stop sellin' fib bibs and get it straight

bit of a cloaca, though

[zevri]

Pinned post

You can find my art on here, twt, and ig at @karoselkie

My AO3 is also @karoselkie

My succession account is @gerribairdism

My starfleet academy account is @obelwochak

My fandom twt is @ snakeycactus

[tbposting]

See this, this is what I like about TikTok. Little moments like this

[hthrrloooo]

Catastrophize Benedictine

[itsyveinthesky]

[seabassapologist]

[penismage]

Hello!

Howdy!

I’d like, uh, two normal rolls.

Sure thing!

And one with the… With the pumpkin seeds.

Which do you mean?

The one with the… With the seeds.

What are they called?

Uhm… A, uh, “crunchy pumpky.”

Sure thing. Would you like anything else?

Uhh… I’ll also take a, uh… A… A Nutella donut…?

Unfortunately, I don’t know at all what you mean…

A… One of those right there!

You really must tell me, what’s it called??

I… I’m… I’m a dumb piece of shit.

Sure thing! Anything else?

That one there?

You know what you need to do. [Here she switches from the formal, customer service voice to addressing him casually and familiarly.]

I… I’m a little greedy pig, oink oink?

Do it!

[grunts like a pig]

That comes to €13.50, please! Have a beautiful day!

Hello! I’d like an “I hate my father” and two “I have a small willi—” [The word that gets cut off is Pimmel, an un-sexy term for penis.]

[zevri]

Did not think "barefoot rascal who behaves unseriously despite and/or because of being regularly beset by the horrors x stern, competent footwear cop who would rather draw 25 than talk about their feelings" as a ship dynamic would be something I'd get the 2 nickels experience on, but I fear many of you are susceptible to this.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Nature Documentary: these deep sea creatures can withstand crushing pressures of thousands of pounds per square inch!

Me: they’re not withstanding a goddamn thing. The pressure is a part of them. Their interiors and exteriors are equalized. Just because your respiratory system is built around a pair of fragile poppable bubbles-

[artofdoubt]

1.09 // 2.02 // 4.10 // 3.09 // 5.10

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[jessaerys]

hate when im reading and theres a word i dont know so i search it in the dictionary and its like: beuperer. noun. a person who beupers. i'll fucking kill you

[zevri]

I gotta say. The evocation of San Junipero in the Hacks finale was peak. Has anyone made a comparison post yet

[tony-the-tigers-juicy-armpit]

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

[midnightmaelstrom]

I asked my girlfriend what she considers a Round pokemon to be and she sent me this.

[matumnaples]

Before June I have to share one of my favorite tiktoks

[gsirvitor]

[greelin]

charismatic but in the sense that being an absolute freak does interest & compel people

[greelin]

like hey. What’s up with this guy then

[frootlooppoptarts]

[jerreeeeeee]

not every mutual fits neatly into an archetypal medievalism but there are some mutuals that im like yeah addressing you as “my liege” would come strangely naturally

[jerreeeeeee]

what mutual is prev

my liege lord

my loyal knight

my wise wizard

my evil advisor

my brother in arms

my lady muse

my wild mermaid friend

my fellow alchemist

my dashing rapscallion

my monstrous foe

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