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k! — 19 she/her
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𖠳 ᐝ ꕀ
k! — 19 she/her
en-nct ult. mlist!
if you'd like recs, feel free to visit my side blog jaemrecs or search for your idol or “06hee recs” within my page using the search bar by my header ᵕ̈
ੈ♡ thanks for stopping by!
user error
pairing: nerd!jake x reader
genre: college au, eventual simp x simp dynamic, smut, slow burn
synopsis: getting partnered with jake, the tall awkward nerd from on of your computer science classes, should've been simple—work on the project, get your grade, move on. except now you're completely obsessed with him and he's totally clueless about it. between tutoring sessions you definitely don't need and "coincidental" dorm hall run-ins, you're pulling out all the stops. too bad jake's more interested in his textbooks than your very obvious flirting.
you've never been rejected before, so this should be fine. …right?
warnings (MDNI 18+ only!!) : smut (oral sex(f. and m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, size difference, big dick!jake, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, pussy drunk!jake, dry humping, heavy makeout, whiny!jake), cursing, mild alcohol use, emotional manipulation, jealousy, themes of insecurity, angst, lots computer science related terms(i kind of geeked out here), reader's kind of delulu and a jerk
note: i'm back to my writing style for lighthearted fics for this one hehe. i lovelovelove nerdy shy men tropes sooo much. i did try to keep it a little realistic though. i hope you like this! enjoyyy
word count: 21.8k
taglist | more works!
you were alone in the computer science lab at nearly midnight, which wasn't unusual. assignments had a way of turning the building into a second home. but tonight felt wrong. everything felt too much. the lights buzzed too loud, drilling into your skull with that persistent electrical hum. your eyes burned from staring at your screen for four hours straight, vision going fuzzy at the edges. somewhere around hour three, you'd stopped actually processing code and started just staring through it.
your cold coffee sat forgotten beside your laptop, abandoned but still somehow necessary because the alternative was admitting defeat and going back to your dorm where your roommate and her boyfriend were probably still taking up the entire common space. you'd rather deal with this. the overstimulation. the way every tiny sound felt amplified in the empty lab. the aggressive brightness of your laptop screen. the uncomfortable pressure building behind your eyes that meant you were about to either cry or throw your laptop across the room. probably both.
your code wasn't working. hadn't been working for two days, and you'd tried everything. every forum suggestion, every stack overflow solution, every pathetic office hours visit where you'd explained your problem three times and still left confused. the cursor blinked at you on line two thousand and forty seven, mocking. the compiler kept throwing errors you didn't understand, and you'd rewritten that function six times already. your hands shook slightly from too much caffeine and not enough food. that tight, hot feeling crept up your throat. the one that signalled imminent breakdown.
you pressed your palms against your eyes until you saw spots, trying to reset something in your overwhelmed nervous system. didn't work. nothing worked tonight.
the silence in the lab was the worst part, it was so quiet that it made you hyper-aware of your own breathing, your heartbeat, the small wet sound your tongue made against the roof of your mouth when you swallowed. you hated it.
then suddenly, the power cut out. total darkness that swallowed everything in an instant, your laptop screen going black, even the emergency exit signs disappearing. your heart kicked into overdrive, adrenaline flooding so fast you felt dizzy. you reached out instinctively for your laptop, fingers scrabbling across the desk, needing to confirm it was still there, that everything you'd been working on wasn't just gone.
suddenly you heard footsteps. someone else was in the lab. you hadn't known anyone else was here. the realisation sent fear spiking through your chest because you'd been so certain you were alone. now there was someone moving closer, footsteps uneven and hurried like they couldn't see any better than you. you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could form words there was sudden pressure against your shoulder, hard and unexpected, and then there was the splash of cold liquid, spreading across your lap and chest.
your coffee. the cup tipped and spilt, liquid soaking through your jeans, spreading sticky and uncomfortable across your thighs. panic hit first, pure and primal, because for a split second all you could think was laptop, everything's gone, hours of work, my entire project. your hands flew out in the darkness, patting frantically at the desk, trying to assess the damage. your chest was so tight you couldn't get a full breath.
then came the anger. fast and hot and overwhelming, rising from somewhere deep in your stomach. you wanted to scream. wanted to grab whoever crashed into you and shake them. wanted to cry from sheer frustration because this was exactly what you didn't need tonight, not when you were already hanging on by a thread.
"oh my god, oh my god, i'm so sorry, i didn't see you, i didn't think anyone else was here, i'm so sorry." the voice came rapid-fire from somewhere to your left. male, young, pitched higher than normal with genuine distress.
he kept apologising, words tumbling over each other, and there was something in his tone that didn't sound rehearsed. he sounded actually afraid, like he'd just committed some unforgivable sin.
"i didn't mean to, i couldn't see, the power just went out and i was trying to get to the door and i'm so sorry, did it get on your laptop? please tell me it didn't get on your laptop."
you took a breath, trying to force words past the tightness in your throat, trying to formulate some response that matched the fury still coursing through your veins. your mouth opened, something sharp and cutting right on the edge of your tongue.
the emergency lighting kicked in. not much, just pale green strips along the baseboards casting everything in eerie, insufficient glow. enough to see by. enough to make out shapes, faces.
the guy who'd run into you stood about two feet away, and the first thing you noticed was his hands. hovering in the air between you, trembling visibly even in the dim light, fingers spread like he wanted to help but didn't dare touch anything. he was tall and lean, dark hair stuck up in odd directions like he'd been running his hands through it repeatedly. glasses had slipped down his nose, and behind them his eyes were wide. genuinely panicked in a way that didn't feel performed at all.
"your laptop," he said, voice still shaking with that same desperate concern. "what model is it? did the coffee get on it? the keyboard is the main concern, if liquid got into the keyboard we need to shut it down immediately and flip it over to drain, we need to know if you had everything backed up."
he was already moving closer, trembling hands reaching toward your desk, and you realised with a start that he hadn't even looked at you properly yet. his entire focus was on your laptop. on the problem he'd created. on fixing it.
"it's fine," you managed, voice coming out rougher than intended. you looked down at your computer. sitting safely to the right of where your coffee had been, completely dry and unharmed. "it didn't get on it."
the relief that washed over his face was so profound you almost felt embarrassed witnessing it. his shoulders sagged. his hands finally dropped to his sides. he let out a long, shaky breath like he'd been holding it since the collision.
"okay. okay, that's good, that's really good." then, almost as an afterthought, his eyes finally moved to actually look at you. taking in your coffee-soaked lap, your tense posture, your expression which you were sure wasn't friendly. "are you okay? did you get burned? that coffee looked hot, if it was hot we should get you to a sink, run cold water on it."
"it was cold," you said. true, but didn't make the situation better. your jeans were soaked through, fabric clinging uncomfortably to your skin, coffee starting to seep into your chair. you were sticky and irritated and still running on too much adrenaline. but he looked so genuinely distressed that some of your anger started deflating despite yourself.
"cold coffee is still a problem," he said, already pulling his backpack off his shoulder, unzipping it with fumbling fingers. "the sugar content means it'll get sticky when it dries, and it can stain, especially on lighter fabrics. i have napkins, i think, or maybe paper towels, i definitely have something."
he was rummaging through his bag now, pulling out crumpled papers, a graphing calculator, several pens, tangled earbuds, talking the entire time in that same rapid, anxious way.
"i'm really sorry, i should have been more careful, i knew the power was out, i should have used my phone flashlight, i just thought i knew the layout well enough to navigate in the dark but obviously i was wrong."
you watched him. something uncomfortable shifted in your chest. you'd been prepared to snap at him, to unleash all your accumulated frustration on whoever had been careless enough to run into you. but he wasn't making excuses. wasn't trying to minimise what he'd done or deflect blame or make some joke to lighten the mood. he was just genuinely, almost painfully concerned about the problem he'd created. the way he kept apologising, kept trying to fix things, made it very hard to stay angry.
"here," he said triumphantly, producing a small pack of tissues from the bottom of his bag. he held them out, then seemed to realise how inadequate they were and let out a frustrated sound. "these aren't going to be enough. we should go to the bathroom, get some actual paper towels. or maybe the kitchen area on the second floor, they have those industrial dispensers that are way more absorbent."
he paused, finally seeming to register that you hadn't moved, that you were just sitting there watching him. his ears went red, visible even in the dim green emergency lighting. "sorry, i'm sorry, i'm doing it again. my sister always tells me i go into problem-solving mode when i'm anxious and it makes people feel like i'm not actually listening to them. are you okay? like, actually okay, not just physically okay?"
the question caught you off guard. nobody had asked you that in days. maybe weeks. everyone just assumed you were fine because you were handling things, meeting deadlines, showing up to class. but this stranger who'd just spilt coffee all over you was looking at you with genuine concern, waiting for a real answer. something in your chest felt suddenly too tight.
"i'm fine," you said, softer than intended. you took the tissues from him, dabbing uselessly at your jeans. he was right. they weren't nearly enough. but the gesture felt important somehow. "it's been a long night."
"assignments?" he asked. when you nodded he made a sympathetic noise. "yeah, same. i've been here since six. had a project deadline at midnight but then the power went out fifteen minutes before and now i don't know if my submission went through because the wifi died with the electricity." he pushed his glasses up his nose. nervous gesture you got the impression he did frequently.
"i'm jake, by the way. jake sim. i feel like i should probably introduce myself since i just, like, assaulted you with your own beverage."
despite everything, ruined jeans and exhaustion and broken code, you felt the corner of your mouth twitch. not quite a smile, but close. "assaulted me with my own beverage?"
"well, yeah," he said, looking vaguely embarrassed. "i mean, i weaponised your coffee against you. that's technically assault, right? or maybe battery? i always get those mixed up. my roommate's a poli-sci major, he'd know."
he was rambling now, words spilling out in that same anxious rush, and there was something almost endearing about how completely lacking in artifice it was. he wasn't trying to be charming. wasn't trying to be funny. just genuinely nervous and dealing with it by talking too much.
you told him your name. he repeated it carefully, like he was committing it to memory. "i really am sorry," he said again, quieter this time. "what were you working on? before i interrupted?"
"data structures project," you said. just thinking about it made your shoulders tense again. "it's due tomorrow and there's a bug i can't figure out and i've been staring at it for hours."
his eyes lit up behind his glasses, spark of interest that transformed his whole face. "what kind of bug? runtime error? logic error? is it a pointer issue? those are always the worst, especially with linked lists."
he was already moving closer to your laptop, stopping himself at the last second like he'd realised he was being presumptuous. "sorry, i mean, i could take a look if you want? i'm pretty good with data structures. it's kind of my thing. i'm a TA for comp 201 actually, so i see a lot of common bugs. but also totally no pressure, i know i just dumped coffee on you so you probably don't want my help."
you should have said no. didn't know this guy, didn't owe him anything. you'd been managing just fine on your own. except you hadn't been managing fine. you'd been on the verge of a breakdown in an empty lab at midnight. now here was this nervous, rambling stranger offering help without expecting anything in return, looking at you like your problem was genuinely important to him.
it was disorienting. how quickly your anger had evaporated, replaced by something you couldn't quite name. you found yourself noticing details you shouldn't care about. the way he kept pushing his glasses up. the way his hands had finally stopped shaking now that he had something concrete to focus on.
"okay," you heard yourself say. his whole face brightened in a way that made something flutter uncomfortably in your stomach. "yeah, if you don't mind looking at it."
"i don't mind at all," he said quickly, already pulling up a chair. he left careful distance between you though, hyper-aware of not invading your space again. "show me what you've got."
you turned your laptop toward him. he leaned in, eyes scanning the lines with immediate focus. his expression shifted into something concentrated, intense. this was probably what he looked like when he wasn't tripping over people in the dark and panicking about it. he started asking questions about your implementation, your logic, what you'd already tried. his voice had lost that nervous edge. this was clearly where he was comfortable. in the clean logic of code, in problems that had solutions.
you answered his questions. watched as he nodded, occasionally pushing his glasses up, finger tracing lines of code on the screen without quite touching it. the emergency lighting cast strange shadows across his face, highlighting his cheekbones, the strong line of his jaw, the way his brow furrowed in concentration.
you were noticing things you shouldn't notice. but you told yourself it wasn't because you found him attractive. you were just paying attention because he was helping. because he'd disrupted your solitary misery and replaced it with something else. something that felt almost like companionship.
"there," he said suddenly, pointing to a line in the middle of your function. "you're incrementing the counter before you check the condition, but you need to check the condition first. it's causing an off-by-one error. see? you're accessing index n when your array only goes up to n minus one."
you stared at the line he was indicating. slowly, horribly, you realised he was right. such a simple mistake, the kind of thing you should have caught hours ago. but you'd been too tired, too frustrated, too deep in your own head to see it. "oh my god," you said quietly. "that's it. that's the whole problem."
"easy fix," jake said, smiling now. a real smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. "just move that line down two spaces and add the conditional check first. you want me to...?" he gestured at your keyboard, asking permission. you nodded, watched as he made the adjustment with quick, confident keystrokes. "there. try running it now."
you hit compile, holding your breath. for the first time in two days the program ran without errors. the output printed exactly the way it was supposed to. clean and correct and perfect. relief flooded through you so intensely you felt dizzy with it, all the tension you'd been carrying suddenly releasing at once. "thank you," you said, voice more emotional than intended. "seriously, thank you, i've been losing my mind over this."
"it happens to everyone," jake said gently. "sometimes you just need fresh eyes. i've definitely been there." he leaned back in his chair, that nervous energy returning now that the immediate problem was solved. "your code is really clean, by the way. like, really well-structured. that bug was literally the only issue, everything else is solid."
the compliment settled warm in your chest. you realised with a start that you felt calm. actually calm, for the first time all night. your heart rate had slowed. your hands were steady. the overwhelming pressure behind your eyes had eased.
the lab was still too quiet, the emergency lighting still eerie and insufficient, your jeans still soaked with cold coffee. but somehow none of it felt as unbearable as it had fifteen minutes ago. and that was because of him. because jake had crashed into you in the dark and apologised too much and fixed your code and made you feel less alone in this empty building at midnight.
jake was gathering his things, shoving papers and pens back into his backpack with the same energy he'd had while searching for tissues. "i should probably try to find someone about the power situation," he said. "and you should probably change before that coffee stains permanently. there's a campus store in the student centre that's open twenty-four hours, they have overpriced sweatpants but at least they're dry."
"yeah," you said, surprised to find you didn't want him to leave yet. "yeah, i probably should."
he stood up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder, and hesitated. "hey, um. if you ever need help with code stuff again, or if you just want to work in the lab at the same time, i'm here most nights. usually not spilling beverages on people, but, you know. tonight was special." he smiled awkwardly. you found yourself smiling back, a real smile this time.
"i might take you up on that," you said. meant it.
jake's expression brightened again. that same transformation you'd noticed earlier. he nodded. "cool. yeah, that would be cool. okay. i'm gonna go now before i accidentally break something else." he gave you a small wave, started toward the door, then turned back. "your code really is good, by the way. i wasn't just saying that."
then he was gone, disappearing into the dark hallway beyond the lab. you were alone again. but that realisation, that awareness that a stranger's clumsy kindness had affected you so much, sat uncomfortable and warm in your chest as you saved your work and finally, finally, packed up to leave.
you walked into your lecture the next morning running on four hours of sleep and caffeine-induced alertness that felt vaguely hallucinogenic. your jeans from last night were balled up in your laundry basket, probably stained beyond saving, and you'd thrown on the first clean thing you could find.
you slid into your usual spot next to yunjin, who was already comparing notes with beomgyu across the aisle. they were your people. your safe zone. the ones you'd suffered through intro courses with, pulled all-nighters with, shared desperate pre-exam breakdowns with.
"you look like death," yunjin said cheerfully, not looking up from her phone.
"thanks. love you too."
"late night?" beomgyu leaned over, stealing one of yunjin's chips. "you missed the group chat meltdown about the algorithms homework."
you hummed noncommittally, pulling out your laptop. your code from last night was still open, that perfect, error-free output staring back at you. you'd submitted it at 12:47 am, seventeen minutes after jake had fixed it. seventeen minutes after he'd disappeared down that dark hallway.
you hadn't told yunjin and beomgyu about any of it. the power outage, the coffee, jake. especially jake. it felt somehow private, like explaining it would cheapen it or make it feel less significant than it had been in the moment.
professor kim walked in, and the room settled into that particular brand of restless attention that morning lectures always had. "alright, alright," she said, pulling up a slide that made half the room groan in unison. "i know you're all thrilled to hear this, but it's time to discuss your semester-long project."
chairs scraped against floors as people twisted around to look at their friends. voices overlapped, people already calling out names, forming pairs out of habit and convenience. you felt yunjin's hand on your arm at the same time beomgyu leaned over.
"partners?" yunjin said.
"obviously we're doing a group," beomgyu added. "the three of us, right?"
you nodded, half-listening, your attention already drifting across the lecture hall. you weren't sure what you were looking for until you found it. him. jake was sitting near the back with a small group of guys you vaguely recognised from other cs classes. he was hunched slightly over his notebook, pen moving across the page, taking notes while everyone else was busy forming alliances. his hair was even messier today, sticking up on one side like he'd rolled out of bed. his glasses kept sliding down his nose and he kept pushing them back up with his index finger, that same nervous gesture from last night.
he looked small somehow, despite being tall. like he was trying to take up less space. one of his friends said something and laughed, nudging jake's shoulder, but jake just smiled politely without really engaging. his attention stayed on his notebook.
you watched him for a moment longer than necessary. watched the way his shoulders curved inward, the way he held his pen, the concentrated furrow of his brow. something in your chest did an uncomfortable little flip.
"so we're agreed then?" yunjin was saying. "i'll handle the frontend, beomgyu can do the database stuff, and you can—"
you stood up. the decision happened before you'd fully processed it, your body moving on instinct or impulse or something you didn't want to examine too closely. your chair scraped loud enough that a few people glanced over.
"actually," you said, already stepping past beomgyu into the aisle. "i'm gonna partner with someone else."
"what?" yunjin's voice pitched up in genuine confusion. "who?"
but you were already walking. moving up the steps toward the back of the lecture hall, weaving between people who were still negotiating partnerships and arguing about skill distributions. you were aware of people watching. of yunjin and beomgyu's matching expressions of confusion. of the way conversations paused as you passed.
jake's friends noticed you first. one of them, a guy with bleached hair, nudged jake's arm and nodded in your direction. another one went quiet mid-sentence, eyes tracking your approach with unconcealed curiosity. jake looked up last, following their gazes, and when his eyes met yours he froze. actually froze, pen suspended over his notebook, lips slightly parted like he'd been about to say something and forgotten how.
you stopped at the edge of their row. suddenly hyperaware of how many people were definitely watching this interaction. "hey," you said, aiming for casual and landing somewhere near awkward. "you have a partner yet?"
jake blinked. once, twice. his friends were staring at him now, then at you, then back at him like they were watching a tennis match. "i—what?"
"for the project," you clarified, gesturing vaguely at professor kim who was still explaining requirements at the front of the room. "do you have a partner?"
"i—" jake's hand came up to push his glasses up his nose even though they hadn't moved. his ears were already turning red. "no? i mean, no, i don't, but—" he glanced at his friends, then back at you, looking genuinely lost. "are you—do you mean—"
"i'm asking if you want to partner up," you said, more directly this time. your heart was doing something weird and arrhythmic in your chest. "for the semester project."
the guy with bleached hair made a noise that might have been a strangled laugh. another one of jake's friends just gaped openly. jake himself looked like you'd just spoken to him in a language he only half understood. "you want to—with me?"
"yeah."
"but—" he gestured helplessly toward where yunjin and beomgyu were sitting, both of them now watching with unconcealed shock. "don't you usually work with your friends? i thought—"
"i'm asking you," you said, cutting him off before he could talk himself out of it or before you could overthink what you were doing. "if you already have other plans it's fine, i just thought—" you paused, scrambling for justification that didn't sound insane. "you're good at this stuff. you're a TA. you knew exactly what was wrong with my code last night in like, five seconds. it makes sense. strategically."
strategically. god, you sounded unhinged.
jake stared at you. his friends stared at you. half the lecture hall was probably staring at you at this point. "i—" jake swallowed visibly. "yeah. yes. i mean, if you want to, then—yeah. okay."
"yeah?"
"yeah." he nodded, more firmly this time, though he still looked vaguely shell-shocked. "we can—yeah. that would be—yeah."
his friends exchanged glances that were absolutely loaded with unspoken communication. the bleached hair guy, jungwon you think, was grinning now, looking between you and jake like he'd just witnessed something phenomenal. "well," he said, voice thick with amusement, "this is interesting."
you ignored him. "cool. we should probably meet up sometime this week to go over the requirements?"
"yeah, definitely," jake said quickly, already pulling out his phone with hands that trembled slightly. "i can—do you want my number? or i can get yours, or—we could use email if that's easier—"
"number's fine." you rattled it off, watching him type it into his contacts with endearing focus, tongue poking slightly between his teeth. when he looked up his expression was softer, less panicked. almost shy.
"okay," he said. "i'll text you?"
"sounds good."
you turned to head back down to your seat, acutely aware of the weight of multiple stares following your retreat. yunjin grabbed your arm the second you sat down, eyes wide with questions, but professor kim chose that moment to actually start the lecture and yunjin had to settle for furious whisper-hissing "what the hell was that?" while you studiously ignored her.
you pulled up your laptop, pretending to focus on the slides about project requirements and grading rubrics. but your attention kept drifting. you could feel it, that awareness of jake sitting several rows behind you. you wondered if he was taking notes. if his friends were grilling him. if his ears were still red.
you told yourself this was practical. logical. jake was skilled, focused, clearly knew his stuff. working with him made sense from a grades perspective, from an efficiency perspective. it was a smart choice. strategic, like you'd said.
but the justification felt thin even as you repeated it to yourself. because practical partnerships didn't make your pulse spike like this. strategic choices didn't leave you feeling weirdly breathless, or hyperaware of your phone in your pocket, waiting for a text that might come in an hour or a day. smart decisions didn't come with this flutter of satisfaction sitting warm and dangerous in your chest, the kind that felt unearned and a little reckless.
you'd just chosen jake over your actual friends for a semester-long project. you'd walked across the entire lecture hall in front of everyone to ask him specifically. you'd done it without planning it, without fully understanding why, acting on instinct alone.
your phone buzzed. you grabbed it maybe too quickly, ignoring yunjin's pointed look.
unknown number: hi, it's jake. from the lab? and also from just now. obviously. you know who i am. anyway this is my number. unknown number: we can meet whenever works for you btw. i'm pretty flexible. unknown number: sorry i'm rambling over text now apparently. i'll stop.
despite everything, despite the weirdness of the entire situation, you felt yourself smile. properly smile, which made yunjin lean over and whisper, "oh my god, you're blushing," which you absolutely were not.
you saved his number. typed out a response. deleted it. typed it again.
you: library tomorrow at 6?
his reply came almost instantly.
jake: perfect. i'll see you there.
yeah. perfect. that's exactly what this was.
you'd gotten there ten minutes early, which was ridiculous and you knew it, but you'd told yourself it was just to secure a good table. not because you were nervous. definitely not because you'd changed your shirt three times.
jake showed up at 6:02, slightly out of breath like he'd been rushing, backpack slung over one shoulder and hair even messier than usual.
"sorry, sorry," he said, sliding into the chair across from you. "my last class ran over and then i couldn't find my charger and—" he stopped himself, ears going pink. "sorry. you don't need the full explanation. i'm here now."
"you're fine," you said, surprised by how much you meant it. "i just got here too."
it was a lie, but whatever.
he pulled out his laptop, a slightly battered thing covered in tech company stickers, and immediately opened what looked like a meticulously organised project folder.
"so i was thinking we could start by breaking down the requirements," he said, already pulling up the assignment sheet. "if we divide it into modules we can work on different parts simultaneously and then integrate everything at the end. i made a rough outline last night, but obviously we can change whatever you want."
you blinked at him. "you made an outline? already?"
"i—yeah?" he looked uncertain suddenly, like he'd done something wrong. "was that—should i not have? i just thought it would be helpful to have a starting point, but if you wanted to plan it together—"
"no, that's—" you leaned closer to look at his screen, close enough that you could smell whatever soap or shampoo he used. something clean and faintly citrusy. "that's really good actually. you're like, super organised."
"oh." he pushed his glasses up, not quite meeting your eyes. "thanks. i just like having things structured, it makes the actual coding part less chaotic."
you shifted your chair around the table, closing the distance between you under the pretence of seeing his screen better. your knees almost touched under the table. jake didn't seem to notice, already walking you through his outline with the kind of focused enthusiasm that made his whole face more animated. he talked with his hands a little, you realised. small gestures that punctuated his explanations.
it was kind of endearing. he was kind of endearing, in this unpolished, genuine way that made you want to keep watching him talk even though you should probably be paying attention to the actual content of what he was saying.
"—so if we use that framework it'll save us a ton of time on the backend. does that make sense?" he glanced at you, expectant.
"yeah, totally," you said, even though you'd caught maybe half of it. "you're really good at this."
"at what?"
"explaining things. breaking stuff down." you let your voice soften deliberately, the kind of tone you'd use on someone you were interested in. testing. "you must be a really good TA."
jake's expression brightened with genuine pleasure, completely innocent. "oh, thanks! i really like teaching actually. it's really satisfying when something clicks for someone, you know?" he turned back to his laptop. "okay so for the first module, i was thinking we could—"
you felt something deflate slightly in your chest. he'd just. moved on. thanked you politely and redirected straight back to work like you'd commented on the weather.
you tried again twenty minutes later, when he'd finished explaining the database architecture. "seriously, how is your brain even wired like this?" you said, letting your hand rest on the table between you, close enough to his that moving a few inches would mean touching. "like, this would've taken me hours to figure out and you just see it."
"i mean, i've been coding since i was like twelve," jake said, smiling in that self-deprecating way that made your stomach flip. "my dad's a software engineer so i kind of grew up around it. you'd be just as good if you'd had the same exposure."
he grabbed his water bottle, took a sip, completely oblivious to the way you were looking at him. "anyway, should we start on the initial setup? i can handle the repository if you want to draft the pseudocode for the first function?"
"sure," you said, trying not to sound as frustrated as you felt.
it continued like that. you'd find little ways to compliment him, to touch his arm when he said something funny, to lean into his space. and every single time jake would light up with friendly appreciation and then just. keep going. keep working. keep being nice in this utterly platonic way that was starting to drive you slightly insane.
when you suggested taking a break and offered to buy him coffee, he'd said "oh that's so sweet, but i'm good, i don't want to lose momentum." when you'd asked about his hobbies, trying to find some common ground beyond code, he'd given you a genuine answer about gaming and soccer and then immediately asked about your hobbies with the same earnest interest he gave to literally everything.
he wasn't being cold. wasn't being dismissive. he was just. friendly. sincerely friendly in a way that suggested he thought you were also just being friendly and nothing more. the idea that you might be flirting with him clearly hadn't even crossed his mind.
it shouldn't have bothered you. it was one study session. you barely knew him. but there was something about the way he was so completely unaffected that made you want to push harder, try more obviously, make him see you the way you were apparently seeing him.
which was insane. you were being insane.
"okay i think that's a good stopping point," jake said eventually, glancing at his phone. "we got through way more than i expected, honestly. you're really fast at this."
"we work well together," you said, maybe too much emphasis on the together part.
"yeah," he agreed easily, already packing up his stuff. "this is gonna be way less painful than i thought. usually group projects are a nightmare but i think we're pretty compatible."
compatible. he said it like he was talking about software versions.
you packed up your own stuff, trying to shake off whatever weird frustrated feeling had settled in your chest. this was good. you had a competent partner who was easy to work with. that's what mattered. not whether he noticed when you laughed at his jokes or sat closer than strictly necessary.
the library had gotten dark outside while you'd been working, the early winter darkness that feeking too heavy for eight pm. you pushed through the doors together, the cold air immediately biting at your face.
"which way are you headed?" jake asked, adjusting his backpack.
you pointed toward the east side of campus. "miller hall."
jake stopped walking. just fully stopped and stared at you. "wait, seriously?"
"yeah?"
"i'm in miller," he said, and his face did this thing, this open, delighted thing like you'd just told him something genuinely exciting. "i'm on the fourth floor. what floor are you?"
"third," you said, trying to keep your voice normal even though your brain was already racing ahead. same building. same building. you lived in the same building and you hadn't known. "that's—what are the odds?"
"i know, right?" jake fell into step beside you, and he seemed more relaxed now, less formal than he'd been in the library. "i can't believe we haven't run into each other before. though i guess i'm not around that much, i'm usually either in class or the lab or—" he laughed. "okay i'm making myself sound really boring."
"no you're not," you said, maybe too quickly. "i'm the same way. especially during midterms."
"the worst," he agreed. "hey, at least now if we need to meet up for the project it's super convenient. we can literally just knock on each other's doors."
he said it so casually. so normally, like it was just a nice logistical benefit and nothing more. meanwhile your mind was already cataloguing possibilities. you could time your meals to match his schedule. figure out when he usually left for class. find reasons to be in the common areas when he might pass through. it would look natural, coincidental. just friendly neighbors running into each other.
you were already strategising.
the realisation made something uncomfortable twist in your stomach. this was. this was too much maybe. you were thinking about him too much, cataloguing details about him like you were studying for an exam. getting frustrated when he didn't respond to your flirting even though you had no actual reason to expect him to. you'd had one late-night interaction and now one study session and somehow you were already rearranging your mental map of campus to accommodate his presence in it.
"you good?" jake asked, and you realised you'd gone quiet.
"yeah, just tired."
"same." he smiled at you, easy and warm. "thanks for picking me as your partner, by the way. i know you could've worked with your friends and i'm—i'm really glad you asked me instead. i think this is gonna be fun."
fun. he was looking forward to the project because he thought it would be fun. because he liked coding and teaching and he probably thought you were a cool person to work with. he was just. happy to have company. happy to make a new friend.
meanwhile you were over here planning imaginary coincidental run-ins and getting weirdly possessive over someone who didn't even know you liked him.
god, you were pathetic.
"yeah," you managed. "me too."
you reached miller hall, and jake held the door open for you, still talking about some technique he wanted to try for the project. you half-listened, watching the way his hair flopped over his forehead, the animated way he gestured when he got excited about something.
the elevator ride to your floor felt too short. jake got off with you, said he'd just walk up the extra flight of stairs for the exercise. "text me if you think of anything for the project," he said, already heading toward the stairwell. "or honestly just text me whenever. i'm always on my phone."
then he was gone, and you were standing alone in the hallway outside your door, feeling weirdly deflated and wired at the same time.
your phone buzzed before you'd even gotten your key out.
jake: forgot to say this but your idea for the UI was really smart. i think it's gonna make the whole thing way more intuitive. jake: ok NOW i'm done bothering you. have a good night!
you stared at the messages, that dangerous warm feeling spreading through your chest again. he'd texted you immediately to compliment your idea. with absolutely no prompting.
you were smiling at your phone like an idiot.
yeah. you were definitely pathetic.
"i'm just saying, he's clearly not interested," yunjin said, stabbing her salad with more force than necessary. "like, you've tried everything."
you were sitting in the dining hall, picking at your food while yunjin and beomgyu conducted what was essentially an intervention about your jake situation. an intervention you hadn't asked for and definitely didn't want.
"maybe he's just shy," you said, defensive.
beomgyu snorted. "shy guys still notice when someone's flirting with them. they just get weird about it. this guy sounds like he genuinely has no idea."
"which means he's not into you," yunjin added, gentler now. "and that's fine, you know? you can just be project partners. you don't have to keep torturing yourself."
except the thing was, you weren't entirely convinced jake wasn't interested. or maybe you just didn't want to accept it yet. because he texted you unprompted sometimes, sent you memes he thought you'd find funny, always smiled when he saw you in the hallway. that had to mean something, right?
"i'm not torturing myself," you muttered.
"you've mentioned him like fifteen times in the past hour," beomgyu pointed out.
"have not."
"you literally just told us about how he holds his pen. his pen."
okay. maybe you were torturing yourself a little.
you left the dining hall feeling irritated and restless, your friends' words circling in your head. he's not interested. he has no idea. you're torturing yourself. maybe they were right. probably they were right. you should just focus on the project, get a good grade, and move on like a normal person.
you were cutting through the student centre, not really paying attention to where you were going, when you passed the community bulletin board. the usual chaos of flyers and posters, study abroad programs, club meetings, someone selling a barely-used microwave. your eyes skimmed over it automatically, not really looking.
then you saw his name.
TUTORING AVAILABLE - COMP 101, 201, 301
patient, experienced, flexible schedule
contact: jake sim
there was a row of little tear-off tabs at the bottom with his phone number. several were already missing. the flyer itself was simple, almost plain. you stared at it. people flowed around you, conversations and footsteps and the ambient noise of the student centre, but you just stood there staring at jake's handwritten flyer.
you didn't need tutoring. your grades were fine. good, even. you and jake were in the same advanced class, for god's sake. he'd probably seen your test scores when he was TAing. this would be…obvious. wouldn't it? taking a tab would be transparent and desperate and—
your hand moved before you'd fully decided. the paper tore with a soft sound that felt too loud. you stared at the little strip in your palm, jake's number printed in his neat handwriting even though you already had it saved in your phone.
what were you doing?
you shoved the tab in your pocket and walked away quickly, like someone might have witnessed you doing something incriminating. your heart was beating too fast. this was insane. this was transparent. he was going to see right through it.
but.
but it was also legitimate, wasn't it? people got tutoring all the time, even when their grades were fine. wanting to understand the material better, wanting a different perspective, wanting to be extra prepared. those were all valid reasons. normal reasons. and yeah, maybe you had ulterior motives, but the cover story was solid enough that you could maintain plausible deniability. to him. to yourself.
you made it back to your dorm before you pulled out your phone.
you: hey! i saw your tutoring flyer in the student centre. do you still have availability?
you hit send before you could overthink it. then immediately started overthinking it anyway. he was going to ask why. he was going to point out that you clearly didn't need help. he was going to—
your phone buzzed.
jake<3: oh hey! yeah i have some slots open. but wait, aren't you doing pretty well in class? i've seen your test scores when i'm grading and you're like, consistently in the top range jake<3: not that you CAN'T get tutoring obviously! everyone can benefit from extra help jake<3: i just want to make sure you actually need it and aren't just being nice or something
god, he was even considerate about this. checking in to make sure you weren't wasting your time or money on something you didn't need. being thoughtful and genuine while you were over here manipulating the situation to manufacture more time with him.
you felt a twinge of something uncomfortable. guilt maybe. but you pushed it down.
you: i mean yeah my grades are okay, but i feel like i'm just memorising patterns without really UNDERSTANDING the concepts you know? like i can solve the problems but i couldn't explain WHY you: i just want to make sure i actually get it. especially since the material keeps building on itself
it wasn't entirely a lie. you did sometimes feel like you were pattern-matching your way through assignments. and deeper understanding was always good. these were reasonable concerns. the fact that they weren't your primary motivation didn't make them untrue.
jake<3: oh yeah that makes total sense actually. i see that a lot with students. they can execute but the underlying logic isn't solid jake<3: okay yeah we can definitely work on that! my rate is $20/hour but honestly for you i'd be happy to just do it for free? since we're already working together on the project anyway
you: no way i'm paying you. you're already helping me so much with the project
jake<3: the project is a two person thing, you're helping me just as much jake<3: but okay we can argue about payment later. when works for you?
you felt that warm, dangerous flutter again. he'd offered to tutor you for free. just casually, like it was no big deal. like spending extra time with you was something he actively wanted to do, even without compensation.
you: i'm pretty flexible. whenever you have time
jake<3: thursdays at 7? we could do the library again or somewhere on our floor if you want somewhere quieter jake<3: also i promise i'll actually TEACH and not just fix your code for you like last time lol
you smiled at your phone. somewhere on your floor. which meant his room or yours. which meant private, just the two of you, no other students around.
you: thursdays work for me!
jake<3: cool! we can switch off. i'll bring snacks jake<3: this'll be fun :)
he'd sent a smiley face. an actual emoticon. it shouldn't have made your heart skip but it did.
you locked your phone and sat on your bed, that satisfaction settling warm in your chest. you'd done it. you'd created a legitimate, recurring excuse to see jake outside of project work. an hour a week, minimum, where you'd have his complete attention. where you could sit close to him in the privacy of a dorm room, help him help you, let those boundaries get just a little bit blurrier.
it was harmless. he was offering tutoring anyway, you were just taking him up on it. and yeah, maybe your motivations weren't entirely pure, but you weren't lying to him. not really. you did want to understand the material better. the fact that you also wanted to be around him more was just. additional context. secondary reasoning.
you were being smart about this, honestly. creating opportunities without being pushy. letting things develop naturally within structures that already existed.
you ignored the small, quiet voice in the back of your mind that whispered this was too much. that you were engineering situations and manufacturing proximity and maybe that wasn't as harmless as you wanted to believe. that jake was offering to help you in good faith while you had an agenda he knew nothing about.
you were good at ignoring that voice.
your phone buzzed again.
jake<3: btw i've been thinking about the database structure and i had an idea
and just like that you were smiling again, typing back, that uncomfortable feeling dissolving into something easier and warmer and more immediately gratifying.
it was fine. everything was fine. this was just tutoring. just spending time with someone you enjoyed being around. there was nothing wrong with that.
nothing wrong with it at all.
you'd been doing the tutoring sessions for three weeks when your roommate officially moved out. well, not officially officially. her stuff was still there, her side of the room still technically occupied. but she'd been spending every night at her boyfriend's off-campus apartment for the past month, and one day she just stopped pretending she was coming back.
"i'm still paying rent," she'd said, shoving clothes into a duffel bag. "so like, it's still my room. i'll probably crash here sometimes. but you basically have the place to yourself."
you'd nodded sympathetically while internally celebrating. your own space. privacy. no need to coordinate schedules or deal with her boyfriend's annoying habits. it was perfect.
it took you less than a day to realise it was perfect for other reasons too.
the next tutoring session was supposed to be in the library. thursday at seven, like always. but you'd been sitting in your empty apartment that afternoon, looking at your space with new eyes, and the idea had planted itself so naturally you'd almost convinced yourself it was practical.
you: hey, would you maybe want to do tutoring at my place tonight instead? my roommate moved in with her boyfriend so it's way quieter than the library you: totally fine if you prefer the library though!
the response took longer than usual. long enough that you started second-guessing yourself. maybe this was too much. too obvious. crossing some line from study partner into something else.
jake<3: oh jake<3: um jake<3: yeah that's fine. if you're sure? jake<3: i don't want to like. intrude or anything jake<3: but yeah quieter is definitely better for focusing
you: you're not intruding i literally invited you haha you: i'm in 3B. just come by at 7
jake<3: okay! see you then
you spent the next two hours in a cleaning frenzy you absolutely did not want to examine too closely. you weren't trying to impress him. you just wanted the place to look nice and presentable. the fact that you changed your clothes twice and lit a candle that made the whole apartment smell like vanilla and sandalwood was just. coincidence.
the knock came at exactly seven. jake was annoyingly punctual.
you opened the door to find him standing in the hallway looking uncertain, backpack slung over one shoulder, holding a bag of chips. "hi," he said. "i brought snacks. i didn't know what you liked so i just got the variety pack."
"you didn't have to do that."
"i know, but—" he shifted his weight. "i don't know, it felt weird showing up empty-handed."
you stepped back to let him in, watching as he moved into your space with obvious hesitation. he didn't walk in so much as carefully entered, like he was worried about disturbing something. his eyes went immediately to your walls, taking in the art prints you'd hung, the string lights, the bookshelf crammed with novels and textbooks. then to your desk setup, the small kitchen area, the couch that your roommate had left behind.
"wow," he said quietly. "this is. really nice."
"it's just a dorm apartment."
"no, i know, but—" he gestured vaguely at everything. "it's decorated. like, actually decorated. my place looks like a prison cell compared to this." he was still standing near the door, like he hadn't fully committed to being here. "is that an original print?"
you glanced at the framed artwork he was pointing at. "yeah. local artist. i got it at a campus market thing."
"it's really cool." he finally took a few more steps inside, setting his backpack down carefully on the floor like he was afraid it might scuff something. his attention caught on your kitchen counter, where you'd left out the fancy coffee you'd bought yesterday. the expensive cheese and crackers. the fruit you'd pre-cut and arranged in a bowl because apparently you were that person now.
jake went quiet for a second. then he laughed, but it sounded a little uncomfortable. "okay i have to ask. are you like, rich?"
you felt your face heat. "what? no."
"because this—" he gestured at your apartment again, at the candle burning on your coffee table, the throw blanket artfully draped over your couch, the general aesthetic coherence of the space. "this seems like. i don't know. very put together for a college student."
"i just like my space to feel nice," you said, defensive. "there's nothing wrong with that."
"no, definitely not! i didn't mean—" he ran a hand through his hair, flustered. "i just meant. my room has like, a bed and a desk and some clothes on the floor. this looks like an apartment from a magazine. in a good way," he added quickly. "it's impressive. i'm just. you know. mildly intimidated."
"don't be intimidated," you said, softer now. trying for casual. "seriously, make yourself comfortable. do you want something to drink? i have coffee, tea, juice, those fancy sparkling waters—"
"you have fancy sparkling water?"
"they were on sale."
they were absolutely not on sale. you'd bought them specifically because you remembered jake mentioning he liked trying different flavours. but he didn't need to know that.
"um, sure. i'll try one." he was still standing awkwardly in the middle of your living room, like he couldn't figure out where he was allowed to exist.
you grabbed two cans from the fridge, handing him one and gesturing toward the couch. "we can work there if you want. or the desk. whatever's comfortable."
"couch is good," he said, finally sitting down and immediately looking slightly less tense. he opened the sparkling water, took a sip, and made a surprised noise. "oh this is actually really good."
"told you." you sat next to him, closer than you would have in the library. not touching, but close enough that you could feel the warmth of him next to you. close enough that when he leaned forward to pull his laptop out of his backpack, you caught that familiar scent of soap and citrus.
he pulled up the lesson he'd prepared, something about optimisation algorithms, and fell into his teaching rhythm. you'd noticed this about jake before. when he was explaining code, he became more confident. less apologetic. his hands moved as he talked, tracing invisible diagrams in the air, and his whole face became more animated.
you were trying to focus. really, you were. but you kept getting distracted by the fact that he was here, in your space, sitting on your couch. his knee bumped yours at one point and he apologised even though it was barely contact. you told him it was fine. his handwriting was neat when he sketched out examples in your notebook. he had a small scar on his left hand you'd never noticed before.
"are you following?" he asked, glancing over at you.
"yeah," you said, snapping back to attention. "sorry. just thinking."
"it's kind of a dense topic," he said, apologetic again. "we can take a break if you need."
"no, keep going. you're good at this."
something in his expression softened. "thanks. i—i actually really like doing this. the tutoring, i mean. it's nice having someone to talk through concepts with who actually cares about understanding them properly." he paused, looking around your apartment again like he was seeing it with fresh eyes. "and this is. yeah. this is better than the library for sure."
"yeah?"
"the library's always so loud, even in the quiet sections. and people keep interrupting to ask if they can take chairs from our table." he settled back into your couch slightly, his shoulders loosening. "this is way better. i can actually think here."
you felt that dangerous satisfaction bloom in your chest. this is better. i can actually think here. he was comfortable. in your space. comfortable enough to relax, to take up room, to exist without that careful hesitation he'd had when he first arrived.
"we should do all our sessions here," you said, trying to sound casual. "if you're cool with it."
jake glanced at you, then around the apartment again. for a second you thought he might question it. might recognise this for what it was. but then he just smiled, easy and genuine. "yeah, i'd like that. this is really nice."
"cool," you said. your heart was doing that annoying fluttery thing again.
you went back to the lesson, jake's voice steady and patient as he walked you through increasingly complex problems. his knee stayed pressed against yours. he'd stopped apologising for taking up space. he reached for the fancy crackers you'd set out without asking if it was okay first, just casual and comfortable like he belonged here.
and god help you, you liked seeing him like this. liked having him in your space, surrounded by your things, relaxed and focused and entirely unaware of how much thought you'd put into creating this exact scenario.
he was more comfortable here than he should be. settling into your life with an ease that should have alarmed you but instead just made you want to pull him deeper.
you were playing a game he didn't know existed. creating intimacy in careful increments. manufacturing closeness that felt organic to him but was entirely designed by you.
"okay your turn," jake said, pushing your laptop toward you. "try implementing that function we just talked through."
you pulled the computer into your lap, fingers moving over the keys, hyper-aware of jake watching. of his presence next to you, patient and encouraging. of how easy it would be to let this become routine. thursday nights on your couch, just the two of you, the rest of the world locked outside.
professor kim handed back midterms on a wednesday, and the energy in the lecture hall was exactly what you'd expect. nervous shuffling, people immediately comparing scores, that girl in the front row who always cried regardless of her grade already tearing up.
you flipped your exam over and saw the 100 staring back at you. perfect score. you felt a flush of satisfaction that had nothing to do with the grade itself and everything to do with the fact that jake would see it.
"holy shit," yunjin whispered, leaning over to look. "you got a perfect score?"
"apparently."
"that's insane. i got an 87 and i thought i did well." she shook her head, impressed and maybe slightly annoyed. "what did jake think? he must be so proud, that's basically a direct result of his tutoring."
speaking of jake, he was two rows behind you, and you could hear his friends' voices carrying.
"dude, you got a 98," one of them said. "that's insane."
"i missed this one question," jake said, and he sounded genuinely disappointed. "i can't believe i mixed up the time complexity."
you turned around without really thinking about it, catching his eye. he was already looking at you, and his face did this thing, this hopeful uncertain thing. "how'd you do?"
you held up your exam. his eyes widened.
"you got a hundred?" he said it loud enough that a few people glanced over. then he was standing up, moving past his friends, coming down to your row with his exam still in his hand. "holy shit, that's—that's amazing. you—" he stopped himself, looking almost embarrassed by his own enthusiasm. "sorry, i'm like. weirdly excited about this."
"don't apologise," you said, smiling despite yourself. "you sound more excited than i am."
"because i—" he gestured at your exam, then at you. "you understood it. like really understood it. i could tell during our sessions that things were clicking but seeing it actually translate to a perfect score is just—" he ran his hand through his hair, grinning in a way that made your stomach flip. "i'm really proud of you."
the words hit you weird. i'm proud of you. said with such genuine warmth, such unironic sincerity. like your success was somehow his success too. like he was personally invested in your performance because he'd helped you get there.
except you hadn't really needed the help. you'd manufactured the entire situation. you'd been doing fine before the tutoring started and you'd probably have gotten a perfect score regardless. jake's proud smile was based on a false premise. he thought he'd helped you achieve something when really you'd just. used him. used his time and his patience and his genuine desire to help people, all so you could sit close to him once a week.
something uncomfortable twisted in your chest. you shoved it down.
"i couldn't have done it without you," you said, because that's what you were supposed to say. what he expected to hear. even if it made you feel slightly sick.
"i know, i know. it's a good grade. i just hate making careless mistakes." he smiled at you again, softer this time. "but seriously, i'm really happy for you. you worked really hard for this."
"we should celebrate," you said, before you could second-guess it. "both of us. good scores, successful tutoring, whatever. come over tonight? i'll make dinner, we can watch a movie. my treat, as a thank you."
jake hesitated, just for a second. "you don't have to thank me."
"i want to," you said firmly with a smile. "you've been helping me for weeks and not accepting any payment. the least i can do is feed you."
"when you put it that way." he was smiling again, that easy smile that made your heart do stupid things. "yeah, okay. what time?"
"seven?"
"perfect."
...
you went slightly overboard with dinner. not crazy overboard, just. more effort than was strictly necessary for a casual thank-you meal. homemade pasta, the good parmesan, a salad that actually had more than three ingredients. you'd also bought wine, which felt very adult and sophisticated until you remembered you were literally just having your study partner over.
jake showed up at seven on the dot, holding a bag of cookies from the expensive bakery near campus. "i know you said your treat, but i can't show up empty-handed," he explained, handing them over. "it's like, physically impossible for me."
"you're ridiculous."
"i've been told." he stepped inside, immediately more comfortable than he'd been that first time. he knew where to put his shoes now, where to set his bag. he went straight for the couch like he belonged there.
dinner was easy. conversation flowed naturally, jumping from classes to campus gossip to a debate about whether the dining hall pizza was underrated or genuinely terrible. jake argued passionately for underrated, gesturing with his fork, getting sauce on his chin that he didn't notice until you pointed it out. he laughed, embarrassed, wiping it away.
"wine?" you offered, after you'd cleared the plates.
"oh, um. sure?" he looked uncertain. "i'm not really a big drinker."
"me neither. but we're celebrating, right?"
"right." he accepted the glass you poured, taking a small sip and making a face. "god, why do people like this? it tastes like someone made juice go bad on purpose."
you laughed despite yourself. "it's an acquired taste."
"that's what people say about things that are objectively bad." but he took another sip anyway, settling back into the couch as you pulled up netflix.
you ended up on some action movie neither of you had seen, the kind with improbable stunts and a plot that didn't require much attention. which was good, because you weren't really watching it. you were too aware of jake next to you, closer than he needed to be, his shoulder occasionally brushing yours. he'd finished his wine faster than you expected and seemed looser now, more animated. he kept making commentary on the movie, pointing out plot holes and questionable physics, his hands moving as he talked.
"—and there's no way that building would still be structurally sound after that explosion," he was saying, gesturing at the screen. "like, basic engineering, you know?"
"you're thinking too hard about it."
"i can't help it. my brain won't turn off." he glanced at you, something warm in his expression. "this is nice though. just hanging out. we're always studying or talking about the project, it's cool to just…exist. without an agenda."
without an agenda. the words hit harder than they should have. because you did have an agenda. you'd had one this entire time. this whole evening was carefully constructed, from the homemade dinner to the wine to the deliberately casual intimacy of it all.
"yeah," you managed. "it's nice."
the movie continued. jake shifted closer, his thigh pressing against yours. you didn't move away. his arm ended up along the back of the couch, not quite around your shoulders but close enough that you could feel the warmth of it. neither of you acknowledged it, but neither of you adjusted either.
"can i ask you something?" jake said during a particularly slow part of the movie.
"sure."
"why did you pick me? for the project, i mean." he was looking at you now instead of the screen, his expression curious and open. "you could've worked with your friends. people you already knew. but you walked all the way across the lecture hall to ask me."
your heart kicked up. "i told you. you're good at this stuff."
"yeah, but." he paused, like he was trying to figure out how to phrase something. "it felt like. i don't know. like you went out of your way. and i've been trying to figure out if i'm reading too much into it or if there was something else."
the air felt suddenly thinner. "something else like what?"
"i don't know." he laughed, self-conscious. "i'm probably being weird. forget i said anything."
"jake."
"i just—" he met your eyes, and there was something vulnerable in his expression that made your breath catch. "i really like spending time with you. like, more than i probably should for someone who's just a project partner and tutoring student. and sometimes i think maybe you. i don't know, feel the same? but i'm also really bad at reading these things so i'm probably completely wrong."
oh. oh.
"you're not wrong," you said quietly.
his eyes widened slightly. "i'm not?"
instead of answering, you leaned in. gave him enough time to pull back, to stop this, but he didn't. he met you halfway, his lips soft and uncertain against yours. for a second neither of you moved, the kiss chaste and almost careful. then something shifted. his hand came up to cup your face, thumb brushing your cheekbone, and you pressed closer, your fingers curling into his shirt.
jake made a soft sound against your mouth, surprise or maybe pleasure, and kissed you back with more confidence. his other hand found your waist, tentative at first then firmer, pulling you closer. you ended up in his lap somehow, his hands spanning your back, your fingers threading through his hair. he tasted like wine and something sweet from the cookies he'd brought.
"is this okay?" he whispered against your lips, breathing hard.
"yes," you said, and kissed him again before he could second-guess it.
his hands moved under your shirt, warm against your skin, and you felt him shiver when you rolled your hips experimentally. "god," he breathed, sounding almost pained. "we should—are we really—"
"do you want to stop?"
"no. god, no. i just—" he looked up at you, pupils blown, lips kiss-swollen. "i didn't think this would happen. i'm not. i don't usually."
"it's okay," you said softly, meaning it. "we don't have to do anything you don't want."
jake didn’t stop you. instead, he seemed to melt into the contact, his hands trembling as they slid further up your back, skin hot through the thin fabric of your shirt. when you moved to guide him off the couch and onto the rug, he followed with a sort of dazed compliance, his glasses slightly askew on his face.
you knelt between his legs, and the shift in atmosphere was immediate. the movie was still playing—some distant sound of tires screeching—but all you could hear was the ragged, uneven hitch of jake’s breath. when you reached for the button of his jeans, his hand flew to your wrist, not to stop you, but just to steady himself. his knuckles were white.
"are you sure?" he whispered, his voice cracking. "i—i'm not... i don't want to mess this up. our project, the tutoring... i don't want to make things weird for you."
"jake," you said, looking up at him through your lashes. "shut up and let me."
he let out a shaky, half-strangled laugh, his head hitting the base of the couch as he let go of your wrist. "okay. okay, yeah. shutting up."
as you eased his jeans down, you realised the lanky, awkward way he carried himself in the halls was a massive deception. he was built with a surprising, heavy sturdiness that the oversized hoodies always hid. his legs were long, his thighs thick with the kind of muscle that suggested he actually did play soccer as more than just a hobby. and when you finally freed him, you couldn't help the small, sharp intake of breath that escaped you.
"jake," you breathed, your eyes widening. "holy..."
he groaned, the sound vibrating deep in his chest, and covered his eyes with his forearm. "don't. don't look at me like that. i know. i'm sorry, is it... is it too much? i can—"
"it's perfect," you cut him off, reaching out to touch him. his skin was searing, and the moment your fingers closed around him, his entire body jolted like he’d been hit with a live wire.
when you leaned forward to take him into your mouth, jake’s reaction was explosive. he arched off the floor, his fingers tangling desperately in your hair, his breath coming in short, panicked gasps. he was so sensitive, so completely overwhelmed by the sensation that it felt like he was losing his grip on reality.
"oh god," he choked out, his voice high and strained. "wait, wait—that's—you’re so... the pressure, i can't—"
you didn't slow down. you liked the way he lost his composure, the way the articulate, logical TA was reduced to incoherent stutters. you used your hands to keep him steady, your tongue swirling around the head of him, and jake’s hips began to move in a frantic, uncoordinated rhythm. he was trying to keep some semblance of control, trying to stay "polite," but the sheer intensity of it was breaking him.
"i'm gonna... i'm actually gonna..." he gasped, his hands tightening in your hair, pulling you closer until he was practically burying himself in you. "please, don't stop. don't stop, just like that—right there—"
he hit his limit with a loud, guttural shout that was muffled only by the back of his hand as he bit down on his own knuckles to stay quiet. his body went rigid, muscles in his arms and chest standing out in sharp relief as he came, the force of it leaving him limp and shuddering against the couch.
it took him a long time to come back down. for several minutes, the only sound in the room was his heavy, labouring breath and the flickering light of the tv. you pulled back, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, feeling a fierce, glowing sense of triumph. he looked completely wrecked—hair a disaster, glasses hanging off one ear, chest heaving.
you felt powerful. you’d spent weeks engineering this, calculating every move, and seeing him like this—totally undone by you—was better than any perfect exam score.
"you okay?" you asked, leaning your chin on his knee.
jake let out a long, shaky exhale, finally moving his arm to look at you. his eyes were hazy, his face flushed a deep, beautiful red. "i... think my brain just short-circuited," he whispered, a small, dazed smile tugging at his lips.
"in a good way?"
"in the best way." he reached out, his fingers trembling as he tucked a lock of hair behind your ear. "thank you. seriously. i don't—i don't even know what to say."
you smiled, leaning into his touch. the apartment was warm, the air still smelling of vanilla. "you don't have to say anything. you should just stay."
the words were soft, natural. it felt like the obvious next step. but the second they left your mouth, you felt the shift.
it was subtle at first—the way jake’s fingers went still against your skin. then his pupils, which had been blown wide with pleasure, suddenly constricted. he blinked, the haziness clearing as his internal "problem-solving mode" kicked back in with a vengeance.
"stay?" he repeated, his voice sounding suddenly small.
"yeah. it's late, and it's cold out. just stay over. we can... i don't know, wake up and have coffee. maybe look at the project again."
jake’s eyes darted toward his hands, then to his backpack, then to the door. the relaxation in his shoulders vanished, replaced by a rigid, frantic tension. he looked like he’d just realised he was standing in the middle of a minefield.
"i—" he started, scrambling to pull his jeans up. he was moving so fast he almost tripped over his own feet. "i can't. i mean, i should... i have that grading to finish. for kim. and i—i didn't bring my toothbrush. or my meds. and my roommate, he—he'll wonder where i am. he gets worried."
"jake, it’s fine, you can borrow—"
"no!" he said, a bit too loudly. he was fumbling with his belt, his fingers shaking so badly he could barely loop it through. he wouldn't look at you. his face wasn't flushed with pleasure anymore; it was pale, his expression twisted into something that looked dangerously like panic. "no, i really should go. i’m sorry. i just... i realised the time. i have to go."
you stood up, feeling a cold, hollow pit open in your stomach. "did i do something wrong? was it... was it too much?"
"no! no, it was... it was amazing," he said, finally getting his shoes on, not even bothering to tie the laces. he grabbed his backpack, clutching it to his chest like a shield. "it was too amazing. that's the... that's the problem. i'm—i'm not good at this. i think i need to... i need to think. logically. about the implications."
"the implications?" you asked, your voice rising with a sharp, hurt edge. "it was just a night, jake. it doesn't have to be a 'logical problem' to solve."
"i know, i know. i'm sorry. i’m just... i'm a mess." he backed toward the door, his hand fumbling for the handle behind his back. "i'll text you? about the project? we still have that deadline on tuesday."
"jake—"
"goodnight! thank you for dinner. the pasta was really... the texture was perfect. okay. bye."
he practically fell out of the door, the sound of his hurried footsteps echoing down the hallway as he sprinted toward the stairs.
the click of the door closing felt final. you stood in the centre of your perfectly decorated, candle-lit apartment, surrounded by the remnants of the dinner you’d spent hours on. the half-empty wine glasses, the bag of expensive cookies, the rumpled rug.
you felt a hot, stinging prickle behind your eyes. you’d done everything right. you’d been strategic, patient, and kind. you’d gotten him to open up, to trust you, to want you. and yet, watching him run away like you were a bug in his code—something to be deleted or fixed—hurt more than any midterm failure ever could.
you sat back down on the couch, the silence of the room suddenly feeling just as oppressive as it had back in the computer lab. you picked up your phone, looking at his last text. this'll be fun :)
you threw the phone onto the cushions and buried your face in your hands, the smell of his citrus shampoo still clinging to your skin, mocking you.
jake didn't text.
you stared at your phone for the entire next day, watching the screen like you could will a message into existence. the "i'll text you" he'd thrown over his shoulder before fleeing felt increasingly like a polite lie. by saturday afternoon you broke first.
you: hey, you okay?
the message sat there. delivered, but no response.
you tried again sunday morning, going for casual.
you: still on for project work this week?
still no response.
by monday you'd moved past confusion into something that felt uncomfortably like panic. this wasn't how things worked. people didn't just. stop responding to you. they didn't ignore you or avoid you or remove you from their orbit like you were some problem to be managed. you were used to being wanted, pursued, the one who had to let people down gently. this reversed dynamic was unfamiliar and honestly humiliating.
you saw him in the dining hall on tuesday. he was with his friends, laughing at something one of them said, looking completely normal. like nothing had happened. like he hadn't been on your couch four days ago falling apart under your touch.
you started walking toward their table before you could think better of it, but jake's eyes flicked up, met yours for a fraction of a second, and then he was standing, gathering his tray, saying something to his friends. they all got up and left. just. left. walked out the side exit while you stood there holding your lunch like an idiot.
yunjin grabbed your arm. "okay, what the hell was that?"
"nothing," you said, but your voice came out wrong.
"that was not nothing. did something happen with you and jake?"
"no. i don't know. it's complicated."
it wasn't complicated. it was actually pretty simple. you'd pushed too hard and now he wanted nothing to do with you.
wednesday he wasn't in his usual spot in lecture. you spent the entire class scanning the room, finally spotting him in the very back corner, a place he'd never sat before. he kept his eyes on his laptop the entire time, didn't look up once. when class ended he was the first one out the door.
thursday was supposed to be tutoring. seven pm, his room or yours, the standing appointment you'd had for weeks now. you waited in your apartment, laptop open to the half-finished project, telling yourself he'd show up. he was responsible and dedicated. he wouldn't just bail without saying anything.
seven came and went. then seven-thirty. by eight you accepted he wasn't coming.
you: are we still working together on the project? i need to know so i can plan accordingly.
again, no response.
friday morning you were walking to class when you saw him ahead of you on the path. for once he hadn't spotted you first. you sped up, closing the distance, and watched in real time as he seemed to sense your presence. his shoulders tensed. then he took a sharp left turn down a path that definitely wasn't toward any of his classes. he was actively avoiding you. taking different routes. altering his entire routine just to not run into you.
something hot and humiliated burned in your chest.
by next week, you'd had enough. you knew his schedule. knew he had algorithms right before lunch on mondays, in the engineering building, third floor. you positioned yourself outside the classroom before class ended, ignoring the curious looks from other students filing out. you spotted jake immediately when the doors opened. he saw you at the same moment and actually stopped walking, causing someone behind him to bump into his back.
"we need to talk," you said.
"i have—i need to get to—"
"jake." your voice came out sharper than intended. "five minutes. please."
something in his expression shifted. resignation maybe. he nodded once, following you to an empty study room down the hall. you closed the door. the small space suddenly felt suffocating.
"you've been ignoring me," you said.
"i know."
"for a week. you didn't text, you didn't show up to tutoring, you're literally avoiding me on campus."
"i know," he said again, quieter. he wasn't looking at you, his eyes fixed somewhere around your shoulder. "i'm sorry. that wasn't— i should have communicated better."
"so communicate now. what's going on?"
jake was quiet for a long moment. when he finally spoke, his voice was careful. measured. "what happened last week. that crossed a line for me."
"we both wanted it."
"did we?" he looked at you now, and there was something in his expression that made your stomach drop. "because i've been thinking about it a lot. about how we got there. and i feel like. i don't know. like maybe i missed something."
"what do you mean?"
"the tutoring," he said. "you didn't actually need it, did you? your grades were already good. and the project. you had friends you could have worked with. people you actually knew. but you picked me." he paused. "why did you pick me?"
the question hung in the air between you. you could lie. deflect. but something about the way he was looking at you, patient and a little sad, made it feel pointless.
"i liked you," you said finally. "i wanted to spend time with you."
"okay." he nodded slowly. "so the tutoring was. what. an excuse? a way to manufacture time together?"
"it wasn't like that."
"wasn't it though?" there was no anger in his voice. just. tiredness. "because from my perspective, i thought i was helping someone who needed help. i thought we were becoming friends. and then suddenly we're… doing that. and i'm trying to figure out when the shift happened and i can't. because maybe there was no shift. maybe that's what you wanted the whole time and i just didn't see it."
"i did want to be your friend," you said, defensive now. "i wasn't. it's not like i was using you."
"weren't you?"
the words hit harder than they should have. because he wasn't wrong. you had used him. used his kindness, his eagerness to help, his complete inability to see through your motivations. you'd engineered situations and manufactured proximity and told yourself it was harmless.
"i like you," jake said, and somehow that made it worse. "i really do. but i feel. god, i don't even know how to explain it. exposed? like you saw something in me that made me an easy target and you just. went for it. and i didn't even realise what was happening until it had already happened."
"that's not—"
"and the thing is," he continued, talking over you gently, "you're so far out of my league. like, objectively. you're smart and pretty and confident and you have your shit together. and i'm just. me. i'm awkward and i ramble and i spend friday nights debugging code for fun. so the fact that you were interested never made sense. i kept waiting for it to click, for me to understand why, and now i think i do. it wasn't about me. it was about. i don't know. the chase? the conquest? i was a project to you."
"no," you said, but your voice came out weak. "jake, that's not true. you weren't a project."
"then what was i?"
you didn't have an answer. or you did, but it was complicated and messy and saying it out loud would mean admitting things you didn't want to admit.
jake sighed. "i'm not trying to be cruel. i'm really not. but being around you right now makes me feel uncomfortable. like i can't trust my own judgement because i didn't see any of this coming. and that's. that's my issue to work through. but i need space to do it."
"what about the class project?"
"we can do it over email. divide up the work, combine it at the end. we don't have to see each other."
"and tutoring?"
"i think we should stop. you don't actually need it anyway."
each sentence felt like a door closing. practical, reasonable, and completely final.
"i'm sorry," you said, and meant it. "i didn't mean to. i wasn't trying to hurt you."
"i know," jake said, and he sounded sincere. "i don't think you set out to do anything malicious. i just think you didn't really consider how it would feel from my side. and now we're here."
"so that's it? we just stop talking?"
"for now, yeah. maybe later we can be normal around each other. but right now i need. distance."
he moved toward the door, his hand on the handle. you wanted to say something, anything that would fix this. some argument that would make him see you differently. but looking at his face, at the quiet certainty there, you knew there was nothing you could say. he'd made up his mind. he'd set a boundary. and you had no choice but to respect it.
"i really am sorry," you said again.
"i know," jake said. "me too."
then he was gone, the door clicking shut behind him with that same horrible finality. you stood there in the empty study room, staring at the space where he'd been.
you couldn't even argue with his reasoning. everything he'd said was true. you had manufactured situations. you had used his kindness and his obliviousness to get what you wanted. you'd told yourself it was harmless, that your feelings were real even if your methods were questionable.
but intent didn't matter when the impact was someone feeling manipulated and exposed.
you left the study room feeling hollowed out. the campus looked the same. people laughed and talked and went about their days. somewhere out there jake was probably headed to lunch with his friends, relieved to have finally said what he needed to say.
and you were just. alone. with the sharp realisation that you'd ruined something before it even had a chance to be real.
the party was exactly the kind of loud, chaotic mess you needed. bass thrumming through the floors, bodies packed into every available space, the air thick with sweat and cheap alcohol and too many competing perfumes. yunjin had dragged you here, insisting you needed to "get out of your head" after moping around for two weeks straight.
so here you were. red cup in hand, smile fixed in place, laughing at jokes you weren't really hearing. performing normalcy while your brain kept circling the same thoughts on loop. jake's face in that study room. the careful way he'd said i need space. the hollow feeling that had taken up permanent residence in your chest.
"you good?" beomgyu asked, leaning close to be heard over the music.
"yeah, great," you said automatically, taking another drink.
you were on your third. or fourth. you'd stopped counting. the alcohol sat warm in your stomach but hadn't managed to quiet your thoughts yet. maybe if you drank enough you'd stop replaying every conversation with jake, analysing every moment for signs you'd missed, evidence of how thoroughly you'd fucked everything up.
"i'm gonna get another drink," you said to no one in particular, pushing through the crowd toward the kitchen.
that's when you saw him.
jake. standing near the makeshift bar someone had set up on the counter, red cup in hand, talking to a girl you didn't recognise. and he was laughing. actually laughing, head thrown back, completely at ease in a way that made something hot and ugly twist in your chest.
because he never looked like that with you. even before everything went wrong, even during those tutoring sessions in your apartment when you'd thought you were building something real, he'd always been slightly careful and polite, like he was containing himself. but now he was loose and animated, gesturing with his free hand while the girl laughed at whatever he was saying, her hand resting on his arm.
her hand was on his arm.
you watched as she leaned closer, saying something that made jake grin. that specific grin, the one where his eyes crinkled at the corners and you could see his perfect teeth on display. you'd thought that smile was special. something you'd earned. but apparently he was just like this, with everyone who wasn't you.
the jealousy hit so hard it felt physical. burning through your chest, turning your vision sharp and focused. you were moving before you'd decided to, weaving through people, your jaw clenched so tight it hurt.
jake saw you coming. his smile faltered, something uncertain crossing his face. "hey—"
"who's this?" you said, gesturing at the girl. your voice came out sharper than you'd intended, heavy with something you couldn't quite name.
the girl looked between you and jake, confused. "i'm mina. jungwon's sister remember? we just met like ten minutes ago."
"oh right." you focused on jake, ignoring her entirely. "you look like you're having fun."
"i—yeah?" jake's eyebrows drew together. "it's a party?"
"funny how you can make time for parties but couldn't respond to any of my texts about the assignment."
"i told you we could do it over email—"
"is that what you're doing right now? project work?" you knew you sounded irrational, accusatory, but you couldn't stop. the words kept spilling out, poisoned by alcohol and jealousy and two weeks of feeling like you'd been the only one affected by any of this.
"or are you just. moving on? found someone new to—"
"okay, i'm gonna go," mina said, backing away with her hands up. "this seems like. a thing. nice meeting you, jake."
she disappeared into the crowd. jake stared at you, his expression shifting from confused to something harder. "what the hell was that?"
"you tell me. you've been ignoring me for two weeks and now you're here flirting with random girls?"
"flirting?" jake's voice pitched up slightly. "flirting? i was literally just talking to her. she asked where the bathroom was and then we started chatting about the music. that's—that's not flirting, that's called being polite."
"she had her hand on your arm."
"so?" jake looked genuinely baffled now. "people touch arms when they talk. that doesn't mean anything. and even if it did—" he stopped himself, jaw tightening. "i don't owe you an explanation. you don't get to. we're not together. we're not anything."
the words hit exactly where they were meant to. "right. because you decided we're not."
"no, because you decided we weren't, like a month ago when you started playing games instead of just being honest." his voice was rising now, frustration bleeding through. "and now you're mad because i'm talking to someone else? you don't get to do that. you don't get to manipulate me into something and then act possessive when i try to move on."
"i'm not—" you started, but stopped. because he was right. you were being possessive and irrational. reading intent into a harmless conversation because you wanted there to be something there. wanted confirmation that jake was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about him.
but he wasn't. he was just living his life. talking to people at parties. laughing easily with strangers. completely unaffected while you spiralled.
"i wasn't flirting with her," jake said, quieter now. tired. "i was just being friendly. that's what normal people do. they don't engineer entire relationships or manufacture situations. they just exist around each other."
"i know," you said, your voice coming out smaller than you wanted. "i'm sorry. i shouldn't have. that was out of line."
jake nodded once, already turning away. "yeah. it was."
you watched him disappear back into the crowd, leaving you standing alone by the kitchen counter. your hands were shaking. you downed the rest of your drink in one go, the burn doing nothing to quiet the noise in your head.
you'd just proven everything he'd said about you. possessive. manipulative. unable to let go. you'd projected your own feelings onto a completely innocent interaction and made a scene because you couldn't handle seeing him okay when you were so thoroughly not okay.
you'd been so certain. so sure he was flirting, that the girl meant something, that you'd caught him in some kind of lie. but you'd been wrong. completely, embarrassingly wrong. because you didn't actually know what jake was thinking. you never had. you'd just assumed, projected, filled in the gaps with your own narrative.
and now he was probably telling his friends what a psycho you were. probably regretting he'd ever let you into his life in the first place.
you grabbed another drink.
…
the party had devolved into that late-night haze where everything blurred together. people you didn't recognise, conversations you weren't part of, music that had gotten somehow both quieter and more invasive. you'd lost track of yunjin and beomgyu somewhere around drink number six. or seven. the room tilted slightly when you moved too fast.
you were trying to find your jacket, ready to call it a night, when you spotted him. jake. sitting alone on a couch in the corner, looking absolutely exhausted. his head kept drooping forward like he was fighting to stay conscious, then jerking back up. his eyes were half-closed, his usual careful posture completely abandoned.
you should walk past him. nothing good could come from another interaction tonight. you'd already embarrassed yourself once. but your feet carried you closer anyway, some magnetic pull you couldn't quite resist even knowing it was a bad idea.
you were almost past him when his hand shot out, fingers wrapping around your wrist. "don't," he said, not looking at you. his voice was rough, slurred slightly. "don't leave."
you stopped. "jake—"
"been trying," he mumbled, his grip loosening but not releasing. "trying so hard. but you make it impossible."
"what are you talking about?"
he finally looked up at you, and his eyes were unfocused, glassy with alcohol. "you. i'm talking about you. can't stop thinking about you. it's driving me insane."
your heart lurched. "you're drunk."
"i know but so are you," he said, like that explained everything. "that's the only reason i'm saying this. because sober me knows better. sober me has self-control and boundaries and all that shit." he pulled gently on your wrist, making you stumble slightly closer. "but drunk me is tired. so tired of pretending i don't want you."
"you said you needed space."
"i do need space. because when i'm around you i can't think straight. i can't trust myself." his words were coming out uneven, tripping over each other. "you think i was avoiding you because i was mad? i was avoiding you because if i saw you i'd—" he made a frustrated noise. "i'd do something stupid. like this. this is stupid."
you sat down next to him, his hand still wrapped around your wrist. "jake—"
"you're so pretty," he said, almost accusatory. "and you smell good. and you're smart, like actually smart, not just good at school. and when you laugh it's. it does things to me. and i hate it. i hate that you have this much power over me when i don't even know if you actually like me or if i'm just… convenient."
"i do like you," you said quietly. "i've liked you the whole time."
"but do you?" he turned to face you more fully, his eyes searching yours even though he seemed to be having trouble focusing. "or do you like the idea of me? the nerdy guy you can manipulate? your little project?"
"that's not—" you stopped. "it wasn't like that. it's not like that."
"then what is it like?" he was still holding your wrist, his thumb pressing against your pulse point. "because i've been trying to figure it out for weeks and i can't. i can't understand why you'd want me. what you get out of this. and maybe i'm just stupid but i need you to tell me. plainly. what do you want from me?"
"you," you said, the word coming out more honest than you'd intended. "just. you."
jake laughed, bitter and tired. "that doesn't make sense."
"i know."
"i'm not interesting. i'm not cool or funny or—"
"you are though," you interrupted. "you are all of those things. you just don't see it."
he went quiet for a long moment. then, so quietly you almost missed it: "i've been trying so hard not to want you back. because i knew—i know it's not good for me. but i can't stop. and i'm so tired of trying."
his hand slid from your wrist to your hand, fingers threading through yours. the touch was so much gentler than you expected, almost reverent. "i deleted your texts without reading them," he admitted. "because if i read them i'd respond. and if i responded i'd end up right back where i started. wanting you. letting you in. getting hurt."
"i don't want to hurt you."
"i know. that's what makes it worse." he leaned his head back against the couch, eyes closing. "you don't mean to. you just. do."
you didn't know what to say to that. didn't know how to fix the damage you'd done or convince him that your feelings were real when your actions had been so calculated. so you just sat there, holding his hand, feeling the warmth of him next to you.
"i missed you," jake said, so quiet you barely heard it over the music. "i fucking missed you and i hated myself for it."
"i missed you too."
"yeah?" he opened his eyes, looking at you with something raw and unguarded. "you missed manipulating me?"
"that's not fair."
"isn't it though?" but there was no heat in his words. just exhaustion. "god, i'm so tired. tired of being angry. tired of trying to stay away from you. tired of pretending i don't want you so badly it hurts."
the confession hung in the air between you. jake was looking at you like he was waiting for something, permission or rejection or maybe just confirmation that you'd heard him.
you leaned in. gave him time to pull away, to remember all the reasons this was a bad idea. but he didn't. he met you halfway, his lips crashing against yours with none of the careful hesitation from before. this was messy and desperate, his hand coming up to cup the back of your head, fingers tangling in your hair. he kissed you like he'd been holding back for too long, like all that careful control had finally snapped.
you shifted closer, practically climbing into his lap, and he made a sound against your mouth that went straight through you. his hands were everywhere, spanning your waist, sliding up your back, gripping like he was afraid you'd disappear if he loosened his hold even slightly.
"been thinking about this," he mumbled against your lips, barely pulling back enough to speak. "every night. hated myself for it but couldn't stop."
"me too," you admitted, kissing along his jaw. "i couldn't sleep. kept replaying everything."
"i lied about the texts i didn't respond to," he said, tilting his head to give you better access. "i read them. all of them before deleting. at like three am. read them over and over."
"why didn't you answer?"
"because i wanted to say things i shouldn't say. like how much i missed you. how i kept going to the lab hoping you'd be there. how seeing you at the party tonight fucking destroyed me even though i pretended i was fine." his hands tightened on your waist. "how i've been so fucking miserable without you."
you kissed him again, harder this time, swallowing his words. he responded immediately, pulling you fully into his lap now, and you could feel how much he wanted this, wanted you. it was overwhelming. intoxicating. the desperation in every touch, every small sound he made.
"we should," he said between kisses, "we should probably stop."
"do you want to stop?"
"no. god no." he pulled back just enough to look at you, his pupils blown, lips swollen. "but i'm drunk and you're drunk and tomorrow we're gonna regret—"
"i won't," you said firmly. "i won't regret this."
something shifted in his expression. softened. he touched your face with a gentleness that made your chest ache, thumb brushing across your cheekbone. "you're gonna break my heart," he said, not quite a question.
"i'm not."
"you will." but he kissed you anyway, softer this time. slower. like he was memorising the feel of you. "and i'm gonna let you. because i'm weak and pathetic and i want you so much i don't even care anymore."
"you're not weak."
"i am though." he rested his forehead against yours, eyes closing. "i'm so weak for you. it's embarrassing."
you could feel his exhaustion creeping in, the way his body was getting heavier against yours, his movements slowing. "come on," you said softly, standing and pulling him up with you. "let's get you somewhere you can actually sleep."
"don't wanna sleep," he protested, but let you guide him anyway. "wanna stay with you."
"you will. i'm not going anywhere."
you found an empty bedroom on the second floor, the door unlocked and the bed mercifully unoccupied. jake collapsed onto it immediately, pulling you down with him. he was asleep within minutes, his arms wrapped around you, face buried in your neck. his breathing evened out, deep and steady.
you should probably feel guilty. taking advantage of his drunken honesty, letting him confess things he'd normally keep locked away. but you were too tired, too overwhelmed by everything he'd said. i want you so badly it hurts. i've been so fucking miserable without you. you're gonna break my heart and i'm gonna let you.
you didn't have answers. didn't have promises you could make. didn't know how to fix the fundamental imbalance between you, the manipulation and hurt that had gotten you here.
but for now, in this quiet room with jake's warmth pressed against you, you could pretend tomorrow didn't exist. could pretend this was simple. just two people who wanted each other, tangled together in the dark, nothing more complicated than that.
you fell asleep still wearing your shoes, jake's arms tight around you, his heartbeat steady against your chest.
you woke to pale morning light filtering through unfamiliar curtains and the warm weight of jake still wrapped around you. for a disorienting moment you couldn't place where you were. then it came back in pieces. the party. the confrontation. jake's drunken confessions. falling asleep tangled together.
jake stirred against you, his breath catching as he woke. you felt the exact moment awareness returned, the way his body went tense. slowly, carefully, he pulled back just enough to look at you. his hair was a disaster, sticking up in every direction. his glasses sat crooked on the nightstand. his eyes were cautious but clear.
"hi," he said quietly.
"hi."
he didn't let go of you. didn't immediately scramble away or apologise or retreat into panic like last time. he just looked at you, searching your face for something.
"i said a lot of things last night," he finally said.
"yeah."
"i meant them." his voice was serious, steady despite the embarrassment colouring his cheeks. "i know i was drunk, and i probably shouldn't have said half of it, but. i meant it. all of it."
your heart kicked up. "jake—"
"i like you," he said, cutting you off gently. "i've liked you since that first night in the lab when you were stressed about your code and i got to actually help you with something. and it's been killing me trying to stay away from you because every time i see you i just. want you. so much that it scares me."
"why does it scare you?"
"because i don't know how to want someone this much and still protect myself." he shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow so he could see you better. "last time i didn't protect myself at all. i just. gave in. and then i panicked because it felt too big, too fast, and i didn't know how to handle it."
"and now?"
"now i'm still terrified," he admitted. "but i'm more scared of not trying. of walking away and spending the rest of college wondering what could have happened if i'd just. been brave enough to give you a real chance."
you felt something tight in your chest start to loosen. "i want that. a real chance. i want to do this right."
"yeah?"
"yeah." you reached up, brushing his messy hair back from his forehead. "i'm sorry. for all of it. the manipulation, the games, not being honest about what i wanted. you deserved better than that."
"i know," jake said simply. then, softer: "but i also know you were scared too. just in a different way."
he leaned down, kissing you with a gentleness that made your chest ache. different from last night's desperate intensity. this was slow, careful, almost questioning. you kissed him back, trying to pour everything you couldn't quite say into it. apology and promise and want all tangled together.
when he pulled back his eyes were dark, pupils blown. "i want to try again," he said. "properly this time. but i need you to be honest with me. about what you want. about what this is."
"i want you," you said. "not as a project or a conquest or whatever i convinced myself it was before. just you jake."
something in his expression softened. "okay," he said. "okay. we can work with that."
he kissed you again, deeper this time, and you felt his weight settle more fully over you. "i want to make it up to you," he murmured against your lips. "for running away before. for making you feel like you did something wrong when i was just scared."
"you don't have to—"
"i want to." he was already kissing down your neck, hands sliding under your shirt. "let me. please."
there was something in his voice, almost pleading, that made you nod. he smiled against your skin, helping you out of your clothes with more confidence than he'd had before. when you were bare beneath him he just. looked. taking his time, hands mapping your body like he was memorising every detail.
"you're so pretty," he said, almost reverent. "i thought about this. about you. so many times."
then he was moving lower, pressing kisses down your stomach, your hip bones, the inside of your thighs. when his breath ghosted over where you needed him most you couldn't help the small sound that escaped.
"tell me if anything's too much," he said, glancing up at you. then he lowered his mouth to you and your brain short-circuited.
he started slowly, almost tentatively, like he was learning you. his tongue moved in careful strokes, testing what made you gasp, what made your hips shift toward him. when he found the rhythm that had your fingers tightening in his hair, he made a low, satisfied sound against you that you felt everywhere.
"jake," you breathed, and he looked up at you through his lashes, pupils blown wide, lips glistening with your arousal.
"tell me," he said, voice rough. "tell me what feels good."
"that—" your words cut off as he did it again, tongue flicking over your clit with that same perfect pressure. "right there. just like that."
he was a quick learner. always had been. he catalogued every reaction, every sound you made, adjusting and refining. except this wasn't detached or analytical. this was hungry. desperate. he sucked your clit into his mouth and you moaned, loud and unrestrained, your thighs trembling on either side of his head.
"fuck, jake—"
"god, you taste so good," he mumbled against your pussy, barely pulling back enough to speak. his chin was wet, his glasses fogged slightly. "been thinking about this. wanted to do this right last time."
he was getting lost in it now, the careful control slipping into something messier, greedier. he alternated between focused attention on your clit and broad, indulgent strokes through your folds, like he couldn't decide between making you fall apart and simply savouring you. his tongue pushed inside you and you keened, your back arching off the bed.
"oh my god," you gasped. "jake, your mouth—"
he moaned against you, the vibration making your thighs clench around his head. he didn't seem to mind, just gripped your hips harder, pulled you closer, like he wanted to suffocate in your pussy. when his fingers joined his mouth, sliding through your wetness before pressing inside, you nearly sobbed.
"so wet," he murmured, almost to himself.
he crooked his fingers, finding that spot inside you that made you cry out, and worked it mercilessly while his tongue circled your clit. the dual sensation was overwhelming, pleasure building so fast you couldn't catch your breath. your fingers tightened in his hair, probably painful, but he just groaned and doubled his efforts.
"jake, i'm—fuck, i'm gonna—"
"i know," he said against you, his voice wrecked. "i can feel it. let go for me."
his fingers thrust deeper, faster, his mouth sucking hard on your clit, and you shattered. your orgasm hit like a shockwave, your whole body going taut as pleasure whited out your vision. you were dimly aware of the sounds you were making—high, desperate whimpers and moans—but you couldn't stop them.
jake moaned against you, the sound vibrating through your core, and he didn't let up. he worked you through it with devastating patience, his tongue lapping up everything you gave him like he was starving for it.
"jake," you gasped, trying to push at his head. "too much—"
but he just whined—actually whined—and gripped your thighs tighter, keeping them spread. "please," he mumbled against your pussy, his words muffled and desperate. "please, just one more. need to feel you come again. please."
"i can't—" but your protest died as he sealed his lips around your clit again, sucking gently, his fingers still working inside you. the overstimulation was almost painful but it was already shifting into something else, something that had you gasping and arching into his mouth instead of away from it.
he was making sounds now—desperate, needy whimpers and moans that vibrated against you. he was rutting against the mattress, you realised dimly, seeking friction while he lost himself in eating you out. his hair was a mess from your fingers, and he looked absolutely wrecked.
"so good," he whined between licks. "taste so good. could do this forever. please let me—need to make you come again—"
he was babbling now, drunk on you, his movements getting messier and more desperate. his tongue worked your clit in frantic circles while his fingers curled inside you, and the pleasure was building again impossibly fast. you were so sensitive that every touch felt electric, overwhelming.
"that's it," he gasped, feeling you start to tighten around his fingers. "yeah, give it to me. please, please—"
your second orgasm hit even harder than the first, ripping through you with an intensity that had you crying out his name, your thighs clamping around his head. jake moaned like he was the one coming, his hips jerking against the mattress as he worked you through it, tongue lapping up everything, fingers gentling but not stopping until you were actually sobbing from oversensitivity.
only then did he pull back, and when he finally lifted his head he looked completely gone. his face was flushed and wet, his eyes glazed and unfocused, his lips swollen and red. he looked drunk on you, his eyes unfocused and dark.
"fuck," he breathed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "you're so hot when you come. the sounds you make—"
you pulled him up into a kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, feeling the way he groaned into your mouth. his cock was rock hard against your thigh, leaking and desperate.
"your turn," you said, reaching down to wrap your hand around him.
he hissed at the contact, his hips jerking forward. "you don't have to—"
"i want to." you stroked him slowly, base to tip, feeling how hot and heavy he was in your palm. precum leaked from the slit and you used it to ease the glide. "you're so hard, jake. does eating my pussy turn you on that much?"
"fuck—" his voice broke. "yes. god, yes. you have no idea."
"tell me." you tightened your grip slightly and he whimpered. actually whimpered. "tell me what you were thinking about."
"i was thinking—" he gasped when your thumb swept over the sensitive head. "thinking about how good you taste. how you were shaking. how i could feel you clenching and i wanted—wanted to be inside you—"
"yeah?" you stroked him faster, loving the way his abs tensed, the way his thighs trembled. "you want to fuck me, jake?"
"so bad," he choked out.
you guided him between your legs, not quite inside yet, just letting the head of his cock slide through your wetness. he made a strangled sound, his whole body shuddering.
"we should—do you have—" he was trying to think through the haze of arousal, being responsible even now. "condom?"
"pill," you said. "i'm on the pill. and i'm clean. tested recently."
"me too. clean, i mean." his cock twitched against you, smearing precum through your folds. "can i—fuck, can i feel you bare?"
"yes," you breathed. "want to feel all of you."
he positioned himself at your entrance, the thick head pressing against you, and even that felt like too much. he pushed in slowly, so slowly, and the stretch was intense. you were wet enough that he slid in smoothly at first, but the sheer size of him was overwhelming.
"oh fuck," you gasped, your hands flying to his shoulders. "jake, you're so—you're so big—"
"i know, i'm sorry—" he froze, only halfway in. "am i hurting you?"
"no, don't stop," you urged, your legs wrapping around his hips to pull him deeper. "just—go slow. need to adjust."
he sank in another inch and you both moaned. he was splitting you open, stretching you so full you could barely breathe. when he finally bottomed out, buried completely inside you, he dropped his forehead to yours.
"oh my god," he choked out. "you're so tight. so fucking tight and wet and—i can't—"
"don't move yet," you managed, clenching around him involuntarily. he was so deep you could feel him everywhere, pressing against spots that made your toes curl. "just let me—fuck—"
"you feel incredible," he said, his voice shaking. "i've never—nothing compares to this."
you tightened around him experimentally and he swore, his hips jerking forward. "sorry, sorry," he gasped. "i'm trying to hold still but when you do that i want to—"
"want to what?" you rolled your hips slightly and he groaned, deep and guttural.
