Finally another ranked episode!! Sorry it's taken so long!! Hopefully I can get back on track with these!!! Any who, today's episode is "Educating Ethan". This episode isn't particularly bad..... just a little boring. Now I'm gonna be honest, Lizzie McGuire is my absolute favorite show of all time. I may have my personal faves but I do not hate any episode of the series, so choosing my lowest ranked ones was pretty difficult. But I did my best!!
ALSO getting the screencaps from youtube was a huge pain so you can suffer through these horrible screencaps I took with my phone. Maybe it will make it funnier.
WELL HERE WE GO
The episode starts with Gordo doing some kind of Barrett Jackson impersonation by trying to auction off his lunch. Turns out it's his new tactic for trying to earn money for a new stereo. (how 2001 is that?) Miranda suggests Gordo just get his parents to buy him a new stereo (as you do) but to Gordo's misfortune his parents want him to "earn the money" himself. Gordo then explains to Lizzie & Miranda how long it will take him to earn the money & starts throwing around a bunch of math that I do not understand.
Lizzie suggests instead of doing this ridiculous lunch auction that Gordo tutor math because tons of people at school could use the help. (apparently everyone at Hillridge is just as stupid as I am when it comes to math) Gordo takes Lizzie's advice & decides to venture into the magical world of tutoring my fellow mathematical idiots.
*CUTS TO THEME SONG IF YOU BELIEEEEVVEE WE GOT A PICTURE PERFECT PLAAAAN*
AND WE ARE BACK
Now in class, Lizzie asks Gordo how many people signed up for his tutoring which of course is 0. He then shows Lizzie his flyer for tutoring which looks like this...(how unfortunate)
Apparently the one thing Gordo sucks at is having decent handwriting because neither Lizzie nor Miranda can even read what it says. They proceed to ask "who in the right mind could read this?" and in walks Ethan Craft because of course....
He asks Gordo if the flyer is his & if he tutors math to which Gordo replies "yes". Ethan then shows Gordo one of his math papers which looks exactly like my math papers did in high school.....a big sad fail.
Lizzie & Miranda naturally want Gordo to tutor Ethan because it means they would get to spend time with him. Gordo mentions that Ethan got a 11 out of a 100 on a test & I swear I've never related to Ethan so much in my life.
We have reached the Matt storyline of the episode. We see Matt & his friend (that's not Lanny) sitting in the floor surrounded by toys & complaining about how bored they are. (oh to be a kid, I wish I could be that bored again) Sam & Jo walk in & suggest that Matt & his buddy (whose name is Oscar) try to help out around the neighborhood. Matt says that he & Oscar can totally do that but as superheroes. Obviously you should of known Matt wasn't gonna do something so basic & normal, he has to make it weird.
Back to Lizzie, we get to witness one of the infamous & many 3 way calling scenes between Lizzie, Miranda & Gordo. (again, so very 2001) Lizzie & Miranda are talking about how hot Ethan Craft is while poor Gordo is just awkwardly there listening & playing with a hacky sack. (very 2001 again) Gordo then finds his way out of the convo by telling them he has to go tutor Ethan causing Lizzie & Miranda to squeal with teenage joy. After hanging up with Gordo the girls decide to follow him to the Digital Bean in order to see Ethan.
In Matt's world, he & Oscar reveal their superhero costumes which look like this
They have decided to go by the names "Matt Man" & "Incredible Oscar".(Superman & Hulk ain't got nothing on this) They head off to "fight the forces of evil" & THEN we get this incredible musical sequence featuring the Matt Man & Incredible Oscar logo which is truly art at its finest. Unfortunately, their "help" turns out to be more harm than good.
Flashback to Lizzie & Miranda who have found their way to the Digital Bean. They try to find ways to get Ethan's attention which include asking about pencils, ordering drinks for Gordo & Ethan and pushing their table closer to them. Gordo is clearly getting extremely annoyed by all of this but Ethan is as chill as always. Gordo starts griping at Lizzie & Miranda for messing with his tutoring session. When Miranda & Lizzie tell him they were just trying to help him he laughs & remarks that "if he needed to go shopping then he would ask for their help". (THE SHADE) This does not sit well with Lizzie & Miranda. The girls storm off sarcastically stating that they are "not smart enough to hangout with Gordo" all while Ethan returns back to the table still chill as ever.
Matt & Oscar are continuing their havoc as superheroes throughout the neighborhood. Neither of them seems to understand that they haven't helped anyone at all.
