THE USOS & SAMI ZAYN WWE RAW, April 21st, 2025

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THE USOS & SAMI ZAYN WWE RAW, April 21st, 2025
Just gonna leave this here for the memz. 2nd time meeting him, and still as nervous. HATE how I look in the picture where I’m smiling, but LOVE these. Always so kind, and so appreciative. He saw me holding the lei and as I walked up you can hear him say “is that for me?!” And automatically put his head down to accept the lei. Then he told me “thank you for this. Love.” My anxious ass told him “you can take it off if you don’t want to wear it” and walked away smiling cuz I didn’t wanna take anymore of his time. Such a special moment for me, since the last time I met him I didn’t bring him anything. I know it’s not required, and it’s not even something they expect, but I just wanted to give him something that I made. It took 2 days to make the two stranded ribbon lei, but again….worth it.
There’s something about making someone something out of love and being able to give it to them. But there’s something about making a lei and being able to place it on them that’s so special.
And just so I can look back at this in the future, the lei, with the bow and the little tag and note on the back. And me sitting in a Walmart parking lot with a cardigan covering my legs, and my black jean jacket that I painted his palm tree logo on the front and bejeweled his name logo on the back, for 3 hours in the cold/wind.
I’m currently taking a break from studying, though I have to admit: I feel as if I haven’t done much. My assessment is on Friday, and I feel like I’m still unsure about all of this.
I guess it doesn’t help that I’m home sick. All I keep saying is that I want to go home. Sometimes I feel as if the feeling is attributed by my mom being sick and a sense of helplessness towards how my family is feeling. Other times, I feel like when I say “homesick” I’m talking about the community I grew up in.
I’ll be honest, I’m pretty lonely out here. So many of the people that I love are back home. But what bothers me is that I don’t really have a “home” to come home to. Sometimes I regret joining YFC because I devoted so much of my life to serving but ended up with being “forgotten” in a sense. I was so sheltered in that type of life that coming out here has been such a struggle. From “saint” city to sin city, such a huge difference between the two. Having OLOP 15 minutes away, to having.... nothing close to OLOP near me. Life is different, it’s difficult.
But hey, God’s plan right? Maybe somewhere down the road I’ll be able to look at back at this moment in time and think to myself “that experience made me grow. I may have been miserable but I learned so much about myself and my capabilities. I’m a better person because of it”
Granted, I’m out here trying to become a nurse, so of course it’ll make me grow. But emotionally and spiritually, it’s been drying. I’m in the desert. Literally AND figuratively. But I know I’ll figure it out, and I know I’ll get through it. After all..
When you’re dry, that’s when you’re most vulnerable to be lit on fire.
Block 10 starts tomorrow and it’s supposedly the hardest block of the program. I am definitely soooo nervous because of course I want to do well and pass, but I also want to be able to take that week break and go home since I really miss my family.
My mom was diagnosed with uterine/cervical cancer in 2015. The doctors caught in early; we found out in early July 2015 and it wasn’t even considered staged yet. She got surgery on the 6th where the doctor removed some of the effected lymph nodes, and she went home the day after. She went through chemo therapy once and was okay, and by the second time she couldn’t proceed with it because she was allergic to the chemo. But the doctors said it was okay because initially they didn’t want her to go through chemo in the first place. I remember after her first round of chemo she was so weak. She couldn’t get out of bed, she was nauseous and threw up often. She barely ate, and I had to help her get out of bed, bring her to the restroom, help her lower herself onto the toilet and help her get off the toilet, walk her back to her bed, and helped her get back into bed. I bought her jamba juice so many times because that was the only thing she could tolerate. She lost her hair, and had to wear chemo caps and at one point her and my dad decided to just shave it all off because it wasn’t falling out evenly. It took awhile to grow back, but her hair texture did change afterwards. My mom went through radiation, and she stayed strong throughout the whole process. She was in remission for almost a year, and that’s when I decided to go to nursing school in Vegas. Everything was good, I was excited to start school and learn how to be independent. I was excited to make my parents proud and be able to afford to take them on vacations and buy them things that they’ve always wanted but never really bought because they sacrificed to get me and my brother through college. Life was good, I even went home for the holidays
January 2017, my brother was going on a brotherhood retreat in Tahoe and my mom went to the hospital. They didn’t want to tell me. She had been coughing and her chest was hurting; they did lab work and her blood count was low so her doctor told her to go straight to the ER. She received 2 blood transfusions, and they did a rib biopsy because they found 2 rib lesions. At this point I was back in Vegas going through my clinical rotation and couldn’t go home. My mom called me on a Friday after waiting for the biopsy results for 2 weeks while I was with my boyfriend’s sister visiting him at work when she told me the news. It was Multiple Myeloma.