"want to move," he admitted, his control clearly fraying. "want to fuck you."
"then do it," you said.
something in him snapped. he pulled almost all the way out and thrust back in hard, the force of it punching a cry from your lips. he did it again, and again, finding a rhythm that was deep and relentless. the bed creaked beneath you, the headboard hitting the wall with each thrust.
"yes," you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders. "just like that—don't stop—"
"god," he panted, his voice wrecked. "you feel so good."
you looked down between your bodies and moaned at the sight—his thick cock disappearing into you, glistening with your wetness, stretching you obscenely. "jake, oh my god—"
"feel how deep i am?" he thrust particularly hard and you keened.
"yes—fuck yes—"
he wasn't being careful anymore, wasn't being gentle. he fucked into you with abandon, each thrust hitting that spot inside you that made sparks shoot up your spine. the sounds were obscene—skin slapping against skin, the wet slide of his cock, his grunts mixing with your moans.
"wanted this," he said against your neck, his breath hot. "wanted you. for so long."
"tell me more," you demanded, loving this unfiltered version of him.
"thought about this constantly," he admitted, his thrusts getting harder. "thought about having you like this. making you feel good. hearing you say my name."
"jake—" you were getting close again, that familiar tension building low in your belly.
"touch yourself," he said. "want to feel you come on my cock. need it. please."
you slid your hand between your bodies, finding your clit, already swollen and sensitive. the added stimulation made you clench around him and he swore, his rhythm faltering.
"that's it," he encouraged, his eyes fixed on where your fingers worked. "fuck, that's so hot. you're so hot. make yourself cum. let me feel it."
you worked your clit in tight circles, the pressure building faster with each thrust of his cock. he was so deep, hitting all the right spots, the slide of him inside you absolutely perfect. you were making sounds you'd never made before—high, desperate whines and gasps.
"close," you managed. "so close—"
"come for me," he urged, his voice strained. "squeeze my cock. want to feel your pussy milk me. come on, baby, let me feel it—"
the orgasm hit you like lightning, sudden and intense. you cried out his name, your whole body convulsing, your pussy clamping down on him rhythmically. waves of pleasure crashed over you, so intense you forgot how to breathe.
"oh fuck," jake choked out, his hips stuttering. "you're—i can feel you—i'm gonna—"
he tried to last, you could see it in the tension of his jaw, the way his arms were shaking. but your pussy was still fluttering around him, still clenching in aftershocks, and it was too much. he buried himself deep with a broken moan, his cock pulsing inside you as he came. you felt the warmth of it, felt him fill you up, and the intimacy of it made something in your chest crack open.
"fuck," he gasped, collapsing on top of you. "oh my god. that was—i've never—"
you wrapped your arms around him, both of you breathing hard, hearts racing in sync. he was still inside you, softening slowly, and you could feel his release leaking out around his cock.
"that was amazing," you said when you could finally speak. "you were amazing."
he lifted his head to look at you, his expression soft and vulnerable. "i think i might be falling for you," he said quietly. "is that okay? am i allowed to say that?"
your throat felt tight with emotion. "yeah. that's okay."
"good." he kissed you gently, sweetly. "because i don't think i could stop even if you told me to."
he pulled out carefully and you both hissed at the sensitivity. immediately he was gathering you into his arms, pulling you against his chest like he couldn't stand not touching you. you fit there perfectly, your head tucked under his chin.
"we should probably talk about this," you said after a while. "about us."
"we will," jake promised, his fingers tracing patterns on your spine. "but can we just stay like this for a bit first?"
"yeah." you pressed closer, breathing in the scent of him. "we can stay like this."
and you did. stayed tangled together as the morning light grew stronger, as the sounds of people leaving the party filtered up through the floor. his cum was still leaking out of you, making a mess on your thighs, but neither of you moved to clean up. you just held each other in this new, tentative peace.
jake changed almost overnight once you started dating. it was like giving him permission to want you openly had flipped some switch in his brain. suddenly he was everywhere.
he'd show up at your door before your 9 am lecture with coffee, your exact order memorised, his hair still messy from sleep because he'd woken up early just to see you. he'd kiss you goodbye and then text you five minutes later with some random thought he forgot to mention. did you know that octopuses have three hearts? just learnt that. thought you should know.
in class he'd sit next to you instead of in his usual back corner spot, his knee always pressed against yours under the desk. sometimes his hand would find its way to your thigh, just resting there, his thumb tracing absent patterns while he tried to focus on the lecture. you'd catch him staring at you instead of his laptop, and when you'd raise an eyebrow he'd just smile, unashamed.
"you're distracting," he'd whisper.
"i'm literally just sitting here."
"i know. it's very distracting."
study sessions became impossible. you'd be explaining a concept and he'd lean over to kiss your shoulder, your neck, the corner of your mouth. "jake, i'm trying to help you."
"i know, keep going," he'd say, already doing it again.
"you're not even listening."
"i am. you were talking about. um." he'd grin sheepishly. "okay i wasn't listening. but you're just so pretty when you're focused."
your friends noticed immediately. yunjin had taken one look at jake's arm slung around your shoulders at lunch, the way he was playing with your hair while talking to beomgyu, and pulled you aside.
"okay so he's like. obsessed with you," she said. "it's actually kind of cute. in a golden retriever kind of way."
"he's not obsessed."
"babe, he just offered to carry your bag even though your apartment is literally three minutes away. and he's been smiling at you for the past ten minutes like you hung the moon. it's obsessed behaviour."
but she said it fondly, and later you caught her telling beomgyu that she'd never seen you this relaxed before. "she's not performing," yunjin had said. "she's just. being."
and she was right. with jake you didn't have to strategise or calculate or perform anything. he wanted you. obviously, openly, without games or subtext. when you showed up to his place in sweats and no makeup, he'd light up like you'd dressed up specifically for him. when you stole his hoodies, he'd just buy more so you could steal those too.
"i like seeing you in my clothes," he'd admitted once, pulling you close. "makes me feel like. i don't know. like you're mine."
"possessive," you'd teased.
"is that bad?"
"no," you'd said, kissing him. "i like it."
jake's friends had their own reactions. you'd been nervous meeting them properly, remembering that disastrous first encounter at the party. but they'd welcomed you easily, even if they did give jake endless shit.
"dude, you're so whipped," his roommate said, watching jake immediately get up to refill your drink without being asked.
"and?" jake had said, completely unbothered.
"and nothing, it's just funny. remember when you said you'd never be that guy who drops everything for someone? and now you're literally—"
"finish that sentence and i'm not helping you with discrete math anymore."
but he was smiling when he said it, and later his roommate told you that jake talked about you constantly. "it's honestly annoying how happy he is."
the thing was, you were happy too. unexpectedly, overwhelmingly happy. jake made you sharper somehow, more focused. when you studied together you actually retained information because he made learning feel collaborative instead of competitive. he celebrated your successes like they were his own, staying up with you before big presentations, bringing you stress-relief snacks, sending you encouraging texts.
and you did the same for him. learnt his patterns, his tells when he was overwhelmed. you'd show up at the lab with dinner when you knew he'd been working for hours. you'd run your fingers through his hair when he was stressed, and he'd melt into your touch, all that tension draining away.
"you make everything easier," he'd told you once, late at night when you were both too tired to filter. "like the world's less heavy when you're around."
"that's the cheesiest thing you've ever said."
"i know. i mean it though."
weeks blurred together in the best way. stolen kisses between classes. jake's hand always finding yours. the way he'd kiss you goodbye at your door and then text you goodnight five minutes later even though he lived one floor up. movie nights that turned into makeout sessions on your couch, jake's glasses getting in the way until you carefully removed them, setting them aside so you could kiss him properly.
he got clingy when he was tired, wrapping around you like a koala, mumbling into your neck. "don't leave."
"i'm just going to get water."
"too far. stay."
"jake, i'll be gone thirty seconds."
"thirty seconds too long."
you'd laugh, running your fingers through his hair until he fell asleep, and feel something warm and settled in your chest. this was what it was supposed to feel like.
the beach had been jake's idea. "there's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight," he'd said, eyes lighting up behind his glasses. "and i know this spot that's perfect for stargazing. barely any light pollution. we could bring blankets, make a whole thing of it?"
so here you were, sitting on a blanket in the sand while the ocean crashed softly in the background. the sky was impossibly clear, stars scattered across it like someone had spilt diamonds. jake lay with his head in your lap, one of your hands playing with his hair while he pointed up at the sky.
"okay, so see those seven stars there?" he traced a pattern with his finger. "that's the big dipper, which is part of ursa major. but if you follow those two stars at the edge, they point directly to polaris. the north star."
you hummed, only half listening to the actual words. you were too busy watching him. the way his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, how animated his expressions were when he talked about something he loved. the moonlight caught on his features, highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, the soft curve of his lips.
"and that one—" he was still going, completely absorbed. "that's cassiopeia. she was a queen in greek mythology who bragged about being more beautiful than the sea nymphs, so poseidon punished her by placing her in the sky upside down. you can see how the constellation kind of looks like a W? that's her throne."
"jake," you said softly.
"oh, and if you look over there, that really bright one? that's actually venus, not a star. common misconception. planets don't twinkle like stars do because—"
you leaned down and kissed him, cutting off his rambling mid-sentence. he made a surprised sound but responded immediately, his hand coming up to cup the back of your neck. when you pulled back he followed your lips automatically, trying to chase another kiss.
"you were saying?" you teased.
"i—" he blinked up at you, slightly dazed. "what was i saying?"
"something about venus."
"right. venus. because of the. um." he lost his train of thought as you leaned down again, kissing him slower this time. "you're distracting me from the meteor shower."
"am i?"
"yeah. very effectively." but he was smiling, pulling you down for another kiss.
you shifted, moving to straddle his lap properly. jake's hands immediately found your waist, sliding under your shirt to rest against bare skin.
the kissing turned heated quickly. jake made these small, needy sounds that drove you crazy, his hands roaming over your back, your sides, anywhere he could reach. when you rolled your hips experimentally he gasped into your mouth, his grip tightening.
"fuck," he whispered. "you're gonna kill me."
you kissed down his jaw, his neck, feeling his pulse racing under your lips. his hands had moved to your hips now, guiding your movements, and you could feel how affected he was. "still thinking about the stars?" you teased.
"what stars?" he pulled you down for another bruising kiss, one hand tangling in your hair. "can't think about anything except you."
you ground down harder and jake made a sound that was almost a whine, his head falling back against the blanket. "please," he gasped. "please, i need—"
suddenly, the loud, insistent beeping of his watch interrupted the moment.
you both froze.
jake's face went bright red as he fumbled with his wrist. "oh my god. oh my god. it's my fitness watch. it thinks i'm exercising because my heart rate—" another beep. "make it stop."
you couldn't help it. you burst out laughing, burying your face in his shoulder while his watch continued its concerned beeping about his elevated heart rate. "it's not funny," jake groaned, still trying to silence the watch. "this is so embarrassing."
"it's a little funny."
"my watch just cockblocked me. there's nothing funny about that."
you kissed his jaw, still giggling. "i think it's cute. your heart rate got that high just from kissing me?"
"you were not just kissing me, you were—" he made a frustrated noise. "yes. okay. yes. you have that effect on me. are you happy?"
"very." you settled against his chest, feeling his heartbeat still racing under your ear. the watch had finally stopped beeping. "for what it's worth, my heart's doing the same thing."
"yeah?" he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.
"yeah."
you lay there together, the ocean providing a steady soundtrack, the stars scattered above you. jake pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "i love you," he said softly. "in case that wasn't obvious from the way my watch literally staged an intervention."
you lifted your head to look at him. his eyes were soft, open, vulnerable in the moonlight. "i love you too," you said, meaning it completely.
he smiled, that full, genuine smile that made his eyes crinkle at the corners. then he kissed you again, sweet and unhurried, his hands gentle on your face.
"we should probably head back soon," you murmured eventually. "it's getting late."
"five more minutes," jake said, pulling you closer. "just. let me hold you for five more minutes."
you settled back against him, his arms wrapped securely around you, both of you looking up at the vast sky. you'd come here to watch a meteor shower but you'd been too distracted by each other to notice if any had passed.
somehow, you didn't mind at all.
"hey," jake said softly. "thank you."
"for what?"
"for giving me another chance. for being patient with me while i figured my shit out. for. this. all of it." his arms tightened around you. "i know i was difficult at first."
"you weren't difficult. you were protecting yourself. i get it now."
"still. you could have given up on me. but you didn't."
"of course i didn't," you said, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "you're worth it. you've always been worth it."
jake made a soft, overwhelmed sound, burying his face in your hair. "i'm gonna marry you someday," he mumbled. "just so you know."
"jake—"
"not now. obviously not now. but someday. when we've graduated and figured our lives out and i can actually afford a ring. i'm gonna marry you."
you felt your chest go tight with emotion. "okay," you whispered. "someday."
"yeah. someday."
you stayed like that until the cold started seeping in, until you were both shivering despite being pressed together. finally, reluctantly, you packed up the blanket and headed back to campus. jake held your hand the entire walk, occasionally pulling you close to kiss you at random intervals.
"what was that for?" you asked after the third surprise kiss.
"just because," he said, smiling. "because i can. because i love you. do i need more reasons?"
"no," you said, kissing him back. "no more reasons needed."
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𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr ˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱
KISS ME WHEN YOU SWING BY
between a smug academic rival, a masked hero you cannot stop thinking about, and a symbiote threat getting closer by the day, your life is quickly becoming unmanageable. gojo satoru keeps ruining your peace, spiderman keeps stealing your heart, and neither of them seems willing to tell you the truth. as secrets pile up and the city tips further into danger, you begin to realise the person breaking your heart and the one trying to save it may not be two different people at all.
pairing: nerd!jo + spiderman!jo x reader
content: mdni, fluff + crack + angst + smut, academic rivals to lovers (a bit), college slop + coffee slop, a little miscommunication, secret identity reveal, friends with benefits kind of, satoru and reader are bad at feelings, satoru makes bad choices, foot job, p in v, cunnilingus, angst (?) with a happy ending !!, some action scenes 55k+
note: the old title was “the end of the world” or smth so take a shot everytime the world ending is mentioned in the fic! thank you for reading and i’ll see you at the end for more yap :3
Some people say the world ended December 12th, 2012 and that we’re all living in purgatory. The dead internet theory, Trisha Payta giving birth every time a significant member of society dies, that triangle in the middle of fuckass nowhere, there are pointers that this can’t be the reality we live in.
Not that you care because for all you know, the world ended for you on March 15th at 10:12am when you first met Gojo Satoru.
It was impossible to not know him beforehand, not when he’s friends with your friends. And that distinction matters, their friend rather than your friend because you don’t associate with him, not willingly. In fact, you would have been beyond overjoyed if he remained that unnamed face sitting back row of your neuropharmacology tutorial class, and not the persistent nuisance that he’s grown to be.
Because ever since the world has ended and you’ve matched the elusive name to face, Gojo has managed to worm his way into your life. He’s there, slinging his arm over Shoko’s shoulder as if you both aren’t glaring into the side of his head for it, dragging his friend Geto over too, the long haired boy at least having the decency to smile apologetically though not enough decency to leave.
Shoko never tells him off, which you originally assumed was her one and only tragic personality flaw until you eventually learned they’d been childhood best friends for almost twenty years. After that, it became easier to file her reactions away as a chronic, lifelong exasperation, the kind that slowly builds over decades until the only move left is to sigh and let the idiot sit down.
But did that idiot have to be Gojo?
Ever since he entered your orbit that horrible day in March, you can’t seem to ignore his existence. You see those irritating thick-framed glasses around every corner on campus, his messy white hair something tucked beneath the hood of his university jumper sometimes not, but always ruffled like he has just rolled out of bed. His laugh follows you around, a persistent soundtrack bleeding into every conversation you try to have with your actual friends. He’s always there, hands in pockets, bulky backpack slung over both shoulders, slippers padding lazily against the pavement like he’s just walked straight out of his apartment and into your line of sight. “Relax.” Shoko tells you one afternoon as you aggressively wiped down a table, the cafe quieter now the day was slipping into that evening quiet. “You won’t have to see him ever again now that the semester is over. You can unclench.” Her advice only makes you snort, giving the table one last swipe before straightening to look at her busied behind the counter. “Not true if you don’t stop inviting him to everything. What made you even think of bringing him with us to the club last Friday?” Your best friend opens her mouth as if to defend him and that alone is enough for you to gag. “Shoko, he showed up in a dress shirt. And a messenger bag. To the fucking club!” “Not too much on him, he was coming straight from night classes.” Like that helps his case. Like being top of the cohort, effortlessly breezing through the same exams that require endless all-nighters from you, isn’t enough to satiate his greedy appetite. Like the universe hasn’t already gift-wrapped him with endless talent, now he has to go above and beyond and take night classes too. “Yeah, well. You need to separate your personal life from your work life. Work-life balance.” “I don’t see how that makes sense,” Shoko retorts drily, speaking more to the sink than you as she washes up the last of the cups. “Clubbing and Gojo are both my personal life. If anything, you’re the one bringing him into our work life right now.” “You’re the one that said being his friend is a full-time job.” She sighs. “Minimal wage, too.” You weave through the tables and duck behind the counter, tossing the rag into a discarded pile for the night staff to deal with, and squeeze Shoko’s shoulders as you pass behind her in the cramped space. “Hey,” you start, voice sweet. “Let’s cut him off.” She shoves you off good-mannerly, pushing you again in the direction of the apron rack to help you with the knot. “Cut him some slack, won’t you? Or don’t. Just forget about him. Like I said, now that the semester is over, you won’t have any reason to see him ever again.” “That’s honestly up to you. Sure, I won’t see him in classes anymore but are you going to spontaneously invite him to lunch again? He’s not coming to our Saturday cheese tasting plans, is he? What about that aquarium we wanted to check out?” Her hands pause before she loosens the knot and turns so you can untie her apron in return. “I’ll tell him no to both.” “Oh, so he asked?” “You have no idea.” As if sensing the rant already bubbling up your throat, Shoko quickly hands you your phone from under the counter. “By the way, your phone’s been buzzing the entire shift. You’re not still talking to that guy, are you?”
You take it, dragging the screen down to scroll through missed notifications. “Who?” “The double texter.” There’s the typical ones you’d expect, some Outlook emails about irrelevant study tips, some random Twitter notifications from the many inactive accounts you’ve abandoned but never bothered logging out of, and miscellaneous app alerts you swipe away without reading. Buried beneath them though, is the familiar little red icon from that forum app you absolutely should have deleted months ago, a fresh reply sitting under the thread that’s been irritating you all week. Your mouth tightens and you swipe it away before you can be sucked away into the ragebait. “Y/N?” “Hm?” You look up, realising Shoko is still waiting for a response. “Oh, no. This is… a guy from Hinge.” The hesitation isn’t lost on her but she gives you grace and doesn’t press for the truth. “Right. Just be careful, alright? I don’t know what is going on in this city anymore but there’s been way too many incidents on the news about people going missing. You know it’s bad when all the news channels are all suddenly interviewing men in tight spandex suits.” You snort, tucking your phone away to finish clocking out of your shift. “‘Men’ like there’s multiple. You mean that one spider guy, right? His superhero name is uncreative as hell.” “He shoots webs from his wrists and climbs walls, what else would he call himself?” “Anything but the first thing a five year old could come up with. That’s like pointing to a man who can fly and calling him Flying Man.” Shoko locks the cafe doors behind, the metal click satisfying after a long shift. She gives the handle two firm tugs just to be sure because the city is a mess apparently, then steps back so she can flip the sign to CLOSED, the glass catching a smear of gold from the streetlights outside. “Superhero names are hardly creative these days.” “We’re losing the ancient texts.” By now, evening has settled in properly, the campus washed in that dusky blue-orange light that makes everything look prettier than it is. You stop to take a few photos of the sunset, then slip your phone away and breathe in the cool breeze as Shoko falls into step beside you, the two of you cutting across campus out toward the busier street. “What ancient texts? There’s literally someone called Superman because he’s super.” You roll your eyes. “That is so not helping your case.” “It is helping my case because it proves people like straightforward names. Also, it helps with making merch.” “How can you be so confident and be so wrong?” Shoko bumps your shoulder lightly as you walk, enough to make you sway half a step before you right yourself and return the gesture. Cars hiss past at the intersection ahead, headlights briefly washing over the footpath. Somewhere behind you, someone shouts a name across the road and is followed by a burst of noisy laughter. There’s a kind of peace at this twilight, a sense of calm that feels despairing. “Are you sure you don’t want a lift?” Shoko asks as you both slow to a step, effectively dragging you out of a potential spiral. “I can’t imagine the bus being your favourite form of transport.” You blink at her before shaking your head, reorganising your thoughts. “It’s fine. Besides, I know you have that thing with Utahime later.” “It’s not a thing. We’re just going to a jazz bar.” “Sure, okay. But just the two of you.” “We did invite you,” Shoko reminds you with an unimpressed look. “You’re the one that declined.” “I wasn’t going to third wheel again.”
“Utahime would kill you for saying that.” “I’d be more worried that she’d kill herself if she found out you’re not labelling it as a date.” Shoko kicks a loose rock on the pavement, avoiding your eyes. “That’s because it’s not a date. It’s a jazz bar outing.” “Jazz is like, inherently romantic. Haven’t you heard ‘Careless Whispers’?” “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve said all day. ‘Careless Whispers’ is about a man cheating,” “Wait, are you serious?” You shake your head to dispel the song from playing in your mind, reining in the conversation before she can successfully deflect. “And I doubt that’s the dumbest thing I’ve said all day. I think I’ve had some better bangers.” “True, the dumbest thing that left your mouth was probably Gojo. You know, for someone who claims to hate him, you sure do talk about Gojo a lot. Don’t groan at me, I’m just saying.” “I’m complaining about him. That has to be different.” Shoko tilts her head, studying you up and down as she considers your words. She ends her evaluation with a hum. “I don’t know, people usually don’t spend that much time thinking about someone they actually don’t care about.” The implications are so frankly absurd the only thing you can do is wish her well. “I’m going to kill you.” She raises her hands in surrender, already backing away in the direction of the parking lot.“Anyway! There’s no reason to complain about him anymore. Live a little!” “Please,” you scoff. “Like I’d ever willingly think about Gojo ever again. You don’t need to tell me that.” She laughs softly, catching the words just before they disappear with the wind. You watch her back for a few seconds longer before blinking out of your thoughts. For some reason, the sound follows you all the way to the bus stop. Realistically, Shoko’s words have some truth to them. It is rather easy to forget all about Gojo and his crimes against humanity (you) when you don’t see him over the two-week break. Instead, you go to concerts with Utahime, visit art museums with Nanami and gossip and giggle over brunch with Shoko. There's a peaceful monotony as days blend into each other, until one morning when your alarm rings at an hour once familiar to you and you get up to start another semester. Checking your timetable one more time, you sigh at your misfortune. It was inevitable that your courses wouldn’t always align with the rest of your friends. In fact, it was a miracle that you even had classes with Shoko last semester considering she wasn’t even doing the same degree. You shouldn’t be too disappointed after all, when you posted a story asking if anyone else was taking this course, a few people you vaguely recognised had swiped up. They're mostly acquaintances, people you’ve met once from parties and events, but it’s miles better than being alone. You double-check the lecture hall number one last time outside the building, hoping the extra second will magically give you the cure to the brewing headache at your temples, before you finally push open the door. The buzz of conversation hits you immediately. Rows of students fill the lecture hall, voices overlapping as people reunite after the break, bags dropping onto chairs and laptops snapping open performatively. A few heads turn when you walk in, not unusual unfortunately, but you pretend not to notice, adjusting the strap of your tote as you scan the room. You spot some familiar faces sitting toward the back, relief loosening the tight knot in your chest as you begin to climb the steps. The smile on your face drops the moment your eyes drift—those traitorous things—to the front row.
Gojo slouches in his seat, the tiny fold-out table already pulled out in front of him, bag resting on top. He’s the only one sitting front row and centre, and considering how immersed he is with his phone, you doubt he has any plans to share the space with anyone else. He causally lifts his glasses with his finger in a way you thought perfectly suits his pretentious personality. His hood is thrown over his head, feet stretching out in front of him. One of his hoodie strings is kept between his lips as he absentmindedly chews at it, so relaxed, so casual, so oblivious to the world ending around you. You freeze. Someone tries to enter the hall and almost bumps into you, and it’s this near collision that finally jolts you into motion. Your instincts kick in and you hastily duck your head, climbing up the stairs where your friends are waiting. Nobara waves you closer, tucking her feet closer to her chest to let you into the row. “Hey, Y/N! It's been a while.” “Hey,” you say, hoping it comes off casual and not dripped in fear. “Yeah, I didn’t think you were doing this course too. What a coincidence. Hey, can you give me a second?" When you sink into your chair, you whip out your phone and frantically type away. you: no fucking way im going to kill myself shoko: ik u have some crazy attachment issues but u’ll get over it i promise utahime: aww i think its cute u miss us so much if not a little pathetic you: i dont give a gaf about that anymore u wouldnt believe who else is taking this course shoko: we’re not the fucking akinator guy y/n utahime: i could be if u gave me more hints guy or girl? are they a youtuber? you: it’s gojo utahime: wtf spoilers?? wait gojo oh my god LMAOO shoko: oh ure definitely gonna tweak Your eyes only tear away from Gojo when the lecturer enters the room and when the door closes behind him, you feel the sudden, irrational urge to bolt for the exit. Because was it just your imagination or was there a sense of finality to that door slam? Gojo was meant to be a nightmare for one semester, a pain in the ass for one chapter of your life and yet here he is, the back of his head just as infuriating as the front. “Welcome to neuropharmacology3211.” When the lecturer begins the lesson, you watch as Gojo barely sits up to listen. “I’ll pass along the attendance sheet now. Just for everyone’s sanity I need to let you know that these lectures aren’t compulsory, however we do encourage you to attend.” You panic. An attendance sheet. With your name on it. For all to see. You watch in despair as it begins its slow journey across your side of the lecture hall. Mournfully, you tick off your name with Nobara’s pen and pass the paper along, trying not to imagine the inevitable moment it reaches the front row.
Around and around it goes until it stops at the last person, the only person sitting in the front row on the left side of the hall. Gojo absentmindedly spins his pen, flipping the paper to the other side when he can’t find his name. He runs a finger down the list as the lecturer drones though you doubt either you or Gojo are actually paying attention. From this distance you can’t make out his subtle movements but at one point, he stops spinning his pen and looks up, glancing briefly around the room. You immediately duck down, finding something immensely interesting about your laptop. You don’t look up until Nobara elbows you gently and asks if you need any ibuprofen. You shake your head, daring to cautiously peek over the edge of your laptop. Gojo continues to face the front and you let out a small sigh of relief, straightening just enough to give off your best impression of someone who has been paying attention the entire time. It's the usual mandatory assessment outline, a rundown on everything that actually mattered in the course: midterms, finals, biweekly quizzes. You mindlessly add the dates to your calendar until the professor highlights the missing 20% of the final grade. “And finally, there is a pair presentation due in week 7.” Your eyes twitch and you cast your gaze back to the front. “The details of the assessment will be explained during this week’s lab so ask your questions then.” A group project. Even worse, in pairs. Your eyes slide instinctively toward Gojo and the dread in your stomach collapses in on itself, condensing into something dense and horrible. “Your pair and topic will be emailed to you later today.” The professor continues and when groans echo across the room, they only chuckle, undeterred. “Diversity is good for group work. Your colleagues won’t always be your friend.” You glance around the room. How many people were in this class? Many, so many. What are the chances you get paired with Gojo? Slim, at least you hope so. The moment the lecture ends, you shove your laptop into your bag, and flash Nobara an apologetic smile as you book it for the door. You keep your head down, both hands clutching your tote as it digs into your shoulder while you weave through the crowd spilling into the aisle. Freedom appears as a bright light before you, and you almost think you’re safe when— “No way.” Your pace stutters and against every instinct in your body screaming at you to keep walking, you freeze. “Y/N?” Someone knocks into your shoulder on the way out and before you can use the momentum to slip out with the rest of the crowd, a hand grabs your arm and pulls you to the side. You glare up at Gojo’s stupid face. He peers down at you, all ego and cocky exterior, like he’s discovered something entertaining. He sniffles, rubs his nose and pushes up his glasses all in one making you grimace at his apparent lack of hygiene. “God, why did it have to be you?” you grumble, more to yourself than him. You shake off his hold, pressing your arm to your side to prevent any further contact. “Don’t touch me.” “I knew I saw your name on the attendance sheet.” He smirks down at you, taking in the familiar sight of your frown. “Come on, smile a little. You’re making it look like I'm extorting you.” “Don't talk to me like we’re familiar, Gojo.” “Aren’t we?” “We aren't.” “We talk though.” “You talk, I try my best to ignore you.” “We have mutual friends.” He points out next as if this hasn’t been the sole reason for your pain and suffering. God bless Shoko’s kind, patient heart for putting up with him, but if you had to see his face at another outing you might decide to wrap your fingers around your neck and squeeze instead of staying.
“Unfortunately.” His lips only curl into that irritating and carefree smile, worse when you decide begrudgingly that it could also pass as charming. Any potential compliment dies immediately when he speaks again. “What crawled up your ass and died?” “Don’t talk about my ass.” “Come on, are you still being a sore loser over finals? You had two whole weeks to get over that.” That gets you. You exhale sharply, eyes narrowing dangerously as you lean forward to poke at his chest. “First of all,” you begin, “I am not being a sore loser over finals. The one making a big deal of things is you so if you’re trying to get my attention, there are far less tedious ways.” His eyebrows shoot up. “You think I'm trying to get your attention?” “Is there another reason why you won’t leave me alone, Gojo?” You sigh like it’s the most obvious thing. “Look, you’re not my type and that’s okay. Not everyone can be. But seriously, sticking to me like an annoying bug isn’t going to fix that. If anything, it worsens your chances, not that you had any to begin with.” He waits and when you only seethe, he prompts you, “And?” You blink, temporarily off guard. “That’s it.” “Then why did you start with‘first of all’?” Your eyes narrow. “It’s like talking to a genie with some of you people.” His grin is too easy, too casual as if you weren’t fighting for your life to restrain from murdering him, as if he isn’t standing between you and your only exit from this hell. “Hey, I just wanted to clarify,” he says, raising his hands up in a gesture of surrender that only grinds your gears further. “No need to get so pissy. It’s not a good look on you.” You grit your teeth. “No defense for the allegations though, I see.” Gojo looks around with a hum, eyes doing a lazy sweep of the emptying lecture hall, hands lowering slightly. “You’d think after all this time, you’d finally get the hint.” He casts his gaze back to you expectantly, failing to elaborate on his cryptic message and you take a moment to think. There were many things he isn’t exactly subtle about:
flaunting his academic prowess
how much he seems to thrive off your annoyance
You pick the second. “What, that you get off to a pretty woman telling you to kill yourself?”
He presses his lips together, as if giving it serious thought. Your face immediately twists into something that can only be described as a grimace, and he laughs.
“Do you usually spend a lot of time thinking about what gets me off?”
“Do you always have to ask me stupid questions?”
“Only because you always find a way to make the answers fun.”
“I'm telling you this now, Gojo. You’ve outgrown the age where teasing the girl you like works,” you shoot back with a snarl, unable to hide your frustration.
For a moment, something in his expression shifts.
Gojo’s eyes drop and you feel his gaze burn down your neck and drag from your top to your shoes. You can’t help but shiver at the intensity of his stare and maybe he notices because he scoffs, looking away. “That hurts my reputation. You’re not my type.”
Your eye twitches. “Bat for the other team, do you?”
“How egotistical. You think just because a guy doesn’t like you he must be gay?”
“Well, there’s definitely a higher likelihood."
“You must have tested that with a small sample size because that doesn’t sound statistically significant.”
You roll your eyes, shifting your weight to edge closer to the door. “Of course you can’t help but be a fucking nerd about everything."
“Whining doesn’t exactly help your side of the argument."
“No, but it might stop me from reaching over and punting your head in.”
Gojo whistles low, the noise sharper now that most students have left. “Are you purposefully testing me? I thought we established that I liked girls who keep me on my toes.”
You wrinkle your nose. “There’s a difference between keeping someone on their toes and wanting to throttle them.” “You better be careful because it's a thinner line than most for me.” “You are disgusting.” “That doesn’t explain why you keep talking to me, though.” “Like I have a choice. You’re the one who grabbed my arm. If I miss my bus because of you doing whatever this is with me, I will put you in the ground.” “You’re still here though.” You sigh, exasperated. “Because you’re standing in the fucking doorway, you idiot.” “Oh,” he says, but makes absolutely no move to step aside. You inhale slowly through your nose, channeling a calm you most certainly do not feel. “Move.” “Say please.” Your smile turns dangerously sweet. “I said move.” “Still not hearing the magic word.” You give up, sensing you’ll only continue to lose. Before you can suck it up and brush past him, dreading even the brief contact of his shoulder against yours, he steps closer. His gaze flutters down for a moment, something foreign passing over his face as he clears his throat. It makes your heart seize at how unfamiliar he looks, though that fades quickly when his eyes snap back up, that irritating grin firmly in place. “Actually, I was thinking. Are you free this—” Before he can finish, a loud tune sounds from his pocket and he groans, abandoning his words to pull out his phone. The smile that had been on his face scrunches up, and he absentmindedly types a response with one hand before looking back up at you. “My bad. I was going say if you’re—” But in the few seconds his attention is elsewhere, you’ve already bolted. “Hey, wait!” His voice chases after you and you press on, echoing faintly against the tiled floors as you round the corner at a pace that’s just shy of running. “I’m going to count this as my win if you run away from me!” You jam your airpods into your ears with unnecessary force, scrolling blindly until music floods your head and drowns him out completely. If the world was going to convince you it wasn’t about to end, it better start looking up for you soon.
Unfortunately, the world really doesn’t give a shit about what you think because your karmic debt piles high. Shoko had abandoned you in your time of need, leaving you to tackle the shift alone. You close the cafe door behind you, turning the key so that the handle doesn’t rattle under your palm, and sniff when the cold air immediately bites at your face. Your scarf comes up instinctively, burying your nose and mouth as a harsh wind cuts through the street now that you’re no longer protected by the warmth of the cafe. What a long day. You clutch your scarf as it flutters wildly until the wind settles, the evening air growing still enough that it stops stinging your cheeks. Nothing particularly bad had even happened today. It wasn’t overly busy though it was far from quiet. You even managed to pass the long hours when some old friends showed up, though the conversation had only lasted as long as it took to make their coffee. But when it’s still or in the moments when you wait for a customer’s order, you feel something unpleasant settle in. The air feels too stale, time clicking by too slowly and the sensation of the ground moving beneath is unnerving. Your eyes refuse to move at times and you find yourself zoning out at nothing, hands moving in autopilot as you make drink after drink after drink, the repetition slowly pulling you apart one seam at a time. Your feet find their way to the bus stop and you breathe out slowly, mist curling into the cold evening air as you look up to watch it dissipate. How freeing would it be to be up there? The wind in your hair, biting cold against your nose and the tips of your ears, the rush of air in your lungs, and that terrifying exhilaration that comes from rising and falling and rising again. You imagine being weightless, being untouchable, being above it all and finally free. You shake that nonsense thought away. It’s just one of those bad days. The bus pulls up, blowing exhaust and humid air, and you’ve only just placed a foot onto the bus when a loud crash sounds to your left. You look over just as something flies past and slams into the bus stop, the metal denting under the immense weight. It’s not your finest moment but you duck, covering your head, and let out a scream as the loud noise deafens you. The bus drives off in the chaos, certainly breaking several traffic laws, and you curse the driver when you realise you’ve been abandoned.
Peeking an eye open as the dust settles, you lower your arms and come face to face with the heavy object that had slammed against the stand.
Slowly, you ask, “...Spiderman?”
The blue and white figure coughs, hitting his chest with his fist. “You called?”
Spiderman looks up and freezes. It might be your imagination but he looks even more winded when his eyes lock on yours. Actually, you’re certain it’s your imagination because his mask completely obscures his facial expressions, save for the slight widening of the white parts indicating his eyes.
You crawl forward a little. “Shit, you went down hard. Do you have a concussion?”
The superhero runs a battered hand down his face, stopping only when it slides down to cover his mouth, and lets out a muffled groan. “You have got to be fucking kidding.”
You blink. “Excuse me?”
Before he can say anything else, a wet, splintering crack sounds from across the street.
You look over your shoulder as he tilts to look around you. A man staggers out of gate five beside the university-run pharmacy, though stagger might be too human a word for it. Something black and shining writhes over his body, swallowing him from the neck down like spilled tar, except tar doesn’t pulse. It stretches over his arms in twitching strands and thickens into jagged unnatural muscle, back hunching with a sickening pop as he lurches forward.
You rub your eyes and stare again. “I know the feeling,” Spiderman says, pushing himself upright with a wince. “That’s my exact review too.” The thing’s head jerks in your direction. Spiderman notices before you do, wringing out his hands and doing some jumping jacks on the spot. “And that’s my cue to ask you very calmly to start running.” When the thing charges at you, there’s no time to pretend to be composed. You let out a noise somewhere between a gasp and a shriek and fling yourself backward as the thing barrels forward. A web shoots from behind you and lands on the bus stop-frame, yanking Spiderman into its path just in time to take the hit instead. He gets absolutely bodied. “Jesus Christ,” you blurt as he falls back further down the road. Spiderman slings to grab onto a nearby, and luckily deserted car, and slams it into the side of the villain, picking himself up in the few seconds he has to breathe when the figure crashes into a nearby building. “I know,” he wheezes, dusting off his suit. “Everyone says that when they see me. I’m basically the second coming of that guy.” “Are you okay? Do you need… backup?” You look around at the site. Cars have started swerving and backing away to avoid the scene and bystanders are ducked somewhere safe. You alone remain inside the heavily damaged bus stop a few metres from where the figure is now pulling itself onto his feet. Realistically, you should do the smart thing and hide, too. But one feeble attempt to get on your feet tells you what you already know; that you’ve managed to fuck up your ankle in your panic. Spiderman has his hands thrown up. “Why are you not running? I told you to run.” “Why are you losing?” “I’m not losing,” he snaps, affronted. “Are you always this difficult? Listen to the city’s superhero and get out of here.” “If this is my superhero, then I’m already cooked.” The creature roars and charges again, much alike a bull seeing red and you’re the unfortunate sole on the ground in its path. Spiderman seems to have enough sense to conclude there’s something wrong with your body and not your head as he swears, shooting two webs in quick succession, one to a traffic light pole and the other to the creature’s arm, trying to stabilise himself to swing the heavy villain sideways. It works for maybe half a second before the pole lifts off the ground and Spiderman sighs before being the one flung away. You watch as Spiderman hits the ground hard, again. Thankfully, it’s enough distraction for the figure to leave you alone but you can only grimace especially when he picks himself up. Spiderman pushes up on one knee, clearly trying to buy time, and calls, “Hey, big guy, quick question before you maul me. Is this like, a skincare thing? Because I think whatever routine you’re on is clogging your pores. There’s a pharmacy right over there. Want me to get you some pimple patches?”
The figure ignores his provocation by charging forward again and it’s you that looks back over your shoulder at the pharmacy. Frankly put, your trust in the masked vigilante is at an all time low and if there’s any chance of living beyond this encounter, you need to do something. Despite the throbbing pain in your ankle, you pull yourself up against the dented wall of the bus stop and edge closer to the campus. Then, you break into a valiant attempt at a sprint. “That’s it, get out of here!” he calls out after you. You grit your teeth both from the pain and general annoyance. “I’m not running!” “What the hell are you doing then?” “Something useful, unlike you!” Spiderman finally looks up from wrangling with the figure. “Huh?” You manage to limp to the pharmacy and wrench its fire extinguisher free from its bracket, using more effort than expected especially as you’re already winded and nearly fumble with the weight of it. You spin back around just as the creature grabs Spiderman by the throat and slams him into the side of the bus stop again. You hobble back to the scene with a sympathetic wince. My God, the thing is already gone, leave it alone. The figure looms over the fallen superhero, the goo oozing off solidifying into a slimy tendril that sharpens. It slides along Spiderman’s jaw and tilts his head up, cutting right through the fabric of his mask before stopping at his throat. The figure opens its mouth as if to say something but is cut off when you yank the pin with shaking hands. For a moment, nothing happens and you’re all about ready to apologise and excuse yourself from the scene when the extinguisher goes off in a violent burst of white foam that manages to encapsulate the figure despite the distance.
The black mass recoils with a horrible screech, the sound sharp and inhuman, like nails scratching against metal. It peels back in frantic, rippling waves, twitching and writhing away from the spray. The man underneath the goo drops to one knee, gasping as his eyes roll back down from the back of his head, and shudders before collapsing on the ground. What remains of the gunk ripples along the pavement before slithering down a gutter and leaving nothing behind, almost as if nothing had ever happened. If not for the battered bus stop and the hole in the wall. You lower the extinguisher slowly, breathless. “Maybe I should give this superhero thing a shot.” “Nah, I don’t think you have the guts for it.” Before you can even turn properly to defend your case, strong arms hook around you and the ground disappears. The sound that leaves you is less scream and more pure, humiliated terror as gravity tilts sideways. You catch a flash of white, the sharp snap of a web latching somewhere high above, and then he’s hauling you up with it, body lifting clean off the pavement. “Wait—” The city drops out beneath you in dizzying blurs of orange streetlights and rooftops, your stomach left somewhere back by the ruined bus stop. Spiderman carries you like you weigh nothing, one arm locked securely around your waist whilst the other shoots webs with impossible precision, each swing smooth despite the fact that he had been getting his ass kicked mere seconds ago. Wind tears at your scarf and shoves tears from your eyes. You clutch at him with both hands “Hold on, we need to go back and help that guy!” “I’m a superhero, not a paramedic!” Spiderman calls back, voice steady despite the speed. “He’ll be fine, help is already on the way. But there’s an unconscious guy on the ground, a destroyed bus stop, at least six insurance claims, and I’m pretty sure your bus abandoned you ages ago. You cannot stay there.” “And that’s the reason why I’m up here?” “Superhero, my ass,” he might have said but your attention is pulled in far too many directions to be sure. You make the fatal mistake of looking down. The road below is a smear of headlights and moving colour, terrifyingly far away. “Oh my God,” you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut again. “This is how I die. I’m going to become roadkill. I’m going to go splat.” “That is so hurtful after I literally just rescued you.” “I would still be grateful if you had left it there.”
His laugh is snatched by the wind, warm and infuriating and entirely too amused for someone who had looked so pathetic sprawled out on the ground. He adjusts his grip slightly when your fingers knot tighter in the front of his suit, and if he notices how hard you’re shaking, he has the decency to not make anymore comments, swinging you both up in a smooth arc. “Okay,” he relents. “Deep breaths, I’m not actually going to drop you.” You give your most valiant attempt of a snort. “Telling me to breathe deeply as I’m not already trying.” “Would you prefer shallow, panicked ones then?” “I would prefer to be on the ground!” “Your wish is my command.” After another swing and a sharp turn that nearly rips your soul from your body, Spiderman descends toward the quieter edge of campus and lands in a narrow pedestrian lane beside the university security office. It’s bright here, washed in fluorescent light, and close enough to the main road that you can already hear the traffic and voices navigating the post-chaos.
The second your shoes touch concrete, your knees threaten to fold. You grab his arm on instinct, digging your fingers in as you glance at him. “You do that every day?” You can almost hear the smugness in his voice, and something else. “It’s basically my 9-5.” It’s most definitely just your imagination but you feel as though his gaze softens, looking at you trembling like a newborn bird. He watches as you regain sensation in your legs though your hand remains on his arm. He doesn’t make any move to remove it. A baffled laugh escapes you, more air than sound. “I can’t believe I’m still alive.” “Do you need to sit down?” You shake your head softly. “I’m fine… thank you for saving me, Spiderman.” “I should be thanking you. I was getting my ass kicked out there.” “I know, I saw.” He tilts his head. “I thought you were thankful?” “Both those things can be true at the same time.” Then, you go on your tippy toes and press a soft kiss to his cheek. “But I’m definitely very thankful.”
You feel the superhero stiffen under your touch and the white fabric of his mask widens before he jerks slightly backward, free hand flying up to hover over where you kissed. “Did you just—” There’s something about the tone of his voice, pitched higher now in surprise, that has you blinking. “You sound…” If you weren’t sure about his tension before, he most definitely freezes now, his hand pulling back down to rest over your hand on his arm and pull it off. “Oh, uh—you should head back, injured and stupid civilian. I know the people in the office. They should be able to get you home.” “No wait, hold on.” You narrow your eyes, taking a step forward that he immediately responds to by stepping back. “Do I know you?” He points at himself, backing away slowly. “Me? You might have seen me on the news or seen one of my promotional posters.” “No, because you were weird the second you saw me.” “I was bleeding out and on the verge of death,” he says. “Let’s not pathologise me.” “You looked right at me and said something like, ‘you have got to be fucking kidding’.”
He tilts his head and takes another step back. “Did I say that? Hm, no, not ringing any bells. Your ankle is injured, maybe stop walking towards me. You’re freaking me out and I don’t do well with girls.” You open your mouth to say more when he suddenly points at something over your shoulder. “Oh shit, is that a bird? A plane?” You turn instinctively. There is no one there, of course, but it’s a realisation seconds too late. Because by the time you whip back around, he’s already two steps away, web fired high above, body coiled to launch. “Oh, you asshole—” “Get home safe!” he calls, voice cheerful in a way that irks you. “Wait—” He shoots upward before the word can properly leave your mouth. You hobble forward, outrage momentarily stronger than the pain in your ankle. “You can’t just dump me here and leave!” you yell after him. “I’m literally injured! Jerk!” “Ma’am, can we help you?” You freeze and your shoulder slump even as you turn around. The staff inside the office have stepped out hearing all the commotion and you realised Spiderman can definitely leave an injured civilian here. Curse his fast thinking and kind heart.
You freeze and your shoulder slump even as you turn around. The staff inside the office have stepped out hearing all the commotion and you realised Spiderman can definitely leave an injured civilian here. Curse his fast thinking and kind heart. It’s only when the sun has lowered into a splash of pink and orange in the sky that you finish tolerating the endless questioning from both the security office staff and the police. Thankfully, they’re kind enough to drive you back to your apartment though you’re slightly annoyed the rest of the day had been wasted on telling them ‘I don’t know’ over and over again. The moment you step back into your room, your phone buzzes with multiple notifications. There’s an Outlook email from your neuropharmacology course and three texts from an unknown number. unknown: looks like you lucked out and we’re partners it’s gojo btw lets meet tomorrow @ uni library And because you genuinely cannot feel even worse than you already do, you turn your face to bury into your pillow and groan.
You don’t end up confirming Gojo’s plans until halfway through your morning tutorial the next day when he double texts.
DO NOT ANSWER: ? don’t leave me on read you can hate me all u want but the project is worth 20% yk!!!!!!
you: ok time?
DO NOT ANSWER: ohhh so now u respond huh id hate to think im forgettable
you: time
DO NOT ANSWER: (╥﹏╥) i’ll get on campus at 12 ish so like in ten minutes
you: done
DO NOT ANSWER: >⩊<
You push the thought that as a grown man, he really shouldn’t be texting like that away, and flip your phone back down on the table just as the class ends.
“Want to check out this new bingsu place near the station?” Utahime chatters as she shoves her iPad into her tote and picks up her coffee, watching you follow behind albeit slower with dread. “They have this new Thai tea bingsu and it looks crazy good. Shoko swears by it but—and you can’t tell her I said this—it’s crazy that she went out for lunch without us. Does she not fuck with us anymore? Who did she even go with?”
You smile wistfully at her. “I wish I could, Utahime, but I already have plans after this.”
“What the fuck, et tu?” She processes your words with a frown. “Did you take on a shift today? I thought you only had this one class today.”
“No, it’s even worse. I need to lock in for my neuropharmacology assessment.”
She pauses, cup halfway to her mouth before her lips split into a wide grin. “Oh my God. With Gojo?”
You groan, zipping your bag with more force than necessary. You sling it over your shoulder and try to hurry away from her, but it’s too late and she follows quickly after.
“Don’t remind me.”
“You’re choosing to hang out with Gojo over me?” Her voice peaks at the end, and you hate how happy she looks at the thought of you ditching her.
“This isn’t a choice I want to make at all so don’t say it like that. And don’t look so happy, freak.”
“Oh, this is rich. You were bitching about him all of last semester and now you’re choosing him over me?” Utahime giggles, pulling out her phone with her free hand. “Shoko is going to love this.”
You raise an eyebrow, catching the opening. “I thought you were mad at her for getting lunch without you? You’re so fickle.”
She hums absentmindedly, already outing your situation to the group chat, no doubt. “Our friendship runs deeper than one betrayal.”
You grin as you approach the library stairs, looking back over your shoulder. “Friendship, huh?”
She whips her head up at you, eyes flickering down to her cup where the red words written across the side spells out a cute reminder to have a good day. A flush creeps up her face. “What? Don’t say that like it’s something to point out! We are friends!”
“I didn’t even say anything!” “You’re giving me that look again. I’m not a blind masochist, Y/N. I can tell when you have something to say, and I’m not taking it lying down.” “You’re just lucky I haven’t said a word to Shoko yet.” Utahime grumbles, crossing her arms. “If you do, I’ll kill myself.” You laugh, glad to get the last word. “I’ll see you later, Utahime. Go say hi to Shoko for me!” “I will see Shoko, but only to tell her that.” “Sure,” you say, and enter the building. The library is busy, bustling with students as they lean over textbooks and clack away at their laptops. It’s not quite midterm season yet, so the fact that the library is so full should be concerning. With so many heads bent down, there is little chance you’ll find Gojo. You swallow your pride and pull out your phone. you: i’m here where are you? DO NOT ANSWER: not her eyet wa it wait smth came up You frown. He’s the one who set the time and has the audacity to be late? Typical for someone as inconsiderate as him, you decide, and choose a table near the back of the library just so he can struggle to find you when he finally arrives. You take out your laptop and start a new document, opening the tab for the marking rubric, the assessment notification, and some articles you found doing a quick search on PubMed. You even get around to dot-pointing one of them when someone dumps their bag on the table next to you. You jump. “Fuck.” “Did I scare you?” The voice alone is enough to make you freeze though you quickly snap out of it to glare up at the culprit. Gojo stands beside you, panting slightly, running a hand through his messy hair like it’ll fix his disheveled appearance. The buttons of his shirt are mismatched and one side of his collar is tucked inward. “Hey,” he greets with a lopsided smile. “How are you late when you’re the one who said to meet at twelve?” Gojo shrugs as if it isn’t a big deal and flops into the seat next to you. You had intended for him to sit across the table but you didn’t have the time to slip the words into the conversation before he starts talking. “Didn’t I tell you? I had something to do. Did you read my texts with your eyes closed or something?” “If you think I could have deciphered that from what you said, then you’re dumber than I thought. Did you run into an electric fence or something?” He smiles at you like your words had been an inside joke. “I told you after that part.” “Do you ever take anything seriously? This is worth twenty percent of our grade. You can’t just mess around and expect to still do well.” “Can’t I? It’s always worked before.” And because you don’t doubt that, it only serves to piss you off even more. He catches onto your scowl, smirk widening.
“Relax, you’ll pop a blood vessel. We still have weeks to get this done so who cares?” You roll your eyes and force yourself to be satisfied with just that, turning back to to your laptop in an effort to calm down. “Me, obviously. Look, I’m only staying on campus until two, so let’s just get this done quickly so we can both leave. I’m sure you don’t want to be here either so let’s just be adults and get this over and done with.” You take a deep breath and prepare yourself to look back at him and point out what you’ve already planned on the document but stop short when you find him already watching you. You grimace and edge away slightly. “What?” “Nothing.” He shifts to pull out his laptop and then a wired mouse. You eye the chunky device with disbelief, wondering if perhaps his bag is bigger on the inside than the outside and then at its corded pet. It’s only when he pulls out yet another accessory, a mouse pad, that you blurt, “Do you seriously carry a whole gaming laptop setup with you every day for class?” Gojo holds down the power button for a couple of seconds, the fans whirring to life and filling the library with insistent static. “Yeah, I love this thing. It can handle all my programs and I can play League on it too so what’s not to like? It can run Sims 4 and all my CC’s without any lag, it’s literally my baby. It’s only right that I give it everything it needs in return.” You scrunch your nose. “You play into the stereotype way too much.” “What stereotype?” “What else? The nerd stereotype.” He huffs, apparently offended. “I’m not a nerd.” “Aren’t you?” You eye him up and down. “You tick off all the boxes. The glasses, the smartass attitude, the gaming laptop—” “You wear glasses.” He starts listing, holding out his hand to count. “I wear contacts.” “But you wear your glasses in the morning. For morning tutorials and lectures and stuff,” he continues, undeterred. “You carry yourself like you’re better than everyone else—” “I do not—” “Though you’re probably too broke to buy a gaming laptop so I guess it’s better to be a nerd than whatever you are.” He finishes with a smug grin that makes you want to curl your fingers into a fist and throw that right into his pretty face. “I don’t carry myself like I’m better than anyone,” you decide to clear up.
He makes an unconvinced sound. “You do.” “I don’t.” You press your lips together and sigh, breaking the eye contact though not without effort. “Stop trying to waste my time.” “You found me out. “Through the whirring of his laptop, you can make out his slight chuckle. He leans onto the table with his elbows, voice almost a childish whine. “Let’s talk. Why do you hate me so much?” Your fingers stutter on your keyboard. Sucking in a deep breath, you turn your head and face him on. “”I don’t hate you. Obviously. “Obviously,” he repeats, the curl of his lips an obvious indicator that he doesn’t believe you. “But you’re always frowning when we talk.” “We don’t talk,” you emphasise again and against your attempt at nonchalance, your brows pinch together. “And I don’t hate you.” “Right? I haven’t even done anything to you.” Your eye twitches at that. You rein it in, rein in that explosive feeling in your chest as if another word from his mouth will send you spiralling. You know it will, as inevitable as the crash-out you’ll be having to Shoko later at the cafe. “Gojo,” you start calmly. “We have four weeks to do this assessment and frankly, I still have a life to live outside this so let’s just get this over and done with, okay?” He looks at you a little longer and you would have asked what exactly he was searching for on your face, but something tells you that opening this can of worms will only confuse you more so you only stare back. “Alright,” he says finally. “Add me to the document.” You hit share and tilt your laptop towards him, watching as his long fingers dwarf your keyboard. He slides it back over and you nod, satisfied. “I already looked at some sources so you can just start off one of those.” Gojo glances back at his gaming laptop, clicking on the document. You watch as a new anonymous user hops onto the page: Anonymous Snow Leopard. He’s already typing away and when you click on the animal to find his cursor, he’s finishing off a second sentence notably not under one of those articles you had found. You frown as you read. “Hold on.” He sighs, fingers pausing. “What now?” You point to your screen at where he’s stopped typing. “You can’t just say things like this without a source.” “I’ll cite it later.” “That’s now how you research. You’re meant to find an article first and then write your own interpretation afterwards based on it.” He waves his hand dismissively. “Potato, potahto.” “Okay, no. We are not doing this.” “See, this is where your pretentiousness kicks in.” “What, because I know how to research properly?” “Because you’re trying to control every little thing.”
“I’m not being controlling, This counts to my grade too so I have a say.” “And where’s my say?” “You’re thinking too far, maybe focus on actually saying something useful first.” “See? Pretentious.” “Pot calling the kettle black.” “So you admit it?” “Maybe, do you?” He leans in, sneering. “I’ve gotten top marks doing it my way and I’m not going to change it now just because you have some inferiority complex over me.” You flush, leaning back. “Well, I’ve gotten high marks doing it my way! And I don’t have an inferiority complex, much less to you.” “Then you can use your method and I’ll use mine. We don’t have to collaborate any more than we need to.” You hate to admit that he might be right. Outwardly however, you grit your teeth and summon an inner peace. “Gojo. Find an article before you start talking out of your ass.” He groans as if deeply inconvenienced and though the sound makes you tense as if he might spit out another remark, he only turns back to his laptop and clicks open a new tab with exaggeration. “Fine, fine. Geez. You’re really annoying, you know that?” he grumbles, slouching in his seat. You’re about to drop another snarky response when something on his screen catches your eye, a tab peeking out in a red tab folder titled self indulgent. You lean forward slightly, catching the title when his cursor flicks by. It seems like an impossible task to read the words in the split second when the pop-up shows, if you hadn’t been stunlocked on that tab yourself earlier that week. hoping there’s a modification of kumamon’s line, r/digimon. “Wait,” you blurt, placing your hand on his arm. He freezes under your touch, though you pay no attention to the sensation. “What?” “Was that a Digimon Reddit thread?” Gojo doesn’t say anything for a while, and you have to look over at him to check if he was paying attention. His shoulders seem visibly tense, eyes flickering to the tab and then over at you. “…No?” You don’t wait for permission, sliding your own laptop to the side to take a hold of his. He makes a brief noise of protest, hands coming up as if to stop you, but they pause right before touching. The hesitation gives you the chance to click on the tab. The screen that loads confirms your suspicions. Your eyes widen, taking in the familiar Digimon forum, open to the exact post you’ve spent the last week arguing in the comments. “You’re in the Digimon subreddit?” “Don’t do this. You already give me enough shit about carrying a gaming laptop. Don’t ruin this nostalgia for me,” he mutters, looking away, and you finally realise that his tense shoulders might be because he’s bracing for an impact that isn’t coming. You find yourself, somewhat absently, marvelling at the sudden quietness of him. Maybe this is what people see when they talk about Gojo like he’s the second coming of Jesus.
You laugh in disbelief. He only stiffens more until you exclaim, “Gojoverrated?” “Look, I made that username when I was twelve and it just stuck, alright? I’m sure your usernames at twelve were much worse—” “So it was you that wrote that stupid rant about Kumamon’s evolution! It was like, a thousand words!” Gojo whips around to face you immediately. His eyes take you in, sweeping up and down your appearance as if trying to associate you with your words. “You pronounced Kumamon right. You know about the post? You read it?” “Are you questioning my reading comprehension skills now?” “No, I—” he stutters, actually tripping over his words in front of you which only makes your smile widen. He clears his throat and tries again. “I just meant—you read this?” “Read it? I responded to it, smartass.” There’s a long pause, and you wait for recognition to dawn. He straightens slowly, eyes opening wide. “There’s no way. You’re not—” You beam. “I’m Digimonlvr3000!”“Surprise aside, you should not be saying that username with so much pride.” But then he stares at you like the ground beneath him has just fallen through. “But shut up, there’s no fucking way.”
“You seriously hate the transition from Grizzmon to GrapLeomon?” you start, elbows resting on the table as you lean in. The same banter falls from your lips, but you refuse to acknowledge how it lacks venom.
“You can’t just go from a bear cub to a bear, and then to some mechanical lion-man, and then a unicorn-panther-headed half-nude dude.” He blinks at you even as he talks, eyes still wide as he struggles to comprehend saying these words to someone other than Suguru, considering his best friend is the only person who would at least pretend to listen.
“I mean, this is Digimon, not Pokémon. You know, digital monsters? They’re allowed to be crazy.”
“Yeah? Well, I want bears.”
“Then Pokémon might be the franchise for you.”
Gojo flinches like you’ve insulted him personally, more than any of your actually hurtful insults have ever managed to make him flinch. “Don’t even joke, Y/N. It’s not a crime to like coherent evolution lines.”
You shrug. “The randomness makes it fun. It’s Digimon’s whole brand.”
“And yet, the most iconic Digimon evolution lines come from coherent ones. You know, ones that make sense and have a consistent visual theme from Rookie to Mega. There is nothing that ties Grizzmon to GrapLeomon.” His lips quiver as he talks, eyes still wide, shock lingering. He can’t help letting his gaze sweep over you again and again. He thinks then that maybe the person who said never to judge a book by its cover had actually been onto something.
You raise a finger, drawing him out of his daze. “Um, actually, there is, though. The whole theme of grappling and fist-fighting? Does that ring a bell?” “That’s the same argument you used in your comments.” “The same comment you have yet to respond to.” You pause, thinking. “Just like right now, actually.” “Yeah?” he starts, and you know you’ve got him again. He presses on regardless. “Well, you’re the one who made that post about disliking Rhinokabuterimon more than Daipenmon.” “And I stand by that.” “Oh my god,” he says slowly, taking you in. “You’re worse in person.” “Your Kumamon rant got locked by a mod,” you remind him. “Somehow that makes sense. You’re as annoying online as you are in person.” “It was locked for too many off-topic replies, which is partially your fault.” “I wasn’t going to let you have the last word.” “Last word, huh. Great segue to—” “No, don’t bring that up, stop—” “—to your Digimon fanfiction account that you have linked in your bio.” You groan, long and low, covering your face with your hands. Warmth creeps up your neck, burning against your cheeks when you hear him laugh at your expense. You try to gather your dignity, peeking between your fingers to accuse him as you say, “How would you know? Did you read them?” “Of course I did,” he says without shame, and any thought of turning the tables back on him dissipates. He watches you suffer from embarrassment for only a second longer before resting his chin on his palm, leaning away as if to act casual. “So. Do you play the TCG?” he asks, despite the fact that he knows he’s seen your username floating around in the Digimon TCG subreddit. You pull your hands away with a start. “Do I play? Is the sky blue?” Gojo’s lips quiver upward. “Duel me.” “Okay,” you say quickly, too quickly, and you clear your throat in an effort to reset yourself. He doesn’t seem to notice, already digging through his bag for something. “Oh, you meant right now.” He pauses, looking up. “Yeah. Do you not have your deck?” “I don’t carry it on me, no.” For some reason, the thought that he does brings a small smile to your face. He visibly deflates, and a thought tries to enter your mind, though you’re not quite there just yet. Instead, you laugh softly. “Next time then,” you say, enjoying the way his smile returns to his face. “What colour do you play, anyway?” “Purple, obviously.” You roll your eyes. “Of course you’re a purple player. You saw the post about how purple wins just about every big event in EX7, didn’t you? Let me guess. Leviamon?” “Actually, I play DexDorugoramon. You?” You hum as if that makes complete sense. “I play yellow. Not for any particular reason, I just like the Digimon in the decks.” “Yellow, huh? So you’re a feelscrafter.” He bites back a goofy smile, but it shows.
“Don’t say that word like it’s a slur.” “Do you even play the meta?” You scoff. “Of course I do. But playing good isn’t even fun anymore.” Gojo laughs, and from behind him, you catch a few students looking over with narrowed eyes. He pays them no mind, leaning in. “See? Pretentious.” You lean forward too, reply on the ready, the only thing missing is the exact wording you want to use to shoot him down, when his phone goes off. Is this the second time now? Just how popular is this guy? His gaze falters before he pulls back to wrestle his phone out of his pocket. You’re left facing him, and you draw back too, clearing your throat as you turn to your laptop. What the fuck was that? Your fingers type gibberish into the document, then drag your finger across your trackpad to erase it only to type another string of incoherent letters and symbols. Your mind races through the conversation, noting the genuine joy in your voice, the amusement when Gojo responded just as enthusiastically. There’s a warmth in your stomach that’s hard to get rid of. What the fuck. You’re not eavesdropping. That’s simply not what you’re doing. Though it isn’t your fault if you happen to hear Gojo as he talks into his phone, his voice low out of respect for the library but not so low that you can’t make out the conversation. “Alright, yeah, I got it. I’m not, so don’t even start. God, shut the fuck up, Suguru. I’ll be over, give me ten minutes. Ten minutes. Yeah, probably, but you’re pissing me off, so I’ll be there in ten. I’m already doing you a favour, man, so quit it before I change my mind.” You catch him rolling his eyes, his freakishly long eyelashes lifting and falling. “You owe me.” Gojo hangs up and sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Hey, sorry about that. I have to go.” You look up at him with a start. “Go? You just got here! We’ve only been working for…” You glance down at the bottom right of your laptop screen. “An hour and a half?” He grins, though it’s small. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” “Neuropharmacology is hardly fun.” “No, but the company is,” he says, unplugging his mouse and rolling up his mouse pad. As he stuffs his enormous gaming laptop into whatever space remains in his bag, he continues, “I’ll text you when I’m free next.” “We hardly got anything done today,” you find yourself saying. “No thanks to your distraction.” “Mine? You continued it. If you really cared, you would have told me to shut up.” “As if you ever listen.” It’s far too easy to fall into a rhythm with him, you think begrudgingly. He’s grinning lazily, lifting his glasses with his knuckle and otherwise unmoving beside your table. You huff, turning back to your laptop. This feeling, at least, is familiar and comforting. “Whatever, Gojo. I’ll do my part as long as you do yours.” He watches you for a second longer before taking a step back. “I’ll text you.” You give him a half-hearted wave. Only when you’re positive enough time has elapsed for him to have cleared the building and maybe half the courtyard do you exhale, slumping in your chair. Your eyes flick to the library doors. No sign of white hair. You tell yourself you’re pissed, that that’s what is currently sitting in your chest and the reason for your sudden restlessness. I mean, really, who arrives late to a meeting they scheduled and then leaves early?
It’s a Friday afternoon, and he has you losing your mind over reports and Digimon, of all things. You should be at a bar. Or at home, in pajamas, catching up on backlog episodes of that new trash reality TV you’ve been binging, or having that bingsu Utahime mentioned earlier. What you should not find yourself doing is thinking about Gojo and how pretty his genuine smile is, especially when it’s directed at you. You scoff at your screen, type out a line, and then delete it. What a joke.
academic freak: jumping on !! let me know if u can work on our project now :3 you: sorry I'm out rn i can hop on at eight tonight though if you’re still free then? academic freak: no worries let’s do a video call then >< (6:43pm) You stare at his last text, have been staring at his last text ever since you left your friends, hovering your thumb over the screen, unsure. And now it was almost eight pm and you were still staring. It's not like this is the first time you’ve ever video called someone, and it’s not like he matters, but something akin to nervousness settles in your stomach. He's just your annoyingly good-looking, annoyingly smart project partner. Shoko’s childhood best friend. The guy that embarrassed you last semester. Nothing more. Still, you keep blinking at the message, at the double exclamation marks and all his stupid emoticons. academic freak: can i call u now? You flinch when the typing bubble pops up but you fail to swipe out before the message is sent, and the read receipt lights up immediately. academic freak: ? waiting for me? You groan aloud, running a hand down your face. There’s no dignified way out of this, so with a sigh, you hit call. The screen rings once, twice, and you suddenly jump up, nerves—or whatever the hell you want to call it—causing you to sweat. You should change, brush your hair maybe, fuck, you took out your contacts already. One time in third grade, someone said you looked different with glasses compared to without. What did that mean? Was the difference that extreme? Why couldn’t you see it? Would Gojo be able to tell? Before you can answer any of those questions, your phone flickers to life. “Hey,” Gojo says, grinning as his camera turns on. He’s a little too close at first, but after seeing your surprised face, he leans back and settles into view. His hair is slightly tousled, glasses perched low on his nose, the logo of the university peeking just into view on his jumper. “Hi.” You clear your throat, adjusting your phone so it sits upright on your table. “I wasn’t waiting for your text, by the way. You just messaged me just as I was about to message you. That’s all.” He raises an eyebrow, a knowing smile on his face. Thankfully, he doesn’t push. “Sorry for ditching you earlier, but I’m here now.” You nod, opening your laptop on the table. As it hums to life, your eyes flick back over to your phone and trace what you can see inside his room. He has a lamp on, warm light washing over his face as he leans back into view, a lollipop in his hand, and there’s an assortment of plushies on his bed behind him. You narrow your eyes. “Is that Agumon?”
Gojo glances back, then shrugs like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “He guards my bed.” You stifle a laugh. “Still getting nightmares at your big age?” “Don’t tell me you’re too cool for plushies.” He rolls his eyes, though his face quickly splits into a grin when you pull out your own plushie, placing it comfortably on your lap, its head peeking into frame. “There we go. That’s more like it.” His praise does things to you that you don’t dare put into words. You squeeze your plushie tight. You busy yourself with opening the document, taking extra long to fiddle around with opening and closing random tabs. It’s hard to focus on one thing, you see, not when Gojo is staring at you unabashedly, cheek smushed against his hand like he has nowhere else to be. You don’t look up right away, clicking through your email, Spotify, the university site, waiting for him to get bored and finally free you from his gaze, but he doesn’t. Clearing your throat, you finally drag your gaze up to his face. “We should—” you start, but cut yourself off. “What?” “Hm?” He blinks when your eyes meet. “Why’re you staring at me like that?” Gojo lets the silence drag on for a little longer until he chuckles, dropping his head to look down at his own laptop screen. “Who said I was looking at you?” You arch a brow, glancing over your shoulder, then around your room. “Is there someone else in the room with me now?” “Ask that question again when we have a Ouija board.” He types something, and you watch the words pop up on your screen. “I was just thinking how different you are when you’re not on campus. You’re quieter, for one. Less teeth-baring.” “If you want me to insult you, you only have to ask.” He grins, eyes lazy with amusement. “See? Even that lacks any bite.” “Says you. I’m surprised you haven’t made a comment on my glasses or something,” you say, unwilling to be outdone. “And what, your messy desk?” You shove your textbooks out of frame. “I knew it.” He shrugs offhandedly, returning his attention to his laptop. You follow his lead, blinking in surprise when he doesn’t continue with another snarky comment. It’s silent again for a while. “It suits you. You look nice with your hair tied back.” Your hands fly to the back of your head and close around your claw clip, mouth hanging open as you stare at him. Gojo keeps typing like he didn’t just casually compliment you, as if he hadn’t just thrown a curveball into your carefully built defences. You swallow hard, blinking as heat creeps into your cheeks. “I… you look nice too?” You wince as soon as the words leave your mouth, though you can’t completely regret them, because they’re what finally cause him to look up at you, his hands frozen over his keyboard. Then he’s laughing, and you take back that last thought just as quickly.
“Alright, alright, let’s just work on our project,” you mumble, ducking your head. He’s still laughing, and you grit your teeth with effort. “If you keep laughing, I’m going to hang up on you.” Gojo’s laughter lingers, soft and amused, as he savours the heat on your face for a second longer before nodding. “I’ll stop, I swear.” His fingers return to the keyboard, but you catch the flicker of something like warmth—or maybe surprise—in his eyes before he lowers his head too. You take a breath and refocus on your document, with only the sounds of shuffling and keys clacking disturbing the space between the two of you. Every now and then, he asks a question about a point you’ve made, or corrects something you’ve written. His criticisms lack any heat, and you find yourself accepting his words without the usual spike in blood pressure. Every now and then, his attention slips and he starts scrolling on Twitter in another tab, his snickering making you lift your head. Gojo immediately catches the movement and flips his laptop around to show you, letting you share a laugh with him. He tells you about the Discord server he runs for hosting Digimon TCG games. You listen, asking for an invite when his voice quietens near the end, and the smile he beams at you makes your stomach flip. You tell him about your hobbies, how you’ve had to let go of piano because of your academic pursuits. He tells you he wants to hear a piece, your favourite piece to play, and you think for a moment that you might want to pick it up again. At one point, light floods across the screen and you watch as he grumbles, lifting an arm to block the sudden brightness. A voice sounds through your phone speaker distantly, and you recognise it as Geto. You hadn’t realised they were roommates. “You free tonight, Satoru? Haibara’s having a get-together in a few hours. He asked me if you wanted to come along since you ditched halfway through the—oh.” Geto’s voice trails off, as if he’s only just noticed Gojo’s pinched expression. “You’re on the phone to someone. Who? Let me see.” “It’s none of your business!” He throws you a frantic glance and you shrug. “And knock first!” “You never knock.” You hear the shuffle of someone entering the room. “And you have three friends, and I’m one of them. Is it Nanami? Shoko?” You hear Gojo’s protests as something hits the phone and it swirls, landing face-up toward his ceiling. You notice he has light-up neon stars stuck haphazardly across it. Your heart squeezes. Cute. Then a hand covers the screen and it’s a blur of black and red. “Back off, Suguru, I’m not going to Haibara’s party—” “Is that a girl?” “Hey!” There’s a whirl, and then you blink, biting your cheeks at the face suddenly staring back at you. Hesitantly, you raise a hand. “Hey, Geto.” Geto stares at you for a second before laughing, a low melody that has you shifting nervously in your seat. “Y/N? I didn’t know you and Satoru were so close. I always thought you two had this rivals thing going on—” He doesn’t finish his sentence because Gojo snatches his phone back, and you watch a tilted view of the interaction. “Tell Haibara I won’t be showing up.” “Something more important to do, Satoru?” The world shifts again as Gojo flops back onto his bed, placing you upright on his table once more. He glances sideways at his roommate, directing his words at him even as his hands work to steady his phone. “It’s not what you think. We’re working on our group project. It can’t just evolve past Rookie stage on its own.” You watch as he shoots a quick glance at you, eyes searching as if to ask, Did you catch that? You can’t help but grin a little, biting back a laugh. “Sure, that’s all. I’ll go tell Haibara you’ll come to the next one.” The light dims slightly and you assume Geto is closing the door. “You owe me.”
When the light finally fades, Gojo turns back to you with an apologetic smile. You’re thrilled to see him glance at you, then away, his hands coming up to run through his hair, an uncharacteristic shyness that makes your heart squeeze again. “Sorry about that.” “No, it’s okay. You guys seem close.” You absentmindedly rub at your chest, wondering if this is a sign of cardiovascular disease. “You two dorm together?” “We moved out together at the beginning of second year. He lived, like, three hours from campus and needed a roommate. He asked me and I said yes.” You rest your cheek on your palm, watching him through the small screen of your phone. “I never knew you two had so much history. I guess that makes sense, considering I never see you two apart.” “Hey, it’s not that bad.” “Isn’t it? Gojo and Geto, Geto and Gojo. There’s even a name for you two. Goge, though I prefer Gego.” He frowns, brows pulled together. “There’s a difference?” “Yeah,” you say, and leave it at that, unwilling to explain the difference. Reading over his last few words, you highlight them with your cursor. “Gojo, this doesn’t make sense. The rebuttal team will definitely have something to say about this.” Gojo huffs, and you watch as he backspaces the sentence. “You know, I almost miss the days when you were comfortably mediocre. Now it’s like I’m back to being ten years old and getting taught long division by my dad.” You snort, reaching for something to snap back with. Instead, you feel that sticky ball of unease in your stomach. Clearing your throat, you settle for, “What a universal experience.” He looks up at that. “What, not going to tell me to kill myself for comparing you to my dad?” “Was that an insult? You’re losing your touch.” “Says you. You don’t even seem mad.” He squints at you, and you wish your Wi-Fi would give out so he could count the pixels on his screen instead of the thoughts threatening to burst free. “You okay?” You pause, bracing for the usual deflection to leap off your tongue. But there’s something about the way he’s looking at you, something about the warmth wrapping around your shoulders, something about the brief glimpse into his private world that has you fidgeting to say something else. You let out a thin laugh, eyes fixed on the words on your laptop screen. “Guess I didn’t really care for grades back then.” He snorts. “Seriously? And you still beat me on that quiz that one time? You make fun of me for being a prodigy, but I fear the call is coming from inside the house.” You don’t move. “It was just luck.” “And all your nineties since then? That all luck too?” You shrug, but your mind screams the answer. Gojo frowns, as if sensing that this goes deeper. “What is this really about, Y/N?” For once, you’re thankful for his directness. When he says it like that, you find that you can’t as easily hide behind an excuse. A part of you aches to be seen, to tell someone else something that might otherwise follow you to the grave. “It’s nothing serious. I guess I’m just a little worried that I’m too late to be good at this for real.” His head tilts on-screen. “Huh?”
Heat creeps up your neck. “You know, neuroscience. I never cared about my classes until last semester because I never cared for science. But then I realised how much I liked neuroanatomy and I started trying, and it paid off. But we’re in our last year. I feel like I’ve wasted too much time.” When he doesn’t immediately say anything, you barrel on. “You’ve always been…” You gesture vaguely at him, still not meeting his eyes. “Good. Effortless. And I’m just now cramming to keep up. Like, what’s the point, you know? Maybe I’ll never catch up. Even if I do, it’s too late for it to matter. Maybe that’s why I was always annoyed at you. I wish I started caring like you did way back in first year or whenever it was that you decided you knew what to do.” You try to laugh it off, but it comes out small and brittle. Gojo doesn’t answer right away. His usual smirk is gone, replaced with something more thoughtful. Finally, he leans forward, chin resting on his palm. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You really think you’re behind me?” “Well, aren’t I?” He snorts softly, but there’s no bite to it. “You’re the one who wrote the outline to this report. You’re the one reading through and correcting everything. Half of this project looks as good as it does because of you.” Your stomach flips. “You’re exaggerating—” “I’m not.” His tone sharpens just enough to make you stop fidgeting and look up at him. His mouth is curved as if to soften the words, but his gaze is sincere, coaxing you to take in every one. “Look. Who cares when you started? You’re here now. And you’re good at it, like ridiculously good. Not because you lucked into it, but because you put in the effort. You work hard because you want this, and it shows. That’s more than most people ever figure out, even if they’ve been trying since day one.” “You don’t know that for sure.” “Don’t I?” “It’s easy for you to say. You’ve got it all figured out.” His eyebrows shoot up. “You’re serious about catching up to me?” The heat creeps back up your neck, hot flushes spreading across your back. “Forget it. Just forget everything.” “No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that.” He runs a hand through his hair, forcing the surprise back. “I thought you knew the feeling was mutual, that I’m making sure to catch up to you. If anything, you’ve been making me work harder than I ever have. If this is you ‘too late,’ then I’d say you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.” Your stomach knots at that, a mix of disbelief and something warmer curling under your ribs. You force your gaze back to the words on your screen, blinking against the sting building at the corners of your eyes. “…You’re ridiculous,” you murmur, more to your laptop than to him. Across the screen, his grin slips back into place, lazy and self-assured, but not mocking. “Ridiculously right, you mean, since you know I always am.” You shake your head, biting back the urge to argue—and to smile. This time, the silence stretches comfortably, neither of you rushing to fill it. Your cursor blinks steadily on the half-finished paragraph, but your focus is caught on the strange buoyancy in your chest, the faint echo of his words playing on repeat. When Gojo finally speaks, it’s in his usual drawl. “So, am I supposed to fix the discussion section, or are you going to keep having an existential crisis about being secretly smart?” You let out a shaky laugh, the tension finally breaking. “Shut up and start writing, Gojo.” “Yes, ma’am,” he says, already clicking away, but the small smile tugging at his mouth lingers longer than his usual jokes. You pretend not to notice how your chest feels lighter than it did a minute ago.
The weekend has slipped through your fingers quickly, leaving much to be desired, and before you know it, you’re waking before the ass crack of dawn to shuffle to the university café. The streets are empty this early out, with only the hush of the wind and the distant hiss of a bus pulling away filling the campus. Not for the first time, you regret picking up the opening shifts, and you haven’t even clocked in yet. When you look up to behold the café in all its glory, you freeze. There’s someone standing just outside, leaning against the brick wall and absentmindedly kicking a pebble along the footpath. At first, the figure is just a silhouette. But then you walk close, and the picture clarifies. Spiderman kicks another loose stone, both hands shoved into the pocket of his hoodie that hides the bright blue and white design of his tight-fitted suit. He’s leaning against the wall of the cafe and you hope you’re not misunderstanding that he’s waiting for it to open. “It’s you!” you exclaim, walking faster. “You jerk, you ditched me!” Spiderman pushes off the wall in a heartbeat, body snapping upright with practised reflexes even before he lifts his head. He looks at you in silence and you take the chance to close the gap. Before he can make the smart move and leave, you’re already grabbing his hand. “You left me to talk to the police for hours after that day! Do you know how many questions I answered with ‘I don’t know’?” “Oh, great,” he mumbles, voice low and muffled by his mask. “Just what I needed. What are you doing here?” “That’s my question. I didn’t think our cafe was famous enough to be visited by a superhero. Are you checking out the student discount or something? Are you a student here too—” He cuts you off. “Guessing my identity kind of defeats the purpose of the whole masked hero thing.” You squint at him. “Can you even breathe in that?” “I’m still standing here, aren’t I?” You raise your hands in surrender. “So, what, you’re here to sightsee?” “Do you think I have the luxury for that?” When you only raise your eyebrows pointedly and shrug, he continues. “I was supposed to meet someone here.” There’s only one other person who works morning shifts. “Shoko?” Spiderman seems to pause. “The answer isn’t no.” “Shoko’s doing closing shifts now so I’ll be taking over the morning shifts. Also, you know Shoko? And she didn’t tell me?” “Secret identities will do that to you,” he groans. “I can’t believe you tortured that information out of me.” “If anything, you confirmed it out of your own volition.” He shrugs, taking a step forward as if to leave. You look over at the cafe door beside him. “You’re here for a drink, right? Give me a couple minutes to open and I’ll get started on your order for you.” He shifts, almost imperceptibly shrugging. “Forget it. You really shouldn’t be involving yourself with me.” Before he can take another step, you reach out and grab his wrist. The movement is firm enough to make him pause, though if you thought he couldn’t pull away, you’d be sorely mistaken. “Don’t be shy. Come on, get in here. I’m not letting you leave that easily again.”
He lets out a small, embarrassed noise, half sigh and half grunt, as if caught somewhere between annoyance and resignation. You tug him gently towards the door again, though the look in your eyes is nothing if not fierce. Finally, the steadiness of his stance gives way into a reluctant step and you’re able to pull him inside. The warmth of the cafe hits you immediately, a stark contrast to the brittle cold outside. Your breath stops leaving your lips as mist, the windows already dewy from the lack of ventilation inside, and the air smells like yesterday’s coffee grounds. Spiderman hovers awkwardly by the door where you’ve abandoned him, rocking on his feet. You pretend not to notice how he’s poised to bolt the moment you turn your back and for that reason, you never do. “You can sit, you know,” you say lightly, switching on the espresso machine. “You’re allowed to touch the furniture.” “I’m good here,” he mutters. “Where did all your spark go, Spiderman?” He shifts at that, his weight rocking between his feet. “You make me sound like a rescue dog.” “You’re acting like one,” you note with amusement. “You’re all twitchy and skittish. Should I put out a bowl of water? Or, better yet, you can tell me your order and I’ll get started on that for you.” He pauses. “Iced matcha chai with vanilla cold foam and brown sugar syrup. And a caramel rim. That’s the best part.” Your mouth hangs open, ink bleeding into the side of the cup as you try to process his words. “Are you kidding? That’s literally just pure sugar. Are you insane?” “Someone has to protect the city, sweetheart.” As if emboldened by your surprise, Spiderman walks up to the counter and leans against it, watching you reluctantly write the shorthand for his order on the cup. “And whoever is doing it needs something to keep the sleep away.” You shoot him a look as you cap the pen and get started. “When was the last time you slept?” “Two nights ago. For, like, four hours.” “You know, you should be sleeping seven to eight hours every night otherwise your brain isn’t able to clear proteins. When those accumulate they turn into the amyloid plaques and tau tangles they talk about in neurodegenerative disease.” “Oh my God,” he groans, waving your clinical concern away. “Does this cafe only hire worrywarts? Shoko never shuts up about that.” You look up sharply. “So you do know her.” His hands come up in a placating gesture. “I thought you already came to that conclusion.” “No, because you dodged it. How the fuck do you know Shoko? And why the hell has she never told me?” You let out a thoughtful hum as you create his disgusting drink. “Maybe she was embarrassed to know you.” His hands come down slightly as if baffled. “I saved your life and the only thing leaving your mouth is criticism. The public loves the suit, I’ve gotten no complaints until now.” You narrow your eyes as you reach for the syrup bottle. “So you are dodging.”
“I’m protecting the innocent. I hope you know that you also need to keep a tight lip about me.” “Spare me, Spiderman. You’re really not all that.” “You’ll be surprised.” He makes a show of stretching and flexing his muscles in the tight suit. “I’m irresistible.” You bark a short laugh despite yourself, setting the cup down harder than necessary. “One of these days you’re going to look at yourself in the mirror and reconsider why exactly you chose tight spandex as the go to material for your suit. You know what people are doing on the streets these days? Catching print.” “What’s that?” You swirl whipped cream on the top of his drink and drizzle it in caramel before forcing a dome lid on top. Plucking a straw from the dispenser, you slide that and the drink over to him. He catches it easily enough, eyes not yet looking away from you. “Here’s your drink. Next time, just get more hours of sleep instead of torturing your local barista.” He lifts his mask just enough to sip, bunching it up under his nose, and you catch the barest flash of his grin before it’s covered again. His shoulders relax, like he’s settling in despite himself. “Still good,” he murmurs, almost to himself. Then, louder: “At least you didn’t mess it up.” “That’s the thanks I get?” You rest your elbows on the counter and lean in, your eyes narrowing at him. “This is your job, isn’t it? Why should I thank you?” “I thought since you did unpaid labour for the city, you’d know just how good a thanks feels.” He chuckles, reaching into his pockets to pay. His fingers close around his phone before freezing, the faint weight of realisation settling in. He doesn’t carry cash, and he can’t pay contactless like he usually does with Shoko, because then you’d recognise his phone case. You notice his hesitation. “Unpaid labour indeed.” “Caught me,” Spider-Man admits easily, leaning against the counter. “So, what are the chances you put this on my tab?” You laugh under your breath. “Just make sure to bring cash next time.” There’s a beat of quiet before he tips his head, considering. “Next time, huh?” You shrug, busying yourself with a rag on the counter. “Didn’t you say you needed that sugar bomb to stay awake?” “Touché,” he says, lifting the cup to take another long sip. The room falls into a quieter rhythm, the hum of the machines filling the silence. You watch as he lingers by the counter, fingers drumming against the cup as he enjoys his drink. It’s surreal seeing him so close, joking like he’s just any other person and not some masked figure who swings through the city on webs. You speak up again when the silence drags on a little longer and you begin to worry that the moment might get interrupted by another customer. “You gonna stand there all day or actually do some superheroing?” He makes a thoughtful noise. “Depends. Doesn’t seem like there are any damsels in distress right now.” “Oh, really? Well, I still need some floors mopped and napkins restocked, so—hey!” Before you can blink, he’s already tugging his hood back up and slipping towards the door, the same restless energy in his shoulders that he came in with. “And that’s my cue to leave.” “Don’t forget,” you call after him. “Cash next time!” He lifts a hand without turning, a half-wave, half-promise, before opening the door. He flicks his wrist towards the nearest streetlight and, with a tug, shoots forward with a burst of speed that leaves you blinking, impressed. “Show-off,” you mumble fondly, a small smile tugging at your lips as the door swings closed behind him. His presence is quickly forced to the back of your mind as another customer walks in, and you fall back into the familiar rhythm of your work.
The opening shift quickly becomes the bane of your existence. The grumpy customers clicking in for their own early mornings, the rush of orders that arrives before you’ve even fully woken, the relentless beep of the espresso machine—it all feels like a punishment for having the audacity to leave your warm bed before the sun has even risen. And yet, despite the predictable chaos and your own bleary-eyed resentment, you can’t stop the small smile that tugs at your lips as you hop off the bus. The front of the cafe is quiet when you step up and shove the keys in, though you know that calm won’t last long. A sudden movement behind you makes your stomach tighten, and a voice murmurs close to your ear. “I thought the cafe opens at six.” You turn to see Spiderman hanging upside down, both hands holding onto his web, feet pressed together to keep balance. “It does,” you say in lieu of greeting. “Really? So why did you only get here at 6:13am?” You roll your eyes and turn back around to let you both in. The masked vigilante lets go of his web and smoothly drops down, sauntering in behind and catching the door when you let go. “I could report you for tardiness, you know. And being mean to your customers.” “I didn’t know you were a snitch,” you tease back. “What can I say? I care about the university’s upkeep,” he says as he leans against the counter to watch you start up the shop. Ignoring his gaze on your back, you begin to multitask, one hand grabbing a cup to get started on his drink while the other flicks on switches. The whir of grinders hum to life, filling the space between you. “Another deathly sweet drink for you I’m assuming?” “Someone has to keep this city up and running.” There’s a brief silence as the espresso machine whirs and you do your job. You recall the first few times this unexpected customer had dropped by, the tension between the two of you neither friends nor strangers, and how his face had seemingly dropped when you slid his drink across the counter the moment he walked in. “Oh,” Spiderman had started, the whites of his mask flicking from you to the cup. “You already made this for me?” “Yeah. Unless you’re planning to grab something new today.” His fingers had curled around the cup, mumbling something that sounded like, “No, that’s fine. This is fine.” He had hesitated by the counter until you urged him to pay. He did, albeit slowly, and when he even stalled after the money had passed into your hands, you giggled. “I’m not going to kick you out just because you have your drink now. You can stay. I like talking to you when I open.” His face had immediately brightened, or at least you assume so from the way his head shot up and the grip on his cup tightened almost imperceptibly.
