Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.
Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!
My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".
The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...
tutorial !! on how to make a belt pouch from some old pants that will be able to hold a brick or two without ripping
examples: (both r about 23cm × 20cm)
start tutorial 》》
you'll need:
•old pants/shorts
•scissors
•needle and thread/sewing machine
•safety pins/sewing pins
•anything for closing, like buttons, clips or zippers
•stuff for decorating: patches, pins, studs etc.
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to start we will disassemble our pants, you will harvest from its corpse:
•two rectangles from the ass of the pants with the asspockets (the size of these rectangles decides the size of ur pouch)
•two pieces of the waistband both about 15cm in length
•a piece of fabric as wide as the other two panels, length depends on ur preference, this part will the the closing panel of the pouch
for all of these please take seam allowance into account.
hem the top edges of your back and front panel and all edges of your closing panel. i used double straight stitch on the sewing machine to match the stitching present in the pants.
now you will attach the closing panel to the outside of panel that will be the back of your pouch (see image).
you might be confused that the outside of the panel is the inside of the pants. this is because the pocket on the back panel will be on the inside of the pouch. and thus the outside of the pants become the inside of the pouch. (also you can see that the closing flap looks different from the first picture, this is because i decorated it alr. so just ignore that)
then attach your belt loops, first attach the "front of the beltloop, facing down, to the place where you also joined the closing flap and rectangle together. then fold the beltloop back and sew the other side slightly lower than the top. this will prevent it from bulking too much and pressing uncomfortably into your waist.
now place your front panel on top of your back panel, and sewing it wrong sides together. this is because we will turn it inside out after.
now turn your pouch inside out and sew along the edges to help keep its shape and keep it sturdy.
you can attach a closing to the pouch, like buttons and buttonholes, i went for a clip and loop mechanism this time. if you prefer a zipper i advise putting it in when you hem the edges at the start of the project.
and now you can decorate! if you want a tutorial on how i do/plan all that, lmk if that would be helpful or interesting in any way.
stormborns
tangentwithtanner
andulkaphoto
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
amandla
