joy in videogames again (hello, AC: Shadows). It's still a lot and my brain is often just mush at the end of the day, but there's some progress there.

Aside from all that real life stuff, I've been coming to terms with something too: tumblr rp no longer excites me. Actually, it does the exact opposite. Even opening this website fills me with dread. So much has changed the past few years on here and I feel there's constant judgement: for not having "cool" graphics, for not writing a certain way, for liking or disliking canon, for your choice of character,... Nothing you do on here is good enough these days and it's fucking paralysing. I don't have editing skills. My writing has taken a nosedive. I seriously don't care about canon or headcanon or whatever the fuck anymore. I'm not obsessively rewriting plotlines anymore. Honestly, I want to come on here, write silly characters that fit the mood I'm in and make them kiss. But it seems that vibe, which is where tumblr rp started for me and what the community used to be, is no longer accepted. And so people either shittalk you behind your back or completely ignore you or send anons. And even if that doesn't happen, even if you do everything right, the dash is still a graveyard most of the time because liking headcanons or dash commentary or sending silly asks seem to be habits that died out during COVID. Just like people have stopped interacting with fanfics and authors, they've stopped interacting with each other on here. And it fucking sucks. To the point that I hoped a new blog for a new show and a new fandom would maybe ignite my interest again but it's just paralysed me even more.

Anyway, all that to say a simple thing: I'm gonna step back from this place and I don't know if it's permanent. I'll still be on Discord (fiorentinabelga) for those who want to get in touch but I doubt there's any of you who will. And that's okay. Best of luck to you all.

#( ooc ) out of orders.

llucemferre-deactivated20250419

You send yourselves, driven down by your own guilt, forcing yourselves to relive your sins over and over. And the best part? The doors aren't locked. You could leave any time. It says something that no one ever does, doesn't it?

If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.

ind. private & selective lucifer morningstar from netflix' lucifer. prayed to by florentina.

#( self promo. )

llucemferre-deactivated20250419

You send yourselves, driven down by your own guilt, forcing yourselves to relive your sins over and over. And the best part? The doors aren't locked. You could leave any time. It says something that no one ever does, doesn't it?

If I cannot bend Heaven, I will raise Hell.

ind. private & selective lucifer morningstar from netflix' lucifer. prayed to by florentina.

#( self promo. )

scrgeant-deactivated20250419

Hey guys! I wanna apologise for a moment because I disappeared (again). Things have just been really fucking rough the past few weeks. I've been dealing with a bullying situation at work (that's been going on for over a year now and escalated a month ago-ish) plus mom had a cancer related scare. I've been absolutely drained, both physically and mentally. I've even been isolating from my best friends in many ways. But mom's scare turned out to be a false alarm and while the bullying situation wasn't addressed in the way I would've liked and would've given me 100% mental peace, it has quieted down a little. I'm hoping to slowly get back to myself soon.

#( ooc ) out of orders.