zonex

I bite

[zonexqx]

Welcome to my blog 🪽

I speak on anything of importance to me but my actual ranting blog is @zonexxqx

[zonexqx]

I want someone to crave me in such a way that I have to remind myself that he too possesses morals. I need somene who will go to any extent to express their love for me. On top of that, I want someone to be so in love with me that they do nothing but admire me. Though, true admiration and love isn’t pretending that I am incapable of wrongdoings. It is accepting me inspite of my quirks and flaws.

[zonexqx]

Everything I near becomes infested with me. My surroundings take on a sweet scent with notes of vanilla. My social network assumes the vocabulary I use. Everything I touch can feel through my skin, unto my internal landscape.

[zonexqx]

Nobody understands the exhaustion of trying to stay ahead. Sometimes I feel like it’s not even worth it and that I am wasting years of my youth. However, I can’t quit this far in- if I do, then it would all be for nothing. I constantly need that pressure to feel motivated enough to push myself. I can’t just be better. I have to be the best.

[zonexqx]

One unrequited love destroyed my whole perception of love, and it was never about a boy. I gave so much of myself, only to never feel truth in our father-daughter relationship. That little girl learned to give up wishing for him to make an attempt at having a bond. His self-absorption resulted in realizing her lack of faith in him too late. Now what’s left of it? An angry man and girl who still craves affection but is so uncomfortable by the concept of it. It’s something so unnatural. A loving mother kept her afloat but could not heal that missing piece she needed to understand how simple love could be.

[zonexqx]

Don’t ask me about myself if you do not want to hear me speculate on why I am the way I am. I can tell you so much and let you into my mind. My only concern is that you will not be able to handle what I think of myself and others. And, no. Unfortunately, very little you say can change my ideology about these psychosocial interactions.

[zonexqx]

No, I don’t want to have to change myself for a man. However, that does not mean that love is not change. In being loved you change in ways that are unimaginable. You even begin to start loving yourself.

[zonexqx]

My favorite love language is the art of noticing.

To have my s/o know that my feet are always cold and put them in between his thighs so that they stay warm, is beyond a dream. Or for him to keep tabs on the things I mention, even if I only mentioned it once.

Maybe it is this way because my father never gave me this, or never seemed to know me. Maybe this is even why I am so scared of being perceived.

[zonexqx]

My grandparents, circa 1971

[zonexqx]

I want to be loved so obviously transparent. I wish someone realized that the hair framing my face grows blonde from every time they have pushed it to the side. I wish they stopped offering to go out for dinner and acknowledge that I prefer home cooked meals, given that there is someone who I can share my cooking with. I wish that they show me so much attention to the point where I don’t even have to question if they love me.

[zonexqx]

I love intellectual men who teach me without making me feel stupid. Especially when they’re nerdy and have cute interests they get excited over. Like awww, lets have a cognitively stimulating conversation and makeout.

[zonexqx]

I have such high standards because I cant pull away once I get attached; I rarely love but when I do, I love hard.

[zonexqx]

If you don’t praise me you’re basically saying you hate me.

[zonexqx]

Make me repeat that I’m yours while I’m cumming otherwise I might forget.

Be possesive over me and claim me how you want. Take me any way and make me remember to be a good girl for you, otherwise I won’t get what I want.

[zonexqx]

I hear compliments all the time, yet I don’t believe them. To show me that you love me, don’t just give me compliments. Be present and show me that you remember the little things about me. Observe me, as I go about my daily routines, and learn my patterns. Take your time with me and show me that your devoted. Even if your not gentle with me- I am still able to learn to trust your words and actions.

[zonexqx]

Being a masochistic brat is so fun because what are you going to do about my attitude? Punish me? I’ll like it.

[zonexqx]