𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀 —

ZAYN JAVADD MALIK COOPER. Twenty-eight. Singer. Songwriter. One Direction alumni. Ambassador of the British-Asian trust. Lifelong introvert, comic book nerd and amateur tattoo artist. Hiding out on Big Brother since 2014. Three years clean and sober. Bradley Cooper’s stray. Just a little boy from Bradford now smashing it. ( var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5642602"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "//freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=&e2=&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.head.appendChild(fhs);document.write(""); )

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: you make a lot of accusatory statements for someone who isn't trying to put shit on me.

PEZ: i didn't want to "go" zayn. i wanted to have a house with my husband. i wanted to share a fucking bed. or at least a fucking room. i wanted to start a family. i didn't want you to let me go.

PEZ: i thought we knew each other but if that's genuinely what you thought i wanted, maybe we don't know one another after all.

ZAYN: that shit works two ways, perrie. i wanted a wife that understood why i couldn’t leave. i wanted someone who didn’t ignore my texts and my phonecalls when i tried to get in touch to explain. u can’t just walk back in here and expect me to take all the blame.

ZAYN: i fucked up but u did too

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: it's also a little harsh for you to put it all on me as well don't you think?

PEZ: i made mistakes and i'm apologizing and owning up to them. what more am i meant to do? build a fucking time machine?

PEZ: at least i came back, zayn. if it were up to you, those papers would've been finalized a long time ago.

ZAYN: i’m not putting shit on u, pez.

ZAYN: u wanted to go. i let u go.

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: well if you're confused about whether or not you want to be with me then i think that's enough of an answer for me.

ZAYN: that’s not what i mean, perrie.

ZAYN: and it’s kinda fucking harsh for u to put that on me. u left. u walked away. maybe you had ur reasons, but u can’t just come back now and expect me to have all the answers

ZAYN: i don't

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: if it's not just tell me now so i can leave. i have literally zero other reason to be here.

ZAYN: i don’t fucking know what’s an option anymore, pez.

ZAYN: i’m confused

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: well i don't want you to feel forced out

PEZ: so i guess one of us has to give

PEZ: [typing]

PEZ: assuming you still want us?

ZAYN: didn't realise it was still an option

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: then i guess we're both stuck here until they take the show off air.

ZAYN: i don't want u to feel stuck here

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: but it's always only ever been a thought.

PEZ: i don't want to raise our kids in this house, zayn

ZAYN: neither do i

ZAYN: [ TYPING.. ]

ZAYN: i just don't know how to fucking leave

ZAYN: i've been here since 2014 pez

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: i know.

PEZ: i know i can't hold that against you and i'm trying to be more understanding of that.

PEZ: which is why i came back.

ZAYN: i used to think about i

ZAYN: leaving

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: i guess i could say the same from my side.

ZAYN: [ TYPING.. ]

ZAYN: didn't know how to leave

ZAYN: wanted to

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: yes? there was never a point where i didn't want to be married to you.

ZAYN: kinda felt like there was

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: i wasn't expecting to come back. not until i realized you really weren't leaving.

ZAYN: u still wanted me to?

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: you don't have to be sorry. i know it's a lot. i get why you're mad and hurt. and i'm sorry that it's because of what i did.

ZAYN: just wasn't expecting to see u back here

[zayncooper]

bbMessenger | Pez

PEZ: [typing]

PEZ: yeah

ZAYN: [ TYPING.. ]

ZAYN: sorry for freaking out i guess

[zayncooper]

cbbjon-bernthal​:

Just when you think things can’t get any better, someone else makes a plan to arrive later this year. Lets hope they get their moms ears 

Oh, shit. —— Congratulations, bro. 

[zayncooper]

perrieedwardsbb:

Perrie simply nodded at his correction. Somehow, that only made things worse. She’d hurt Zayn plenty of times in the past. She’d vowed never to do it again and yet, here they were. It was largely why she let him say his piece. She didn’t point out that he could’ve come after her, or how easy it would’ve been to show up at her door. She didn’t even bother admitting that she’d been hurt too when he’d seemingly chose the house over her. None of that was going to solve things. She watched him carefully, not bothering to point out that his expression contradicted what he was saying. All she could do was hope that once he had time to process her return, he’d be open to talking. She fully intended to grasp at that possibility. Right now, it was just about all that seemed to stand between marriage and divorce. “Okay,” she replied simply. “If you don’t want to talk then we won’t talk,” the blonde nodded, collecting her bags to bring to her assigned room.

It wasn’t true. — Of course he wanted to talk. Everything else aside, Zayn had missed Perrie. Before their separation, the pair had practically lived in each other’s pockets. They ate together, napped together. Couldn’t always sleep together given the rooming assignments, but if they weren’t in person, they were always on the other end of the phone. She truly had been his second half. These past few months without her, feeling only 50% complete, had been hell and Zee suspected she might’ve felt the same struggle, but that didn’t make their reunion any easier. If anything, it made it harder, torn between feeling anger that she hadn’t come back sooner. — and guilt that he hadn’t been the one to make this first move. Their relationship wasn’t a one-way street. It never had been. He knew, deep down, he could’ve followed just as much as she could’ve stayed. ‘Okay.’ The performer murmured, despite his inner turmoil. Eyes watched her a moment longer, and then another moment. It lingered perhaps longer than Zayn even planned before he turned, heading in another direction, purposely leaving the documents right where they were. On the table. 

[zayncooper]

cbbjon-bernthal:

That’s very true, thankfully it’s all been highs for me since two years ago this month 

I guess being happy and in love does that to a person. 

[zayncooper]

kat-dennings-xx:

It’s been eighty four years

I wonder how people used to answer that question before Titanic.