Since then, Spiderman has taken it upon himself to stay throughout the duration of making his drink, and thirty minutes after that too. “You know,” he muses now, conversational and casual. “I feel like you know more about me than I know about you. You know how I like my drinks, my work, my name. Which is terrible because I’m the one with the secret hidden identity.” You roll your eyes, lifting the steamer to pour into a cup with his superhero name on it, something he had insisted you do when you once poured his drink into an empty, unmarked cup, saying the true cafe experience included a named cup. So, in order to give him said full experience, you spell his name wrong every time. Today, it’s ‘Spy x Derman’. “You also know where I work,” you say, topping his disgusting drink with cream and another drizzle of sweet sticky syrup. “And my name. But honestly, it’s your fault for being so naive and open.” “I’m trying to say I want to know more about you.” “And I’m trying to tastefully deflect the conversation elsewhere.” He chuckles. “What harm is there if you tell me something? It doesn’t have to be anything crazy. This isn’t a first date.” “Hey, that’s my line.” You stick a paper straw into the lid and slide his drink over the counter. He catches it with ease, not breaking eye contact to take a sip. “Fine, I’ll bite. What do you want to know? He shrugs, looking around the place. “Surprise me. I wouldn’t even know where to start. “Well, first of all, I’m a normal person. Which means my coffee order isn’t diabetes in a cup. “Tell me your order, then.” You’re surprised to see him so interested in something so mundane and useless. “I guess I usually get a vanilla soy latte. Oh, but if they have matcha or something, I’d get that instead.” He hums. “Personally, I usually get an iced matcha chai with vanilla cold foam and brown sugar syrup with a caramel rim.” You laugh, wiping up the counter after yourself as you’ve been trained to do. “I never asked, and yes, Spiderman, I know. Trust me, it hurts my pure barista hands to make your drink every time.” He chuckles softly with you, eyeing you, toying with the paper straw in his mouth. You know that in about ten minutes, if he stays that long, he’ll start complaining about how the paper has already begun to deteriorate in his mouth, and you will be his unwilling recipient for the venting. When he opens his mouth to speak next, you brace yourself for an onslaught of surprisingly childish whining.“So, any plans this week?” he asks, leaning over the counter. You wonder if it would be a workplace hazard to invite him to the other side.
You catch onto his words after a few blinks. “Not really? I guess I have an assessment due next week so I’ll be grinding for that.” You pause, assuming the silence that follows after is because he’s waiting for more. “You?”
“The usual. Saving cats from trees, escorting senior citizens across pedestrian crossing, the typical.”
“Does that actually happen? Cats getting stuck in trees?”
He shrugs. “Not really. If anything, it’s usually street poles they find themselves in. Anyway, so you’re otherwise free this week? Say, super random day that means absolutely nothing—Tuesday?”
You pause, taking in his faux innocence. He even makes a show of looking at his nails as if he could see them through the fabric of his white gloves. “I mean, I guess I am, for the most part. Why?”
He straightens a little, looking over at the dessert display. “No reason.”
You narrow your eyes at him, a little wary. “Are you sure? I feel like you wouldn’t ask that question unless there was something going on.” “No, I’m just wondering what the average citizen’s schedule looks like.” “Oh, really?” You clean off the steamer with an unimpressed look. “Verdict?” “Boring!” He stretches out the word, loud in the acoustics of the near empty cafe. “Do you even know how to have fun?” You scoff, wiping your hands on a nearby towel before leaning against the counter to talk to him. Somewhere along the way, the distance between the two of you has shrunk and you find yourself gravitating towards him. He stays on the other side, lifting up his mask as he usually does to take a sip. “It’s not my fault the exam period is coming up,” you say, trying to subtly memorise the bottom of his face without seeming weird. “And I definitely do know how to have fun. “Right, sure you do. What do you do for fun, then?” You bite the inside of your cheeks. “You first.” “Need time to think?” “This is so unfair, you can literally fly! Obviously what I do for fun isn’t going to be as fun as leaping through the air and shooting webs from your wrists!” “Not with that attitude you won’t. But come on, humour me a little. Tell me what you usually do in your free time.” “Are we on a bad first date right now? What’s happening?” “Deflect all you want but I’m immune to it by now. Come on, just tell me,” he coaxes you with a grin, straw between his teeth. “Do you, again super random and means nothing at all, go to anime related events?” You narrow your eyes at him slightly. “I guess I do.” “Okay.” He looks around as if inspecting the interior design. “Have you heard about that thing that’s happening at the main city library?” You, in fact, have. “Sure. I saw the post on their Insta.” “Was that something you wanted to check out?” “With… you?” Spiderman laughs like you’ve said something particularly funny. “You’re joking right? Obviously not with me. Spiderman doesn’t do outings, sweets.” “Forgive me for assuming that when you literally asked me when I would be free mere minutes ago.” “I told you, I’m just curious about what normal people get up to.” You eye him, noting how relaxed he now seems and how there’s a silence that drags out after his last words. “Were there any more questions you wanted to ask, or just the one about when I’m free and if I wanted to check out the shounen showcase at the library?” “No, that was it.” You nod, slowly. “Right.” The quiet stretches, just the hiss of the espresso machine and the soft drumming of his fingers against the counter as he muses over your previous words. You roll your eyes and straighten, turning to fiddle around and move forward with the transition of shooing him away.
Just as you’re about to tell him to go do his job or something, the doorbell chimes and you look up instinctively like an activated sleeper agent, plastering a smile on your face to greet the customer. It hasn’t been long since you started morning shifts but it was rare for anyone to show up within the ten minutes you open. You spare Spiderman a glance as if to tell him to leave, but he’s not looking at you. A man stumbles in, unsteady on his feet, eyes darting around like there’s someone watching him from the corners. At first, you assume he’s simply clumsy or perhaps nursing a killer hangover so you steel yourself for a tricky conversation. “Good morning, what can I get started for you today?” you start, looking him up and down subtly to see if he’s a member of the university staff or a stranger who has somehow wandered onto campus. The man slams his hand down on the counter and you jump, heart skipping. Up close, you can make out the sweat beading on his pale forehead and the way his lips move like he’s saying something, though no sound leaves his dry lips. You try again. “Sir?” “Coffee,” he rasps. You force another polite smile because of course you want a coffee from a cafe, don’t waste my time, and reach for a cup. “Of course. Would that be a cappuccino or latte or something else?” Instead of answering you, his head jerks to the side as if hearing a conversation you can’t. In doing so, his eyes meet Spiderman’s and they widen almost comically, his body jerking away. Spiderman stiffens, shoulders tensing as he shoots the customer an incredulous look. “Woah, chill. It’s just me.” The man staggers back another step, chest heaving, breath rattling like something is crawling up his throat. You frown. “Sir, you’re looking a little pale. Maybe you should sit down and—” His head snaps toward you so sharply you swear you hear the crack of his vertebrae. His eyes, wild and bloodshot, fix onto you with a sudden intensity that makes you pause. His lips peel back from his teeth into a nasty snarl, and you realise with a cold shiver that he is talking to himself. You quickly correct yourself. He wasn’t talking to himself, but to something else. The man’s head jerks to the side again, harder this time. “Won’t stop… won’t stop talking…” You swallow. “I mean, it’s kind of my job to ask you.” His answer comes out distorted, two voices overlapping. “We said leave him alone!” His hand suddenly shoots out, slamming into the counter so hard the marble cracks. A slick, black sheen ripples up his arm, coating his fingers like tar before forming claws.
His hand suddenly shoots out, slamming into the counter so hard the marble cracks. A slick, black sheen ripples up his arm, coating his fingers like tar before forming claws. You stumble back, dropping the cup in your hands and making a sharp noise that has the man turning to you, eyes pitch-black. “Um, Spiderman?” you whisper, hands clutching the side of the counter as you back away from the man. “Want to do your job or…?” Before you can even process what’s happening, the man lunges across the counter at you, knocking over your carefully stacked paper cups. You make an embarrassing sound, half-surprise, half-protest as you instinctively attempt to back away though it’s not enough considering the feral determination the man has in reaching you. In a blur, Spiderman leaps and lands on his hands and feet on the ceiling, flinging his arm toward you to latch a web around your torso. He yanks you to him, the world tilting for a fraction of a second as the web wraps around your arms and pins them to your side. The momentum spins you round and round until you finally settle, slowly rotating. Blood rushes to your head and a nearby crash makes you jolt, eyes widening to pinpoint the danger. Turns out, Spiderman has wrapped you in a cocoon of web and left to dangle like a pinata from the ceiling. “Hey!” you protest, struggling against the web. The movement only causes you to spin around and you hastily jerk your body to the side to watch the scene. “Let me down!” Spiderman drops to the floor, one hand splayed across the ground, the other tense and alert in the air. He momentarily breaks his focus to give you a double take. “What the—I’m keeping you safe. Stop wiggling!” You can hear it then, the sound the man’s making. Not quite a growl, at least not a human one, but a low, guttural rasp that vibrates through his chest. Panic and fear only grow within you, and you struggle with a little more determination to get down and run for the hills, when the man emerges from behind the counter. He lunges again, this time faster, propelled by a strength that is definitely not human. Black tendrils burst from his back, flinging chairs aside like toys. Spiderman dodges easily, flipping over a table and ducking behind it, firing a web that snaps against the man’s shoulder. It doesn’t hold. The black substance simply absorbs it, melting it away like cotton candy in a river. “Okay,” Spiderman mutters, kicking the table into the man too and watching as he easily smacks it away. “That’s new.” The creature lets out a distorted laugh. “Spiderman,” it sneers. “That’s me. Have we met before?” Spiderman doesn’t wait for an answer, slinging a web at the man’s wrist and yanking him hard into the counter. The espresso machine crumbles under the intense weight and puffs out a powerful blast of steam as it malfunctions. The figure avoids the steam with a sharp hiss, black tendrils catching from the bulk of the fall and throwing himself back up, grabbing onto the mini fridge display and hurling it back at the superhero. You gasp when you rotate to face the chaos. “You’re wrecking my cafe!” “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on right now?” Spiderman shoots back, ducking. “File an insurance claim or something!” He swings a chair into the side of the figure and you watch mournfully. “My chairs…”
“Again, there might be bigger things to worry about!” A giant fist surges forward from the black gunk oozing down his chest and knocks Spiderman back. The superhero lets out a punched-out gasp, slamming into the wall of the cafe and knocking down some purely-for-interior-design-aesthetic fake coffee bean bags. Spiderman tries to sling himself onto the arm and swing around, but the substance only consumes the webbing, swallowing it before it can take hold. “Spiderman!” You twist uselessly in your cocoon, the web binding your arms tight to your sides. Your brain scrambles for something, anything that could possibly help. Your eyes lock onto the man as its gooey limbs swell and stretch, pulsing with inhuman strength. Another fist forms, held back in the air as if winding up, clearly aimed at the gasping Spiderman on the cafe floor. “Is this another tactic of yours? I think you fight better on both feet!” Spiderman spits blood through the cuts of his mask. “Yeah,” he wheezes, “That’s the plan.” The fist hands there for one awful second, huge and glistening and very much about to redecorate the floor with Spiderman’s internal organs. Your gaze snaps wildly around the cafe, desperate for anything useful beyond the humiliating fact that you are currently trussed up. You make a mental note of everything, the counter, syrup bottles, cups, broken glass, ruined pastries, the espresso machine wheezing its last breath in the corner, split open and spitting angry jets of steam every few seconds. “Spiderman!” you blurt. Spiderman, still flat on his back and one near-death experience away from becoming part of the floor plan, tilts his head weakly. “Can this wait? I’m in the middle of something.” “The espresso machine!” “What about it? Do you want a latte before I die?” “The steam, you idiot!” The creature finally slams its fist down, cracking the granite flooring and thankfully not squishing a spider. The superhero rolls onto his side with a pained hiss, flicking his wrist to wrap web around the nuzzle of the steamer. “Okay,” he starts. “And how do I use this exactly?” The man quickly regains its bearings and starts for Spiderman again as the superhero uselessly fiddles with the steam wand. You jerk in your cocoon. “The knob! Turn the silver knob on the side!” Spiderman slaps the wrong thing and a burst of frothy milk sprays across the counter and onto the floor. “Is that it?” “The other one!” He twists the correct knob just as the creature lunges. The machine screams as it blasts a vicious plume of steam straight forward. You watch as he yanks the steamer around at the last second, aiming it right into the thing’s chest and face. The black mass recoils with a horrible, scraping cry that makes you wince, and begins to peel back from the man’s skin in a movement not unfamiliar to you. The tendrils make one last feral swish, slamming into shelves and sending coffee beans, ceramic mugs, and one very expensive grinder crashing to the ground.
Spiderman cranks the wand harder, and the machine gives one final screech before coughing out another blast of steam. The goo convulses, writhing up the man’s neck and shoulders almost as if hesitating. The man underneath drops to his knees gasping, his face finally visible beneath the slick black sheen. Spiderman doesn’t hesitate and fires a web at the industrial kettle behind the counter, yanking it straight off the shelf and hurls it at the goo. The kettle smashes into only the creature and bursts with boiling water, prompting the symbiote to let out another inhuman sound before tearing free and sliding away. For a few seconds, all you hear is your own pulse in your ears. Spiderman staggers to his feet, a faux-casualness to his posture that is betrayed entirely by the way his eyes never leave the man. “Okay,” he pants. “Crisis averted.” You glare down at him from your cocoon, still swaying gently. “Did you have to take out half the café to do so?” “It was a necessary evil.” When the man doesn’t move, Spiderman finally relaxes and places his hands on his hips, letting out a slow exhale. “Jesus, that really sucked. The worst part is, even after all of that, the real enemy still managed to escape. But no casualties, no broken bones this time, and I saved a citizen. I’d call that a job well done.” He grins up at you. You pull your lips into a smile. “Great. I’m so happy for you. Can you please get me down now?” Spiderman tilts his head thoughtfully. “True. This isn’t your best angle.” “Spiderman.” “Alright, alright.” He fires a quick web and you drop. Before you can scream, he catches you in his arms and starts cutting through the web with a small knife. “You okay?” he asks softly, his mouth ghosting the shell of your ear. You nod, your heartbeat still racing from it all. When he pulls away, the webs falling off you like they had never clung to you at all, the two of you survey the café. Distantly, you hear the cry of multiple sirens. “What is that thing, seriously?” you whisper. If you had a penny for every time you had come face to face with an ooey, gooey monster, you’d have two pennies—which wasn’t a lot, but it was strange that this had happened twice. You turn to Spiderman for answers, but he looks just as blank.
“I think it’s something like a symbiote. Takes over a human host and all that, like a parasite.” Catching your frightened look, Spiderman straightens. “Hey, don’t look so glum. You handled that better than most.” “I’d rather never be in the position to find that out in the first place.” He reaches over and ruffles your hair playfully, ignoring both the involuntary wince that escapes him as he raises his arm and your feeble protests. “You did great. The steam idea saved us.” “The steam… the espresso machine!” You hastily pull away to look around the café again, this time properly taking in the damage. “You broke everything!” “I saved your life?” he offers, edging away subtly. “My manager is going to have my head!” As if on cue, you feel a vibration against your thigh. Reaching down into your pocket for your phone, you read through the notifications with a growing sense of dread. manager: ?? what’s going on why am i seeing a news reporter outside my cafe why am i seeing it on the news right now why is the door off its hinges is that a hole in my window? y/n pick up You wince. “Spiderman, mind explaining to my manager what happened—Spiderman?” When you turn around, you’re met with nothing, just the sight of tables and chairs on their side and the glass of the window shattered. The sirens get closer and something like deja vu creeps in. “You fucking jerk!”
you: hey!! so ik ure oh so busy but i think we should meet up to rehearse our speech before we present r u free 12pm today?
toru: woahhh u texted first ?!
you: and probably meet at the library oh what the hell u replied so fast
toru: maybe i was waiting for ur text all day
you: wait why did i grimace anyway are u down?
toru: sure i’ll try! meet u at our usual table ><
You climb the stairs up to the library, chuckling softly at the memory of Gojo’s texts. Surprisingly, Gojo is already sitting in his seat when you arrive. He pauses his typing and pulls down one side of his headphones, looking over his shoulder at you. His eyes light up and you offer him a small wave, watching as he responds enthusiastically.
“You didn’t stand me up.”
You chuckle drily, pulling out your seat beside him and sitting down. “What is this, some bad first date?”
Gojo grins like you’ve said something particularly funny. “Is that your go-to line or something?”
“What?”
“Oh, uh. Nothing.” He looks away, swiping his finger across the trackpad.
When he doesn’t say anything else, you take it as your cue to take out your things, still eyeing him. “Didn’t bring your mouse today?”
“You remembered?”
You make a face at his sudden hopeful expression. “You’re being weird.”
He slumps back into his chair. “Yeah, I gave myself the ick. I’m just nervous.”
“About?”
He hums, looking away at the rest of the library. “Stuff.”
You let that sit for a moment, then try to steer things back toward the reason you’re both here. For a while, you make a decent attempt at studying. You open your laptop, pull up your notes, ask him a question about the assessment that he answers after a beat too long. But it quickly becomes obvious that whatever is making him weird hasn’t gone away. He keeps glancing down at his notes only to stare straight through them, then out the window, then back at his laptop. Every few seconds he finds a new way to fidget: tapping his pen, rubbing the back of his neck, shifting in his chair, bouncing his leg under the table.
By the time he starts clicking his pen open and shut, you give up pretending not to notice. You lean back slightly and raise an eyebrow at him. “Something else you’d rather be doing?”
He stills at once, like he’s been caught. “Maybe,” he admits after a second. “Kind of.”
You narrow your eyes. “Kind of?”
Gojo huffs out a breath and glances at you, then away again. “Okay, don’t laugh, but there’s this shounen manga pop-up showcase at the central library right now. And I thought—since we’ve talked about Digimon and all that stuff—maybe you’d want to go check it out with me.”
You blink. “Go together?”
He scratches the back of his head, suddenly finding the edge of his laptop intensely interesting. “I mean, yeah. Not like a date or anything. Just as friends. Or whatever. We’ve both been staring at the same five pages for the last twenty minutes, so I thought maybe we could take a break before coming back. I heard they’ve got themed pastries at the ground floor café too, and I’m pretty sure there’s a huge stand of that one character you like.”
You can’t help but laugh softly. “Friends, huh? Alright, sure. Sounds like fun.” The relief that flashes across his face is immediate and almost embarrassingly obvious. He leans back in his chair, grinning so widely it’s hard not to laugh again. “Really? Alright, cool. Cool. Friends. Totally casual.” He slams his lid close and starts shoving it into his case. You blink before mirroring his gesture with your own belongings. “Oh, you meant right now?” He looks up, already halfway done packing.“Is there any better time than the present?” There probably is, considering you had both technically come here to study, but the fond exasperation that thought should bring never fully arrives. Instead, you find yourself closing your laptop too, slipping your charger back into your bag as he waits with barely restrained excitement. If you told the version of yourself from a few months ago that you’d willingly abandon studying to follow Gojo somewhere, you would’ve laughed in your own face. But the walk turns out to be fun. More than fun, actually. He talks the whole way, hands moving animatedly as he jumps between topics and drags you along with him, and by the time the central library comes into view, you’re almost disappointed the walk was so short. Gojo’s eyes are bright as the automatic doors slide open. He looks almost boyish like this, all open excitement and easy chatter, and you’re still watching him when that expression falters. You follow his gaze around the corner and toward the signs for the display, your own smile quickly dropping. It’s underwhelming, to put it lightly. A small corner of the library has been cordoned off, just a few tables with stacked manga, a sparse display of badges pinned to a board against the wall, and a few posters of famous shounen series plastered against the nearby walls. Gojo slows, his shoulders slumping as the excitement drains from him. “Oh. Uh.” He takes in the scene though, it doesn’t take long due to the size of the exhibit. “It’s… smaller than I thought.” “That’s what she said.” You glance at him, trying to mask your own surprise at the tiny setup. “Hey, it’s okay. Maybe there’s more elsewhere!” He follows you like a lost puppy as you explore the nearby areas, though it quickly becomes clear there’s nothing more than the original display. Even the café at the entrance is lacking. It only has one themed dessert, and it’s a poorly designed cake pop of Happy from Fairy Tail, his tiny round chocolate eyes seemingly staring off to the side where a normal chocolate chip cookie sits. Gojo winces at the cake pop and you offer to buy it for him. He shakes his head, hesitant to separate it from the cookie since it seems like it wants it so badly. When your feet circle back to the pathetic tables, even you struggle to stay upbeat. He shakes his head, a small, defeated grin forming. “Man, that sucks. I guess I just imagined it being a little more… epic. You know, life-sized statues, endless merch, chaos everywhere, not”—he gestures to the badges—“badges.”
“Badges can be cool,” you try, tracing the edge of one. “There are only badges of all the mainstream anime,” he mumbles, coming up to stand beside you. Due to the tiny display, you’re shoulder to shoulder, your arm brushing his. “God, this fucking sucks. My bad, Y/N. I was hoping we could look at all the manga together, but all I managed to do was waste your time. We can just go back to the library and continue studying.” You frown at his dejected tone, and when you look over, he’s pouting. His shoulders are slumped, his hands absentmindedly fidgeting with a badge, spinning it back and forth with no real interest, and his lips are jutted out in an almost cartoonish pout. When his eyes shift at your attention, you quickly look away and hope he didn’t catch the slight quiver of your lips. Then, before you can think better of it, you grab a badge off the display and pin it to his chest. When he starts to look down, you lift his chin with your finger instead. He blinks at you, owlish, and you can’t help but smile at the clueless look in his eyes. “Ask me a yes-or-no question,” you say. “To try and guess what character’s badge I just pinned on you. C’mon, I bet you won’t get it.” For a moment, you think your forced enthusiasm has put him off and that he won’t play along. But then he suddenly scoffs, his lips tugging up. “Are they a girl?” “No.” It’s contagious and you find yourself smiling back. He purses his lips, and you recognise the signature glint in his eyes when he’s concentrating. He hums, thinking a little more seriously. “Is the series he’s from released before 2020?” “Yes.” “Is he part of a trio?” “Seriously? We’re talking about shounen right now. Almost every shounen series has a trio.” You giggle. “But no, he isn’t.” He rolls his eyes. “Is the character the main character of the series?” “No, but I’d say a lot more people like this character over the actual main character.” “Is he from a sports anime?” “No.” “Could he be in a sports anime?” That catches you off guard and you scrunch your face up in thought. “I honestly can’t imagine him doing any sport. He might be a perma-benched player that’s only there for strategy.” “Is he, like, a mentor character?” You pout a little at how on-the-nose his question is. “Yes.” “Does he have powers?” “Yes.” He clicks his fingers. “Ah. Does he have a signature weapon?” “Well, he uses a gun often, but his powers aren’t related to his weapon of choice.”
“So his powers aren’t offensive?” “Exactly.” He hums, a smile growing on his face. “Is the manga based in the modern era?” “Yes.” “Is he dead?” “No, but there was a moment when everyone was freaking out because it almost seemed like he was dead.” “Brown hair?” “Yes.” Gojo clicks his fingers in realisation. “Okay, I’ve got it. Is it Dazai?” He might as well have shouted eureka. His face brightens, hanging on your next words to confirm or deny his victory. You giggle, nodding, and the smile he gives you is full of childlike wonder. “Close your eyes. It’s your turn.” You do so. “I bet I can guess it with fewer questions than you.” He snorts. “You’re on.” A few customers shoot you dirty looks when they walk past, clearly not appreciating your giggles as you and Gojo take turns playing your own chopped version of celebrity heads. Time seems to pass quickly over laughter and jokes until you finally reach up to unpin the latest badge to place it back. He stops you, hands covering yours. “Let me buy that for you,” he says with a lingering smile. You raise an eyebrow but let him take it off your hands. “Who said I even want this?” “Come on, it’ll be like we’re matching.” “They’re not even from the same series.” “Not to anyone else,” he muses, thumb stroking the front of the badge like it’s something precious. “But we'll know they’re connected and that’s good enough to call them matching.” You turn away, suddenly far too aware of the warmth rising to your face. Clearing your throat, you gesture toward the manga shelves down the aisle. “Let’s go see what else they’ve got. Sure, we came for the pop-up, but we’re still in a library.” He follows after you, noticeably lighter on his feet than before, and you let out a small sigh of relief. Then, almost immediately, you berate yourself for the tiny flutter in your chest. Why does that even matter? you scold yourself, brushing the feeling aside. Before you can dwell on it for too long, he pinches your sleeve and tugs you gently toward him when your pace slows. “Have you read this?” “Not yet,” you admit, though a small smile creeps onto your face at the sight of his enthusiasm. Without missing a beat, he launches into an animated explanation of the series, waving his hands as he talks. Sometimes it feels like he’s speaking more with his fingers than with actual words, sketching out invisible diagrams in the air as he links characters and plot points together. His sentences tumble over each other as he rambles about character motivations, why one of them is a complete fraud, and why the plot veers dangerously close to deus ex machina territory, only cutting himself off with an apologetic smile right before he spoils something major.
“And I swear the author gave up halfway through the series. The manga finished in 2023, by the way, but I think by the end he’d already landed a deal for a spin-off and started putting all his effort into that instead. You know what I saw on Twitter recently? People were hyping up this one line like it was amazing foreshadowing, but it’s not even good foreshadowing because, come on, the final fight was so cheap. Like when—” He stops himself abruptly. “Oh, wait. You can’t know that yet.” You nod along, trying to keep up with the flood of names, locations, and arc points that mean absolutely nothing to you, but the sheer energy in his voice is contagious. Somehow, it’s impossible to be annoyed or bored when he’s like this, completely in his element. Eventually, you stop trying to follow every detail. Instead, your attention drifts to him. The way his hair keeps falling into his eyes, forcing him to run a hand through his bangs only for them to slip right back into place seconds later. The way his brows knit together when he rants, only to lift again the moment he gets to a part he genuinely loves. Despite the noise of the busy library, his voice rises above everything else, clear and captivating, demanding your attention without even trying. It’s almost impressive how quickly his mouth keeps up with his thoughts. You squint slightly, watching the shape of his lips around each word just to confirm that yes, it really is him speaking that fast and not some video playing in the background. You realise a second too late that he’s stopped talking. You blink and look up at him. His brows are furrowed, though not in the same way as before, and you hate that you now know the difference. “Uh, you still with me?” You blink a few more times, then shake your head slightly as if to clear the haze. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.” Gojo tilts his head, clearly amused. “Really? Because you look a little dazed.” Heat rushes to your face and you quickly drop your gaze to the manga in his hands, as if that had always been the focus of your attention. “Yeah, of course I was listening. Something about deus ex machina, right?” He snorts softly. “I finished talking about the ending minutes ago. You don’t have to pretend if you weren’t paying attention.” You roll your eyes, hoping your embarrassment isn’t as obvious as it feels. “Fine. Maybe I got a little distracted.” His grin widens at that, though it softens around the edges as he steps a little closer. “Distracted, huh? By what?” You hesitate, heart doing something strange at the way he’s looking at you. “Nothing.” “Really?” “Really,” you shoot back. “Alright then,” he concedes, though the glint in his eyes never fades. “I guess I’ll just have to step up my explanations next time so you don’t get distracted again.” He slides the manga carefully back onto the shelf, nudging the surrounding volumes aside to make room and making sure none of the pages bend as he slots it into place. There has to be something wrong with you, because even that small gesture makes warmth bloom in your chest. You make a mental note to check the series out when you get home. Gojo turns back to you and gestures for you to lead the way. “Your turn.” He listens as you tell him about one of your favourite manga series, and the embarrassment of getting caught fades quickly as you explain exactly why it’s a masterpiece. When it’s his turn again, you make a conscious effort to pay attention and not drift off into another daydream. So when he asks if you were actually listening this time, you huff and answer every one of his questions with ease.
He grins at you like you’ve handed him the world. Eventually, the two of you leave the library with less merch than you’d expected walking in, but with two badges that mean more than you’d ever dare admit. He doesn’t fasten his onto the front of his bag with the rest of his pins and accessories, mumbling something about wanting to keep it safe, so you keep yours in your pocket instead, your thumb brushing over its smooth surface as you walk. You expect him to call it a day after that, maybe peel off with some excuse about having things to do, but instead he tugs lightly on your sleeve. “C’mon.” “Where?” “Cafe run. My treat.” You raise a brow. “Since when do you buy me coffee?” “Since you saved this disaster of a day,” he says matter-of-factly, already steering you toward the street with a hand at your shoulder. “Besides, it’d be cruel not to feed you after I made you listen to my manga rants for hours.” You snort, but you don’t fight him on it. The truth is, coffee does sound nice, even if you remain slightly mystified by the idea of going with Gojo of all people. You frown a little when the thought doesn’t leave you disgusted. You’re still mulling over the drink options when Gojo steps up to the counter to order. “Can I get an iced matcha latte—” He cuts himself off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just an iced matcha latte, thanks. Oh, and a vanilla soy latte.” You eye him as he thanks the cashier, pays, and nods toward the waiting area. Seeing no reason not to follow, you move to stand beside him again. “Are you drinking two drinks?” “Stupid.” He pokes your forehead in a way that, annoyingly, you can’t bring yourself to hate. “One of them is for you.” “The… vanilla latte?” “Yeah.”You dip your head, trying to catch his eye. “Why aren’t you looking at me all of a sudden?”
He shrugs, suddenly fascinated by the blank wall behind the counter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
You study him for a second before letting out a small laugh. “Well, you got lucky. That’s kind of my go-to order. How did you know?”
“I guess you just look like you’d want something like that.”
You stare at him. “Oh yeah? I just have the look of someone who likes vanilla lattes?”
He only hums in response.
You frown a little as you take him in properly: the way he rocks back and forth on his feet, hands tucked into his pockets, trying very hard to look unaffected. All he needs is a whistle to sell the act. Thankfully, one of the cashiers calls out his number, and he eagerly slips away to collect the drinks.
When he comes back, he hands you the vanilla latte. You take it with a small thanks, then pause as something occurs to you. “Oh. Send me your bank details. I’ll transfer you for the merch and the coffee,” you say, already reaching for your phone. When he doesn’t mirror the gesture, you look up. “It’s fine. I got it.” “What? No way. I don’t want to owe you anything.” “You don’t owe me anything,” he says. “I got it for you because I wanted to.” Slowly, you take your hand back out of your bag. “You did? That doesn’t sound like you.” “I would’ve thought you’d know me a little better after today,” Gojo says, finally looking at you with a smile. Then he gestures toward the door. “Come on. You’ll miss the bus back to the dorms.” “You’re being very weird, you know.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says with the kind of smile that only proves your point. He brushes past you, not unkindly, and takes the lead toward the bus stop. You stare at his back for a moment before letting out an amused huff and hurrying after him. “So you’re a matcha person, huh? How performative.” “Please. I liked matcha before it was cool.” “So you’re claiming to be an OG, then? Quick, name every matcha brand.” “That would take forever. I can tell you where this one came from, though.” Gojo takes a sip of his drink and hums in exaggerated thought. “This matcha was ground from the soils of Shizuoka Prefecture. I can even give you the row and column of the specific tea leaves used to make this drink.” You snort. “What is it then?” “32C, 82G.” “Are we playing Battleships?” The two of you share a short laugh at the bit, and the thought hits you strangely hard: you never imagined one day you’d be joking around like this with Gojo of all people. By the time you reach the station, the two of you stop beneath the shelter. “What number are you catching?” you ask, pulling out your phone to check the bus times. “Oh, I’m not catching the bus. I take the train.” You look up at him, incredulous. “What? Then why are you here?” He tilts his head, straw slipping from his mouth as he looks at you like you’ve said something ridiculous. “To make sure you get on the bus safe, obviously. It’s fine, I’m already here anyway. I’ll just wait with you until it comes.” “That’s… actually really nice of you.” Gojo shrugs. “I guess I just really care about the wellbeing of others.” “Wow. Your compassion for helping citizens would go crazy on a superhero résumé.” He laughs, though the sound comes out slightly off somehow, enough that you notice even if you can’t place why. “What? That’s insane. You think I’d make a good superhero? Me? That’s ridiculous. I’m a clutz and a nerd and hardly cut out for the whole saving-the-world thing.” You think back to the cricket incident and giggle softly. “Don’t count yourself short. I think you’re a lot more capable than you give yourself credit for, Gojo.” At that, he turns his head quickly and takes a sharp sip of his drink. “Satoru.”
“Hm?” You look up at him, wondering if the slight flush at the tips of his ears has anything to do with the late afternoon sun. “Everyone calls me Satoru but you,” he says, still not looking at you. “You might as well just call me Satoru too. It’s weird if you don’t.” It takes a few seconds for the words to fully sink in. By then, he only seems to shrink further into himself, taking long, noisy pulls from his straw. By the time you recover enough to smirk, his cup is almost entirely ice. You lean in slightly, trying to catch his eye. “What a cheesy thing to say. Don’t tell me you’re—” The rest dies on your tongue when he finally glances down at you. The same pink tint at his ears has spread across his cheeks. He frowns despite it, brows drawing together. “Forget it. I knew you wouldn’t take me seriously.” He pulls the straw from his mouth and shakes the cup for more drink, only for the ice to rattle uselessly. With visible annoyance, he takes the shot and tosses the empty cup into the bin. “Sorry for dragging you all the way out here today. Your bus is probably coming soon, so I’ll head off—” You gape at him. “Wait!” He freezes and turns back slightly. “Going to tease me? Save it for tomorrow.” “No,” you say quickly. “I was just surprised you wanted me to call you by your first name. I thought you hated me.” “Me?” he scoffs, turning around fully now. “You have to be joking.” “I’m serious,” you insist. “You were awful to me. I mean, you literally went out of your way to embarrass me when we barely knew each other.” He runs a hand through his hair and exhales. “Yeah, I know. I was… bad at that. I never hated you, Y/N. I just didn’t know what to do with you.” “The moment you start making sense, the world is going to end. I’m sure of it.” He laughs quietly, then looks at you again. “I’m trying to say that when you showed up and started showing me up, beating me and everything, I got a little intimidated. And maybe you were right all along, but I wanted you to notice me the way I’d started noticing you. So yeah, maybe I did start tugging on your pigtails just to get your attention. You were just so—” He cuts himself off, jaw tightening. “Never mind.” “Hold on,” you say, stepping closer. “You can’t do that. Finish it.” “Sorry. Free trial’s over. If you want me to keep going, that’ll be 200 diamonds—” “Satoru.” He closes his mouth immediately, eyes widening a fraction before he sighs. “Damn. I should’ve never asked you to say that.” You tilt your head, catching his gaze. “Please?” Something strained flashes across his face, like the word is lodged somewhere painful in his chest. “You were just so…” He exhales through his nose, defeated. “So bright that it was annoying. I couldn’t ignore you, even if I tried. Every time you laughed, my head would already be turning, and I hated it because you weren’t smiling at me.” You laugh awkwardly. “We weren’t exactly friends.”
“No,” he says softly. “That was the issue. But even then, I wouldn’t have been satisfied.” For a moment, neither of you says anything. The confession settles between you, large and impossible to ignore. You’ve given up trying to look at him because there’s a strange tightness in your chest making it hard to breathe, and Satoru looks like he’s doing everything in his power not to bolt. “Does that bother you?” he asks. Unable to speak, you shake your head. “Okay.” He exhales slowly. “Then can I try something?” You look up just as he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand hovers there for a moment, giving you an out. You don’t take it. Mostly because your feet feel rooted to the pavement beneath you. “Satoru,” you whisper, and he seems to find whatever answer he was searching for in your eyes. He leans in slowly, like he’s afraid the moment might shatter if he moves too quickly. Your breath mingles. He hesitates, and you give him the smallest encouragement by leaning in too. Your noses brush with a ticklish little bump, and the whole world narrows to the space between your mouths— Then a sharp buzz cuts through the quiet. It doesn’t register properly in your mind at first. You only know it sounds ugly against the stillness. But Satoru knows immediately. He freezes. So do you.bThen comes the second vibration. His shoulders sag. His forehead drops forward and bumps lightly into yours. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mutters. “Everything okay?” you ask, though you already know the answer. He pulls back just enough to take his phone out and glance at the screen. Whatever he sees drains all the softness from his face, replacing it with that familiar unreadable tension. “Yeah,” he says, forcing a crooked smile. “I, uh, have to go. Family emergency. Again.” You smile back. “I hope everyone’s okay.” “Right. Yeah.” “You should probably go.” “Right.” He lingers for another beat, phone held uselessly in his hand, before clearing his throat and stepping back. “I’ll call you tonight?” “Yeah. Tonight.” “Cool,” he says. “Cool, cool, cool, cool. Get home safe, yeah?” “Yeah.” You keep smiling even as he starts to walk away. “Thanks for today.” You watch him go for far longer than you should, long enough that his figure starts to blur into the movement of the street beyond the bus stop. Only when he disappears properly do you let your smile falter, your hand tightening slightly around the paper cup. It hits you then, all at once and without mercy, how badly you are in trouble. You stare down at your coffee like it might offer guidance and find none. Oh, you are so doomed.
Spiderman’s muscle strain against the cold sticky goo binding his wrists behind his back, the sharp bite of them digging into his skin as he knelt on the rough warehouse floor. His suit clings to him like a second skin, torn across his chest and down his thigh from the brutal fight. There’s a gash above his eyebrow that’s dripping blood into his eyes, but for some reason his vision is clear. The amazing Spiderman makes it his purpose to never stay down for long. This time, however, he wonders if he even wants to get back up. Venom looms over him with a maw of jagged teeth and eyes like void fixed down on him with predatory amusement. “Spiderman down on his knees. What a sight.” Gojo smirks under his mask even as his knees ache and cold air brushes the exposed skin around his mouth. “I hate to break it to you but I’m not into oversized ink blots,” he spits. “And don’t get so cocky too soon. Haven’t you played Darkest Dungeon? Overconfidence is a slow and insidious killer.” “There’s always a response rearing to go from that tongue of yours, isn’t there?” Venom hisses. “Always so self-assured, always so prepared. I wonder how long that peace you know will last.” “If I wanted my fortune read I would have gone to a tarot card reader.” Venom laughs and the sound is suddenly so achingly familiar that Gojo freezes, something primal overturning into his stomach telling him to run. But there’s nowhere to run, not when his wrists are tied behind his back, not when he’s kneeled at the feet of his archnemesis, and especially not when the tendrils of the villain slowly pull back to reveal a humanoid form Satoru knows far too well. The black mass ebbs back from Venom’s face, appendages retracting with a wet slurp, revealing— Her. You. The girl from the 5th floor of the campus library that he kept seeing that one finals season a whole year ago, the one he once told Geto about until he saw you again with his childhood friend and decided you were firmly off-limits. The same girl he suddenly couldn’t miss in the crowd when 5pm hits and the tired students pour out seeking night outs or cozy night ins, the same girl who when he finally had a class with, had quickly cut him down with a glare that sent a jolt right through his body. The face he thinks about when he’s alone in the dark of his room, one hand down his pants and the other holding his phone. Your pretty lips now curl into a smirk as your piercing eyes that he just loves to pretend to hate, locks onto his, full of mocking triumph. The symbiote suit hugs your curves like liquid, accentuating every sway of your hips as you step even closer. Wait, what the fuck? Gojo opens his mouth to say something but his breath hitches and the quip dies on his tongue.
“What the—Y/N? What are you—” He cuts himself off when you laugh, soft and familiar, a sound far too beautiful for a grungy place like this. “What’s wrong, Spidey?” you purr, voice lilting with mock innocence. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or maybe—” He’s almost certain he stops breathing altogether as you roughly tilt his chin up with one long tendril, staring at your face because there’s nothing else to do. “You see something you like?” He splutters. “This is bullshit. You’re not Venom, you can’t be. This has to be some kind of symbiote mind-fuck trick.” “What’s wrong? You’ve lost your composure all of a sudden.” Gojo growls, a feral sound dragging up his throat. “Don’t fucking look into my mind. Stop looking like her!” You coo, lips pretty and downturned. “Stop? How can I? Spiderman, I am her.” Your words make him shudder and you press on. “Ah, so it’s about that, is it? Poor, little Spiderman, torn in so many little directions. You can’t decide whether to be Satoru or this silly attempt at being a superhero.” He flinches when his name slips from your lips, remembering how soft it had sounded when you first said it, cheeks pink and eyes fluttering down. Seeing you standing over him now, eyes harsh and unforgiving, he feels a stirring in his gut that only pushes him closer to the edge. “No snarky response this time?” “You can’t be her.” “Why not? I could be anyone.” You lift a foot and press it against his thigh, pushing it outwards casually. “Why don’t we be truthful for once, hm? And stop hiding behind all these secrets? It’s not that I can’t be her, it’s that you don’t want me to be. You’ve always vented to Suguru about how nice it would be to have it both but this is the one thing you don’t want to share with Spiderman. Me. And yet, you go against yourself and seek me out as both. Why?” Gojo grits his teeth. “I don’t have to explain anything to you. You know nothing about me.” “Oh, but I promise you I don’t miss much.” Your foot trails higher, nudging now against his inner thigh and despite the situation, he flinches, that unfamiliar feeling spilling into something scarily recognisable.
“Hold on—” “Looks like you’re still not being completely truthful, Satoru,” you purr and he hisses. Your foot presses against the bulge straining his suit, the pressure firm and deliberate. Gojo’s hips jerk involuntarily, a sharp exhale escaping him as you drag your sole along his length. “Get off me,” he growls, but it sounds more like a plea, his voice husky and ragged. He tries to shift away, wrists twisting futilely in the bindings, but his body betrays him and he leans into the friction instead. Your boot works him slowly, the leather cool against the heat building under his suit. “Make me,” you taunt, eyes gleaming with wicked amusement. You don’t let up, your foot dragging slowly now, tracing the outline of his cock with teasing precision and his hips respond but bucking up involuntarily, pleasure sparking hot and fierce. He clamps his jaw, trying to stifle the sound, but it rumbles out anyway. “This…” His eyes flutter as you press down particularly hard, forcing a smirk even as his breaths come out ragged. “This is your master plan? You’re more of a—ngh—pervert than I thought.” You tilt your head, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Master plan? Do I need a reason to do any of this? Maybe I’ve finally decided to do something about all that eye-fucking you’ve been giving me in class. Thought I wouldn’t notice?” Your boot grinds down harder, the ridged sole catching on the zipper of his suit, right over where his cock throbs insistently. He bites back a moan but it slips out anyway, loud and guttural, his thighs quivering under the pressure. His face flushes deeper, those blue eyes narrowing in a mix of defiance and desperation. “You’re… not her. Can’t be. She'd never—” His words cut off as you twist your ankle, dragging the boot’s toe along his balls through the tight fabric, making them tighten and draw up. “Never what? Touch you like this? Make you beg with just a foot?” You lean in closer, whispering in his ear so soft he almost can’t hear over his pounding heartbeat. “Admit it, web-head. You've jerked off thinking about me pinning you down, haven’t you? All those stolen glances in the hallway, pretending you didn’t pop a boner every time I called you out.” Gojo’s breath hitches, his cock leaking pre-cum that soaks through the suit, darkening the material. He shakes his head but it’s weak, his hips rolling up to chase the friction despite himself. “Shut up. Just—hah—fuck off.” The growl lacks bite, cracking into a whine when you lift your foot slightly, denying him the pressure for a torturous second before pressing back down, slower this time, stroking from base to tip with deliberate drags. You chuckle. “Such a pretty liar. Look at you, kneeling there, dick pathetically hard. Bet you’ve never even been touched like this before, huh? Who knew Spiderman was all talk and no action.” Your boot circles the head of his cock, smearing the wet spot wider. He groans, loud and unrestrained now, his head tipping back as pleasure coils tight in his gut. “N-not… your business.” But his body’s honest, thighs spreading wider on their own and inviting more. Sweat beads on his forehead, trickling down his temple, and he forces his eyes open to glare at you, trying for a smirk. "If this is your idea of a fight, you’re losing. I could…fuck, I could break out anytime.”
You grin, a tendril slashing his suit to free his cock. it springs free, hard and leaking, tip flushed and begging to be touched. Gojo’s eyes flutter again when you touch him bare, a soft whine escaping despite his efforts. He rolls them back slightly, fighting the wave crashing through him, but his hips roll forward, chasing the pressure. “Admit it feels good. Or are you going to keep pretending you’re not leaking over my boot right now?" He bites his lip hard. “Feels like…feels like nothing. Barely notice it.” Total bullshit. Every drag sends sparks up his spine, his cock throbbing insistently, begging for more. He can't even seem to focus on what you’re saying anymore, not when you’re twisting your ankle like so, rubbing his sensitive tip and he can’t hold back a throaty moan, his body arching into it. “Nothing? Your dick’s twitching like it’s got a mind of its own.” “I could break these cuffs anytime,” he mumbles again as if convincing himself as if his hips aren’t thrusting up greedily, fucking into the rhythm. “Break them then. Or don’t. We both know you won’t.” The friction builds up relentlessly, up, down, the ball of your foot grinding against his mushroom head on every pass, sweat beading under his mask, eyes rolling back fully now as the coil winds tighter, pleasure bordering on overload. “Oh, fuck—” Gojo rasps, voice a wrecked mess of gasps and moans. “Too much? Gonna cum for me?” He shakes his head frantically, but the denial crumbles into a choked sob when you drag your heel along the underside, pressing firmly over the vein that throbs with every heartbeat. His cock jumps, tip flaring red, and a spurt of pre-cum leaks out, coating your shoe in glossy trails. “Come on, pretty boy. You're so close,” you coo. “No… shit, I—fuck!” His words fracture as you speed up, pumping his length in firm, unyielding strokes, up to smear over the sensitive ridge, down to crush against his balls, rolling them gently before lifting to repeat. His balls draw tight, heavy and full, aching for release, and he grinds his teeth in an effort to hold back but the pressure mounts, a white-hot knot twisting in his core.
You curl your fingers in his mask and yank it off, his white hair spilling down to reveal his wrecked expression, eyes rolling back and drool dripping from the corner of his lips. you grin, pure evil and glee before you tug his hair to make him look up at you. “Come on, Satoru,” you purr. “Show me how much you hate this, how much you need it.” The command shatters him. His entire body seizes, back arching off the cold floor as the orgasm rips through and his cock erupts in thick, forceful jets that splatter across your boot, your calf, even arcing up to hit his own abdomen. He cries out, voice breaking into a raw, uninhibited moan that echoes off the warehouse walls. “Fuck, yes—oh God, Y/N!” His hips jerk helplessly as you keep stroking him through it, dragging every last shudder from his body until he’s wrung completely dry. He’s whimpering by the end of it, oversensitive and trembling, head fallen back against the pillow, chest rising and falling in ragged pants. Cum spills down the front of his suit in sticky, obscene streaks, and still you don’t let him hide from it, your hand only slowing once he’s been pushed so far past pleasure it borders on cruelty. “Not bad for a virgin,” you murmur, voice sweet in that way that makes humiliation burn twice as hot. “Bet you’ve never made yourself cum that hard, huh? All those lonely nights jerking off to thoughts of me, and this is the best you could do?” Gojo’s face burns crimson, shame and bliss tangling together until he can’t tell one from the other. “Shut up,” he breathes, though it comes out broken and weak. “That didn’t mean anything.” “Really?” you ask, and the smile you give him is devastating. “Then why are you hard again? His gaze drops before he can stop it. Sure enough, his cock is already thickening back to life, flushed and twitching against his stomach as if his body has decided to betray him completely. When he looks up again, you’re licking your lips slowly, deliberately, and his mouth goes dry enough to hurt “Want me to show you what you’ve been missing?” you ask. “Or are you still going to pretend?” Gojo isn’t a weak man, he really isn’t. But with your foot still by his thigh, body so close and promises of warmth and softness beyond his filthies fantasies, and that look in your eyes like you already know exactly how this ends, he can feel himself caving. The word is already there, already rising up his throat, yes, yes, please— And then his eyes snap open. The darkness of his room hits him like cold water. For a second he can’t move. He just lies there, disoriented, heart hammering against his ribs hard enough to hurt, the last traces of the dream still clinging to him in flashes too vivid to shake. Your voice, your mouth, the heat of your body. The sight of you above him, cruel and beautiful and impossibly close. Then reality settles in, humiliating in its clarity. He’s alone. Flat on his back in a bed that’s too warm now, sheets tangled around his legs, boxers sticking damply to his skin. His cock throbs untouched, leaking embarrassingly through the fabric, still hard enough that the loss of the dream feels almost physically painful. He drags in a breath and it catches somewhere in his chest, shaky and shallow. He groans, burying his face in his pillow, cheeks burning even though no one is there to see it, and lies there in the aftermath of his own disgrace, hard and aching and still haunted by the sound of your voice.
Gojo is unfair. He knows he’s unfair. It’s hard not to when the reminder comes as easily as catching his own reflection in the dark screen of his laptop, or running a hand through his hair in frustration and knowing that, at the very least, having silky, soft, gorgeous white hair isn’t on his list of worries. It’s as easy as checking his grades at the end of every semester, his eyes drifting from an episode of Frieren on his laptop to the screen of his phone. When his gaze skims over his marks and settles on his final grade, Gojo knows he’s unfair. A crash in the street, someone yelling for help, and he’s already pulling on the blue-and-white mask and swinging out the window, because apparently good looks and a big brain weren’t enough. The universe had to make him Spiderman too. He knows what he is: smart, strong, and kindhearted (that last one might be a sneak). That robbery he stopped two weeks ago before his cardiovascular final? Yeah, no biggie. Did he just save a hijacked bus the morning of this very neuropharmacology tutorial? Yeah, but no sweat, he’ll still pass top of his class like always— “97%?” He watches you freeze and immediately slam the lid of your laptop down. You whip around to face the culprit who aired out your grade, temporarily stunned when it’s someone you don’t recognise. Gojo narrows his eyes. “How did someone like you get a 97?” His words come out too harsh to be surprise and lacking any warmth to come off as a congratulations. Because you don’t look like the kind of person who’d flash their grades around or fish for praise. If anything, you look horrified to have been noticed at all, eyes wide and shoulders tense like you’d been caught doing something embarrassing rather than scoring nearly full marks on a quiz the class had been stressing over ten minutes before it began. “What the fuck does that mean?” you hiss back. “Do you mind? Don’t look over my shoulder like a creep.” He smirks warily but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s a 97. That’s something to gloat about. Didn’t think it would come from someone like you though.” “So you’ve been saying. What does that even mean? I don’t look like the type of person to get a 97?” “Yeah,” he says bluntly, an answer seemingly as obvious as asking if grass was green or if the sky was blue. You press your lips together to avoid cussing him out in the chatty classroom. “Do I even know you?” “It would be hard to miss me,” he shoots back. “I’m the one that's been topping these quizzes since the semester started.” “Fell off, did you?” “Please, this was a fluke, princess.” You practically hum with irritation at the nickname. “And what did you get?” He puts up a firewall immediately. “That's nunya.” “What?” “None of your business.” He grins. You grimace at his evidently childish nature. “I don't think you can say that after shoving your ugly face into my business.”
You decide to take things into your own hands, standing up from your chair to reach back and snatch his laptop. He blinks at the sudden movement, momentarily distracted at your choice of words before it registers. And Gojo is Spiderman. He could easily grab your wrist and stop you before you get too close but there's something making him hesitate. You smell nice, he notes faintly, like vanilla and something artificial but sweet. It's your perfume no doubt, he just can't wrap his head around why it smelt so good. Your fingers successfully reach close around his laptop and lifts it off the table, placing it onto your thighs as your finger slides across the trackpad. You let out a victorious, “Hah!” which has him blinking out of his daze to follow your gesture and observe the damage, seconds too late from preventing it. His mark stares back at him. 92%. Gojo notices you then, which is embarrassing because he doesn’t even know your name. All he knows is that ever since the finals season began, you’ve taken his spot on the fifth floor of the library, head down, brows furrowed in that cute way indicating your immense concentration as you try to visualise what you’re learning by tracing words and formulas in the air. He doesn’t stay for long but the next day you’re still there in his spot, and then the next, and then the day after. He stopped caring about getting his spot back on the fifth day. He finds you everywhere else, chatting with friends on the lawn outside the north biological science building, giggling over brunch in the cafeteria, the smile you flash to your friends far kinder than the one you swung at him like a weapon that day in the tutorial room. You’re unfair. Gorgeous, always put together, nails adorned with charms and chrome, the confident click of your heels against the pavement introducing your entrance into every building with no shame. His ears always tune him into your conversations, and on the day that he discovered you had a sense of humour—a good one too, God forbid—he only seemed to hate you more. Because he is unfair, yes, he knows that. But there’s something restless in his chest and you’re unfair in a similar way, but finding a fault in you would be an impossible task. And that doesn’t swing with him. Because sometimes, Gojo feels like a stick adrift a river. Sometimes the currents are fierce and he sways here and there, a puppet to its frivolous nature, and sometimes the waters are calm though he is no less at its mercy than before. He’ll duck his head when people talk to him, do their part in the assessment because it’ll be as easy as opening his laptop and writing the first thing that comes to mind. He doesn’t care what anyone says about him, doesn’t care that they think he’s quiet when truthfully, his mind is always whirring to talk to someone.
He has his friends, he has Geto, he has Shoko. And recently, it seems he has you too. Bright, sweet, funny. You're beautiful and you don’t even know it. He leans in to the sound of your laughter, wants to feel your palm against his cheek, feel your soft pink lips against his eyelids and on his cheeks. He wants to lose himself in your voice, whether it’s to scold him or praise him he doesn’t care, just wants to be close again. “Satoru?” Gojo flinches, jolting up right, his hand slipping from under his chin to push up his headphones and knocking them clean off his head. They're connected by wire so he catches it easily enough, but they fall down to knock against his hand awkwardly. He looks up, meeting your bemused eyes as you stare down at him, the sun behind you, your hair tumbling down your shoulders. “Hey,” he says, breathlessly. “Oh, uh, want to sit? I mean—what are you doing here? I thought you were going for lunch with… Shoko.” His words trail off uselessly when you take him up on his offer, sliding a hand to smoothen your skirt as you sit, thighs brushing his. “I’ve been trying to get Shoko and Utahime together for ages so I thought this might be a good time. Besides, I saw you from up there.” You point up at one of the taller buildings and he mentally cheers for remembering your timetable right, fist bumping his past self for picking this spot to sun bathe. “Stalking me?” he teases softly, eyes searching your face. You bump your shoulder against his. “As if. This is a chance meeting.” He chuckles, unable to take his eyes off you. “So you're free for the rest of the day, then?” “Should be.” “Okay.” You look up at him and he whips his gaze forward. “Are you?” “Sorry?” “Are you free right now, Satoru?” “Uh—yeah! Yes, I am. Free, that is. I’m free right now.” He clears his throat when his voice comes out a little gravelly, ears burning as his own words come back to him. “Sorry, I’m just…” Thankfully, you laugh, eyes curving into cute little crescents and he thinks that even though you’re always pretty, this might be the best look on you. “Just what?” you ask, tilting your head. There's something unbearably fond in your expression, so unlike the start of the semester when you’d barely give him the time of day. “Nothing,” he lies instantly. Your brows lift and he caves under the weight of that look almost at once. “Not nothing. I mean—” He drags a hand down his face, groaning under his breath. “I’m sorry, I’m just being weird today.” “Please, you’re always weird.” He turns to you, scandalised. “You always say such nice things.” You smile. “You know what I mean.” He does, and that’s the problem. He knows what you mean when you call him weird, knows the exact shape of your affection when you look at him like this, all soft around the edges, voice gone warm enough to sink into. He’d call himself weird if he was in your position, perhaps crueler words, but you don’t say them even if he’s deserving. It makes his chest feel too full, like there’s something alive in there clawing to get out.
For a moment, neither of you say anything. the campus hums around you in the distance, voices drift past, the rustle of leaves overhead, the low grind of a bus somewhere beyond the gates. But here, tucked away on the bench half drowned in sunlight, it feels strangely private. You glance down at his hands. “You okay? You’re fidgeting.” He looks too. His fingers are indeed twisting the headphone wire around and around, enough that it’ll probably knot if he keeps going. He stills them immediately. “Am not.” You give him a look. “Nervous?” He lets out a laugh at that, because it’s either that or admit the truth and simply die on the spot. “What would I be nervous for?” Your shoulder brushes his again when you shift, and it is such a small thing, so accidental it may as well be nothing, and yet he stops breathing for a second anyway. “I don’t know,” you murmur. “You tell me.” Gojo stares at you. There are moments in life, he thinks, that split everything into before and after. Like how there’s before he got bit and after he got bit, those grandiose moments that define his life. This might be one of them. Maybe there will always be the version of him that sat on this bench with his heart halfway up his throat, and the version after, whatever that may look like. He hopes that version of him is smiling by the end of it. He swallows. “Actually, I've been trying to.” Your expression changes, playfulness softening. “Trying to tell me something?” “Yeah.” His voice comes out rougher than he means for it to. “Yeah, I—” He stops. should he really start this off with ‘yeah’? "I’ve kind of been meaning to say—no, that sounds equally as stupid.” He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. “Not stupid, just—I had this whole thing in my head, and it sounded way better in there, so now I’m trying to find it again and it’s just—” You’re staring at him like he’s hung the moon which makes things infinitely worse. Maybe that’s your default look. You do always look so pretty. You open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. “No, wait, I can do this.” He sits up a little straighter, like the posture alone will save him. "I just need one second because I know what I want to say, I do, it’s just every time I look at you, I forget how words work. Which is honestly humiliating and I probably shouldn’t have said that, so if you could stop being—stop looking at me like…” “Like?” You have to be messing with him at this point. “Just—can I say something mean?” You huff, pulling back a little. “What the fuck?”
“I just—I feel like I could fight with you for hours over stupid lab questions, and I always know exactly what to say then, but now—” He shakes his head, cheeks hot. “Now I can’t even get through one sentence. So maybe if I just say something mean like I always do, I'll—” You place a hand on his arm. “Don't ruin this. I’m not rushing you. You can take your time.” His body stiffens under your touch, fingers tightening around the wire in his lap. He loosens them forcefully only to tighten them again. “I think,” he starts, then winces. “No, I know that when I’m with you, everything just feels different. Like, way better. I like being around you, I like hearing you talk even when you’re telling me I’m annoying, which you do a lot, by the way. I like when you laugh at me and when you give me that look on your face right before you say something mean because you look like you want to kill me and that’s—something I probably deserve.” His mouth twitches despite himself. "I like walking you home. and I like when you ask me things you could’ve easily googled just because you know I'll know the answer.” There’s a small smile on your face as you lean in again, hanging off his every word. “And I—” he stumbles over the word, heart pounding in his chest. "I th-think, maybe, what I’m trying to say is that I—” He cuts himself off with a frustrated exhale, pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. “Jesus Christ." A laugh slips out of you and he blushes. “Don't laugh,” he says, mortified. “I’m not laughing at you.” “You're definitely laughing at me.” “Okay, but only a little.” You smile wide. “But didn’t you say you like that about me?” He groans, covering his face with his hands. “That wasn’t originally in the script.” “Satoru.” There’s something in the way you say his name that makes him look up again at once. You’re close now, pretty face taking up his field of vision, and he hadn’t even realised you’d moved closer. Or maybe he’s the one who did, unable to resist your gravity. Your gaze drops to his mouth and then lifts again, and the world seems to narrow until it is only this bench, this sunlit patch of afternoon, the space between you shrinking into something fragile and unbearable. He tries once more, because he has to, because if he doesn’t say it now he never will. "I want to kiss you,” he blurts, the words tumbling out, crooked and breathless. "I really, really want to kiss you, and i’ve been trying not to notice for a while now because I wasn’t sure if I can and I wasn’t sure if you—if you maybe—and I know this is probably not the smoothest way to say this but I just—”
Wait a minute, did he end up saying ‘I like you’ or did he just out that he’s been staring at your lips for the past five minutes now? It doesn’t seem to matter because you lean forward and kiss him. There's no great sweep of music, no fireworks, no impossible cinematic pan out encapsulating the sun. Just you, leaning in as if it is the most natural thing in the world, one hand coming up to cup the side of his face, your lips soft against his. Gojo stops thinking immediately. His whole body goes rigid for one stunned second before every thought in his buzzing head simply dissipates. Heat floods him all at once, sharp and dizzying, all the way up to the tips of his ears. He's only vaguely aware that he’s stopped breathing and that his eyes are open, and that he has absolutely no clue what to do with his hands. When you pull back, only just, your thumb brushes over his cheekbone. He stares at you. You stare back, mouth curving into a shy smile that nearly kills him where he sits. “Sure,” you say. “You can kiss me.” He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. His face must be bright red by now because your smile grows, softer and softer, and God, if he could bottle this moment and live inside it forever, he would. “You kissed me,” he says at last, intelligent as always. "I did.” “On purpose?” You laugh, and he thinks he might pass out. Oh yeah, he really does like it when you laugh at him. “No Satoru, by accident.” He makes a strangled noise somewhere between disbelief and delight. He can feel the heat of his face, knows he probably looks ridiculous, but for once he cannot bring himself to care, not even a little. All he can do is look at you with his heart in his throat and try, with limited success, to remember how these things should go. “Oh,” he says. Your brows pinch together in a fond little crease. “Oh?” “Sorry, I’m still stuck on the part where you kissed me.” “Do you need me to do it again?” you offer, smiling. “Though first, I think there’s something you still need to tell me. Want to give it another try?” Before he can answer, before he can even begin to think of an answer that wouldn’t make him sound completely insane, his phone vibrates sharply in his pocket. The sound cuts through the moment like a blade. He freezes, recognising the sound from one of two phones he always carries with him. It continues to vibrate, and there’s only one thing he can think of as his stomach drops.
No. Not now. You glance down toward the noise. “You should probably get that. It sounds urgent.” He nearly says no, nearly ignores it completely. But the device buzzes again, more insistently this time, and cold dread starts threading through the remains of his daze. He fumbles for it with clumsy fingers still not entirely his own, and glances down at the screen. suguru: venom sighing @ west park or one of his goons get over there All the colour drains and for one awful second, he just stares until the phone turns black and reflects his distraught expression back at him. You’re watching him now, the softness in your expression touched through with concern. “Everything okay, Satoru?” He forces a laugh that sounds thin even to his own ears. “Everything's fine, I just…” his mind scrambles wildly for something plausible, something ordinary, something that won’t make you look at him any closer than you already are and find the gaps in his lies. "It’s Suguru. He needs me.” That at least is believable. Suguru has needed him for stupider reasons. “Right now?” Guilt crashes through him so hard it almost makes him dizzy. Because your lips are still pink from kissing him, because he hasn’t even had a chance to kiss you back properly, because this is the moment he’s wanted for so long and now it’s slipping through his fingers before he can hold onto it. But people will get hurt if he doesn’t go. “Yeah,” he says, quieter now. “I’m sorry.” “Hey.” Your hand finds him again. “It’s okay.” It is absolutely not okay. Still, he nods. “I just—” He swallows. “Can I…can we…” You smile, though he wonders if it’s truly genuine. “Yes, idiot. We can talk later. Only if you promise to call me tonight.” “I will,” he’s quick to say. “I promise.” He stands too quickly and nearly tangles himself in his own headphone wire. You hide your laugh behind your hand and he feels a fresh wave of heat climb up his neck. “Smooth,” you quip. “Be nice to me,” he mutters, trying and failing to sound offended. You stand too, close enough that he can smell your perfume, can see the tiny details of your face that he’s spent far too much time pretending not to memorise. Now that he’s up, now that he’s about to leave, it feels close to impossible, almost absurd like every part of him is pulled to you. “Go,” you say softly. “Before Suguru gets himself in a mess.” He huffs out a breath. Then, because he’s greedy and because you’ve ruined him since a few minutes ago, he leans down and presses the quickest, clumsiest kiss to your cheek. It's barely there, gone almost as soon as it lands, but the look on your face after makes his heart stutter all over again. “I’ll definitely call you tonight. Please wait for me.” Gojo backs away before he can embarrass himself further or worse, before he changes his mind and decides the rest of the world can burn for ten more minutes. He wants to do something stupid like run back and kiss you properly this time like all the good movies do, but his phone feels heavy in his pocket, dragging him back to the version of himself you still don’t know. But even as urgency takes over, even as the river current catches him by the ribs and yanks, there is one bright impossible thing lodged firmly in his chest. You kissed him. You kissed him. And for the first time in a long time, Gojo thinks maybe he doesn’t mind being swept away at all.
Like a girl experiencing the lows of a situationship, your phone remains mercilessly silent the entire night. It’s the first thing you check the moment your eyes open to a new day, reaching over to check your notifications. Outlook emails, reddit notifications, and nothing from the only person you want to hear from. That’s fine, maybe the issue with Geto ended up being more serious than you initially assumed. Maybe he got caught up with a family emergency and passed out the second he got home. Maybe his phone died, or maybe he’d been too busy to send anything more than a mental apology into the universe and hope it reached you by divine. That is to say, you hear nothing from him all night. None of these excuses stop the ugly little feeling from settling in your chest. Your hand closes over your phone, open to your messages with him and embarrassingly showcases or last text to him left on delivered. For a moment, you wonder if the situation is appropriate enough to double triple text considering he’s already ignored your other texts, but eventually settle on nothing because no, actually, he can make the first move for once in his life. He had been the one stammering through half a confession, the one looking at you like you all devote and in awe while you only stared back mildly concerned he was going to burst a blood vessel, the one to kiss your cheek and promised to call all sweet-like. If he wants to disappear after that, then he can deal with the consequences without your help. The presentation goes just as well as you thought it would considering you’re running on an accumulated two hours of sleep and you’re missing a partner. Considering the assessment is a pair presentation, that seems pretty bad. You do your section first, voice steadier than you feel, though when you reach the point where he’s supposed to take over, there is a split second where your whole mind goes blank. Humiliation flashes through you hot and clean because this was meant to be the two of you and everyone can see it is not. Because beneath the frustration and embarrassment, there is something much worse curling inside you now. When you finish, the tutor thanks you with a sympathy that makes your skin crawl. As you hurry out of the lab, every sensation is suddenly all too much. the feeling of your tote under your arm, the clacking of your shoes against the floor, the bustle of students all around and you groan when you see just how many other people are leaving the building. Your pace slows against your wishes as you attempt to weave the crowd. He didn’t show up. You bite your lip, hard. He didn’t show up. You glance down at your phone and swipe. No new notifications. He didn’t show up. All that talk had been nothing. He never took you seriously at all. Something akin to betrayal fills your chest and you wonder if you’re really going to start crying over a boy who has a digimon keychain on his bag. Said it gave him personality, said it was something like a photo of loved ones glanced at during a war. It's stupid, you’re stupid, you think, because how could you seriously think something new was budding there, that something was actually happening? A hand catches your wrist in the crowd and tugs you hard to the side. You gasp as your shoulder brushes someone on the way past, the ground shifting under you before you’re pulled into the narrow strip of wall between two noticeboards and a vending machine.
“Wait!” You wrench your arm back on instinct, breath already halfway to a sharp insult, only for it to die the second you look up. Gojo stands in front of you, chest rising and falling too fast like he ran all the way here. His hair is a mess, his glasses slightly crooked, and there’s a stiffness to his movements. not that you care, not after this. “Am I—” “You’re late,” you blurt, all venom and wounded pride. “Actually, you’re absent because late implies you cared to show at all.” His expression crumbles. “I know.” “Do you?” “Yes,” he swallows, voice rough. “I know.” “Then what are we doing here?” People move around you on both sides, students flowing past in little groups, too absorbed in their own conversations to notice how your whole world has narrowed down to this one stupidly tall boy standing in front of you like he hasn’t just ripped out your heart and stomped all over it. “Something came up,” he says. “I couldn’t help it.” You laugh, ugly and tired. “That’s crazy because something came up for me too. Does the presentation ring any bells?” His jaw tightens. “I’m serious, something did come up otherwise I would have been here. Look, I know how this looks but my phone broke.” The excuse lands heavy in the silence that follows. You stare at him incredulously. Was he really giving you that excuse right now? You start to turn around from his bullshit, not trusting yourself to speak, but he reaches out and holds you there by the wrist. “I know how it sounds, trust me, I wouldn’t believe you either If I were you—” “You’re right, I don’t believe you.” “That's not fair,” he says, desperate. You take a step back, but the wall is there and the crowd is there and he is still there, looking at you with that same helpless expression from yesterday like he can plead his way back into your good graces. “You dropped your phone? What else did you drop, your common sense? Your sense of responsibility?” “Come on, that’s not fair. You’re not even letting me apologise.” “You don’t have a choice,” you snap back. You take a deep breath to reset your thoughts, exhaling out any emotion leaving your voice empty. “Look, I get it. We didn't start off on the same side and maybe you never really stopped feeling that way, even when I thought we were friends. “Y/N—”
“Maybe it was my mistake for ever thinking that. So I’m sorry I’m so gullible.” Once you start, you find the words rushing out without much thought. Briefly, a small voice wonders if you’re really going to crash out like this in the middle of the busy science building, but oh well. There’s a twisted kind of satisfaction when you watch his face crumble. “I almost believed you really cared about whatever the fuck was happening between us, friendship or—whatever the hell it was. If this was revenge for everything that’s happened before, then you’re a real piece of shit, Satoru.” “I said I was sorry.” “And I’m supposed to do what with that exactly?” “Believe me.” You scoff. “Why should I?” His eyes widen a fraction and you press on. “Seriously, why? You say things and you disappear and every time something important is about to happen, you leave. You act like I matter and then the second I start to believe it, you’re gone again. So why should I believe you now?” “Because I’m here now,” he says, sharper than before. You laugh. “Now. You’re here now.” “I came as fast as I could.” “And I was supposed to know that how?” His nostrils flare. “What do you want me to say?” “Well, what am I supposed to think?” you demand. “Because right now it kind of looks like you freaked out after yesterday and decided avoiding me was easier. So it's fine. I see now that you don’t care about anything that was happening between us so, whatever. I don’t care either.” “That's not true.” Gojo forces out through clenched teeth. his face tightens and for a second, he looks angry too, and the sight of it sends a mean little thrill through your chest because good. Good. Let him feel bad. “I do care.” “But not enough to show up to the day of the presentation?” You make noise of disbelief. “Not showing up doesn’t even have anything to do with us, it’s just common sense if you care about your grades like I know you do!” “Exactly, so do you really think I wanted to miss out? Obviously I didn’t want to miss out on 20% too!” You can’t help it, you feel petty and latch onto his words. “Oh, so that’s your biggest concern after all, huh?” “Don't twist my words, you brought it up first.” He runs his free hand through his hair. “What are we even… look, I didn’t want to make you present by yourself. Something just genuinely came up.”
You find a small part of yourself believing him. “What came up? a family emergency?” He doesn't say anything. You laugh. Nothing about this is funny. You feel like you’re losing your mind. “Okay. Sure. Something came up. You definitely didn’t do this to piss me off.” He groans. “Not everything is about you.” The silence after is immediate and total. His eyes widen almost at once, horror flashing across his face like he can hear himself only after the words are already out in the world. He takes half a step forward. “Wait—” “Okay, great.” “I didn’t mean to say that.” “No?” Your laugh comes out thin and shaky. “Because it sounded pretty clear to me.” “Y/N.” “I’m not making this about me, Satoru. You made it about me the second you promised something and then disappeared.” Your voice catches, but you force it steady again. “All I did was believe you.” He steps forward again, hand circling your wrist. You move to pull away but when you look up, you freeze. He looks awful up close. Paler than usual, lips chapped, a faint shadow purpling the skin just above the collar of his shirt where fabric has shifted just enough to expose it. His hand on your wrist is warm, too warm, and his fingers are shaking. A smarter, calmer version of you would ask why. This version however, only notices that he still won’t answer. “What?” you ask, because your voice has to be empty or you will break. “What exactly do you want from me?” He stares at you like the answer should be obvious. “Time,” he says at last. “Just give me more time.” For one beat, two, you can’t even process his words. Then something hot and sharp tears through your chest. “You cannot be serious. more time?” you repeat disbelief making the words go thin. “You say you care, you say you were trying, and then when I ask for one actual answer you tell me to wait. Again. Gonna tell me you’ll tell me later again too?” “Just listen to me for a second.” “No.” You take a shaky breath and it does nothing to steady you. “No, I am so tired, Satoru. I am tired of feeling stupid around you, I always have. I’m tired of guessing and I’m tired of every conversation with you ending like this, with me standing here waiting for you to stop looking at me like there’s something you’re dying to say but you won’t say it.” “That's not what this is.” “Then tell me what it is!” “I can’t!” The outburst turns heads this time and people slow as they pass. He notices a second too late and drags a hand over his face, breathing hard. When he speaks again, his voice drops, but it is no less intense for it. “I can’t,” he repeats. “Not here. Not like this.”
You press your lips together. “Then maybe whatever this is isn’t worth it.” The words shatter the conversation. You don’t mean them and you know you don’t mean them the second they leave your mouth. But you’re too proud, too hurt, to take them back and Gojo has gone still. You watch the moment it lands, watch him stop moving altogether, even to breathe. His mouth parts then closes, and he looks at you like he doesn’t recognise you for half a second, the sight making regret flash hot and immediate through your body. “Satoru—” A ringtone cuts through the air and you both freeze. The sound of the ringtone is so familiar by now, a haunting melody that signals the end of almost every conversation you’ve had with him. Your eyes follow the sound to his pocket. He told you his phone broke. Something in you just gives. You scoff at first, then laughter quickly follows. His face falls and he knows he’s lost you even before you shake his hold off, stepping back and looking away. His hand moves toward his pocket and stops. “Okay, I know this is really bad but please just wait.”“Enough, Satoru. I don’t know why you’re even making this that big of a deal,” you choke out, crossing your arms over your chest like it’ll succeed in placing something stronger than your self-restraint between the two of you. “The project is over whether you cared to show up or not.”
He flinches and you can practically see him split in two, body angled toward you while something else keeps him from moving. His jaw is tight, hand flexing uselessly at his side, eyes on yours like he’s trying to hold the moment together through sheer force.
“Listen to me—”
“I need to get home,” you say.
He steps forward. “I’ll walk you to the station.”
You actually laugh and when you speak, you hate how tired you sound, how flat. “Why would you do that? I said the project is over, Gojo. And so is any reason for us to talk.
Gojo stiffens, arm falling slack to his side.
For a second, you think he might stop you or say something more. Instead, he just stands there, the phone finally gone silent in his pocket, his face stricken and too pale beneath the fluorescent lights.
You make it out of the building with your hands clenched and your mouth pressed into a thin line. The walk to the bus stop feels unreal, like moving through water. By the time you get there, your phone buzzes once and your heart lurches so hard it hurts.
shoko: u okay???
That bastard probably texted her about the situation. Of course he did. Somehow he could make time for that, but not for you. Something bitter and awful curls in your stomach.
You type back: “of course!!!!!!” because lying is contagious apparently, and add enough exclamation marks to make it look convincing before shoving your phone into your bag and sitting down when the bus pulls up to the curb.
The doors fold close and still, stupidly, some part of you looks up expecting him to be there.
Gojo should have known the two of you wouldn’t talk after the argument. There are no late-night calls anymore, no accidental lingering in the same space, no easy back-and-forth that used to slip so naturally between you, no watching you from the corner of his eye when he thinks you aren’t paying attention. The silence that settles in the space left behind is slow and heavy and Gojo feels like he’s drowning. He tells himself it’s for the best. Maybe he flew too close to the sun and now he’s melting and falling and nothing, not his spider instincts nor his web, can catch him. You’re simply too radiant and too civilian for someone of his status quo. But then if that was true, why does it get under his skin every time he sees you with Suguru, laughing together somewhere on campus? Why does something in him still ache whenever he comes across a tweet he knows would make you laugh, only to remember you’ve blocked him? And why can’t he stop thinking about how easy it used to be between you, back when you looked at him like he was someone worth knowing, before everything got so complicated? And if he truly believed having you is as impossible as it seemed, then why was he following you back home? Spiderman shakes his head, wishing he didn’t have this restrictive masks on so he could run a hand through his hair and shake out his thoughts. Because he doesn’t have any ulterior motives as he follows close behind, rooftop to rooftop, as you make your way back from campus, no matter how sinister it sounds. No, he’s simply making sure a kind, helpless civilian gets home safe now that the sun has set and night creeps in. After all, you’re walking alone with your hands buried deep in your pockets and your shoulders curled in against the cold. He catches the slight shiver that runs through you, the quiet sneeze you try to stifle, the irritated little kick you give a loose rock after it nearly sent you stumbling. You look tired, closed off in a way he isn’t used to, and it hurts him to believe it might be his fault. “This is stupid,” he reasons. “I look like a creep.”
Despite the truth of his words, he lingers above you anyway, haunted by the contrast of it all, the way you once smiled at him so easily, the way your face fell when he disappointed you, the softness of your voice when you left him. You look at Spiderman with a warmth and openness you no longer spare Gojo, and he hates how selfishly relieved he is to get even that much. Fine. If you won’t have him as Gojo, he’ll take being Spiderman.
Spiderman drops down in front of you in one smooth motion, feet hitting the pavement with a soft thud. “Hey—”
You move instantly, lunging forward to grab the back of his neck, other hand on his tricep, and hook your leg behind one of his. He blinks, standing upright one moment, before you pull his leg out from under him and he’s flipped onto his back on the ground.
Your face softens as you look down at your perpetrator. “What the—Spiderman?”
You quickly let go and step back before realising you should at least help him up. He takes your hand, standing up and rubbing his shoulder.
Kind and helpless civilian, my ass.
“Are you okay?” you fuss, hands hovering uncertainly. “I mean, that was kind of your fault for scaring me though. But are you okay? Seriously, don’t do that ever again you could get hurt. But are you hurt?”
He winces, rolling his shoulder once more before chuckling. “There goes any worries I might have had about you.”
“What are you doing here? Don’t you have a city to save?”
Spiderman drops his hands to his side. “It’s strange because it sounds like you don’t want me to be here.”
“It took you this long to realise?” you tease with a smile.
“Actually,” he says, quieter now, “I wanted to thank you.”
That catches you off guard enough to still. “For what?”
“For all the help recently.” He lifts one shoulder in a careless half-shrug, but there’s something more deliberate under it, something oddly sincere. “I don’t usually do sidekicks. They steal all my thunder, and everybody knows the side characters end up more popular than the lead anyway. Bad for morale. But you came pretty close.”
“That was…” You blink. “Almost nice. Thanks?”
“Don’t get used to it. I have a reputation to maintain.”
“Is that what this is?” you ask. “A gratitude tour?”
“God, no. I do enough free labour as it is.” He watches you laugh for a moment, eyes softening behind his mask before he says, “So. Are you free right now?”
You narrow your eyes immediately. “Is this another deeply scientific survey on how normal civilians spend their evenings? Because your sample size is getting weirdly specific.”
He huffs a laugh and rocks back on his heels. “Not exactly. Although for the record, your data has been invaluable. Very compelling stuff. Lots of sarcasm. Mild threat level. Surprisingly strong upper body.”
“Flattery is not going to save you here.” You study him for a second. “What do you mean, then?”
He gestures vaguely down the street, then up at the skyline like he hasn’t fully committed to the idea himself. “I mean… you look like you’ve had a rough week, and I’ve had a rough week, and I thought maybe we could do something that doesn’t involve property damage or mutual yelling.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Geez, that narrows it down a little, doesn’t it?”
“I’m being serious.”
The joking edge in his voice softens into something a little more fragile and when you look at him more carefully, at the mask, at the battered suit, at the way he’s trying to sound casual about something he clearly thought through before showing up, you feel something warm blossom in your chest.
“And what,” you ask slowly, “does Spiderman do when he’s not concussed?”
He spreads his hands. “Tonight? He was hoping to take a very pretty girl on a low-budget date.”
You stare at him stunned before laughing softly, looking away before flickering your gaze back. “I bet you only say stuff like that behind the mask.”
“That was smooth, you can be honest.” He grins behind the mask, you can hear it in the shape of his voice. “But that complaint doesn’t exactly sound like a no.”
You look away again, toward the empty stretch of pavement ahead, the city washed in evening light and the first hints of neon waking up around you. You think of the hollow room waiting at the end of this street, your cold sheets and tear-stained pillow, and then of how light you suddenly feel standing here with him. It is not enough to erase everything, but it is enough to loosen something in your chest that has been wound painfully tight for days.
When you look back at him, you’re smiling despite yourself. “I’m free.”
“Great,” he says immediately, a little too fast, then reins himself back in. “Great. Cool. Cool, cool, cool. You said yes. That’s good, that’s great, even.”
You snort. “So where are we going?”
He steps closer, lowering his voice like he’s about to let you in on a secret. “That depends. Are you going to scream if I say I had something less walkable in mind?”
It takes a second for the meaning to land, and when it does you gesture sharply upward. “Please don’t tell me you’re slinging me up there again. That’s happened to me twice now and neither of those experiences were fun.”
“I wouldn’t sling you,” he says, offended. “That sounds so careless and crass. I’d hold you very, very securely. In my arms, even.”
“Can you even hold me? I just flipped you onto your back.”
He laughs, then offers you his hand, gloved palm open between you. “Come on, just one swing. I’ll take it slow this time.”
You eye his hand, then his mask, then back to his hand. “You didn’t take it slow last time.”
“In my defence, we were under attack by sentient goo both times. Be gentle with me.”
You hesitate before gently placing your hand in his. “Fine. But if I die, I’ll come back as a supervillain and haunt you specifically.”
His fingers curl around yours, warm even through the suit.
“No promises.”
Before you can second-guess yourself, he steps in, one arm sliding around your waist with practiced ease. The closeness knocks the breath from your lungs more effectively than the sudden lift when his feet leave the ground. You make a sharp noise and grab at his shoulders.
“There it is,” he says, voice bright with delight and close to your ear. “That’s the exact reaction I was hoping for. My masculinity is doing just great, by the way.”
“Do not make this about you,” you snap, though the words come out thinner than intended.
“Bit hard not to,” he says lightly. “You are, technically, in my arms.”
His web catches somewhere high above with a sharp thwip and you only have a moment to gasp out the beginnings of a final protest before the pavement drops away beneath you.
The city opens under you in one dizzying rush, all glowing traffic and dark rooftops and windows lit gold against the deepening blue of the evening. Your stomach lurches so violently you’re certain it gets left behind somewhere around the second floor of the nearest building, and your grip on his shoulders tightens with enough force to probably leave bruises through his suit.
“Oh my God,” you choke out, voice snatched by the wind. “Oh my God, I’m flying. Oh my God, this is how I die.”
He laughs, shameless and much too pleased with himself for someone who is holding your life in his hands. “That’s a little grim. If you’d only open your eyes, you’d see how beautiful it is.”
“Open my eyes?” you repeat, incredulously. “Spiderman, my eyes will dry out and roll out of my head!”
His hold shifts just slightly, firmer at your waist as he catches another web and swings you both into a smoother arc. “Trust me,” he says, quieter this time, the teasing still there but softened around the edges. “Just for a second. Look.”
You crack your eyes open in narrow slits, and for one disorienting beat all you can really see is him—mask blurred at the edges, the line of his jaw beneath it, the hood rippling back with the force of the wind. Then your gaze drifts past him, out and down and everywhere at once.
Below, the harbour stretches out, black-blue and endless, broken only by the ribbons of reflected light from the bridge and the waterfront. Boasts sit like small, blinking stars, bobbing in the gentle waves, and the skyline curves around the edge of the bay, glittering and frankly unreal.
“There,” he says, gentler now. “That’s better. I told you I’d take it easy this time.”
“You said a lot of things,” you mutter, though some of the panic has begun to leak out of your voice replaced by quiet awe. “Most of them were stupid.”
“Yeah, but were they charming stupid or just regular stupid?”
That manages to pull a short, unwilling laugh out of you, the gesture tipping your head back to look at the sky. The first stars are visible now, faint but there, and above them the clouds are smeared thin and silver. Then you look down at the water again, at how impossibly far below it is, and somehow that distance no longer terrifies you quite as much.
The water below catches the lights in broken gold, and he swings you through another perfect arc, close enough now that you can hear the faint slap of waves against the pylons. The city around you glitters as the sky deepens. His arm around your waist stays firm and sure, and with every swing your fear ebbs a little more, making room for something warm and foreign.
He must feel the change in you because after a moment, he turns his head just enough for his voice to reach you clearly.
“Okay,” he says. “Now that you trust me a little more, let me take you somewhere.”
You lift your head to look at him. “Somewhere? I thought this was the date.”
“This is the foreplay.”
You grimace, wishing you weren’t being held hostage miles above deep water to pull back. “And just like that, I’m dry.”
He laughs, the sound warm and easy. “But your complaining has finally stopped so I’d take that as a win. And for the record, I meant there’s more I still want to show you. I’m not blowing my entire budget on just one dramatic entrance.”
The next arc carries you around the edge of a low building, and then the shape of it begins to emerge properly. The amusement park stretches out in front of you, lights flickering on as dusk settles fully. The ferris wheel looms overhead, its metal frame catching the last of the sunset, and with most of the rides closed, the whole place feels strangely eerie in its emptiness. But then the water catches the light in soft ripples, the sky deepens into indigo, the first stars begin to blink into view, and it becomes something quietly beautiful.
Spiderman watches you from the side, the light from the nearest streetlights in your eyes. His body is uncharacteristically still, mask tilted toward you.
“Woah,” you breathe out at last.
His shoulders relax just a fraction.
“Yeah,” he says softly. “Thought you might like it. And look, I reserved the entire place out for you. It’s all yours for the entire night.”
“That’s because it’s closed.”
He grins and holds out his hand. “Come on. I know a way for you to get a view of the city high up and without your eyeballs drying out on you. I’m trying to be accommodating now that I know you’re apparently very fragile about flying.”
“As any normal person would, I fear.”
You eye his outstretched hand and then at the pier around you. The place feels suspended in time, the shuttered stalls, the way the lights glow without the usual crowds to dull them.
“You’re very confident for someone who almost got flipped onto concrete five minutes ago,” you say, but take his hand anyway.
“What can I say?” he shrugs, fingers warm as he interlaces them. “I trust you not to do it again. We’re close like that, right? But seriously, can we stop bringing that up? It’s a sensitive topic for me.”
He leads you past a locked gate, showing off his lockpicking skills which prompts a raised brow and not the fawning he had initially expected, then to another gate to which you just had to look away from while he broke in. You walk beside him until he’s standing beneath the ferris wheel, metal bones creaking softly.
Spiderman glances up then looks back down at you, holding out his hand in a flourish.
“My lady,” he says, dipping his head. “Would you care to have a go?”
“Real original,” you say but don’t protest when he guides you into one of the empty carriages.
It sways slightly as you settle in, the door closing with a soft sound. Then the wheel jerks once, twice, then starts moving ever so slowly. Your breath catches as the ground drifts away, the pier shrinking beneath, lights blurring into a soft constellation of their own. There’s no rush like when you were swinging, just a gentle, steady climb lifting you above the city skyline.
You lean forward, hands gripping the edge of the carriage as the city opens up before you. It stretches out endlessly, lights scattered like spilled glitter, the dark water reflecting everything through a dreamy haze.
“Is this what you see everyday?” you ask.
Spiderman hums, relaxing into the seat opposite you “Maybe something close adjacent.”
“Well it’s gorgeous. I can’t believe I forgot how freeing it feels to go to amusement parks. There’s just something about being so high up, you know? But I guess I don’t need to be telling you that.”
“Enamoured already? We haven’t even reached the top yet.” He stares at you for a moment. “Okay, pop quiz. Which do you like better, the ferris wheel or the swinging?”
