I've been debating on how to say this, but I think I've changed my mind for the last time? So, I'll jump right into it.
I don’t foresee myself coming back to tumblr to RP, but more so to lurk and leave this blog as an archive to what once was. As you know, I study game development now, but my dream was always to be a writer - to create my own story, something I was proud of through the mediums I was given and used almost daily. of course, my novel in the works is over 300 pages long if I recall, but I want to go back and proofread the story - fine tune it a lot and make it how the little 10 or 11 year old me envisioned it playing out. Tumblr was a really great outlet to hone my skills, both writing and otherwise, for a time. But it detracted from my creative vision, as I spent more time softening my story and reworking it to make it more palatable, and then had to work back up to a sliver of the original, nitty gritty story shao has to offer. Shao’s story, in my eyes, isn’t supposed to be softened for comfort - because art is meant to be experienced in its entirety, not as a pale imitation. Which is kind of where I feel she’s at right now.
Okay, maybe I'm being a bit harsh. But I do want to make her story have weight; and by taking time off to do creative things that’ll hopefully drive that motivation up, even during university, I do believe that I can make something. Or at least have something to show for in like, five years or so.
Tumblr was a really great outlet for me when I was going through the toughest of times as a kid, young teen and younger adult. Reading other people’s writing, seeing original artworks, following my passion in writing and building up my graphic and social etiquette skills — those are a few of the things I learned that comforted me then. But as I grew up, I needed it as a coping mechanism or an outlet less and less.
And now, we’re here - at a point where I'm finally thinking to myself, “Hey; you can let go now. You don’t need this safety net anymore.”
I know it’s maybe sad? That I’m leaving? I don’t know how many people will remember me or miss me, but I’ll always miss some part of here, for what it’s worth. It’s been a huge part of my life for almost a decade and a half LMAO. I'd feel at least a little off if I didn't at least sign off on officially writing here. Of course, because this an archive for my writing and headcanons and everything else that comes with a blog, I'll still be on it. Sometimes I'll pop up when you least expect it and comment on something - or maybe life will march on, and very few of you may see me again. I'm always on discord now, though, since I use it for school and personal work; so who's to say I won't write with people in servers I already have?
Part of me also feels very oomphie because, ohhh my god, there were so many plots I wanted to do and finish. But that's fine, I have the power and creative direction to realize those, anyways. But thank you, en masse, to everyone I've ever roleplayed with - whether you knew me from my lucid dream of a multimuse, from just Shao, or even from my very obscure Andromeda Shun blog! It was a blast just talking and writing with you all on here. My discord is available to be given when asked, but if some of us don't like talk again, it's been a genuine pleasure~.
I would also want to be selfish and ask you not to unfollow this blog / softblock me; just in case I achieve my goals early and come back, haha. Not like I have anything to queue up anyways, so I won't be cluttering your dash for any reason unless Tumblr screws up on their end somehow - or unless I'm lurking and liking posts when I do. With the Tumblr hellsite being understaffed, we all may not be long for this world regardless.
Thanks for an experience; good or iffy, as all things in life tend to be. Toodles!
