SKY IS THE LIMIT,

I  COULD  𝐃𝐈𝐄  IN  A  MINUTE.

[zhi8te]

THE     SPADE     QUEEN     !        A     PRIVATE      AND      SELECTIVE      WRITING      BLOG      FEATURING         LU     ZHIRUO     /     “LUCY”             OF     ORIGINAL     CREATION,     DEBUTED      IN     8TE.         A     STUDY     INTO     A     BROKEN     MOLD,     THE     PRICE     OF     FAME,     PLAYING     THE     PAWN     AMIDST     CORRUPTION,     AND     THE    MISPLACED     REASSURANCE     OF     SELF     IN     A     WORLD     OF     SHATTERED     MIRRORS.        LARGELY    VIBES    BASED     WITH     SPICY     INTERPRETATIONS.         AS     IDOLIZED     BY     MACY.         EST.    FEBRUARY   2023.

GUIDELINES BELOW.

DISCLAIMER:     this character and blog was a result of being disgusted with how fetishized and romanticized the kpop industry and its idols are.     i’m looking at you weird ass kpop idol blogs   ( and just general krp even tho some of y’all claim to not affiliate w it lol )   bc you all just clearly use them to feed your y/n ship delusions and it’s gross,   seek help.     my goal is to actually explore how debilitating being an idol can be,   how that affects a person,   and their interpersonal relationships.     idol muses shouldn’t be an rpc ick but it unfortunately is bc of how they’ve been treated,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and i wanna fix that as a fellow asian gal.

INTRODUCTION

independent and selective writing blog for lu zhiruo “lucy”,     an original character slapped into a problematic world and debuting in an entirely original group.     literally do not steal anything.     i will eat your kneecaps.

GENERAL

18+ only.    mutually exclusive.     softblock when breaking mutuals.

formatting doesn’t matter to me.     just cut your posts,   and do not use a picture/screenshot as your reply.     i’m selective with those who primarily use gifs as it screams being affiliated with a certain icky side of the rpc.

DNI.

do not interact if you use non - acting idols for faceclaims;   are a multi and primarily use east asian fcs    ( especially if they are korean )    because that screams fetishization to me;    write historical or real muses;     use youtubers/influencers as fcs;     and/or soley focus on sexual nsfw.

i am being SO mf serious do NOT follow if you use idols for a fc or write kpop idols UNLESS i follow you first.    ( dont even come for me bc my fc is a whole actress <3 )

CONTENT & TAGGING

i don’t use tw tagging format,   and i only tag overtly graphic and explicit content.

this blog will have implied sexual nsfw content,   but very rarely,   as it’s not my thing.     smutting will likely not happen unless we’re close and it will never be on dash.    

some topics that might be mentioned or featured on this blog:     eating disorders,   suicide,   self - harm,   drugs / drinking,   sexual assault,   violence,   sex.    just your basic real world bs.    as mentioned above,   nothing will be tagged unless explicit so like uh follow at your own discretion lmao.

SHIPPING & MAINS

this blog is multiship.   romance is typically not top priority for me and i tend to prefer other forms of dynamics:     antagonistic,   platonic,   familial,   etc.     

mains and exclusives happen if we vibe a lot or write a lot,   otherwise don’t ask <3

WRITER & CREDITS

i’m macy,   23,   she/her.     this is not my main blog so activity will limited.     discord available upon request.

INFO ON LUCY:         lucy was born and raised in chenzhou ( china ),   later moving to beijing to attend an english boarding school from the age of twelve.     she didn’t grow up with “rich” money but was able to live comfortably for the most part.     speaks little english due to the faulty teaching methods of the boarding school and her environment.     grew up being involved in various singing and dancing productions and developed a genuine passion for it,   going as far as to entering competitions and winning some of them.     when she was fourteen,   she   ( against her parents’ wishes )   sent an audition to recruiters to become an idol trainee in south korea,   going through a series of trials virtually and in - person prior to being picked as a final trainee.    convinced ( lol ) her parents to give permission and she was later contracted into a company.     alone in a country with a language she wasn’t familiar with,   she just barely managed to survive.    eventually debuted into a group known as 8TE    ( pronounced ate lmaaoooo ),   with seven other members,   and they would be one of the rare co - ed idol groups.     after a scandal exposed the mistreatment of 8TE,   they were able to legally break their contract and switch to a different company that was considerably better ( lesser of two evils ).    8TE is more globally popular than they are domestically,   but they steadily began topping the charts and winning many awards,   eventually gaining the full support of south korea.