The next day at school, it's lunchtime & Gordo is sitting at one table tutoring Ethan while Lizzie & Miranda are sitting at another. Miranda comments that Gordo is a know it all & basically "called them dumb". Lizzie on the other hand feels bad that they ruined his tutoring session with Ethan. Lizzie suggests that they try to makeup with Gordo so Miranda tells her to go over & talk to him. She walks over & offers help to Gordo & Ethan...Gordo declines but Ethan believes he needs all the help he can get (in more ways than one my friend, ya'll just wait till we get to that “lather, rinse, repeat” episode later on)
Ethan is trying to learn how to divide fractions, which is still something I, a 24 year old adult cannot do nor understand. Lizzie tells Ethan he should try imagining that the numbers are something real such as a hair scrunchie. (remember those?) She asks the cafeteria for hair scrunchies but nobody listens until she says it's Ethan who needs them. She then starts explaining fractions by using the hair scrunchies while Gordo is once again becoming irritated. (All this math talk gives me a headache) Ethan understands Lizzie's way of doing math better than Gordo's & suggests she start tutoring him instead.
Flash to the Digital Bean once again, Lizzie reveals that she declined Ethan's offer to have her tutor him in math. Lizzie says she couldn't do that to Gordo because of how seriously he takes his tutoring. Miranda reminds her that Gordo has been acting like a jerk lately but Lizzie still wants to apologize to him for the way they acted the other day. Gordo walks in & tells the girls that they owe him an apology, Miranda tells him that he is actually the one that owes them an apology. Gordo tells them that they shouldn't have used him to get to Ethan Craft & if they want to talk to him they should do it themselves.
Back at the McGuire household Sam & Jo are scolding Matt & Oscar for their "crime fighting" after getting several complaints from people. They tell the boys they can only fight crime in the house which gives the boys the idea to create a villain in the house that they can save the family from.
Back at the Hillridge Jr High, cool teacher Mister Dig is the sub for Lizzie's class that day & reveals he doesn't believe in the basic teacher stuff....(pop quizzes, tests, exams, etc)...the class applauds until Mister Dig states that unfortunately he's not their regular teacher & that they have to take their math quiz. (you know who would fail that quiz? ME) After class, Lizzie & Miranda are outside the classroom throwing shade at Gordo for calling them dumb. Ethan walks up & reveals that he once again failed his quiz & Gordo is in disbelief.
Mister Dig comes out & talks to them while Ethan makes an idiot comment to which Mister Dig replies "it's a good thing you're a handsome boy". He tells Ethan he can retake his quiz again tomorrow. Gordo tells Ethan they'll work on it again but Ethan says he wants Lizzie to tutor him instead because he understood the way she explained things. Gordo makes a snarky comment & this time Lizzie accepts but still feels bad about the whole situation.
In the McGuire house, Lizzie can't find the shoes she wants to wear & tells her parents that every pair of shoes she owns has gone missing. Enter Matt & Oscar who we all clearly knew are behind this. They say that Lizzie's missing shoes are the work of "The Evil Shoe Barron". Lizzie clearly doesn't find this amusing & demands her stuff be returned. Jo tells Matt that if the Evil Shoe Barron doesn't return Lizzie's shoes he would be spending all his time in the fortress of solitude causing Matt to race off. He returns all of Lizzie's shoes but not without reading a note that the Shoe Barron left first. Jo tells the boys that there will be no more superhero work in or outside the house.
At everyone's fave hangout spot The Digital Bean, Lizzie starts her tutoring session with Ethan by using jellybeans but he says he doesn't get it with jellybeans & suggest they use cheerleaders instead. (as you do) As soon as Lizzie announces that Ethan needs cheerleaders they all gather faster than diarrhea. Lizzie starts doing fractions using the cheerleaders & Ethan instantly starts getting it! Lizzie however is disappointed that Ethan's attention has turned away from her & steered toward the cheerleaders.
The next day at school Lizzie & Miranda are anxiously waiting by the door for Ethan to finish his make up quiz. Miranda tells Lizzie that Ethan will do fine because he had a great tutor, Gordo walks up & agrees. Miranda tells Gordo he shouldn't be talking to them because it's "against the brainiac code". Gordo apologizes & says the one thing every girl wants to hear "I was wrong". He tells them that he's the one who should feel stupid because he acted like a total jerk. Lizzie apologizes for taking away Gordo's only student & Miranda apologizes for making Gordo feel like they were using him to get to Ethan.
All is resolved just as Ethan walks out & reveals that he aced the quiz with a 72, which is still better than my math grades. Ethan tells Lizzie she rocks & gives her a hug. Miranda asks Gordo how he's gonna get the money for his new stereo now & Gordo replies that he's gonna spend all his free time at Lizzie's house listening to her stereo. (this really dates this show ya'll) They all laugh & thus ends another episode.
Well that was fun! Hope everyone enjoyed! Which episode do you think I'll do next? I'll try to do another one this upcoming weekend so stay tuned!! Also, I know my screencaps suck so I’m gonna try to find an easier way to do them Please bear with me! :)