Now, I’m a nursing student, but I didn’t know what that was so I was trying to keep calm. I don’t remember how the conversation went, but I remember looking up what Multiple Myeloma is and finding out what it was.....cancer. Cancer of the plasma of the white blood cells that could lead to a low RBC count. It made sense, that’s why her blood count was low. I kept looking to see if it was curable, it’s not. It’s treatable. I checked to see the survival rate. Depending on the stage it could be a few weeks to several years.
At that point I couldn’t breathe. My mom, the woman who worked her ass off to give us everything, the woman who hosted any relative without a complaint, the woman who is so humble, and so loving.... had cancer again and this time.... she could die from it. The doctors never gave us the stage, but I studied with my classmates the next day and they knew something was up. I told them what was going on, and I cried because I didn’t know when I’d be able to go home and be with her. I told them that she might not even be able to make it to our pinning ceremony in February because of whatever treatment she would need. How could she sit in an airplane to Vegas, go to a hotel in Vegas, or even sit in a room to watch her daughter walk a stage when her immune system would be down and millions of people come through this city all the time? I couldn’t concentrate on what we were studying but I have awesome classmates and they pitched in to buy me a ticket home, all I had to do was buy a ticket back to Vegas to make it to our exam the next week. So I went home. And I brought my mom to her doctors appointments to know what was going on. I went back to Vegas to take my test, and I have no idea how I passed but God definitely had my back.
I went home again in April, for the whole month where I brought my mom everyone of her doctors appointments and sat through them explaining what was going on. I watched as my mom received her chemo shots, a bone marrow biopsy, and IV medications to help strengthen her bones. I was home for a month and dreaded having to come back to Vegas cuz I’d be away from my family again.
I saw how this whole thing affected my brother and my dad. My brother distracted himself, and so did my dad. Last week I got a text from my brother telling me to call mom. I got so scared and demanded he tell me what was going on. He told me mom was feeling abandoned by my dad because he would never bring her out and she stayed at home. I told my brother to talk to my dad and I called my mom and told her to talk to my dad and let him know how she feels. My brother called me after and told me that my dad told him that he was feeling depressed because of what was going on with my mom; he felt helpless.
Now...how can I be here? I feel like I’ve abandoned my family just to pursue my studies. My brother is going to culinary school come September, and it’ll just be mom and dad at home until I come home in April. Dad’s the only one who works right now, and my mom says she’s going to go back to work. How can she? I don’t want to be the one to break it to her that this cancer, this disease is.... uncurable, only treatable. I’ve read articles of people who have been in remission for 20+ years because of all these medical advances. I can only hope it’s the same for my mom.
I’m so thankful for the friends who have been praying for her. I’m thankful for my boyfriends parents who dedicated 2,000 Hail Marys for her. I’m thankful for the masses that have been lifted up for her.
She went to the Philippines in March. She needs to live her life as much as she can before..... you know. I just can’t find it in myself to say those words. But she’s doing okay, from what I know. She’s okay, she’s still strong. She’s so strong. I just wish I could be home and be there every step of the way. I can only pray and lift everything up to God. I want her to see her kids get married, I want her to be able to meet her future grandchildren. I want her to live. I want my dad to be the husband that she deserves. I want to be the daughter that she deserves.
So sorry if I don’t hang out, or if I choose to stay home. I’m sorry if I’m not as social as I used to be because I’ve found out that there’s more to life than all of that. I came here for school so I’m gonna make sure I do well, especially for my mom. I love her so much, and I can’t imagine my life without her.