“lucy” is derived from the first part of her surname and given name: lu - zhi,   later spelled and pronounced as lu - ji after appearing on some survival shows,   and then after 8TE’s debut,   she was instructed to go by lucy as part of the rebranding process.      she is still referred to as lu - ji in some media / friends.     lucy is 8TE’s main rapper,   main dancer and part of the dance unit,   and sub - vocals.    she is well - known for her lower / deeper tone,   a rarity in female idols,   though she is fully versatile with her range and is able to hit high notes with ease.

8TE’S running theme surrounds eight face cards with titles assigned to each member.    lucy is queen of spades.     8TE’s debut song and album theme revolved around alice in wonderland,   so this birthed fandom “associations” with each members and lucy’s emoji / “symbol” is a teapot / teacup.     8TE’s fans are called craz8tes or crazates.

lucy is an amalgamation of everyone she’s ever met due to her on - going identity crisis.     she wouldn’t ever voice this to anyone,   she tends to keep shit to herself.    she’s often dubbed the quiet but deadly type,   very rarely showing her real emotions until pushed to the brink.     she’s quite impulsive and very strategic with manipulating how she’s perceived and spinning the story so it suits her narrative.     developed a very fight or fight type vibe,   often appearing as if she’s taking the “bigger person route” when she’s just plotting.     very judgmental and calls it like it is,   seen as the logical member but she’s still a crackhead at heart.     honestly a meme - bank.

HOW TO INTERACT?     lucy is written from ages 25-40+.     main verse is just in her prime idol years ( so 25 - 33 ish ),   but she eventually breaks out in hollywood as a musician and actress.     her and her group members start their own production company waaayyy later to try and Fix the system from the inside out.      alt verses would include some typa jennifer’s body bs which is basic but it is what it is,   a crime ish verse where she’s just forced undercover as an idol by her home country’s government and later taken into a covert op,   and blah blah.    any verse is available,   she’ll just be a celeb in most of them.     heehehehehehoooohooo.

[zhi8te]

i’ll expand on this more later but lucy has one of the most . complex and disorienting relationships with the government because they essentially have control over her life, her family, and career. it’s like constantly walking on a tightrope in the spotlight and she isn’t allowed to mess up by their standards

[zhi8te]

the thing about being back in my editing era is that i have no focus for anything else 🧍🏻‍♀️

[zhi8te]

INTRODUCING: 8TE / EAT OR BE EATEN.

[zhi8te]

there’s this thing with idols whenever they’re at award shows, they show minimal to no reaction during performances and it’s . well yeah,,,, but 8TE? rowdy as hell they be acting like stans in their seats and vibing

[zhi8te]

whenever lucy gets the cursed “what advice would u give for …….” question she straight up just 🧍🏻‍♀️ “i also would like to have advice for that too” or just bullshits an answer and admits that it’s bullshit

[mal8te]

lucy was mad.   that much malee could make out even as her heart pounded against her ribs and her brain screamed at her to make her group mate see the thrill of it all.   NONE OF IT MATTERED.   not lucy,   not the curfew,   not even the gnawing realization that malee would never again feel as light as she felt in that very moment.    all that mattered was the way her chest swelled with unbridled elation and her fingers buzzed to touch every surface as if for the first time.   if malee could bottle the feeling she would in a heartbeat.   she tiptoed carefully around the island as if dancing on the edge of a cloud.   when malee’s eyes shot to the spatula, she visibly flinched as the sound cracked like lightning.    her eyes widened and she stumbled back with a too loud laugh, palms raised in surrender.    ❝   heeey,   hey,   hey  —    ❞    she started with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.   a grin that would do her no good in her current situation but her emotions ebbed and flowed in ways she couldn’t control.    ❝    zhiruo,    ❞   she did her best to sweeten the name even with the leaden weight of her tongue in her mouth.    everything malee did or said felt like a shot in the dark.    she’d been in these shoes before ; found and chided by one of the eight.   a jarring sort of deja vu.    but the thing about her cocktail of substances was they made it exceptionally hard to recall just how she had gotten herself out of her last sticky situation. last time it had been iseul who had found her. or maybe it was bitna. fuck it, didn't matter.    