“Definitely the ferris wheel.”
“That hurts.”
You glance back at him over your shoulder to shoot him a cheeky grin. “Why are you sitting on the other side? Is the view better over there?”
He tilts his head and looks at you for a beat too long. “Yeah,” he says at last. “It’s pretty.”
He doesn’t pull his gaze away from you and it takes a second for the words to land properly, and another second for the warmth in your face to catch up with them. You laugh softly, more because you need somewhere to put the sudden nervousness than because it’s especially funny.
“You’re really pulling out all the stops today, aren’t you?” Your gaze flicker from the view back to him. “Is this something you do with all the civilians you save? I’d hate to embarrass myself by thinking I’m special.”
“Would you compliment me back if I said it was just you?”
“Maybe. Are you telling the truth?”
“Yes.” He turns his body slightly so he can rest his elbow on the back of the seat, unabashedly staring right at you. “It’s just you.”
The carriage creaks softly. The wheel keeps turning and somewhere below, music too faint to make out drifts from some unseen speaker, somewhat staticky and distant.
With nothing else to do, you laugh again, buying you some much needed time to figure out what to say next. “If you needed a boost to your ego, you could have just said so. You didn’t have to bring me to a half-abandoned amusement park and make me stare at the harbour to get it.”
“And the compliment?”
“I guess you’re not as annoying as I initially assumed you were.”
“My ego definitely does not need the help,” he says easily. “And what kind of compliment is that? Give me something a little more impersonal.”
“You’re humble,” you observe with a good mannered snort.
“It comes with the whole superhero thing.” He continues to watch you until he realises that this prolonged eye contact should come with some form of conversation.
Spiderman sits up a little, crossing one leg over the other. HIs ankle dangles and bumps into yours, a mere accident that makes you freeze so your body doesn’t move away.
“How have you been doing?” he asks, and the question comes out with an almost awkward plainness to it, stripped of the usual easy swagger. A second later he seems to hear himself and tries to recover, lifting one shoulder. “You seem a little quieter than usual. Not that I’ve been paying attention or anything. I just have, you know, a lot of care for the citizens of this city.”
The ferris wheel creaks as it carries you both a little higher, the lights of the pier shifting below in soft, sleepy colours. He watches you for a beat too long, and you know the joke gave him cover, but not much. The question is still sitting there between you, small and strangely careful.
You glance at him. “That was subtle. Really invisible work there.”
“Thank you,” he says. “I pride myself on my restraint. I could’ve been much creepier about it.”
“I’m sure that was difficult for you.”
“It was,” he says with a sigh. “You have no idea how hard I’m working right now to seem normal.”
You look back out over the water, the lights trembling across the surface. “I’ve been fine. That’s the official answer.”
“I think I’ve earned myself the unofficial answer,” he says quietly.
You fold your arms loosely over your middle. “It’s ridiculously stupid. Like, who hangs out with a superhero and starts ranting about their situationship?”
He makes a little choked sound which makes you look over in concern. He quickly covers his mouth and waves you on. “Situationship? I didn’t know it would have counted as a situationship.”
You frown because what exactly does he know about what ‘it’ is? “It’s 2026, everyone’s idea of love is warped. If it doesn’t have a label then people will just slap the word ‘situationship’ over it and pray for the best.”
“Right, right. Please continue.”
“Well, there was someone. Obviously.” You stop and let out a sigh, slumping. “Or maybe there wasn’t and I just made him into someone in my head. I can’t really tell anymore, it’s all just so messy. I thought maybe there was something there, I thought that was what everything was building up towards and then… we had this argument and it was honestly embarrassing looking back at it and now we don’t talk. So.”
“Did you want there to be something?”
Ignoring the fact that you’re having a love life talk with Spiderman, of all people, you answer honestly. “Of course. I wouldn’t be this annoyed if I didn’t.”
Spiderman lets his head knock against the window as he groans. “Okay. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. Of course you wanted something, of course.”
You glance sideways at him. “Why do you sound like that?”
“Second-hand sorrow.”
“I think they call that empathy.”
“I just think,” he says, his voice a little rougher now, “it would’ve been easier if you’d said no. I’m only saying that because I’m looking out for you, obviously. As a public servant.”
You snort despite yourself but the heaviness settles back in quickly enough. “It would have been easier if he just kept being an asshole like when it all started. If he’d just kept being a dick, then fine, whatever, I could have lived with that if I never found out the kind of guy he is. But he wasn't, he ended up being kind. And funny. And actually decent and that really pisses me off. He made me hopeful and I think that might be the worst part.”
Spiderman goes very still across from you, shoulders pulling tighter and chin dipping just slightly so he’s staring a hole through the floor of the carriage. When he finally speaks, his voice has gone quieter. “Yeah,” he says. “That does sound pretty bad. Especially if he knew what he was doing.” You frown. “I don’t even know if he did. I can’t tell if he was just oblivious, or if he really did mean something by it but then freaked himself over nothing.” “That’s not better,” Spiderman retorts. “That makes him sound very pathetic.” You look at him properly now, the dim lights from below catching on the higher points of his face. “You’re taking this really personally for someone who doesn’t know him.” He lets out a short laugh. “Maybe I just have strong opinions about men disappointing women. Somebody has to, the bar is in hell.” You exhale a laugh through your nose. “Exactly.” The carriage gives a small creak as it keeps moving and for a few creaky moments, neither of you say anything. The quiet isn’t awkward, and he hasn’t said enough to put you in your thoughts, but it’s quiet anyway. Then Spiderman clears his throat and leans forward, elbow braced on his knees. “Okay, I’m going to say one more thing about it and then I’m going to stop being so emotionally available. It feels a little off brand to what we have going on.” You snort. “Sure, go for it.” “I think,” he starts carefully, “that if someone made you feel seen and hopeful for more and then disappeared, you’re allowed to think he’s a jerk. You don’t have to make excuses just because he also had some good qualities. Because being kind in some moments doesn’t cancel out making you feel abandoned in others. But maybe…” He takes a breath. “Don’t give up on him. Please.” For some reason, the sincerity in his voice makes you pause. Damn, so even superheroes experience situationships? Because he sounded really invested just then in a way that can only be explained as first-hand experience. You wonder what kind of person could break Spiderman’s heart like that. “Thanks for the love advice, Spiderman.” He nods solemnly. “No problem.” And because the entire situation is simply too ridiculous to keep a straight face, you laugh. He smiles too, watching you for a moment before letting out his own laugh. “There you are,” he says. “I was wondering what other crimes I’d have to commit tonight to fix the mood.” “We’re going to have to circle back and talk about the lockpicking eventually.” “As long as it isn’t today.” The carriage gives a gentler, longer groan as it continues descending. You let your head tip back against the seat and, almost absentmindedly, your eyes drift out toward the skyline again. You frown. “Oh.” He looks out too. “That sounded like a bad oh. What kind of oh was that?”
You look past him, past the window, toward the stretch of harbour and the city beyond. “I think we missed the top.” He blinks. “What?” “The peak,” you say, sitting forward. “The very top of the ferris wheel? We were talking and I didn’t even notice we’d already gone over it.” “Oh wow, that guy is the worst. He stole your ferris wheel climax too.” “Is it also part of your superhero job description to ruin every moment with some sexual innuendo?” He lifts both hands. “Okay, fair, I’m having a bad wording night. But this is hard on me okay? I arrange a beautiful nighttime ferris wheel, I listen supportively while you talk about another man, and still somehow I’m the bad guy.” “Right? How do you do it?” The carriage is nearly at the bottom now. Below, the pier glows in soft strings of light and you feel a strange sense of finality when it shudders to a stop. Before you can maneuver around a ‘thanks for tonight, see you first thing in the morning!’, Spiderman leans forward. “Don’t look so ready to go just yet, there’s still the aftercare part.” You sigh but don’t berate him. “There’s still more? Someone save me.” The carriage door clicks open with a soft metallic sound. He stands first and offers you his hand again, less theatrical this time, and more sincere. “Come on,” he says, voice soft in the wind. “Don’t go home yet. Stay with me a little longer, that’s all I’m asking. Let me be the part of tonight you remember better.” You look at the hand he’s still holding half between you. Then, before you can overthink it, you slip your hand into his. “But only because I’m curious what exactly counts as better.” He turns his hand, catching yours properly, and something in your stomach flips at the gesture. “Good,” he says, low and warm. “Because I’ve been trying very hard all night not to ask too obviously.”
You lied before. Swinging is leaps and bounds better than sitting stationary in a small carriage inching along at a snail’s pace. It’s exhilarating and freeing, and yes, your eyes still hurt when you open them too wide, but you’ve figured out the perfect amount of squinting to keep them from tearing up. Instead, you whoop and cheer as he swings you in high arcs and dramatic drops, skimming close enough to the ground that you might believe the end of your life is waiting there, if not for your growing trust that Spiderman will always pull you back up. Half your screams are still terror, though. Spiderman isn’t silent either. He laughs right into your ear when you cling to him tighter, praises you when you throw your head back and cheer, and points out his favourite places to sit and watch the sunrise. He complains that the city’s architecture doesn’t cater nearly enough to his swinging needs, as though that should have been a priority in urban planning. He carries you over a football stadium and you marvel at its size, the bright field below looking almost unreal from up here. “Think you can handle a little more?” he murmurs against your ear. High on adrenaline, you nod against his neck. Then he drops you. His arms slide out from under your knees and he quickly unwinds your hands from around his neck. One moment you are safe in his hold, and the next you are falling, a heavy body surrendered to gravity as the ground rushes up to meet you. Your scream could wake the whole city if it were not already awake. You look up. The sky above is vast, endless, strewn with stars so beautiful they almost make you forget the terror roaring through you. The wind screams in your ears, your clothes snapping against your body, and somewhere inside the panic there is a strange, suspended calm that feels almost like freedom. Just before the ground can meet your back, Spiderman swoops in from the side and catches you cleanly in his arms. The force of it steals another cry from you, but then he is already pulling you upward again, the momentum sweeping you into another great arc before gravity draws you back, over and over until the motion finally begins to slow. For one suspended moment, the two of you dangle in the air, saved from certain death by nothing but the web shot from his wrists. Metres above the ground, your life held so easily in someone else’s hands, you find that you feel no fear at all. In fact, you are laughing. It starts as a breathless, disbelieving sound, then spills into something uncontrollable, and he chuckles at first before his own laughter joins yours. You laugh until your lungs ache, until your face hurts, until all you can feel is the warmth of his breath against your cheek and the solid certainty of his arms around your back. He makes no move to set you down or sling you back to safety. Instead, he only keeps you there, held against his chest, his masked face angled down toward yours. You want to believe he is looking at you the way you are looking at him, full of wonder and something even softer than that, but it is hard to be certain when his face is hidden. Your laughter dwindles into one last helpless giggle as you peer up at him. “Nice catch.”
Your gaze drops from the white of his eyes to the shape of the mask stretched over the bridge of his nose, the faint outline of his mouth beneath the fabric. There has not been a single moment in your strange, ridiculous friendship with Spiderman when you have been so curious about who he is under that mask. “Thanks,” he says, his voice warm and low. “I kind of do this for a living.” You laugh softly, and he shivers when your breath mists against the fabric over his lips. “Do you remember when you first saved me?” you ask. “Yes, I slammed into a bus stop and ruined it forever. I also remember telling you to never mention that again,” he says immediately. You nod, fighting the urge to roll your eyes. “We were so different back then. I almost thought you were shy the amount of times you ran away.” He is quiet for just long enough to make your chest tighten. Then, softly, “Pretty girls fluster me.” You snort, but there’s no hiding the warmth that spreads across your face, and for once you make no move to cover it. Let him see it. Let him know the effect he has on you, just how fiercely this thing burns within you, this aching desire to hold him close, to whisper his name and feel him shiver beneath your touch. Slowly, as if afraid to snap the fragile thread of tension between you, you pull your hand away from your chest and trail it up the side of his neck, your touch feather-light. You hear his breath catch. Feel it, too. Your fingers drift higher until your palm cups his cheek through the mask. “I want to know who you are,” you say softly. He flinches. “You can’t.” “Why not?” you ask, voice gentle. “You don’t trust me?” “That’s not it.” “Really?” Your thumb brushes the edge of his jaw. “Because I would’ve accepted that as an answer.” He goes oddly still. “What?” Spiderman’s stunned silence makes you smile, and a quiet laugh slips out of you at how easy he is to read despite the mask. “What’s wrong? I’ve read the comics. I’ve seen the movies. I know what happens when the superhero reveals his identity.” You tip your head, eyes never leaving him. “Something bad always follows. It’s like punishment for their hubris. The main companion dies, or the hero has to choose between their lover and the world. It always ends in tragedy.” He recovers quickly enough, his arms tightening around your waist as if instinctively holding you closer. “You think I couldn’t save both you and the world?” You ignore the implications of his words, biting back a smile. “And that would be the hubris part.” He scoffs, though the sound comes out a touch too strained to be convincing. “That’s not why I can’t tell you my identity, princess.” “Then tell me why.” Your voice drops lower, soft as breath. “Because right now it feels like you’re making up rules as you go.” He hesitates. It is brief, but not brief enough. “You wouldn’t…” He swallows. “You wouldn’t feel the same. It would change things. It would change whatever this is.” You go quiet at that, mulling the words over. Then your hands drift from his neck to rest lightly against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall beneath the suit. Looking up at him, you hum. “Do I know you?” Spiderman flinches again. “No.” You laugh softly at how bad he is at lying. “Alright. Are we friends?” He doesn’t react quite as strongly to that, which tells you enough to keep going. “Do we not get along?” “Hold on—” You immediately compose a mental list of all those who had once wronged you in some way. Some were easy to recall, their offences more recent like the cyclist that had rode past you one morning and knocked your coffee out of your hands leaving you confused and uncaffeinated for class, or your neighbour who is always throwing parties. Maybe it’s someone closer to you than that, like Naoya, or Toji, or Mei Mei, or that old lady that always comes in at 8am on a Thursday and routinely complains about her coffee not being hot enough. You frown at that last thought and Spiderman catches it, opening his mouth to stop you. “Are you a student, or—”
He hisses loud enough to cut you off. “Don’t guess. Don’t you dare. If you have to know, it’ll be because I told you, not because you stumbled into it by accident.” He pauses, then adds, more mutinously, “And I definitely don’t need to hear who you think I am. I’m sure you can imagine how terrible that might be for my ego.” You tilt your head, amused. “I get that, but I was only going to ask if—” “No.” “But I—” “I said no.” “Spiderman.” Your tone sharpens just enough to shut him up. “I was going to ask if you’re that old lady who always demands her coffee be molten before I hand it over. You know, the one who acts like I personally invented workplace safety regulations.” Spiderman doesn’t say anything for a long while. “What?” You laugh under your breath. “I definitely told you about her before. Or—” you pause, smiling to yourself, “told you about you, maybe. The one who always comes through drive-thru.” “Princess,” he says dryly, “I am not sixty years old.” “Perfect,” you reply. “Then I’m sure I wouldn’t otherwise care who you are.” And then he’s laughing. It bursts out of him bright and helpless, so sudden and genuine that it makes something in your chest go warm and dizzy. His head tips back, the white lenses of the mask curving with the shape of his smile, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to keep your own grin from widening too much. If he laughed in your face every day for the rest of your life, you think you might let him, if only to know that this—him, here, now—is real. He’s talking again, you realise belatedly, his mask shifting with the movement of his mouth, but the words barely register. You’re too busy watching the fabric stretch and crease, too aware of how close he is, how little separates you now. Your fingers trail back up the side of his neck, and that silences him instantly. Despite all his earlier objections, he stills completely when your hand settles there. Your thumb grazes the seam where mask meets suit, and you stop, glancing up at him. “Can I?” “You can’t,” he whispers, just as softly, though he doesn’t move away. If anything, his hand only tightens on your waist. “I won’t look, I promise.” Your thumb traces small circles against his neck, your gaze locked on his. “I just want to touch you.” He shivers. You feel it run through him, sharp and involuntary. He says your name in a low rumble, the sound almost enough to undo you on its own. “This is a bad idea.” “If you tell me to stop, I will.” Looking down, you slip the tip of your finger beneath the narrow break between his bodysuit and the edge of his mask. “My arm is going to cramp,” he mutters weakly, and the attempt at humour only makes your smile deepen. You begin to peel the mask back. Just a little at first, just enough to reveal the bare line of his neck and feel the tense muscle there. Your fingertips glide over the exposed skin, and his breath catches again, but he still doesn’t stop you. You wonder how far he’ll let you go. You lift the mask higher, over the line of his jaw, and your eyes snag there before they can help it. Then over his mouth, where you pause for the briefest second, struck silent by the sight of him, before leaving the fabric gathered just beneath his nose. He tries for a smirk and you watch it form. “Was that all you wanted to see?” You lean in slowly, stopping just short of him to gauge his reaction. When he doesn’t move away, you close the distance until your nose brushes his. “For now,” you whisper. His eyes search yours through the mask, and whatever he finds there makes his mouth flatten into something almost pained.
“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want,” you murmur, and though you mean it, there is a terrible hollow ache opening in your chest now. Gojo’s face flashes uninvited through your mind and you shove it back, determined to bury it, though it’s clear enough from the way Spiderman goes tense that you haven’t done nearly as good a job as you’d hoped. You don’t want to use him like this. Over the past few months, Spiderman has become something steady in your life, a source of comfort in ways you never expected. Maybe it is because he has no face, no fixed place in your world, no history to complicate things. Maybe that’s why you have been able to tell him things you can’t even bring yourself to say to your friends. And now you are asking him for something you cannot take back. Still, your fingers curl into the fabric of his suit. “Please.” He moves before you can prepare for it, leaning in so suddenly your breath catches, your startled yelp cut off by the harsh press of his lips against yours. For one disorienting second, all thought disappears. Then he kisses you again, harder this time, and your hand flies up to hold him there, fingers tangling against his neck as though you can keep the moment from slipping away. His mouth is warm and real and a little clumsy with restraint, like he wants more and is trying very hard not to take it. The hand at your waist tightens, enough to make your pulse jump. And then he groans into the kiss, fierce and guttural before pulling away. The break leaves you both panting. You don’t speak at first but neither does he. You just stare at one another, lips swollen, breath unsteady, the last minute catching up all at once in a rush so overwhelming it feels almost unreal.You are already leaning in again before you fully register it, drawn by instinct more than thought, wanting to close the distance and do it all over— When suddenly gravity shifts. You let out a startled scream as the ground drops from under you and you pitch forward into him. His arms close around you automatically, holding you flush against his chest as the city begins to move beneath you. “What are you—” “I’m taking you back,” he says, voice rough. “What?” You twist, trying to look up at him, but he keeps you tucked in tight against him. “Wait a minute!” “I’m dropping you back at your dorm.” “Hold on a second!” “I can’t.” The words come out strained, almost frayed at the edges, and because his voice sounds like that—because the kiss is still there between you, lingering like heat—you let your protests falter.
The flight back is too quick. When he finally sets you down outside your dorm, your legs feel unsteady for more reasons than one. The second your feet hit the ground, your hands shoot to his arms, keeping hold so he can’t just disappear again. “You didn’t want it?” He doesn’t answer immediately, but with the mask still pushed halfway up, you see the way his jaw clenches. The truth hits you all at once, sharp and humiliating and you find your lips, once pressed against him, now forming the sound of an apology. “I’m sorry it was bad.” He makes a vague movement, like he wants to run a hand through his hair and has only just remembered the mask. “That’s not it.” “Then what is it?” The desperation in your voice makes you cringe the moment you hear it, but it’s too late to take back. He looks at you for a long, silent moment, and when he finally speaks, his voice is unbearably soft. “You said it yourself, didn’t you? Revealing my identity would only hurt you.” Your grip on his arms tightens. “I’m fine with that. I don’t need to know who you are. It doesn’t matter.” The words rush out now, tripping over each other. “The one I—” You falter, heart hammering. “The one I care about is you.” Spiderman watches you wordlessly as you trip over your own tongue. Then, after a beat that feels much longer than it is, he says, “I never said it was your mistake.” You inhale sharply and, before you can think better of it, lean in and steal a kiss from his lips. There isn’t enough time to consider what the hell you’re doing because he answers immediately. Whatever hesitation he’d been clinging to burns away the second your mouth meets his, seared off by heat and want and the unmistakable fact that this is really happening. This kiss is nothing like the last. It is harder, hungrier, and when his hand catches your wrist to pull you closer, it still doesn’t feel like enough. A low groan tears from him into your mouth, impatient and wrecked, and then he’s biting lightly at your bottom lip as though restraint is already slipping through his fingers. You gasp, and he takes the invitation immediately. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, coaxing every breathless sound from you until your whimpers are swallowed down by him. Still, it isn’t enough. How could it be? Not when he finally has you in his arms like this after wanting you for so long, after all the distance and hurt and wrong timing. His body urges you back a step, then another, until your shoulders brush the wall and he follows, crowding you there.
His hands slide up your waist and back down again, settling hard at your hips, while the other cups your jaw to hold you steady for the fierce, dizzying press of his mouth. You cling to him like he is the only solid thing in the world, and maybe right now he is. Your knees have gone weak enough that you don’t trust them to hold you without him. A crash sounds somewhere in the alley below. You jolt, teeth catching accidentally against his lip. He groans at the sting but pulls back, shooting the darkness beyond the window a withering glare like he could kill whatever interrupted him. You follow his line of sight, but nothing else happens. The alley settles back into stillness. After a second, he exhales and leans down until his forehead rests against yours. “You should probably check that out,” you murmur, more to break the thick, dizzy silence than out of any real conviction. He hums, the sound warm against your skin. “Then why aren’t you letting me go?” Only then do you realise your fingers have curled tight into the front of his suit. They only tighten further, pathetic and needy in a way you’d usually hate, but his answering chuckle is filthy and starved enough to make warmth bloom through you. “Stay,” you whisper. “Okay,” he says softly. “I won’t go.” You shake your head and lift it just enough to meet the white gaze of his mask, your own eyes dropping to his mouth for the briefest second. “No. Stay.” He doesn’t need to be told twice. His hand slips from your cheek and a second later a web shoots from his wrist and catches on the frame of your third-floor window. His other arm locks around you and suddenly he’s lifting you with him. Getting through the window is clumsy and breathless and far less graceful than the way he moves through the city. One of your shoes catches on the ledge, his shoulder bumps the frame, and you have to slap a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing too loudly. It feels absurdly scandalous, sneaking through your own window like this, and the absurdity only makes it worse. He climbs in first, then turns immediately and offers you his hand. You take it with less hesitation than before, and he guides you through carefully, steadying you the moment your feet touch the floor, and for a second he doesn’t let go. He just keeps hold of you, standing close in the dimness of your room, eyes fixed on your face. “Are you sure?” he asks. You don’t hesitate. “I wouldn’t have kissed you if I wasn’t.” Something in him softens at that, though his voice stays low. “I still can’t let you see me.” You shake your head and close your eyes before your nerve can fail you. Your hands rise to the seam of his mask. “Trust me.” And because he does, he lets you pull it away. Truthfully, there’s a moment where temptation almost gets the better of you. He's right there, close enough to touch, close enough that you can feel the warmth of his skin and the shape of his mouth. You’re touching him, your tongue has been inside his mouth and now you know his taste intimately. All it would take is a moment of weakness and the opening of your eyes to finally know who has been under the mask this entire time. Just one peek, one action to end the curiosity. Still, you hold yourself back. Don’t ruin the moment.
A soft chuckle brushes your lips, his bare breath warm against them now that the mask is out of the way. You steady your hands against his chest and feel the frantic pound of his heart beneath your palms. He shivers at the contact. He tries to be patient, he really does. Tries to make this moment careful, almost reverent, like you deserve. But Gojo is greedy. He’s greedy for your attention, for the spark in your eyes to flare up the moment his eyes lock on yours, he’s greedy for your touch, the brushing of fingers when you pass him his coffee in the morning, for that smile that you only ever seem to give him when he’s Spiderman. He is greedy for this version of you, soft and wanting and close enough to ruin him. His brow twitches, something cruel twisting in his stomach and he traces the seam of your lips with his tongue, pushing in even before you open your mouth to him. His tongue finds yours again before he can stop himself, the kiss turning deeper, hungrier. He presses you back against the window, one hand bracing against the sill behind you so the edge doesn’t dig into your spine while the other settles hard at your waist. He devours you completely, nothing tentative about him now. He kisses you like he’s starving as all his late night fantasies, your name on his tongue and his hand wrapped around his cock, become finally realised when he tastes you. You lightly tap his arm, and he pulls back to let you breathe but his lips don’t leave you for long. “God, I've wanted you for so long.” he nuzzles your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. His hardness presses against your thigh, leaving you with no doubts about his words. "I can’t stop thinking about you, every time I close my eyes, you’re there. You're haunting me.” He continues to confess between heated kisses along your jawline. The utter longing in his voice, the depraved desperation as he presses impossibly closer, hands wanting to trace up your side but to also push you up into him, the heat of his mouth against your pulse point, it’s all too much and you let out a whimper. He groans softly against your skin, his restraint fraying even further at the noise. “Stop teasing me,” you gasp, tilting your head to give him more room and hating how needy you sound. His answer is rough and low. "I can’t help it.” Deciding you’ve had enough of him making you melt where you stand, you push at him instead. He lets himself be moved, following your blind guidance as you walk him backwards toward where you think your bed is. When the backs of his legs hit the mattress, he sits, and his fingers curl around your wrist to tug you closer between his knees. Your hands find his face again, fumbling slightly as they trace bare skin for the first time. The line of his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, the shape of a face you still refuse to see. He lets you explore him in silence, stilling beneath your touch in a way that feels almost unbearably intimate, pressing a kiss to your palm when your hand drifts closer to his mouth. Your fingers linger on the warmth of his skin, tracing the soft curve of his lips before dipping lower, brushing against the sharp line of his jaw. He's so still under your touch, like he's afraid one wrong move will shatter this fragile moment, and it sends a thrill through you—the power you hold, even blinded. With your eyes closed, it blocks out everything but sensation, heightening every graze of your fingertips, every hitch in his breath. You can feel the rapid thump of his pulse beneath your palm, matching the frantic beat of your own heart.
He tilts his head slightly, nuzzling into your hand like a dog seeking affection, and the vulnerability in that small gesture makes your chest tighten. This masked hero, the one who swings through the city saving lives, is reduced to this—panting softly, body tense with barely contained need. It's intoxicating, knowing you can unravel him like this. “You're killing me,” he murmurs, voice rough and low, laced with that desperate edge that makes your core clench. His hands slide up your thighs, thumbs pressing into the soft flesh just below the hem of your skirt, not pushing further but holding you there, grounding himself. “Please don’t stop here, touch me more.” Your finger grazes his boner through the tight fabric of his suit and he hisses, bowing inward. “Shit!” You pause. “A thought has occurred.” He lets out a long suffering sigh. “Please don’t ruin the mood.” You laugh softly, dragging your nails over his erection over and over, drinking in every flinch you feel from where you’re pressed against him. “I can’t help you if you’re still in this… spandex.” Spiderman huffs again but you feel him pull back and unzip his suit, wherever that zipper might be. “I’m so glad you can’t see me right now. There was no way I could get out of this suit in a hot way.” “Trust me, my imagination isn’t doing you any favours either.” You pause. “Do you have to wear a thong under your suit?” “The mood was really good five seconds ago. Don't ruin it because you’re curious about what I’m wearing underneath.” You giggle and your nerves evaporate. Sure, you’re about to have sex with the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and that might forever change the trajectory of your relationship with him, but at least it’s still him. When he sits back on the bed and guides you forward, you follow him without a second thought and kneel between his legs. “What are you—oh fuck.” He inhales sharply, hands never leaving you for long as they find purchase in your hair. “Fuck, you look so pretty.” His thumb traces your bottom lip, feeling it give way under his touch. He curses again. “I need your mouth on me, pretty girl.” You laugh at his eagerness and reward his honesty with your hands down his chest, breath quickening when he lets out a small sigh as your fingers graze his lower stomach. You allow yourself the time to trail a finger down his bare chest now that he is free from his spandex, marveling at the muscle you find tensing under your touch. Eventually, you find the waistband of his boxers. “So you do wear boxers?” “Y/N, please. The mood.” You tug his boxers down, slightly upset you can’t see the way his cock swings up, finally free from its restraints. The sounds he makes compensates and you find it hard to stay disappointed as he groans, the hand in your hair closing around to tug you impatiently towards his dick.
“Sorry,” he mumbles, eyes heavy-lidded as he watches you. Despite his apology, he doesn’t make an effort to loosen his hold that much. You drag your hands up his thighs to find where they converge. You wrap your fingers around him, feeling out his shape. If he asked in that narcissistic way of his, you’d tell him he’s average size. Truthfully, he’s thicker and longer than you’d dare to admit, the slight curve a feature that has you pressing your thighs together. He bucks involuntarily, a whine escaping his lips that sounds so damn needy it makes you wetter. “Take your time,” he manages to grit out though it’s breathless. “I’m not going anywhere.” You wonder who he’s talking to because you’re sure as hell not going to take your time. Instead, you lean in closer, your breath ghosting his length and smell him—musky and hot after being trapped in that suit for so long. “You’re shaking already,” you whisper. “Haven’t you ever had a girl on her knees for you?” He doesn't answer, just lets out a shaky exhale, his hands fisting the sheets beside him. The silence is answer enough, and it makes you laugh, hard enough to be distracted by the pathetic twitch his cock gives at his own humiliation. “No way? The amazing Spiderman gets no game? My god, I almost feel sorry for you,” you coo mockingly, tongue flicking out to lap at the bead of pre-cum on his tip. He jolts, a strangled gasp ripping from his throat, you smile against his flushed skin. “All that heroic web-slinging but no one’s ever taken care of this?” Before he can respond, you take him into your mouth, lips sealing around the head as you suck gently. He tastes salty and slightly bitter, but the way he gasps all high and desperate makes you hum in approval, the vibration drawing another shiver from him. Your hands brace on his thighs, nails digging in as you bob your head, taking him deeper inch by inch. He’s not huge but he’s certainly responsive, hips twitching like he can’t help it, fucking shallowly into your mouth. “Shit—oh God, your mouth!” His words dissolve into a groan, his hand tightening in your messy strands. You hollow your cheeks, tongue swirling around the underside, tracing the vein that pulses against it. With your eyes closed, every sensation is amplified, the wet sounds of your sucking, the salty drip down your throat, the way his cock twitches on your tongue. You pull back slightly, letting spit string from your lips to his tip, and pump him with your hand, remembering to twist a little at the top. “There’s no way you’re going to cum already, are you?” Once again, you desperately wish to see him, to see him writhing under your touch, flushed with his eyes rolling back. “Don’t stop,” he begs, voice cracking. You oblige, leaning back down to swallow around him, nose brushing the coarse hair at his base. He smells like sweat and arousal, and you gag a little when he thrusts too eagerly, but you don't pull away. Instead, you moan, letting him feel how much you want this, how his desperation turns you on.
His free hand claws at the bed, knuckles white, and you can feel the tension coiling in his body, the way he's fighting not to come too soon. You speed up, slurping obscenely, one hand slipping down to cup his balls, rolling them gently. He cries out—actually cries out—head thrown back, and you feel powerful, desired, even as the mean streak in you wants to edge him until he breaks. But you’re aching too, pussy throbbing with neglect and its slickness soaks your thighs. You pop off him with a wet sound to which he whines in protest, hips jerking forward seeking more. “Not yet,” you say breathlessly and rise to your feet to push him back fully onto your bed. He goes willingly, sprawling out with the audible sounds of his pants. You climb over him, straddling his waist, and grind your soaked panties against his thick length. The friction makes you both moan, his hands flying to your hips to hold you there. “Please,” he pants. “Let me touch you. I need to—” You cut him off with a kiss, letting him taste himself from where your mouth met his cock. It’s messy and you rock against him harder, chasing that pressure on your clit. But it’s not enough. You need more. Pulling back, you guide one of his hands between your legs, pressing his fingers against your clothed pussy. “Feel how wet I am? It’s all for you. Now do something about it.” His fingers tremble as they slip under the fabric and brush against your folds, making you hiss at the contact. He’s clumsy at first, virgin nerves showing in the hesitant circles he rubs over your clit, but the sensation burns with your eyes closed, turning every awkward stroke into fire. You grind down to guide his rhythm and he learns fast, thumb pressing firmer, two fingers finding your entrance. “Like this?” he asks, voice small and eager, and you nod, biting your lip to stifle a moan as he pushes inside. He’s not skilled, all bumping knuckles, but God does the stretch feel good. You clench around him, riding his hand, the wet squelch filling the room. “Faster,” you demand, and he obeys, curling them experimentally, hitting that spot that makes your thighs quake. Sensory deprivation turns it overwhelming, leaving you drowning in the slide of his fingers, the heat of his palm grinding against your clit. You whimper as the pleasure builds and he drinks in every sound, pumping harder, thumb flicking relentlessly. “You’re so tight,” he murmurs in awe, free hand roaming your body, squeezing your breast through your shirt, pinching the nipple until you arch. “So wet for me. Fuck, I could do this all night.” But you can’t wait anymore. You shove his hand away, panting, and fumble with your clothes, stripping off your top and skirt, panties last. He helps, clumsy but enthusiastic, suit peeled down to his hips. Naked now, you feel exposed and vulnerable, but his hands are everywhere—stroking your sides, cupping your ass, pulling you down. He positions himself between your legs, leaning down to kiss you deeply while his hands memorise your curves, gliding them over your soft skin. It’s not enough. You roll your hips against him, trying to press him in, seeking that friction you desperately need. Spiderman lets out a low groan against your ear, his control slipping at your eager movements. He pulls back to watch, to drink in the sight of you writhing under him, at your hands fumbling desperately at his arms to draw him back in. “Give me a second,” he mumbles. “I want to take my time with you.” “Please don’t,” you whine. It’s infuriating, having him so close you can feel his heat against your skin and yet, it only emphasises the emptiness inside you. “Please just touch me.”
“I’ve got you, baby.” Unable to resist your needy sounds any longer, he finally gives in. He readjusts his position, guiding himself to your entrance. He thrusts up slightly, his dick gathering your slick at his tip, the both of you moaning at the friction. “Tell me what you want, Y/N. I need to hear how badly you need me.” He all but pleads, repeating the action over and over, eyes closed shut at every nudge against your clit. You whimper, fingers finding purchase on his biceps. “I’m not going to beg you, jerk.” He ruts up, the tip catching on your entrance and you almost believe it’s in until it slides right past. “Beg me,” he pleads again, mouth planting desperate kisses at your neck. The teasing drags on, his cockhead slipping through your folds, bumping your clit with every shallow thrust, but never filling you. It's torture, the heat of him so close, the slick sounds obscene in the quiet room. You buck up, trying to impale yourself, but he holds your hips down, chuckling breathlessly against your throat. “Come on,” he whispers, nipping at your earlobe. “Just say it. Tell me you want my cock inside you.” Your pride wars with the ache until it’s finally too much. “Fine,” you gasp, nails raking his back. “Fuck me. Please, just—put it in. I need it.” The words break him. With a guttural moan, he lines up and thrusts in, burying himself to the hilt in one smooth motion. You're stretched full, walls fluttering around his thickness, and you cry out, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him deeper. “Oh God, yes,” he groans, stilling for a moment to adjust, forehead pressed to yours. “You’re perfect. So fucking tight.” You clench around him deliberately, and he whines, that puppy-like desperation surfacing again. “Move,” you plead as you rock up, and he does, pulling out halfway before slamming back in. The pace starts slow, experimental as his inexperience shows in the uneven rhythm. But it builds, thrusts deepening, the bed creaking under you. Each snap of his hips grinds his pubic bone against your clit, and with your eyes closed, it’s all you can focus on: the slap of skin, the wet glide of his cock, the way he fills you completely. He buries his face in your neck, kissing and sucking marks into your skin, hands gripping your thighs to spread you wider. “Feels so good,” he mumbles between thrusts. "Like you were made for me. Can’t believe—fuck—” The tension coils tight in your belly, pleasure spiking with every plunge. He’s hitting deep now, tip kissing your cervix, and you arch sharply. But he’s greedy, wanting more, always more. One hand slips between you to find your clit again, rubbing in tight circles that make stars burst behind your eyelids. “Cum for me,” he pleads, voice hoarse. “Wanna feel you squeeze my dick. Please, Y/N.” The command, laced with desperation, tips you over. You shatter, pussy convulsing around him, milking his cock as waves crash through you. He follows seconds later, thrusting erratically before spilling inside, hot spurts painting your walls. He doesn’t even stop then, instead opting to slowly grind against your ass to push it all in. Finally, he collapses onto you as you both pant, bodies slick with sweat.
For a moment, there’s only the aftershocks and his softening cock still twitching inside you. Then he lifts his head and kisses you softly, reverently. “That was incredible,” he whispers. You smile lazily, fingers tracing his jaw once more. “Yeah?” He doesn’t pull out right away, staying buried deep as his breathing evens out, like he can't bear to leave your warmth. His hands roam lazily now, no longer frantic but exploratory as he maps out the dip of your waist, the swell of your breasts. You must possess some kind of iron will because you keep your eyes closed even then such that you can feel every callus on his palms, every tremble in his touch. It’s intimate, this post-climax haze, and it stirs something softer in you despite the teasing edge you cling to. “You're still hard,” you murmur, shifting your hips experimentally and feel him twitch inside you. He groans, low and needy, burying his face in your shoulder. “Can’t help it,” he admits, voice muffled. “You feel too good. Like... I don’t want to stop. Ever.” The confession hangs there, vulnerable and raw, and you can’t resist poking at it. “Aw, puppy,” you coo, running your fingers through his hair. He nips at your collarbone in retaliation, but there’s no bite to it. “You like it,” he says, confidence peeking through the desperation. “The way I beg. Admit it.” You huff, but your body betrays you, clenching around him again. He takes it as an invitation and starts to rock slowly, shallow thrusts that keep him seated deep. It’s lazy and sensual and builds up friction without urgency. “Maybe,” you concede breathlessly, hands guiding his head. “But don’t think it makes you special.” “Liar.” He chuckles against your skin, the vibration sending tingles down your spine. His pace picks up slightly, one hand sliding down to where you’re joined, thumb circling your oversensitive clit. You gasp, the pleasure sharp after your orgasm, but he doesn’t stop, drawing out whimpers you can’t suppress. The room fills with the soft sounds of your shared breaths, the wet slide of him moving inside you, the occasional creak of the bed. He kisses up your neck, lips brushing the edge of the blindfold. “Is this okay?” he asks. “Yeah,” you whisper, turning your head to capture his mouth. The kiss is slower this time as you focus on simply exploring and memorising his taste. He pulls back eventually to sit up and change the angle, hooking your legs over his shoulders. The stretch is deeper like this, his cock hitting new spots that make you moan. “God, you’re beautiful,” he breathes. “I always thought you were but when you’re like this… fuck.” The praise warms you and you reach for him blindly, fingers finding his chest. “Shut up and fuck me harder.” He laughs, but obeys, snapping his hips with renewed vigor. The position lets him grind deep, balls slapping against your ass, and you feel another climax building. His hand returns to your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts, and you shatter again, crying out, though not with his superhero name because that feels a little impersonal. He follows and spills with a whine, collapsing beside you this time. Now, when the darkness creeps in from the edges, it’s not because you’re making the conscious decision to keep your eyes closed. The afterglow lures you to sleep and he holds you throughout it all.
But Spiderman—no, Gojo—lies there with his heart still refusing to slow, greed silent for only a moment but never truly gone. His fingers trace absent patterns over your back as if committing every inch of you to memory like the repetition might somehow make this enough. As if this version of the night, this version of you, can be folded up and hidden somewhere safe for later. Because he knows, even now, that this is the only way he gets to have you. Not in daylight, not with your eyes open and knowing. Not as the boy who sits two rows away and grins when he beats everyone to the answer. Not as Gojo, all sharp edges and arrogance and every stupid mistake he’s made with you piling up behind him like a wall. He presses a kiss to your hair before he can stop himself. It is a stupid thing to do, indulgent and dangerous, but there is no one here to catch him at it, no one but the sleeping girl in his arms who doesn’t know the shape of his face and trusts him anyway. That makes it worse, makes his heart hurt so badly he has to take in a shuddering gasp to calm it, if only slightly. As Spiderman, you had pulled him inside your room by hand. As Spiderman, you had touched his face with your eyes closed and trusted what you found there. As Spiderman, you had kissed him like you meant it, let him close enough to hear the soft wrecked sounds you make when you say his name. It should feel like a victory. Some ugly, secret part of him has wanted this for too long not to recognise the shape of triumph when it finally arrives. And yet it settles strangely in his chest, tangled up with something meaner and sadder. He tips his head back against your pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling, one arm still curved protectively around you. Outside your window the city hums low and distant, all traffic and wind and sirens dulled by height and glass. Somewhere out there, the rest of his life is still moving along with deadlines, classes, the version of himself you will face tomorrow and maybe hate a little more than you did today. His throat tightens. You shift against him again, this time with a sleepy little sigh, and his eyes close at once. If he were better, he thinks, he would leave now before the night can twist this into something cruel, before staying turns this into something impossible to explain later. Before morning puts light on all the parts of him that he intentionally leaves in the shadows away from your gaze.
He tips his head back against your pillow and stares up at the dark ceiling, one arm still curved protectively around you. Outside your window the city hums low and distant, all traffic and wind and sirens dulled by height and glass. Somewhere out there, the rest of his life is still moving along with deadlines, classes, the version of himself you will face tomorrow and maybe hate a little more than you did today. But Gojo is a weak man so he stays. Long enough for your breathing to deepen fully and for your body to grow loose and heavy with sleep beside him. Long enough that he starts to imagine, against all reason, what it would be like if he didn’t have to move at all. If he could still be here when your eyes opened. if he could watch you wake and let himself be seen, just once, just enough to catch the flicker of emotion across your face. Would you be happy? Mad? Disappointed? But the universe is rarely this forgiving and patient, and he eventually pulls himself up on his elbows. You’re still asleep, face half-buried in the pillow now, hair spilled across the sheets, mouth parted slightly on a soft exhale. The sight of you unguarded in such a way makes something ache low and hopeless inside him. There’s a mark near your collarbone he has to drag his gaze away from before he becomes truly pathetic. “Don't do this to me,” he whispers, though whether he means you or fate or himself, he isn’t sure. Obviously, no one answers him. It would be easier if you weren’t like this. If you were messy or careless or cruel in your sleep. If you took up too much space, kicked him in that old wound that still refuses to heal. If you snored. If you drooled on the pillow. If there were anything in the world that made leaving you here feel less like carving something out of himself with his own hands and leaving it on the pillow next to your head. But there isn’t. So Gojo leans down and presses one last kiss to your temple. Before he goes, he stands beside the bed for one suspended moment, looking down at you with all the wretched fondness he never manages to contain well enough. “I'm sorry,” he whispers softly. Then he’s gone, slipping back through the window into the thinning dark before dawn. Morning comes gently. You wake slowly, feeling the ache of too little sleep and something duller lower down, soothed by the warmth trapped under your blanket. It’s a gloomy day outside and faint grey light slips in through the curtains. For one sweet, stupid second, the memory of the night before reaches you before your eyes properly open, and your mouth almost curves with it. You reach out to touch him and find nothing. Your eyes snap open. “Spiderman?” The name sounds ridiculous in the morning quiet. The space beside you is empty, no lingering body heat, no weight in the mattress, no messy shape of someone else, just rumpled sheets and a half-opened window blowing a chill into your room. It all looks so unbearably ordinary for a place where your life had felt, only hours ago, like it was tilting into something secret and miraculous. Something strange moves through you then, too tangled to name cleanly. The first is an easy one to decipher, disappointment, sharp and immediate. Then embarrassment, because some soft foolish part of you had expected to wake up and find him still there. Perhaps not unmasked, maybe not staying forever, but at the very least there to share the same sense of sheepishness you feel. Enough to prove last night hadn’t been a beautiful, selfish thing borrowed from the dark. You reach out and smooth your hand over the cold sheet once, as if you might find traces of your common sense there and regain some rational thought. It doesn’t, to no surprise. All it does is confirm what you already know. Your bed is empty.
Has the sun always felt so good on his skin?
Gojo swings through the city as he does every morning. It’s a habit that comes from the obligation, something Geto had said in passing about the responsibilities of being a superhero—or something. Satoru never really listens when Geto scolds him and he certainly doesn’t care enough now to pull those words to the surface.
His morning patrols are little more than a guilty pleasure anyway. To be above the city made everyone else seem like ants, feeble things that needed saving every minute of every day. But it’s fine.
Because speaking of guilt, that’s what he should be feeling right now. But he doesn’t. In fact, Satoru is having a rather fine and dandy day.
He high fives the police chief when they start scolding him on the mess of webs he left behind during the car chase. He tips the convenient store cashier when he pays for his energy drink, forgoing the whole ‘leave the store and then web cash to the worker’s chest’ bit that he always does. He smiles at the senior citizens when they eye him even though he knows the gesture won’t show through the mask.
He finger guns the kids as they ride by in scooters and bulky, too-big helmets. He graciously rescues a balloon from a tree. He pets a dog on the way to class.
His phone buzzes in the pocket of his jacket that he wears to keep away the winter chill, the new personal phone that he got, not his work phone, and that does a really good job of extinguishing his mood.
Gojo settles down on the ground and ducks into a thin alleyway, pulling out his phone to check.
It’s a calendar notification reminding him that today was the big outing, some aquarium outing he had to beg Shoko to be invited to. Once, he had looked forward to it but now, all he can think of is the hurt in your eyes, the way your mouth falls open in soft pleasure, the slight flutter in your eyes as you arch against his—
He shoves his phone back into his pocket and hurries back to his dorm.
Ignoring Geto's casual greetings, Gojo opts to instead ceremoniously flop into his top bunk the moment he slings in through the open window.
“How was patrol?”
“Don’t ask me stupid questions.”
“Okay.” Geto looks up from his book, turning in his chair to look up at the blue and white lump. “What’s wrong with you?”
Gojo tugs off his mask, ruffling his hair as it falls messy before faceplanting back into his unmade bed. “Nothing.”
“You left the dorm beaming like everyday is just sunshine and rainbows to you, and now you’re back sulking. I wouldn’t call that nothing.” He pauses when he receives no response, before sighing. “Just make sure to ditch the attitude before we meet up with Shoko. And don’t take it out on Y/N.”
Gojo can’t help it, he chokes on his own breath. Geto , of course, notices.
“What was that sound?”
“That’s just how I breathe.”
“You don’t always sound like a kicked puppy when you’re breathing.” His roommate stands to peek over the frame of the bunk bed, raising an eyebrow when he’s met with Gojo's devastated state. “Is this about your tragic loss to Venom? Look, he’ll come back and you’ll get another shot at being a good superhero, I promise.”
“It’s not that.”
“Is it Y/N then?”
Gojo lifts his head just enough to give him an incredulous look. “How did you…?”
“I saw what you were reposting on Tiktok.”
Gojo flops onto his back, hands over his face, feet kicking about in frustration. “God, even when she’s not around she drives me crazy!”
“Not that I’m not super sympathetic about your situation, but maybe it’s not the best idea to freak out about your normal civilian life when you’re Spiderman-ing. It’s better to keep those things separate, you know?”
Gojo grabs his pillow and shoves it over his face.
“Was that an agreement or an act of rebellion? Satoru, I’m serious. You can’t mix your personal life and your superhero activities together.”
He stays quiet, or maybe he’s suffocated himself. Gojo kind of hopes it’s the latter if it’ll save him from telling the truth.
Geto shakes his shoulder. “Dude, stop moping. We have that thing to go to and Shoko won’t be happy if you flake.”
Gojo remains limp and after a few more shakes, Geto frowns with the tiniest hint of worry.
“Okay, out with it. What did you do?”
At this, Gojo finally turns his head to look at his roommate mournfully. A slow, sinking sensation of dread drops in Geto's stomach as he searches this thin glimpse of his roommate’s face.
“Please tell me you didn’t.”
“I did.”
“How bad? Does she know?”
Gojo lets out a long, suffering sigh. “Worse.”
“You kissed her.”
“Worse.”
Geto's mouth drops open. “You fucked her? Satoru, what the fuck?”
“I don’t know, okay, it just happened!”
Geto pulled his hand back as if burnt. “Just happened? These things don’t just happen! Sex doesn’t just happen!”
Gojo groans into his pillow. “We were both consenting adults in this, Suguru, it’s not a big deal!”
“That’s not the issue! She doesn’t know who you are, Satoru!”
“I know that!”
“Do you? Because if you did I don’t think you would have done that!” He runs a hand through his hair. “How does she not know?”
“She kept her eyes closed,” Gojo says.
“You kinky bitch.”
“It was the only way she wouldn’t see!”
“Really? Because I can think of other ways. Have you considered the tactic of just not fucking her in the first place?”
Gojo frowns as if in genuine thought before shaking his head.
“Hell. This is my superhero. We’re all fucked.”
“Suguru, you have to help me.” Gojo sits up, head ducked slightly so as to not hit his head on the ceiling above. “I fucked up okay, I know I did. But it’s complicated, alright? Y/N and I aren’t… good right now. I thought we were and then I dropped my phone and then we fought and now she’s blocked me on everything. Even Linkedin. And Spotify!”
“Satoru, I help you with Spiderman stuff. I help you with last minute homework deadlines because you were too busy saving the world. I help you with lying to our friends about why you disappeared during a bathroom break for an hour that doesn’t involve emptying your guts into a toilet. I’m not helping you when you fumble a girl.”
“But what if I fumbled her because I’m Spiderman. I feel like that counts, right?”
Geto turns and drops himself into his chair, the seat turning slightly at the momentum until he plants his feet down. He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You still haven’t told me what happened.”
“Y/N and I broke up.”
“You weren’t dating.”
“A friendship break up then. A situationship break up.”
“Fine, whatever you want to call it. What even happened? Because every time we talked about her before that it sounded like things were going well.”
“Things were going well. I almost kissed her like, five times. The sixth time would have definitely been the charm.”
Geto makes a face.”I feel like that’s an indication that things aren’t going well, but okay.”
“Anyway, remember when venom showed up a few days ago and I broke my phone?”
“And how you were knocked out for a night? I remember.”
“Right well,” Gojo takes in a deep breath that indicates he’s about to ramble, “because I broke my phone I wasn’t able to tell her something came up and I wouldn’t be able to make the presentation. I only woke up after we had to present, meaning she had to do it herself and now she hates me because she thinks I don’t take her seriously. and I can’t clarify that I do take her seriously because, again, she blocked me on everything. She also unadded me on every Google Doc she shared to me.”
“Damn, she’s serious.” For a moment, Geto seems genuinely apologetic. “That sucks man, I’m sorry you were cockblocked by Venom.”
“Well, it comes with the powers and responsibility and all that.” Gojo falls back onto his bed, starfished as far as his limbs can go before they hit the sides of his bunk bed. “You always have a solution to everything. Can’t you fix my love life too?”
“I can’t perform miracles, dumbass.”
“That's not your line. You’re meant to be sympathetic and helpful. Do you even care about me?”
“No,” Geto says mournfully. “Unfortunately you’re the only one saving our city these days so I kind of have to stick around to make sure you don’t mess that up.”
Gojo grabs his Agumon plushie and throws it down over the side of the railing. He doesn’t have to look over the edge to know it hit its target. “I’m serious, Suguru.”
Geto catches the plushie with ease and gives it a pat on its head, placing it gently on his lap. “I’m serious too. Maybe this is a good thing. I keep telling you that you have to keep your superhero life and your boring, normal person life separate. This just shows you what happens when you don’t do that.”
“Woah, thank you, Mr sunshine and rainbows.”
“Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows.”
“It is when you have the eyes to see it,” he sighs dramatically. “Is it too much to ask that I can just be Satoru and Spiderman without losing anything?”
There’s something in Gojo's voice that makes Geto pause. Maybe it’s the lack of that whiny tilt to his cadence, maybe it’s the fact that he’s shoved his face into another plushie on his bed, voice muffled and hiding the desperate sound.
Geto wants to tell him the truth, that if the world was good and just he could be every side of him, that he shouldn’t have to pick between being a weapon for the city’s safety and an actual person with hopes and dreams and wants. Geto wants to tell him that he shouldn’t have to pick being a superhero over being a person, but he can’t tell him that. Because as the world stands right now, Gojo simply can’t have both.
“There's still that outing,” Geto finds himself saying. “Look, it sounds like you really hurt Y/N but she’s not unreasonable, you know that. I’m sure if you talk to her you can clear things up. Or just apologise now that time has settled.”
Gojo shuffles a little and sits up to look down at his roommate. "Weren't you just telling me I shouldn’t mix personal and work life?”
“You see Spider-Man as work?”
“Answer my question, man.”
Geto sighs. “The part of me that just wants to make sure you’re not hurt doing this whole superhero thing wants to tell you that. But the part of me that’s your friend doesn’t. It sucks that in this world no one can be their genuine self. But I mean it when I say that I want to see you happy and if you’re happy with Y/N then I hope things work out between the both of you.”
No one says anything for a while. Geto looks up.
“Dude, what did you eat today to make you sprout all that feelings bullshit?” Gojo mimes throwing up.
Geto rolls his eyes, grabbing the plushie on his lap to throw it back up at him. Gojo catches it, his Spiderman instincts never letting him down, and when he puts it down on his bed, he’s smiling.
“So, any tips?”
“Just be yourself.”
“I was and look how everything turned out.”
Geto hums. “Then maybe let’s start with your wardrobe. If you’re going to win Y/N back, you can’t show up to the function wearing the same one shirt.”
The aquarium is a shitty place to take someone you’re no longer on speaking terms with.
It seems even the fish have figured out how to move around without touching. Silver fish turn as one body and never collide. Stingrays glide past each other like silk dragged through water. Even sharks know how to circle without making contact, all smooth instinct and measured distance, and that would be deeply meaningful if you weren’t currently trapped in a dark blue tunnel feeling like shit.
It is, Shoko had said in the groupchat three days ago, supposed to be a fun, normal outing. You should have known then that something demonic had possessed her.
The tunnel curves overhead in a long arc of glass, seawater casting wavering patterns of light over the floor and over the faces of people passing through. Children press their sticky palms to the glass, and a baby somewhere up ahead lets out a delighted shriek at the sight of some broad, ghostly thing drifting above. Couples walk slowly enough to be irritating, stopping every two steps to point things out to each other in soft voices.
The entire place is built for wonder and you are having a terrible time.
“Look,” you say from beside Shoko, pointing upward with none of the enthusiasm the gesture should probably contain, “a fish.”
“I think that’s obviously a shark,” Utahime says, squinting upward.
Geto hums, a telltale sign that he’s about to launch into his typical ragebaiting. “I’m pretty sure sharks are fish though, so what do you mean by that?”
“Oh come on, Geto. You know what I mean. There’s fish, and then there’s shark. If I say fish, no one is picturing that. They’re thinking of, like, a normal fish. Small, swimmy, not that giant thing above our heads.”
“So now we’re racially profiling fish and sharks?” Geto pauses as if in deep thought. “So then by your logic, is a stingray fish-looking fish or shark-looking fish.”
“A stingray is its own thing,” Utahime snaps. “Don’t piss me off in public.”
“Seems complicated. Not very obvious then, is it?”
On any other day, there’d be nothing more joyous than joining in and annoying Utahime. Today, however, you’re still figuring out how to move around without being touched.
“At least give yourself the chance to have a good time,” Shoko remarks from beside you, none too impressed with your sulky mood.
You know it isn’t fair to her but to say you’re in a bad mood is an understatement. Every voice only serves to grind your gears and the way people shove past you here and there makes you want to rip off your skin.
Maybe because you got approximately no sleep. Maybe because your body still feels the phantom touch of another, the roughness in his voice as he utters your name all deprived and pleading. Maybe because Gojo is still six inches to your left, all long limbs and damp shadows under his eyes, and every time the crowd bottlenecks in the tunnel, you catch the faint clean scent of his soap like he took a shower earlier this morning.
The tunnel narrows as it curves, forcing all of you into an untidy line. Shoko and Utahime end up leading, Geto just behind them, pointing out silly little things that pisses her Utahime and makes Shoko laugh. You had slowed down for all of three seconds to let a family with two children pass and made the tactical error of allowing Gojo to fall into step beside you. Now the two of you are trapped by the flow of bodies moving through the tunnel at exactly the kind of sluggish, reverent pace that grates against your frayed nerves.
Above, something glides over the glass. The baby up ahead screams again, only louder, such that it echoes down the winding tunnel.
“See, that wouldn't be a fish,” Geto is saying from up ahead.
You can hear utahime through the murmur of the crowd. “I figured.”
“Can’t be too sure.”
There's another shuffle of people from up ahead as if the presence of the stingray is a thing to fawn over, a stop-start of prams and schoolbags and a father trying to explain in a stage whisper why no, his child cannot touch the stingray, and the whole line compresses.
Gojo’s shoulder brushes yours.
You stiffen before you can even try to pretend it had no effect on you and he shifts back, creating what little space he can in a tunnel full of tourists and toddlers. You can feel his hesitation without even looking at him, that careful slouching in on himself he's been doing all day.
“Sorry,” he says quietly.
You don’t bother with a response, looking in the opposite direction as if you had suddenly gained a deep appreciation for marine life.
Shoko glances back over her shoulder to make sure she hasn’t lost either of you, and catches the way the two of you repel from each other. Her eyes flick from your face to Gojo’s, and narrow.
Great, so not only are you miserable, but now you’re probably going to get grilled.
“You two are weirdly quiet,” she cleverly deduces.
“We’re in an aquarium,” you reply. “The whole point is to be quiet and to look at the fish. Or the sharks or—whatever.”
“Are you at least having fun?” she tries again, though judging from her look, it’s clear she already has an answer in mind.
“Definitely,” you mumble at the same time Gojo says, “So much fun.”
You keep your mouth shut, refusing to look over at him. And Shoko, bless her patient heart, only tries again.
“We’re about to reach the actual shark section. You love sharks, don’t you, Y/N?”
“Partial at best.”
“Or we could divert to look at the rock pools and touch some starfish. Doesn’t that sound like fun, Gojo?”
“I guess.” He kicks at the ground, stubbornly glaring at the path.
Shoko rolls her eyes, dropping her gentle parenting act just as the tunnel begins to open up again. The two of you separate like magnets of the same charge when there’s space to move, only heightening her annoyance.
“You both are impossible! You’re acting like kids! Let’s age check real quick, how long are you two going to keep up this silent treatment act for?”
Gojo sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Can you just drop it, Shoko? It’s really none of your business.”
“Woah,” Shoko says. “Gojo’s arrived.”
“I’m serious.” He grits his teeth. “Leave it.”
Shoko looks over at you for your input but you keep quiet, hiding your own guilt by looking away. You’re acting like a kid, you know you are, but it’s hard not to when you have this man child walking beside you.
And because Gojo has never won an argument against with Shoko, never has in the many, many years they’ve known each other, she grabs your hand and his arm and pulls you both together, positive versus positive charge be damned. You visibly flinch when his skin brushes yours, but her hands keep you together.
“I don’t know what happened between you two,” she says, “but you’re going to sort it out right here right now, you hear me? The shark section is up ahead. I don’t care what happens in there, but when you walk out of it, you’re both going to get along. Understood?”
Gojo looks up from where he’s staring at the point of contact where your bodies touch.
“I said, understood?” Shoko presses, drawing you both closer.
You grimace and relent. “Fine, fine. Just let go, won’t you?”
She doesn’t, turning her fierce gaze to Gojo. “Your turn.”
“Shoko,” he starts, but his eyes are fixed over her shoulder. “Let go.”
“I won’t until you tell me the two of you are going to start behaving like adults again."
“Shoko, seriously—”
“Gojo, I’m not letting go until—”
You let out a frustrated exhale. “Just get it over with and say that you will.”
“That’s not it.”
His voice sharpens so suddenly that the three of you freeze. His hand closes around your arm, knocking Shoko’s grip off him in one abrupt movement, and you almost wince at how tight his fingers are.
“Duck!”
Considering you’re at an aquarium and not a zoo, his words confuse you. But the word barely leaves his mouth before the world ends, or at least the tunnel does.
One moment you’re upright and irritated, and the next you’re on the slick aquarium floor with Gojo half over you, his hand clamped around the back of your head as glass bursts somewhere overhead in a noise so violent it seems to deafen you. Water follows half a second later, a freezing, roaring wall of it that slams into your legs and floods the corridor in one breathless rush.
You gasp, inhaling panic with it. For one awful second, all you can see is dark water and something silver whipping past your face so quickly you can’t process whether it’s debris or fish or some secret third option. Gojo’s arms tighten around you just before the current hits full force, shielding you from the bulk of it.
When the initial wave passes, he pushes himself up first, still braced over you, blinking the water from his eyes. “Are you okay? Actually, don’t answer straight away because then you’re probably lying. Are you hurt?”
You stare at him for half a second with your chest heaving, before snapping back into your body. “I think so. Was that enough time to seem genuine?”
“Yeah,” he says, then grabs your hand and hauls you upright with startling efficiency.
A jagged hole has been torn through the glass overhead and water is still pouring through in punishing sheets, waves upon waves lapping at your feet. You ignore it all.
“Shoko!” you shout immediately. “Utahime? Guys?”
“We’re here!” Shoko’s voice comes from somewhere to your right, thin through the alarms and the water. “We’re all okay!”
Through the flashing red light and beyond a rush of water you can’t imagine brushing past, you spot them.
Shoko has one arm around Utahime’s waist and the other braced against the wall, her hair plastered to her face by spray. Utahime is upright, but only just, one hand pressed over her calf where blood is already mixing into the water in thin red ribbons. Suguru is beside them, shoving a fallen display sign out of the way so a knot of panicked visitors can force themselves toward the nearest exit.
“We’re fine!” Geto yells. “Utahime got cut by the glass, but she can walk. We’re heading for the side stairs.”
Shoko twists back, catches sight of you and Gojo still standing there, and immediately cups her hands around her mouth. “What are you two doing? Move! I paid money for this outing and frankly I’d like at least four of us to live!”
Before either of you can answer, something booms deeper in the aquarium hard enough to rattle the glass beneath your feet. All around you, people are still trying to push toward the exits in a mess of uncoordinated panic. One aquarium staff member is shouting for everyone to stay calm in a voice already fraying at the edges and there’s a child sobbing somewhere to your right. Another tank further down the hall has cracked into a spiderweb of fractures that spread wider with every violent thud from beyond.
Gojo tenses, sensing something you can’t before he turns to you, hands on your shoulders. “Get to the exit.”
“Right, okay,” you say automatically, already reaching for his hand to drag him with you. Your fingers slide around his wrist and tug. “Come on.”
He doesn’t move.
You look back at him. “What are you doing?”
“You go with them,” he says, already looking past you toward the ruined hall. “I’ll follow after you.”
You stare at him in disbelief. “Um, no?”
Your voice comes out louder than you mean it to, sharpened by the cold and the adrenaline and the immediate, furious certainty that no, absolutely not, you are not doing this with him again. Not here, not now, not when the floor is flooding and the walls are breaking and he still thinks he can look you in the face and say I’ll follow after like you were born yesterday.
“Do you have a death wish?” you demand. “Come on, the water is rising!”
“Look, I can handle myself.” His fingers tighten once against your shoulder, almost pleading. “I know what I’m doing so just wait outside. Don't worry about me and go.”
It is such a stupid thing to say that for a second you can only look at him.
Don’t worry about me.
As if that has ever worked. As if you haven’t spent weeks trying to ignore him and failing every single time. As if he hasn’t somehow made himself your problem since the moment he had called your grade out in the middle of that irrelevant tutorial room.
You glare at him, at his stupid fluffy white hair gone damp at the edges, at the thick-framed glasses he always pushes up his nose when he starts rambling about something ridiculous, at the stupid blue eyes that seem to shift colour with his mood and are now fixed on the corridor behind you instead of properly on you.
“I can’t,” you say.
His head snaps back to yours. “What?”
“I can’t just ignore you.” The words come out thinner than you want them to, but there’s no taking them back now. “I’ve tried and I just can’t.”
“This isn’t the time for that,” he says, brows furrowed in that way he gets when he’s annoyed.“Don’t be ridiculous, you could get hurt.”
“You could get hurt.”
“That’s different.”
“Is it?” you scoff before looking back at him. “You know what your problem is?”
He rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Oh, here we go. Tell me, tell me what my problem is—”
“Oh, I will. I’ll tell you what your fucking problem is—”
“Oh yeah, you’ll tell me? Cause you know me better than I know myself?”
“Someone has to,” you snap, stepping toward him, daring him to take a step back. “Because clearly you’ve got no clue what you’re doing. Not with this, not with women, certainly not with me.”
He exhales. “Yeah? Well, you’re stuck up and impossible to control and you piss me off.”
“Are you a kid? You sound so dumb right now—”
A crash tears through the corridor hard enough to shake the ground beneath your feet and whatever insult you’ve both had gearing up immediately dies. You both look toward the corridor then to each other.
“Probably not the best time for this,” you say.
“Yeah,” he says. “Let’s shelf this for later.”
“I’m still not going to ditch you so get that through your thick skull and whatever vast air bubble hugs your brain.”
For one ridiculous second, despite the alarms and the flooding and the horrifying sounds of public infrastructure being turned inside out, Gojo actually looks like he wants to laugh.
“Did you just call me an air head?” he asks, the words breathless and almost fond. “You’re never going to make things easy for me, are you?”
You shoot him an incredulous look. “People are dying, Satoru. Lock in. What’s the plan?”
He shakes his head like a dog.
“Okay,” he says, back in motion now, words quick and sharp and all business because he clearly doesn’t trust himself to stay in the other mode any longer. “New plan. We get everyone we can to the exit, and then if you still want to tell me what my problem is, I’ll stand there and let you monologue. But don’t leave my sight and don’t try to be self-sacrificing.”
“You’re telling me?” You snort. “Says the guy who was just about to run off and do exactly that.”
You brush past him, heading towards the tunnel where the sound originated.
Despite every instinct telling him to grab you and pull you out, Gojo finds himself just standing there. He’s always been weak to you, this revelation is not one that comes with any surprise. All you’ve ever really had to do was look at him—properly look at him, with that sharp little glare that says he’s annoyed you again—and some pathetic part of him was already halfway to heel, tail practically wagging. It’s degrading almost, the Spiderman, reduced to nothing but a desperate man in love, but for some reason Gojo can’t find himself hating it completely. That was just how far he had fallen. He drags a hand through his hair and exhales sharply through his nose as he catches up behind you. The mask in his pocket feels impossibly heavy, like it knows better than he does, like it’s already calling him toward the moment he’s been putting off for too long. But he doesn't yet, and settles instead for following behind, every muscle bracing for the second this goes wrong.
You are having much less sophisticated thoughts. You wonder to yourself as you trudge through the ankle deep water, what the fuck are you doing?
Your shoes are full of cold, disgusting salt water and what is, realistically, probably fish shit, when the safe outside had been right there within reach moments ago. You could have left. You could have gone with Shoko and Utahime and Geto and let the staff and the police and whoever else handles aquarium disasters deal with the rest. Instead, you had willingly walked back into where disaster struck. And for what? A boy?
Well, you think. At least you have the experience of fighting off two villains now. One and a half. Okay, more like two halves. That made one. So you’ve had one (1) moment of experience. That was enough, right?
“Don’t worry,” you tell Gojo, noticing his uncharacteristic silence. “If anything happens, I’ll protect you.” He opens his mouth to reply, but whatever smart thing he had lined up dies the second the tunnel widens into the main shark gallery.
A man in a torn aquarium polo staggers through the burst corridor with black slick crawling up one arm and along the side of his throat, jerking in wet, ugly pulses under the emergency lights. A member of staff, who looks maybe nineteen and one bad shift away from quitting forever, is trying to wave people toward the side exit while very obviously trying not to cry.
Gojo is already moving, ignoring the way the room shudders when the symbiote host slams his fist into a pillar.
“I’m going to distract it so the people have time to get out of here. Stay here or go help them but do not get in the way.”
He doesn’t check to see if you’ll agree before grabbing the nearest floating wet floor sign and hurling it at the man’s face with a pitcher’s accuracy. It smacks the figure’s shoulder and bounces away harmlessly, but it does the important thing.
The ex-aquarium staff turns toward him and subsequently, you.
“Okay,” you mutter, already moving. “Looks like you’ve got it from here!”
The host makes a low, distorted sound, half growl and half wet static, and barrels toward Gojo with one blackened arm swelling grotesquely around the elbow. Gojo ducks the first swing, grabs the edge of an overturned brochure stand, and yanks it into the path of the next. It shatters immediately, but the delay buys the nearest cluster of trapped visitors just enough time to break into motion.
You hurry to the sobbing staff member, a girl with her short black hair tied to one side, two hair clips holding her bangs away from her eyes. “Hey, hey, it’s okay! Just think of all the hazard pay you’ll get after this. For now, grab those two and head to the side exit.”
She blinks at you, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks, but eventually nods. “What about you?”
You jab a thumb behind you. “I’m kind of stuck here with this idiot. Now hurry.”
Behind you, there’s a huge crash followed by Gojo saying, “You know, this is why no one likes staff team building exercises. There’s always one guy who takes it too far.”
The villain seems to not enjoy Gojo’s commentary because it roars. You turn in time to see Gojo skid sideways through the floodwater, one hand catching the low railing to keep from going down entirely. The black slick lashes for him again and misses, carving a line of ugly cracks through the decorative panel behind him instead.
It’s not hard to tell that Gojo is losing and in fact, you’d be severely deluded if your nerd situationship sort-of close friend would win against a seemingly inhuman sentient black goo. At least he isn’t losing without dignity. He makes valiant attempts to shove the thing back a step, ducking under a swing only for the next to catch him high in the shoulder and throw him sideways into the viewing rail.
Your heart drops to your ass quick, watching as Gojo drives himself back upright with a wince and a desperate glare for you to stay there.
The symbiote host lurches toward him again, blackened arm distending with a wet, horrific ripple.
Your brain finally catches up.
Okay. Okay, think.
You have seen this stupid black goo twice before now, which feels like two times too many. The first time, you used a fire extinguisher. The second, the steam wand from the cafe had done enough to make the goo retreat. So this thing clearly does not enjoy pressure or heat.
You spin in place, eyes skittering wildly over the wrecked shark gallery.
There’s debris everywhere, broken signage, upside down benches and a cardboard cutout of some mascot shark swims past you in ankle deep water. There’s a staff-only closet near the back, more brochure stands, maps on the wall, when your eyes finally see it. There, near the entrance of the tunnel, is a thick industrial hose line feeding into one of the side filtration systems, its pressure valve mounted low on the wall, bright red against the blue gloom.
One of the sanitation steam lines that run along the upper maintenance track has ruptured where debris struck, hissing softly in the rumble of the crumbling aquarium. White vapour coughs out in fitful bursts, weak now but still there.
“Satoru!”
He glances your way at the exact second the host slams him in the chest, sending him skidding through the water on his back. You wince. “Oh, sorry. Whenever you have the time.”
“I’m fine,” he chokes out, rolling out of the way in time to avoid a second blow. “Thanks for asking.”
You splash toward the pressure valve, shoes slipping against the tiles. “Shut up and use the environment! There’s a pressurised line here and steam up there. You’re just going to have to trust me on this one but I think I have an idea!”
The host, as if sensing your plan, turns towards you. Gojo curses, any sarcasm vanishing in an instant.
“No! Don’t get closer!”
“Too late!” you yell back, already grabbing the valve wheel. “You’re getting your ass beat, Satoru, I’m not going to stand here and just let your ego handle it!”
He rises to his feet, running to you though in the water, it’s only a pathetic sloshing that almost gives you the ick. “My ego? And you think your pride will handle it any better?”
No.
“Yes!”
You wrench at the valve and, because your life has always been full of miracles and good fortune, nothing happens.
The host lunges in your direction again. Gojo catches him from the side, arm hooking around his neck for one desperate second before the black slick ripples up and flings him off. He crashes shoulder-first into the low barrier by the shark viewing glass.
He gasps and coughs, eyes blearily finding yours. “Get—get out of here. Now, Y/N.”
“I’m not giving up.” You brace one foot against the wall. “No pressure, literally.”
You yank at the wheel again but nothing still happens. There’s got to be a safety catch, a pin or latch or something. Your eyes dart over the assembly frantically even as the figure draws itself back on its legs.
“Y/N!” Gojo calls out again, water sloshing around his body as he tries to follow.
Your eyes skim frantically over the valve housing, over rusted bolts and warped metal and a tangle of pipes slick with spray, until they finally catch on a metal locking pin bent half-flat against the side.
Without another thought, you lunge for it and wrap both hands around the pin.
Behind you, there’s a sharp, ugly sound—Gojo sucking in a breath through his teeth—followed by the violent splash of him slamming back into the host. You risk a glance over your shoulder just in time to see him catch the thing by the arm, twist with the momentum, and drive a punch into its face hard enough to make black slick spray across the floodwater.
Pulse spiking, you put your whole weight into the pin. And finally, it gives all at once, slipping free so suddenly you nearly fall backward into the floorwater.
“Got you!” you hiss at the valve before throwing yourself against the wheel.
This time, it turns. The line shudders to life with a deep, violent thump and water pressure surges through the pipes hard enough to rattle the wall.
“Satoru!” you shout, looking up wildly. “To your left! Bring him here!”
He turns his head fast, sees the line, sees you, and somehow understands immediately despite looking one bad hit away from passing out. You suppose he isn’t a genius for nothing.
Gojo stands with more purpose, moving in a tight arc through the floodwater, letting the thing follow. His movements are messier than they should be, attributed to the wounds he’s sustained. You can see it every time he favours his right side, every time his mouth tightens with every dodge.
But he still keeps moving, still keeping the thin on him, keeping it away from you. Trusting your ridiculous plan that was concocted in under a minute.
“Come on,” he calls, breathless and taunting all at once. “Come on and get me, you big ugly thing. I’ve had worse nights.”
The host lunges under the broken steam line.
“Now!” you shout, a command for just yourself really, and crank the pressure line open fully.
A brutal blast of high-pressure water erupts across the gallery and catches the host broadside, slamming into its blackened shoulder and neck with enough force to wrench it half off its feet. At the same time, a fresh burst of steam hisses from overhead where the damaged line gives way under the renewed vibration. And just as you’d hoped, the black slick convulses.
It peels back in twitching bands from the host’s throat and shoulder, recoiling from the steam with an ugly, wet shiver. It starts to back away on unsteady feet.
“There!” you yell, voice cracking with triumph and panic all at once. “Again, use it again!”
Gojo doesn’t hesitate. He grabs the dangling steam pipe with both hands and yanks hard enough to shear the remaining bracket loose. The line drops lower, shrieking vapour across the host’s side.
The thing—not the man, but the thing—lets out a shrill cry, a sound so wrong it feels like it goes through your bones instead of your ears.
Gojo uses the opening immediately, slamming his shoulder into the host’s chest and driving him back into the support beam beside the shark viewing glass. The whole gallery shudders under the impact, but this time the host goes down hard, knees buckling under him as the black slick writhes and spasms under the steam.
You don’t realise you’ve moved until you’re already splashing toward him, relief making you stupid and light all at once. In your head, it should have been graceful, some dramatic run into his arms after shared survival and mutual competence. In reality, the water turns it into a pathetic, uneven waddle that Gojo, in an act of true mercy, only pretends not to notice.
“We did it!” you say, breathless and bright with adrenaline. “That was insane, but we did it. And I’m taking at least seventy percent of the credit, by the way, because without me you were just getting beaten up in a public aquarium—”
He smiles, just barely, and turns to look at you.
“Yeah,” he says, chest heaving. “I guess we—”
Something moves in the corner of his eye.
It isn’t the frantic, wild sort of movement from before, but something uglier for how deliberate it feels. A last-ditch effort. The host drags one arm free of the steam and the floodwater just enough for the black slick to surge violently down its length and gather into one long, brutal lash of muscle and tar.
It comes not for Gojo, but for you.
Gojo sucks in a sharp breath at the sight, his whole face changing before you can even register why. His mouth opens around the start of your name, warning already there, panic rising faster than the sound can leave him.
You are still a few crucial seconds behind.
By the time you catch the movement in your peripheral vision and start to turn, Gojo is already lunging forward. But the thing is too fast, the distance too wrong, and you can see the exact instant he realises he won’t make it to you in time as himself.
You turn just enough to see it.
Ah.
So this is how stupid people die.
Something white snaps through the air.
The strike jerks violently sideways before it can hit you, yanked off course so hard it slams into the side wall instead, cracking the tile with a wet, horrible impact. A scream tears from your throat, loud and sharp in the aftermath, but the thing barely registers to you now, not even when the goo gives one last shudder and forms something like a trembling fist aimed in your direction.
You don’t care about that anymore.
Instead, your eyes track the white line stretched taut across the gallery.
You follow it all the way back.
All the way to Gojo.
He stands there with his arm still half outstretched. His face is stricken with lingering panic, but there is something else there too, something like resignation, like he knows whatever happens next might end his world right here in a crumbling aquarium.
You look from his face to his wrist and then back again.
“What,” you say, finding no other words that fit the moment. “What the fuck.”
Gojo lowers his arm very slowly. Water drips from his sleeve, from his fingers, from the impossible thin connecting him to the wall beside you.
“This is not how I wanted to tell you,” he says, his voice suddenly rough in a way you recognise far too well.
The host roars, and it’s that sound that snaps both of you back into motion.
Gojo’s hand goes to his pocket and comes back with the mask—of course it’s the mask. Blue and white, worn at the edges, and, hell, maybe you’re hallucinating now, but is that still the little tear you left in the fabric that night?
He hesitates just before pulling it over his head, eyes darting back to you as he says, “Please wait for me. Just this once, please wait.”
There is no time to process the fact that his eyes look almost frightened. No time to process the fact that the voice you’ve heard in your ear and the voice that has said your name in two different ways now belong to the same infuriating man. There is really no time to process anything at all.
So, shockingly, you do the mature thing.
You nod.
“Okay,” you say, and your voice sounds strange to your own ears. “Okay. Go.”
You watch as Gojo stares at you, hopeless and pleading all at once, the mask slipping over his face. But now that you’ve seen him—seen him bare and vulnerable and desperately hoping—the blue and white can no longer hide it.
Spider-Man keeps looking at you even as he slings onto the adjacent wall, the sticky material catching with a faint smack.
“I’m going to explain everything,” he says. “I promise. Just—please. Please still be here when I come back.”
He doesn’t wait for your response, not properly. Maybe because he’s worried whatever words leave your gaping mouth will be a rejection. Maybe because if he waits another second, he’ll stay here looking at you until the whole room caves in around you.
Spiderman slings out onto the adjacent wall, the web catching with a faint, sticky smack, and for one absurd second all you can think is that even upside down and half-bleeding he’s still showy.
Then he launches and whatever restraint Gojo had been fighting with until now is gone.
The host lunges towards you but you don’t flinch. There’s simply no fight in your body anymore. Not that it matters because Spiderman meets him in the centre of the gallery.
What had looked clumsy and desperate when Gojo was still trying to pass for your average citizen becomes something else entirely now that he’s abandoned his facade. His body understands the room in ways you never could, every rail, every shattered edge, every unstable surface becomes a part of him when the web attaches to it, part of the fight. He lips under the host’s first strike and plants a hand against the flood tile, driving both feet into its chest hard enough to send it skidding backward through the water.
He flicks his wrists out before the host can recover, pinning one arm to a fractured support beam, another line catching its ankle.
The black slick surges and peels away from the first web, but it's too slow. Spiderman is already gone from where he was, slinging upward into the steam and dropping back down from above with enough force to slam the hose into the floor.
The black mass writhes and lashes and tries to reform over the host’s body, but now there is no hesitation in the man fighting it, no room left for restraint. Spiderman moves with frightening precision, using every opening, every recoil, every half-second where the thing peels back under heat and sound. He webs one wrist, then the throat, then the opposite shoulder, dragging the host back into the pressure line each time he tears free. The slick recoils violently, shrieking, trying and failing to hold together.
Was it just you but did it look like Gojo was taking his frustration out on this thing?
Your mind keeps trying and failing to fit the pieces together. It all comes together anyway, the way Gojo had always disappeared at the wrong times, the way Spiderman’s voice had felt familiar even when you told yourself that was ridiculous and known things about you he couldn’t have. The way he touched you, the way the other never quite did, not completely, as if afraid of what would happen if he started.
All of it was him. Every humiliating, infuriating, impossible piece of it.
The host tears free one last time, black goo surging over his chest in a final desperate wave. But by now, it should learn that doing something over and over again is a sign of insanity because Spiderman is already there.
A webline catches high overhead and with a yank, the hanging steam pipe drops lower. Another shot takes the alarm cable and rips it loose in a shower of sparks. He drives forward, one hand wrapped around his web, the other braced against the host’s chest, and hurls him back into the flooded floor beneath the full force of the steam.
The black mass writhes and shrieks then tears free all at once. It peels from the man’s body in one final, violent shudder and streaks away through the fractured wall paneling, vanishing into the dark beyond the gallery even as Spiderman attempts to stop it.
Then the host collapses, dead.
Then nothing. Of course, not complete silence as the alarms still ring and water still drips. But between the two of you, across the room now suddenly empty of the thing that had stood there, there is a different kind of stillness.
Spiderman straightens slowly. He stands in front of the steam and the ruin and the broken shark glass, chest heaving, mask still over the face you now know too well, and even from here you can see the way his body sags just slightly under the cost of what he’s just done.
You stare at each other, the gap between endlessly vast until you decide to close it.
Your shoes drag through the floodwater, sending up ugly little splashes with every step, and by the time you reach him, any dignity you might have salvaged from the reveal is long dead and buried beneath three inches of fish water. He stands there waiting, one hand hanging at his side while the other presses hard against his ribs.
Your hands fist the front of his hoodie and he lets you.
“You are the biggest liar I have ever met in my entire life,” you say, voice trembling with the weight of everything.
Spiderman—Gojo—lets out a weak laugh. “That sounds about right.”
You yank the mask up without another word.
It catches for half a second on his nose before sliding free, damp and warm in your hand, and there he is. Just Satoru now. He’s pale, soaked through, hair plastered to his forehead, lips parted around the hard pull of his breathing. There’s blood at the corner of his mouth and more blooming darkly beneath his hoodie where he’d been hit, but his eyes are on you and only you with that same awful, naked openness they had before he put the mask on.
“Satoru,” you say, and his name comes out rough, almost wounded.
His eyes lift to yours at once, terrified of what he might find there.
You slap him. And honestly, compared to everything he went through less than a minute ago, compared to what he deals with everyday, you’d call the slap a puny, pathetic hit. Still, the hand from his side flies up to cup his cheek, looking more startled than in pain.
“That,” you start,” is for lying to me.”
He gapes at you wordlessly.
Then all at once, the rest of it rises inside you—the fear, the relief, the horrible rush of seeing that black strike coming at you and knowing, with perfect clarity, that Gojo would throw it all away to save you, even if it meant revealing his identity.
You lift your hand again but this time not to strike. Instead, your fingers brush his jaw, trembling against the damp skin there, tracing the shape of him you thought you knew so well. You feel his pulse leap, hear his breath catch.
“This,” you whisper, steadier now that you know this is what you want, “is for saving me.”
You go up on your tippy toes, lean forward, and kiss him.
Gojo freezes, arms held out in the air as he pieces together the scene. You’re not mad, well maybe you’re mad, but you’re over that now because you’re kissing him. Wait, you’re kissing him? Then what is he doing just standing there?
A soft, startled sound escapes him, swallowed immediately by your mouth, before he’s drowning in it. The kiss turns desperate, all relief and fear and weeks of restrained feeling collapsing into one reckless, aching moment.
One wraps around your waist and the other catches at your back, hauling you flush against him with desperation. You feel the wound in his ribs in the way his body tightens, the way his breath catches sharply through his nose, but he ignores it completely, pressing you closer like he needs the proof of you there, solid and real and choosing him.
When you finally pull back, it’s only because breathing becomes a necessity again.
His forehead knocks against yours, his eyes fluttering close as he rests there, panting.
The alarms are still going off somewhere beyond the ruined gallery. Water still laps around your ankles, cold and foul and full of things you would rather not identify. Security is shouting in the distance, voices getting closer, but here, in this stupid little pocket of aftermath, the world has narrowed down to the heat of his hands on you and the shape of his breath fanning over your mouth.
When he finally opens his eyes again, he looks a little dazed. Not concussed, though probably that too.
“You kissed me,” he says, and his voice comes out low and rough and almost disbelieving. “After everything?”
You stare at him. “Do you want me to take it back?”
His hands tighten instinctively at your waist. “No!” The answer leaves him quickly before he swallows, eyes flickering over your face to gauge your response. “No, please don’t do that.”
“I’m still angry at you, you know.”
“I know.”
“You lied to me.”
“I know.”
“You kept lying to me.” You stop. “You also knew. This entire time you knew and you just played me twice over.”
He winces a little at that. “Yeah. That one’s harder to defend.”
His gaze drops to your mouth for half a second before climbing back to your eyes, slower this time, more careful.
“I kept thinking there’d be a better time to tell you,” he says. “A version of this where I could do it right. Then every time I almost said something, it got harder because the longer I waited, the worse it got, and I knew that. I knew I was making it worse, I just—I was scared. It was easier for me that way but I also know it was cowardly and I’m sorry.”
You nod once. “And?”
“And?” he repeats before he catches the disapproving look in your eyes and starts scrambling for more. “And… I’m sorry for—well. Actually I’m not sorry about that part.”
You hit him lightly on the arm. “Say you’re sorry for deceiving me.”
“Right, right. Sorry for deceiving you.”
“And that you won’t do it again.”
“And I won’t have sex with you in the Spiderman suit again.”
You hit him again but your mouth twitches before you can stop it, the familiarity of the banter easing the uncertainty. He catches it, of course, that tiny almost-smile, and his expression softens.
“I really am sorry,” he says again. “For all of it. The disappearing. The missed presentation. The lies. Being me, I guess.”
“Being you is, unfortunately, one of your biggest issues.” You pause, eyes flickering down to his lips. “But I think I’m willing to work around that one.”
You watch his eyes drop to your mouth in turn, watch the decision happen in him, quiet and unmistakable. He leans in first this time, just enough for his breath to warm your lips, just enough to make your pulse trip over itself—
“They’re in here somewhere!”
The shout tears through the gallery from the corridor behind you, followed immediately by the unmistakable chaos of multiple people splashing through floodwater at once.
“Please save them!”
“Utahime,” Suguru’s voice says, strained and much closer now, “if you scream at the police one more time, they’re going to leave us here—”
You jerk back so fast you nearly headbutt him and then his maybe concussion would have been a definite one.
Gojo blinks at you, dazed and breathing hard, his mouth still parted from the kiss you almost had before he too regains his senses and pulls back just enough to stop sharing the same air. Then, the both of you turn to that tunnel.
Utahime barrels into the gallery first, wild-eyed and soaked,hands cupping around her mouth as she calls your names, the wound on her leg now wrapped up. Shoko walks in right behind her with a tight expression that immediately crumbles at the scene. Geto is just behind them followed by two officers and what appears to be the entire remaining aquarium emergency staff.
You shove the mask still in your hand into your pocket, fingers fumbling once against the wet fabric, but don’t do much more to break away from the incriminating position. His hand is still on your waist, your own fingers are still hooked into the front of his hoodie, and your chest is pressed flush against his.
Shoko is the first to say something. “Well. I guess you guys did make up after all.”
“Did this happen before or after you took the crazy madman down?” Utahime says, deciding that is the most important detail to clarify.
“Are you two not done yet or should we come back in a bit?”
It’s Geto’s words that finally has you pulling apart, blushing madly and eyes looking frantically away from each other.
And when the police finally reach the two of you, shouting over one another and very tactfully ignoring your swollen lips, you feel something brush against your hand. Gojo’s fingers curl carefully around yours, warm and tentative despite everything, and, more importantly, despite the very audible snickering coming from your right where your friends have been herded aside to let the officers work, you lace your fingers through his without hesitation.
