zea

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[futurafreestyle]

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Blonded intro to Solo

[digitalsuicide2006]

[roseyjones]

dustin & yves cleveland, ohio 
july 2017

[phuckindope]

[zeamusic-blog1]

[understands]

[tampire]

[kokoronomicon]

[lbelieveinyou]

[marydsign]

Tarantino & arts by Shusaku Takaoka

[divabey]

[history-aesthetics-deactivated2]

[zeamusic-blog1]

5/8/19; 1:59am

face - bh

i know i care too much. and i care too quickly. and then i get attached. but how can i not care? like if you tell me about yourself and your insecurities and we talk everyday, even if conversation isnt that great, but if you trust me enough to tell me about your darker personality, how can i not care? how can i not be there for you? you know? i can’t just ignore that or leave, and i wont do that. even when i know you wouldnt do the same for me. or at least not to the same extent. i know people care about me but i always care more. thats just the way it is. everyone has someone else to pay just a little bit more attention to. and thats okay, i guess. i’ve kinda accepted it even if i still think and get angry over the fact that i always give too much, receive too little. but i still do it so... idk. and everyone always says the same thing - i dont deserve this, ur too sweet etc etc. and its so fucking true lmao you dont deserve me. no one i have met deserves me cos i just give so so much and dont get it back. and it fucking sucks. its exhausting. i just end up feeling drained and used and empty but somehow i still always find more love to give, no matter what. i wish i could control it but its like im just a love dispenser at this point. and thats really the only reason most people stick around me. bc i gas them always. sometimes its blatant like some people i care about or would like to know better, only message me to ask me to listen to their new project bc they know i’ll love it and support them and gas them. its innocent i guess but its still using me to an extent isnt it. for once i just want someone to care about me more than i care about them. i wanna know what it feels like to have someone i know will always be there even if i ignore them for time. im just a pushover tbh. care too much about people who won’t do the same and ignore the people who actually might until i push them away. ironic. cant blame anyone else but myself. as usual lol.

i need a friend you need a home

[recaption]

[skogrn]

[recaption]

[timbllr]