❝    if you hit me i’ll scream.   ❞   malee blurted out with a taunting stare.   a challenge in her dilated pupils.    ❝   and then,   and then,   everyone will be awake and they’ll care less about the curfew and more about being woken up at whatever o’ clock you just said.   ❞   the redhead raised her brows as if she had automatically won the argument with her retort.    she did her best to swallow the slowly rising anxiety that clawed at the back of her throat and drummed her fingers against the countertop.    ❝   why does it matter anyways ?    no one followed me home, no one saw me.   ❞   malee knew she couldn’t prove that but lying came so easily to her.   tomorrow’s tabloids would be a tomorrow problem.

[zhi8te]

if there is one thing lucy absolutely detests, it is a loss of control. putting her life in the hands of strangers from such a young age should have molded her into a completely different entity, but this part of her remains stubborn and reluctant to break apart. perhaps this is why the group has yet to crumble completely, or why they're able to maintain this illusion of well - behaved members. a rarity in a world rigged to poison them from the inside - out. and now she continues to watch one of her own do it to herself with no questions asked. “ uh - uh. zhiruo is for cool people. you are not cool people right now, you have zero rights. ” her name, usually a welcome sound, felt grating and stained coming from malee in this state. lucy could opt to give up and let her fend for herself, let her sleep it off, and wake up the next morning pretending nothing happened. it would have been easier that way, and yet every time she considers doing it, she can't bring herself to leave it alone. camden says it's her so - called mommy issues. she doesn't disagree.

“ if you scream, you're being an absolute asshole. ” it comes off as a simple and weak insult, but it carries more weight in the unsaid : they both knew nobody was getting the sleep they needed. the quietness of the flat was rare enough as it is, and ruining that would have been ... catastrophic. “ just be happy it's me and not i - seul. ” not that he'd handle it much more differently, but he has a way of sparking the most foul amount of guilt in a person because they knew just how much he cared and how much he sacrificed for them all. lucy, on the other hand, cared little for pretenses and pillowed lectures. “ the look on your face tells me you don't even know if that's true. ” she's creeping closer towards her, footsteps light as she snakes around the island with ease. “ where were you ? who were you with ? how did you even get back ? ” the questions fire out quickly, but lucy cares little for the actual answers. she only wants to know just how seriously they should prepare for the fall - out of the morning news. or to think of a potential solution beforehand, even if it meant dragging a walking sludge alongside.

[zhi8te]

* / @dam8te sent : how did they find us ? ♤

“ that's what i'm wondering ... fuck. fuck - fuck - fuck. ” lucy doesn't ever swear. not really. kind of. at least not in this capacity. here, she's able to keep it under her breath, the strung - out words nearly inaudible. this mask she wears never slips, even when she feels like panicking and eating her own heart out just to stop its trepidation. the misconception here is that stalkers, or sasaengs, are more dangerous when in foreign territory, and while that may be true, it was worse when they followed from their main country. it always weirded lucy out enough to see repeated faces across every tour stop, and worse when they somehow landed on the same flights as the group ... but managing to stay in the exact same hotel where they were supposed to be taking time off ? wherever sasaengs went, paparazzi followed, and thus came the unwelcome sprouts of scandal. she's frozen in place in the small hotel boutique, slender digits absentmindedly tracing the fabric of some sweater. “ i can see them taking pictures. there's definitely two of them. we can't even pretend we're not who we are because they caught us without our mask and glasses on. ”

and then she reaches for dam - bi's wrist, fingers encircling with haste. “ let's see if we can go out the back way. i saw another exit, it might lead to one of the other stores or if we're lucky, the casino. it's more crowded there. ”