Because with Gojo’s thumb brushing against the side of your hand while an officer asks if either of you can walk unassisted, it’s hard to feel like the world is ending anymore. You had spent so long acting like meeting Gojo Satoru on March 15th at 10:12am was the beginning of your personal apocalypse. Granted, he is still infuriating and he is still a liar. But standing there in a flooded aquarium with his hand in yours and his blood on his shirt and a superhero mask hidden in your pocket, you can’t help thinking maybe you’d been a little dramatic.
Or maybe not. Maybe the world really had ended when you met Gojo Satoru. It’s just that, now that you’ve survived the aftermath, you’re starting to think the next one might be better.
a/n: PHEWW thank u for making it to the end! this has been the unwanted child in my drafts for three whole years and rewriting it was a pain considering how unfunny i was but if there’s one less lonely girl in the world then it’s worth it <3 this was a lot longer but i had to cut down for tumblr’s character limit ☹️ rip to all the shoko + utahime silly scenes and the injured spiderman scene and the lab satoru scene and the—[GUNSHOT] regardless !! shoutout to flatline as always and to all the national days we missed the deadlines to <3 see you guys on the 28th for national burger day on this fine burger month 🍔
taglist:
@rikhotta @gojoswaterbottle @creamflix-main @livexkc @scrutinyunmatched @geniejunn @rain-market @tinyrat6 @moonysmelody @qquishie @goonslayerr @pochaccoworld @biapluto @belchyra @wvnkoi @blu3berryies @mikaxblog @milessmoralessfr @nightmarenyxx @16llui @satoorm @idkidk32 @ihatemynewbangs @jollysatoruxoxo @j6hnaya @alicethinksaboutwriting @gtokay123abc @thebiggestsimpoutthere @secretsofchance @artbligh @yxo7 @magicalpeenpoo @p3talswayingindesun
no doubt ── s. jy
↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.
↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || angstttt, fluff, crack
↳ ✎ᝰ. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]
↳ contains ── angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this fic—basically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends.
Like, there was no other option.
Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfection—top of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet.
Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chair—life of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches.
Nothing alike.
So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:
"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!"
"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!"
But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17?
The universe was taking notes.
So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothers—the true puppeteers in this scenario.
All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy.
You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable.
You two—just like your moms—were inseparable.
By high school, everyone knew you were a package deal—where you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical.
"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags.
"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes.
"Did they ask for your social security number?"
"Y/N."
"Exactly. I'm just saying—if you end up on one of those exposé documentaries about fake talent shows, don't say I didn't warn you."
Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six.
So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at all—it was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.
What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world.
Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about you—his non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours).
And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new home—the endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member.
Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.
Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment.
"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza slice—one of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savory—"
"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in.
Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour.
Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash.
Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing.
Not a single bag is packed.
"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."
"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you.
From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."
"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."
"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."
"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction.
"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."
"Pickles enhance flavor too!"
"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."
"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his face—you can hear it loud and clear.
"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."
The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades.
"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word.
You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin.
After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppings—and yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsession—you decide it was time for a drink refill.
Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark.
"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly.
Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern.
"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.
"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."
He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."
Ah. Of course. Jenn.
You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreak—not just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-up…and even messier make-up.
"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."
Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of you—shoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation.
"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him.
"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him.
"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."
Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why I’m surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."
“Of course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."
For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further.
Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chest—a tangled knot of sympathy and…something else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jake—but you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong.
"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."
Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."
"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."
His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries.
"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter.
You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you.
"Y/N?"
You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation.
"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says it—soft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperate—makes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."
You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."
For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.
"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.”
You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him.
Jake's body is on autopilot at this point.
Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe.
And he loves this life—he really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just can’t seem to shake it.
When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it.
Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone.
Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels different—sharper, louder—and before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen.
A familiar battle wages in his mind, one he’s been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and he’s been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isn’t just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves.
It’s something else, something harder to name.
And for some other reason he can’t seem to explain, he thinks it’s you.
Jake doesn’t know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming.
Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself it’s nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. You’re back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense.
It’s logical. Nothing more.
That’s what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. It’s not about you specifically—it couldn’t be. It’s just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating.
Obviously. Nothing more.
He presses call.
Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home.
"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"
Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but...
He doesn't want to hang up.
Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.
"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."
"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words.
Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"
The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens.
"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."
"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"
"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows.
There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “How do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make everything feel...lighter. Like, I can’t explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like I’m not carrying all this stuff by myself.”
Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability.
“Because you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? That’s what friends are for."
Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying.
"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everything—the tour, the...break-up, just...you?"
Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."
"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"
Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for that—for the distraction.
But now, with you, it feels different.
Safer, easier. Natural.
“Honestly? I don’t know,” he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. “Some days it feels like I’m fine, like I’ve moved on, and other days...it’s like I’m stuck in this loop of ‘what ifs.’ Like, what if I did something different? Or..."
He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"
“Jake,” you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasn’t the right person for you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.”
He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there.
"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helps—a lot."
“I’m glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”
Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chest—a knot he didn't even realize was there.
“You always know what to say, don’t you?”
“It’s a gift,” you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter.
"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."
You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists.
In both a comforting and terrifying way.
"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."
Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."
"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it.
A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call.
But he can't help himself.
"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"
"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."
You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"
"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep.
"Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Jake."
"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleep—you really should—but you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen.
"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."
You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."
"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."
"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job."
“Emotional support human,” Jake repeats, chuckling softly. “You’re right. I guess I really owe you, huh?”
“Oh, 100%,” you shoot back, a grin in your voice. “I want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.”
“Done. What size?”
"The oversized one."
Jake pauses. “Let me guess—so you can sleep in it?"
You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, “Hey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"
You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line.
“Cute. I’ll make sure to steal one for you.”
You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But lately—over the past month of phone calls—the way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold.
In both a comforting and terrifying way.
“So, how was your day?” you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts.
"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."
"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."
"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."
Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are light—I mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sake—but it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.
You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.
"You're so weird."
“But you like it,” he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like he’s testing the waters.
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly.
"Debatable."
“Liar.”
His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, “You wouldn’t still be on the phone with me if you didn’t like me at least a little.”
“Maybe I’m just bored,” you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if he’s serious or just messing with you.
You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."
“Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?” You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words.
“By being my usual charming self, duh,” he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. “And, you know, calling you every night so you don’t forget about me.”
Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"
“Never,” Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. “But just in case…I like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like I’m not a million miles away.”
His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady.
“You’re not a million miles away, Jake.”
“Feels like it,” he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. “I miss home. I miss...you."
Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing again—the erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real.
And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for.
Not yet.
"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice.
Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."
"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice.
"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."
He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that.
And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him.
But, regardless, you always give him the same reply:
"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"
"Don’t say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."
"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb."
"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Jake."
As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice.
It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends.
But deep down, a part of you tells you it isn’t that simple anymore.
And maybe—just maybe—he knows it too.
“Are you busy?” Jake’s voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension.
“Never too busy for our calls,” you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesn’t respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. “Hard day?”
He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guys’ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycle—all spiraled into a mental mess he doesn’t seem to shake.
The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to you—the one person who could steady his racing thoughts.
"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my face—I'm just—it's like I'm never alone."
Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if he’s admitting something for the first time—not just to anyone else, but to himself.
"I—I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"
You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow.
"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."
He lets out an exhale—shaky, but relieved.
"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."
"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. “I know.”
"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging you—just wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."
"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."
What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergency—all because Jake couldn’t figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matter—his words, not yours).
"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh.
He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.
"Okay, but seriously, you’re trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness.
"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"
"Jake,” you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."
He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."
You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."
His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.
"Only because you said so."
"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.
The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know.
"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds.
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."
"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.
On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how he’s feeling, and he thinks—not for the first time—that you might be his favorite person in the world.
The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relax—to just be.
You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs this—a moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him.
Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, it’s so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.
"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench.
"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."
"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."
You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you.
"Always, Jake."
“Tell me something about you that I don’t already know,” you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jake’s come to crave.
“Hmm,” Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you.
Even though it’s definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal.
Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right.
“I don’t know,” he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. “I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.”
“You’re so corny it physically hurts, Jake,” you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away.
“Oh—wait, wait! I have one,” he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement.
“Hit me,” you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds.
“I’m allergic to flowers.”
The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering.
“That’s your fun fact? That’s so tragic, Jake,” you gasp through your giggles. “Like, depressingly tragic.”
“Hey! It’s not that sad, it could be worse,” Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can).
“So you’re telling me you’ve never bought a girl flowers before?” You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling.
“Guess not,” Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. “Jenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever I’m around any kind.”
You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jake’s phone like sunshine, and Jake doesn’t even realize he’s smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache.
But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang of…anything. No weird tension, no lingering sadness—just a casual mention and then…nothing.
It’s freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didn’t know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if he’s found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed.
He wonders maybe it’s not when—maybe it’s who.
And he wonders if it’s you.
Today was supposed to be Jake’s day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.
Key term: supposed to be.
Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfare—and losing spectacularly.
The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.
Freedom was a lie.
Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.
It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name of—city number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.
Big mistake.
The outfit on display—similar to his mind—had you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.
Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.
He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.
Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.
You’d love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it was—even though Jake would pay for it—yet you’d still finish the entire thing.
And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too.
Because you always did.
And Jake always lets you.
The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone.
It was instinctual at this point.
Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image) Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)
Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.
By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like he’d run a mental marathon—except instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.
He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.
Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him.
You texted him two hours ago—a sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.'
Casual. Normal.
But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'
Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.
But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.
The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlier—when Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.
Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.
Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?
Answer: Jake.
But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.
She’s just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because she’s cool and funny and…and she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But it’s normal to think about your friends, right? Right??
But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.
And then it hits.
Like, really hits.
Oh my god. I like her.
Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.
No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.
Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.
Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, she’s cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-they’re-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dad’s-jokes-and-enjoying-your-mom’s-meals-forever kind of way.
And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying.
It's exhilarating.
Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until now—until you. Because this feeling with you?
This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.
Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.
With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.
Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.
Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?
But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?
What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.
And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.
Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.
Obviously.
Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?
What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?
He presses call.
The line rings twice before you answer.
"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"
Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.
"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."
"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.
Yeah, he definitely likes you.
"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.
"No—well, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."
Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.
"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"
Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, “You exist. That’s what.”
Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.
"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."
"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."
"And what's that?"
Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.
But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.
"I like you, Y/N."
The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.
“I mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.”
The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.
"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."
Then, you let out a soft exhale—a disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.
"Jake..."
"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "
For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerable—and yet, strangely, it feels right.
Because he means it, every word.
He's never meant anything more.
The line had gone quiet after Jake’s confession, his words echoing in your ears.
“I like you, Y/N.”
No, not like. Really, really like.
You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real.
A part of you still thinks it isn't—that this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call.
But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day.
First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video calls—but somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper.
Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy who’d effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you you’d done the same for him.
But then, came the fear.
Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery process—a way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave.
You weren’t naive enough to see Jake’s past relationship didn’t still linger in the corners of his mind. You’d seen him struggle with it before, how hard he’d tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something real—a Band-Aid for a wound that wasn’t even yours to heal?
And worse—what if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign.
Because that’s exactly what it would feel like, wouldn’t it? Giving it, letting yourself hope—only to crash and burn spectacularly.
Deep down, you knew you weren’t just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point.
You were risking everything.
And the worst part?
You were already halfway there.
That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not.
But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse.
Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didn’t send and every call you didn’t make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear:
You were already his.
You miss Jake’s voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep.
And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t ready to admit to yourself:
You were his. Completely.
The only question now was whether you’d let yourself believe he was yours too.
"Y/N?"
"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."
A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meant—"
"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."
"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, and—"
"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you.
"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."
You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out.
"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"
A beat of silence.
Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."
You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"
"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."
Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"
Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hours—into the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."
You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."
"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"
"Jungwon."
"Exactly."
You groan again, "But Jungwon, what if…what if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?"
Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, “Jake’s not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldn’t tell you he likes you unless he meant it.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Look," he interrupts. "Jake’s a lot of things—annoyingly loud, for one—but he’s not the kind of guy who’d use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.”
You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanket—because you know they're true.
“And for what it’s worth,” Jungwon continues, “I think you like him too.”
“I..,” you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.”
“That’s okay,” Jungwon says gently. “But don’t let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.”
You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is.
"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude.
"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriously—you should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where I’m gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."
A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."
"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?"
Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum.
"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."
You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."
"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."
The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact picture—a selfie the two of you took together many years ago—staring back at you like a challenge.
Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists.
But then you remember Jungwon's words.
You deserve this.
And so does Jake.
You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name.
The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up.
"Y/N," Jake’s voice is rushed, a little breathless.
"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"
"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still would’ve picked up."
"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed this—you missed him.
"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath it—the faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have.
You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."
"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."
You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About you. About…us.”
Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself.
You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."
"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness.
You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admit—to Jake and to yourself.
"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't know—you're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, or—"
"Y/N,” Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle.
"You're not…a rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you."
Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you.
“You’re the one who makes me laugh when I’ve had the worst day,” Jake continues. “You’re the one I want to talk to, even when I’m running on zero sleep. You’re the one I think about when I’m on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. It’s you, Y/N."
His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming.
"Are you sure, Jake?"
"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words.
You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, “You’re so cheesy, you know that?”
Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air.
"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady.
You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing.
“Jake?” You say finally, your voice trembling.
“Yeah?”
“I think…” You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. “I think I want to try too.”
The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jake’s laugh—soft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter.
“You're driving me crazy, Y/N,” he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, a smile clear in his tone.
“I hope I am,” you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. “Guess I’m stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?”
“Stuck with me?” Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. “No way. I’m stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”
His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless.
“Good,” you whisper, your cheeks warm. “Because I don’t want you to.”
“Hi Jake,” your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you.
“Hey pretty,” he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip.
You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, “Oh, so now I’m pretty, huh?”
Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, “Nah, you’ve always been pretty. Just didn’t have the guts to say it to your face before.”
You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Jake.”
“Stop that, don’t hide. Let me see your face,” his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks.
“Cute,” he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.
“Whatever,” you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. “How was your day today?”
“Mmm, it was good,” Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. “Busy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But it’s nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?”
“I’m glad,” your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. “You deserve all of it, Jake.”
“Stop,” now he’s groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. “You’re going to make me blush.”
“Mm, looks like you already are, Jakey,” you shake your head, laughing softly.
“Maybe a little,” he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you can’t help but laugh again.
The call falls quiet for a moment, but it’s not awkward—just comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him.
“I miss you,” he says suddenly, and there’s something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard.
Your heart stutters.
“Jake, I literally called you this morning,” you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you can’t resist, “I miss you too.”
“You don’t sound convincing enough,” his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. “Say it like you mean it.”
“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that it’s physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I don’t see you soon. Happy?”
“Very,” he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"
"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."
Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."
"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"
"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."
You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you.
"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."
Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face.
"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip.
You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."
"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness.
"I don't know—like you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning.
"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."
His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jake—the one that speaks so candidly, so sweetly—like you're the only person in his universe.
But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too.
Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with.
"Jake..."
"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading.
"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"
"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."
He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."
You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everything—the doubts, the undefined boundaries—you can't deny the truth of how you feel.
"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."
You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."
"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."
You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"
"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."
"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."
"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Something—or someone—I want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."
You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone.
“You're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."
"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."
"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."
"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."
Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you? Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you? Jake [2:16AM]: well…yea but I was thinking about you so…
Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture.
“Hi,” you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over.
“Hey pretty,” he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep.
“You have two seconds to give me a good reason why you’re here talking to me instead of getting a good night’s rest before your concert tomorrow,” your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look.
Jake laughs lightly, “Hey! Okay, hear me out. I couldn’t sleep, so I did something.”
You raise an eyebrow, “You did something? That sounds ominous, I’m scared.”
“Yeah. For you,” he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. “I made you a playlist.”
Your brain stalls at how simple he says it—so casual, as if not packed with so much meaning.
“A playlist? You—wait, why?”
Jake shrugs, “I don’t know—I guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..”
You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered.
And aced it.
And of course, he notices—because Jake always notices.
“You okay there?” His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity.
“Define okay,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. “Because if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy who’s halfway across the world, then no, I’m absolutely not okay.”
Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, “If it helps, you’re not the only one losing your mind here.”
“Oh yeah?” you arch an eyebrow, “What’s your excuse, Sim?”
“My excuse?” He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. “Hmm…let’s see…I’m hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and who—“
“Okay! Stop, stop, enough,” your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold down. “You’re gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. I’m not strong enough for this.”
Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, “Fine, fine. But seriously, look.”
You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link.
“It’s called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?”
You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognize—all of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you.
"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming.
"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction.
"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."
Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two.
"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."
You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over you—vulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."
"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."
You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence.
"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over.
"Only if they’re about you," he quips, grinning.
You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."
"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into.
"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he is—even with the pillow creases on his cheek.
"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."
"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head.
"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."
Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."
Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."
A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jake—sweet, determined, and impossibly endearing.
But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile.
Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:
Y/N! Hope you’re doing well! We all miss you and can’t wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The team’s already prepping everything. We’d love for you to come—it wouldn’t be the same without you. 10 PM! See you!
You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself.
Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."
"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."
"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."
"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"
"Because I know you're hiding something—" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "—and you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."
"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleep—you're barely holding it together over there."
"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."
His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."
"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"
You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this point—but in the best way possible, of course.
"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."
The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only.
Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought:
Jake.
The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonight—when you finally see Jake in person—could go down.
Because, really—how exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself?
Not exactly something you can Google.
Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)
By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helping—why did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)
And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the years—all the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now.
Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the door—because 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alert—to you, it really is.)
The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding.
Any second now.
Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.
Simultaneously.
The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voices—one of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches.
And then the door swings open.
"SURPRISE!"
The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and Jake—Jake looks beautifully, stupidly confused.
Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptions—just Jake.
It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jake—the boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months.
Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to you—it all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?!
But then, finally, his eyes land on you.
The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression.
But you manage half a second of calm—half a second—before that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at you…but also from miles away at the same time.
His jaw tightens slightly—so slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at him—and for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see things—
He looks away.
He looks away.
He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened.
And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing there—staring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right?
Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes you—remember all those times he said it?
Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine.
You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment.
It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely.
Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension.
Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this is—your mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.
You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happen—this was not one of them.
You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
"Y/N!"
Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."
"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."
He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."
"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms.
"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him.
"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."
You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid it—given you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for him—you're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear).
But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of me—oh, and also—"
"Jungwon."
"—if he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate to—"
"Jungwon!"
He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterday—or even an hour ago—you would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore.
"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them.
"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion.
"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."
Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat.
"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."
You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.
"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."
Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet?
But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."
And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him.
This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder.
"Jake!"
Jake turns around, and for a moment—a fleeting, fragile moment—you catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch.
"Y/N."
Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?
Now it feels like an afterthought.
His voice is calm, steady—too steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."
Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hug—but now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life.
Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension.
"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel.
Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."
You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crack—silently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug.
A shrug.
Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulder—whose voice sounded just like Jake's—whispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never there—as if it was never yours—in the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh.
As if they never belonged to you.
You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you.
"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."
The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there.
Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something there—but before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name.
"I—I should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"
He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos.
For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish.
Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chest—a heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just now—guarded, distant, a stranger—was so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew.
The Jake who made promises.
Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time.
Maybe you were just someone to fill the time.
Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them.
"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."
"I've been here,“ you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, “just...mingling."
Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."
You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."
Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. What—did someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"
At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls.
But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"
"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."
Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room.
"Hey...isn't that—"
You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't.
Because just like that, your world crumbles.
There she is—Jenn.
You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even.
Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder.
The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face.
The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away.
The way he smiles at her.
That same smile—the one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yours—now feels like a cruel joke.
And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter.
You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:
Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place.
Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your face—all the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands.
"Y/N, wait—" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater.
"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper.
Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made it—escaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throat—but a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you.
You glance over your shoulder, and there he is.
Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it.
Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor.
You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you.
"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "What—where are you going?"
"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door.
Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me—"
"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."
He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."
You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fine—"
"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door.
Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak.
You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence.
"Y/N."
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago.
But still, you hear it anyway—because of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice.
And you hate it.
You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun.
You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on him—on the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his face—you hate yourself even more.
Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look.
“Can we talk?” Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you.
From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."
He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator.
The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.
You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter.
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.
“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over.
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."
“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…”
"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous."
"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest.
You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.”
“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."
"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?”
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—”
“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you were afraid of.
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you’ve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true.
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."
"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said—I meant it."
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over.
"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. “You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."
You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I—I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."
Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of you—broken, because of him—cuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.”
You look at him—at the boy who became your safe space these past few months—and all you feel is the ache in your heart.
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..."
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay—to give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better.
"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.
To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps—a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.
The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane.
Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head.
"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."
You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb.
Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again.
"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."
"I'm not—" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue.
“You are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."
The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."
He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."
You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it.
Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in.
"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse.
Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"
You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. I—I just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..."
You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to.
You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"
There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale.
"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for him—especially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"
You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"
"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would he—"
"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."
You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"
“Are you kidding?” Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “Y/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, I’ve seen it.”
And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out.
Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder—close enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you.
"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you.
"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."
You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?"
"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."
You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."
"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. But—"
He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "—it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."
You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words.
"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you.
"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."
Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be.
"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."
You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"
He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest.
"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you could—for yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."
You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying you…but you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to try—even if the unknown outcome fails you.
With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."
"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"
You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."
"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."
The knocking at Jungwon’s door comes at the worst possible moment.
He’s halfway through organizing his desk—something he only attempts when he’s too frustrated to sit still—and the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasn’t slept a millisecond all night.
Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood.
"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant.
“What do you want?” Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesn’t care.
Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."
Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"
He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night.
"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh.
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."
"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. I—God, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."
Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."
Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one.
"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."
Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean to—"
"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."
"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and I—I can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."
Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."
Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both.
"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And I—I panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."
Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else now—something softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up.
Because he knows Jake isn't lying.
"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."
Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, “I will. I swear, I will.”
"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you want—it's about what she needs."
Jake swallows hard, nodding again, “I just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her I’m sorry and—”
His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guy—and that his heart is in the right place.
But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever.
"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."
Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"
Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."
Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enough—there's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like it’s his lifeline.
“You know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/N’s not the type to let people in easily. She puts up walls—but with you…she let them down. You’re special to her, Jake, even if she doesn’t say it. Don’t throw that away. For her sake, and yours.”
“I won’t,” Jake promises, his voice steady now. “Thank you, Jungwon.”
Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."
Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."
Jungwon doesn’t respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopes—for all their sakes—that Jake means it.
Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/N Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i don’t blame you at all Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space and just show up at your door Jake [5:14PM]: even though it’s killing me to stay away Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, there’s nothing between us. there hasn’t been for a long time. and it’s my fault for making it seem otherwise. Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i acted…i don’t even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much. Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i don’t deserve it, and i don’t deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, i’ll do everything to make it up to you.
You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them away—the sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret.
You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions.
And yet, you can't stop.
You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignore—a small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth.
You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you.
The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth?
But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before?
And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."
Your breath catches.
Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybe—just maybe—Jake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truth—and you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through.
Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe.
Fear. Hope. Doubt.
And something else—something you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real.
And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chest—it's something that's pulling you forward.
Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope.
So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead.
You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff.
You hit send.
Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jake Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come over
The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know it’s coming.
“Y/N?”
His voice. Jake’s voice.
Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused it—that the cracks in your heart are his doing—but at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them.
You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is.
"Hi," Jake says softly.
He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened mess—his hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the other—
"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise.
Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I got—"
You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquet—daisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper.
"—a little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile.
Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything.
"Jake, you're literally allergic."
His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks.
"Well, yeah, but—," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "—not, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."
He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."
You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at him—at the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure.
You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider.
"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."
Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next.
You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before.
"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourself—though the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible.
Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."
You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."
Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that.
"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."
Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes.
"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."
His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly.
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of it—for making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N."
His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place.
For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away though—his gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw.
As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely.
When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."
"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."
Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heart—sharp and bitter—but his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored.
That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him in—not just for his sake, but for you.
You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."
You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."
Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"
"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you."
His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.
"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."
"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."
You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerity—so hopeful and so real—the kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again.
So you do.
"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word.
Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively.
"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face.
You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip.
"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."
Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."
You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back.
"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare.
Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away.
Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trusting—knowing—he'll catch you.
"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."
You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely.
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace.
It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all.
But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start.
And a start is all you need.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
epilogue:
“Hi, pretty.”
“Hi, Jake.”
On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar pout—the one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.
“After all we’ve been through, you still won’t give me a cute pet name?”
You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, “What do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?”
Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes."
Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.”
He clutches his chest dramatically, “You know, what? You’re my struggle—I fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still won’t give me a crumb of your affection?”
“You’re exhausting.”
“And yet…,” Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.”
Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Don’t' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."
Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."
You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back then—like you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real.
"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground.
"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."
You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."
Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit it—you miss me."
You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."
His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silence—the kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well.
Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear.
"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words.
"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?"
"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice.
“Sleep tight. I love you,” his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word.
“Goodnight, Jakey,” you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction.
Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, “Y/N…not this again.”
You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his face—the slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you.
“I said I love youuu,” he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes.
Finally, you give in, smiling sweetly.
“I love you, too, Jake. You already know.”
And you’ve never meant anything more.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Songs that Remind me of Y/N:
From the first call to forever—you've always been my favorite melody. Yours, Jake <3
"As I Am" – Justin Bieber (ft. Khalid)
"Daylight" – Taylor Swift
"DIE 4 YOU" - Dean
"Psycho, Pt. 2" – Russ
"Heaven" – Bazzi
"Every Kind of Way" – H.E.R.
"Off My Face" – Justin Bieber
"Before You" – Benson Boone
"Sunflower" – Post Malone & Swae Lee
"Pink + White" – Frank Ocean
"No Doubt" – Enhypen <3
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡
p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretation—hence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !!
<3, addie
m.list here!
tag list (love you all <3):
(i hope it let me tag everyone!)
@thesassy-mia @ikeulove @renaishun @xylatox @puma-riki @blackberryrains @dreamiestay @junislqve @lamin143 @dreamy-carat @etherealhan @vvenusoncasual @belovedsthings @somuchdard @sumzysworld @mirouie @almondtofu006 @fancypeacepersona @vivimura @hollxe1 @missthang600 @sugarikiz @sanasour @enhamonsterghoul @etherealriki
HAIRDYE
𝒊𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗗 .. ❛ 𝖽𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽’𝗌 𝗁𝖺𝗂𝗋 , 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝖺𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗎𝗌𝗍𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾
𝑜𝑓 · 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⦂ bf! nmr x gf! reader── && fluff + none ❔ 𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖯 & 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖤𝖲
◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞ : for my 3ki ( @elysianiki @kairoot @nshmuras ) because i’m having 3ki withdrawals .. also becausssse.. riki [heart eyes] 🎀
“you know ki… that’s why hair salons exist.” you placed the gloves on your hands, a stroke of fear instantly hitting you.
you never dyed your hair on your own, now your boyfriend was trusting you with his hair? you were afraid of ruining it, the color not coming out the way he had planned. you carefully poured the blue—black mixture into your hand, before gently placing it on his hair.
“this feels illegal…” you began to rub the dye into his blonde hair, the mixture instantly covering the clear thin glove.
“relax baby, it’s okay.” riki reassured you, a oversized towel draped over his shoulders as he sat in front of you.
“wonder why you asked me to do this..” you asked him, continuing to coat his hair in the deep, dark substance.
riki laughed, his head going back down to the switch console in his lap. “i trust you more, way more than a stranger.” he resumes to playing his game.
you roll your eyes playfully, your cheeks getting warm suddenly. “flattery won’t get you anywhere, my love. you tease him, spreading more of the dark substance in his damped hair.
“it won’t.”riki laughed. “you’re good at this you know.”
the sincerity of his voice caught you off guard, before you could form a response, he crinkled his nose. “hairdye smells awful.”
“there’s the riki i fell for.” you muttered. “now stay still before i get hairdye on something that doesn’t need it.”
riki laughed, but remained still. he watched you through the mirror in front of the couch, as you carefully parted his hair. “thanks for doing this by the way..” he spoke, his voice mode quieter.
you glanced at him through the mirror. “you owe me boba. next week okay?” you smiled, finishing up the last round of hairdye.
“deal.” riki got up, pulling you up with him. “if i’m getting you boba you need to help me wash, okay?”
“deal” you removed your gloves. “and if i’m helping you wash your hair, you’re letting me sit on your lap while we play fortnite.”
“deal, pretty.” he grinned, pulling you close to him by your waist.
── .✦ WORTH THE WAIT (l hs)
PAIRING: non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS: you thought transferring to a new high school for senior year would be a nightmare. who knew you would end up with a genuine group of friends and a boy in need of finding himself again?
GENRE: i hate everyone but you , grumpy x sunshine , high school au , angst if you squint , comfort , healing , fluff — WC: 9.2k — TW: swearing , mention of family issues and toxic behaviors , brief mention of alcohol and violence , slightly suggestive , skinship — enhypen members all have the same age , english is not my first language ! , this is a work of fiction and doesn’t reflect the idols in real life ! — library! — perm taglist open !
a/n: a little something i made a while ago 🤭🤭 hope you enjoy!!
────
HIGH SCHOOL WAS ALREADY PRETTY CHALLENGING AS IT WAS, BUT BEING THE NEW KID IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR WAS EVEN WORSE.
People already knew each other, and they had their own friends and routines. That’s why you hadn’t been expecting much from this last year. However, you were quickly proven wrong when Kim Sunoo—the friendliest and most cheerful student in your grade—was assigned to give you a tour of the school. He showed you every single angle inside and outside the building and pointed out the people you should stay away from at all costs and never, ever trust, unconsciously making you feel even more nervous.
At one point in your tour, you bumped into Yang Jungwon—the student council president—who warmly introduced himself and invited you to sit with his and Sunoo’s friend group. You were hesitant at first. You didn’t want to look like an intruder or be pitied as the new kid who would end up with no friends throughout her senior year. You could already imagine their awkward smiles and weak attempts at getting to know you. Not only that, but you were already overthinking the aftermath: you were sure it would be a one-time thing, that after your first day, they wouldn’t invite you again, making up flimsy excuses to avoid any future awkward encounter with you.
When you sat at their table, five boys were curiously staring at you. Jay, Jake, Ni-Ki, and Sunghoon happily greeted you, while the one called Heeseung merely glanced your way, an unreadable expression on his face. But other than that, the rest of the guys tried their best to make you feel at ease, cracking lots of jokes while also getting to know you.
You were pleasantly surprised; that was definitely the last thing you had been expecting. In all the case scenarios you had overthought in your mind, there hadn’t been a single positive one. You had been so negative and convinced that they wouldn’t like you, that you didn’t consider they might actually want to be friends with you.
And now there you were, a few months later, laughing with your new group of friends, sharing notes, and going to watch each other’s sports competitions. After that first lunch together, you and the other boys were already inseparable. All of them, except one: Lee Heeseung.
You weren’t sure what his problem was. He just didn’t seem to like you—or anyone else for that matter—except for the boys. He always had a stoic look on his face and glared at whoever tried to get near him. He was really quiet and would only talk with his friends. From what you had heard around, a lot of girls seemed to swoon over him, but no one would ever dare approach him because of how intimidating he looked. And you had to admit that they had a point: Heeseung was indeed very good-looking, probably one of the most attractive guys you had ever seen; yet, a death glare from him was enough to send chills down your spine.
Jay and Jake, his closest friends, reassured you from day one about his behavior: “Don’t worry, it’s not your fault. He acts like that with everybody. He’s just… been going through a lot, you know? He hasn’t always been like this, I think he just needs some time.” And also: “Yeah, so don’t take it personally. But if I can ask you a favor, please don’t act differently with him. Just be yourself, even if he doesn’t give you a reaction. I promise he will warm up to you, too.” And that’s what you did. You always greeted him and would sometimes ask him how he was doing or school-related questions. His responses were always short and dry, but at least he would answer and look at you with a less stoic expression. To be completely honest, you weren’t too confident about him ever warming up to you, but you kept trying, your friends’ words often echoing in your mind.
Little did you know, things were about to change completely.
────
WHEN YOUR HISTORY TEACHER ASKED YOU TO MEET HER AFTER SCHOOL, YOU CERTAINLY WEREN’T EXPECTING TO END UP SITTING IN FRONT OF HER DESK, NEXT TO NONE OTHER THAN LEE HEESEUNG.
“I’ll keep it short, since Heeseung is well aware of the reason we’re here,” Mrs. Kim broke the tense silence. “___, since you’re the best student in my class, I was hoping you could be his tutor.”
Your head snapped to your right, catching a glimpse of tension in his features, but it was quickly replaced by his usual indifferent demeanor.
“It won’t be for long, just enough to reach an average score, at the very least,” she added, sensing your hesitation.
Her look was hopeful, and you knew how much she trusted you. You didn’t want to disappoint her or refuse, even if the idea of working with Heeseung—out of all people—didn’t exactly put you at ease.
“Alright, if you think I could be helpful, then I guess I can give it a try,” you finally agreed, causing your teacher to break into a bright smile.
“Perfect!” she clapped her hands. “Then it’s settled. Heeseung, I’m counting on your collaboration,” she warned him, and he barely nodded in response.
You and Heeseung were the only ones still walking through the school hallways, the silence between you two so awkward and heavy with tension that you started to physically feel the need to end it.
“So, when are you free to meet up?” you tried asking, but received a blank stare in return. “Okay… well, let me know, I guess…” you trailed off, and grimaced bashfully. “Have a nice day…” you mumbled, eager to escape the awkwardness of the situation.
Once you were outside the building, you finally let out a relieved breath and started second-guessing your decision. How were you supposed to tutor him if he wouldn’t even talk to you? However, later that day, you were caught off guard by a message notification.
hi, this is heeseung. i asked sunoo for your number
i’m free every friday after practice, but if we need more days i’ll find another one i guess
hi, heeseung! friday is perfect! i think we can start with only one day and eventually add another one if you need it. let’s meet in the library?
👍🏻 i’ll be there after 4pm
great! have a nice evening :)
read
Friday arrived in an instant, and while you waited at one of the library’s tables, you couldn’t help but fidget with your hands. How was it going to go? Would he even show up? Was he going to collaborate? All your worries were soon interrupted by the sound of quick footsteps approaching. As you raised your head, your gaze immediately landed on Heeseung’s figure confidently strolling toward you. There was something in the way he carried himself that made him so attractive and eye-catching. Plus, the fact that his hair was still damp—probably because he had just showered after practice—made you acutely self-aware of how you were reacting to the sight of him.
He silently sat down in front of you and greeted you with a small nod, while you offered him a small smile.
“So, what do you need help with the most?” you asked, opening your textbook while he fished his out of his bag.
“I don’t know. Maybe the last stuff,” he mumbled, keeping his eyes glued on the pages.
You took a deep breath but did as he asked, starting to summarize the last topic that Mrs. Kim had explained in class, while Heeseung kept blankly staring at you. You could feel his eyes glued on you, making you self-conscious and a little flustered. Glancing up at him a couple of times, you noticed he looked like he wasn’t even listening to you. After a few more minutes, you couldn’t take it anymore. You suddenly stopped speaking, raising your head swiftly to make direct eye contact with him. He tried to hide it, but you still caught the flicker of surprise in his eyes. It lasted a mere second, but it was there.
“Is there something wrong?” you asked bluntly, irritation starting to bubble up in your chest.
“Nope,” he muttered, averting his gaze.
“Then why do you keep staring at me while you’re clearly not listening to a single word I'm saying?” you raised a brow, your patience running thin.
“I’m not staring at you…” he mumbled, his eyes traveling around the room to avoid yours.
“Are you messing with me?” you questioned honestly, a frown forming on your face.
And why in the world was he finding it almost cute?
“No?” he scoffed, finally making eye contact, while the softer glint in his gaze caught you off guard. “Uhm… I just don’t understand half of the things you’re talking about…” he scratched the back of his neck and diverted his stare once again.
At that moment, Heeseung truly wished he could disappear to avoid the wave of embarrassment he had caused himself. He was too proud to admit that he needed help—let alone that he didn’t know anything about the subject. He was afraid of looking dumb in your eyes—even though he knew you probably didn’t think highly of him anyway—and that you would judge and belittle him. After all, that’s what he was used to hearing every single day. How could it ever be different with you? But what he was not aware of—because he had never made an effort to get to know you—was that you were the complete opposite of what his mind had convinced him you were. And your response proved it.
“Oh, you could have interrupted me! Do you maybe want to tell me the topics you do know? So we can start from there,” you suggested, tentatively but still with a soft tone.
Your kindness caught him off guard for a moment, making him wonder why you were being so nice despite how cold he’d always been. That wasn’t how things were supposed to go, not according to what his mind had prepared him for. You were supposed to laugh at him, get mad, yell even, and tell him loud and clear how stupid and hopeless he was. The sound of your voice calling his name snapped him out of his thoughts, making him realize that he still hadn’t answered you.
“Oh, uhm… yeah. Okay,” he quickly nodded.
That day, you two had the longest conversation you’d ever had in the last few months—even though it was about wars and past governments.
────
YOU AND HEESEUNG INEVITABLY STARTED TO SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER, MEETING TWICE A WEEK FOR HIS TUTORING SESSIONS.
You weren’t expecting to magically form a friendship with him—you knew that wouldn’t be so easy. But still, you had noticed subtle changes in his behavior. For example, he started greeting you with an actual ‘hello’ instead of his usual nod. He would crack a small smile when you told jokes to ease the boring studying; and he would give you a small wave when crossing paths in the hallways.
To most people, these gestures would be considered completely normal. But for you—knowing how Heeseung used to be—they meant a lot more. And of course, your friends started to notice these changes too, and they were quick to question you.
“So, what’s the deal between you and Hee? Are you finally friends?” Jungwon was the first to bring up the topic during lunch.
“No, not really. But at least he doesn’t ignore me anymore. I think we’re getting a bit more familiar, but that’s about it,” you shrugged casually.
“Nothing else?” Sunoo mischievously wiggled his eyebrows, making you scoff and playfully roll your eyes.
“Nope. And I think you should watch fewer K-dramas. I’m saying this for your own good, really,” you teased with a smile.
“But seriously, that would make so much sense! I’m already envisioning the ‘grumpy x sunshine’ trope with you two. It would be so cute!” he clapped his hands in excitement.
“I think it’s a little too soon for that, but who knows? I don’t despise the idea, either,” Jake chimed in.
“Anyways, as you know, Heeseung is at home with the flu. Why don’t you go visit him?” Ni-Ki was quick to change the subject.
“What? Why me?” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion.
Now, there was a tiny, little, minuscule detail you weren’t aware of. A few days before, the guys had had the same exact conversation with Heeseung, but the outcome had been surprising, to say the least. He pretty much said the same things as you—maybe a little drier—but what his long-standing friends were able to catch was how his ears turned a deep shade of red the moment you were mentioned, and the way he avoided eye contact with everybody for the entire conversation. And if that was normal behavior for him when interacting with other people, it certainly wasn’t with his group of friends. So, after picking up on these little hints, the guys concluded that Heeseung was most definitely developing a crush on you—and he probably wasn’t even aware of it himself yet. And that’s why Ni-Ki had made that suggestion.
“Because in this way, you can pass him your notes. Yours are way better than all of ours. Plus, it’s your chance to talk about the tutoring,” Jungwon was quick to intervene, hoping he was being convincing enough.
“Can’t I just leave them with you, and you’ll give them to him?” you reasoned.
“No!” Jake blurted out, making you flinch at the suddenness. “I mean, we can’t, because we all have training, you know?”
“But you—” you tried to protest, not fully convinced by their reasons.
“Just do us this favor, please! I’ll buy you ice cream tomorrow after school, deal?” Sunghoon cut you off, making you perk up at the proposition.
“Okay, deal. You know I can’t say no to free food,” you huffed, making the others cheer.
────
AND SO THAT’S HOW YOU ENDED UP STANDING IN FRONT OF HEESEUNG’S DOOR.
Were you supposed to ring the doorbell? What if he was sleeping? Or his parents were home? You would have sent him a text—if only your phone hadn’t run out of battery.
“Excuse me, do you need help?” a voice startled you from behind, cutting off your train of thought. Spinning around, you came face-to-face with a guy who looked a few years older than you—probably a college student.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was about to ring the doorbell. I’m here for Heeseung,” you explained.
At the mention of the name, the stranger’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Heeseung? He’s sick right now… Wait, are you two friends or something?”
“Uh, not really. We’re classmates, but his friends are my friends too. I’m just here to drop off my notes for him,” you clarified.
“Oh, I see. Then, come on in!” He gave you a friendly smile and stepped aside to let you in. “Oh, right—I didn’t introduce myself! I’m Heeseung’s brother,” he added, showing you into the house.
“I’ll get him for you. He’s probably resting in his room.”
“Wait—I can leave the notes with you if you prefer. I don’t want to bother him if he’s not feeling well,” you suggested, feeling a pang of guilt at the thought of disrupting his sleep.
“Don’t worry; he’ll be happy to see you. I haven’t seen him with anyone who wasn’t one of the boys in a very long time…” he mumbled more to himself, but loud enough for you to catch. “Anyway, I’ll be right back!” He then jogged up the stairs, leaving you confused and alone in the living room.
As you waited awkwardly, you let your eyes wander around the space. The interior design looked modern and minimalistic, in shades of white and gray. It sure was aesthetically pleasing, giving the idea of something well-thought-out. Yet, it felt cold and somewhat impersonal. One thing you could immediately notice was the absence of any family portraits or personal items, although they could have been in another part of the house. After all, you didn’t know much about Heeseung’s life.
“Hey, ___! You can come upstairs!” His brother’s voice echoed down the stairs.
You found him standing by an open door. Inside, you could see Heeseung sitting up on his bed with his back against the headboard. He was wearing a gray hoodie, his hair was tousled, and he looked much paler than usual. But somehow, he still managed to look effortlessly good.
“Hi,” you greeted with a small smile, to which he replied with one of his usual nods.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, his voice low and hoarse.
“The guys asked me to bring you my notes since they were too busy to do it themselves,” you explained, setting them down on his desk.
“Oh. Thanks,” he murmured.
“How are you feeling?” you asked with genuine concern.
“I’m already feeling better. It’s not that bad. I think I’ll be fine in a couple of days.”
“That’s good to hear,” you smiled in relief. “Well, I think I’ll head home then. I don’t want to disturb your rest any longer.”
Somehow, Heeseung didn’t like the thought of you leaving. Having you there with him made him feel a lot calmer and at ease.
“Wait!” He blurted out. “You can… stay for a while. If you want?”
“Uhm, yeah. Of course,” you nodded in surprise, feeling heat creeping up on your face.
You sat down in his desk chair and let your curiosity wander around his room. It was very minimalistic, and a bit empty, but with a personal touch—like a shelf of vinyl records you recognized, a gaming setup, and a collection of mechanical keyboards. But what you didn’t expect to see was a digital piano in one corner of the room.
“You play?” you asked, amazed, nodding toward the instrument.
He followed your gaze and smiled faintly. “Yeah. I’ve been playing since I was a kid. Do you play any instruments?”
His sudden openness threw you off for a second, but you quickly recovered and shook your head. “No, but I wish I could. I think it’s so cool.”
He was about to say something else when the sound of the front door slamming shut and of two people arguing made the both of you jump in fright. You soon made out the voices to be of a male and a female, probably his parents. Suddenly, you felt out of place and like you were intruding on something too private. You glanced at Heeseung and noticed how his expression had turned somber and his jaw had clenched. You could sense his discomfort, and that somehow made your heart ache. You didn’t know how to manage the situation, and the noise downstairs was only getting louder. That was until an idea popped up in your head.
“I saw you have some The Weeknd vinyls,” you pointed out, your voice breaking the tense silence.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. He’s one of my favorite artists,” he nodded, distracted.
“Mine too! Have you listened to his new album, yet? It just came out.”
“No, I haven’t had enough time. And then I got sick and completely forgot about it,” he sighed, then flinched when he heard his father’s voice increasing in volume.
“Why don’t we listen to it right now?” you suggested, offering him a genuine smile.
And he could sense it, all the sincerity in your words. There was no pity in your eyes—only concern and warmth. And that startled him. Because why were you being so kind and considerate when he had barely treated you like a friend?
There was a moment of silence between you two, in which you communicated with your eyes. His were expressing remorse, shame, and embarrassment, but also something more intimate. Something like a plea, a cry for help. Yours were trying to tell him that it was okay, that you were there, and that it wasn’t his fault. He was feeling too much, too overwhelmed and vulnerable under your compassionate gaze. He was sure that if he had tried to talk, his emotions would have betrayed him, making his voice shake. So he opted for vigorously nodding his head.
“My phone’s dead, though,” you admitted sheepishly.
He chuckled, causing you to almost loose your breath. It was the first time you’d seen him truly smile with you, not just his friends. And for some reason, it made you feel special.
“I’ll use mine. Come sit,” he patted the spot next to him.
And so, that’s how you spent the rest of the afternoon—listening to your favorite artist, while the bond between you two took a new turn.
────
HEESEUNG WASN’T OKAY, AND YOU COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHY.
Over the past week, you noticed how his behavior abruptly shifted, going back to his cold and distant self. He started ignoring you, and ditching your tutoring session without even letting you know beforehand. If this had happened when you first met him, you wouldn’t have thought much about it. But after the past few weeks, where you had the opportunity to see a glimpse of who Lee Heeseung truly was—you couldn’t ignore it and pretend it was fine.
So, you tried asking your friends, but they were as clueless as you. Or so they pretended to be. You could sense they were hiding something from you, and you were determined to find it out.
“Is it maybe… because of his family?” you to let out hesitantly.
“Huh?! You know about it?!” Jake was the first one to jump at your question, pure bewilderment on his face.
“Wait—what? When? How? Did he willingly tell you?” it was now Jay’s turn to be shocked.
“How long have you known?” Jungwon questioned instead.
“What’s with these reactions?” you chuckled nervously. “Is it that crazy that I know about it?”
“Nobody has ever known outside of us. And even in our case, it took years before he told us.” Sunoo explained.
“So, how did you find out? And when?” Sunghoon pressed, eager to know the details.
“Well, he definitely didn’t tell me willingly… it was the day I went to visit him while he was sick—when you guys asked me to bring him my notes. I met his brother, by the way, and he showed me to Heeseung’s room. But after a few minutes, his parents came home and… well, I think you can imagine the rest.”
There was a moment of tense silence, before Jay finally spoke up again. “And what did you do after that?”
“I offered to listen to the new The Weeknd’s album with him since I saw he had one of his vinyls on the shelf. You know… the whole situation was pretty uncomfortable, and I just wanted to help.”
“That’s what happened, then. That’s why your friendship seemed to develop out of the blue.” Sunghoon pointed out.
“Yeah, I guess so. But now, are you going to tell me what’s going on with him?”
At first, no one dared to speak, and you could see the hesitation all over their faces. It was Jungwon to finally find the courage to spit it out. “His parents are getting a divorce.”
After school, you decided to head to the convenience store near your neighborhood, and went straight to your favorite aisle: ramyeon. You were scanning the different packages, pondering over which one you were craving the most, when you noticed a figure stopping dead in their tracks. You turned towards the person, and your gaze met a very familiar one.
“Hee?” you whispered, your eyebrows raised in surprise and your eyes flashing with recognition and longing, throwing him off guard.
He didn’t move and didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at you with an unreadable look. But you could still see the fatigue and sadness in his features. His eyes looked almost empty, the dark circles underneath them a clear proof of how little he must have been sleeping, and they didn’t have that particular spark you had recently started to get used to.
“I—” he tried to mumble something, but the words died down in his throat.
He couldn’t understand what was happening to him, why his body was reacting that way upon seeing you. He felt paralyzed, and a sudden urge to cry. Plus, the way you were looking at him—so soft and caring—made him want to run away, and at the same time, to clutch to you like you were his lifeline.
“Are you busy?” You broke the silence. “I was about to buy some ramyeon, wanna join me?”
Your smile was so genuine and full of affection that he couldn’t bring himself to refuse. So he just nodded his head, still unable to properly talk, and slowly approached you. You ate in a comfortable silence at one of the convenience store’s tables, until Heeseung finally found the courage to break it.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his eyes still fixed on his food.
“It’s alright,” you smiled reassuringly, although he wasn’t able to see it.
“It’s really not,” he let out a deep breath, head hanging low.
“I know, but it will be,” you reached out to place a hand on his arm, but only for a few seconds, afraid it would make him uncomfortable.
Little did you know, your fleeting touch set his heart on fire and made him crave more. Then, realization hit him.
“You know…” he barely let out.
“I guess I do…” you admitted carefully. Seeing his muscles tense, you quickly felt the need to reassure him. “Look, I’m not going to beg you to talk to me or open up. I just want to be there for you, even if we’ll end up in silence like this. Just… don’t shut me out, please,” your voice gradually dropping.
He stayed quiet for a long moment, trying to process your words. “Okay… I promise.” he finally looked you in the eyes. “Also, I’m sorry for skipping the last few days of tutoring without saying anything… we could go to my place after this and study for a bit. If you are free…”
“Are you sure?” you double-checked, a hint of surprise in your voice.
“Yeah, I owe you.” he nodded with resolution.
“You don’t owe me anything, silly. But if you insist, then let’s do it!” you grinned, successfully causing a small tug at the corner of his lips.
────
AS SOON AS YOU STEPPED INTO HEESEUNG’S HOUSE, YOU WERE GREETED BY THE SIGHT OF HIS PARENTS ANGRILY STARING AT THE BOTH OF YOU.
“Oh, so that’s what you’ve been up to? Messing around while you let your grades drop and make us worry where you disappear to all day?!” his mother snapped at him, sending a disgusted look at your way in the process.
“Please, not now,” he lowly mumbled, only fueling their nervousness.
“Not now?” It was now his father’s turn to spit venom to his son. “Then when? When it’s too late, and you’ll be a high school drop out? We told you, we don’t want a failure in our house!”
You immediately glanced at Heeseung out of concern, but his expression was unreadable.
“Why did you bring a girl home anyway? Thought we wouldn’t be here?” the woman humorlessly chuckled.
“We’re here to study…” Heeseung mumbled in embarrassment, his gaze fixed on the ground.
“Study? With a girl? Seriously, do you think we’re stupid?” the man took a few steps forward, his gaze dark with pure resentment.
You immediately took ahold of Heeseung’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. And he squeezed back even harder.
“Yeah, you’re right. We didn’t actually want to study, so we’ll leave now,” he let out in defeat, dragging you out of the house and leaving behind his parents’ yelling.
The two of you roamed the streets in complete silence, letting the cool evening air hit you. It wasn’t long until you realized you were nearing your neighborhood.
“Wanna crash at mine tonight?” you broke the silence, turning your head to the side to look at him.
“I can’t…” he shook his head.
“Why not?”
“What about your parents?” his eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“My dad’s super chill. He’ll understand, don’t worry,” you smiled reassuringly, squeezing his hand once again.
“Okay…” he finally gave in, stroking his thumb against your knuckles.
“I’m home!” you called out, closing your front door behind you and gesturing for Heeseung to follow you.
“Sweetheart, why did it take you so long? I was starting to—“ your father’s voice trailed off as he took notice of the boy standing awkwardly next to you. “And who is this?” he asked with curiosity.
“This is my friend, Heeseung. The one I’ve been tutoring, remember?” you explained, and Heeseung tried to hide his surprise upon hearing that you had mentioned him before to your dad.
“Ohh, right! Nice to meet you!” The man grinned at Heeseung, catching him off guard. “Are you joining us for dinner?”
He hesitated, but you were quick to explain the situation on his behalf. “Actually, I wanted to ask if he could spend the night here. It’s because of… some serious personal stuff going on.”
“You want a boy to stay over?” your dad squinted in suspicion at the both of you, but there was no harshness in his tone.
“I’m really sorry to bother you, sir,” the boy was quick to apologize, slowly getting flustered. “I completely understand if you don’t want me to. I can find another place to go—“
“Let me ask you one thing, Heeseung,” your father smiled calmly.
“Of course, sir,” he nodded solemnly, almost holding his breath in anticipation.
“Are you perhaps my daughter’s… how do they call it now… Oh, right! Are you in a ‘situationship’ with my ___?” the man bluntly questioned with an amused look, making the two of you almost choke on your own saliva.
“Dad?!” you exclaimed, flustered, perfectly knowing he was trying to mess with the two of you.
“No, sir!” Heeseung was quick to clarify, the tip of his ears turning crimson. “We’re just friends. We hang out with the same group of people, that’s it.”
Your dad knowingly smirked at your reactions, and nodded in satisfaction. “Good. Well, what are you waiting for, ___? Show him the guest room!”
“Really?! Thank you so much, dad!” your eyes lighted up, and you rushed over to give him a quick hug.
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved her off, sending Heeseung a sly wink.
During dinner, your father asked Heeseung a few casual questions, just to get to know him a little better, and then, decided to give you some privacy. From the living room, he stopped a few minutes to observe the two of you—like how you spoke to and looked at one another. It was all clear to him. You were the only clueless ones. That’s why, when you left to the bathroom, the man used it as an opportunity to talk more sincerely to your friend.
“You look exhausted, boy. Have you been sleeping properly?” He showed genuine concern, something Heeseung hadn’t felt in a long time.
“Not really. Recently, it’s been rough at home…” he decided to open up, feeling as at ease as he would usually be in your presence.
“I’m really sorry to hear that. Is there something I can do to help you?” he offered with sincerity, making Heeseung heart swell.
“This is all I need right now. Just… having someone who cares and worries about me,” he lowered his head, feeling vulnerable for saying it out loud.
“You know, my ___ is so precious to me, she’s all I have left. But I wouldn’t mind helping someone else out, what do you think?” he chuckled lightly, patting the guy’s shoulder in affection. “Pretend I never told you this, but ___ talks a lot about you. I remember when she would complain about you ignoring her, and then it all shifted to her coming home saying how worried she was and wondering what she could do to make you feel better. She really cares about you.”
“I care a lot, too…” he mumbled, a bit embarrassed.
“So… you like her, right?” the man lightly smirked, causing Heeseung to panic.
“What? No! I swear we’re just friends…” he tried to deny it, but his completely flustered state betrayed him.
“Don’t lie to me, boy,” he chuckled I amusement. “I have enough experience to know the difference between a love-struck look and a platonic one.” Then his tone softened, and turned serious. “It’s okay if you do. I approve of you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“It’s not that… I mean, thank you for trusting me,” he let out a shy laugh. “But… I’m not sure, yet. I’m dealing with a lot right now, and my emotions are all over the place. That’s why I’m keeping my distance—romantically speaking. I don’t want to involuntarily hurt her. So I’ll stay as a friend, and with time I hope I’ll be able to figure it all out.”
“I understand. Take your time, son. You’re a good guy, I hope things will get better soon.”
“Thank you, it means a lot,” Heeseung nodded, his voice full of gratitude.
────
YOU WERE READY TO GO TO BED, ALREADY TUCKED IN YOUR WARM COVERS, WHEN YOU SUDDENLY HEARD A SOFT KNOCK AT YOUR BEDROOM DOOR.
“Come in,” you called out.
Heeseung stood awkwardly by the door, fidgeting with his hands.
“Hee, what are you doing here?” you whispered softly, sitting up.
“Sorry… did I wake you?” he asked quietly, and you could see the distress on his features.
“No, you didn’t. Is something wrong?”
“I can’t sleep… sorry, it sounds so stupid. I didn’t mean to bother you, I’ll just go—" he started to ramble, already taking a step back.
“Stay,” you quickly interrupted him.
“Huh?”
“Come here.” You patted the empty space next to you on the bed.
He hesitated at first, but he soon found himself adjusting under your covers with his back pressed on the headboard.
“What’s wrong, Hee?” you turned to face him, observing his side profile.
Before he could even process it, a few tears fell from his doe eyes, followed by many more, until he was shaken by uncontrollable sobs. He quickly covered his face with his hands, feeling too ashamed. You were caught off guard, but instinctively wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close. You then moved his head to rest on your chest, and delicately combed your hand through his hair. You let him pour everything out, while he clutched your waist as if you could disappear at any moment.
When he calmed down and finally lifted his head, he tried to avoid your gaze at all costs. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—"
“Why are you apologizing? Are you feeling a bit better now?” you slowly raised a hand to his face, drying the last few tears with your thumb.
“Yeah, but I wet your shirt,” he mumbled in embarrassment, causing you to chuckle endearingly, and brush his hair back.
“You can cry on me anytime, Hee,” you replied with honesty.
He stopped to think for a second, and wondered what he had done to deserve someone like you in his life. “Why have you always been so nice to me?” He blurted out, unable to wrap his head around it. “Even when I barely spoke to you?”
You smiled, subconsciously shifting closer. “Because I knew there was more to you than what you were showing. An example was seeing you with your friends: you are a completely different person with them.”
Heeseung’s cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”
“Stop apologizing,” you shook your head.
“I can’t, I feel like everything is my fault… always,” he barely whispered, his eyes turning sad and making your heart ache.
“It’s not your fault,” you stated firmly. “Like it’s not true that you are a failure, or that you’ll become one. It’s not academics that make you a better person, but what you carry inside. And after getting to know you, I can confidently say that you’re an amazing person. And a great friend, too.”
“You don’t have to say it just to make me feel better…” he tried to deflect your kind words.
“You’re considerate. You always show how much you care about your friends through your gestures. You’re pure—your intention and your thoughts have no malice, ever. You are passionate and so talented in basketball and music, I’m always left speechless when I see you in your element. I always find your presence comforting, and I feel at ease with you. But most importantly, you make people feel safe, Heeseung. That’s one of the best qualities to have.”
Upon hearing your words, he swore his heart was about to burst out of his rib cage, and he could feel tears pricking at his eyes. Without thinking, he pulled you in a tight embrace, shifting your body to lay on top of his.
“You’re unbelievable,” he whispered in your ear, his warm breath sending goosebumps through your back.
“I’m just telling the truth,” you whispered back.
“Thank you, you’re an angel.”
You chuckled, and left a small kiss on his temple.
“Can I stay here for a little longer?”
“As long as you want.”
────
“DUDE, YOU HAVE TO SHOOT YOUR SHOT AFTER THIS,” JAY’S EXCITED VOICE RANG THROUGH THE LIVING ROOM.
Heeseung’s friends were all gathered at his apartment for a movie night. While waiting for you to arrive—since you were stuck in traffic—they had successfully pressured Heeseung into spilling what they’d been dying to hear all along.
“Like, you slept together and even met her dad?!?!” Sunoo repeated with wide eyes.
“Not together, just in the same bed,” Heeseung tried to explain, but his friends were way too excited to hear what he was saying.
“On a serious note, though, you have a huge chance with her. If you like her, go for it,” Jay honestly advised.
“Starting tonight,” Jungwon added, a sly glint in his eyes. “Sit next to her, and when the time’s right, just start cuddling.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“I’m not going to do that,” Heeseung chocked out, the tips of his ears turning bright red.
“Why not?” Ni-Ki teased. “Are you shy?”
“I mean… the last girl I dated turned out to be one of my worst nightmares. And I don’t know what I truly feel. I don’t want to lead her on,” Heeseung confessed honestly.
“First of all, ___ is not your ex—that girl was truly insane,” Jungwon replied promptly.
“And what do you mean you don’t know how you feel? Bro, you talk nonstop about her,” Jake added with an exasperated sigh, followed suit by Sunghoon. “And you look at her like a lovesick puppy. Seriously, you make me nauseous sometimes.”
Heeseung bashfully cleared his throat, struggling to defend himself, but before he could reply, the sound of the doorbell saved him from further teasing.
There you were, making your entrance with your usual bright smile lighting up the whole room. Heeseung’s heart skipped a beat as he watched you greet everyone, and side hug Ni-Ki. They all knew Ni-Ki was your favorite—you adored him like a little brother.
Then, your attention finally shifted to Heeseung, and he could swear your smile got even wider. You waved, but your brows instantly furrowed in concern the moment you noticed his flushed cheeks.
“Hey, Hee. You okay? You look really flustered. Are you sick?” you asked, stepping closer with concern etched on your face.
The others exchanged amused glances, while Heeseung’s ears turned even redder.
“Uh.. no, yes—yeah, I’m okay,” Heeseung stammered, overwhelmed by the sight of you, your proximity, your attention solely focused on him, and his friends not-so-quietly snickering in the background.
You moved even closer, stopping only a few centimeters away. “You sure? Let me see—“ You raised your hand and gently placed it on his forehead to check his temperature.
“You’re quite warm,” you stated, locking eyes with him. “Are you sure you’re not sick?”
Heeseung got weak in the knees because of your gaze. He softly grasped your wrist, lowering your hand but not letting it go. You confusedly glanced between him and the others, not knowing what to do.
“Hee?” you called out tentatively, snapping him out of his trance.
“What—oh! I’m sorry,” he muttered, releasing your hand as he scratched the back of his neck out of embarrassment. “I’m fine, just a bit warm from the heater. You know?” He awkwardly chuckled.
You looked at him, unconvinced, but decided to let it slide. “Okay, if you say so…”
You then moved to the couch, where the others were already setting up the snacks and getting the tv ready for the first movie of the night. Heeseung silently followed you and swiftly plopped down on the couch, leaving one last free seat next to him. In his mind, he started praying you would sit right there. And maybe, that night, luck was on his side.
“Can I sit here?” you softly asked, standing in front of him with a bowl of popcorn in your hands.
“Sure, come here,” he smiled, patting the spot next to him.
You nodded, and Heeseung took the bowl from your hands, placing it on his lap.
“Let me hold this, so you can be more comfortable.”
You looked at him with a glint of surprise in your eyes and smiled gratefully. “Oh, sure. Thanks.”
The movie started, and Heeseung tried his best to stay focused on the animations on the screen. Unfortunately, his effort were in vain as soon as his gaze wandered to your focused face. Every time you lightly giggled at something funny, his heart would skip a beat. The same thing happened when you moved slightly in your seat to get more comfortable, your knees and shoulders brushing against his. Since the lights in the living room were turned off, his crimson ears went unnoticed, but his stiff posture didn’t.
You slowly turned toward him, leaning in just enough to whisper in his ear without disturbing the others. “Are you sure you’re okay? You look really tense,” you asked, your voice laced with concern.
Your warm breath fanned on his neck, sending a wave of tingles down his spine. He had to muster all his self-control not to let out a groan of frustration.
He faced you as well, locking eyes. “Yeah… just thinking,” he trailed off, fidgeting with his hands.
“Is it because of… you know?” you tentatively asked, not wanting to bluntly refer to his family issues.
The look he gave you was so full of fondness that your heart skipped a beat. “That… and other stuff,” he admitted. “But don’t worry, having you here next to me makes everything fade away.” He smirked faintly, but you could see the honesty in his eyes.
“Oh yeah?” you chuckled, taken aback. “Then I’m glad to be right here, right now.”
In a bold move, you leaned into his side, resting your head on his shoulder. You sensed his muscles tense for a second before he quickly swung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer and allowing your head to rest on his chest. Then, he began rubbing your arm gently, leaning closer to whisper in your ear.
“I saw you shivering. You could have told me you were cold. I would have cuddled with you earlier.”
You didn’t miss the teasing tone in his voice, and you let out a surprised chuckled. You were pleasantly surprised upon seeing this bolder version of Heeseung.
“Next time I’ll let you know sooner,” you sweetly murmured back, draping an arm around his waist and snuggling closer to his chest.
Being so close—and with your ear pressed against his chest—you could perfectly hear his fast heartbeat. It soothed you and reassured you, since yours was at the same speed.
Unbeknownst to the both of you, your friends had been silently watching your interaction, exchanging amused glances and giggling quietly in near victory. Heeseung was slowly growing more confident, and that was all that mattered to them. Despite their endless teasing, they wanted nothing more than to see their two friends finally happy together.
When the first movie ended—and everyone took it as a chance to take a break—Heeseung delicately removed his arm from around your shoulders, causing you to sit up straight, too.
“___, can I tell you something?” His voice was low, almost hesitant.
You nodded, feeling the sudden nervousness in his tone. You knew Heeseung wasn’t the type to open up easily, so whenever he did, it was always something important.
“Let’s go out to the balcony for a moment, yeah?” he suggested.
“Sure.”
He took your hand and led you to the glass door, stepping into the cool night air.
“I…” Heeseung sighed, looking away from you. “I want to be honest with you. I’m not sure of a lot of things—including my feelings. But whatever it is I feel when I’m with you, it makes me… a little more sure of what it could all mean.” He finally looked at you, his eyes full of uncertainty and rawness. “I care about you. A lot. And I don’t want to ever hurt you.”
Your heart fluttered at his words as you gazed at him with pure adoration, making his knees feel weak.
You took a step closer, the tip of your noses almost brushing against one another. “Heeseung…” you whispered. “You don’t need to have everything figured out right now. I’m happy enough to be with you, however you need me.”
Without thinking, you cupped his cheek and placed a soft kiss—a little too close to the corner of his mouth. Heeseung’s breath itched in his throat, making you faintly smirk up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. His face was flushed, but his gaze held an intensity you had never seen before.
“Don’t be a tease,” he huffed out a laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
In return, you leaned in even closer, so close you could feel his warm breath against your lips. The longer you stayed in that position—your gazes flicking back and forth between each other’s lips and eyes—the quicker his breathing became. His eyes were almost pleading you to do something—anything.
You softly brushed a strand of hair from his face, making him shiver and instinctively close his eyes with a strained sigh. “What do you want, Hee?” you cooed, your voice laced with a playful teasing tone.
As if something finally snapped inside of him, Heeseung firmly yet gently grasped your hips, pulling you flush against his chest. “You’re a menace,” he muttered lowly, his lips too close to yours.
Then your teasing gaze softened as you wrapped your arms loosely around his neck. “Seriously, though. There’s no pressure. Take all the time you need, I’m not going anywhere.”
He smiled, full of gratitude, reaching for your face to stroke it affectionately. “I know. And I really appreciate it. Thank you.”
For a few more minutes, you stayed like that, basking in each other’s presence and feeling the quiet shift in your bond.
However, the peaceful and intimate moment was interrupted by the loud, teasing voice of Sunghoon coming from the glass door. “Lovebirds! The next movie is about to start. Are you coming or what?” He smirked playfully while the others peeked over his shoulders with equally mischievous grins.
“Were you spying on us?” you giggled, unable to be annoyed at them.
“Yes,” Jake nodded without hesitation. “By the way, we saw the way you two were looking at each other,” he wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, making you and Heeseung inevitably flustered.
“Seriously,” Jungwon added with a knowing smirk. “You’re so lovesick it’s almost nauseating. If you’re gonna put us through this, at least do it right and stop being so shy about it.”
Your eyes widened at his boldness. “Hey! Nobody forced you to spy on us!” You exclaimed, playfully pointing an accusatory finger at him.
Next to you, Heeseung was practically frozen, too embarrassed to utter a single word. He leaned closer to your ear, his voice low and uncertain. “I swear, I didn’t mean for them to see…”
You glanced at him, waving him off with a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry about it. They’re just being idiots.”
“Yeah,” he muttered under his breath, while his hand—still resting on your waist—nervously traced imaginary patterns on your hip.
You didn’t mind your friends’ teasing—you knew it was their own way of showing their affection. But you also knew that Heeseung was still not used to being so open about his feelings. You could clearly sense the uneasiness in his stance, and wanted nothing more than to end it for him.
“Guys, I promise we’re just friends, for now. If it changes, you’ll be the first to know. Deal?” you said with a smirk, though you couldn’t hide the warmth on your cheeks.
Jay raised an eyebrow. “For now, huh? Okay, okay. That’s good enough, I guess…” He then winked at Heeseung. “Glad you’re finally stepping up your game, man.”
Heeseung groaned loudly, letting his head fall onto your shoulder to hide his embarrassment. You couldn’t help but laugh with endearment at the way he was reacting.
“You guys are the worst,” you scoffed, shaking your head while softly caressing Heeseung’s hair.
You eventually went back inside, watching the next movie in each other’s arms. Thankfully, your friends refrained from further, and Heeseung seemed to be more relaxed. You were both still figuring things out, but there was no rush. Whatever it was between the two of you, you were happy with how things were developing—slowly, but steadily.
────
THE NEXT TIME YOU HUNG OUT WITH THE GROUP WAS ON A PARTY ON FRIDAY, HOSTED BY ONE OF THEIR MANY FRIENDS.
As you stepped inside, the house was already packed with people, the loud music almost making your ears ring, and the strong smell of alcohol lingering in the air. Looking ahead, you immediately found Heeseung’s gaze already trained on your figure from across the room.
On cue, the others noticed you as well, and Jake was the first one to stroll over with a big, warm grin.
“You made it!” he exclaimed happily, throwing an arm around your shoulders to lead you to where the group was gathered. Your eyes drift back to Heeseung, and you could notice a new glint in his eyes. His jaw was set, and his brows were furrowed as he sent daggers toward his best friend.
And you quickly realized why: Jake still had his arm loosely around your shoulders. You smirked in amusement, while an idea popped in your head. Without once breaking eye contact with Heeseung, you looped your arm around Jake’s waist, watching attentively how his eyes grew darker.
Ever since your intimate moment during the movie night, you and Heeseung became even closer, flirting at any given moment and almost acting like a real couple. At this point you had no doubt that he felt exactly the same way, but you knew he was scared. So you thought that maybe a little push could help him out.
Jake noticed your exchange, and huffed in amusement. “You’re a menace. Don’t let him beat me up, please,” he leaned closer to your ear, so that you could hear him over the loud music, but also giving in to your little plan. Next thing you knew, Heeseung was abruptly leaving the group and heading towards the kitchen.
You followed him with your eyes, taking in the sight of him. There was something in the way he moved—or even just stood still—that brought all the attention to him. He was eye-catching, impossible to miss even in such a crowded place.
Jake nudged your side, drawing your attention back to him. “Go,” he said with an amused grin. “Before he’ll loose his mind and take it out on me.”
You laughed, and quickly thanked him for playing along before heading toward the kitchen.
There he was, leaning against the counter with a drink in his hand, his sharp gaze still fixed on the spot where you and Jake had been just moments before.
You leaned beside him, your elbow resting on the marble countertop as you looked up at him with a sly smile.
“Having fun?” he asked, tone sharp and jaw set tight as his gaze focused on a random corner of the room.
You laughed softly, shrugging. “I guess I am.” You then gently grasped his chin, tilting his head so that your eyes could meet. “But I bet I would have way more fun with you.”
His facade cracked immediately, proving how much control you had over him. His eyes were wide and the tips of his ears were turning crimson.
“You… you can’t just say things like that,” he muttered, brushing his hair out of his face in frustration.
You smirked, leaning closer to his ear. “Why not?”
That was it.
In one swift motion, Heeseung spun you around, pinning you against the counter. His hands firmly gripped your waist, and you responded immediately by grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him closer until your chests were touching.
“Because it’s hard to resist you when you do,” he murmured, voice husky and eyes hooded as they dropped on your slightly parted lips.
Your heart swelled at his words, and now it was your turn to feel heat creeping up your neck. Heeseung had no idea how much power he had over you as well.
But then his gaze softened, and he reached up to gently stroke your cheek. “Can I tell you something?” he asked, his voice much quieter.
“Of course,” you nodded.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about… us,” he began, his tone a bit hesitant as he tried to put his thoughts into words, contrasting the bold actions of a few moments before. “And I just—I think…no, I’m sure I’ve fallen for you.” His voice was charged with vulnerability, something you weren’t quite used to but that you didn’t mind in the slightest. “It’s so scary,” he continued, admitting it in a bashful whisper. “But I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel… like I’m on fire whenever you’re near. I don’t want to push you away anymore.”
Your breath caught in your throat. Those were the words you had been waiting to hear for so long. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips. “I’ve fallen for you, too,” you confessed softly.
Relief washed over Heeseung’s face as he cupped your face. “I’m ready,” he said firmly, looking in your eyes with the love and resolution. “If you’re okay with it, I’m ready.”
Your heart threatened to burst out of your ribcage, but you tried to kept your composure, nodding with a bright smile. “Of course, Hee. It’s more than okay.”
For the first time, there were no more unspoken words, no more hesitation, no more running away. It was finally you and him, and what the future would hold for you.
────
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i'll be here when you're back | 이희승
pairing. lee heeseung x gf!reader
ever since his room was revealed to the world on mbc world, heeseung has not known peace—whether it be from engenes or his very own girlfriend
genre. fluff (they're making out? it's cute)
a/n. it's been months but heeseung's room still gives me the giggles. the title doesn't have anything to do with the fic except that it's the song i was listening to while writing it lol it fits the vibes? (don't ask me what the lyrics are) enjoy x
"what's so funny?" you look up to heeseung turning in his gaming chair, glancing over his shoulder at you with a curious smile, his headphones resting around his neck.
you wave him off, still giggling. "you wouldn't like it."
he cocks his head, standing up. "what do you mean? i always find the stuff you show me funny. we share the same brain cell."
"this is different," you say, scooching over so heeseung can join you on the floor with his back against his bedframe. "no, wait—"
heeseung has your phone in his hands before you can stop him. he swiftly leans back, holding out his arm to keep you away while typing in your password. the phone unlocks to a paused tiktok video of what he immediately recognises as his room.
"why are you watching this?" he glances at you with a sideways grin as you make to grab for your phone again only for him to lean back more and hold his phone above his head. "babe, you're in my room, you don't need to—wait, were you reading the comments again?"
"don't close the app," you plead at his narrowed eyes, practically lying on top of him now that he's fully horizontal. "i don't want to lose my spot in the comments."
heeseung scoffs and shuts off your phone. "it's not that funny, you know."
"oh, but it is."
he lets out a mock gasp. "people making fun of your boyfriend's interior design choices is funny to you? wow, my girlfriend hates me. i knew it."
you snort in his face. "hee, what choices? i saw the video. that singular shoe is not an artistic choice. we both know you've been looking for the other one since march."
he looks to his left, staring at the shoe that's still very much sitting on top of the box it came with. "i wonder if it's having fun and eating well wherever it is in the world," he mumbles wistfully.
you poke his cheek. "can i have my phone back?"
"so you can laugh at me with people on the internet? absolutely not. i'd rather you just make fun of me the old fashioned way—throw tomatoes in my face, pin a note on my back, shove me into a corner and point a finger at me. at least that'll make me feel like i have some dignity left."
you break into laughter. "i would love to, honestly, but the only thing you guys have in the kitchen is ramen. i don't want to break your pretty face with hard noodles, plus it'll probably echo so loud, the neighbours will think there's a shooting ."
"oh, so you're a comedian now," heeseung says in a mockingly sweet tone before his hands attack your sides without warning. you're squirming as uncontrollable giggles take over, leaving you gasping helplessly while begging for him to stop.
finally, he pulls back when you manage to grab his wrists, holding them in place as you catch your breath. his grin softens. "truce?" he asks, voice low and teasing.
you nod, deflating on his chest while he tightens his arm around your waist to keep you close. "you're the worst," you say into the fabric of his sweater.
heeseung chuckles. "says the one giggling for ten minutes straight over comments teasing her boyfriend."
"i wasn't laughing that hard."
"right," he says with a drawling lilt in his voice. "when i heard you through my headphones, i thought, 'which dude is making you laugh like that under my roof?' only to find out it's engenes. it's an even crueler fate, if you ask me."
you shrug one shoulder, looking away nonchalantly when his gaze drops to your lips. "you'd agree if you read them. someone said, 'this gotta be solitary confinement.' you have to admit, that's funny! i have the right to laugh at their brilliance."
he stares at you blankly. "how is this solitary confinement when you're on top of me?"
"i'm not always here," you reply, raising an eyebrow. "someone else said you're evacuation ready. all you have to do is pick up those keyboards over there and walk out."
the slightest twitch in the corner of his lips spurs you on to keep going. "there was another comment saying you put the room in bedroom."
"okay, get off," heeseung says flatly while making no move to push you off. "that one's not even funny."
"maybe not." you glance at all the free space next to you. "but you could get a rug, babe."
he groans, tipping his head back and exposing the smooth stretch of his throat to you. of course, you lean up and press a brief kiss on his adam's apple. he looks down at you, smiling almost shyly before he shakes his head. "you're cute. but we're not having that conversation again."
pouting, you gesture around you. "you always say you don't spend enough time in your room to bother putting anything in it, but admit it—you were happy when we got that bin from daiso."
heeseung snorts and bobs your nose. "yes, i'm the happiest man alive. every day i wake up and i thank god that i have a girlfriend and a rubbish bin."
"see!" you ignore the amused look on his face and lay your head on his chest. the tension in your shoulders melts the moment you hear the familiar beat of his heart against your ear. "think about how much happier you would be when your room no longer looks like belift uses it for enhypen's dance practices."
he chuckles softly while running his fingers through your hair. "i've seen that one. someone commented that my room could fit the backup dancers, too."
you laugh. "it could."
comfortable silence wraps around you like a warm blanket, neither feeling the need to speak. you eventually lift your head to glance at him, lips curving into a smile when you see that his eyes are closed. you lean down and place a delicate kiss on his lips, light and fleeting, but enough to leave him grinning.
you repeat your action, your lips brushing his in the faintest touch only to feel him kiss you back, so gently it seems like a secret. you pull back when you heeseung's tongue traces your lower lip. his eyes flutter open, a silent question mark reflected in his dark eyes when you don't kiss him again. you tilt your head, mischief glinting in your gaze.
"hee?" you say quietly and he blinks up at you with large, doe-like eyes.
"hm?" he looks ridiculously soft and vulnerable lying underneath you like that. it almost has you changing your mind, but you love a good set-up.
"did you know engenes call you bitchless?"
you let out a surprised laugh when he flips you over. in the blink of an eye, he has you pinned beneath him and his lips are on you, peppering your face with tiny pecks, leaving behind a trail of laughter from you.
you try to push him away by the chest, but heeseung is relentless, placing kiss after kiss on your cheeks, the corner of your lips, your forehead, your jaw. you can feel him smile against your skin and you can't help but giggle deliriously. "what are you doing?"
"proving them wrong," he says while nibbling on the sensitive spot behind your ear, working his way down to the curve where your neck and collarbone meet. "obviously."
"obviously," you mumble back, selfishly enjoying the feeling of his lips on you. heeseung slowly lifts you up, somehow moving you onto the bed and laying your head on his pillow. his warm hand slips under your shirt, happy to roam your skin aimlessly while he kisses you dumb. there's nothing but heeseung on your mind, just him and the muffled groans leaving his lips when you pull on his hair while his knee rests between your legs.
then, the door falls open with a bang and you nearly push him off the bed.
"oh my god, sorry!"
heeseung flails, comically wide-eyed, and whips around to yell at whoever's at the door. you look past him to see riki standing with his back to the room, spewing incoherent apologies while his neck flushes bright red.
you pat your boyfriend's shoulder to catch his attention, silently shooting him a look when he frowns at you, lips pulled in a pout. smiling, you peck them one last time before pushing him aside to lie beside you. "riki, you can turn around."
the younger boy does, looking incredibly sheepish. "sorry for barging in. i didn't know y/n was here."
"it's fine," you say reassuringly. "don't worry about it."
"knock next time," heeseung grumbles before he pulls you up to sit beside him with a sigh. "what's up?"
riki rubs the back of his neck. "i'm going to the department store to get some stuff for my room, just wanted to see if you wanted to come along." in a quieter tone he adds, "the others are busy."
"so was i," heeseung mumbles and you smack him upside the head. gently, of course.
"he's going," you say to riki. "can i come with?"
"yeah, of course!" his face brightens up instantly. "i'll order the taxi, meet me downstairs in five!"
"wait, ni-ki—" heeseung hastily jumps up, but the boy has already left and closed the door behind him, leaving him to stare at it like he's just been bereft of every shred of joy and peace he's ever known. he turns to you with an exasperated look on his face. "seriously? to get things for his room? you planned this."
you shake your head, rising to your knees to be more at his eye level while doing a horrible job at suppressing your giggles. "i wish i did, but the joke wrote itself. now go put on some pants. he said downstairs in five."
four-letter word / 니키
( pairing ) nishimura riki x fem!reader ✶ highschool au, one-sided enemies to ??? ; fluff/crack, cursing — ( wordcount ) ?
ᯓ★ ikueki’s note. based off of tom’s monologue in ‘500 days of summer’ when talking about “hating” summer! this fic is from my old stranger things acc: @scwheeler (IT IS MY OLD ACC / MY WRITING) it was for mike wheeler originally…!
synopsis. riki can’t figure out his feelings towards you; he thinks he hates you but is it really hatred if he can’t get you out of his mind?
nishimura riki hates you.
he stared from across the classroom, watching you with crossed legs and back straight. you tapped your number two pencil on the wooden desk repeatedly, making a quiet yet annoying sound. it bothered him so much, only adding to the mental list of things he hated about you.
rather than staring now he was glaring. but he sat behind you and a couple rows over which meant you didn’t even notice. continuing to annoy him without a single thought.
he pressed down his pencil into his notebook until the lead snapped, making him also snap out of this trance. he looked down at his empty paper with a dark lead circle in the middle. he ripped out the sheet and crumpled it up, debating whether to throw it at your head or into the trash can.
he probably had a better chance shooting it at your head than landing it in the trash can according to his sports record but he refrained because your hair looked nice neat.
riki wasn’t suddenly choosing to be sympathetic or anything but he wasn’t a complete asshole.
or he thought of himself not to be. it must’ve taken you all morning for those bouncy curls and he knows how mad his sisters get when riki occupies the bathroom for more than thirty minutes before school. so he kept the crumpled paper and shoved it in his backpack, agreeing he’d either throw it to your head another day or throwing it away at the end of class.
“mr. nishimura—! i asked you a question, what is the answer to the question on the board?” the teacher asked in a stern tone, hands on his hips and trying to get riki’s unbothered attention.
riki quickly looked away from you, hoping you didn’t see him staring straight at the back of your head. you turned around from your seat to look at him as did the rest of the class.
he was out of it—a little preoccupied with thinking about something else, more of someone else.
his paper was blank. other than the crumpled up one he just shoved in his backpack. did he have notes on that page?before he could mutter an excuse or guess and pray to the gods he was right, a hand rose up in front of him.
it was yours…?
your arm popped up and attracted the teachers attention. “yes, ms. y/l/n?” he asked, now trailing his burning eyes away from riki and softening them towards you. unbelievable.
“if riki can’t answer it, i’d gladly do it myself,” you replied softly.
you didn’t speak in a sarcastic or rude manner. riki almost wished you did so then he would have a reason to hate you. but your tone was sincere like you wanted to help him.
“sure that would be great, go ahead,” the teacher proceeded and let you come up to the board. you took your notebook with you, it was covered in bright stickers and shiny gems matching your appearance.
riki watched as you sat up from your desk, the school uniform clinging to your body to fit your slight curves. he could’ve sworn the uniform’s skirt was shorter than you had on.
wait what—! why was he looking at your body or your uniform, nevertheless your existence…!
you picked up the small white chalk and wrote down your answer, copying your equation from your notebook. the class watched but riki observed. he thought about how you saved his ass from getting yelled at the teacher. why? after finishing the equation, you went to return to your seat. but before sitting down, your eyes met riki’s, flashing a quick smile.
in the brief moment, riki looked at you stunned. you didn’t wait for his reaction though and turned back to the teacher’s lecture. he shook his head, whatever. he hated you.
——
i hate her crooked teeth.
——
if he hates you so much, why was he up at three in the morning still thinking about your stupid smile. your pearly white teeth almost blinding him in the middle of math class.
his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes pierced through the ceiling of his bedroom. what was your problem? you didn’t do this to any other person in the school? you left everyone else alone—his classmates, his friends, his enemies—so why did you chose him? was this a punishment?
riki groaned and flipped to his side to face his bedside table, looking at the alarm clock reading 4:27 now. he spent almost four hours just thinking about you and it infuriated him. he liked girls before, girls in his class, girls on the tv, girls in his favorite movies. but he never stayed up thinking about him until this late hour.
also, he liked those girls! they were pretty and hot! he didn’t find you attractive or anything, so what made you so different?
was it your smile? it wasn’t even that nice! he’s seen better smiles in the newspaper and he could say his mom has a better one. yet you were the only thing on his mind and riki couldn’t stand the feeling.
he turned left and right, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep but it was no help. by the time, his eyelids were finally about to shut, they were disturbed by the bright light of the sun coming up. he hated you so much.
——
i hate her 1960’s haircut.
——
the next day at school, riki slung his backpack over his shoulder and waited at his friend’s locker. he agreed to meet heeseung before soccer practice afterschool and it wasn’t the first time the older boy was running late. riki didn’t mind all that much. if anything it meant an excuse to be late for practice, especially since heeseung was the coach’s nephew.
the only unfortunate thing about going to his locker was that yours was right next to it.
he managed to avoid bumping into you almost everyday. weirdly enough he tracked down your exact schedule with classes, meet up with friends, and when you needed your mid day snacks to get through the day.
heeseung commented on it one time, saying his uncalled “hatred” for you seemed more and more like a crush instead. riki almost blow a fuse right then and there in the middle of the soccer field. heeseung hasn’t mentioned it ever since.
unlucky for riki, you were quite an unpredictable person. most of the time you were walking with your usual friends, stopping by your locker to get your bio and calc textbooks. but on the rare occasions you were alone, you spent the entire passing period leaning against the metal wall texting away on your little phone.
this forced riki to hide behind the corner, peering over from time to time like a creep to wait for you to leave. he was even late once or twice just going to his locker at you finally left when the bell rang.
when his teacher asked why his eyes slowly trailed to you, who stared back at him innocently. unknown that you were the reason why he was late and got detention, for the fourth time now.
he could only shut up and take the yellow slip from his teacher. sliding into his desk in the back and staring out into the window in annoyance. why did he need to avoid you?
today was worse. worse than riki could ever imagine. he headed for his locker after fifth period and watched as you walked down the hall to your cheer practice as you always did afterschool. again, a little weird how much riki knew about you. anyways. he hurried to his locker and put in the code, opening it quickly. he grabbed a couple of his textbooks needed for homework and his soccer bag.
as soon as he closed the locker door, he almost had a heart attack. you were standing right there with you back facing him looking into a small magnetic mirror attached to the door of your locker.
you were applying another layer of strawberry chapstick, the one you carried everywhere and put on during first period, third period, and right after lunch by your locker.
so he was definitely surprised to see you standing right in front of him, puckering your lips and looking into the mirror. completely oblivious of riki standing behind you with a shocked expression saying ‘what the fuck!’ you didn’t even notice him staring at you for a full on five minutes.
riki would never admit it but you weren’t such an eye sore as he tried to convince himself all last night.
you were actually nice to look at. well-rounded and cute features that complimented your face. your hair was right in front of his face, the fruity fresh scents of strawberry and peach shampoo filling up his senses. without him even knowing, riki’s frown turned into a small smile.
your perfectly formed curls with a white headband, all sitting nicely on your shoulders made you look like a character from a 60’s cartoon. they moved side to side as you checked yourself out in the mirror, putting riki into a trance. but he snapped out of it as you put the cap back on of your chapstick, signaling him to return to his main goal: get to practice on-time.
he kept his eyes forward and tried to play it cool. walking down the hall, he just prayed you didn’t catch him ogling you for the past ten minutes.
unfortunately, by the time he got to the field, the coach had already started warm-ups and without the excuse of heeseung’s presence, riki only earned the team four extra laps to run. which no one was happy to do. god—how much he hated you right now.
——
i hate her knobby knees.
——
heeseung informed riki that the whole soccer team was required to attend the school’s pep rally as a part of the athletics committee. wanting to spend his friday night off doing better things (aka playing video games in heeseung’s basement until four a.m.), he continuously urged his friend to sneak out.
“what if we just slip out during the principal’s speech?” riki suggested to an unamused heeseung who already accepted his fate.