If you see this, if you read this, if you’ve stuck around this long please keep her in your prayers. Keep my dad in your prayers. Keep my brother in your prayers. And if you don’t believe in God, just send them some positive thoughts and vibes. It’s been 7 months since she’s been diagnosed, but this is a never ending struggle.
<3
Mama Mary, please pray for her.
St Peregrine, please pray for her.
All the Holy Angels and Saints, please pray for her, my dad and my brother.
2017
Why hello there Tumblr. I remembered my password to access you, and I’ve spent the last few hours looking through the 19-25 year old me. I’m 26, turning 27 and I think there’s quite a few things to update you on. And....since people RARELY (or barely) come on to this site now, I think it’s time to pick back up with the journal type entries since no one will be around to judge.
1. I moved to Vegas in October 2016. Remember when I was an OT major? Not so much anymore, I am now a nursing major & I’m half way through my program. I have an ATI exam on Mental/Community health tomorrow and start Block 10: Adult Health II on Monday, which is THE hardest block of the program.
2. I’m no longer in CFC-Y. One because I’m obviously too old to be in a youth group, and two because everything comes around full circle. I started YFC knowing that a lot of people didn’t like me but I kept pushing because I didn’t care. I wanted to know God, and I was so hungry, so thirsty for Him back in the day. I stepped down as cluster head in 2013, but was still helping out. When I started working in 2015 I forreal took a back seat and only came around when needed/when I had time. Come 2016, I used my last weekend of being in NorCal to help my area serve and ended up leaving Saturday night because I was so hurt and so heart broken by what people were saying about me. These were the people I led, who I served, who I sacrificed so much of my life for talking crap about me at camp, and saying they were *this* close to making me leave the venue. After having a meeting with the camp leaders, cluster head and cocos, I realized that just needed to leave and leave everyone behind. The place that provided me protection, safety, growth, forgiveness, and love was no longer that place and I had to move forward. I guess knowing that I was moving to Vegas helped with leaving, but it definitely did not help with healing because to this day, I’m still hurt & heart broken.
3. Justin & I are about to hit 3 years in 13 days. Longest relationship ever.
4. This past weekend I served at the youth conference they held at UNLV and was brought back to my days as a youth. I did however hang out with the transitioners, and it felt as if I was back in the day. It defintiely felt like a breath of fresh air.
5. I’ve realized that I’ve been struggling with feeling like I’m a burden, than I’m unwanted, uncared for, or just plain old worthless. I’ve actually realized that i’ve been struggling with that my whole life, and that’s what I’ve based almost every decision I’ve made on those feelings. I’m working on it, but I’ve had a few break downs and anxiety attacks because of it.
&& I think that’s all for now. I just did my nails so I’m getting annoyed of how I have to type with these stupid things on. LOL, but hey, at least I have access to you again, which means I’ll be using you more often. <3
She had wild eyes, slightly insane. She also carried an overload of compassion that was real enough and which obviously cost her something.
Charles Bukowski (via dearyesterdays)
You know you’re on the right path when your desire to give up is overshadowed by your patience to persevere.
Dau Voire (via kushandwizdom)
The tongue has no bones, but can break a heart.
Ed Sheeran. (via itcuddles)
The glow that the sun gives right around the sunset helps me realize this is just a journey, drop your worries. Things are gonna turn out fine. ❤️🙏🏽
Dóminus técum 🙏🏽❤️
It all boils down to this.
Most people won’t admit it, or don’t even realize it, but
caring for people takes energy out of you.
Investing your time and attention making sure somebody knows
that you love them and that you want to ensure their well-being can drain you:
mentally
emotionally
spiritually
even physically.
Love people, but take care of yourself.
Don’t burn yourself out.
Healing is an art. It takes time, it takes practice. It takes love.
Pavana पवन (via maza-dohta)
It’s nice being appreciated. It’s even better being loved.
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More Good Quotes here
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THIS IS SO CUTE
No matter how much the truth hurts, it’s always better than being lied to
(via itcuddles)
My hope is in Him.
you don’t miss people at two am, you’re alone at two am. you miss people at two pm. you miss someone when you’re surrounded by people and all you can think about is them.
my thoughts at two (via fawun)
Fuck this is a wake up call
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