[guoman]

xu jiaqi for wonderland

[zhi8te]

lucy’s comfort snack is rice crackers, specifically this brand. she’s eaten them her entire life and has a concerningly large collection of them. she carries them wherever she goes and will be seen monching them whenever. in her pockets, hidden in various parts of rooms she frequents, everywhere. one of the most well - known ( and memey ) moments with her rice crackers was when 8TE was on their survival show, there were multiple instances of the camera finding her pulling out a small packet to nibble on them ( even in the most serious of moments ). it’s very much golum and the ring energy but with the crackers.

[zhi8te]

* / @keo8te sent : where have you been hiding ? ♤

" nowhere in particular. in a corner. in the shadows. underneath i - seul's left boob. ” this is uncharacteristic of her — lucy rarely answers a question with anything but the answer itself, but the sleep deprivation and starvation had gotten to her. not to mention the lingering stress and pressure from her home country finally cracking down on her. it hit like a thousand waves of electric jolts, a snap hitting her back until she's down on her knees with no other choice but to succumb. her muscles are sore from the forced stretches — still not flexible enough, despite their current set of dance routines not calling for anything more than a high kick. it's seven in the morning, two hours later than they all would usually start the day. but she's yet to sleep, and it shows. blink and she resembles a ghost, a broken skeleton of a tree : decaying and withering in the fall without its leaves, all skin and branches. lucy doesn't stray from the group, but when she does, she can only imagine the domino effect it sets off. she slinks over the edge of his bed, the mattress softer than the ones back at the company dorm. “ can you make some porridge ? with the egg and pork ? ” she asks this in thai, a slow grin taking over her features.

[zhi8te]

* / @mal8te sent : that’s a spatula. ♤

“ it'll still hurt like a regular whip. ” or at least she hoped it would. not that she'd know the difference. for show, she purposely slaps the end over the marble counter of the dorm kitchen, the sound practically through the space. lucy is not particularly the best to joke with, her threats always taking a turn for reality and now she's seething, stance set like a predator ready to pounce. “ it's literally ... ” head peers to the left to read the analog clock behind malee, “ four in the morning. official curfew was six hours ago. ” curfew was only a suggestion in every idol's eyes : more so a trap than anything. will you be lazy and sleep, or will you do exactly as the company expects and work yourself to the bone, while still finding a way to prevent dark circles ? she knows if she speaks any louder she would wake the rest of the members and that was another set of chaos she is not willing to sit through. it's less about malee practically breaking into their own dorm, but more about the potential backlash of what she was doing prior. lucy knows her well enough to sense it wasn't taking up space in the dance room, or even sneaking into the cafeteria. hand is outstretched in false playfulness as she gestures her to come closer, “ come here so i can hit you. ”

[crssfre]

*   ,      lu zhiruo      (   @zhi8te​ ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​   )      said  :      so what are you going to do with it

" i don't know yet . " i'm quick to raise my hand , indicating to her i need a moment : too many thoughts run through my head , and for a second i feel out of place ( the crowds chatter and laugh , the clinking of glass makes my temples ache , and though i know it isn't true , i can feel all of their eyes on us , as if we are found out - paranoia gets the better of me ) . " uh , " i snap my gaze back to her , a fake smile placed on my lips and hand placed on her shoulder with a laugh , a quick jump back into the character of juliette king . " i'll figure it out . " i raise my brow to her , play along whispered in my head . " thank you lucy , please be careful ... i don't want anyone to hurt you . " it's a striking image : me smiling and swaying my hips with a natural ease as if our conversation , like so many in the room , is surface level - compliments thrown and gossip swung , but it's far from that . it is my greatest hope that only we know that . " go back to the party ... i'll figure it out , i'll let you know before i do anything with this - i promise . stay safe . " i catch over my shoulder the flash of a camera , and turn quickly to look at the lens with my hand around her waist and smile on my cheeks - sometimes i even amaze myself with the speed at which i can find this persona . through the corner of my eyes she smiles too ... she understands .