“if we get caught—our asses are DONE FOR. my uncle’s gonna kill us and definitely tell my mom.” heeseung seemed dead serious about refusing riki’s request, leaving the younger boy to only sit on the bleachers and wait for the soccer team to be announced.
after what felt like hours of speeches and addresses by the principal, teachers, and staff, a bunch of school-color, short uniforms filled the gym. it was the school’s cheerleaders, girls and boys all wearing color coordinated uniforms with scarily happy smiles plastered on their faces.
a single face stood out to riki. one that’s been distracting him in class, keeping him up at night, and keeping him in the hallways. his eyes immediately fell upon you, disregarding the other twenty girls and guys wearing the same outfit. you were the only one that caught his eye and he couldn’t tell why. was it cause of the locker interaction earlier today?
you were skipping in with a cute grin on your face, those stupid pearly whites blinding riki once again. you had pom pom in your hands, waving your arms in the air and saying hi to the crowd.
you didn’t spare riki a glance even once, unintentionally of course—how could you see him in a sea of hundreds of students! but he didn’t mind. at least it meant he could stare at you the entire time the cheerleaders introduction was happening.
what surprised riki was that you walked to the center as everyone got into formation. you were center stage. your smile was warm and lit up an entire room, the entire crowd beginning to feed into every word you said. when you said “go—!” they said “—team!”
then music suddenly started to play and the cheerleaders started a routine. one that you guys probably practiced a million times before. riki could see the nervousness in your face, hiding behind that smile you held so proudly.
he noticed your knees, you had skin tone band-aids all over them. underneath were obviously bruises, cuts, maybe even scars. people might’ve thought they were ugly but riki couldn’t help looking at them.
not like he was a sadist or anything but the bruises made you look more real. like you weren’t just another carbon copy of these cheerleaders who had perfect lives and appearances like the girls surrounding you.
you were different. something about you gave riki a hint that there was more to you than being a shallow popular girl.
you wouldn’t make fun of the so-called losers with the jocks behind the science building during lunch, their cheerleadering girlfriends joining in just because they can. or disregard the entire meaning of attending school to just dance in a tight outfit and fluffy pom poms in front of the entire school.
no, you were nowhere near those areas during lunch, riki saw you spending the time in the classroom, taking a nap to catch some extra z’s before the last two classes of the day or listening to music and researching choreography for the cheerleaders. in class, you always participated. you paid attention and studied, even helping the other struggling students in your free time.
maybe it was the way you helped him yesterday morning, answering his question and cutting off the teacher’s potential wrath. or you simply smiling at him the moment after.
either way, he found himself clapping for you after you finished your dance, enjoying your performance and rather disappointed to find it so short. heeseung was confused, wasn’t riki just giving suggestions on how to sneak out of here five minutes ago? now he was smiling and clapping like his own girlfriend was out there dancing in front of the crowd?
why did you make riki feel this weird? this good feeling he had whenever he saw you? he had to force himself to hate you to avoid his true feelings from spilling out.
and then, riki realized what the indescribable feeling—that takes over him as a whole every moment he lays his eyes on you—really was. he didn’t hate you.
he hated how you made him feel.
and the world kept spinning ! / 니키
( pairing ) nishimura riki x fem!reader ✶ grumpy x sunshine ; fluff/crack, light cursing + one mention of a dealer/"product" — ( wordcount ) 1.3k
ᯓ★ ikeuki’s note. mr. nonchalant is not so nonchalant now…HE’S SELLING !!!
synopsis. after getting detention on picture day, riki swears he hates you—his actions do not follow his words however.
“i'm gonna dip at lunch.” jake decided and laid back.
“same i have a bio test during fifth that i'm not trying to do,” heeseung added and leaned on the classroom’s wall.
it was routine for the older boys to accompany riki in his class before the bell rang since they all had class without him. riki’s classmates refused to even look to the back of the room where the delinquents were sprawled out.
jake was trying to paper football with sunghoon, having his legs on some poor kid’s desk and flicking a triangle “football,” made out of that same kid’s notebook paper.
sunghoon was half-playing with jake and half-on his phone. his additions to the conversation were the occasional “mhm” and “yeah i'm down.”
jay was sitting in front of riki, turned around with his arms resting on the chair. he continued speaking to heeseung, who was by the window, about their plans to ditch.
“um since when do you take bio?” jake asked, repositioning his little football before flicking it across the desk, through sunghoon’s goal.
“since forever—just haven’t been to actual class yet,” heeseung answered with a laugh.
“so riki, you gonna ditch with us?” jay asked the younger boy who was carving random drawings on his desk with an overly sharpened pencil.
“uh i don't know...my mom's been on my ass since i ditched on monday, she got a call from the school or something,” riki mumbled, keeping his eyes on the smudged lead in front of him.
he was still upset at how the school dean reported riki leaving the school premises during picture day. everyone else was doing it and he just happened to be the only one who got caught. maybe if he wasn't so distracted that day...
“you’re joking—they still do that?” jake asked.
“apparently.” he recalled that day, when he was waiting in line to get his picture taken so he could slip out unnoticed. unfortunately, his long last name prevented him from leaving in the morning like the rest of his friends and was stuck in the stuffy gym for more than three hours.
he thought it was pretty unproductive. on the school’s part. the students would all line up then go to class once done. but since they can’t monitor each student leaving, they’re giving everyone a one way ticket out of class!
moments before his impatience was going to kill him, he was distracted by a vanilla-scented girl who would click her heels nonstop.
aka, you.
after your little interaction, riki swiftly exited the gym, but not before turning to watch you take your picture through the door's window. you smiled softly, teeth showing naturally with your lip gloss shining under the reflective screen.
you easily listened to his advice, his scoff turning into more of a subtle smile. his eyes followed your figure hop off the black stool and pick up your freshly printed student id.
"hey!" a voice called from down the hall.
riki whipped his head towards the sound to see a man walking towards him, "why aren't you in class!" oh shit, it was the dean.
thus, he got detention and the dean called his mom to tattletale his "ditching." he blamed it on you. if you hadn't clicked your stupid little heels, he would have never talked to you and then would have never stood there outside the gym, out in the open for any hall monitors (or deans...) to come and catch him.
now he had to bail on his friends and was in deep shit at home. all because of you and your stupid heels. and stupid curls. and stupid vanilla-scented perfume. whatever!
jay continued talking about their afterschool activities and heeseung shared that his dealer just shipped new product. uninterested in the conversation, riki turned his head to the window. his eyes drifted outside where students were rushing to class.
he skimmed through the various students he never cared to look twice at. until a familiar figure emerged from the hurried crowd.
wait—soft and shiny hair, little black heels, and the freshly pressed school uniform that never looked this good on any other student. riki knew that girl anywhere.
you were chatting away with your friends, too immersed in whatever you were saying to notice the steps by the front of the building. your mouth was moving at the same speed as your legs. failing to see the four steps ahead of you, your little black heels tripped on the first one.
riki instantly stood up. pushing back his chair and desk and watching as you fell forward. the loud movement from his desk attracted the attention of everyone in the class, turning to watch their silent, mysterious classmate become the star of the spotlight. riki didn’t even notice though, his eyes glued to your clumsy figure.
“dude—!” jake exclaimed at the sudden movement.
“what the fu—” jay moved back.
luckily (not for riki), class president and top student, yang jungwon managed to step forward just in time to catch you. the scene played out like one from a kdrama, him swiftly turning you on your back and making you lock eyes with your savior.
riki watched from across the courtyard, three stories above, and through the window as you two smiled at each other before you awkwardly got to your feet. he watched as you patted his shoulder and rambled an apology.
your cheeks were flushed, a little embarrassed and maybe a little blushing. riki hoped it was only the first.
hold up.
why would he care if you were blushing. blushing for that goody-two shoes yang jungwon—who all the teachers and students adored. whatever. you should’ve fallen on your face, riki would’ve liked that better…yeah he totally would’ve.
“what the hell man!” heeseung asked, gripping onto his shoulder to question his outburst.
snapping out of his trance, riki turned to his friend and finally realized that everyone was staring at him. he wasn’t used to such attention.
“o-oh..uhh it’s nothing—i thought—nothing nevermind.” riki stammered, embarrassed. he quickly took his seat again and kept his head down to avoid any awkward glances. the class slowly returned to their conversations, ignoring the boy’s questionable actions.
“what do you mean nothing...” sunghoon spoke up, furrowing his eyebrows.
before his friends could continue hounding him for an answer, the front door slid open with a loud slam! everyone turned their heads to the teacher walking into the class. upon spotting the four misplaced boys, his demeanor immediately turned sour.
“yah! you four—get to class!” the teacher shouted from the door, pointing to the obviously out-of-place seniors in a junior class.
startled but unmoved, the boys casually got to their feet and walked to the back door.
“im so sorry teach, we just love our riki so much!” jake fake apologized and bowed a whole ninety-degrees.
the other three began putting their hands together and bowing too, sarcastically muttering apologies to the teacher and the other students.
“GET OUT!”
“have fun learning algebra!” heeseung shouted with only his head peeking in from the back door. riki only laughed at his annoyingly loud friends as they ran out into the hallway.
as the teacher began class, he looked back out the window to see you long gone. instantly, he internally slapped his own face.
‘stop looking at the window, riki.’
‘why are you looking for her, riki.’
‘she likes jungwon, riki.’
‘STOP THINKING ABOUT HER, RIKI!’
riki kept his eyes shut and tried to calm his own crazy thoughts. he put his head down on his desk, ignoring whatever the teacher started blabbering about.
with the inviting warmth of the sunlight radiating through the window, he was slowly drifting to sleep when suddenly he heard the door open.
click. clack. click.
show me how ☆ jake sim
☆ non-idol! jake x fem! reader ☆ summary: jake didn't think his casual crush on you, his hot coworker at the local ice cream parlor, would flourish into anything. but one day, after a power outage during a shift, the two of you are forced to huddle up together to keep warm, opening up many, many, many doors into your relationship. ice cream was sweet and soft. and despite your appearance, so were you. ☆ genre: coworkers to lovers, fluff, a lot of bickering, alternative! reader, jake is kind of a loser, rock references, nonchalant crushes, summer romance, baddie reader, JAKE IS JUST REALLY DOWN BAD ☆ warning(s)? slightly suggestive? just tbh its js jake being really attracted to you LOL ☆ word count: 12.3k ☆ joining @bywons 1k event for "show me how" by men i trust. i had a little bit of a different approach to crushes this time. this is extremely late im so sorry enjoy!
"Can I get uhhhhh…"
Jake deadpanned for the 15th time in the past hour.
He was trying to be kind, to be understanding, to be loving in all ways possible… He really was.
But was it that difficult to order a mint chocolate cone with rainbow sprinkles?!
Jake watched as the snotty child before him picked his nose, his eyes glazing over the menu. It’s been ten minutes and this kid was taking too long to order. For fuck’s sake, he was holding up the line!
For his summer job, Jake started working at the ice cream parlor near the pier. He thought it was a good idea, since the pay was above minimum wage and he liked ice cream.
Wrong!
It was horrible!
From rude customers to his asshole of a boss to his incompetent coworkers, Jake dreaded coming into work everyday.
It was another summer afternoon, where Jake slaved away for his corporate overlords. Summer was only kicking off, so the June gloom stuck like glue. This morning, there were already storm warnings, so imagine Jake's surprise when a whole bunch of people went to the beach today and the ice cream parlor next to it.
"Please take your time," Jake said with a tight-lipped smile. Translation: I’ve given you enough time, kid. Hurry up and order or I’ll actually snap.
The kid blinked at Jake, before picking his nose. "Can I get uhhhh…"
Jake winced, but forced a smile with a nod. "Would you like any recommendations?"
Translation: You better tip me, you little punk.
By now, he could see the angry mothers and kids at the back of the line, quietly complaining about the hold-up. All Jake could do was smile apologetically, hanging his head in embarrassment.
And to Jake's horror, as the snotty little kid was still deciding on what he wanted to order, Jake could hear the back door creaking open, followed by a "Bye, Jake!" before it slammed.
Did Jake ever say that he hated his coworkers?
Today wasn't even Jake's shift, but he had to cover three shifts, because his other coworkers couldn't give a damn. They loved to leave early because they knew that Jake would work his ass off either way. So here he was, now forced to run an entire ice cream parlor with already angry customers all by himself!
"Actually, I don't want anything," the snotty kid blinked at Jake. "Bye, mister."
With that, the kid left, oblivious to Jake's gawking face.
You've got to be kidding me.
If it weren't for the fact that his name tag had his name printed in big, thick letters and that there was already a line of impatient customers, Jake might have yelled.
As he put on his customer-service voice for the next customer in line, Jake could hear the back door creak open again if he listened past the generic pop music playing in the background.
And the moment that he heard a familiar voice, Jake nearly ascended into the sky.
"Jake, I'm here!"
There was only one part of working at this dinky little ice cream parlor that Jake liked.
And it was you.
His savior, you.
You were the only coworker that actually did your work. In fact, you went above and beyond. The only shifts that seemed to be productive on all ends were when it was you and Jake.
If he could recall correctly, today wasn't your scheduled shift either. You were probably covering someone's shift like him, too.
And plus, you were cute.
Really cute.
Jake never really thought he had a "type" when it came to girls. In fact, Jake couldn't even remember the last time he had a crush. But the moment he saw your smudged eyeliner, constant annoyed look, the multiple tassel and charm bracelets on your wrists, and your black nail polish, he knew that you were his type.
You looked like you could probably scare a baby with a single look. Honestly, you could make Jake piss himself with a single look, too. And for some reason, he liked it. A lot. Which was weird.
Within seconds of just arriving, you were already throwing on your apron, fixing up your work uniform before appearing at the counter, ready to do your fucking job.
Jake tried his best to focus on the group of middle schoolers who giggled over every word as they ordered their ice cream, but even from behind him, he could hear you cleaning one of the scoopers and getting the keys for the second cash register. Even though all you were doing was your job, Jake couldn't help but straighten up his posture and run a hand through his hair as you took the register beside him. Just in case you spared him a glance, he had to look his best.
"Hi, what can I get you?" you said chirpily, putting on your best customer-service voice, something that Jake could tell was not your forte. Although he didn't know you seriously, he's had conversations in passing with you, whether it be on slow days, during breaks, or as the two of you closed up the parlor together. You never sounded as enthusiastic as you did now, as you happily helped an old lady pick her order.
You were cool like that.
Actually, really cool.
Jake couldn't think of anyone cooler than you.
And you were pretty, and hardworking, and honest, and responsible, and cooperative, and a little bit scary, but that was hot. You were also very kind to customers, and even though Jake could see your lips— which were nice, by the way— twitch, he could tell that you were trying your best, which was good, and—
"Um, sir, can I order now?"
Jake snapped out of his daze, tearing his eyes away from you.
"R-Right!"
Completely missing the way you rolled your eyes at him, though without a little chuckle.
It wasn't always easy being the only competent worker at the parlor. While it meant you got paid more for covering so many shifts, you couldn't say it was fun working the late shifts.
The parlor closed at 11PM on weekdays, so here you were, working late into the night.
You yawned as you rang up the last customer of the night, using all of your last bits of strength to muster a smile, before saying, "Have a good night!"
As the door slammed shut, the building winds outside providing more than enough force to ring through the entire parlor, you let out a sigh.
"They're gone, Jake," you called.
From inside the break room, you could hear Jake groan something muffled but definitely, "Finally."
Jake Sim was the only coworker you could rely on. He was the only person your age, both of you were freshly graduated highschoolers working to prepare for college experiences. Despite his party-boy look, he was surprisingly diligent. You definitely noticed how he ended up picking up another person's shift, just like you. Unlike everyone else, he actually gave a damn, which you could appreciate.
Tonight was no different from any other.
It was just Jake and you, working the closing shift together.
The moment you entered the break room, you let out an exasperated sigh, leaning on the door frame. Jake, too, was slumped over on the table, his face buried in his arms.
Your shitty coworkers always tried to convince you that you should be happy to work extra shifts: extra pay, more work experience, have a good rep with the boss.
But what they didn't mention was how absolutely draining it was to work 7 hours straight in a short-staffed busy ice cream parlor.
"Why were there so many people?" Jake groaned, shoving his face deeper into his arms. If you weren't exhausted out of your mind, you would've thought the scene before you was a funny sight. Jake, in his silly white uniform designed to look like that of a sailor's and crooked worker hat, practically melting on the break room table.
"And why were there only two of us?" you added, letting your eyelids fall shut as you leaned against the door frame.
Though, you would say, you did like working for one extra reason: Jake Sim himself.
He was as cute as a button, and pretty easy to talk to.
Jake lifted his head, quickly checking his phone.
"No seriously," he rested his face on his fist. "It was cold and dreary all day— and wasn't there a storm warning?— Why would anyone want to get ice cream on a day like this?"
You shrugged. "Beats me."
The two of you stayed in the break room in silence for a few more moments, catching your breaths after a long day. "Let's get outta here, Jake."
Here was your favorite part of the work day: closing up. Not just because it meant that you got to leave, but you could do whatever you wanted.
Jake locked up the front door and flipped the sign, while you locked up front displays and cash registers. The two of you tidied up the breakroom (which was empty because your slobs of coworkers weren't here), before pulling out the mops and cleaning up the floor.
This was the fun part.
"Hey!" Jake cried as you splashed water onto the floor, your wet mop sludging up the water as it moved against the checkered floor. Looks like some of the water got onto his pants. "What was that for?"
You shrugged, with a sly grin. "No reason in particular— Hey!"
Jake shook off the excess water on his mop, pointed directly at you, the water droplets spraying all over your shirt.
"See?" he pointed to the wet drops on your shirt. "We're even now."
You rolled your eyes, but you knew he was being playful.
It was fun now because this was the time that you could play whatever music you wanted. Your manager always insisted that you'd play generic pop music during store hours, but now that it was closed, you could play any music you wanted. And it was great, because you and Jake had the same music taste.
"Really?" you whipped your head over to Jake as he passed your phone, which controlled the sound system, back to you. "Bon Jovi?"
You winced as loud vocals, strong guitar riffs, and a drum louder than you could imagine blasted through the speakers.
"Bon Jovi is good!" Jake shouted all the way from the freezers.
Maybe your taste was just a little bit different.
Jake was a cool guy. He really was. Very personable and someone that you could have fun with, even if you weren't that close to him. But sometimes his music choices were too much.
"You have no reason to be blasting hard rock at 11PM," you murmured.
"I heard that!"
You stifled a chuckle.
As you cleaned the floors, you nodded your head to the music. You could hear humming along wherever he was. It was all quiet, only the sound of mops, the freezers' buzzing, and your queued music playing in the background. It was small moments like his that made you want to keep working (other than the pay).
And plus, the parlor was very close to the beach.
At times like this, you could hear seagulls squawking overhead, with waves crashing against the shoreline.
Which... now that you thought about it...
Why couldn't you hear any of that?
Usually, even if Jake was blasting the hardest rock, you could still hear the sounds of the sea.
But now, all you heard was wind.
You glanced out the window.
Palm trees blew against the night sky. Wind whirled, creating a howling sound.
And before you could think anything of it, you heard two things: the back door slamming, and the sound of electricity buzzing.
One moment you could see everything, and the next moment it was completely dark.
Your blood ran cold.
The music stopped. The buzzing of the freezers stopped, too. It was completely dark, so dark that you couldn't even see your own hands, save for the single stream of moonlight leaking through the front windows.
You would consider yourself a calm person, you really would.
But in that moment, you felt panic set in.
Because here you were, working a late shift in a tiny little ice cream parlor in the middle of the beach, with no one but your teenage coworker. And now all the power went out.
And because you were afraid of the dark.
The mop in your hand dropped, clunking! against the checkered flooring.
Your heart pounded, so loud that you could hear it in your ears. You could feel it jumping out of your chest.
"J-Jake?" you called out.
No response.
Your mind did wonders to scare you, and now it was working over time.
What happened to Jake? Did he disappear with the lights too? You dug your teeth into your bottom lip.
Were you all alone in the dark? Just you and this dark abyss, a dark abyss so suffocating yet so cold that you couldn't even tell if you were standing or curled up. By this time, your legs were feeling weak, so you wouldn't be surprised if you were on the floor, your knees to your chest.
You squeezed your eyes shut.
The howling of the wind sent chills down your spine. Realistically, nothing could get you. You were just at work, like always, but it was just dark. But you felt like something would jump out at you, something scary and from your worst nightmares. It would get you, maybe hurt you. Were you going to die? Why did you feel so alone? What happened to everyone? What happened to Jake—
"[Name]?"
At the sound of a familiar voice, your eyes shot open.
But instead of being met with a pure, unknown darkness, you were met with a tall figure before you, completely shrouded in darkness, save for the stream of yellow light coming to illuminate its face.
Terrifying.
You let out a shriek as you jumped back.
What the hell was that? Was that what got Jake?—
It took a step forward, and before you could scream again—
"[Name]!" it was Jake's voice. He reached out for you, his hand resting on your shoulder. "It's me, Jake!"
You heard a bit of clicking, and it was then that you realized that the scary figure that you saw was just Jake with a flashlight. You relaxed.
"You okay?" Jake crouched down to your curled up figure, the yellow light of the flashlight glimmering against the floor. Although your eyes had slightly adjusted to the darkness, you could see your hands now. "I think the power went out."
You nodded slowly, still with your knees against your chest. Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You felt Jake's hand reach out for yours, interlocking fingers before giving it a squeeze.
Boom!
You jumped away from Jake, a small "eep!" escaping your lips.
Jake flinched, pointing the flashlight at the front windows.
"Thunder," he muttered under his breath. Although all the streetlights and signs had shut down too, he could see the lightning as it struck in the night sky.
He glanced at your startled form.
"Damnit," he cursed under his breath. "There was a storm warning earlier."
You hid your face in your palms.
This was everything that you didn't want to happen.
It was completely dark, and here you were practically trapped inside. It was impossible to get home, because the roads were all dark, and there was probably an oncoming storm, too. It was cold, and it was just you and your coworker. You just wanted to go home!
Although he couldn't see your face, Jake could sense your uneasiness.
"C'mon," he tugged at your hand. "Let's go to the back."
Although Jake bumped into a few tables and counters on the way to the break room, he didn't mind. After all, there was you, who was clearly startled. He'd rather get a bruise on his hip than you.
He could hear your breath hitching, small whimpers of fear tumbling out as he led you through the dark abyss. Jake had to admit, it was much scarier when it was completely dark than when it wasn't.
The breakroom wasn't much better than in the middle of the floor, but at least there were chairs. Not that it mattered.
You and Jake decided to sit under the break table, shoulder to shoulder with the flashlight between you.
It was silent. You couldn't see Jake, but the feeling of him next to you relieved only some of your anxiety.
The flashlight only illuminated enough for you to see a few feet around you. Otherwise, everything else was a dark, bottomless void.
You knew it was illogical and practically impossible for something else to be lurking. But as minutes passed in silence, the thought of something—or someone— prowling in the dark and ready to jump out at you gnawed at you more and more. Goosebumps rose along your arms, the hair on your neck standing.
"I'm scared, Jake," you whispered, your voice shaky. "I'm so scared."
Thunder boomed in the air, lightning crackled, while heavy rain began to shower down. You jumped at the sound, your hands immediately shooting to grab Jake's arm and leaning into his touch. You squeezed your eyes shut, a scared squeak escaping your lips.
"I'm scared!" you squealed.
Jake's brows furrowed, throwing his arm around your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.
"Hey," he said into your ear, watching as you curled up against him, clutching his arm tight. "Hey, I got you."
Your hold on him only tightened as another round of thunder boomed through the night. "Open your eyes, [Name]. It's okay."
You shook your head profusely, your face pressed into his shoulder.
"Nothing's gonna get ya," he whispered, slowly rubbing circles on your back. "You're okay."
You shook your head again.
"It's so dark," you peeped. "Too dark."
"It's okay," Jake's voice was soft, soft as a cloud as he comforted you. "I'm here. I got you."
You nodded into his shoulder, but you kept your face pressed against it, not letting up.
Jake watched you, both with a soft heart and with wide eyes.
He wouldn't say he knew you too well. Even so, he'd spent a lot of time with you this summer so far, he had a few good memories with you. You were always so... cool.
Always on-task, always ready to fight a rude customer, always ready to speak up if you thought something was wrong.
It was weird. Seeing someone that Jake had always seen as a pillar of support one way or another completely drop that image of strength was… something that he never expected.
Here you were, so vulnerable in his arms.
Jake would have never expected you to be afraid of the dark, let alone some thunder, but he didn't mind. Even with your eyes closed, and even with his arms wrapped around you, you still jolted at each crackle in the sky.
If only he could do something to help you...
Jake let out an 'ah' sound.
He leaned into your ear, whispering right against the shell of your ear, "I'll be right back."
You let out another squeak as you felt Jake slipping away from you, yet he didn't take the flashlight with him.
"J-Jake—!"
"I'm still here," he said, yet you heard as he took a few steps. He was rummaging through his bag. He tried his best to feel for what he was looking for: a small, square case. "I'm with you, don't worry."
And as quick as he left your side he was back. Jake slithered his arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. Your eyes widened a fraction as Jake fished for his phone from his back pocket.
"What were you—" you furrowed your brows— "Why’d you get up?"
You could feel Jake turn his head to look at you, and you could hear him grin.
"To get this." In his palm, Jake revealed a small, square case. His earbuds.
You blinked. "W-Why?"
"Don't worry about it." You watched confused as Jake took his earbuds out, jabbing it into the headphone port of his phone. Then, he handed you both of the ears.
"For you," he said simply.
As you were about to object, lightning striked again in the sky, yet another squeal coming from you.
You took his earbuds, jamming them into your ear.
Jake pressed the first song in his playlist.
And if you weren't scared out of your mind right now, you would have yelled at him.
Because really?
Bon Jovi?
At a time like this?
The music was loud enough that you could be distracted, but quiet enough that you could still hear Jake's voice. And when Jake noticed that you were relaxed enough, he opened his mouth.
"I'm surprised you didn't want to rip out my earbuds the moment you heard Bon Jovi," he said.
You elbowed him, yet you were still clinging onto him for dear life.
"Read the room, man," you muttered. "I'm scared shitless."
Jake laughed, and you rolled your eyes again. "This is the only time that I'll willingly listen to Bon Jovi."
"Hey!" Jake cried. "Bon Jovi is a good band."
You shot him a look. "Play some Pink Floyd, something."
You cursed Jake. Of course he'd let you listen to his music, because he got to control it!
"Nah," Jake said. "Bon Jovi is perfect for rainy nights."
You scoffed. "In what world?"
You could hear him grin again. "In my world."
What a loser.
You could see his phone screen light up, probably texts from his parents, but he ignored it. Jake’s phone was on the floor on the other side of him, the side that you were not on.
“Are you sure you won’t play Pink Floyd?” you asked slowly.
“Nope.”
Extreme times call for extreme measures.
Your arm reached across Jake’s lap, jerking to take his phone.
“Hey!” Jake yelped, squirming away from you in a way that blocked your hand from reaching his phone. “What the hell are you—“
“I’m changing the song!”
The two of you struggled like that for a few more moments, and then the next thing you knew you were on Jake’s lap, your arms pinned above your head.
“Let go of me!” you writhed, the earbuds in your eyes still blasting the hardest rock you’ve ever heard. Although you managed to take Jake’s phone, there wasn’t much you could do if he was pinning your hands above you.
“Then give me my phone back,” Jake ignored your struggling.
“Then change the song!”
“No!”
You huffed, continuing your attempt to wriggle out of Jake’s hold, but alas, he was stronger than you. “How are you so strong—“
Boom! Crackle! Thunder and lightning struck.
“Eep!” Immediately, you collapsed onto Jake’s chest, pressing your face into his shirt. You clung onto him, squeezing your eyes shut. When you could feel his chest rumble with a few chuckles, you punched his shoulder lightly. “Shut up.”
Jake chuckled again, but he only pulled you in closer by the waist, allowing you to cling to him more comfortably.
As the storm raged on, any hope that the power would be back up was lost. Jake's phone still had service, but you could tell he was being polite and not going on his phone to not make you feel alienated. Your phone was somewhere in the front, probably on a counter or something.
"We really shouldn't have agreed to cover shifts today," you murmured, your cheek pressed against Jake's chest.
Jake hummed.
He wanted to get past the way that anytime you spoke to Jake, it was either about music or work. He didn't mind talking about these things with you, but he wished he could say more. He wanted to know what you were thinking, and hear about what you liked and disliked, what silly stories or memories you had to tell him.
He wanted to get to know you.
“What’s your favorite color?”
???
"What?"
Jake blinked. "What's your favorite color?"
You stared at him. "Why?"
He shrugged under you. "I dunno. I just wanted to get to know you better."
"Oh." What a simple reason. It made sense for such a simple question. "I like black."
Jake scoffed. "That's not a color."
"Huh? Then what is it?"
"A shade."
"Says who?"
"Says science!"
And then it was quiet again (at least on Jake's part, you were still listening to his music)
But not quite awkward.
Despite the compromising position that you were in, there wasn't any feeling of embarrassment or discomfort.
That's how Jake would describe how he felt toward you. It was an easy thing. You were cool and pretty, and he liked you. Nothing more, nothing less. No games to play, no extra calculations or hours of planning. He liked you, and he was just going to do what felt right. It was as straightforward as that.
"What are you doing after this summer?" you asked suddenly, breaking the silence.
That's right. You and Jake had never discussed much about your personal lives, like where you went to high school, what your plans were post-high school, etc.
And now that the two of you were alone, in the dark, with virtually nothing to do, it was the perfect time to talk about it.
"I'm going up to Santa Barbara," Jake said coolly. "I'm studying biomed engineering."
"Oooh," you mused. "How exciting."
Jake let out a chuckle. "You don't sound excited."
"I am," you deadpanned, and Jake couldn't hold back a laugh.
"What about you?" Jake asked. "What are you doing?"
Even though it was dark, Jake could hear you frown.
"I'm going to Davis for International Business." You paused. "I don't know."
"Whaddaya mean?"
You shrugged. "I dunno if it's really my passion. I just chose it because—"
You're interrupted by a loud bang! followed by buzzing. You jolted, tensing up in Jake's hold, whose hand shot to the small of your back protectively.
"Eek!" you cried, and the next thing you knew, all the lights were back on.
You and Jake stayed where you were for a few moments, long enough for the freezers in the back to start buzzing again. As if someone just snapped their fingers, everything turned back on. The bright lights hitting your darkness-adjusted eyes made your eyes water.
"Oh," Jake said plainly. "The lights are back on."
"No shit, Sherlock," you muttered, earning a pinch to your side. It was now that you and Jake really realized your current positions: you were on top of him, with your head resting on his shoulders, with his arms wrapped around your waist. And it seemed like the two of you realized this at the same time.
"We should—" Jake averted his gaze from you, finding the floor next to him very interesting.
"Yeah, you're right, we should—" you slowly pulled away from him, grimacing at the feeling of Jake's arms slipping away from you.
"Yup, and—" Jake trailed off, not fully completing his thought.
Awkward.
The two of you were back on your feet in no time, both with slightly-disheveled work uniforms, but hey, it was to be expected.
Together, the two of you inspected the parlor. Just in case something slipped in while it was dark (even though that was virtually impossible).
Everything was exactly as you left it.
The mop that you dropped on the floor, your phone on the counter, the keys to the freezer that Jake threw by accident, even the messy chairs.
"Are you scared right now?" Jake asked with a chuckle as you stayed close behind him, your fingers clutching his broad shoulders. From time to time you'd peek around him, but for the most part, you stared straight at his back, unwilling to look ahead. Just in case a monster jumped out!
"I'm not." Lie.
Jake laughed, but before he could poke fun at you more—
Boom!
Oh right, the storm.
Like a cat, you jumped almost immediately, gripping Jake's shoulders for dear life.
Jake peeked out the windows. The streetlamps and signs were illuminated again.
"Looks like all the lights are back up," he said. He glanced over his shoulder to you, who clung to him. "I think we can go home now. The storm's dying down already."
You nodded, and the two of you finished closing up in silence, before preparing to leave.
"Do you have a ride?" Jake asked you as the two of you packed up your things.
Shit.
"My mom was going to pick me up because she didn't want me driving late at night," you groaned. "I'll call her right no—"
"No," Jake shook his head, reaching inside his pocket. You watched as he really shoved his hands in there, like he was searching for something. At last, after digging through his pockets for what felt like hours, he pulled out a bunch of keys, with a tiny lego keychain dangling off of it. "I'll drive you home."
After that day, you weren't called into work again for a few days. In those few days, for some weird reason, you couldn't get Jake off your mind. Which you thought was weird.
You never really thought about Jake aside from work. And it wasn't even the fact that you were thinking about him! It was the fact that you felt weird for feeling weird about thinking about him. If that even made sense.
He's always been cute. Gentlemanly, too.
When he drove you home the other day, he insisted that you didn't need to pay him back for driving you home. In fact, he said that he'd rather use more gas than have you wait alone at the parlor to be picked up. He opened and closed the door for you, showed you how to control the heaters so that you could be warm, and even let you play your music!
He was reliable too, someone that you knew you could count on. And he was very kind, because no matter how many rude customers there were, he understood that everyone was human and served them with a smile. Unlike you, who always exercised that "we reserve to deny you service" right.
These were all things that you knew. It was no surprise. You knew these things.
But after that day, you couldn't help but feel like it was... amplified.
Jake was cute, but now he was cuter. Way cuter.
He felt even more gentlemanly and reliable and kind now. Him going out of his way to comfort you, even if it meant that you had to listen to his god-awful music, warmed your heart.
And that was the weird part.
It was just so odd. You couldn't stop thinking about him. And you felt all weird and mushy for thinking about him, which made you feel even weirder!
You didn't really get it.
Surely, it wasn't a crush.
It wasn't like you were all over the place, distracted and spacy and blushing now that Jake was on your mind. You weren't rolling around and kicking your feet, nor were you giggling.
But you would be lying if you said that the simple thought of his name didn't make you excited.
Meanwhile, Jake knew exactly what was happening to him.
And it was that his crush on you definitely deepened tenfold.
In the moment, when he was with you, whether it be the other day or any other day at all, he was always nonchalant. It was a casual crush, he'd say. Everything was straightforward with no games to play.
But that was a lie.
Because here he was, lying on his bed and staring at his ceiling. He hugged his pillow, embarrassingly pretending that it was you. He felt like a weirdo, but he couldn't get the feeling of you clinging to him and in his arms out of his head!
Just the mere thought of that night made him have to roll around and giggle for a few moments.
Jake sucked in the scent of his pillows. Unfortunately, they didn't smell like you, just like laundry with a faint scent of his own cologne.
You were so pretty, and cool, and kind, and smart, and practical, and just everything good in the world. And then when you got scared and clung to him, it made his heart flutter, because who knew you could be so cute?
Jake let out a squeal into his pillow, his cheeks hurting from how much he was smiling.
For the first time ever, Jake actually wanted to go to work. Just to see you.
He couldn't wait for it.
"I'm sorry, ma'am," you said for the millionth time today. "We don't have that here—"
Another day at work. Just when the idea of going to work didn't sound too bad, you're reminded why you hate it.
Apparently some kids on TikTok spread a rumor that your parlor had a special, limited-edition, summer unicorn flavor. And even worse, your damn social media manager was hinting at it on Instagram, too.
So here you were now, trying to explain to a hoard of angry customers that this limited-edition unicorn flavor was absolutely false. To think that your own social media manager would betray you and your coworkers like this just to attract more customers... You shouldn't be unsurprised but you were.
Diabolical.
It must've been the 90th time in the past hour that you had to explain that you had no fucking clue what a unicorn flavor would be, and if you weren't a tired and overworked teenager, you would've felt bad when a little girl bursted into tears in the middle of the store.
Cry about it, you thought, and you couldn't tell if that sentiment was towards your angry customers, or if it was towards upper management that were about to get multiple complaints about you.
Breathe, you had to tell yourself. It's not worth it. Where was everyone else anyway? You couldn't believe that you were left completely alone to operate the establishment on your own. And most of your coworkers were older than you anyway. Those bums!
You sucked in another breath, putting on your best smile.
"You're telling me that you don't actually have the limited-edition unicorn flavor?!" an angry father crossed his arms, upset with his children cowering beside him.
"No, sir," you said as politely as you could. "That was just a rumor. My apologies for the inconven—"
"Unacceptable!"
You winced, feeling your ears warm up. If everyone in the parlor wasn't already watching you like a hawk, all eyes were now on you.
"I had to drive two hours here," the father slammed his hand on the counter, leaning in so close that you could smell him. "I drove two hours here for unicorn ice cream and you're telling me that it was all a lie?!"
All of this.... for ice cream?"
"I apologize, sir," you hung your head low to appear genuine, clasping your hands together. "That must have been a long ride and—"
"Shut up and give me my ice cream, you bi—" Your eyes widened a fraction as you saw a big palm swinging your way... Was he about to slap you? In the milliseconds that you could even react, you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for the stinging feeling of a hand against your cheek.
But instead, you felt nothing, only the sound of a few gasps and light chuckling.
"Hey, there, sir," you heard Jake's voice as you peeled your eyes open.
Jake was beside you, his hand wrapped around the man's wrist that was mere inches away from your face.
"J-Jake?!"
The man struggled in Jake's grip, attempting (and failing horribly) to pull his wrist out of Jake's hand.
"Let go of me, boy!" he yelled. Everyone's eyes were on the scene now. How embarrassing.
Jake narrowed his eyes, tightening his grip.
"Here at Layla's Ice Cream Parlor, we reserve the right to deny any patron service," he said plainly.
The man scoffed. "And are you about to deny me service? What are you, the manager?"
Jake only shook his head calmly.
"You were about to assault my coworker here," he motioned toward you, then to the man's still-raised hand. "I don't need to be any manager to realize that someone of that sort has no business here."
Jake shot him a smile, before roughly letting go of his wrist, letting it fall to the counter.
"Please leave, sir."
He glanced around the room, noticing the way everyone stared at him. Another tight-lipped smile spread on his face.
"There are no limited-edition summer flavors, so if that is what you are here for, I apologize for the disappointment. " Jake glanced at you. "Please help yourself to the flavors that we actually have."
With that, Jake took you by the wrist, pulling you into the breakroom.
"W-Wait Jake—!" you tried to pull out of his grasp. "There's still customers out there."
He gently pushed you down onto a chair.
Jake crouched down at your sitting figure, putting his hands on your knees. He squeezed them playfully. "You've done enough today. I'll handle the rest."
"But— But there's a lot of people today," you reasoned, placing your hands on his. "You can't run the entire place on your own...!"
But before the last syllables could even leave your lips, Jake was already retying his apron, fixing his dumb uniform hat. Before he slinked away through the door, he glanced over his shoulder, gripping the door frame.
"I'll prove you wrong," he said with a grin. "Just watch."
(You were right, he was wrong. Not even the most exemplary worker like Jake could handle an entire exuberant ice cream parlor by himself. The moment you saw his tired eyes you were already throwing on your apron. Though, you got a good laugh out of it afterwards.)
You deadpanned.
This was not what you signed up for.
It was Saturday, the day that you swore was your break day from work. And then all of a sudden you got an urgent call from your manager and you rushed to work immediately.
You thought that the parlor got robbed, or maybe something broke down.
Nope.
"You want me..." you blinked, "To wear that?!"
Lo and behold, before you was a comically large ice cream costume, with a brown waffled body for the cone and the most obnoxious white swirl reaching high in the ceiling, with only a circular cut-out to see your face.
Apparently, sales were dwindling, so your managers decided to try out some new advertising.
You were going to wear that godforsaken ice cream costume and hang outside the parlor to attract customers.
"Kid-friendly language only," your manager instructed you matter-of-factly. "No swearing, no saying mean words."
You tuned him out.
And if the walk of shame out of the bathroom in your ice cream costume wasn't bad enough, you were hit with the last thing you wanted to see: Jake Sim.
You were about to jump and shriek and let the ground open up and devour you whole... when you realized that he was wearing an ice cream costume too...!
"You too?!" you cried. Behold, in front of you stood your favorite coworker Jake Sim with an equally deadpan expression, clad in the ridiculous ice cream costume.
"Yup," Jake muttered, popping the p. "I guess we'll never be free."
And he was indeed correct.
There was truly nothing more mortifying than standing outside the damn ice cream parlor, holding an even more obnoxiously bright sign and trying to attract customers... all in your humiliating ice cream costume.
Kids laughed at you from across the street. Cars that passed by you probably did the same. Absolutely demoralizing.
"Come to Layla's Ice Cream Parlor," you said in a monotone voice, trying your very best to not burst into tears of sheer embarrassment. "We have ice cream... and... uh—"
You glanced at Jake, whispering to him, "What else do we have?"
"Ice cream." He said, absolutely no expression in his voice or face. Oh god, we must have lost him too! "Nothing but ice cream."
Poor guy, he looked like he wanted to disappear.
This must have been a punishment, or something. Maybe a humiliation ritual. But after a good ten minutes, you and Jake just decided to commit to the bit. After all, you were getting paid extra for this.
"Ice cream, ice cream!" you and Jake chanted as you paraded around the vicinity of the parlor. After all, there was nothing you could do but make the best of it. You went out of your way to speak to oncoming customers, advertising with the most energy you could. "Come to Layla's Ice Cream!"
But it wasn't always easy.
Like always, customers and children were rude.
"Hello, miss, are you interested in trying some of Layla's yummy yummy ice cre—" and then you got laughed at. Like actually. They just started pointing and laughing at you. Like you were some freak.
And then Jake tried to square up some little kids a few times, it was a mess.
And finally, after what felt like years out there trying to advertise to people, your manager finally called you guys back in. Apparently, you and Jake did such a wonderful job that you guys were needed back at the front. Your coworkers couldn't seem to keep up. Lazy asses.
You and Jake went back inside to change back into your work uniforms— those stupid blue and white sailor uniforms. Except, one of your coworkers was having an "emergency" in the staff bathroom (you were certain it was just Beomgyu sitting on the toilet with his phone and refusing to do his job), so both you and Jake had to change in the staff break room.
At the same time.
"Okay, you will change, and I will cover you—"
"Shut up!" you exclaimed. "Why can't we just change at the same time?"
Jake was being terribly awkward about it.
"B-Because!" he reasoned, unable to hide the way he couldn't look you in the eye. "Because.... you're a girl, and I'm a guy!"
"Aaaaand?" you drew out your syllables, crossing your arms over your chest.
"We can't possibly change in the same room?" Jake cried. "What if— What if I accidentally see your—"
Your cheeks warmed up. What was he on about? "You're not going to!"
Your boss was really annoying about punctuality, so you and Jake should probably change quickly anyway. You ignored Jake's fussing, raising your arms as you began to pull your shirt over your head.
"What are you—"
"Just change!"
In the end, you guys just did the easiest option: turning around so that you faced opposite directions while the other changed... which should have been intuitive for Jake (but he's a little slow).
When you two were both done changing, you turned back around to face Jake, about to let out your grievances about working.
Except, when you saw him, you couldn't help but let out a giggle.
Because your work uniform was supposed to resemble that of a sailor, there were a few complex pieces, such as the sailor scarf draped over your shoulders and neck. Usually, you need a mirror to tie it properly. There was also the damn paper sailor hat that you had to wear.
Since you weren't changing in the bathroom, there was no mirror, so poor Jake's hat and tie were sloppily done, crooked on his person.
"Jake," you smiled, motioning for him to come toward you. And when he was close enough, you yanked him even closer to you by his shoulders, causing him to let out a yelp.
"W-What are you doing?" he asked, unable to hide the panic in his voice.
You giggled again. Your hands began to work on his tie, undoing his sloppy tie and neatly folding it. "Relax, you big baby."
When you were done with his tie, you fixed Jake's hat, oblivious to the way Jake's ears and neck turned a noticeable shade of red.
"There you go," you said with a grin. "All good!"
Jake looked at you with shaky eyes. You were close to him now. Close enough that he could feel your breath fanning his cheeks. Close enough that if he just leaned in a bit more, he could kiss you— Jake jerked himself away from you abruptly. His heart was pounding in his chest at an abnormal rate.
Don't think about kissing her when she's right in front of you! he scolded himself. You gave him a questioning look, before you just grinned again and left the break room.
Ah, Jake was going crazy.
Man, fuck you Beomgyu! you mentally cursed your other coworker. You were absolutely correct; earlier he was indeed hogging the staff bathroom so that he could shirk his responsibilities. According to Jake, Beomgyu did this really often, to the point that the staff bathroom ran out of soap too fast because Beomgyu was busy playing with soap and making dumb ass bubbles in there.
Of all times, it had to be now that the staff bathroom just decided to run out of soap?
It was getting late, so your manager told you to start cleaning. And just as you began, some little unsupervised middle schooler skateboarded right into you, spilling his three scoops of chocolate ice cream with layers of caramel and peanut butter sauce all over your white uniform.
And all you were given were a few measly napkins to wipe but the sticky sweet mess, only after you cleaned up the mess on the floor. Now as you desperately tried to clean the mess off your uniform in the staff bathroom, you were certain that your manager was going to yell at you later.
As you reached for another hand towel from the dispenser, you let out a groan as you realized that there were no more. Seriously, what was Beomgyu doing in here that he just used up all the soap and paper towels?
"[Name]," you heard a knock on the door. It was Jake. "You good in there?"
You groaned again.
"No!" you cried from the other side of the door. You were frustrated, how bothersome! Even if there were more paper towels, there still was a giant brown stain on your shirt. And you'd probably have to get another uniform. "It looks like a shit stain!"
You heard Jake chuckle from the other side of the door, before his footsteps retreated. After a few minutes, Jake came back.
"Can I come in?" he asked, knocking again on the bathroom door.
"Door's unlocked."
Except, instead of seeing Jake in his usual work uniform, he had a big black hoodie thrown over him, probably one that he was wearing before he changed into his uniform earlier. In his hands was a white shirt.
"Wear this," he said as he shoved the white shirt into your hands.
It was his own uniform shirt.
"But—" you tried to reason with him, but he put his hand up, silencing you.
"Can't have you walking around with a shit stain on your shirt," he said with a cheeky grin, earning him a slap on the arm.
"But you'll get in trouble," you breathed. Your manager was really particular about workers wearing uniforms, and for some reason not about workers actually doing their job.
Jake shrugged. "It's about time I did." And flashed you another smile. "And plus, I was going to get in trouble anyway. Apparently, defending my coworker from a rude customer is punishable."
Ah, the unicorn ice cream incident from a few weeks ago.
Was he really that willing to get in trouble for you?
As you closed the door to the bathroom, you could already hear your manager and another coworker making their comments about Jake. Although you couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, it must have been the usual remarks about inefficiency. And probably about how he wasn't wearing work-appropriate clothes.
You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip as you listened to their muffled voices.
Jake was really getting in trouble all for your sake.
As you buttoned up his white shirt, you noted that it carried the scent of his cologne. It smelled good, and you instinctively brought the sleeve up to your nose to catch a better whiff. But then you felt weird and stopped immediately.
It wasn't fair. Everything about your job.
You and Jake had to do all the work, but even so, the managers were disproportionately harsher with Jake than they were with you. Probably because of some sexist bullshit.
And then there were rude and entitled customers.
Jake was taking the fall for you too much.
And you couldn't keep letting it happen.
As you made your way out of the staff bathroom, you could hear your manager berating Jake, with another coworker joining in.
"And why are you not in our employee dress code?" your manager chided. "This is unacceptable! A hoodie? What do you think will happen to our store's brand?"
Jake just hung his head low, but you could tell he was annoyed more than anything. "It was because [Name]'s shirt got ruined, and she was uncomfortable."
"And what business do you have with [Name]?" your coworker joined in lambasting the poor Jake.
"Look, man," Jake looked up at them. "I was just helpin' her out." Jake paused for a moment. "And plus it's closing hours anyway. It's not like anyone sees me out of uniform."
Your manager and coworker thought for a few moments, before your coworker said, "Well, you're still causing a hindrance for our parlor. I think we will cut you weekly pay—"
His weekly pay? Ridiculous. Your body moved on its own, and before you knew it, you had bursted through the door.
"I-It was my fault!" you blurted, your lips moving faster than you could think. "Jake was just helping me."
You ignored the way Jake looked at you with eyes big as saucers, surprised. You swiped your tongue over your lip. "I-It's really my fault. If there's anyone that should get their weekly pay cut, it should be me."
Jake's face visibly contorted, his brows crashing together. "[Name]—"
"That's enough," your manager finally spoke up. The older man sighed, before checking his wrist watch. "Jake, [Name], just forget about it. Don't make this mistake again. Just close up for the night."
And with that, you and Jake were left alone once more.
"What was that all about?" Jake asked you as the two of you closed up.
"What was what?"
Jake huffed, leaning on the mop. "You know, what happened earlier about uniforms?"
"Oh." You shrugged, not really paying him any mind. "What about it?"
Jake huffed again. "Y'know... Why did you step in?"
You finally looked at him, before blinking a few times. "Isn’t it obvious?"
Jake smiled. "No, that’s why I’m asking you."
You scoffed playfully. "Okay, smartass."
You paused for a few moments. "You’re my friend, Jake. You’ve protected me in the past, so I'm just returning the favor."
"Thank you," Jake replied, unable to hide the smile growing on his face. "That's very kind of you.
You just hummed in response, going back to cleaning up.
Jake teetered on his feet, back and forth, as he played with his fingers. His heart pounding in his chest, Jake chewed on his bottom lip.
He was nervous.
Just this morning, you texted him if he wanted to hang out with you, because as you said, you were bored.
Hanging out? With you? The hottest girl that he's ever seen? There was no way in hell that he'd say no to such a golden opportunity.
You'd told Jake to meet you at the pier, because there was a nice mall area around there. As you relayed in your texts, you were going on vacation in a few weeks, and needed to go shopping for it.
You'd be lying if you said you didn't have any ulterior motives. You weren't really sure how you felt about Jake. He was cute, and sweet, and you definitely wanted to get to know him better. And there was a part of you that desperately wanted to impress him.
Maybe today could be an opportunity for you.
You checked your reflection in the car window before you got out of your mom's car. Muttering a "bye," you made your way toward where you told Jake to meet you.
It was a sunny day. You chose to wear something breathable, a pretty pink sundress with a cardigan. You didn't dress like this on most days. You liked to opt for dark colors, but today you wanted to be... cute.
Pretty for Jake.
You spotted Jake pretty easily. Not because he had anything that made him physically easy to identify, not at all. It was more like... you simply could just spot him. It was like you had a newfound Jake-radar.
"Hi," you said with a smile. And for some reason, it seemed like Jake was startled, with his eyes widening as he caught sight of you. "Are you okay?"
Jake stared at you for a few moments, and you swore you saw the way his eyes looked you up and down. His lips parted, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he swiped his tongue over his lips.
You felt a twinge of embarrassment. You didn't wear light colors normally, was it obvious that this dress was not something that you usually wear? Did you look strange? Maybe you should've worn your typical black clothing, and—
"N-No," Jake stammered, his eyes still looking you up and down. Truth be told, he had to bite back a "damn." Because yes, damn, you looked hot. "You look— You look nice today."
Your cheeks prickled with warmth. "Oh. Thank you."
"You don't..." Jake continued, as if he was on autopilot. You were beginning to feel really shy when you realized that he was really staring at your chest area. "You don't wear pink often, do you?"
You averted your gaze. "You're right, I don't." How embarrassing! So he notices the things you wear... and he probably 100% knows that you don't wear pink at all. "Does it look weird, or—"
"No!" Jake blurted, before catching himself. He cleared his throat, his ears a warm shade of pink. "Not at all. I really, uh, meant it when I said— When I said you looked nice."
You nodded slowly. Was it normal to feel so warm? Maybe you should check the weather again?
"Really nice," Jake echoed himself. If you weren't busy feeling shy yourself, you would have noticed Jake checking you out for the 50th time already.
You murmured a brief "thanks," before you quickly changed the subject.
"Shall we go?"
It was unusual to feel awkward or shy around Jake, and vice versa. You knew for sure that Jake was a special person, but it never affected you. For Jake, he was determined to be calm and nonchalant when it came to you. And plus, your friendship was always casual anyway.
Which was why all of your shyness dissipated pretty quickly.
You took Jake along to all the spots at the pier's mall area.
"What are you looking for?" Jake asked as he trailed after you. Jake will never understand women. You've been to 4 stores already, and all you've done is touch things and say, 'Oh this is cute.' And then you'd leave.
You shrugged. "Cute things for vacation."
Jake looked around, through the store mirrors as you two traversed the mall area. "Any preferences?"
You shrugged again. "I like dark colors, but I don't mind brighter colors for vacation, yaknow?"
Jake hummed.
The two of you walked around for a little longer until you stopped in front of a store.
"What's this?" Jake asked.
You grinned. "A swimsuit store."
Listen, Jake wouldn't consider himself an easily-excitable guy. He wasn't pervy, either. Especially toward you! He was nonchalant!
But as he entered the girly swimsuit store, he couldn't help but redden at the thought of you in some of these swimsuits. Some of them were provocative and cheeky, making Jake's stomach do flips as his mind crept into places that made it hard for him to make eye contact with you. Other ones were cute and frilly, arguably making Jake's heart pound even faster as he imagined you in them.
"Hey, what do you think about this one?" you asked Jake as you took one of the suits off the rack.
On the inside, Jake was already drooling at the thought. But on the outside he simply nodded, giving a playful smile and a thumbs up. And really, he thought that if he could maintain that attitude for the rest of the time in this swimsuit store, he'd be fine.
But he was wrong.
"Okay, I'm gonna try these on, and I'll have you give me feedback."
What.
What?
And so Jake sat in the couches in front of the changing rooms, simply awaiting his death.
He's not weird, he swears. He doesn't want to be creepy or gross toward you.
But how could he not sweat and basically hyperventilate in these changing rooms when the hottest girl that he's ever seen (you) is about to ask him for his opinion on swimsuits?
Jake was certain that no matter what, you would look hot.
And he was proven correct when you slipped out of the changing rooms.
"Okay, first one," you said, in a voice that was a little too relaxed. You went on your tiptoes, doing a few turns here and there so that Jake could see the full extent of the suit on you. "What do you think?"
And oh.
Good lord.
Jake was really trying his best not to make you uncomfortable.
But there was absolutely no way that he could just sit there and not react. His jaw quite literally dropped the moment he saw you.
The way the suit hugged your body, the way the colors illuminated your skin, the way you were 100% feeling yourself in it— All of it was making Jake 2 seconds away from crashing out.
You must have been a goddess. Or maybe Jake saved a country in his past life.
"It looks— You look— I— You—" he stumbled over his words. There were no words to describe how you looked. You looked downright beautiful. Like, if Jake died now he wouldn't mind. And when you giggled at his reaction, he took a deep breath. Don't be a weirdo! he told himself.
"You look beautiful," he breathed, finally catching himself. His eyes flickered back up to your pretty, pretty face. "You look really beautiful in this one."
"Thank you," you smiled at him. You did another twirl, something that you definitely knew drove him crazy. And if you hadn't noticed him checking you out, Jake was certain that you definitely knew now.
And maybe Jake didn't know enough about women. Because he really believed that that one swimsuit was the only one that you were trying on.
And he was so wrong.
Because there were at least 3 more that you wanted to show him!
Oh, he wasn't going to survive this.
Well, Jake did survive.
After insisting on carrying your shopping bag full of your new swimsuits (Jake didn't dare peek inside because he thought he'd combust), you decided to do some more exploring.
You got some food to munch on, and went to all types of stores. And you took many pictures, too! Pictures together, of you trying on hats and sunglasses. Candid pictures of each other, many of which where you look pretty without even trying and Jake's mind is blown.
More exploring, walking, sitting down, walking, and then sitting for 30 minutes because both of your feet hurt. A lot of laughing, a lot of dumb conversations, and even more laughing.
And before you knew it, it was getting dark out. Suddenly, the sound of the waves crashing filled the air, the cool beach wind blowing against your cheeks.
"Let's go walk along the shore!"
And so you did.
The orange sky was fading into a dark blue, and yet, the sun still shone so brightly as it submerged into the horizon. The water gently rocked against the shoreline, while the scent of sea salt and seaweed filled your senses.
It was a cool evening, and you tugged on the sleeves of your cardigan to warm your cold hands.
By now, the beach was quiet. Many people had already left, as it was slowly becoming nighttime.
In quiet moments like this, you couldn't help but fully conceptualize Jake as a person.
He was a handsome boy your age. He was kind, sweet, responsible, silly, everything great in a person. And he had a similar music taste to you, too. And here he was, walking alongside you as the sun set.
Your eyes fluttered over to him. His eyes were trained on the sand below his feet, appreciating the way the wet granules covered his skin.
He was a straightforward person. Things went from A to B with him easily. No games, nothing to hide. And yet, you felt like there was so much to discover about him. There was an entire world undiscovered in his head. And you wanted to be a part of it.
"What are you thinking about?" you asked suddenly, interrupting the calm silence.
"You."
.
.
.
You?
You could feel your heart picking up speed, but you kept your composure. Meanwhile, you swore your skin was prickling with an uncharacteristic warmth.
"I-I mean—" Jake seemed to snap out of his daze. "I— I was just thinking about you, and work, and summer, and—"
You blinked, but your lips spread into a tight smile. You didn't know why you felt disappointed.
You sucked in a breath. "The water's really nice tonight."
"Mhm," Jake agreed. He wasn't blind. He could see the way your face fell ever so slightly. He could see when you felt flustered or shy because of him.
But what if he was misinterpreting things? What if his eyes were playing tricks on him?
But then you'd look up at him with those shiny eyes, almost like you were begging him to give you his heart.
Just go for it.
His eyes dropped to your hands, which were still tugging on your sleeves to keep warm.
Jake clicked his tongue. Boldly, he grabbed your hands, clasping them in yours.
"Hey!" you cried.
"Geez, your hands are so cold," he murmured, before locking his fingers with one of your hands. As if nothing happened, Jake just continued walking along the shore, this time with your hand in his.
You stared at your interlocked fingers for a few moments, before you swallowed all of your shyness and continued trailing with him.
The two of you returned to walking in silence, nothing but the sound of the water and your breaths filling the air.
Jake wasn't lying when he said he was thinking of you, because he really. He always was. And just as he was about to fall back into thought, your hand pulled away from his.
With curious eyes, Jake watched as you silently pulled out a tiny plastic case from your purse.
Your earbuds.
You plugged them into your phone, before jamming one of the buds into your own ear. You looked at Jake expectantly, and he took the second earbud graciously.
You bit back a laugh as you turned on your music.
The second you pressed 'play,' a hardy bass and an unforgettable drumline played into your ears.
"Are you serious?" Jake immediately snapped his head at you. "Fleetwood Mac?!"
You laughed, throwing your head back. "I wasn't about to let you ruin the beach vibe and play Bon Jovi."
"I don't only listen to Bon Jovi—!"
And just as you and Jake were enjoying music, the beach, and most importantly, each other, Jake's phone rang. And of course, his ringtone was a Bon Jovi song.
You gave him a look as his lips spread into a goofy smile.
Not daring to tear out the earbud, he picked up his phone and listened with his other ear.
And even though it was nearly nighttime by now, you could still see how Jake's face morphed.
When he hung up, his face dropped.
"They need me to take someone's shift."
Oh.
This was really, very, genuinely, seriously annoying.
Because unfortunately, the truth was that if they needed Jake to work, then they probably needed you to work too.
Because they always needed you and Jake to work.
And so, here your (not-so official) date was ending.
Apparently, it was extremely urgent, and they insisted on paying Jake extra if he came. Not to worry, because he texted your manager to make sure that you'd get extra pay if you came along, too.
The moment that you stepped into the parlor, you could feel all the joy leaving your body. You swore that Layla’s Ice Cream Parlor had evil spirits in there, designed specifically to simply fill your body with dread.
You put on one of the spare work uniforms that the parlor had in the back. It was a little big, and a little itchy, but whatever.
When Jake got the phone call and explained to you the situation, you were fully expecting a packed parlor, with a line that went out the door and your incompetent coworkers couldn't handle it, or something. But now that you were in the parlor, you realized that that was just a load of bullshit.
"Empty," Jake muttered behind you. "There is absolutely no one here."
You hummed in agreement, equally deadpan.
Those lazy bums.
They just didn't want to work the closing shift. They just didn't want to do the cleaning or locking up. They just wanted you to take their shifts so that they could go home and relax.
And so here you two were, just lazing around in the breakroom, just trying to pass the time. You let your phone play some random playlist.
"I'm sorry," Jake said, with his cheek pressed against the breakroom table. "We were hanging out and I decided to take us to work."
"Nah, you're justified," you said lazily. "They're promising us extra pay, so it's fine."
The room went silent again, but you could tell Jake was thinking something. And indeed, he was.
Jake felt horrible! Although you did agree to come to work with him, he still felt back. Did he just fumble your first (unofficial) date? God, he's so stupid! Now you two were stuck in the worst place on earth.
He stared at your bored expression.
He couldn't let you stay bored.
Without a word, he got up from his seat in the breakroom and disappeared out to the front. You could hear some cluttering and buzzing.
"Close your eyes!" he yelled before he came back to where you were in the breakroom. And you complied.
"What are you doing, Jake?" you asked, but you couldn't help but smile. He was definitely up to some antics.
"Just close your eyes," he instructed you, before sitting down with you at the breakroom table again.
Jake clasped his hands together. "I have three cups of ice cream here. You will close your eyes and guess which one is which."
You let out an exasperated sigh. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Jake laughed. "We can't get bored in here."
You chuckled. "Okay, fine."
Jake watched you intently as he spoon-fed you the first spoonful of ice cream.
The first flavor was strawberry, your personal favorite.
Maybe it was getting late, or maybe Jake was just too obsessed with you, but he couldn't take his eyes off of the way your pretty lips opened up for the ice cream. He was simply so mesmerized by the way you licked your lips, relishing in the way the sweet strawberry ice cream melted on your tastebuds.
"This is so obvious," you nudged him, kicking him from under the table. "At least make it hard for me!"
Jake rolled his eyes playfully. "Just guess!"
You huffed, mumbling something about him being stupid under your breath. "Strawberry. Duh."
"Woo hoo!" Jake cheered for you. "It was strawberry!"
"Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
The second flavor was ube. Which you guessed almost immediately.
"Next flavor, please," you giggled. "This game is too easy,"
But Jake wasn't listening to you in the slightest.
Just why did you have to start licking the spoon clean? The way your glossy lips wrapped around the spoon, your tongue wrapping around the smooth plastic, and now he was feeling all types of things, and—
"Seriously, make it harder for me!"
Jake gulped.
The last flavor he had was salted caramel. His own personal favorite.
He'd already taken a few bites out of it.
He glanced at your lips, then down at the salted caramel ice cream.
Even under the corporate light of the break room, you still glowed so prettily. And you must have been doing it on purpose, the way you were keeping the spoon in your mouth, with your lips wrapped around it so prettily.
Jake's eyes flickered back to your lips once more, then to the salted caramel ice cream.
His heart was already pounding in his chest. All the blood was rushing to his head and Jake thought that he'd faint.
Your lips were just so damn pretty.
It seemed like something was possessing Jake's body. While his mind was frozen on your lips, his body was moving on its own.
He reached out for you first, his large hand taking solace on your shoulder.
And in one, fluid motion, Jake leaned in, and closed the gap between his lips and yours.
Your lips were soft and sweet, like clouds. Jake's eyes had unconsciously fallen shut, and the moment that he realized that he was kissing you, they shot open. However, just as he was about to pull away, because oh my god he was kissing you, and he didn't even ask!, Jake felt your hand slither up around his neck.
You pulled him in even closer, deepening the kiss.
Jake felt dizzy. It was the way your tongue dipped into his mouth when he let out a little gasp. Or maybe it was the way your fingers ran through his hair, almost as if you were desperate to keep his lips on yours. Your everything— your hands, your lips, your scent— they were all driving him insane.
Jake didn't want it to end, and if it weren't for his need for air, he wouldn't have pulled away. Ever.
The two of you sat there, breathless, staring into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. Jake's cheeks were red, his pupils blown out with desire. His eyes fell down to your lips.
"Salted caramel," you breathed, your hands sliding down to his shoulders. You squeezed his shoulders. "You taste like salted caramel— kiss me if that's the answer—"
And you didn't need to ask him twice, because Jake was already crashing his lips against yours.
There was something so addictive about your lips. The way you moaned against his lips, the way you clung onto him like you needed him, it was all driving him crazy.
Jake needed more, he needed you.
In his head, it was all just you, you, you.
"I want you so bad," Jake mumbled against your lips. "Please."
He could feel you giggle, but he simply just slides his hand around your waist to pull you closer.
Your lips moved against his in ways that were too perfect to be real. Jake felt like he was in heaven. You were heaven. You were angelic, you were godly, you were—
"Um, excuse me, are you guys still open?"
!!!
You and Jake jumped away from each other.
Shit.
It was still store hours.
"Are we going to get fired?"
Now it was actually closing hours.
You and Jake started cleaning after you were so rudely interrupted, and now it was time to close up.
And it was awkward.
Your heart was practically leaping out of your chest. It felt like forever since you shared your kisses with Jake. And now, you craved his lips once more.
But what if it was just on the whim? What if Jake just did it to do it?
You just wanted him so bad. You wanted to kiss him again, you wanted to feel him again.
"For what?"
You shifted uncomfortably, your eyes refusing to meet Jake's.
"Kissing coworkers."
"No!" Jake's cheeks flared up. "Of course not!"
"Then..." your brows furrowed. Your face felt hot to the touch. You felt like you were going to get a heart attack. Seriously, you felt like you were burning up, all the while you felt frozen in time and space. You slowly looked up at Jake. "Then can we... you know... keep doing it?"
.
.
.
"I— I mean, if you don't mind— and if it's not something that we could get fired for—" you stammered— "Then can we... you know— can we keep kissing?"
Jake was already on it.
“Eek, Jake, lock the doors first!”
After a few more weeks of hiding in the storage closet to makeout, and honestly straight up shirking your responsibilities to kiss in the breakroom, you and Jake did the unthinkable.
"We resign!"
Your manager looked at you incredulously. "W-What?"
You and Jake smiled. "We quit."
You've never felt more free. With your boyfriend at your side, it seemed like the summer was endless.
BONUS
"Did I ever tell you that I liked you?" you asked Jake, in his car just moments after you quit your job.
"I don't think you did, babe," Jake laughed.
"Oh."
You should probably put that on your to-do list.
You glanced at your boyfriend. How his lips looked so kissable.
Sigh. You'll tell him what you like later. It's time to kiss!
note: please reblog n comment if you enjoyed! xoxo vanya >_<
presenting a fic by @FLEURYUNS
um... who is this?
IN WHICH after being dared to prank call one of the hottest sophomores on campus pretending to be a woman he met at a party, you're unexpectedly roped into the life of lee heeseung as you're forced to keep up the role.
PAIRING ⟡ player!heeseung x fem!reader
UNIVERSE ⨯ college/uni au
WARNINGS ⟡ fake dating au, but was it ever really fake?, prank calls, hot boy!heeseung except he’s actually a loser, one (1) suggestive scene, cursing, smidge of angst, jay’s highkey an asshole, depictions of smoking, depictions of drinking and doing drugs
WORD COUNT ⨯ 16.7k
AUTHOR'S NOTE . . . inspired by the one and only, francesca stugot
Contrary to popular belief, Truth or Dare doesn't stop being fun after middle school. If anything, with higher stakes and getting rid of the PG-13 limitations, the game only becomes more intense as you get older.
Or so that was how you explained it to your friends in hopes to convince them to play a few rounds instead of studying for your midterms. But hey, it worked.
You laugh and clap your hands as you watch Yunjin complete her dare. She's surprisingly good at juggling, if you ignore the two failed attempts splattered on the floor. Why did Ryujin have to suggest using eggs of all things is beyond you.
"Okay, okay!" Yunjin catches the last few eggs. "I'm done, my hands are covered in yolk. Ew!"
The other girls echo her cries as she runs off to the bathroom to clean it off.
"It's Y/N's turn!" Ryujin calls out. You playfully glare at her from your side, pretending as if you haven't been impatiently waiting for your turn since the last round.
You hear Yunjin agree from afar. She asks you the impending question: "Truth or Dare?"
"Dare."
"Ooh, I've got a good one~" Her sing-songy tone is never a good sign, but you're too giddy to care, even with the girls ooh-ing and ahh-ing at their own recognition of it.
When she finally comes back, her hands free from eggshells and yolk, all eyes are on her. She looks from side to side for dramatic effect. Yunjin leans in. So does everyone else. She opens her mouth as if she'll start to speak, but nothing comes out before she closes it again with a teasing smile. Everyone groans.
"Out with it!" You say, throwing your arms up for emphasis.
She laughs. "I dare you to prank call Lee Heeseung acting as if you're some girl he met at the party last Friday."
Your face drops.
The girls cheer.
"Oh my god!" You hear Yizhuo yell. "You're a genius!"
"I didn't even go, though," you protest.
Yunjin shrugs. "Makes it even better." Just as you're about to rebut, she raises a finger and interrupts. "Ah! And don't say you don't have his number 'cause I know you used to send him the notes when he missed class last semester." She holds up your phone tauntingly, and you can't help but wonder when she took it away from the speaker, where it was paired to your playlist.
Curse her and her impeccable memory.
"Urgh, fine!" You give in, extending your hand for your phone.
As you type away your passcode and scroll to find the phone app, you reluctantly punch in his name (simply saved as "Lee Heeseung (SNU)" — nothing crazy!) The girls giggle to themselves about the heartthrob since high school.
Everyone and their mother knows about Heeseung. Almost everyone and their mother has been with Heeseung. Yourself excluded, obviously. And, unfortunately for them, excluding most of the girls here, too.
Yizhuo had the grace to spend a night with him and “came back a woman”. (Her words.)
Now, she's scooting closer to you, leaning her ear near the phone you're bringing to your ear.
It rings. Ring!
Once. Ring!
Twice.
"What if he doesn't—"
"Hello," a groggy tone questions from the other side of the line.
The girls all fail to cover their squeals.
Heeseung makes a confused noise. "Um... Who is this?"
"Uh...." Your eyes widen. You didn't really think this far ahead, hoping deep down that he wouldn't pick up at all. Eyeing Yunjin, screaming "Help Me!" with your expression. "This is... Hana..."
"Hana?"
"Kang. Kang Hana," you clarified. "We met at the, uh, party last Friday. At Jay's."
There's a moment of silence through the phone. Then some shuffling noises from his side. You sit patiently waiting for his reaction.
"Kang Hana," he repeats slowly. You hum to him.
"Yeah, we had a good time together, didn't we?"
He pauses. "I guess? Can you remind me?"
You begin to tell a tale about your encounter, barely keeping track of the details, letting your imagination run wild, stopping to listen to Heeseung hum in hesitant confusion.
Kang Hana arrived last out of all guests, immediately running to the kitchen for her first drink of the night. Then, she found herself swaying to the music on the living room dance floor, where she met Lee Heeseung. He had his arms placed respectfully on her hips, letting her guide his moves. He whispered that they should get out of there. She agreed.
They spent an hour or two engaging in conversation about anything and everything on the front patio, ignoring the smokers around the corner.
Hana not only arrived late, but also had to leave early. And so, she left Heeseung stranded, left to drink his grief away in hopes of forgetting all about her.
Yizhuo leans a little too far, enjoying the story too much, her head knocking over your hand, making you both tip to the side. You let out a squeal into the phone.
"Woah!" Heeseung yelps, pulling his phone away from his ear. Or you suppose, hearing his voice fade a little in the distance. With the phone away from him, it's able to pick up on the surrounding sounds better, and you realize he isn't alone either.
"Who is it?" You hear from the phone. The voice sounds familiar and you can almost make it out. Must either be Sunghoon or Jay, his best friends, you assume.
Heeseung doesn't miss a beat before responding, "Y/N."
Your heart does a flip. Yunjin's eyes widen. Ryujin chokes on the juice box she'd been sipping on. Yizhuo is still lying on the floor, only her mouth is significantly more agape.
"You knew it was me?"
He chuckled. "Obviously," he says matter of factly. Heat rises to your cheeks. "Took me a second, I'm a little tipsy, haha."
"Oh." Your eyes dart to the girls again. "Am I interrupting?"
"You're never a bother, babe."
Babe? "Huh," you let out unintentionally.
The girls furrow their brows one by one. Although they probably can't hear every word, they can clearly hear the weird turn this conversation has taken.
"Are you with the girls?"
You shake your head in confusion. "Um, yeah, I am." You're still trying to figure out what he meant by the pet name.
"I don't want to keep you if you're having fun." The smile on his face is clear as day in his flirty tone. "Text me later though, okay?"
"Okay?" Slowly, you pull the phone down and end the call. The second it hits your lap, it buzzes again.
Ping! New message!
이희승 (SNU) Kang Hana? 23:04
"What was that about?" Ryujin asks.
You don't respond yet. Focusing on the typing bubbles at the bottom of yours and Heeseung's no-longer-blank messenger.
이희승 (SNU) ik you weren't at Jay's last week 23:04
ME and i know you don't call random people 'babe' ?? 23:05
이희승 (SNU) can i call you later? 23:05
ME i wasn't lying when i said i'm with my friends 23:05
ME tomorrow? 23:06
이희승 (SNU) let's meet up at the café on campus 23:07
"Hello, hello, Earth to Y/N?" Your head snaps up as you click off your phone. Yunjin waves her hand dramatically across your face to catch your attention. Ironically, it works. "You're still in there? Or did Hana take over?”
You blink up at her, then offer a small smile. “Sorry, that was weird,” you laugh. They all look at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to explain or give more details, but you’re not sure what to give them. “Alright, who’s next?”
You manage to drift the topic away from Heeseung and Kang Hana’s encounter. Yizhuo nearly fails her own dare, but succeeds in getting the neighbours number. After Ryujin answers her Truth (”If you had to kiss any of the girls in this room, who would it be?” “Well, I already have, but I’d say Y/N.”), you all decide to call it a night.
Ryujin and Yizhuo head out together; their rooms in the same dorm-building across the road. Meanwhile Yunjin begs to stay the night, opting to sleep on the floor because she can’t be bothered to pay for a cab ride to her apartment off campus.
Your thoughts keep coming back to Heeseung calling you babe, for some reason. Rubbing at your cheeks to snap yourself out of it, you sigh when you realize that it doesn’t do anything to help the blush that spreads further up your cheekbones to the tips of your ears the more you think about him.
Monday mornings have a bad reputation, and you completely understand why.
The sunlight creeps through a slip in your curtains and shines right in your eyes as you startle awake from a dream starring your party-animal alias and the campus heartthrob. Checking the time, you groan as the bright numbers ‘06:27’ glare back at you.
Your promise to a rendez-vous last night pushes you up and out of bed. You carefully side-step to not wake Yunjin, who’s still sprawled out on the floor.
You grab yourself some cereal and a cold glass of orange juice to fuel yourself before hopping into the shower. When you get out, it’s 6:44, a minute before your alarm rings loudly. You’re convinced everyone on this floor can hear it, but luckily you haven't gotten any complaints thus far.
Yunjin stirs finally. “Dude…”
“Wakey wakey, Sunshine,” you tell her, standing above her with a cheesy smile. “I have cereal and oatmeal.”
She rubs at her eyes, still laced with tiredness. “I’ll just grab something at the café after classes. I should get going, anyway.”
It doesn't take long for Yunjin to get dressed and leave the room promptly. She’s spent so many nights at your dorm that you took the time to clear up some space in the drawer for her stuff so she doesn’t need to rush out before even the sun’s awake.
When you’re left alone in your room, you pull out your phone again, the screen already opening into the chat room you visited last night.
ME what time do your classes end? just wanna know when i should get to the café 06:59
You wait. And wait. And wait some more for his response. You notice he hasn't even been online since you sent your message and decide to give him some more time.
Although he definitely has classes today, you assume, he might not be as much of an early riser like yourself.
In the meantime, you busy yourself with getting ready for your own classes. You pack your bag with all its supplies, checking your phone every so often, hoping to see it light up with a notification.
Ping!
All you can think is, “Finally,” but unfortunately when you pick it up, the notification reads: @jenaissante has made a new post!
“What am I doing?” you ask yourself out loud.
Since when do you sit and stare at your phone in hopes that some guy is going to answer you? How embarrassing.
You shake it off, grab your bag, and head out to your first class.
Walking down the comfortably silent hallways of your dorm building makes you think that out of everyone, you might be the only one awake. However, you stand corrected as you’re greeted with a door almost slamming you in the face.
Coincidentally, as the owner of said door says, “I’m so sorry!” and you respond, “It’s okay! I’m okay!” your phone buzzes in your pocket.
Nearly making your bag topple out of your hands as you reach for it, your shoulders relax when you see who the message is from:
이희승 (SNU) i hate mondays 07:33
You bid your goodbyes to the door-slammer.
ME good morning to you too 07:33
이희승 (SNU) 😑😑 07:34
이희승 (SNU) i don’t have classes today. when do yours end? 07:34
ME no classes and yet you're awake so early? i'm impressed lee heeseung 07:36
ME i have my 8AM that ends at 10, then a three hour gap until my next class 07:36
이희승 (SNU) oof three hours 07:36
ME i’m on campus so it's not too bad tbh 07:37
이희승 (SNU) 10 o’clock it is? 07:39
ME sounds good 07:40
You shut off your phone and look up to realize you've made it to the building.
You find it weird how easily you’re already getting distracted by Heeseung, even though you’ve barely interacted, much less talked in person since last semester when you shared a class.
Even then, neither of you ran in the same groups, so your conversations were very limited to assignments and bad-talking the professor.
Of course, you’ve heard a lot about him, but none of it ever involved you. At most Yizhuo was being very descriptive about her night with him, though even then—especially then—you didn't pay it or him much attention.
Deciding to push him out of your mind entirely, you pull out your laptop and set up your notes, waiting for the professor to arrive and start class.
After two long hours, you’re dismissed from class. You tell your professor goodbye and head for the door, but come to a stop when you see a familiar figure leaning against the glass on the other side. Taking quicker steps to come around, you meet face to face with Lee Heeseung.
“Hi,” he says calmly.
“What are you doing here?”
His smile falters. “I came to pick you up.”
Your eyes dart to both sides of the hallway, as if waiting for Yunjin or someone to pop out. “How did you know this is where my class is?”
For the first time in your life, you watch Heeseung lose his cool composure. He stumbles over his words before clarifying, “I asked around.”
You try not to think too hard on it, eyeing him suspiciously before humming. His shoulders relax and he claps his hands together before pivoting toward the stairwell.
“Shall we?” He turns to you, extending his arms as if he’s some royal guard leading the crown princess into a carriage.
“Yes, we shall.” You play along because what the heck. And his smile is worth it.
The two of you make your way down to the café just across campus, not really talking on your way there, but staying close. It’s not as if some sort of secret operation is going down, so neither of you make a move to act like you don't know each other.
Come to think of it, you really don't know what's the purpose of all the theatrics. He even opens the door for you when you get there. Has he always been a gentleman?
From what you’ve heard, Heeseung is a player through and through. Typical, textbook heartthrob who makes people fall for him, toys around with that idea, and then leaves them to pick themselves up. Or, he’ll spend one magical night with a random hookup he meets at one of the million parties his rich friends throw every weekend, only to leave them in the dirt in the morning.
(Literally. Stories went around about this one girl he hooked up with outside. She woke up in Sunghoon’s backyard with only her bra and panties on. Or so you’ve heard.)
He leads you to the counter where the barista takes your order quickly. Just as you're about to reach into your bag for your wallet, Heeseung waves his hand in front of you. “Don’t worry about it,” he says before taking out his card and paying before you can reply.
“Thanks.” You try to come up with something better, but run short. “I’ll pay next time,” you say before you can stop yourself.
“Next time,” he says with an unreadable tone.
You want to reply, but nothing comes out. Instead, your eyes drift back to the barista. You watch him prepare your drinks and you silently pray that he goes faster so you can move on.
Luckily, he listens. “Alright, one iced caffe latte with vanilla syrup, and one dark chocolate mocha for the couple.” The man makes a dramatic turn with the drinks, adding a theatrical wave of his hand to you two.
“Oh, we’re not—”
“Thank you,” Heeseung replies with a smile. He takes a hold of both drinks and motions for you to lead him to a table.
And so you do.
“So,” he says as he sits down. “Kang Hana—” A wink. Your drink is suddenly very interesting. “—I have a proposal for you.”
“Proposal,” you question, raising your cup along with your brow. You take a sip and set it back down. “Go on.”
He takes his own sip. For a moment, you watch him appreciate the taste. He closes his eyes for a fraction of a second in satisfaction, traces of the drink left on his lips. It takes everything in you not to reach over and wipe it yourself. So, you hand him a napkin.
He thanks you before proceeding. “Okay, fine, it's more of an ask rather than a proposal because you won’t technically—” He adds air quotes. “—be gaining anything out of this.”
Now you’re very curious. You let him speak.
“There’s this girl…” he starts. His eyes drift away to the other tables, almost trying to deduce if anyone would want to eavesdrop and spread gossip of what he says next. “I really like her.”
Oh god. You’ve heard this before. Usually it only happens by boy best friends, but basically complete strangers work too, you guess. You prepare yourself.
“And, I just don’t know how to tell her—”
“Listen, Heeseung,” you cut him off. “We barely know each other. I don’t think you’re really thinking this through. How can you even trust your feelings when you barely know me?”
He blinks at you. “What?”
Your heart drops. “You’re not confessing to me.”
Heeseung lets out a short breathy laugh. He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck and answers. “No… Not exactly.”
“Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.” You let your head drop into the palms of your hands, but when you feel his hand on your arm, you snap your head up.
He rapidly retracts his hand of reassurance and lets it float above your arm for a second. “No, no, that’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed,” he assures you, only with his hand now in his lap. “I’m actually a little embarrassed about what I’m trying to ask you—If you’re up for it!”
“Can’t be more embarrassing than I feel right now,” you reply between small sips of your drink.
“Can we date? Wait, this isn't a confession, I meant like can we fake date? Like date, but not actually date. Not that that would be an awful thing to do! I just like this girl and…” His eyes are comically large as he rambles the same reformulated question. The embarrassment slips away as you watch his cheeks redden. “If you’re comfortable,” he finishes more quietly.
You take a moment, both to see if he’s really done, but also to consider your options. “Why?”
“Right.” He nods. “So, as I was saying… There’s this girl I like, and I want to get closer to her and ask her out, but we’ve talked before and she hates that I’m—” More air quotes. “—A player.”
You raise your brow at his words. “Put down the air quotes, then we’ll be on the same page.”
He rolls his eyes imperturbably. “You know what I mean…”
“How would fake dating help you start actually dating? Sounds counterproductive ‘cause doesn't that just make you unavailable?”
“I want to prove to her that I’m more than just—” He waves his arms around to search for the word. “—more than just some guy that goes from girl to girl as if nothing.”
You nod. “But… Isn’t this, kinda, lying? Since you haven't actually been in a long term relationship.”
“I mean, yeah, if you think about it like that.” He takes a sip of his drink, and when his lips part from the straw, you notice he bite it as he drank. You shake your head. “I’m just showing her that I’m capable of being in a long term relationship. I’m a serious guy looking for something serious.”
The snort you let out is entirely accidental. He looks faux-offended as he wipes off the drops of your drink that fell out of your cup. “Sorry,” you say, also wiping your arm. “You’re a serious guy. For sure, for sure.”
“I am,” he protests. “I take things very seriously. Like this rendez-vous. I’m normally still in bed at this time.”
This catches your attention. “Wait, why did you get up so early though? We didn't have a set time ready, you could've slept in.”
He shrugs timidly. “I knew you mostly take morning classes, so I wanted to be up when you were…” His sentence goes quieter by the end of it, with no help from him reaching for another sip of his drink, which is practically empty at this point, so the tension in the air only grows thicker with the ear-piercing sounds of him drinking air through a straw.
“Oh,” you say slowly. “I stand corrected.”
He nods.
You bite your lip out of habit. “So, shouldn't we discuss the, like, rules to this… Scheme?”
“Wait, you’re gonna do it?” He seems genuinely surprised. And cutely excited.
“Yeah,” you shrug, trying to act nonchalant. “What’s there to lose, I guess. But—” You raise a hand. “We need to figure out these ground rules and I need to get something out of this.”
He agrees easily. And you settle on asking him to put in a good word to one of his friends, Jay, who happens to be the son of the man who owns one of the most respected law firms in the country—you want in on it.
“So, you’re going to be a lawyer?”
Heat rises to your cheeks bashfully. “Yeah, it’s always been my passion.”
Heeseung’s eyes widen in astonishment. “Does that mean I should be more careful with how we set this up? Should we sign a contract to make it official?”
You laugh. “Do you have a printer? We could write one up if you want.”
He plays along with the joke, which eventually leads to him opening his notes app and writing down the rules you settle on together:
You cannot tell ANYONE that this is a set-up. If [REDACTED] finds out it’s a lie, how is Heeseung supposed to find love 💔
Stick to the same story: We met last semester and have been keeping it lowkey. We got together during the break.
Hang out in public at least twice a week. (Heeseung will make plans to make sure his crush will see them.)
Hand holding is a must while out together.
No kissing. Not on the cheek, and not on the lips.
Y/N has to attend all some do you want to make a good impression or not FINE all of Jay’s parties.
Fake relationship must last AT LEAST two months. Further discussion of whether or not the (FAKE) relationship continues will take place then.
“Now…”
“What’s wrong?”
You watch Heeseung look from right to left, reaching down into his pockets for something, but he comes up with nothing. “How are you going to sign it?”
As unexpected as it is, you have to laugh. “Here, let me,” you respond between laughs, reaching out for his phone, which he hands you swiftly.
At the bottom of the page, you add:
I, Y/N L/N, accept these terms and conditions.
“Your turn.”
And he does the same with his own name.
I, Lee Heeseung, accept these terms and conditions.
“Perfect, so it’s settled.” He claps unceremoniously. “Here’s to the start of Kang Hana and Lee Heeseung’s fake relationship.”
He raises his cup toward you, and you get the memo to clink! your own against his. It’s silly considering they’re plastic cups that make nothing but a wsh! sound when bumped together, but the sentiment is there.
You spend a few more minutes sitting together in silence as you finish your drink.
You’re not sure why Heeseung hasn't left yet. Your business together is done for now, and he’s long finished with his own drink. You decide, however, that you’re glad he stayed.
As you’re stuck in thought, you don't notice that you're staring. You don't see the sly smile that creeps on his lips. And you certainly don't realize Yunjin is watching this scene go down from behind the window.
The front door’s bell snaps you out of your trance, when you finally feel the eye contact you're making with Heeseung. You pull your eyes away shyly, sipping on your drink until it bottoms out.
Unbeknownst to you, Yunjin makes her over to you and Heeseung with a confused expression painted over her features.
“Y/N,” she says. Your eyes widen at your friend leaning over the table to look at the two of you. “What’s going on here?” She teasingly points between you and Heeseung, wiggling her eyebrows all-knowingly.
Suddenly, you forget all your words.
Luckily, Heeseung smoothly takes the lead, already playing his role. “We’re on a date.”
This takes Yunjin by surprise, if her gasp paired with widened eyes says anything. “A date?”
“Yeah,” he says, drawing out the syllable. He looks at you with telling eyes, as if asking if you want to add on. You slightly shake your head only for him to see. “We were actually just finishing up. Right?”
Your cue. “Right, yeah.” You clear your throat awkwardly.
Yunjin raises her hands defensively. “Well, I don’t want to interrupt any more than I already have… So, you two have fun….” She leans over to whisper into your ear. Heeseung raises a brow from his side, but turns away to pretend he isn’t listening to it. “You’ll have to tell me all about this later.”
She bids you goodbye and makes her way to the counter, making no effort in acting as if she’s not staring at your table, watching your every move, as if to assess the situation.
Your hand comes up to the side of your face to subtly cover your mouth from her prying eyes. “We should really get out of here.”
Heeseung nods. “Slowly, we don’t want her to think anything.”
“Is it really so important to keep it from my best friend, though?”
“Yes!” Heeseung says in a whisper-yell. He smiles over to Yunjin who’s blissfully unaware of his outburst, probably thinking the two of you are joking around. Turning back to you, his voice lowers. “We can’t let anyone know the truth, not right now.”
You wonder what you’re getting yourself into now that it’s in play.
He ends up walking you back to your dorm, making his way into the building and all the way to your floor, walking you to your door, even after you insist he doesn’t have to. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got back safely?”
“Fake-boyfriend,” you point out.
He nods. “Fake.”
While opening the door, you have a weird urge to ask if he wants to stay for a little. You brush off the feeling and turn back to him. “See you…” You stray, not really sure when you’ll see each other.
“Tomorrow,” he finishes. “For our first official date. Fake date.”
You nod your head, and that’s it. He walks backward into the hall, waving to you, before he turns to watch where he’s going. You only wave back when his back is turned.
Too caught up in whatever the hell you’ve agreed on, you spend the rest of the day burying yourself in studies. Midterms are around the corner, so may as well get some work done now. You also can’t bear to spend another minute with Heeseung’s stupidly pretty face, and smile, and everything stuck in your head.
Throughout the afternoon, then into the evening, your phone buzzes over and over again. You don’t even bother checking in fear that it’s Heeseung.
When you head off to bed, you quickly scroll away from your notifications and open Yunjin’s chat, where you see she’s been spamming you pretty much until you passed out. You note the time and feel the relief wash over you as you realize she must already be asleep by now. You start typing away.
ME i’ll tell you everything tmrw 01:47
ME meet me at the quad in the morning 01:47
As opposed to Monday mornings, Tuesdays have a different, much more optimistic air. It’s as if everyone’s realized that maybe this week won’t be so bad, so might as well put on a smile before heading to classes.
You don’t have early classes today, so you head down to the quad as promised, a knot forming in your stomach on your way.
There’s nothing you hate more than keeping things from your friends, especially Yunjin. Trust is something you really value in your friendship, as you’re both very open with each other, this feels like breaking it, even though it isn’t necessarily a bad lie to tell.
Taking a deep breath, you convince yourself that it’s for a good cause and she’ll understand once you tell her the truth.
You’re surprised not only by the fact that Yunjin is already sitting at one of the tables, wide awake and ready to hear your tale, but also the fact that she is with company: Yizhuo and Ryujin, respectively.
“Well, well, well,” she says with jokingly menacing crossed arms. She adds to the character a dubious expression. “What do we have here? Lee Heeseung’s girlfriend?”
Yizhuo laughs. “Are you serious? When were you going to tell us?”
From the other side of the table, Ryujin adds on. “Yeah, this seems like a pretty big deal!”
You sit down next to Ryujin, facing Yunjin’s excitedly curious eyes. She leans over the table and grabs your hands. “Tell. Us. Everything,” she enunciates every word for emphasis.
“Um,” you start oh-so confidently. You think back to the contract you “signed” and the storyline you decided with Heeseung. “I’ve been, kinda, seeing Heeseung since October—”
“October!?” Yizhuo yells. “Why’ve you been keeping this from us?!”
“We wanted to keep it lowkey before we decided if we were really serious about this.” The lies slip off your tongue easily, but they leave a bitter aftertaste. “I was talking with him about telling you guys, at least, right when Yunjin walked in on us.”
Ryujin raises a brow. “Walked in on you? Were you…?”
You slap her arm playfully. “Nothing like that, nothing like that! I meant at the café yesterday.”
“We’ve never even seen you two together… How lowkey were you keeping it?”
Yunjin looks at you expectantly. You avoid direct eye contact, afraid she’d be able to see the truth through your eyes. “We text a lot and facetime pretty much every night,” you explain, hoping it’s convincing. “And he’d sometimes come over, but we always made sure none of you would find out.” You make sure to slip in an apology at the end of the statement.
Yizhuo’s the one to wave her arm and deny your apology. “Girl, you got yourself a man, how could we be mad at you?” Her eyes widen in realization. “The prank call, oh my God!”
“Yeah, that took some explaining… But he thought Kang Hana was pretty funny.”
“Speak of the devil,” Yunjin teases, nodding her head behind you.
You turn around and lo and behold is Lee Heeseung himself, followed by Park Sunghoon and Park Jay. If this were a 90s romcom scene, their walk would be in slowmo, the camera would pan to girls and boys fanning themselves as they walk by, some would be fainting in their path. Sunghoon would have to step over someone’s unconscious body, Jay would pick a rose from the bush and hand it to one of his followers and they would blush until their whole face is as red as a tomato.
Instead, they’re walking at a regular pace, but you notice the way seems to run through their hair perfectly. That’s what you get when you’re jaw-droppingly attractive, you think. And then you furrow your brows at your thoughts.
When the boys get closer, Heeseung smiles. “Hi, you.”
“Hi,” you say in return. Your heart beats faster.
“So,” Jay, the one on his left, says. “You’re Y/N.”
You nod. “Nice to meet you—”
“Y’know, it’s funny ‘cause Heeseung never mentioned you?” The question throws you off, more than the smile he has plastered on his face. “Keeping it hidden from us like we’re Dispatch, or something.”
Heeseung places his hand on Jay’s shoulder, taking the lead. He sends you a reassuring look before speaking. “It was my idea, mostly,” he explains. “Let’s not take it out on my girl.”
My girl. You smile shyly.
Addressing your friends, Heeseung smiles politely. “It’s nice to meet you all.”
“You too,” Ryujin says.
“You better be treating her right,” Yunjin says teasingly, but with a touch of seriousness, if you know her right.
Heeseung raises his arms defensively. “She’s the one to decide on that front.”
You laugh. He’s really good at this. “Don’t worry guys, he’s been good to me.”
The two of you share a moment in silence, just watching each other. Heeseung’s the first to break it, not necessarily looking away, but ending your silent conversation. “I take it you dressed for our date, right?”
You blink at him in confusion. “Where are we going?”
“So you really didn't see my text?” He pouts. You’re almost convinced he means it. Wow, I’m going to have to step up my game.
“Sorry, I was really busy studying, I shut off my phone for the day after you left.”
He tuts at you jokingly. “Well, I guess it’ll have to be a surprise.” He extends his arm and offers you his hand. Automatically, you take a hold of it, letting him pull you up in the process. Heeseung turns to your friends and smiles politely. “Again, it was nice to officially meet you all, I’ve heard so much. And—” Facing his friends, he says: “I’ll text you later.”
Then, you’re off, holding hands as he leads you to the parking lot.
The car ride isn’t too long, luckily. You find yourself anticipating what Heeseung has planned, only for you to crush that anticipation when you remember what this is all for.
Her, not you.
Although, you still don’t know who she is.
“Will you ever tell me who this girl is?” you ask as he takes another turn, arriving in a parking lot. Finally in view, you realize you’re at Plus One Games as you watch the big, bold glowing sign. “The arcade?”
“She works here,” he says, promptly ignoring your first question. He pops the keys out of the ignition and turns to you. “Are you ready?”
You hum and the two of you make your way to the comically large front doors. He holds it open, and you thank him as you walk past him, staring in awe at the decor.
Plus One Games is known for its grandeur in the gaming world. You didn’t grow up in these areas, but you’ve heard all about it. It’s expensive and you wonder how Heeseung is able to afford it—He must really like this girl.
The lobby is decorated like a gameboard, the stands where the employees greet the customers resembling game pieces, meanwhile there are signs pointing in every direction to where you may want to go, which look like signs straight out of a Super Mario Bros game.
Unbeknownst to you, you begin to wander while you’re looking at the set-up of the entrance, entranced by the level and precision of the design. Heeseung notices, however, and grabs ahold of your hand, spinning you on your heels and leading you to the cloakroom.
“Can’t let you get lost,” he teases, his head nodding to your hand in his which he raises to eye level.
You flush in your spot, unable to get yourself to pull your hand away.
After depositing your coats and changing into the shoes the staff hand the two of you by the door, you’re quick to let Heeseung guide you through the games and stations. He clearly has a map set up in his mind by the way he easily glides through the place, your hand still tightly in his hold.
He brings the both of you to the bumper cars first, wearing a cheeky grin as he handsomely gestures for you to step into the rink before him. To play along, you bow gratefully like an heiress guided by her guard. He laughs, placing a hand by your lower back to help direct you.
How could someone forget how fun bumper cars are? Because now you’re reminded of the joys of ramming your rubber-ringed play car into the people around you. Luckily, it’s not too crowded, so you have plenty of room to strategically avoid Heeseung’s attempts to knock you over, only to turn around and get him instead.
You’re full of laughter, and so is he. In fact, his face is completely red and you can only assume that yours is a similar shade.
Your laughter doesn’t even die down when the dispiriting buzzer sounds in the mini-arena, prompting the cars to stop in their place and the employee to safely instruct you and the other customers on how to get out.
“So, where to next?” Your smile transcends into your words, but you don’t care enough to be self-conscious about it.
Heeseung pretends to be in deep thought, plastering a dramatic pout of curiosity. “Where to… Where to…” he repeats. He lifts a finger in the air in perfect timing with the music blaring through the speakers above. You laugh at the movement. “Let’s try to win some prizes, hm?”
You assume this is probably some kind of way for him to say that the girl he likes is working the counter. Either way, you agree.
“Ice ball,” he suggests.
“I’ll have you know—” You flick your hair behind your shoulder for character. “—I’m kind of a pro at this.”
He raises his brow. “Oh, are you?”
Instead of responding, you grab the keycard and swipe it across the gamepad, watching as the game’s sign lights up as it starts up. Balls roll out from the dispenser and you grab your first one. You pretend to give it a kiss before rolling it up.
It does not go on.
Heeseung laughs.
You clear your throat and try again. The second does not go in.
Nor does the third. Or the fourth.
“Maybe I should try,” Heeseung proposes playfully.
“Fine,” you grumble, though not seriously. You go on to say he has no shot, the game is rigged and—
His first try goes in.
And his second. Then his third.
The game rings “Winner! Winner!” and tickets begin pouring out of the gamepad.
Heeseung ends up beating you in every game you play, always winning a ridiculous amount of tickets or a silly prize that comes with it. Pinball, mini-basketball, Spin-It-To-Win-It, you name it. He even beats the claw machine which is famously rigged in these kinds of places. You suggested it just to see Heeseung lose, yet here he is flaunting his little stuffed turtle he pulled out of it.
He waves the turtle in your face and you swat it away from you. “Aw, c’mon, Y/N, you don’t want Mr. Turtle?”
“You named him Mr. Turtle,” you deadpan.
He smiles cheekily. “It’s a fitting name.” He then takes your hand by the wrist, flipping it over so your open palm faces upward. Gently, Heeseung places Mr. Turtle into your hand, closing your fingers around it. “Here, you can have him.”
As much as you want to keep up your stingy role of a sore loser and throw it back at him, you shyly thank Heeseung for the gesture and place Mr. Turtle comfortably against your bag, so he can look out into the world without you needing to worry about him falling off because he’s safely attached to the strap.
After a match of laser tag—which you end up winning with Heeseung because you were against another couple—a couple of PEOPLE!—and then racing up to the top of the rock climbing wall, you grab a couple slices of pizza together and call it a day.
The pizza is greasy and frankly a little gross, you’re convinced it’s leftovers from yesterday, but it’s just what you need.
Heeseung comes back to the table with two bottles of pop. “Which one?” He raises both for you to see your options. You point to the red one, probably some off-brand strawberry or raspberry flavoured soda, and he passes it to you.
Chugging down the mystery drink, you find yourself content with the day's events.
When you get to the car, Heeseung holds the door open for you once again. You thank him quietly, getting in at the same time. You force your head down to stop yourself from watching as he makes his way around to his side.
It’s silent for a moment as he turns on the ignition and pulls out of the parking spot. The way he places his hand against the back of your seat, his arm in full view, makes your heart stutter. You take a second to compose yourself.
“So.” You look up at Heeseung with telling eyes and a teasing smile. “Did you see her?”
His mouth opens in a mute ‘ah,’ but he shakes his head, keeping his gaze on the road ahead. “I guess she wasn’t working today.”
And honestly, you can’t even be mad about it because it went so well. You tell yourself this is just a stepping stone in the fake relationship. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
He drives you back to campus and follows you all the way to the building before you tell him he doesn’t need to come up with you. Although he tries to push it, it’s hard to ignore how tired he is from the way he drawls.
As you walk back into your dorm, you’re greeted with your phone buzzing to infinity with messages from the girls’ group chat. You laugh at their bickering as they wait for your updates and you almost opt to stay silent to see how far it goes.
The following days go on similarly. Between hanging out with your friends, attending classes and studying for midterms, you’re going out on dates with Heeseung. Fake dates, but you soon learn he’s a really good actor.
Then you update the girls on the happenings of the date, steadily avoiding the parts hinting at your deal.
Your first date following the arcade is at the library. At first, you don’t see how Heeseung would consider this a date, until he shows up at your dorm with roses and chocolates. “Bring these with you,” he says. “She should be studying there for another hour, or two if she’s really into it.”
You abstain from commenting on the fact that if she’s “really into it,” is he even sure she’ll notice either of you, because you’re in need for a good study session with a friend, and as much as you love your friends, they have a hard time focusing when you’re all together.
It’s nice. Heeseung is as hard of a worker as you remember from the previous semester. Every now and then, you’ll look up and find his eyebrows furrowed at the paper in front of him, so you ask to help him out if you can. He does the same to you, you realize. As you look down at your notes, biting your lip at the same phrase you’ve been staring at for a while now, Heeseung taps the table right in front of your book with his pencil. “Need any help?”
You only remember once he brings you back to your dorm that you never asked about the girl. You’re not even sure if she was there since he didn’t say anything.
Yizhuo is offended that you find your girls-only study sessions unhelpful. Ryujin playfully slaps her shoulder.
For another date, he takes you to the movies.
“And this is helpful… how exactly?”
He shrugs and raises a hand to sheepishly scratch the back of his neck. “I may have told her I wanted to see the movie. And then I may have panicked buying them in front of her, I don’t want to risk her seeing me bring someone else when I said I’d bring you.”
“This could’ve been your chance to invite her to the movies!”
“And make her think I’m a cheater?” He shakes his head twice. “Besides, this is what we’re fake dating for. You and I can still go as fake-boyfriend and fake-girlfriend, if you don’t mind.”
Of course you don’t mind.
The movie is okay. It’s not really your style, nor is it Heeseung’s, if his distasteful grimace as he’s walking out of the cinema says anything.
“You didn’t like it,” you tease with fake concern.
He looks like a deer caught in headlights. “No,” he defends. He even raises his hands to wave them around as he searches the air for an explanation. “It was—You know—When they—Right?”
You laugh and place your hand on his shoulder. “I’m kidding. I didn’t really like it either.”
Heeseung places his own hand on top of yours and you feel your heart stutter. In a panicked moment, you try to rip your hand away, but it gets caught in his shirt, so you have to awkwardly pull it out from underneath.
Yunjin asks you about the movie itself, and you can’t seem to remember much about it besides Heeseung’s face at the end of it.
One of your favourite—fake—dates with Heeseung is when he takes you rollerblading. (You never ask how this is related to the girl he’s trying to impress. What? You’ve always wanted to go rollerblading.)
You both invite your friend groups and get to see them bond, which is both weird and endearing.
Yunjin holding onto Sunghoon and Ryujin’s hands for dear life as they’re the only two that are decent at roller skating and she’s on the verge of face planting whenever she steps on the rink on her own.
On the other hand, Yizhuo and Jay are equally bad. Yizhuo has horrible coordination and Jay… just can’t move. He can’t even take a step forward, just waves his arms around as if he’s swimming and it’ll somehow propel him. So, Yizhuo just keeps magnetically crashing into him, causing them both to fall down and need to recalibrate themselves from the boards.
Heeseung is a champion at it, as anyone would’ve expected. Though, he falls back to follow your pace, which is slow, but not agonizingly so, or so you hope.
You haven’t had the chance to go rollerblading in a while, and you end up tripping up over your own feet. Luckily, Heeseung is still there by your side to hold you so you don’t fall.
“Thanks,” you say to him, harshly gripping onto his arm to make sure you don’t.
At the end of the night, when your friends have already called it in, catching an uber or taking their own cars back, you and Heeseung stay a little while longer.
You’re sitting by the bleachers on the outside of the rink, Heeseung still freely skating on his own. He’s skating much faster, now, you notice. And he’s doing it with a big smile on his face which you can’t help but mirror when you’re watching him.
Later on, you notice he wears the same, but more subtle smile when he’s with you in the car, laughing and chatting while music blares from the speakers and the windows are rolled all the way down.
After a few weeks of date after date, midterms come up.
You and Heeseung made an agreement not to go out during this time. It gives the both of you time to recharge and focus on studying. It’d be useless to go out anyway, since his girl would probably be doing the same, you think but avoid saying.
When you make the modifications to your arrangement, you assume this means less frequent texting or calls, but those stay the same. Heeseung texts you good morning and is the last to say good night before you fall asleep, just as he’s been doing the past few weeks. You come to think that you’ve become really good friends over this time together.
You also assumed this would give you a break from acting like a couple, but Heeseung once again has other plans.
One afternoon when you don’t have classes, someone knocks at your door.
Normally, if someone’s at the door without texting you beforehand, it means it’s just another one of those door-to-door students campaigning for whatever new project they’ve come up with. Or, occasionally, it’s your next-door neighbour who’s going to warn you about being loud while working on their next project, whatever it is they’re doing.
This time, however, you’re met with a bouquet of flowers and an otherwise empty hallway. The bouquet comes with a note, that reads:
Good luck on your midterms! My two-lips will be ready to reward you once they’re over… (Sorry, Sunghoon told me to write a pun.) (Fuck why’d I write it in pen? There aren’t even tulips in this bouquet???) (This is from Heeseung BTW)
You laugh at the extra scribbles and smudged half-written words on the rest of the paper.
And it’s like magic, the way his words encourage you to keep studying, keep working harder. You pass your midterms with flying colours.
Heeseung invites you to the café on campus to celebrate, and said you needed to discuss something. When you arrive, your chocolate mocha is already sitting in front of him, on the opposite side of the booth.
He smiles when he sees you come up. “Hey.”
“Hey,” you say back. “So, what did you want to tell me?”
“Well, first—” He raises his cup. “To passing midterms!”
You clink yours to his, smiling. “To passing midterms!” You both take a sip of your drinks before setting them down and looking at each other intently.
“So,” he says firmly. “I still haven’t given you your end of the deal.”
That’s right. You agreed on this whole shenanigan as long as he gives you an in on the Park family business. If you’re truly willing to become a lawyer, getting Jay to give you a good word to his father would mean a lot of doors opening, some that you’d never open otherwise.
It’s funny that something so big and important to you slipped your mind over these past few weeks.
Then you remember how you’ve discussed this would be happening. “There’s a party?”
Heeseung nods into his drink, getting a bit of foam on his upper lip. You almost lean over the table to wipe it off yourself, but instead you hand him a napkin, avoiding his eyes as you laugh nervously. “Thank you,” he whispers. Once the napkin’s down, he returns to business. “Tomorrow night at Jay’s actually. His dad won’t be there, unfortunately for you and fortunately for, like, everyone else attending.”
You nod. “So, this’ll be our first big event as a, albeit fake, couple?” Nerves begin to feed in your stomach and suddenly you’re not so thirsty. Your hands naturally start fidgeting with your cup.
The last time you went to one of the campus parties was the first week in the new year, last semester. You remember it all too well, meaning not at all. You’ve never been the best at calculating your tolerance, but that time you really went overboard.
For one, it’s embarrassing, but you also don’t want to do anything with Heeseung.
“Yeah,” Heeseung agrees nonchalantly, but he leans lower in concern, looking to meet your eyes. “But it’ll be okay, just like any of our other dates. Fake dates. Just pretend that you’re the infamous Kang Hana.” Then he adds: “But don’t be late this time.”
There he goes, making you laugh so easily.
Over the next few minutes, you agree that Heeseung will pick you up and drive the both of you to Jay’s not too early, but not too late. Jay isn’t big on wanting his friends to help him set-up, so he’s fine with whenever they decide to show up.
And when you do, you’re struck by awe, your mouth hanging agape at the… everything.
You’ve known Jay was rich, but you never considered he’d be this rich.
The black front gates leading up to a long driveway. The pillared entrance archway. The enormous garden wrapping around the household. The fountain. The white walls which are interrupted by full length windows looking into the modernly decorated mansion.
Jay stands by the door holding a blunt. Wispy smoke draws circles in the air as he exhales. “Look who it is,” he says with open arms, tossing the rest of his joint to the ground.
The boys dab each other up and Jay nods his head at you as a greeting. A chill passes through your body. You hug your body tighter underneath your jacket.
Heeseung places his hand comfortingly on your waist, pulling you closer to him so he can whisper in your ear. “If you want to leave, just say the word.” And when you shake your head, he leans in again. “Are you ready, Kang Hana?”
You decide that you are.
The party is nothing remarkable.
As promised, Heeseung makes sure to give you a chance to talk with Jay and perhaps get an ‘in’ on his father’s company. It seems to go well enough, although Jay mostly just agrees with what you’re saying, trying to move on from the topic of his dad and law.
But other than that, it’s just like any of the other parties that you’ve been to with your friends.
Music. People making out in every corner. Loud music. Couples dragging each other upstairs not-so-secretly. Decent food, despite Heeseung telling you about Jay’s personal chefs being top tier. And did you mention agonizingly loud music?
You still manage to have some fun with your fake-date, though.
The one thing that really stands out is the fact that most girls are keeping their respectful distance from Heeseung.
Usually, he would be surrounded by a dozen, at least. A couple hanging off his arms, some standing behind him, others even kneeling in front of him. They create an entourage around him like he’s some king they worship, and yet today you don’t even see a speck of that lifestyle.
It dawns on you that word really did get around about you and Heeseung.
You even lean in to tell him this much. “Your girl definitely knows,” you tell him. “Is she here?”
Heeseung looks around almost half-interestedly in the others, turning back to you with a smile. “No, I don’t think so,” he says, but he doesn’t sound too bummed out. Maybe it’s the drinks. “Do you want another drink?”
Only later on do you realize you really haven’t learned your lesson on your tolerance.
After your probably fifty-something-eth song on the dance floor, Heeseung calls it quits, having drank just as much, but clearly being able to hold himself together better.
He bids goodbye to his friends, letting you wave at them in your drunken state and gets you in the car to drive you back.
You stumble into Heeseung’s arms as you make your way out of the elevator on your floor. “Oops,” you laugh.
He makes a nervous sound before adjusting his arms to hold you properly with his hand holding onto your waist. “We’re almost there, Y/N,” he whispers, gently tugging you forward on your wobbling legs.
However, he freezes in his tracks when he’s met with your friends waiting by your door.
“Oh,” Yunjin says. “We thought—”
“God, we thought she died or something, she wasn’t answering our texts,” Yizhuo interrupts. “Are you guys gonna…”
“No, no,” Heeseung answers quickly, waving his free hand. “I was just making sure she made it safely back to her dorm.”
You cheer out of the blue, just glad to be there.
Heeseung reaches into your jacket pocket for your keys, the jingling sound making you laugh some more. He tosses the keys to Ryujin. “Here,” he says. “I’ll just bring her to bed—Uh! Not like that, I meant, like, make sure she sleeps.”
Yunjin shakes her head reassuringly. “Here, let me take her. We’ll take care of her, if you don’t mind.”
He doesn’t respond for a second, turning to look at you. The drunk-flush on your cheeks makes your eyes pop, he notices. Unknowingly, a soft smile creeps up on his lips. “Sure, sure,” he eventually says.
When he’s out of sight down the hall, the girls tug you into the room. They bring you to bed, helping you kick off your shoes and take off your jacket, but not bothering changing your clothes—who knows what kind of a struggle that would be.
The process proceeds in a comfortable silence, but not for you. You’re itching to speak, say anything. Something about the drinks in your system makes you feel chatty, so you say the first thing on your mind. “Heeseung’s so pretty.”
“I hope you think so,” Ryujin jokes. “He’s your boyfriend.”
You laugh, turning over to face away from the girls. “No he’s not.”
“Yes, he is,” Yunjin reassures, trying her best to get the blanket over your body to properly tuck you in, but you keep rolling away from her touch.
Watching you shake your head back and forth, Yizhuo curiously pushes. “What do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?”
“It’s just, like, a scheme,” you whisper the last word mischievously, wearing a cunning smile and waving your hands mysteriously. Laughing to yourself, it takes you a moment to notice your friends’ confused expressions when you look over at them again. “What?” You look up at them with a dazed smile.
“So… You and Heeseung,” Yunjin starts with furrowed brows, trying to assess the situation. “You’re not even dating?”
“Nope!” you say with a laugh, enunciating the ‘p’ with a pop of your lips.
From behind you, Yizhuo lets out a sigh of relief.
This time, Yunjin frowns at her. “What’s that about?”
“Sorry, sorry,” she says hurriedly. “It’s just that if Y/N and Heeseung were actually dating, the whole reveal would’ve been really awkward.”
“What reveal,” you ask.
She pulls her lips in, suppressing a laugh, before waving her hands and starting to confess. “So, remember how I said I slept with Heeseung at a party last semester?” Memories of her flaunting her newfound womanhood and maturity swarm your mind. You nod, yeah, I remember. “Well—” She tilts her head guiltily. “I lied.”
You blink slowly at her. Once, and twice, before shaking your head out of pure confusion. “Wait, what? Why would you lie about that?”
Yizhuo looks over at Ryujin and Yunjin as if they’ll help her. From the less than expressive faces, you can tell they already knew. She scratches the base of her neck awkwardly. “I don’t know, I guess for status, or whatever.”
This sobers you up instantly. “Status? Like sleeping with Heeseung’s some kind of badge you get to wear around?”
She laughs nervously. “Well, no. But like, I don’t know, Y/N, I was just fucking around. I told you guys that when I was, like, really high.”
“Doesn’t excuse the fact that you’re treating him like some kind of object?” You’re always one to try to see the best in a person, in a situation, but you really can’t find it in yourself to defend Yizhuo right now. “He’s not just some fuckboy, Ning, he’s sweet, and kind, and cares about the little things, and—”
“So, you do like him?”
You sputter confusedly. “What are you even talking about?”
She stares at you dumbfoundedly. “You like him. You’re, you’re defending him,” she explains matter of factly. “Do you know how many girls he’s hurt ‘cause of his little hobby of hooking up and leaving them in the dust?”
“That has nothing to do with what we’re talking about. Admit it, Ning, you fucked up.”
She raises her arms defensively. “Fine! Maybe I did! But so did he. Multiple times with so many people. It’s weird that you’re on his side with this.” Sighing, she rolls her eyes. “Fine, I’m sorry for what I lied about when I wasn’t right in the fucking head, if that’s what you want to hear.”
You truly don’t know what’s gotten into her, but you also can’t be asked to bother caring. “Real mature,” you deadpan, realizing that that in itself is immature, too. “Get out of my room.”
She doesn’t even say anything to you. Just rolls her eyes again, mutters under her breath and tells the other girls they can come over to her place if they want. Yizhuo leaves with her jacket over her shoulder, not looking back.
“Go after her, it’s fine,” you tell Ryujin and Yunjin.
“Y/N—”
“Just go.”
They file out of the room in a hurry, and only when the door shuts do you let your tears of frustration fall. You slide down to the floor and cry into the palms of your hands with your knees up to your chest.
You’ve never had a fight like this with your friends. Sure, you’ve argued every now and then about stupid things, but something that left your chest heaving? All of this over a boy?
Your hands shake as you reach for your phone, your finger gliding past the group chat and your private messages with the girls—tempted to call them again, but you refuse—rushed to find the contact you've gotten so familiar with.
The line rings a few times, before you hear the click!.
“Y/N? Is everything okay?” His voice is laced in concern, which warms your heart. And when you tell him you want to see him, he doesn't ask questions and simply tells you: “I’m on my way.”
Heeseung gets to your dorm surprisingly fast.
Then he reveals that he never left the parking lot, not specifying why, and you’re blushing all over. You avoid eye contact, but he reads it as you avoiding the topic.
He tells you as much that you don’t need to go into detail if you don't want to, simply promising to be here. “It’s been a long night, you should rest.”
You lay down in bed, lifting the covers as an invitation.
He lays down next to you. “Is this okay?” And all you can do is nod.
Your curtains are ajar, you notice, watching the way the moonlight traces Heeseung’s features. His eyes shine in the dark, but yours drift down to his glistening lips.
He lightly bites his lower lip as he holds a strong gaze on your face, studying.
Just when you think he’s about to lean in and close his eyes, Heeseung surprises you with a whisper. “I think we should go to sleep.”
Disappointment runs through your body, but you agree nonetheless.
Your dreams are plagued by the shadow of a touch and big brown eyes.
The following morning, the first thing you think is, “I slept next to Hee—Ow, my head hurts really bad?!”
You groan as you push the blankets on the side, when you notice the other half of the bed is empty. The sight of it makes you frown, but then you hear rustling the bathroom and you let out a sigh of relief.
“You’re up?” Heeseung peers his head around the corner of the bathroom. His hair drips onto the flooring and evaporated hot water trails behind him. “I hope you don't mind. I took a shower.”
Not finding the words, you wave it off. Shaking your head proves to be a bad idea because you’re left clenching in your fists from the pain.
Heeseung frowns. “Headache?” When you nod, he points to your side table. “I left a glass of water—I hope you don't mind I took it from your filter—and an ibuprofen—which I took from your cabinet, I really hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s okay, Heeseung,” you tell him quietly, wearing a pained, but genuine smile. “I really appreciate it, thank you.”
He smiles shyly before returning to the bathroom. And then it dawns on you that he might not have been wearing clothes during your exchange. Your face flushes, again.
When he leaves the bathroom, it’s your turn to freshen up. You try not to think about it too much.
“What should we have for breakfast?” he asks casually, sitting by your desk and is still working hard at drying his hair.
Your eyes are stuck on Heeseung’s movements. The way he fiddles with the towel to dry his hair, his face scrunching as he swipes rapidly. You smile in silent laughter at his cute expression, but you don't say anything about it.
“I’m really craving a croissant.”
That’s how you find yourself, hands inching away from Heeseung’s as you walk, making your way down to the café.
He tells you to find your regular table, assuring you that he’ll order. There’s no point in protesting, plus your headache still hasn't completely dissipated, so you willingly agree.
It only takes a few minutes for him to come back with a caffe latte and a dark chocolate mocha as per usual, as well as two croissants in paper bags.
“How’d you know I wanted a dark chocolate croissant,” you ask, peering into its bag. It’s glorious, you note, taking it out, careful not to spill the freshly drizzled still-hot chocolate.
Heeseung shrugs. “You’re always ordering the dark chocolate mocha, so I figured you'd like it on your croissant, too. It’s good right?”
You nod and hum into your food as a response, too enthralled by the taste and Heeseung’s attention to detail.
Your outing together goes well, as they always have.
He doesn't bring up your tear-stained cheeks from last night or the sudden call, to which you’re glad. The conversation is light, but natural. Every now and then, he makes you laugh and forget all about last night's events—almost all of them. Lingering at the back of your mind is the moonlight across his face, his soft lips and the feeling that you imagined when looking at them; the feeling of them pressing against your own.
Heeseung insists on walking you back to your dorm, again. You’ve learned by now that it's useless to argue with him, as stubborn as he is. “It’s on my way,” he lies. “Really, it's for me, mostly.”
That second statement is less of a lie, you can tell.
“After you,” he says, gesturing toward the elevator.
You lean against the elevator wall, closing your eyes. “I’m so tired,” you say with a muffled voice.
After pressing the button to your dorm with no hesitation, Heeseung’s eyes darken with a serious air. “Are you sure you're okay?” He’s not really asking about right now, more so about everything that happened last night. Everything he doesn't know about.
You’re afraid of admitting to him that you drunkenly spilled the truth to all of your friends, and caused a fight because of it. Not to mention he was the center of it.
Internally, you decide not to tell him about Yizhuo’s damage. That’s something between her and him, and you're not going to push it onto either of them.
“You can trust me—” Then, he reassures. “Only if you're comfortable.”
You are. So, you start to put together how you’ll tell him in your head, but your thoughts are interrupted by a loud—
THUD!
“What was—”
THUD! THUD!
And then, you’re falling.
Shit. We’re falling.
Your brain stops working, completely freezing in your spot, the noise of the elevator screeching against its reins echoing in your head. Your heart pounds against your chest.
“On the ground!" a distant voice yells. Heeseung.
Right. That’s smart.
You follow his movements and lie down next to him, spread eagle. Your arms are practically on top of each other.
Heeseung grips onto your shoulder, shaking it. “We’ll be okay,” he says, though you're not sure if it's to you or himself. His eyes stay open widely, bloodshot.
Suddenly, the elevator stops in its movements. The unexpected stop makes your chest bounce, but altogether, you're okay. You’re okay. “Is anyone in there?” The voice is muffled from behind the closed doors, but you think you recognize it as one of the janitors from the building.
Hurriedly, Heeseung rushes to the door. “Yes, yes, we’re in here!”
“Stay there—Er, I mean, stay still—Or, just don't worry we’ll get you out of there. Soon.” The ending of his sentence doesn't bring much reassurance, but from your spot still on the floor, you force yourself to believe his words.
Heeseung doesn't seem convinced either, but he lets out a sigh and extends his hand to help you up. You take his offer and try your best to ignore the fire his touch alights in your stomach. “I guess we have some time.”
“I guess we do,” you say with an awkward laugh.
He doesn't say anything in response, giving you the chance to lead the conversation. If you wanted to completely ignore the subject at hand, you don't think he'd mind. This gives you the confidence to do the complete opposite.
You take a deep breath before sputtering, “I told my friends about our deal. Drunkenly, so like totally an accident, but I did and now they know and—”
“Oh,” is all that comes out of his mouth at first. You worriedly lift your eyes to meet his, though now they're glued to the ceiling, with his back leaning against the wall. “That's—That’s okay. What harm could they cause? Unless you're telling me they're planning on going around campus exposing us… But that's not your fault.”
This time, you say “Oh,” standing in silence and staring at Heeseung’s favourite spot on the ceiling, too. The panel twitches from above, and you can imagine the elevator crashing has something to do with it. “I also got into a huge fight with them, or maybe not all of them, but it was, it was bad. We've never fought like that.”
“What was the fight about?”
You, you want to say. How Yizhuo did something stupid and it somehow turned into being about your complicated feelings for him. But you can’t tell him all of it, that’d be too much for such a tight space.
Shrugging while trying to look unconcerned, you decide to confess a half-truth. For some reason, you can’t get yourself to lie to him. “They think our plan is a bad idea because you’d be supposedly ‘using me,’ as if I like you, or something…”
He’s silent, at first. Heeseung considers what you’ve said, neither comforting nor arguing against you for it.
“Do you?”
You turn to him. “Do I what?”
“Like me,” he answers. “Do you like me?”
“I…” you start lamely. Your eyes avoid his, but they always seem to find their way back to his gaze, your face flushing underneath it. “I can’t answer that.”
And neither does he.
Instead, he turns so his body is completely facing yours, coming much closer than he was before. You tilt your head toward his where your breaths fan against each other. Your eyes make the mistake of drifting down to his lips again, and you instantly lose all composure.
You lean in first, but he’s quick to follow your lead, placing his hands onto your waist, while yours find their way to the base of his neck.
The kiss is delicate, but sparks fly all around. Your stomach does a flip when you feel his tongue tracing your bottom lip, but you don’t deny him access for long.
Heeseung’s hands trail down your torso to your hips, where they inch backward to pull you closer into him. You follow his movements until he’s pushed against the wall with you tightly pressed against him. He flexes his arms around your body and flips you so your back is against the wall instead, with him hovering above you.
His knee is drawn between your legs pressing against your core, eliciting a moan, but it doesn’t go further than that. Soon enough, your movements are slowing down, though your heart is still racing in your chest.
When you separate, your mouth hangs open. “Heeseung…” you whisper, but before you can say anything more, the doors slide open.
“Are you okay?” The janitor that you predicted would be there is standing by the buttons, holding a handy-man suitcase for the electrician kneeling in front of the panel. “Anyone get hurt?”
You brush off any dust from your back, adjusting your shirt and hair to be more presentable. Also to erase the memory of whatever just happened. Did we really…? “No. No, we’re okay. Thank you.”
“Yes, we’re… okay,” Heeseung adds quietly.
You don’t even wait for Heeseung, rushing toward the staircase on the other side to get to your floor. For a moment, you hear his footsteps behind you, but once you’re up halfway, you realize he’s given up and you let out a sigh of relief.
You don’t really want to face him now, not after what just happened.
Luckily for you, you don’t need to face him for a long time afterward.
You stare at his latest text (”assignments are pretty crazy atm let’s reschedule our next fake dates”), trying not to focus on your heart tightening at his word choice, and quickly reply:
ME sounds good! see u :) 10:11
The week goes by slowly and quietly.
With Heeseung mostly M.I.A besides the occasional short-worded answers to your texts and you actively avoiding running into your friends, you’ve had a lot more time for yourself and you notice how much you hate it.
So, you pluck up the courage to text the ghosted group chat, asking the girls to meet together at the café. You all need to talk, whether any of you like it or not.
Though, the reason you even have the motivation to do this at all is because you know the girls have been making an effort to talk. Although not in the group chat, your messages have been spammed daily with apologies and questions about your daily life, to keep it casual. You also received a note during the class you share with Ryujin which read simply: “Love ya xx”
You smiled at it before crumpling it and stuffing it into your bag—What? You were trying to make a statement.
Now there’s no need for theatrical note crumpling, with the three girls surrounding you at your regular booth. Yours and Heeseung’s, you mean. It’s the comfiest there, you convince yourself when making the natural choice to sit there.
The space is filled with awkward silence as you sip on your mocha, feeling even more stuffy when the girls don’t make a move to drink their own orders. You’ve had enough of this. “Guys… Let’s talk, or something. We’re still friends.”
“I’m sorry,” Yizhuo says out of the blue. “Seriously. That was really messed up and I shouldn’t have said it. And I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did, you had every right to be mad.”
You smile softly. “Thank you,” is all you say, taking her hands in yours and squeezing them. You lean your head against her shoulder and the two of you stay like that for a while.
“You really like Heeseung, don’t you?”
Your head shoots up at Yunjin’s sudden question. You stumble over your words, trying to suppress the blush from spreading up to the tips of your ears, but you feel the heat anyway. “No, no, I—I don’t. No.” You shake your head for emphasis, but Yizhuo looks at you with telling eyes.
“Sure, I believe you,” she says, completely meaning the opposite.
“I just—” you start, not really knowing how you feel. “Our whole set-up, it’s—it’s fake. He doesn’t feel the same. I don't even know why he kissed me—”
“He kissed you?!”
Before you have the chance to respond, your phone buzzes, drawing your attention thankfully away from your accidental reveal. It’s Heeseung. Great.
희승♡ there’s a party at sunghoon's, you wanna come? 14:23
ME when is it? 14:23
희승♡ tonight @ 10 14:23
You look back up at the girls to find them staring at you with knowing smiles. It’s not hard for them to notice who you’re texting, or the way your eyes glint at the messenger.
“So,” you tell them. Yizhuo and Ryujin lean in, while Yunjin raises a curious brow. “Who wants to go to a party?”
Sunghoon’s house isn’t as grand, but it’s just as prepared for a party as Jay’s. Music blares into the driveway as you, Heeseung and the girls make your way to the door. Nobody is standing by it with a blunt, but the wide-open entrance is welcome enough.
“You guys go in,” you tell the girls, making a sign for them to not protest. They don’t, understanding your unspoken signal and heading inside. You turn back to Heeseung who looks more nervous than he’s known to be nonchalant. “Hey…”
“Hey,” he says back.
“It’s been a while.”
He hums, looking off to the cars spilling out into the street, nodding at nothing. “I’m sorry, I was, uh, busy,” he clarifies.
A chill passes between you, but you’re not so sure if it’s the wind or the awkward air. Either way, you’re happy to have brought a jacket to bury your hands in.
“You made up with your friends,” Heeseung notes suddenly.
“Yeah, we talked earlier.” He’s not going to bring up the kiss, you conclude, and neither are you. Maybe you can go on and forget it happened altogether. “We sorted it all out.”
Heeseung gives you a genuine, albeit small, smile. “That’s good.”
Scenes from the elevator rush through your mind. His hands around your waist, his lips against yours. The way it all felt, how consumed you were of him. How good it was. You blink it away and gesture to the door. “Should we…”
“Let’s go,” he says, then adds, “Kang Hana.”
You laugh. Okay, you think, we’re okay.
And with Heeseung by your side, the night is one to remember.
With the music ringing loudly throughout the house, after a few light drinks, you and Heeseung spend your time dancing with your hands on each other, rhythmically guiding each other to the melody. You almost forget there are other people in the room at all, closing your eyes and only thinking of the man holding you in his arms.
When the fourth or fifth song ends, you separate, only for him to run his hand down your arm to grab your hand on his own. He leads you to one of the rec rooms.
“There she is!” Yunjin’s drunken voice makes you giggle, the buzz getting to you, too.
“Hi, hi,” you tell her and the others.
Yizhuo is busy steadying her aim, holding onto a ping pong ball just past her nose with one closed eye, to greet you, but Ryujin waves sleepily from her place. She’s leaning against someone you recognize from one of her study groups. They nod to you, too.
“Hey,” Heeseung whispers, leaning into your ear.
You giggle at the feeling of his words against your skin. “Hey, back.”
“I’m gonna go get another drink, you want one?”
You nod eagerly, letting your fingers fiddle with his even as he begins to walk away. When he’s gone, your hands linger in the air for a moment more, missing the warmth of his hold.
Suddenly, the warmth comes back, though it’s different.
Turning around, you’re faced with Jay. “Can we talk?” he asks.
Wordlessly, you nod and let him guide you through the crowd of people to a more secluded area.
“What’s up?” You try to steady your voice, but it comes out higher pitched and perky out of instinct, still feeling the adrenaline of the buzz.
“Heeseung told me you wanted an ‘in’ at my dad’s firm?”
Your eyes light up. “Yes, yes I do!”
He chuckles at your excitement. “Well… I can give you his details so you can get into contact with him. I’m also technically not supposed to tell you this, but—” You lean in expectantly. “—they're picking out students for a co-op over the summer. Maybe I could put in a good word, slide your application at the top of the pile…”
“You can do that? Seriously!?”
“I can’t guarantee it’ll be with my father himself.” He raises his arms in defense. “But I can definitely get you some connections on the inside.”
Your hands come up to your mouth, holding it from going agape in honour. “Thank you, oh my God, thank you,” you repeat for good measure. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Don’t worry about it.” The air shifts as he moves closer to you. Jay’s hand lands on the wall not far off from your head. He leans in, his breath tickling your skin, making your cheeks flush. “Maybe you could thank me by letting me take you out?”
For a moment, you’re frozen in your spot. How are you meant to react? Heeseung’s best friend hitting on you? What would happen if he saw? Wait, does it even matter? You’re not actually dating. Right?
But the elevator…
“Hey,” a familiar voice sounds from behind you. Heeseung steps forward, the lights of the party illuminating his features dimly. His face wears an uncharacteristic anger in his furrowed brows and hardened jaw. “Back off.”
Jay simply laughs, retracting his hand. “Why do you care,” he taunts.
You try to keep your composure. Jay hasn't been the nicest out of the group, but you never expected him to sound so mean.
You watch as Heeseung refuses to reply, not wanting to push Jay even more as he’s clearly too buzzed to have a coherent conversation. He tries to grab onto his arms and lead him away, but Jay’s quick to push them off.
“You don’t even like the girl,” Jay slurs.
Heeseung gets closer to him, grabbing his arm and talking into his face to make sure he listens. “You’re drunk, Jay, back off.”
Jay isn’t having it. He tosses his head back in a laugh. “Don’t tell me you actually fell for her?” he asks in a venomous tone. Your stomach churns as you watch their interaction. A smirk grows across his lips. “You owe me.”
“Fuck off.”
“What?” You weren’t going to step in, already feeling shaken up enough from tonight’s events. But Jay’s words ring in your mind. “What does he mean you owe him? What, what is he saying?”
Heeseung’s eyes lock with yours, pity and sadness ghosting his expression. “Y/N, I can explain—”
“We made a bet,” Jay cuts in. He shrugs Heeseung’s hands off of his shoulders. “He had to get any girl on campus to fall for him, leave her in the dust and watch her crawl back.” He turns to Heeseung with a mocking pout, his steps wobbling. He’s really drunk. “Doesn’t matter that she won’t come crawling back, ‘cause you’re too soft to leave her.”
“What’s your problem,” Heeseung shuts. “Are you jealous? That’s fucking low, even for you.”
You can’t even see him properly, your vision blurred in tears. Your breath catches in your throat as you want to say something to interrupt, come between. But you can’t even stand being by Heeseung right now. “A bet? This was all a bet?”
He turns to you quickly. “Y/N, please, let me explain.”
You shake your head, tears running down your cheek, surely ruining your mascara. “I have to go.”
Maybe it would make sense if you let him explain. Maybe he could somehow salvage the situation, but you can’t hear it. Not right now. Not after everything you’ve felt for him, everything you still feel for him despite the ache in your chest.
From behind you, Heeseung calls your name. “Wait, please!” You ignore him and run out of the house.
Your body shakes. “Should’ve brought a sweater..” you mumble bitterly. Then you remember that you did, but you left it inside. You also realize that you left all of your friends behind without a word. “And my phone,” you groan. You could easily turn back around and get them, but you’re already halfway down the road, you can even see your building in the distance.
It’s too humiliating to go back now, anyway.
How could I be so stupid? you think to yourself. Lee Heeseung, going out with you out of his own free will? Stupid. Impossible. Just a dumb fantasy.
It starts to rain. You curse at the sky.
When you finally make it to your dorm, stumbling up the steps because of course the elevator still hasn’t been fixed, you go straight to bed without washing up. You’re too tired for this. And, you realize, you drank too much to care.
You try to fall asleep. You really do.
But your head keeps replaying Jay and Heeseung’s conversation. The way Heeseung lips parted when Jay revealed it all. The way he looked at you, begging for you to listen to him. It’s all stuck in your head and in fear of it following you into your dreams, your body refuses to fall asleep to ignore everything.
Just as you’re about to take your pillow and scream into it, you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone.
희승♡ i’m right outside your door 02:23
희승♡ you have every right to slam the door in my face 02:23
희승♡ or not open it at all 02:24
Staring at the messages, you bit your lip in consideration of your options.
You could, A. Not get up. Keep the door closed and never speak to Lee Heeseung ever again. Or, B. Get up, open the door and see what he has to say to explain himself. You’re liking the former, but your feet move on their own toward the entrance.
You lift yourself up to peer through the peephole. Heeseung is standing there, fidgeting anxiously in his stance. He looks from right to left a couple times, down to his phone, back up, and closes his eyes. After a deep breath, you watch him begin to walk backward, slowly.
Something snaps in you. You open the door.
His eyes widen at the sight of you. You’re probably still a mess, eyes red from crying paired with tear-stained cheeks and running mascara. You don’t even want to begin to picture the state of your hair. Yet, he looks at you in awe. “Hi,” he whispers.
“Hi,” you whisper back.
Wordlessly, you step back to motion for him to come in.
Heeseung follows you onto the couch, where you sit down to look past the TV in front of you and stare at a blank space on the wall. You feel his eyes on you.
“I’m sorry,” he then says.
You don’t reply.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he starts again. “But can I tell you everything from the start? I need you to know what really happened. Then, you can go on to hate me.”
I don’t hate you, you want to say. You don’t speak, nodding for him to go on.
Ironically, considering he was drunk out of his mind, Heeseung remembers the moment he got your call.
He and the boys were hanging at Sunghoon’s, originally just planning on playing video games and getting high, but then Sunghoon mentioned his dad’s stash. “Whiskey and lemonade, anyone? Rum and coke? Dirty Shirley? If you’re feeling creative,”
Who was Heeseung to deny?
And so, soon enough, they were drunk enough to forget the weight on their shoulders and act more carefreely. This is when Jay decided to come up with a brilliant idea.
“So we all know Heeseung’s a whore—”
“Hey,” he interrupted. “I haven’t gotten some in, like, four months.”
Jay laughed, taking another swig of his drink. He grimaced as the liquid burned down his throat. “You’ve basically fucked half of the campus, but it’s always one night and that’s it.” Heeseung nodded, not sure where he was going with this. “Bet you can’t get someone to fall in love, or some shit.”
He couldn’t help but raise a brow challengingly. “What? You think someone wouldn’t fall for me if I gave them flowers and took them out?”
“Have you ever even actually dated?”
The answer was yes. Technically. If you count middle school relationships. Otherwise, fine, he’ll admit to himself that he hasn’t ever dated anyone seriously. That’s just ‘cause he hasn’t found anyone he’s really interested that he knows would be into him, too.
Of course, there was you. You were the first person he ever fell head over heels for. Heeseung didn’t even know he was capable of falling so hard, but he did.
Though you would never like him back. You’ve already confirmed it.
So, Heeseung clapped his hands determinedly. “You wanna bet on it?”
But before Jay could answer, his phone rang.
The contact felt familiar—Note Giver—but his mind couldn’t register. “Hello,” he said confusedly.
Some commotion on the other side took him by surprise.
“Um… Who is this?” Sunghoon looked at him curiously, wondering what could’ve interrupted their moment.
The girl, he presumed, on the other side hesitated for a moment. There was more noise before she said: “This is… Hana…”
“Hana?”
“Kang. Kang Hana,” the girl clarified. Y/N. He finally realized it was you. “We met at the, uh, party last Friday. At Jay’s.”
Heeseung considered your words, wondering where you were going with this. At the same time, he accidentally spilled his drink. “Shit,” he whispered away from his phone. Sunghoon tossed him a towel with a big smile on his face. When the mess was mostly cleaned, Heeseung brought the phone back to his ear, cleaning the rest of it with his other hand. “Kang Hana.”
“Yeah, we had a good time together, didn’t we?”
He paused. “I guess,” he said slowly. He wanted to have a little fun with this, listen to your voice a little longer. “Can you remind me?”
You began to tell the tale about your supposed encounter, spinning the story into something that genuinely impressed Heeseung. Every now and then, he hummed, trying to suppress a laugh at your creativity. He doesn’t even want to know why this was happening.
“I’m so sorry, I left you in the dirt and—” Your voice was cut off by a squeal, shocking him.
“Woah!” he yelped, pulling the phone away once again. Jay couldn’t hold his laugh at Heeseung’s reaction.
“Who is it,” he asked.
Heeseung didn’t miss a beat before responding without really thinking. “Y/N.”
He practically hears your heart drop. “You knew it was me?”
“Obviously,” he replied with a chuckle. “Took me a second, I’m a little tipsy, haha.” He didn’t want to throw you off by admitting he was more than buzzed, so he told a white lie. As long as he was coherent enough to have a conversation, he thought it was fine.
“Oh, am I interrupting?”
“You’re never a bother, babe.”
Why did I say that? Maybe he’s more drunk than he thought. It just slipped past his lips, he doesn’t know why. Were his fantasies meshing with reality that he couldn’t help himself? Heeseung tries not to watch Jay’s face morph into something mischievous.
“Huh,” you said, which made Heeseung cringe.
Jay mouthed something in his direction. He tried to read it, but it must've been something along the lines of “Her. She’s the girl.”
Heeseung knew what he meant and mentally hurled the empty chair to his right at him. Back to the phone conversation, he tried to change the subject. “Are you with the girls?”
You told him you were, and he took this as an opening.
As much as he wanted to keep talking with you, since it’s been so long, he needed to get away from this conversation to recover from the embarrassing slip-up. “I don’t want to keep you if you’re having fun. Text me later though, okay?” God, when does he stop talking?
You confusedly told him “Okay?” before you cut the call.
He was already typing a message to apologize to you for his behaviour, but Jay was already telling him to play along with it some more. The bet was on and he decided that you were going to be the girl.
Heeseung felt a knot form in his stomach.
“I should’ve just come clean when we met at the café, but I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He ends his retelling at that, you fill in the rest with your mind.
You’re not sure what to say. You have so many questions and comments spiralling in your mind, where do you even start? “There was never a girl?”
“No… Just you.”
Stuttering, you just have to ask. “Why me?”
“Jay told me to go for you, said it would be a challenge. I was stupid enough to go along with it. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, I wanted to tell you the truth, but I… I really like you, Y/N, I didn’t think you’d want to be with me if you knew the truth.”
“You called me babe.” Is all you say.
“What?”
“On call. The first time. You called me babe. I thought that was you playing your role.”
Heeseung lets out a shaky sigh that sounds more like a breathy laugh. “I was drunk,” he explains. “And I…” You look at him expectantly. “I’ve liked you since we met, and I guess it slipped up ‘cause I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
This shocks you. You blink up at him. “Since we met?”
“Well, pretty much.” He rubs the base of his neck awkwardly. “Obviously you’re really pretty, but it was more than that. You were always the first in class. You only answered the professor when no one else would, even though you definitely always knew the answer. You’re so well spoken, too.” You blush at his words. You never realized he had been so observant. You never thought anyone would notice so much about you.
However, you shake your head. “But you never said anything?” This truly astounds you. The everknown Lee Heeseung never made a move to even at least try to be with you. You can’t even know if you would’ve said no to him because well… he’s him. If you knew him the way you know him now, you know you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.
“Remember what I told you about the girl I liked?” You nod. “You’re her.”
You furrow your brows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Last semester, I went to one of the campus parties and you were there. You were drunk out of your mind,” he laughs. Oh, God, he remembers, too? “At first I was just admiring this new side of you. So carefree and so unapologetically you.” His eyes glint at the memory. You can almost see it replaying in your head. Almost because you truly can’t remember much of that night. “And then you ran off to the bathroom at some point ‘cause you got sick. I followed you to make sure you were alright, but you pushed me away.
“You told me to fuck off ‘cause you didn’t want to sleep with me. You called me a player and said you didn’t want to get roped up in that, or something. I think you insulted me some more, but your words were kind of all mashed together.” You flush. “I left you alone, but made sure to get your friends to check on you. And, I don’t know, I kind of lost interest in hooking up with random people after that.”
Your eyebrows raise, impressed. “You quit cold turkey?” He nods. “For me?”
He nods again.
“Wow… You really like me?”
“Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.”
You find yourself teetering on the edge of disbelief and joy, uncertain about how to respond to this unexpected revelation. Heeseung looks at you with such tenderness that you’ve never had directed toward you, to which your heart flutters with warmth.
His eyes shift from adoration to concern as you sit there in shock for a moment. “I know you probably don’t like me back, but—” he starts, but you don’t let him finish.
Driven by a surge of emotions, you lean in, pressing your lips against his.
As you kiss him this time, there’s a greater sense of assurance. Your first kiss carried an air of uncertainty, with both of you unsure about each other’s feelings. The way you felt when pulling away left your stomach in knots, thoughts of insecurities and worries running through your mind.
You let go of your hesitation, now, focusing solely on this moment. The way your lips connect to his, the way he smiles into the kiss and the way you pull away to look at him with telling eyes.
“I love you, Kang Hana,” Heeseung tells you.
You reply with a laughing smile. “I love you, too, Lee Heeseung.”
A ringing phone blares in your ear early in the morning. You groan, eyelids barely awake since even the sun hasn't come up yet. “Hello,” you mumble into the receiver. “Um… Who is this?”
You recognize the chuckle from the other side. Suddenly, you’re much more awake. “I’m sorry, Love, did I wake you?”
“No! No—” you scramble but are cut off by a yawn. Heeseung laughs softly again. “Yes, you did, but that's okay. Why're you calling so early? How are you even up?”
“I couldn't sleep.” Then, he adds more teasingly. “Not without you.”
You can practically hear the wink he sends.
“I wanted to watch the sunrise, and then I thought that maybe you’d want to watch it with me?” He says it like a question, as if he's not sure. You shake your head even though you know he can't see it. “Maybe I should've thought this through…”
A giggle escapes your lips without warning. “It’s fine, Heeseung. How about you come over and we’ll watch it by my window? Unless you have a spot?”
He hums assuredly. “No, no, I was just gonna watch it from mine, too. I’m actually, uh, already inside your building.”
He’s so ridiculous. You laugh to yourself before telling him to come up—You unlock the door, only for him to appear right on the other side as you do it.
“Hi,” you tell him with a bright smile despite your tired eyes.
“Hi,” he replies quietly.
You’re lucky your window is facing the east, with little to nothing blocking your view from the clear bluish-orange morning sky, aside from some trees, but they only add to the landscape. The sunrise is beautiful, but you conclude that Heeseung is much more beautiful, especially with the way his eyes reflect the sun rays that hit through your window.
For a moment, you shut your eyes to appreciate the heat of the rays. “Beautiful,” Heeseung murmurs.
And when you open your eyes, you realize he’s looking at you.
Sim Jaeyun — TOO FAST TOO BAD
Jake is known as the city’s famous drift king, a legend in the illegal street racing world, completely untouchable and invincible. However, when you're assigned to work undercover as a racer for an investigation, you don't expect that getting involved with Jake would mess with your morals and most importantly, your heart.
PAIRING: — Street Racer Jake x Cop Reader (f)
GENRE: fluff, a bit of angst, super suggestive, smut, slow burn, illegal street racing au (inspired by fast and furious)
WARNINGS: lots of heavy making out (pool, car, bedroom, bathroom) yeah they're freaky, a bit of dirty talking, petnames, skinship, small slow burn, mentions of alcohol, guns and drugs, fighting, a little bit of cursing, morally grey characters, mentions of death, etc. Jake is blonde from the beginning till half of the story. Enhypen OT7 + one oc for the plot.
WC: 23k — masterlist - perm taglist
— Author Note: Guys I know this is long but it's totally worth it, I swearrr. I've been thinking about writing this for a long time and it's finally hereee, so I'm really happy. Hope you guys like it ♡
The tire tracks on the asphalt formed a random pattern that not even forensics could figure out how many cars had passed by. The smell of gasoline was as natural as the dew that night.
As the loud music contrasted with the sound of laughter from the countless people there, you mingled through the crowd with your arms crossed, trying to get a better view of the 4 cars positioned in the middle of the track. Your low-waisted jeans bothered you as you felt the wind hit the small skin patch on your back.
“It's the king!” One person shouted and the crowd began to make room for a red convertible to pass and park next to the 4 positioned cars. “Make room for the king to pass.”
The applause and cheers were deafening as Jake stepped out of the car. His bleached hair shone in the streetlights and his smile was almost mesmerizing. He had an aura that was noticeable from afar, no one there could take their eyes off him.
He was leaning against his car with a tall man beside him.
“If the king is present today, then it will be a good race.” A girl next to you commented and you looked at her trying to get more information about that environment “Who's this king? Can he drive?” You asked and she looked at you with a look of shock, as if the question was absurd “If he can drive?” She scoffed “Do you know what DK stands for?” You shook your head and she looked back at Jake. He looked eager to see tonight’s competitors. “It means Drift King. Besides being an incredible racer, he is also the best at drifting.”
You somehow knew he was a key player in all of this, but apparently, he was much more respected than you expected. He clearly is the leader who brought people together there.
“How can I meet him?” The girl gave a sarcastic laugh, shaking her head negatively. “No one can get close to him like that, only the best racers.” She looked into your eyes and whispered “That is, if you fall into his good graces.”
You remained silent, watching as the sound of the car engines warming up shook the environment. A few guys seemed to be trying to get Jake's attention, some with explicit flattery and others with fearful comments disguised as compliments. He remained unfazed, looking through the crowd as if nothing could shake his inner peace.
“Alright, the race is about to start.” A young boy with a few piercings in his ears stood in the middle of the cars talking about how it would all work. “Rules are simple, entry is 2 grand in cash and winner takes all.” The racers looked at each other through the open windows of the cars and Jake smirked at the tension in the air.
“Ready, set,” the boy yelled, “Go!” He lowered the flags and the crowd went wild with the sound of the cars speeding away. Your eyes lit up as you saw how the whole scene seemed to fit together. The loud music, the night lights casting shadows that nicely adorned the custom cars, and the smell of burning tires.
As the race went on, you watched Jake's face from afar. He seemed to have everything under control with a melancholic look as he watched the cars turn at exorbitant speeds.
You weren't used to this environment. It was different from anything you had ever seen or experienced in your life, which increased your curiosity. You were starting to realize why these races would attract so many people's attention. The customized cars, the adrenaline of the races, and the smell of nitrous oxide were somehow fun.
As they crossed the finish line, the people there cheered as they saw the winner get out of his car. He gave Jake an expectant look as if he wanted recognition. Jake just smiled and without saying a single word turned to get into his car and leave.
You walked away from the crowd and left the place thinking how this is going to be more challenging than you thought.
☆
“Congrats on your promotion.” Jay approached you with that gentle smile that only he knew how to give “I'm glad we can work together in this case.”
You smiled and bumped his closed fist “Yeah, me too.” He sat down next to you at the huge conference room table. Your boss, who was already seated, silently looked at you both before turning on the computer and starting the meeting.
“Finally, we can start the meeting.” Your superior cleared his throat and turned on the slides. “As you know, the new drug in circulation is causing many problems like sudden deaths in young people in their 20s, but the only clue we have about the culprit is in the middle of these illegal races.”
A photo of the places in the city where the races would probably take place appeared on the screen. “Our informant got the information that there are probably some drug dealers from the creator of this drug in the middle of the races. If we capture at least one of his drug dealers, we can get to the culprit.” He looked at you. “What were your impressions of the place?”
You sighed “The easiest way to infiltrate and talk to the people there is to gain the trust of their leader.” Your boss and Jay paid attention to what you said “He is the most respected by people there. He is tough and is not impressed by ass-kissers, so I need to make a good impression.”
“How do you intend to gain his trust?” You gave your boss a side smile. “I have some ideas but I need you to cooperate with me.”
“Are you sure about this?” Jay looked at you worriedly “I think it’s too risky.” You leaned back in your chair “I trained for this, you don’t need to worry.”
Your superior nodded his head and sighed “What do you need?”
“I pick the car and I do things my way.” You leaned across the table and smiled. “To catch a king’s attention, you have to be the perfect entertainment.”
Your boss smiled in satisfaction. “Great. You start on Monday at your new apartment and job. Jay will cover for you during the week with whatever you need.” He stood up from the table before looking at the two of you. “Be careful.”
Jay looked at you and gave you a confident smile “C'mon my favorite racer.” You smiled, standing up with him patting his back “Let's go find a stupid dealer.”
The night seemed as exciting as all the others, but for some unknown reason, Jake felt that tonight's race would be different. He stood on the hood of the car watching the crowd approach the cars while drinking an energy drink to wake himself up. He was tired from the work he had in the car workshop earlier, but he wasn't going to sleep early.
“What are you thinking about?” Sunghoon walked over with his hands in his pockets “You’re quieter than usual.”
Jake smiled and swallowed the rest of the energy drink he had in his hand. “I was thinking about how I want to see an exciting race today.” He looked at Sunghoon. “I don’t wanna see a race that makes me regret not going home to sleep.”
Sunghoon chuckled and sat down next to Jake “Let’s watch and find out then.” He looked ahead to see more cars arriving at the scene. “But it looks like we’ll have some interesting things today.”
From afar, some familiar convertibles arrived, but one car in particular caught their attention.
A pink Toyota Supra MK4 arrived in the middle of the crowd, making everyone look at the car that had a red fireworks design on the sides. The men whistled in awe of the machine and the girls seemed excited to see that the driver was a woman.
When the door opened, you stepped out of the vehicle as if you were used to it. Jake looked at you from afar and gave you a mischievous smile “Who's that?” He asked biting his lower lip, analyzing you from top to bottom. Your denim skirt with some chains, your long black boots, and the tight pink blouse that adorned your beautiful body.
Sunghoon smirked “I have no idea, but I want to know.” He and Jake looked at each other before getting up from the car and approaching the place where you were talking to a racer.
'hey baby, wanna see my car?' 'let me see what your front can do pretty.' A few men around cat called you, but you just ignored them rolling your eyes and focused on showing a confident posture. You knew you had to focus on your mission and the first step is to make an iconic entrance and gain trust from the drivers.
“Damn babe, what a machine.” A boy who clearly looked younger than you approached your car looking at all the details “Wanna show what you got in there?” He pointed to the hood of your car and you approached him with your arms crossed.
“Not yet.” You smiled and the boy ran his hand through his hair “ C'mon, don't play hard with me.” He pointed to his car “I can show you mine.” You slightly turned your head to the side thinking of his proposition and he smiled “I'm Ni-ki by the way.” He held out his hand and you shook it gently “I'm Y/N.”
You smiled before bending down slightly to open the hood of your car. Jake watched the interaction (and your thighs) with curious eyes.
“Since you are so curious, here.” You showed the engine of your car and Ni-ki approached, narrowing his eyes “You're kidding me.” He widened his eyes in shock “You got a cool-air intake, NOS-fogger system and a T-Four Turbo with nitrous injection?!” You nodded and he gave you an airy laugh “That's crazy shit.” He suspiciously looked at you “Wanted to keep this a secret for the race, huh?”
You smiled and closed the car hood before sitting on top of it. “Exactly.”
Your little interaction were interrupted by the crowd greeting Jake and Sunghoon who approached you.
“What's up Ni-ki.” Jake fist-bumped Ni-ki “Sup king, gonna race tonight?” He shook his head and turned to you “Nah, today I want to see the new talents.”
You smiled at Jake who was staring at you shamelessly “You're new here.” He spoke to you and you rejoiced internally knowing that you managed to get his attention “I am, and you're the famous king I've heard of.”
The people around cheered and Jake walked over to stand in front of you “Didn't know I was famous.” His deep voice answered you and you stood up again “You are.” You crossed your arms and looked at him smiling “I was kinda hoping you would race tonight, that's sad tho.”
Jake ran his hand through his blond hair with a smile. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I want to see the newbies today.”
You nodded your head “That's good, because I'm racing tonight.” Sunghoon smiled and spoke to you “So you wanna race.” “Yeah.” He looked at Jake and smiled . “Since it's your first time here I should tell you the rules.”
His gaze was attentive and Sunghoon pulled a wad of money from his pocket. “You need to pay if you want a chance to run in our race.”
“How much?” Jake twirled the ring on his finger as he looked at you curiously “2 grand in cash. This or nothing.” He held out his hand and you stared at the tall man’s hand in front of you.
“Can I offer something better?” You asked and Sunghoon’s eyebrows arched “It depends on what it is, newbie.” He checked you out “What you got in mind?”
“Here's the deal, if I lose winner takes my car, clean and clear. But if I win,” You turned to Jake and smiled “I take the cash and I take the respect.”
Jake approached you, looking into your eyes, and shot a smile that could blind anyone nearby “You want my respect?” People around laughed “For some people that's all that matters.” He smiled in surprise at your response, clearly enjoying the conversation.
You stared at each other for a few seconds and Jake looked at Sunghoon with satisfaction in his eyes “Let her race.” He walked to his best friend’s side before turning to look at you one last time “Wanna see what this newbie has to show us.”
You smiled and Ni-ki whispered beside you “You're crazy. If you lose your car, you're gonna lose more than just 2 grand.” You turned around to Ni-ki “Then I just need to win.” Your gaze followed Jake and Sunghoon before he went to get in his car for the race that night.
☆
All 4 cars lined up on the track and your car was the first in line. On your right side was Ni-ki with his car, and then two more cars with a girl and another boy you hadn't met yet.
You looked to your left and saw Jake looking at you with an enigmatic smile.
Now would be the moment when you needed to put into practice everything you had trained. You knew you were a good driver because you’d already done many police chases, but this was different. You had to focus on everything at the same time and calculate the exact moment to overtake the other cars.
You started the car and pressed the clutch and brake holding the car in place. The volume of the cars engine along with the tires was so loud that you could barely hear the girl who was between the 4 cars.
When the flags lowered, you released the brake and accelerated with everything you had. The sprint the car made in seconds made you remember why you trained so hard for this, the adrenaline was indescribable. Ni-ki came out first and you soon after him. The other 2 cars stayed behind you two while the crowd went crazy.
You increased the speed and pressed the clutch, putting the car in 4th gear, while turning the car to the right slightly, blocking the girl who wanted to overtake you at all costs.
Ni-ki was the first to use nitrous oxide (NOS), creating a larger space between the two of you. “Too soon, boy.” You laughed before accelerating and putting it into 5th gear. Ni-ki looked in the rearview mirror and saw that you were approaching faster than he expected and he needed to save the last boost of NOS for the end of the race. “Shit.”
Jake was having fun as he watched the race from afar “She’s good.” He commented and Sunghoon let out a small laugh “Indeed.”
You pressed a button on your steering wheel and activated the NOS, passing by Ni-ki, giving a smile to the boy who frowned. “Sorry, gotta take the lead.”
When you turned around the cone that was positioned at the end of the street, you pressed the clutch downshifting and turned using the handbrake, not letting the power drop too much and slid smoothly, giving a slight drift before accelerating with everything. When you looked at your rearview you saw that Ni-ki wasn't going to give you a break.
The front of Ni-ki's car almost touched yours before you swerved slightly and you saw him smiling in the rearview mirror. "I need to end this kid now.”
His car caught up to you and you were side by side. Before he could retake the lead, you activated the last of your car's NOS and accelerated with everything you had. In a surprise, you saw the car of the boy who was in last place pass Ni-ki and almost catch you.
Ni-ki saw that the one who had passed him was Jungwon, so he decided that either he used his NOS at that moment, or he would not even have a chance of being 2nd place. Jungwon blocked both sides, not giving Ni-ki an opening, moving the car in a zigzag that irritated the boy. “Man, I hate when Jungwon pulls shit like this.” He decided to accelerate slightly to the right and push Jungwon's car to the left, hitting the right taillight of his car.
Jungwon got angry and pressed the accelerator, but Ni-ki was still pressing his side and used the last NOS boost to retake 2nd place. You, who were approaching the finish line, saw that Ni-ki started to hit the back of your car to slow you down and you blocked his view and stepped on the accelerator, making your back stick to the seat behind you and your hair fly back with the wind and the adrenaline hitting you.
Ni-ki managed to stay by your side again with a smile, but before he could celebrate you threw your car against his, making him brake slightly and you passed the finish line by seconds. You slowed down and braked until the car stopped completely and the crowd covered your car with applause and whistles.
Ni-ki arrived right after you, followed by Jungwon and the other girl last.
Your heart was racing with adrenaline, but you smiled happily at the victory. You got out of the car, greeting some girls who were celebrating around you as Jake crossed the crowd, clapping slowly with a look of satisfaction that let you know that you had done a good job there.
“You did it. Congrats on your victory.” He smiled and took the wad of money from Sunghoon and threw it into your hands. “You got the cash.”
You held the money thinking about how you’d never made so much money in such a short period of time “What about your respect?” Jake looked into your eyes that shone with a kind of anticipation that he found adorable. “That too.” He held out his hand and smiled. You shook Jake’s hand, feeling the calluses on his large palm. The way he looked at your orbits disconcerted you as if he could see right into you.
“That was crazy.” Ni-ki spoke to you, drawing your attention and making Jake let go of your hand. “Can't believe you hit me with your car.” You smiled before seeing the 2nd and 3rd place finishers arrive “Learned that from you.”
“Look who's talking.” Jungwon scoffed “You destroyed the taillight of my car.” Ni-ki laughed, scratching the back of his head “We do what we gotta do to win.”
“I agree.” You answered and saw Jake next to you, running his index finger across his mouth as if he wanted to say something important “Now tell me babe, that drift on the way back.” He looked at you “Where did you learn that?”
You knew that not everyone drifted because it was too risky, not to mention that it wore out the tires more and could make the car lose control. However, in one lap you gained an absurd amount of time. Your maneuvers had been practiced before, but the fact that you'd driven under pressure several times because of work was the best weapon you could have.
“I've got my secrets, you know.” You smiled seeing Jake amused by your reaction “I see… you're the mysterious type.” He leaned on the hood of your car looking at you “I like it.”
You felt your cheeks heat up slightly at Jake’s validation. Not that you needed it, but it was strange how his voice alone could change the vibe of the place.
As other cars arrived for owners to compare the best engines and the crowd began to disperse slightly, Jake spoke to you again “You know newbie, we're having a small gathering at Sunghoon's place right now.” He kept looking at you “You're welcome to come.”
Your smile was instantaneous “Sure, I'd love to.” He nodded his head “I'll lead the path, you can follow me.” he gave you one last look and smirked “That is, if you can keep up with me.” You air laughed “Of course.”
“I’ll hitch a ride with you guys, wait for me.” Ni-ki said excitedly going to his car “Me too, man.” Jungwon agreed and you smiled getting into your car. Now you were going to follow Jake and for the first time you could see him driving. Even if it wasn't in a race, you wanted to see the vibe of the famous king of the streets.
Jake got into his gray Nissan Skyline GTR R34. The two blue stripes adorned the front of the car and he rolled down the windows to look around to see who would be following him. He placed his right hand on the steering wheel and leaned his left arm on the window as he waited for people to make way for him to get out. As he accelerated, the wind made the blond strands of his bangs show off his forehead beautifully.
You couldn't deny it, Jake's vibe was priceless. It was much cooler than you expected, and way hotter too.
When you arrived at Sunghoon's house, there were already a few cars parked there, all customized. You parked next to Jake and got out of the vehicle, seeing Ni-ki and Jungwon also park.
Sunghoon's house looked big, not in a huge way, but a kind of house that looked comfortable. Jake locked his car and walked towards you with a smile. You analyzed his outfit, the black leather jacket adorning his beautiful shoulders along with the white blouse that perfectly highlighted his chest and abdomen. His gray jeans matched your skirt, making you wonder why you had this sudden association.
“C'mon newbie. I want you to meet a few people.” Jake snapped you out of your thoughts “Sure.”
“Hey, we're here too.” Niki said and Jungwon laughed “You're such an attention seeker.” Ni-ki nudged him “I want the VIP treatment too.”
“When you do a drift like she did I'll make sure to treat you well, Ni-ki.” Jake turned to the boy as they walked up the small stairs to the front of the house.
“HEY! That's a promise king!!!” The boy smiled as he took off the coat he was wearing “I'll make sure you remember this later.”
Jake rolled his eyes and you smiled. He looked at you curiously “Having fun, newbie?” The way his eyes always look right into your orbits makes you a little bit nervous “Yeah.”
“That's good.” He smiled and you entered the house seeing that there were more people there than you expected. “Small gathering, huh?” Jake was amused by your sarcastic tone “This is small for us.” He lowered his head so he could speak in your ear “I just realized I don't know your name yet.” His sweet voice blowing in your ear was like a cocktail you sip when you want to relax.
“I'm Y/N.” You replied, turning your face away, realizing he was closer than you expected. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.” He smiled “You can call me Jake.”
Jake. His name was Jake. It suited him.
“Hey Jake, Heeseung was looking for you.” Sunghoon called Jake interrupting their little interaction “Where is he?” Jake, you, Ni-ki and Jungwon walked through the crowd following Sunghoon until they saw a boy at the back of the house hugging a girl on the side while drinking a beer and laughing at something another guy next to him was saying.
“Heeseung.” Jake smiled and reached out to grab Hesseung's hand, pulling him into a light one-armed hug. “Sup Jake my king.” Heeseung's eyes checked you out “And who's this?” He smiled as if you were an interesting novelty.
“The newbie that won the race today.” Jake replied by putting his arm around your shoulders. The scent of Jake’s cologne invaded your senses “It was really surprising.”
“She won one race and you already invited her to our space?” Heeseung's tone had a hint of criticism mixed with interest “That must have been a hell of a race.”
“Yeah, it was. Gotta respect the newbie.” Sunghoon commented enthusiastically and you gave Heeseung a sarcastic smile “Next time you can watch me race and draw your own conclusions.”
The boys around laughed and Heeseung smirked “Yeah, I'll definitely come.” He held out his hand and you shook it “I'm Heeseung, you can count on me if you need any urgent repairs.” He said obviously looking at your legs as if there wasn't a girl next to him glaring at him “I'm Y/N.” You let go of the boy's hand and Jake turned you to introduce the other boys.
“You’ve already met Ni-ki ” He smiled with a wink that amused you “This is Sunghoon, he’s like my brother and helps organize the races.” The tall boy smiled taking your hand “Yeah, I figured it.”
“This is Jihoon.” Jake pointed to the boy next to Heeseung who seemed quiet and gave you a shy smile.
“This is Jungwon. He was our last newbie before you.” Jungwon smiled gently, “Hey.” His soft voice contrasting with his strong personality from the race amused you “You were amazing back there.” You gave Ni-ki a quick glance “I almost thought you were going to take 2nd place from Ni-ki.”
“Hey, I wouldn't let him take my place that easily.” Ni-ki defended himself and Jungwon sighed “Yeah, now I have to repair my car.”
“Tell me about it.” You smiled. “I’ll have to use the money I earned to repair the front of my car that hit Ni-ki’s car.”
“You can come to my garage, we repair our cars there.” Jake said making you think that was actually a great idea.
“Alright.” You gave a small smile before Jake’s phone rang and he looked at the screen and gentle smiled as his eyes softened “I have to get this, I’ll be right back.” As you watched him walk away to a quieter spot, Sunghoon offered you a drink “For you, the winner of the night.”
You knew drinking and driving wasn't good, but under these circumstances it would be suspicious if you didn't accept it. "Thanks." You took the bottle and clinked it with the other boys there.
As the loud music played, in the meantime you noticed that Jihoon didn't say much and just watched you with a strange look that you pretended not to notice. The boy soon left while you talked with Sunghoon, Ni-ki, Jungwon and Heeseung.
While you were talking, you discovered that Jungwon was the son of the owner of the auto parts store you were hired to work at, blowing everyone's minds. You also observed the movement around you, trying to see if you could find any clues or something suspicious, but most of it was just young adults drinking, talking, and flirting with each other.
“I'm going to the bathroom." You excused yourself and looked at everything. Nothing suspicious for now.
☆
After Jake hung up the phone he grabbed a drink and walked around the house greeting people, but he bumped into you coming out of the bathroom making him grab your shoulders. “Oh- sorry babe, I didn't see ya.” He smiled and you nodded “Okay.”
He gave you a mysterious look, noticing that you looked a little tired. “Do you want to go somewhere more private?” You looked at him in surprise and he smiled, putting his hands in his pocket. “I think you need some air.”
“Sure.” You smiled, following him to the balcony of Sunghoon’s house.
Sitting on the bench outside, the music from inside the house was muffled and you observed that Jake seemed calm. At the moment you decided you would enjoy any kind of interaction you had with him.
“So, are you enjoying the party?” He asked, looking at your features “Yeah, everyone is super nice and the drinks are good.” You took a sip of your drink, feeling a little sleepy since it was already past midnight.
“They are.” Jake sighed “Our races only work because everyone helps in their own way, you know?” You nodded and looked at him “And when will I see you race?” Jake smiled sideways, running his hand through his blond locks “Soon.” His eyes remained on yours “I’m missing making some people eat dust.” You laughed, clinking your bottles in a toast “Yeah, I get that.”
During the conversation, a part of you realized that Jake was mysterious, but at the same time, he had a natural magnetism that attracted people. Until the end of the night, you internally wished that the days would pass quickly because you wanted to see Jake in a real race.
You wanted to see the king in action.
Some random rap music played in the background of the store where you worked. Yang's Auto Parts store was one of the landmarks in the area, but today the movement seemed slow. As you leaned on the main counter, you were studying information about car engines and their differences in a specialized car magazine when you heard the sound of the door opening.
“Hello, may I help-” You looked up and saw Jake standing in front of you “you.” The smile he gave you certainly cheered you up more than it should have “Sup newbie.” He leaned over in the counter and you straightened up listening to his heavenly voice “A little bird told me that this store had the best pieces and the best attendant in town.”
Your eyes met Jake's dark ones and you smiled "You're right.” Closing the magazine, you turned to him “Tell me, how can I help you king?”
Jake gave you an airy laugh, placing both arms on the counter. “I need to place an order for some nitrous oxide bottles, a bumper for a Mitsubishi Eclipse model, and-” His face softened “invite you to a race, this weekend, if you're interested.” Your eyes widened and you stepped closer to the counter. “Yeah, count me in.” Jake scanned your lips briefly before returning his attention to your eyes “Great, give me your contact and I'll send the details.” He handed you his phone so you could save his number, and you felt a rush of euphoria at the realization that you had Jake's number and that you were finally going to see him race.
“Also, don't forget my order.” He chuckled getting his phone back “I need it in 2 days, max.” You accessed the store's computer preparing his order “Don't worry, you're going home today with these pieces.” You turned the monitor showing that what he wanted was in stock “Guess you're lucky.” He smiled before pulling a wad of cash from his pocket to pay “Maybe.”
You took the money, feeling his fingertips touch yours, making you a little nervous. 'I'm still getting used to his presence, it's nothing big.' You thought, putting the money in the cash register and going to the warehouse to get the parts he asked for.
Jake helped you with the heavy bumper putting on his red truck. After delivering everything he needed, he turned to you and smiled before saying goodbye.
“You have an eyelash here, babe.” His thumb gently touched your cheek as if he was wiping something there making your heart drop to your stomach “See you soon, newbie.”
“See ya.” He got into the truck and left, while you felt the place he touched burn.
'It's no big deal.' You mentally repeated it and returned to your workstation.
You felt like your prayers were quickly answered when you arrived at the location Jake had sent you on your phone. Unlike other races, the chosen place for tonight's race was a dirt road with cars that you could easily recognize even from afar.
The place was completely different from what your expected, looking more like a country street. The lighting was poor and the road didn't look as good, but oddly enough there seemed to be more people there than when you ran in the city. You parked next to Jungwon's car knowing that this was all because of Jake. Today he was going to run.
“Look who's here.” Sunghoon announced your arrival “Our favorite newbie.” Jake who was next to Sunghoon smiled seeing how excited you looked “I wouldn't miss this for anything.” Your gaze met Jake's “Finally I'll see the king race with my own eyes.”
“I hope I live up to your expectations, babe.” He replied and you noticed how much more casual he was that night. He wore a simple black shirt, a silver chain, and dark jeans. But he still managed to look stunning.
In all honesty, his friends looked fine too, but Jake was a different breed. He was the type of man who turned heads without even trying.
“Heyy, Y/N.” Ni-ki greeted you with a smile on his face “Glad you came.”
You gave the boy a side hug that ended up becoming closer to you than you imagined. Ni-ki was like your little brother. “Sup little bro, of course I would.”
“Sunghoon, help me with the police scanners!” Heeseung shouted from afar inside a car, adjusting a metal device. Sunghoon grunted lightly, but he knew it was necessary. “Alright.”
As the boy walked to Heeseung, you turned to Jake with a curious expression “Why did you choose this dirt road and not the asphalt?”
Ni-ki smiled and nudged you with his elbow “A race on dirt is where we have a better view of the drift.” Jake looked at you “And it’s also harder for anyone, including me.” He replied and you nodded “So that means it’ll be fun.”
“Exactly.” Ni-ki looked excited “Where do I sign?” You showed the small wad of money “Now I can bet this time.”
Jake gently took the money from your hand and smiled “Let me show you what I can do, newbie.”
☆
As you stood in line, you noticed how wide the street was. 3 cars were lined up on your right side, while Jake on your left was looking at you with a confident look that made you question what he was going to show you.
“Try not to eat too much dust, newbie.” He yelled out the window and you rolled your eyes with an airy laugh “hm, I don't know king, should I go after your crown?” Your response made Jake wet his lower lip with his tongue “You can try babe.” He smiled and turned to face the front of the street.
His profile was as hot as his green Mitsubishi Eclipse.
“Finally, racers be ready.” A girl in the middle raised the flags making the crowd scream while you felt butterflies in your stomach. “Set.”
'It's the same procedure, calm down and let everything flow.' Your thoughts tried to keep your focus in this moment of tension.
“Go!” The flags lowered and the cars sped off at a speed that raised enough dust to give anyone there a runny nose.
Sunghoon had taken the lead, but Jake soon caught up to him, passing diagonally in front of the cars, moving his wheels slightly, purposefully throwing dust onto the front windows of the cars. You quickly turned on the windshield, trying to regain your vision while closing the windows trying to not inhale any more dust.
“Son of a bitch.” Sunghoon cursed, dodging the dust and staying next to him. You were right behind, followed by Jungwon who zigzagged to make the view of the girl behind him worse.
Your mind was a mess and your senses were on edge. Jake was so much better than you expected, but you wouldn't give up.
You thought about using your NOS, but you still had a long way to go and didn't want to miss the opportunity to use it at the right time. While you were struggling, Jake was the first to use it, pressing the button near his gearshift, putting him even further ahead.
“You're not alone, bro.” Sunghoon activated his, standing side by side with Jake who continued accelerating without looking back.
Unexpectedly, Jake ended up going over a pothole that he couldn't see, causing the car to spin slightly. You activated your NOS and smiled as you felt a twist, but soon your smile fell when you saw that Jake had turned the car perfectly in 180 degrees and put it in reverse at an impressive speed. He was face to face with you while he was driving backwards as if it were completely normal.
At that moment you swore you felt time stop. As if everything was happening in slow motion, you saw Jake bite his lower lip containing a smile that was escaping, showing his white teeth and his blond locks perfectly messed up by the wind. He looked at you so deeply that for a moment you forgot you were running against him and you felt your heart race and butterflies invade your stomach, not because of the adrenaline, but because of the sight of Jake in front of you.
He was like an angel.
With a wink he looked back and activated his last NOS and distanced himself turning the car again, taking the lead leaving you speechless.
“Show off.” Sunghoon mumbled as he lost his position of 2nd place after Jungwon hit the back of his car and you activated your NOS, taking his place.
On the last turn Jake pulled off his perfect drift, an angle that had the crowd screaming wildly. You turned and accelerated, setting up your last NOS for the grand finale.
You paired your car with Jake's and activated your NOS, being able to see him through your window. He looked at you and smiled, pressing down on his accelerator. Before you could think, you saw your car lose power slightly and the front of Jake's car passed the finish line in one shot.
☆
You got out of the car seeing Jake being pampered with applauses and deafening screams. You approached laughing at the scene and he looked at you running his hand through his hair “Why are you laughing?” You smirked “Dude, I almost had you.” You pointed at him and the crowd laughed at your excitement.
“You lost and you still smile like that?” He smiled and turned to the crowd, raising his arms. “Even if it’s just for a few seconds, the real winner is the one who comes in first.” Everyone applauded and whistled, agreeing with Jake’s statement.
“You're right.” You approached Jake smiling sincerely “You won fairly, you deserved it.”
He stared at you for a brief second holding back a smile “Thanks, newbie.”
Before you could respond, the entire crowd surrounded Jake and the other contestants, wanting to celebrate his iconic victory. You turned around laughing but noticed something strange.
From afar, you saw Heeseung in Sunghoon's car make an apprehensive face, looking around as if he was afraid of something. He approached the police scanner and his eyes widened. He looked around with unusual hesitation and you felt anxiety take over you. Heeseung heard something suspicious on the radio and was taking too long to report it.
As if you could predict the future, you turned to Jake, but in a brief second Heeseung's voice came through the small radios that were in the cars. “COPS! RUN!”
The crowd crushed Jake and dispersed in a general confusion. “Shit!” You got into your car desperately, knowing that you couldn’t get caught by the police, or everything would go down the drain.
Looking back you saw everyone speeding away like crazy, but your eyes fell on Jake who was running on foot. Confusion crossed your gaze when you saw that his car was not there, and he was alone.
From afar you heard the sound of police car sirens and small red lights appearing in the dark night. You turned the car and accelerated towards Jake.
He looked to the side and saw you yell out the window “JAKE!” Concern written all over your face “GET IN!” He opened the passenger side door and jumped into your car before you started the car and drove off into the middle of the road.
Your anxiety increased significantly when you looked in the rearview mirror and saw that a police car was following you. “We need to lose them.” Jake felt his heart jump out of his chest as he watched you dodge the cars along the way.
“I know a shortcut.” He said and you nodded, waiting for his directions “Take the next alley on the right.” You turned the car around, slowing down the police, but they were still following you “Now turn left.”
You came to a crossroads with a traffic light in the middle. You looked and saw that it was yellow and would soon turn red. Jake looked at you as if you had the same idea.
“Smoke them.” He looked at you with that naughty smile that messed with your insides “Make them eat dust.” You smirked and stepped on the accelerator.
In less than a second you felt your heart stop when the light turned red and you crossed between the cars. The car jumped slightly with the speed and the unevenness of the lanes and Jake ended up hitting his temple on the window glass with the impact of the car on the ground.
The police car was left behind after accidentally hitting a car.