[zhi8te]

sometimes it feels like a curse, the way she switches from being overly receptive to complete obliviousness like a swinging pendulum. it has made and broken many relationships, and it has landed her in the hot seat more times than she'd like to admit. it doesn't render her invulnerable to the practiced lies of others, but she likes to think she gets the human facade enough to clock and decipher with ease. they speak among the crowd of hundreds, with empty and shallow words, but she knows better to read between the lines. after all, it was what kept them safe. “ sure you will. and i'll just ... be pretty. maybe stomp on a few hearts. ” the sarcasm is thick in her tone, though she's certain it sounds genuine enough to the untrained ear. it baffles her, really, how well they have slipped in and out of the many masks from their armoire. impressive, yet so deeply saddening. it's their job to be change like the waves in water. she just doesn't expect the exhaustion to catch up so quickly at this point.

however, her abilities stop where the concept of danger and crime begins. this is juliette's expertise, she acknowledges. lucy could end up driving a wedge through her own back without realizing. she is far out of her depth, swarmed by hungry eyes and hidden knives and guns and whatever else. slender digits trace over crevices of her knuckles, giving her hand a slight squeeze as an unspoken reassurance. it says : i am trusting you, i will not fail. and so she reluctantly flashes an even wider smile, eyes crinkling the slightest : peak acting ! “ i'll bring you back a glass of those pretty drinks in twenty. on ... on the rocks ? that's a thing, right ? ” twenty minutes or i'm looking for you, she promises. and then she tucks a loose strand behind her ear before taking a step away and begrudgingly moving towards the sea of other seemingly glamorous invitees.

[crssfre]

*   ,      lu zhiruo      (   @zhi8te​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​   )      said  :      they have my number , it must be someone i know

" well , hold on . " i'm quick to reach out , fingers gently wrapping around her wrist with concerned evident on my features ( my brows knit and for a moment my lips purse ) . " maybe let's not pick up ... it's an unknown number , i'm not prepared to track it . " i drop my grasp and offer her the raise of a brow . lessons learned as time moves on , there's no such thing as being too careful - and that's all i try to communicate silently through my gaze . " we can go back to my apartment , i have something there that could help us figure out who it is ... i just would rather we be safe than sorry . " i'm quick to cant my head , as if to ask her to trust me , believe me . gotham is nothing to play games in , she lives , she breathes , she swallows people whole ( i would know , stuck here with no ability to leave ) . i refuse to let that happen to someone else . " i mean you could answer if you think it's fine , i just find it odd . "

[zhi8te]

“ okay ... ” the ringing itself is ominous, its presence unrelenting and unforgiving through the heavy silence shared between them. lucy doesn't admit it often, but the unknown tugs at a line within her chest and it tightens, tightens, tightens until it snaps in recoil. the number is unfamiliar but its aura reeks of the many other calls and texts she's gotten since debuting. it never gets easier, and her own curiosity never falters. but this time, she watches her thumb hover over the green answer button, gaze flickering towards juliette. she fights the urge to smash the phone over the cracked concrete, but then it'd only render her without her last form of defense in a foreign country. perhaps she shouldn't have ditched her managers, shouldn't have lied to her guards and snuck away — but she feels a semblance of safety in her current company nonetheless. anything for a taste of what she believed freedom to be. “ okay, you take it. ” she shoves the device in her direction, “ knowing me i'll probably butt - dial it back or answer it. it's happened before. ” molten optics glance around with pseudo - ease, paranoia rising as she switches to her native tongue, “ 姐, do you think we're being watched right now ? ”

[catsereiaa]

Zeng Keni

[zhi8te]

the Very Very sLIGHT smirk,,,,,,,,,,,, the dead eyes........... the power she exudes mhmmmm

[mal8te]

an original character studying the affects and consequences of the music industry and its dark secrets. highly selective with interactions, PLEASE READ RULES BEFORE FOLLOWING. adaptable to various verses. as debuted by tas.