“WOOOOOOOOOH.” You screamed feeling the adrenaline hit your faces “LET'S GOOO BABE!” Jake started laughing at your excitement and felt more relieved before he realized his temple was bleeding “Shit, you're bleeding Jake.” The intonation of your voice conveyed your concern.
He touched his face and saw the blood on his fingertips before wiping it on the fabric of his pants. “It's fine, it's not that serious.” He sighed and sank back into the seat “No, Jake, I won't let you bleed. We need to care of that.” Jake watched you as you tried to locate the street you were on.
“Let's go to my house, then.” Jake said closing his eyes quickly and you swallowed hard “Alright, show me the way.” He nodded and you felt nervous because you knew you would be completely alone with him.
☆
Jake's house was smaller than you expected, but it was still big. The garage he worked in was right next door, in a shared building. You got out of the car feeling a wave of relief wash over you knowing you both were out of jail.
Jake opened the door waiting for you to come in “Ladies first.” He smiled and you touched his arm lightly “Thank you.”
His living room was simple but cozy. The slightly worn beige couch, the pictures of family and friends hanging on the walls, and the medium-sized TV adorned the space. “Make yourself home.” He smiled as you sat on the couch.
He picked up his phone and saw that he hadn't received any calls or messages from the boys making him worry about them. "Where's the first aid kit?" Your question took Jake's attention away from his phone and he turned to you "It's in the garage." He looked at you for a second "Come with me, there's something I want to show you."
You got up and followed Jake to the garage where he kept his cars and some materials.
On top of a cabinet Jake took out the box that had the first aid kit and everything he would need. He placed the box on top of a small table that was in the corner before turning to a car that was covered by a huge sheet and taking it out.
"First, I wanna show you this." He revealed a beautiful black impala 67 "My baby."
Your eyes widened at the sight of the beautiful car. Your fingers touched the shiny material of the hood hesitantly as you looked at every detail carefully.
"It was my father's." He blurted out "It's our greatest treasure."
You looked at Jake in confusion. "Our?"
He smiled, sliding his palm along the side of the car "Mine and my brother Sunoo's." Jake smiled, noticing the surprised expression on your face "He doesn't live here because he's in college, but we always talk."
"That's amazing. Do you ever think about racing with it?" He laughed bitterly at the question "No. It's a relic I want to keep because my father raced with it." His voice cracked a little and you noticed "He was a professional stock car racer, but unfortunately he passed away."
Your heart sank at Jake's revelation. His story was way deeper than you imagined.
"I’m sorry... I had no idea." You walked closer to Jake, lightly touching his forearm "He must have been an amazing racer."
"He was." He sighed, placing the cloth back on top of the car "I used to watch him from the stands with such pride, but one day he had a heart attack while maneuvering the car and ended up having a fatal accident."
He ran his hand through his hair before looking at you. "At the end, besides his love for cars, he left some possessions and some life lessons for me and Sunoo." You followed him to the small table and sat down next to him. "Sunoo was too young to remember everything, but I remember it like it was yesterday."
He was silent for a moment, and you opened the box, taking out a cotton ball, medicine and a band-aid. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He shook his head negatively "It's fine, I want to."
You nodded and looked into his eyes that seemed completely raw. As if there was no layer of "king" or the confident guy that made everyone attracted to him.
It was just Jake. An ordinary guy with dreams, disappointments and his own story.
"I still haven't thanked you for saving me from jail." You smiled at his comical tone "Thank you very much." He spoke sincerely, placing his hand over your knee and looking into your eyes. You held his chin and turned his face slightly to the right, looking at his injured temple. The blood had already dried on his skin.
"It was nothing." With your right hand, you held Jake's left cheek, stabilizing his face while you cleaned his skin with the cotton "It's like you always appear at the right time, like a guardian angel."
You gave him a hearty laugh as you finished cleaning his face and applied the medicine to the wound.
"I don't know if I'm a guardian angel, seeing as I almost stole your 'crown' today." He smiled mischievously and you felt your insides turn at his close proximity. His soft skin on your palm, his gaze fixed on yours and his messy hair were all too much for your heart. "I think you need to practice a little more before you try that." He said humorously and you smiled, putting the band-aid on him "Yeah, you're probably right."
Jake looked deep into your eyes while he brushed some strands of your hair away from your face. His right hand cupped the skin of your cheek making your body go completely rigid. "You're so pretty." He whispered suddenly and you felt your entire body heat up and your heart melt at his deep voice.
You swallowed hard as he glanced between your eyes and your mouth. Your stomach turned completely when he brought his face closer and you smelled his perfume. Jake swore he felt something inside him burn when you nestled lightly into his palm, your bright eyes staring so deeply into his. His mind filled with forbidden thoughts.
His warm breath fanned your face as he brought his face closer to yours, his lips almost brushing against yours.
"Jake, you there?" Sunghoon's worried voice cut through the air, making you and Jake quickly step away.
"Yes, Sunghoon." He spoke in a harsh tone "Where have you been?" You put your hand to your heart, feeling it beating extremely fast.
Sunghoon appeared in front of you, panting a little, placing his hand on his chest. "Bro, I'm so sorry." Jake looked at him clearly irritated "Sunghoon you took my car and I almost got arrested." He got up from the chair in an indignant tone "If it weren't for Y/N I would be behind bars right now." Jake pulled Sunghoon by the collar and he widened his eyes.
"Bro, Heeseung took my car and the police was right behind me, I didn't have a choice. If I stayed there I would be freaking arrested on the spot." He melancholic looked at Jake "Man I'm really sorry, I promise I'll make it up to you." Sunghoon looked desperate and Jake sighed letting his best friend out of his grip "I swear, anything you ask I'll do it."
Jake pinched the top bridge of his nose and closed his eyes briefly. "It's alright, Sunghoon. At least we're all okay." Sunghoon nodded his head and looked at you "Thanks Y/N for saving Jake's ass today."
You smiled and nodded "No problem." The boy then stopped and looked at you and Jake realizing that he probably messed up the mood. Embarrassed, Sunghoon scratched the back of his neck and smiled, "Sooo, I think I'll go to the bathroom, you guys can continue talking." He threw the car keys to Jake who caught them midair.
You stood up, your cheeks hot from the atmosphere that had set in. "It's okay, I need to go now." Jake saw how nervous you looked and approached you "Are you sure? Aren't you hungry or anything?"
You shook your head, putting your hands behind you "No, it's okay. I have to leave anyway; I have to wake up early tomorrow to take care of some things." Jake smirked seeing you smile gently "I'll walk you out."
You just nodded and said goodbye to Sunghoon, who returned the gesture.
The walk back was silent until you got into your car. "Be safe." Jake said leaning on your window. "Of course." You gave Jake a smile and he returned it "Bye, babe. " He whispered before making room for you to drive away.
You waved back at him before speeding up your car and driving away, the affectionate way he spoke echoing in your mind.
'Babe.'
“So, any progress?” Jay’s voice coming through the video call on your computer made you sigh. “Yeah, I’ve identified a suspect, he was acting strange in the last race.”
You leaned your back against the armchair you were sitting in at home.
While undercover, you and Jay have decided not to meet in person for a while, catching up with each other through regular video calls on ghost accounts so you can communicate safely.
“What about the leader? Any clues about him?” He asked and you felt your heart tighten slightly “Nothing. He hasn’t given any sign that he’s involved in this so far. Totally clean.”
Jay nodded, placing the box of noodles he was eating on his desk. “And this new suspect, what do you think?”
You turned your head to the side slightly “He certainly could have warned about the police much earlier, but he held back, as if he was thinking about something, but I could be wrong.” Jay saw how uncertain you seemed about the situation “To be sure I need more days to dig deeper.”
“Okay, but also pay close attention to this Jake and his friends. He might be involved and be good at hiding it.” Jay commented and you nodded “I really don’t think he’s involved, but I’ll check.” Jay’s eyebrows raised slightly at the way you talked about Jake, but he decided not to comment on it.
“Great. I’ll talk to you in a few days.” He ended the call and you sighed, closing the lid of your laptop.
☆
Jake was just finishing checking his engine's nitrous oxide direct drive when Jihoon walked into the shop with a grin from ear to ear.
"Hey man, it's looking nice." Jihoon looked at the engine and Jake looked at his friend with a side smile "I still need to improve some things, but it's looking good."
Jake looked at Jihoon who seemed strangely excited about something. "What's wrong?" Jake wiped his hands on a cloth he had next to him "You seem to be in a good mood today."
"Let's talk privately." Jihoon squeezed Jake's shoulder as he left the tools in the box below the car.
Jake followed Jihoon into a small room at the back, closing the door behind him.
"So? Why are you acting so mysterious?" Jake asked Jihoon, leaning against the table in the room.
Jihoon took a transparent package out of his pocket filled with small, circular pills of various colors. "I found the easiest way for us to get money."
Jake frowned at the sight of the package recognizing what it was "Jihoon, I already told you I don't want this shit around here, much less in our races."
Jihoon air laughed "The way you talk almost makes me believe you are a prude."
"I ain't no saint." Jake got up "But you know this shit is serious. It's destroying races and the drivers are getting sick. Some are dead, what are you thinking?" Jake's heart raced with the frustration of not recognizing his own friend in front of him. "Innocent people are dying because of this, Jihoon."
Jihoon felt his body tremble with anger.
"You know what Jake? You're so full of shit." Jihoon exploded and pointed his finger at Jake's face "You're not my boss to order me around like I'm your little dog." Jake pulled Jihoon by the collar "I'm not your boss, but as your friend I'm warning you." He looked right into Jihoon's eyes "If I see you around our races with this shit I'm gonna break your face."
Jihoon grabbed Jake's hands and broke free from his grip. "You are not as important as you think." he smiled mockingly "At the end of the day you are just a deluded idiot with an imaginary crown that can be stolen at any moment." He pointed at Jake "You aren't your father."
Jake punched Jihoon's face, making his back hit the white wall behind him. The boy flinched and touched the side of his lips feeling the blood drip from the bruise there.
"Don't bring my father into this." Jake was furious "If you think I race just for an imaginary crown then you don't know me at all."
"Fine." Jihoon scoffed at Jake "From now on I'll do my own stuff, you don't own me." He stared at Jake laughing bitterly "Let's see until how long you can protect your little races, King." Jihoon left the room, slamming the door as hard as he could, leaving Jake there alone.
After a few long minutes, Jake leaves the room and from afar sees you approaching in a white dress that completely messed with his mind. That air of natural beauty that you exuded was one of the things that made Jake want to ruin you with the touch of his hands.
“Did I arrive at a bad time?” You smiled with your arms behind you as if you hadn’t just heard the shocking argument between him and Jihoon and he gave a relieved smile shaking his head “At the right time, actually.” You couldn’t help but look at his arms that were exposed because of the black tank top he was wearing. How the veins on his forearm were visible, his striking shoulders and collarbone being adorned by his gold chain.
“So, what can I help you with?” He twirled a silver ring on his finger as he approached “I brought my car for you to take a look at.” With a clearing of your throat, you pointed to your pink car. “I haven’t had it serviced since the last race.”
Jake looked at the car behind you “And a little bird told me that you are the best mechanic in town.” You said in a mischievous tone, referring to what he had said when he visited you at work and Jake smiled holding your hip delicately. His hand applied perfect pressure to the spot.
“And the little bird is correct.” His eyes lingered on your figure for a few seconds before he released your hip and walked towards your car “Let’s see how your car’s engine is doing, princess.”
The way the nickname rolled off his tongue so naturally made your body fizz. The fact that you’d gotten used to always expecting something new in every interaction you had with Jake made you wonder how close you’d become without realizing it. Maybe the coexistence and conversations over the last few weeks had made you create a greater and unexpected bond with Jake, because you could no longer imagine what it was like to go a day without interacting with him.
He opened the hood of the car and leaned forward slightly to observe the machine. You stood next to him, analyzing every action and how his skin seemed even more radiant due to the orange color of the sun beginning to set. The way some blond locks fell in front of his face, adorning his drawn profile, made you a little nervous.
Unlike what you’d heard, Jake was alone in his garage. Normally, he would be with Sunghoon and Ni-ki working on something, but today he was there at your disposal. Your mind tried to remind you that you were on a mission, that it was just a job, but when you saw the way he smiled at you nothing else seemed to matter.
“You're actually really good at this.” Your eyes watched as Jake's hands meticulously analyzed your engine. “Have you ever thought about specializing?”
“In the past, I wanted to be an engineer or work at the stock car,” Jake confessed, wiping his hands with a rag he had hanging from his pocket, “but I decided to prioritize Sunoo’s dream.” You felt your heart tighten as you realized that Jake gave up things daily for the well-being of his family. “That’s how I started racing years ago, to make more money so I could pay for my brother’s college.” He laughed “But Sunoo is so smart that he got a full scholarship, so I help him with other expenses.”
Jake noticed how you looked at him with an indescribable tenderness in your eyes “Maybe after your brother graduates you can try.” Your hand instinctively brushed a strand of hair that fell in front of his eye “You have a lot of talent, it's never too late to start.”
His hands went straight to your hips, pulling you towards him. His face looked at you with such a specific desire that it was mesmerizing. “It’s okay, I already have everything I want.” He replied, staring into your doe eyes “I mean, almost everything.”
You felt butterflies in your stomach at the way he spoke, looking straight into your eyes. He could have been talking about anything, but internally you hoped he was referring to you.
“And my car?” You asked, swallowing hard “It’s great, in perfect condition.” He smiled and let go of you to close the hood of your car. “Don’t worry, your next race is guaranteed.”
You laughed and crossed your arms. “Okay, so how can I pay you for the service?” Jake’s eyes widened in surprise. He hadn’t expected that question, especially since he used to look at his friends’ cars without any financial return.
“I have an idea.” He smirked and walked past you. “Follow me.”
The fact that you simply accepted his suggestion and followed him even though you didn't know what he was going to suggest made a feeling of pride take over his body. That blind trust you had in him, as if you had no fear of approaching him, drove him crazy.
Jake opened the back door of his garage and you were faced with the backyard behind his house. There was a medium pool next to some plastic tables and chairs. You curiously saw Jake give you a mischievous smile as he took off his dark boots.
"It's so hot today." Jake's hands went straight to the belt of his pants, starting to undo it and you felt your heartbeat quicken at his actions "Let's cool off a little."
You couldn't answer. You were paralyzed by the sight of Jake taking off his shirt and then his pants, placing them on the floor near the edge of the pool and then jumping straight into the water.
"Aren't you coming?" He ran his hand through his wet hair and you shook your head, trying to keep your thoughts sane.
You just saw Jake in just his black underwear so you didn't know how to act after that.
With a few slow steps, you silently approached the edge of the pool and sat there, watching Jake swim without taking his eyes off you. You felt the cold floor beneath your legs as your feet got wet slightly. The water was a little cold, considering it was already early evening and the stars were starting to appear in the sky.
Jake swam closer to where you were, giving you a smile that he knew would knock you over "Suddenly you became so quiet." You gave him an embarrassed smile "I was just watching you." Your feet kicked lightly in the water "It looks like you're having fun."
"I am," He positioned himself between your legs and stood up, "but it would be better if you came to the water." You shook your head as he ran his hand through his perfectly messy wet blond hair. "Why not?" He asked looking at you with the most beautiful eyes in the world "I don't have a bathing suit." Jake's hands touched the skin of your legs, just above your knees, causing you to shiver instantly. He looked at you with a pleading look, as if he knew he could win you over with this.
"You don't need one." he whispered, running his hands up your legs. The angle of your vision was almost torturous, seeing how beautiful he looked beneath your eyes. His wet hair, the line of his shoulders, his sculpted mouth, and those eyes... the eyes of someone who wanted more than just a swim "Just take off your dress."
The butterflies that invaded your stomach were so many that you felt your breath catch in your throat. You couldn't say anything, you just looked at him as you felt his fingers squeezing your thighs, pulling them towards him.
He tilted his head slightly to the side as if he was waiting for your answer. You knew this was going too far, but you didn’t care. Not when Jake stood in front of you, dripping wet and with a look of desire that made your skin burn.
In an unexpected act, you decided to give in to your inner desires and your fingers traveled to the hem of your dress. Little by little you began to take off your dress, making Jake feel all his rationality disappeared as he analyzed your body. The way you took the dress over your head was torturously slow, but the view of your waist and your white lingerie made up for all the delay. You placed the dress behind you, close to Jake's clothes, so it wouldn't get wet. Jake felt his heart race as he watched you turn your face and gently step into the pool, not wanting to splash too much water.
Jake's hands gripped the edge of the pool, trapping you within the space of his arms. He was so close you couldn't think.
You started to feel conscious, seeing that you were in lingerie in a pool and consequently Jake could see your skin. For him, this was like a dream. The girl who suddenly appeared in his world and managed to mess with him, was now in front of him, half naked and with an expression that was driving him crazy.
It was impossible to resist.
Jake's right hand went towards your chin. With all the delicacy in the world he held your chin with his thumb and index finger and lifted it slightly, looking into your eyes. "Is it cold?" He asked and you shook your head. Your hair wasn't completely wet yet and he wanted to touch it so bad, to intertwine his hands in your strands and pull them back so he could get lost in your neck.
Your body collapsed as he stepped closer and his hand turned, pulling your jaw closer to his face. He stared at your little pout, the red of your cheeks and your bright eyes and there he knew how much he wanted to ruin you.
"Can I?" He asked quietly. His voice was filled with a raw feeling that made your legs feel weak "Y-Yes." You replied in a whisper and closed your eyes when you felt his soft lips touch yours.
If there was any part of you that was down to earth, it no longer existed at that moment.
Jake pulled your face tightly, enveloping your lips with his soft mouth in a slow kiss. After waiting so long for this moment, his lips moved slowly as if he wanted to enjoy every second, taking all the time in the world.
Your back hit the wall of the pool as he pressed his body against yours. His left hand went into the water, holding your waist, while his right hand grabbed the corner of your neck, pulling you towards him. You started to pant, feeling all the stimuli at once.
Your breath hitched as you felt his tongue slowly wet your lower lip, his teeth pulling at the skin there. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him towards you, making Jake groan into your mouth feeling the strands of his hair between your knuckles.
He smiled into the kiss, his right hand moving up to your jaw, his fingers on the corner of your jaw while his thumb slid between your bottom lip and your chin, pushing the spot so that you opened your mouth slightly. “Open up for me, princess.” He whispered desperately against your lips, his breath mingling with yours.
You felt your legs lose strength when you felt his tongue inside your mouth. What was once a slow kiss, became a desperate kiss as if he couldn't contain himself. Your moans were swallowed by Jake's mouth who kissed you as if he wanted to devour you.
His hands roamed your body as you pulled his face towards you. He looked even more handsome like this face-to-face. All his features were perfectly proportional.
Jake moved his right hand to the back of your hair, which was loose and slightly damp from the water in his hand. You felt a shiver run down your spine as he grabbed the strands and pulled them back with moderate force. He trailed kisses down your jaw to your exposed neck.
“Wanna taste you.” He whispered huskily into your neck as he peppered kisses across the area, his teeth sinking into your skin making you gasp.
“Jake.” You whispered his name feeling his left hand lower the strap of your white bra, his hand traveling down your torso “Yeah, say my name babe.” He said before kissing you desperately.
Personally, Jake couldn't remember the last time he felt this desperate. He wanted to have you close in a supernatural way, as if that wasn't enough. Jake wanted to touch you everywhere he could, taste you, make you come undone for him.
When his hands reached your hips, wanting to lower the fabric of your lingerie, his phone that was on top of his pants started to ring loudly. Jake stopped his movements and very reluctantly pulled away from your mouth.
You couldn't even think straight when he reached out to see who was calling him at such a crucial time. Jake looked at his own phone screen and saw that it was his brother.
He clicked his tongue and looked at you quickly. His mouth and cheeks were red and his hair was messy. He looked so hot wrecked like this.
“I'm sorry princess, it's my brother.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair “I gotta take this, please wait a bit.” He walked away and got out of the pool so he could talk to Sunoo and make you more comfortable.
You were freaking out. Internally you couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Jake was driving you crazy, that was obvious, but the fact that the desire you felt while kissing him was beyond comprehension showed that this had gone too far. What you felt was real, it wasn't pretend.
You had feelings for Jake.
From afar, Jake answered his phone, trying not to remember how completely surrendered you were to him seconds ago.
“Sunoo, you kind of called at a bad time.” He sighed and the boy laughed on the other end of the line “Aww sorry big bro, were you with someone?”
“Yes.” Jake rolled his eyes answering honestly as he watched you in the pool from afar. “Sorry for disturbing you and y/n, but I have good news.” Jake’s eyes widened when he heard your name “How do you know it’s her?” Sunoo’s cute laugh warmed Jake’s ear “It’s obvious that it’s her. The amount of times you’ve talked about her has already made me memorize her name.”
Jake gave an airy laugh “So? Why did you call?” Sunoo sounded excited “Just wanted to let you know that I'm going home for the holidays.” Jake smiled happy with the news “That's great, bro! You know how we've been missing you.” Sunoo sighed happily “Yeah, I miss you guys too. Now you can go, I don't want to take up any more of your time.” The boy felt relieved that it was nothing serious “And don't forget to take good care of my sister-in-law.”
Jake felt his cheeks flush at the comment “Okay, bye little bro.” He gave an awkward smile and said goodbye to his brother before turning to you, who had put your dress back on and was walking towards him.
“Where are you going?” Jake asked feeling like a loser as he really didn’t want you to leave.
“It was getting cold so I got out of the pool.” You smiled, feeling embarrassed. Jake saw how damp your dress was and how cold you looked. There were no towels near the pool so you probably just pulled the dress over your wet body.
“You’re not leaving wet like that.” He said seriously, but you felt your cheeks heat up at his comment “The car seat will get wet and you might get sick. Come to my room and I’ll lend you some clothes so you can dry off.”
He looked at you worriedly, completely forgetting that he was only wearing his boxers and you nodded, fixing your hair. “Okay.”
☆
The walk to Jake's room was silent, you didn't know what to say and Jake was trying to contain himself because he was happier than usual about what had happened in the pool.
He opened a drawer in his closet and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt along with a towel so you could dry off. “The bathroom is over there.” He pointed to the suite bathroom in his room and you went there to change.
While you were changing, he put on another pair of pants while lost in thought. He sat on his own bed and scratched the back of his neck thinking about how you were there, changing, in his bathroom, inside his room. You were alone and he couldn't stop thinking about the different scenarios he would like to play out at that moment.
Jake knew that the forbidden thoughts he was having were probably much more than a simple carnal and biological desire. Ever since he met you, he felt captivated by your presence and energy, and even though he tried to hold it back, every time you were in the same room, Jake couldn't help the feelings that invaded his interior.
He touched his mouth with his fingers remembering how minutes ago you were kissing and he smiled thinking how he wanted to do that again. How he wanted to touch you again and see what new features you would reveal to him.
When you came out of his bathroom wearing his clothes, holding your dress tangled with your lingerie, he felt his whole body go rigid. “Thank you, Jake.” He stood up and looked at you while you tried not to stare at his exposed abs.
“It’s nothing.” He swallowed hard, bringing his right hand to your cheek. “Y/N, can I say something?” You looked at him and nodded “Yeah, sure.”
He debated for a moment about what to say, as if he was afraid of your reaction if he confessed what he really wanted. “Don't go.” He pulled you by the waist, looking into your eyes “Stay with me.” He whispered and you gripped your clothes tighter.
You knew what this meant and honestly were aware that if you crossed this line there was no going back. It was obvious that you were more involved with Jake than you should have been, considering that your job was just to get close enough to find out what you needed, but you were starting to get attached to Jake's presence and it was messing with your convictions.
Despite your inner moral dilemma, you couldn't think of anything else when you saw Jake in front of you looking at you like that. You couldn't say a word, so you just kissed him as your answer. He instantly pulled you making you drop your clothes on the floor.
Something about seeing you in his clothes triggered something in him so Jake grabbed you by your thighs, pulling your body up and laying you down on his bed. Your back felt Jake's soft mattress and you buried your fingers in his hair as his torso hovered over you.
Like a dream come true, he buried his face in your neck, getting lost in the scent of your perfume. His hands explored your skin beneath the sweatshirt he had given you, making your breath hitch.
“Damn, you're so pretty,” He kissed the length of your neck as he lifted your shirt slightly “so hot.” His lips slid down your abdomen as he held the corners of your hips.
You were convinced that no experience and nothing on this earth surpassed the feeling of feeling Jake's mouth drawn on your skin.
When he slightly pulled down the sweatpants you were wearing he remembered that you weren't wearing your white lingerie anymore. The fact that you weren't wearing anything underneath his clothes made Jake lose his mind.
On the other hand, you felt more self-conscious seeing how he was between your legs and debating whether he should do what was on his mind.
As if he was reading your mind, he looked at you and approached you smiling “Are you wearing something underneath this?” He smirked as he squeezed your thigh over your pants “N-No.” You replied swallowing dryly making him bite his own lip as he confirmed his suspicions.
“Shit.” He said in your ear “There's so many things I wanna do to you.” You moaned as you felt him bite your ear and kiss the skin beneath your earlobe while his right hand explored your body beneath your shirt.
His lips hovered over yours again “Then do it.” You replied making him grunt into your mouth before kissing you desperately “I will princess.” His torso brushed against your pants sending electrifying chills throughout your body.
He pulled away for a moment and got on his knees between your legs as you watched his every action. He smiled when he saw you staring at him shamelessly.
“Like what you see?” He teased you watching as you followed his hands taking off his own pants and throwing them anywhere, leaving only his black boxers “Yeah.” You whispered and he felt his rationality break with your answer “Yeah?” The sensual tone of his voice made you needy. He licked your lower lip as he grabbed the hem of your pants to take them off “Babe, lift your hips for me.” You obeyed his command as he spoke over your lips “I want to see you.”
Jake loved how you obeyed him instantly. He wanted to know how far you would go to do whatever he asked, especially when his mind had so many ideas of what to do.
After taking off his pants he went straight to your shirt to take it off as well. “You're gorgeous.” He said seeing how raw and naked you were just for him. After taking off your shirt you ran your hand down Jake’s chest to his abdomen feeling his sculpted body as he took off his boxers.
“Jake, I want you.” You begged, pulling his torso towards you with your legs and he smiled into your neck, marking the spot. You could smell the chlorine from the pool on Jake as he trailed kisses down your entire body until he reached your legs.
“I'll give you what you want, babe.” You shivered as he responded by trailing kisses up your inner thigh.
With every touch from Jake, your body burned as if it were on fire. It was irresistible and effervescent how good he could make you feel. His touch was good, his breath in your skin was good, his grunts in your ear were good, his body and your turning into one was good. Everything about him was good.
Having Jake was just too good.
☆
Jake and you were hugging each other as he stroked your hair and you looked at his face thinking how perfect he looked there under the moonlight invading his room.
“You tired?” You asked and he smiled, closing his eyes as you caressed his cheekbone with your fingers. “A little bit.” He confessed, snuggling closer to you.
He pulled you by the waist and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “I heard people are calling you bullet now.” You noticed the pleased tone in Jake’s voice “Because you're fast like a bullet.” He teased and you felt embarrassed by the new nickname “They're exaggerating.” Jake looked in your eyes “Don't need to be humble with me, I know you're good.” You nodded feeling an inexplicable happiness for having your skill recognized by a racer as talented as Jake “Congrats on updating from newbie to bullet.”
“Thank you, king.” You whispered and he smiled, running the back of his hand across your cheek “You're welcome, babe.”
This intimacy you had with Jake was so natural. As if you had always been like this, the environment was comfortable and being with him wasn't difficult. It was perfectly natural.
“You know, Sunoo called me to tell me he's coming home for the holidays.” You smiled thinking about the possibility of finally meeting Jake's younger brother “I want you to meet him.”
Your heart was pounding so hard you were afraid Jake would feel it. “Sure, I can’t wait to meet him.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.” You watched as Jake spoke of Sunoo with admiration and fondness “He’s probably taller and smarter than me now.” Jake chuckled warmly.
“You must miss him a lot, huh?” Jake thought for a second, remembering all the happy memories he had with his brother “Yeah, I do.” He laughed through his nose “Sunoo is so much fun, he always brightens up the atmosphere with his contagious joy.”
“He seems like an amazing person.” Jake smiled at your comment “He is.” You giggled feeling Jake's nose tickle your neck “I think it's going to be good for him to come.”
You sighed thinking about how you wanted this peaceful and joyful environment to last longer. “I think so too.”
“I was thinking about having a barbecue.” He looked at you, stroking your back “What do you think? Do you like barbecue?”
“I love it.” You smiled as he placed a kiss on your cheek and then on your lips “Barbecue it is then.” He smiled and hugged you as you snuggled into him letting the sleepiness take over both of you.
The sun was shining brightly in the sky and the day was beautiful as everyone gathered at Jake's house for the barbecue he had organized for Sunoo's arrival. Sunoo had arrived a day earlier and was excited about the barbecue, happy that he would see the friends he missed so much and finally meet you after hearing about you.
Jake, with a satisfied expression, was watching as you and Sunoo talked while taking the rice and potatoes to the table in the backyard of his house. Ni-ki and Jungwon were at the grill arguing about how the meat should be cooked, whether it was well done or rare.
He smiled, especially seeing how you were even more radiant than usual.
“I thought you didn't mess up with drivers.” Sunghoon spoke next to him in a sarcastic tone and Jake gave him an airy laugh “I'm not messing with her.” He confessed and Sunghoon widened his eyes “Wait, so that means...” He followed Jake's line of sight who didn't take his eyes off you “Drop it Sunghoon, I just want to relax and eat some barbecue.” Jake replied and Sunghoon put his arm around his shoulders “But I want to hear about this bro.”
“He's in love, Sunghoon.” Heeseung said taking his drink approaching the two friends “It's obvious.” Jake gave Heeseung a quick glance before turning his attention back to you “She's special, that's all.” Jake said smiling with a look of tenderness when he saw how cute you were arranging things on the table “Damn bro, you're really damn bad.” Sunghoon retorted bumping Heeseung's fist.
“Maybe I am.” Jake spoke softly, admitting what he already knew was true. The boys looked at each other smiling at Jake’s confession, hugging him sideways as they walked towards the table.
“C'mon guys, let's eat!” Sunoo shouted, calling everyone to the table and everyone sat down. Jake sat next to you, making you give him a sweet smile that made Ni-ki roll his eyes. “Guys, get a room!”
“Shut up Ni-ki!” Jungwon nudged him with his elbow making Ni-ki smile “Alright, let's all calm down.” Sunoo said and looked at everyone laughing “Well, since it's your first time here at our barbecue, I think you should say grace.” Jake looked at you and you smiled “Okay.”
You took a deep breath, looking at everyone before you started speaking. “I want to say that I'm grateful to have met you all and that I'm happy that we're here together, well and healthy.” Your heart sank when you saw how sweetly Jake looked at you “I'm really grateful for all of you.” He squeezed your thigh under the table and smiled while you felt your heart explode inside your chest.
“The newbie knows how to touch our hearts.” Sunghoon joked and Ni-ki wiped an imaginary tear from his eye “Let's eat!!” Jungwon said excitedly and started serving himself.
“I'm also grateful to have met you.” Your heart raced as Jake's whisper warmed your ear “That's good to know.” You smiled and he held himself back from kissing you right there in front of everyone. He would definitely steal this kiss later.
As everyone ate and laughed, you took in the surroundings. The boys' laughter and jokes, Sunghoon teasing Jake, Ni-ki and Jungwon talking about something random, and Sunoo passing the soda to Heeseung. The pleasant atmosphere and the feeling of familiarity were overwhelming. It wasn't just a gathering of friends, they were family.
You felt like you were home.
And it broke your heart, because you knew this wasn't forever.
☆
Jake had pulled you into his room at the first opportunity that arose. With the excuse that you both needed to 'rest' from lunch, he held your hand and led you to the familiar place you had been before.
And with the excuse that he had sweated too much in the heat of the sun, he called you to take a shower and so you ended up with your back glued to the cold tiles of his bathroom while he attacked your neck. Your knuckles were in the middle of Jake's dark hair.
He took off his shirt and grabbed your body, pulling you onto his lap before placing you on the bathroom counter. “I love when you show me your pretty legs.” He whispered, squeezing the skin of your thighs. You were wearing a blue summer dress that showed off your body perfectly and contrasted with the color of your skin, which drove Jake crazy. “Do you like it?” You asked softly against Jake’s mouth. “I love it.” He whispered before he buried his long, beautiful fingers in your loose hair.
“That's good because I chose it just for you.” The way you spoke while looking at Jake with so much desire made him crazy to ruin you right there and then. “Yeah?” His voice seemed to be an octave lower than normal “Then take it off for me.” The way he said it with his sexy voice as he attacked your neck gave you goosebumps. The slightly imperative tone along with his desperation to have you heated up your entire body.
He helped you take off your dress and all your clothes while he took off his pants. His hands gripped every corner of your body as if he needed it to live.
You tried to contain your moan as Jake smashed his lips into you again. The kiss was messy and desperate, which reflected Jake's mental state at that moment. Your nails dug into Jake's back and neck, making him groan against your mouth.
He grabbed you by the hips as you crossed your legs around his torso holding him. As he carried you to the bathroom stall you attacked Jake's neck who bit his own mouth to avoid making any noise.
You let go of Jake and stood up again when Jake pinned you to the shower wall and turned on the shower, soaking you both. Before you could think of anything, Jake grabbed your cheeks, bringing your face close to his and deepening the kiss forcefully.
The mixture of your breaths and your warm bodies with the water falling from the shower was addictive. Jake was so turned on he wanted to taste every part of your body if he could. He wanted to bend you over and touch you until you're crying and begging for him to do something.
As Jake's hands roamed the length of your body, he brought his kisses to your neck marking the spot "Maybe I should mark you up so everyone can see you're mine.” You felt your breath hitch and your blood pressure rise as you felt his tongue run over the length of your neck “You taste so good.” He whispered before sucking on your bottom lip and kissing you again.
No matter how much you tried to hold on, you moaned with a small whimper causing Jake to pull away and put his hand over your mouth.
“You need to be quiet, love.” He whispered in your ear as he covered your mouth “Or else they we'll hear us.” You nodded, feeling your legs tremble as Jake pressed his body against yours.
You held onto his biceps as you tried to calm down, but it was impossible seeing how Jake's wet hair was pulled back after he ran his hand through his dark locks. It was an irresistible sight. "You're making it hard for me to be quiet, Jake." You whispered and swallowed hard seeing how he smiled and looked at you. Jake's gaze penetrated every last part of your dermis.
“I'll shut your pretty mouth then.” Your eyes rolled back when you felt his fingers touch you and he stuck his tongue inside your mouth, swallowing all your moans.
In an impulse he picked you up again and pressed you against the wall without breaking the kiss. His fingers sank into your skin trying to keep you in place.
You tried to feel him a bit more, but Jake wouldn't let you as he kissed you in a slow, torturous rhythm. When you pulled away for air you looked at him "Please, Jake." You begged and he smiled “Please what?” He teased “Say it with your words.”
His head was a mess and his entire body was throbbing with desire “Want to feel you,” you whispered “please, love.” Jake felt his chest swell with adoration and pride when he saw how you were surrendered to the point of calling him love, something you hadn’t done before.
“Since you asked nicely.” He whispered before accomplishing what you wanted most.
☆
After sleeping the whole afternoon to recover your energies, you and Jake went down to have dinner with Sunoo.
Sunoo had prepared a lasagna so you could enjoy the peaceful evening and chat a little. “So Y/N, I heard you’re a great racer.” Sunoo smiled excitedly as he chewed his food.
“Well, I try.” You laughed as Jake had fun watching his little brother interact with you “She’s good, she beat Ni-Ki and Jungwon in her first race.” Jake praised you and you felt a wave of happiness invade your chest.
“You really are perfect for my brother then.” He said in a comical tone and you felt your cheeks heat up as Jake smiled, silently agreeing with his brother’s comment “I would love to see you race, but unfortunately I have to go back after this holiday because of my university classes.”
“I understand…” You took a sip of the juice in your glass “Do you race too?” Sunoo laughed and waved his hand in the air in denial “God, no. Not like the boys.” He sighed “I always preferred the business and organization part of our car workshop. That's one of the reasons why I'm at the business course in university.”
You were impressed by Sunoo. He definitely had the face of someone who suited the field he chose. “Sunoo was the best manager of our finances, but now that he’s in college I take care of everything.” Jake said, looking at you tenderly “It seems like a difficult task.”
“It’s a little, but I can handle it.” Jake said confidently making you laugh at the table “So this is the confidence of the king of racing?” You teased Jake by asking Sunoo who laughed and nodded “That’s because you didn’t see what he was like when we were younger.”
“Hey! No exposing our cringe memories to my girl.” Jake said placing his hand on your thigh making your heart clench. 'my girl.'
“I’ll tell you everything later.” Sunoo whispered to you as if Jake couldn’t see him “I’m looking forward to this moment.”
“Hey! I can hear you guys.” Jake smiled as he watched you and Sunoo enjoy his comedic tone.
Sunoo, who saw how you and Jake looked at each other, side smiled seeing how happy Jake seemed. Not that Jake wasn't happy, but now he had a different glow and he knew it was because of you. After dinner you helped wash the dishes and then went upstairs to Jake's room to wait for him while he and Sunoo put away the last remaining utensils.
“You know, it’s been a while since I've seen you smile like that.” Sunoo said to Jake as he finished putting the silverware away in the drawer.
Jake smiled and looked at his brother as he finished taking out the trash from the kitchen. “Really? I didn't know that.”
“It’s because of Y/N.” Sunoo looked mischievously to Jake “I like her, so please take care of her.”
“Shouldn't you be saying this to her?” Jake laughing crossing his arms in front of his chest “I'm your brother, after all.”
Sunoo giggled and closed the cabinet drawer “It's because I've known my brother long enough.” He said sarcastically and Jake ruffled his brother's hair “Don't worry, I'm taking good care of her.” Jake finished his kitchen chores and waited for Sunoo at the door “She's special.”
“Good.” Sunoo gave a funny wink before turning off the kitchen light and heading to his room. “So, I'll trust my cute sister-in-law to you.”
“Alright.” Jake just smiled and went up to his room, excited to spend another night with you.
You had arrived at the place where another race would take place while looking for Jake who said he was near the cars at the starting line.
The night was perfect until you bumped into Jihoon in the middle of the street. You were shocked by his nerve to show up for the race after the fight he had with Jake, but this only confirmed your suspicions that he was the one you were really looking for all this time and not Heeseung.
“Look who’s here.” He said mockingly, looking you up and down. “I should say the same.” You replied, shocked by the boy’s change in behavior.
He approached with his hands in his pockets “Where does this attitude come from?” he scoffed “Why are you so mad?” You rolled your eyes and walked out of Jihoon’s field of vision, bumping your shoulder into his arm “I don’t have time for this.”
“Wait a minute.” He pulled you by the arm and turned you to face him. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, let’s catch up.” You looked at him suspiciously. “What do you want to talk about? We’re not friends.” He smiled and touched your shoulder “We can be, with benefits too if you want.” You took his hand off your shoulder and walked away. “You’re crazy.”
It was shocking how that shy boy persona was shattered with the revelation of who he really was.
“Don’t play too hard to get, I know I can teach you a few things, newbie.” You frowned “No thanks, I’m fine.” Before he could touch you again Jake arrived on the scene pulling you behind him.
“Oh, now I understand.” He gave you a harsh laugh “You’re just another one in Jake’s pants.” You grabbed Jake who was clearly irritated and almost about to punch him again “Jihoon, get the hell out of here.” He spoke through his teeth and the boy laughed “Sure king, I’m leaving.” He said sarcastically before turning to you “When you get tired of him, you can always call me.” He winked at you and you rolled your eyes in disgust “As if! cretin...”
Jake pulled you by the hand away from the crowd and looked at you with a worried look “Are you okay?” He held your face between his hands and you nodded “Yeah, it’s okay.” He sighed and you hugged him suddenly feeling welcomed by his presence “Come on, forget about it and let’s go watch the race.”
“I’m not in the mood to watch the race anymore.” He stroked your hair “So, what do you want to do?” You asked and he smirked “I have an idea.”
You looked at him curiously, knowing that Jake always came up with the craziest ideas.
“Let's take a ride.”
☆
Being in the passenger seat while Jake drove was a unique feeling. While he focused on the road, his hand was gripping your thigh, sliding over your soft skin. The metal rings on his hand sent goosebumps across your skin. “Where are we going?” You asked, seeing how calmly he smiled.
“A place I want you to see.” He turned and stared at you as he sped the car in a straight line. “You might wanna keep your eyes on the road, babe.” You laughed seeing how he kept looking at you with a smirk.
“What? You think we're gonna crash?” He asked as he still accelerated the car before stopping at a traffic light.
“I don’t know. I guess I trust your driving skills, though.” He laughed at your response squeezing your thigh “The secret's not about having the best car, it's how you drive it.” His focus returned to the road making you see his profile, noticing Jake's dark hair blowing in the wind coming from the window.
That feeling of adrenaline and confidence that came every time you were with Jake was comforting. You knew he was your complete opposite, but maybe that was what drew you to him. Like you were two sides of the same coin, or magnets with different polarities that couldn't be separated.
Likewise, Jake knew he felt happy every time you were together. It was like you were the trigger that activated his dopamine. An addiction he could never get enough of.
“We’re here.” He stopped at a pier. There was practically no one else there at this time of day, but through the window you could see the dark water rocking gently with boats in the background.
“Wow, how beautiful.” You said, observing the landscape, feeling the cold breeze give you goosebumps a little.
“I know.” He sighed, looking at you “I come here when I want to be alone and relax.”
You looked at each other, feeling sparks fly instantly. Jake's hand was still on your thigh, moving it up under your skirt.
“I love it when you wear skirts. It reminds me of the day we first met.” He leaned in and whispered in your ear. Your breathing quickened as you stared into his dark orbs. “You remember what I was wearing when we met?” You couldn’t help the silly smile that appeared on your face.
“How could I forget?” He smiled and fit his face into your neck, feeling your sweet scent “You were so beautiful. It was difficult to ignore.” He pressed his lips to the corner of your neck in a delicate way, as if he was just testing the waters.
“Maybe you fell in love at first sight.” You playfully touched his hair and he smiled against your skin “Maybe I did.” His confession made you pull his face to yours. He kissed you tenderly and you couldn’t help but want to climb on top of him.
You pushed him back and crawled lightly until you climbed onto his lap. His eyes widened in surprise, but he soon smiled, adjusting you in the best position.
As you looked down at him you couldn't help but check him out. How he stood so close and yet at the perfect distance to admire him. His teasing expression turned you on completely. “Your lips are so pretty.” You ran your thumb over his lips before giving him a long kiss “Wanna kiss them all the time.” You whispered, making Jake’s heart beat wildly. “Yours are pretty too.” He smiled looking at your mouth.
You didn't know what came over you. Maybe Jake's presence brought out all your primal desires.
Your fingers sank into Jake's dark hair through his bangs. “This hair color is nice.” You felt how soft his hair was and smiled. The contrast of his dark hair with his lightly tanned skin from the sun made Jake even more attractive.
His hands went to your waist “It’s my natural color.” His thumbs made circles on your waist underneath the fabric “Do you like it?” You nodded, threading your fingers through his locks and running them down to the nape of his neck “Yes, it suits you.”
He smiled and pulled you closer “I'm just going to miss the blond a little because it reminds me of when I first met you.” You confessed holding his cheeks, your thumbs caressing his cheekbones.
He smiled looking at you. “Yeah?” He loves the vision of you on top of him, because in his mind you belong there. “Tell me love, what do you want?” He asked, leaning into your neck and moving his hands down to your thighs. The smell of his perfume invading and hypnotizing your senses.
Jake loves the feeling of the soft skin of your thighs between his fingers.
You felt butterflies in your stomach at Jake's tone. It was embarrassing how you melted so easily at his words, but his delicious voice was irresistible.
Your body twitched slightly feeling him kiss your collarbone making Jake squeeze your thighs. “You.” You replied nervously and he gave you a quick kiss before smiling over your mouth “Just that?” You nodded feeling a fire rise through your body.
Even though you didn't fully understand his question, at that moment Jake would give you whatever you wanted, material or not, but your sincerity about the moment made him sure that he would do everything in his power to satisfy you and see you happy.
“Wanna know what I want?” He said with a ragged breath. His lips brushed over yours as his warm breath mingled with yours. “I want to touch you so bad.” He didn’t wait for your answer and attacked you with desire.
Kissing Jake was like feeling your body being elevated to a higher level of human understanding. His soft lips met yours like a perfectly rehearsed dance. As if they were the perfect fit for yours.
Jake pressed your body against his and you buried your fingers in the strands near the nape of his neck, making him groan into your mouth. The way he sucked on your bottom lip was so intoxicating that it made you want to attack every inch of his skin.
Giving in to your deep desires, you trailed your mouth down Jake's marked jaw, kissing along the way until you reached his neck. He moaned as you pulled his head back so you could kiss the length of his throat.
Jake pulled your face close and met your lips hungrily. You felt his tongue deepen the kiss desperately while his right hand under your shirt passed over your belly and your bra pressed against the skin there, sending a shiver down your spine.
You reached down to the hem of his shirt to take it off and he helped you, throwing the shirt onto the passenger seat as you admired his abs.
Your fingers wandered over his belt and he smirked “Didn't know you were this needy.” He licked his bottom lip with an expectant look at you making your cheeks heat up “It's your fault, you do this to me.” Your hands began to undo his belt quickly and he swore it was the hottest sight he could ever have.
Jake felt that his pants were getting uncomfortable and decided to pull up your shirt while you tried to unzip him. You stopped so he could take off your shirt and then you went back to kissing him.
His hands moved up your back to your shoulders. He explored your body as if it were the first time and you loved it. You loved how he touched you, how he knew exactly what to do, how the chemistry between your bodies was perfect.
“Wait, are we really going to do this here?” As a shot of rationality you pulled back slightly and felt self-conscious as you saw that you were in a place where someone could appear. Jake who was marking the skin below your collarbone as he lowered the straps of your bra stopped for a moment to look at you.
“Jake, what if someone sees us?” You whispered, looking at the scenery around you that was completely deserted. “No one will see us, love, it’s empty here.” Jake rolled up the car windows, which were tinted to reassure you “And the windows are tinted.”
Your heart was racing at the thought of doing something as forbidden as this. “Love, please.” He whimpered hoarsely “I need you.” His hands pulled your hips forward in a desperate attempt to feel you.
You gasped, feeling the friction of your body against his, and slowed down your movement, teasing Jake. This begging version of him was something you liked more than you expected.
He who always took charge and was more dominant with you was now whimpering in need of your touch “Patience.” You whispered and Jake moaned like a cry stuck in his throat when you lowered his zipper and he felt your fingers hover over the spot.
He wanted more than ever to get rid of the piece of clothing, especially when you moved slowly and never enough for what he wanted most.
“Please, I'm going crazy.” He spoke in your ear, holding your hips and pressing your weight hard onto his lap. Feeling satisfied with Jake’s state and feeling that you had already reached your own limit, you decided to give in to what you both wanted.
So, on that beautiful night on the deserted pier, the sounds of the light waves, their uneven breathing and Jake's name being said repeatedly were the only things that could be heard there inside Jake's car.
After weeks of not seeing Jay, you drove many miles to a police base that was in a neighboring town. You knew this meant it was time for the final report and that you would have to move soon.
“I think we should move fast.” Jay paced impatiently back and forth “You’ve already had enough evidence that Jihoon is the guy we’re looking for.”
“We can’t do that. You know that without physical evidence and witnesses he would be released and we wouldn’t be able to track the boss.” You argued and Jay sighed.
“We have witnesses: all his friends who race.” He put his hands in his pockets “We can take advantage of the moment and catch them too for the illegal races we never managed to get.”
“No.” You replied and Jay looked at you in surprise “No? What do you mean by that?”
“They don’t know anything, they’re just kids who race around every now and then and live their lives.” Jay couldn’t believe you were defending the boys.
“Right, but the leader knows. Jake knows Jihoon is involved, so he has a stake in not reporting him.” Jay stood in front of you and you scoffed.
“As if he would call the police without proof and risk being arrested. Let’s be smart Jay.”
Jay was irritated by the way you defended Jake. “You know what? I don’t know why you’re defending him. At the end of the day, he’s still a criminal, so it doesn’t matter.”
“Jay, you talk like he’s a horrible criminal who committed heinous crimes, but he’s just a guy who races illegally and that’s just a misdemeanor, it’s not the end of the world!” You glared at Jay “Jake isn’t like Jihoon.”
Jay's eyes widened and he pointed at you. “'Just' a misdemeanor? Since when you became so liberal about committing illegal acts?”
You sighed in frustration “Jay you know very well that it’s not like that.”
“Are you sure?” He stepped closer “Because I think you’re actually too attached to those boys.” You looked away, feeling your heart sink knowing it was true “Do you think I don’t know what you’ve been doing? Going to barbecues and going to Jake’s house when there’s no need at all?”
You frowned and stared at Jay in disbelief.
"You've been tracking me?” You scoffed “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I'm serious.” He spoke seriously looking at you “It's clear that ever since you started to spend time with him you’ve changed.” You felt your eyes water slightly “Y/N, your judgement is clouded!” He sighed “And I have no other option but to take you off the case.”
“Jay please don’t do this.” You walked over and held your friend’s hand “You know we’re so close to solving this case, don’t push me away now.”
“Y/N, look into my eyes right now and tell me you don’t have feelings for Jake.” He looked at you and you looked away feeling your heart tighten “You know I can’t do that.”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Y/N, you need to stay out of this case.”
“Wait!” Jay looked at you, seeing your desperation “Hear me out, please Jay.”
He sighed and sat down on the chair he had in the room “Okay, I'm hearing you.”
“What if I can convince him to cooperate and help us with the operation?” You begged your friend “They can be free, but we get Jihoon and the entire information network.”
Jay stopped and thought for a bit. It would be interesting for both sides and would make it easier to catch Jihoon.
“It might work.” He looked at you with concern in his eyes. “But you know what that means, don’t you?”
You sat next to Jay and looked at the ceiling, feeling the melancholy hit you with everything. “I know.”
He stood up and touched your shoulder “I’m sorry Y/N, but we need to do what’s right.”
“I know.” It was the last thing you said before sinking into absurd sadness.
You knew you would have to reveal everything to Jake and this would all come to an end and you didn't want to accept that fact.
☆
Jake was lying on top of you while you stroked his hair. He hugged your waist while you looked at the ceiling thinking about how to talk to him.
He had come to your apartment before, but today in particular would be a difficult day. You would reveal your identity and ask for Jake's cooperation, even though you knew it would destroy the relationship you had.
Of course, you hadn't planned on getting involved with Jake on this level of depth, but you couldn't help it. Feelings aren't easily controlled, and to be honest, you didn't want to avoid it.
You wanted to get involved with Jake and you wanted to go all the way, even knowing the painful consequences that it would bring. But when you weighed it up, the benefits and moments of happiness with him were much better than any heartbreak you would have to accept.
If suffering was inevitable then at least you experienced that love until the very last moment.
You sighed and Jake raised his head seeing your worried expression. “What is it babe? Is something worrying you?” He looked at you intently and you gave a weak smile holding his cheek in your hand “Just thinking about some things.”
He nodded and lifted himself up a little so he could kiss your neck “What things?” You hummed feeling his lips travel from your neck to your lips “Tell me what is worrying you so I can help you.” Your heart sank as you heard Jake “I don’t like seeing you this way.”
You smiled and kissed him again knowing it would be a goodbye. You pulled his face to yours and he smiled into the kiss, his hands roaming around your waist.
You hugged him aggressively, smelling his cologne one last time. Your fingers intertwined in his hair, feeling its softness.
“Damn babe.” He whispered breathlessly as he kissed your collarbone. Your legs rose slightly before wrapping around his torso and you pushed him aside, straddling him.
You looked at him with a melancholic look that Jake noticed and he caressed your face “Why are you looking at me like that?” His hand went to the side of your neck and you bent down kissing him.
The feeling of being in Jake's arms was unique and you didn't want to forget it. Jake deepened the kiss and you pulled away trying to catch your breath, feeling your heart tighten.
“Sorry, I needed to breathe.” You gave a light smile and Jake saw how you lowered your head dejectedly “What’s going on babe? You’re acting weird.”
You looked at Jake once more to remember the details of his face. His furrowed eyebrows, his nose, his drawn mouth. His messy dark hair, his collarbone marked by your mouth along with the silver necklace you remembered so much.
“We need to talk.” You sighed and he sat on the bed, leaning his back against the headboard “What’s going on? Tell me.” He looked at you worriedly and you tried to find the right words.
“I know what Jihoon is doing.” Jake was surprised by what you said “We need to do something to stop this.” He gave you a confused and worried look. “Babe, what do you mean? Jihoon did something to you? Did he threaten you with something?”
You sighed, shaking your head. “No, he doesn’t know that I know that.” He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair “So that’s what was worrying you.” You nodded and he pulled your face to give you a quick peck “Jake, we need to end this.” He pulled away, hearing your anxious tone of voice.
“What’s wrong? You’re scaring me babe.” He looked at you confused as you tried to work up the courage to confess everything.
You looked into Jake's eyes and gave one last smile, holding his face in your hands and letting go before revealing the whole truth.
“Jake, I'm a cop.” You said in a rush and he laughed “Babe, c'mon, that's not funny.” He looked at you hopefully as if you were going to say it was all a bad joke, but you looked away as you felt your eyes fill with tears.
“It’s true. I’m an undercover cop.” You whispered, getting up from the bed and Jake’s eyes widened.
At that exact moment Jake felt his heart break into several pieces.
“That’s a lie. Please tell me you’re joking.” Jake’s voice began to crack.
“It’s true.” You looked at him with tears threatening to fall from your eyes “I needed to find out who was the infiltrated drug dealer at the races and I found out it was Jihoon.”
Jake stood up feeling an absurd pain invade his chest. He felt betrayed, as if everything had been a big lie. “You lied to me? All this time?” He gave a sarcastic laugh, feeling his eyes water “Everything we lived was a lie?”
You turned to him, looking at him desperately “Jake, of course not.” You approached him feeling you heart tear at Jake's pained expression “Everything I said, what we lived, what I feel for you is real.” Jake looked at you, letting the tears fall “Please, believe me.”
He pulled away from you, putting on his shirt. “How do you expect me to believe you?” He was looking for his pants, but he was disoriented so he sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands. “You really fooled me…” He bitter smiled as he cried “I really thought everything you said was true.”
He looked at you with a contorted expression that broke everything you had inside “Was it fun playing with me? Was it funny deceiving me all this time?” You shook your head vehemently and he felt his throat close up “Is Y/N even your real name ? I don't know anymore.”
“It wasn’t a joke, it was all true.” Your chest tightened with all the pain you felt “I really didn’t mean to hurt you.” He shook his head. “No, it’s too late.”
“Jake I’m so sorry, but please believe me when I say that everything I feel for you is real.” You took his hand and placed it over your heart but he pulled away and stood up “I don’t believe you anymore, I can’t do it.” He looked away and you let the tears fall “Whatever we had is over now.”
“I understand that you don’t believe me, but you need to listen to me.” He looked at you in disbelief “I need your help to save you and our friends.”
He got irritated when he saw how you spoke “Save me? Our friends? What the hell are you talking about?”
“Jake, the police are after Jihoon. If you don’t help, everyone will go down with him, including you.” You stood in front of him “I need your help to arrest Jihoon and free the boys, please.”
“I’m sorry, but how do you expect me to believe you when you’re a liar?” His words were harsh and you felt your heart being pierced with each word spoken.
“It’s okay if you don’t believe me, but please think about the boys. They didn’t do anything and they’re in danger because of Jihoon.”
Jake felt his chest get rippee every time you opened your mouth. He didn't know he could suffer this much.
“Me and the boys have nothing to do with this. This is your problem, why don't you solve it?” He looked at you and you got angry “I’m trying!” You ran your hand through your hair “You’re not listening to me.” He saw your frustration “What do you want from me?”
“Jake, if you don’t help us, they’ll try to arrest Jihoon in some race and if the boys or anyone else is there, they’ll all going down.” You said seriously “Please help us, for them.” He looked at you and you gathered your courage before saying one last time “Please, even if you don’t believe me, I really don’t want to see you arrested.”
Jake looked at you, feeling his insides churn. His stomach hurt with the weight of the anxiety he felt. “Fine. I'll help you.” He grabbed his things before looking at you one last time “But just so you know,” You looked at him “After all of this is over, I don't want to see you ever again.”
You nodded, feeling your tears wet your face “Okay, I understand.” You spoke with a choked voice and Jake looked at you one last time with tears in his eyes before leaving and slamming the door to your apartment without saying a single word.
Your body collapsed to the floor and you brought your hands to your face.
Knowing that you had done your duty but that you’d unfortunately lost the love of your life, you allowed yourself to cry yourself to sleep.
☆
After a few days, the three of you were inside a disguised and armored car outside the meeting place that Jake had managed to find out where Jihoon would be.
After revealing your identity to Jake, everything had changed. You no longer saw him or the boys, making up some lame excuses to justify your absence.
Inside you felt the worst pain you could ever feel. It was as if everything good that had happened to you had been an illusion. A good joke from the universe.
Jay picked you up at your apartment and when you got into the car seeing that Jake was already there you felt your heart stop.
The moment your eyes met, you quickly realized how much you missed Jake. You missed his eyes, your hugs, the tender kisses he gave you when you asked for them. How his jokes were funnier when you were alone. You missed his hair between your fingers, his voice in your ear.
You missed him.
Even if you succeeded in your mission, you didn't know how you would move on with your life. Jake had become so special that you didn't want to accept a reality without him by your side.
He was in front of you, beautiful as ever and you couldn't do anything about it.
While you wondered if he would ever forgive you, he stared at the landscape through the glass, not wanting to make eye contact.
“So, let’s review the plan.” Jay breaked the silence and Jake looked at him dejectedly “Your excitement touches me.” Jay ironically said and Jake scoffed.
“Sorry if I'm not in the brightest mood. I just discovered my girlfriend is an undercover cop and that one of my old friends actually hates me and I need to make him go to prison in order to save my friends.” Jake commented and your heart sank when you heard the word 'girlfriend' and Jay looked at you through the corner of his eye without saying anything “So yeah, sorry I'm not very excited about that.”
“It's going to be over soon, don't worry.” Jay replied and Jake sighed as you remained looking at him.
“Jake, please.” You tried to speak but he interrupted you looking at Jay “Let's just get this over with.”
Jay nodded and went on to explain the plan again.
It was simple, Jake would meet with Jihoon, and talk to him until the moment he would reveal the prohibited merchandise and you would be in the ideal blind spot to arrest him.
But as simple as it was, you wanted to enjoy these last moments with Jake.
“You can go first, he's approaching the location.” Jay said to Jake who nodded and got out of the car and walked normally to the spot he was supposed to be.
“You know, you look awful.” Jay whispered to you, who looked at him and gave a sarcastic smile. “Yeah, I know.” He laughed and hugged you from the side “You know, now that I met him, I kinda get you.” He finished loading his gun and looked at you “He's actually very charming. Sorry I judged you.”
“It's okay Jay, let's just forget about this.” You commented feeling your heart tighten “Okay, sorry. You know I care about you, right?” He said affectionately and you smiled nodding “I know.” You bumped your best friend's fist, like always.
☆
You were at a strategic point on Jake's left side. Your body was crouched down when Jihoon approached, talking to Jake from a distance. Jay was on the other side, a little further back, anxiously waiting for Jihoon to give any signal so he could jump straight towards him and arrest him.
You quickly glanced at Jake who looked normal, as always. That calm expression you remember seeing the moment you first saw him.
Everything about him was captivating and a part of you wished things were different. If you had met under different circumstances, at different times, maybe it would have worked out.
Before you could continue your thoughts, you noticed a strange shift in the conversation and saw that Jihoon took a gun out of his pants and pointed it at Jake.
You felt your heart race with adrenaline and turned to Jake who looked shocked.
“Jihoon?!” Jake said feeling his body stiffen in fear “What the hell are you doing?”
Jihoon smirked “Sorry man, it's nothing personal, it's just something I should've done a long time ago.” Jake widened his eyes “I thought we were friends!” He said angrily and Jihoon rolled his eyes “Things have changed.” He clicked his tongue “You know that.”
“It was good knowing you, king.” He pulled the safety back on the gun and in a rush you ran out of hiding and jumped over Jake as Jihoon pulled the trigger.
“NO!” Jake yelled as he saw you fall in front of him, your shoulder bleeding. Jay came from behind and tackled Jihoon, handcuffing him. “You bastard!! I'll make sure you rot in prison!” Jay screamed while you started to get dizzy.
“Y/N! Oh my God you're bleeding.” Jake knelt down beside you, desperate and with tears in his eyes. “Are you okay?” You asked Jake, feeling your forehead break out in a cold sweat. Okay, getting shot wasn't that cool.
“How can you ask me that? You just got shot!” He said in a choked voice holding your face with his shaking hands.
Jihoon was struggling behind you, but Jay had already knocked him out with everything he had while calling for backup. “We need backup urgently! We have an attempted murder against an agent, the suspect is down and the agent is shot, send an ambulance.”
“Jake.” You whispered his name knowing that you would soon pass out. Your body was already showing signs that it was weakening from the loss of blood.
“I hope you can forgive me one day.” You lifted your hand from your free arm and touched his cheek before feeling everything slowly go dark. His face nuzzled into your hand. “I really love you.” His hand was shaking as he placed it over yours.
He was crying as he nodded his head. “I love you too.” He said between tears, but you had already fainted, leaving him even more desperate “Y/N? Y/N!! ANSWER ME!!” He started to scream, but he was pulled back when help arrived.
Jihoon was taken away by the other police officers while Jay held Jake who was disoriented and struggling when he saw that you weren't waking up.
“PLEASE CALM DOWN.” Jay yelled and Jake felt his body weaken as he watched you being put into an ambulance “She needs to go to the hospital, let them take care of her.”
“LET ME GO! I need to see her.” Jake said feeling his head hurt and Jay let go of him seeing the precarious situation Jake found himself in as he was kneeling on the floor.
“She's my best friend. I care about her too, man.” Jay looked at Jake in a friendly way and bent down holding his shoulders “But we need to trust them and make sure we finish our job so everything she did wasn't in vain.” Jake nodded and Jay got up offering his hand to Jake.
“C'mon let's finish everything and we'll go to the hospital, I'll take you.” Jake took Jay's hand and decided to trust him.
But even on the way to the hospital Jake couldn't stop the tears from streaming down his face.
After you went to the hospital and were stabilized and your life was out of any danger, Jake was called by Jay to give a statement at the police station as his last participation in the case.
Jake told him everything he knew in the last details so that all of this would finally be over and he could return to the hospital with the hope of seeing you wake up. Jay informed him that thanks to his help in arresting Jihoon they were able to identify the others involved and the main boss, solving the case, leaving Jake relieved.
“You are free to go.” Jay gave Jake a side smile after his statement “Your records and your friends’ records are clean. Thank you for your cooperation.” Jay shook Jake’s hand, who looked at him confused, trying to understand how this happened.
“What do you mean? I thought you just wanted my statement.” He said, squeezing Jay’s hand back.
“You know, I'm gonna be honest with you.” Jay sighed and leaned over the table, putting his arms over it. “Y/N did everything she could to get us to clear your records in exchange for your cooperation.”
Jake felt his heart melt with remorse at hearing this “I know it’s not easy for you to understand, but we had to do our job.” He looked at Jake with pity “She really cares about you guys, you can be sure of that.”
Jay laughed and Jake stared at him without saying anything “She always defended you guys and that's why we ended up fighting and she almost left the case because of it.” He smiled tenderly at Jake “I sincerely hope you understand her side.” He squeezed Jake's shoulder and he nodded.
“I didn’t know that.” He confessed, feeling his heart heavy when he remembered the last argument you both had. “Well, it’s understandable.” Jay sighed, crossing his arms “She has a tendency to keep all those feelings inside for the good of everyone, it’s a bad habit.”
Jake smiled for the first time “It really is.” Jay looked at him, noticing how dejected he was “She’ll be fine, don’t worry.”
“I know, it’s just that I have so much to tell her.” He sighed and Jay stood up “So when she wakes up, you tell her everything.” Jake stood up and held Jay’s hand “And don’t let her get away anymore.”
Jake just nodded and smiled. “I won’t. Not anymore.”
☆
When you opened your eyes you were faced with the sight of a disconcerting light coming from the sun through the window while your head throbbed. You opened your eyes slowly feeling the soft mattress of the hospital bed and your shoulder ache slightly from the movement.
Looking to the side, your eyes widened when you saw Jake sitting in a chair and taking a nap. Your heart raced and you felt butterflies in your stomach at the sight.
His head was bowed while his arms were crossed. It was clearly not a comfortable position, but you wondered if you should wake him up or let him wake up naturally.
“Jake?” You called him in a low, delicate voice, trying not to scare him.
Jake opened his eyes slightly and ran his hand over his face before stretching. When he turned his face and saw your bright doe eyes looking at him, he felt his heart stop.
“Y/N?” He called your name as gently as possible before leaning down and touching your cheek gently “Can you speak?”
“Yes.” You nodded your head and tried to sit up, but the pain in your shoulder was unbearable. “Don’t get up, you’ve been out for 24 hours.” Your eyes widened, realizing that you had slept for a whole day “The doctors said you were very stressed and fatigued.”
It was obvious that you hadn’t been sleeping well since the argument with Jake, but you didn’t imagine it would be to the point of blacking out for an entire day. “I’m sorry.” Jake’s voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and he took your hand “I feel like this is my fault.”
“It’s not your fault.” You sighed, lacing your fingers through Jake’s knuckles “It’s my job.”
“Still, thank you for saving my life.” Jake’s eyes filled with tears “I don’t know if you remember what I said before,” You looked at him curiously, “but I wanted to repeat it.” He took a deep breath and looked at you with pure sincerity in his eyes. “I love you.”
Your heart raced to the point where you were afraid it would jump out of your ribcage. Memories of what you said before you passed out invaded your mind and you felt your body heat up. “I thought you would never forgive me.” You whispered, feeling the emotions take over your being and Jake shook his head, placing kisses on the back of your hand.
“I know, I was a jerk. I’m sorry for the things I said to you.” You saw how he looked at you tenderly “I was angry and lost my mind that day, but the truth is that I couldn’t live without you.” He said smiling “I love you so much and besides, you’re the bullet of my kingdom.” You laughed remembering your nickname.
“I was wrong too.” You played with his fingers “I could have told the truth before, but it wasn’t easy.”
“It’s okay, I understand.” He leaned closer and kissed your forehead “Let’s forget about this and have a fresh start.” You nodded and smiled happily “I would love that.”
He gave one of those smiles that broke your heart and touched his lips into yours in a long kiss. “Now rest, I'm going to call the nurse.” He said and you snuggled into the pillow trying to relax.
Even you wouldn't be able to believe everything that happened.
While you were recovering in the hospital, Jay and the boys came to visit you, bringing you candy, flowers, and cheering you up while you tried not to think about the gunshot you’d received. It would probably take you over a month to fully recover the movement of your shoulder, but you were grateful to be alive and to have been able to save Jake.
Jake wouldn't leave your side, except for the days he had to go home to work part-time and pick up more clothes to spend the night at the hospital. Even though everything had worked out, you still couldn't believe that you could finally experience everything you wanted without having to lie or pretend to be something you weren't.
Jake knew who you were and decided to stay, and that was all you needed to be able to live in peace.
Jay had also updated you on how the case was successfully closed, and because of Jihoon's connections they were able to track down the main boss. Inside you were happy, you had done your job and despite getting shot, everything ended well.
There was only one thing you knew you would miss, and you weren't ready to admit it out loud, but deep down you knew you would miss racing. The truth is that the environment of customized cars with modified engines had become natural and fun for you, and personally you would miss the competitions.
Maybe in the distant future, you would race again as bullet.
☆
1 MONTH LATER
You looked at the front of Jake's garage, feeling a nostalgic feeling invade your interior. From afar, you saw that Ni-ki and Jungwon were talking and laughing about something at the entrance.
A small smile formed on your face when you saw how well they looked. These boys had a place in your heart and you wouldn't be able to forget the time you spent together racing.
As you approached, Ni-ki was the first to notice your presence. His eyes widened and Jungwon followed his line of sight to see you arrive dressed in a police uniform.
“Wow, seeing you dressed like that is so weird.” The boy said and you laughed “What do you think?” Ni-ki watched as you turned around and clapped his hands “It kind of suits you, even though it’s a little scary.”
“You’ve always been so cool, I could never guess you were a cop.” Jungwon commented and Ni-ki agreed making you laugh “Hey! I’m still cool!”
From afar, Sunghoon and Heeseung watched the interaction at the garage door and looked at each other before seeing how Jake looked entertained by the car he was working on.
They approached the entrance and smiled at you “Hey man, check out this look.” Sunghoon elbowed Heeseung, pointing to your outfit “I’m seeing, bro. I smelled bad boots from afar.” You laughed and greeted the boys “It’s good to see you guys too.”
“Y/N, your uniform is giving me the creeps.” Sunghoon said, placing his hand on his chest. “Please don’t arrest me!” He put his hands together as if he were saying a prayer and you laughed “Don’t worry, I came in peace today.”
They laughed and watched how you were looking out for Jake “He’s back there.” Heeseung said and you smiled, thanking the boys “I’ll be right back, boys.”
“I know you won’t.” Sunghoon mumbled and Heeseung chuckled “But we’ll wait anyway.” Heeseung added and you smiled before heading towards Jake.
As you approached, a whirlwind of sensations took over your body as you recognized the place, and how Jake continued to look extremely handsome at his job. He was wearing a white tank top this time, and his dark brown hair fell perfectly over his forehead.
He turned his face expecting to see Sunghoon and smiled broadly when he saw it was you “What's up bullet.” Jake said in a mischievous tone coming closer and you smiled “What's up King.” Your voice made Jake’s insides stir with everything.
“What did I do to deserve the honor of your visit, officer?” He put his hands on your waist, pulling you towards him “I missed you, and I came to make you a proposal.” You showed a paper that you were holding and waved it in front of Jake “What is this?” He held the paper with one hand, looking at the contents curiously “We are recruiting drivers.” You ran your hand down Jake’s chest “Since you said you wanted to do things legally, I thought of you.” Jake smiled, seeing your eyes shine with a mischievous glow “Just for that?” He asked “And because I miss racing with you. There I said it.”
Jake laughed, placing his hand on the corner of your neck. “Yeah?” He leaned in and gave you a quick peck “And what do I get out of this?” He asked, brushing his lips over yours “You get a wonderful salary and an amazing car of your choice.” You looked at him and he bit his lower lip “What about you? Do I get you too?” He asked teasingly and you pulled his shirt. “You never lost me.” You whispered and he kissed you once more, enveloping you completely.
“Then I accept.” He smiled and looked you up and down “You know, you look pretty hot in that uniform.” You laughed and ruffled his hair “Really? You can see it better later then.” Jake smirked “If you keep looking at me this way, I'll let you arrest me.” You flicked his forehead and smiled “Careful or I’ll really arrest you, my king.”
“Get a room!” Ni-ki shouted from afar and the two of you looked at each other before bursting out laughing.
At the end of the day, this was your perfect happy ending: The two of you together, racing as King and Bullet, with no expiration date.
☆
SUMMARY: Giving in to your boss relentless matchmaking attempts, you’re not sure what to expect upon agreeing to finally meet her son, Donghyuck, at the company’s upcoming Halloween party. Unsure if you’re even ready for a relationship, you also might still be a little too caught up by Haechan, an insufferable but charming one-night fling that keeps asking you out despite your refusals. There’s one thing you’re sure about—life is a funny thing, but yours definitely feels like a cosmic joke sometimes. GENRE: Romance, fluff, non-idol au, one night stand au, strangers to lovers WORD COUNT: 12k WARNINGS: Cursing, suggestive themes, implied sexual content
NOTES: Omg hi neocitylights second fic!! Please let me know what you think!! It’s gonna make my day!!
At first, it reads off as a simple, innocent email from your boss.
As you’d volunteered to help Mrs. Lee organize the company’s annual Halloween party, the first few paragraphs seem harmless enough—reading through the details of potential venues, catering options and decoration palettes selected by her, it truly is a simple, innocent email from your boss… until it isn’t.
Scanning the words for one last time, a sigh escapes from your lips as you hit her last lines.
Also, don’t forget that I can’t wait for you to finally meet my son at the party! I’m sure that he’ll be delighted to meet you.
You’ve been working for Mrs. Lee for a little over a year by now and for the best part of it, her persistent matchmaking attempts for her son, Donghyuck, have been targeting you. It’s become a running joke around the small office, especially since every other week Mrs. Lee makes it a point to note how ‘absolutely perfect’ her son would be for you, and how he ‘knows all about you already’.
Though you’ve always taken it with stride, laughing it off whenever she mentions him, Mrs. Lee never wavered from her scheme.
Besides the fact that Donghyuck is absolutely adored by his mother, you don’t know much about him other than his name and a few bits and pieces of information very purposefully provided by your boss.
Oh, he’s a very smart boy. Yes, Donghyuck is a little ambitious, you know. He’s been single for a while.
Admittedly, the idea of dating your boss’ son seems like a ticking bomb waiting to explode, but since Mrs. Lee is one of the sweetest people you’ve met in life, it’s only fair to at least assume that she’s raised a decent guy.
Now that the party’s coming up, there’s no real way out of it.
If you’re being honest, your love life has been a little lacking lately. Given work and your busy routine, there hasn’t been much time to think about anything but crossing off the next item of your daily to-do list. Apart from the monthly team meeting with your co-workers and an occasional dinner out with your roommate or uni friends, the most action you’ve gotten recently is Haechan’s casual, annoyingly charming texts.
It’s funny to think about it now—the guy was supposed to be a one-time thing, just a night to blow off some steam after a long week.
In a way, he still is.
You hadn’t expected much after exchanging numbers at the doorstep of his apartment the next morning.
Not being a stranger as to how one night stands work, you couldn’t help the surprise when his first text came through just a few hours later. Haechan still is a one-time thing, but he’d somehow turned out to be funny and entertaining enough to convince you to stay in touch with him despite the casualness of your encounter.
Toying with each other in a flirty, playful game, sometimes Haechan leaves you a little intrigued and maybe too willing for a second round… if only you didn’t have your work life to worry about, that is.
So for now, your work and love life are on completely separate tracks, even if Mrs. Lee’s been working a little too hard to blur the lines in between.
As you get home a few hours later than usual, brain scrambled in a mess of food menus and guest names, you give in to collapsing on the couch with Alia, who’s already halfway through a pint of ice cream and an episode of Sex Lives of College Girls.
“How was work?” Alia asks, a smirk creeping onto her face. “No offense, but you kinda look… rough.”
“No more than usual, I guess,” you sigh, side-eyeing your roommate for a second as you kick your heels off. “I mean, other than Mrs. Lee being over the moon that her son’s finally meeting me, it was just another day.”
Alia raises her eyebrows, a spoonful of ice cream hovering midway through her mouth. “Wait, is this really a thing? I thought you were joking whenever you mentioned her hyping up her son for you.”
“Donghyuck is very real, very single and apparently the perfect match for me.” You roll your eyes, a chuckle escaping from your lips. “He’s going to the party and she’s been mentioning it every single time she spots me around the office.”
“Damn,” Alia snorts, her eyes twinkling with mischief as she playfully nudges you. “Who would’ve thought you’d be your own boss’ daughter-in-law, huh?”
“Shut up,” you groan, cheeks instantly warming up at your roommate’s laugh. “I love Mrs. Lee to bits but I don’t even know the guy.”
“But you will,” Alia says, giving you a knowing look. “It could be fun, you know? Maybe he is all she’s made him up to be and he’ll be your soulmate or something.”
You sigh, offering a pat to your friend’s thigh with an amused smile growing on your lips. “You’ve been reading too much booktok literature, Alia.”
As she grins in return, little did you know how stupidly right your roommate’s next words were.
“And you’ll live one, trust me.”
The following weeks flew by, keeping you busy enough with last minute plan changes and impromptu hunts for a work function appropriate Halloween costume. Much to your concern and Alia’s amusement, Mrs. Lee’s enthusiasm over your potential meeting with her son didn’t falter, instead leaving all of your co-workers in a similar buzz as the party approached.
Now, as you adjust the pink vest of your Barbie costume under the orange lights currently decorating the venue, you can’t help but feel a little antsy.
Especially after Mrs. Lee’s voice cuts through the crowd when calling your name.
Bracing yourself, you turn to find your boss striding towards you with a very familiar, eager gleam in her eyes. “Oh, there you are! Come on, I want to introduce you to someone!”
Mrs. Lee—who’s adorably dressed as Princess Leia—takes your arm, walking you through the crowd with such firm steps that you’d think that she’s waited her entire life for this exact moment. As fast as she guides you, your boss quickly comes to a stop by a group of her personal guests, who greet both of you with amused smiles.
“Darling, he’s just over there speaking with a few family friends,” Mrs. Lee murmurs, her arm still intertwined with yours. “Go grab yourself a drink and I’ll bring him over in a moment, hm?”
“Sure thing,” you say, trying to sound casual enough to mask how dazed you are watching her disappear into the crowd again.
A glass of wine later, the knot of expectation still sits in your stomach as you wait for them at the bar. Your eyes have been discreetly drifting over the room, anxiously anticipating the whirlwind that your boss will probably create for Donghyuck as soon as you’re within their sight.
On top of the bar’s counter, your phone buzzes.
Haechan 9:34PM Tonight is the naughtiest night of the year Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see me today
Reading the texts, you couldn’t help laughing at his cheekiness. Sometimes it feels like Haechan has a knack for knowing the exact, most inappropriate moment to make himself known. Being as insufferable as he is, it’s truly a wonder how the guy still manages to be so attractive even through texts that can rival a frat boy.
Momentarily ignoring your nerves, you start typing a quick response.
As you’re about to hit send, Mrs. Lee laugh hits your ears and you look up—
You blink, fingers hovering over the screen of your phone.
He’s standing right next to your boss, who has her arm around his and a smile as big as the sun on her face, clearly introducing him with an adoration you could feel from across the room.
He as in freaking Haechan, the guy you were just about to text and the guy you have been texting ever since a one-night at his place months ago. Haechan as in Mrs. Lee’s infamous, perfect for you, son.
Mrs. Lee finally catches your eyes, her face lighting up as she excitedly waves you over, the thrill of the moment thankfully leaving her oblivious to any signs of distress on your face. Heart drumming against your ears, you walk towards them with hesitant steps, still in disbelief over how absurd the entire situation is.
With a hand on your back, Mrs. Lee pulls you closer with an expression that can only be described as triumphant. “Oh darling, I’d like you to meet my son, Donghyuck.”
Donghyuck finally turns to you, his eyes immediately flickering in recognition as he takes in your entire figure, from the stupid white cowboy hat on your head to the high-heeled pointed boots.
His face shifts, the brief flicker of surprise quickly getting replaced with amusement as he steps to stand by his mother’s side.
“So this is my Donghyuck, like I told you all about,” your boss continues, a hand on his shoulder as she tells him your name, positively beaming. “You two will get along wonderfully, I just know it.”
Unbeknownst to Mrs. Lee, Donghyuck is clearly suppressing his own reaction as extends a hand out, lips twitching and eyes alight with mischief upon you. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he starts smoothly. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Mrs. Lee here.”
“Oh, likewise,” you respond, gaze narrowed as you take his hand in a firm shake. “Nice to meet you, Donghyuck.”
Despite the clear amusement on his face as you discreetly stress his apparent real name, Haechan still doesn’t seem to give any other reaction away to your boss. It’s infuriating how good he seems to be at… whatever ridiculous situation this is. Poor Mrs. Lee, still riding on the high of her most awaited matchmaking accomplishment, stays unaware of the simmering tension between you and her son.
“I’ll leave you two to know each other, then,” she says, offering a cute wink before swiftly disappearing into the crowd as she’s done all night.
As soon as his mother is out of earshot, Haechan drops the act, his face instantly breaking into a slow grin as he steps closer. “So my mom was right about knowing a girl who’s just perfect for me.”
“And of course that out of billions of people on this Earth, you’d be my boss’ son.” You roll your eyes, arms crossing over your chest as a scoff escapes from your lips. “Because this is exactly how insane my life actually is.”
Donghyuck just laughs, clearly enjoying the situation despite your indignation. “Well, this isn’t exactly how I pictured seeing you again but you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
At the implication of your first and last meeting, you can’t help taking a second to actually see him.
It actually hasn’t been long, so Haechan still looks pretty much the same… and maybe that’s the problem. The racer jacket he’s wearing as costume makes him look so effortlessly cool, suiting him in a way that feels almost too fitting. From the black hair, now purple tipped and perfectly styled, to the tan skin and endearing moles on his cheeks, you realize that you might’ve daydreamed about him more than you’d like to admit.
It’s only when Haechan clears his throat, looking nothing but pleased, that you snap out of your trance.
You feel warmth creeping up on your neck but refuse to give him the satisfaction, frowning at his smug expression. “Don’t get too comfortable. You’re still just a random guy who’s been obnoxiously texting me weird stuff.”
“That’s mean, Barbie,” he teases, voice lowering just enough that only you can hear. “If I remember correctly, you were the one who gave me your number.”
“Because you asked,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. “I didn’t exactly plan on seeing you again.”
“Are you sure about that?” Haechan leans closer, the playful glint in his eyes growing stronger as he clicks his tongue. “Ah, it didn’t seem like it when you were begging—”
As your pulse quickens, body growing even warmer, you don’t think twice before impulsively covering his mouth with your hand. “I’m technically at work and your mother is my boss, so please shut your mouth.”
Haechan smiles against your palm, pressing his lips to your hand before you pull it away in panic, dreadfully searching the room for Mrs. Lee’s potential prying eyes. If you know your boss as well as you think, then you’d bet that she’s been watching every second of your interaction with her son with laser focus attention.
Quick to catch you, his grin only widens. “If you don’t want her to see then let’s get out of here.”
If you were to suddenly disappear with her son, Mrs. Lee sure wouldn’t mind.
Truthfully, you are ridiculously taken by the guy. After all, you have slept with him and it was one of the best nights you’d had in a long while. Haechan is witty, fun to talk to, and he doesn’t seem to hide who he really is. Unfortunately, he just also happens to be your boss’ son.
No matter how attractive and good at sex Haechan might be, you’re most definitely staying away from the ticking bomb.
You must stay away from the ticking bomb.
“Only in your dreams,” you finally retort, hoping that your face doesn’t expose your agitation as you finally turn around to leave.
Just as you move past him, Haechan leans over your shoulder, the whisper as loud as a scream to your ears.
“That’s exactly where I’ve been seeing you.”
You’d spent the rest of the party in a daze.
Trying your best to steer clear of both Mrs. Lee and her beloved son, you thoroughly focused on supervising every little corner of the venue. Maneuvering your way through the guests, you’d quietly made your escape a few hours later so nobody would notice your sudden absence.
If only Mrs. Lee hadn’t texted about your whereabouts halfway through your Uber ride, it’d have been a win.
Now finally at home, you barely step through the door before Alia appears from the kitchen, a mug in her hands as she snickers at your frazzled expression.
“I can’t tell if the party was a bust or not,” she says, taking a sip from her tea as she raises a curious eyebrow. “I’m scared of your answer but how was Mrs. Lee’s long-awaited party?”
Taking a few steps to slump onto the couch, you drop the cowboy hat and your bag to the floor, pressing a hand to your aching forehead as a sigh escapes from your mouth.
“The party itself was great, everything went according to the plan,” you start, pausing for a moment to brace yourself. “I also finally met Donghyuck.”
Alia’s eyes immediately light up with interest, fully invested in your ongoing drama. “The Donghyuck? Mrs. Lee’s son Donghyuck?”
You hum. As the exhaustion catches on, you can’t help a deadpan summary of your night. “You can also call him Haechan, I guess.”
Alia almost chokes on her tea, scrambling to put the mug down before she spills it rushing to sit beside you on the couch. “You’ve got to be shitting me!” she exclaims, eyes wide with disbelief. “Haechan as in that cute little guy you’ve been texting since that rooftop bar?”
“The one and only.” You sigh in exasperation, glaring at your friend as she suddenly bursts into a laugh. “I can’t believe you’re laughing. The universe is playing a cosmic sick joke on me and you’re laughing.”
“This is totally your booktok plot!” she beams, voice laced with amusement. “Turns out Mrs. Lee was right about you being perfect for her son.”
“Oh my God, don’t even start,” you groan, feeling your cheeks warm up for the millionth time of the day. “It was embarrassing. I had to pretend that we didn’t know each other while he was looking at me like this is the funniest thing in the world.”
“Are you for real?” Alia scoffs, frowning as if you’d grown two heads. “You were so into him that night. The fact that he has your number right now gives you away, girl.”
“I didn’t think I’d see him again,” you protest, still timid over the memory of your first meeting. “Besides, he’s my boss’ son, and—”
Your phone buzzes on the coffee table, Haechan’s name bright and clear on the screen.
You hate his impeccable timing. You hate it so much.
Before you can even think, Alia quickly grabs the phone instead, mischief all over her face as she stands up to keep it away from you.
“I’m on my knees, Barbie—” She starts reading, comically pausing as she shoots you a wide-eyed look. “Oh my God, what the fuck—”
You sink further into the couch, feeling as if your body is ready to combust. “Stop it!”
“I’m on my knees, Barbie,” Alia repeats, purposefully highlighting every word as she continues with a grin curling on her lips. “Where am I taking you for our date? I’m free when you’re free.”
As your roommate drops the phone on your lap, you block the screen with a glare at her. “Don’t say a word.”
“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours but this guy is down bad for you,” she points out, her face softening before she sits by your side again. “And you like him, so what’s up with the long face?”
There’s a brief pause in the conversation before you sigh, firmly shaking your head. “It’s too complicated,” you say, offering a meek shrug under Alia’s knowing eyes. “Plus, I really like my job. If anything happens, it might fuck things up, you know.”
Alia watches you for a second that feels way too long, then only nods in response with a quiet chuckle. “Alright. If you’re convinced.”
The thing is, you’re not convinced.
Something tells you that your friend knows that too.
It starts on a Monday after the fateful Halloween party.
Arriving at the office in the aftermath of your meeting with Haechan—or Donghyuck, as you know now—had your nerves hyping up the most dreadful scenarios that played in your head during the weekend.
While it’s true that Mrs. Lee is one of the kindest humans you’ve met, you’d be lying if her reaction to your interaction with her son didn’t worry you a little. Though she was none the wiser back at the party, you did wonder if Haechan actually told her anything or even if she noticed how absurd the conversation played out to be after the very polite introduction.
On top of that, you… kinda also left Haechan on read.
After an internal battle on whether you should simply reply and decline his invitation or downright just ignore him, you’d postponed an answer long enough to make it useless by now.
So it’s no wonder that you’re at the edge of your seat now, annoyingly aware of every person that passes by your little corner office, even after a few of your nosy co-workers stop by to ask if you really did meet Mrs. Lee’s handsome and smart son, Donghyuck.
Still, nothing could’ve prepared you to see Haechan in your office, leather jacket, black thick-rimmed glasses and a coffee tray in hand, entering the place as if he’s always been around.
“Good morning, Barbie,” he greets, flashing a cheeky smile at the apparent surprise on your face. “Don’t look so shocked. I’m just passing by to drop a little pick-me-up.”
Haechan hands one of the coffee cups and you cautiously accept with a sheepish nod, clearly taken aback by the gesture. “Thank you?”
As quick as he gets in, he’s immediately turning around to leave. You’re taking it as a secret to your grave, but you can’t help but feel a tip of disappointment as he walks to exit your office, though not without a last lingering glance over his shoulder.
You silently pray to every deity existent that Haechan doesn’t realize how feverish you suddenly feel.
Just before he leaves, a small laugh escapes from his lips as he shakes his head, an expression you can’t quite read on his face. “You’re really fucking cute, Barbie.”
On Wednesday, he does it again.
You’re conveniently on your way to drop a few documents for Mrs. Lee to sign when you catch sight of Haechan in the hallway, chatting animatedly with his mom as she’s returning from a business lunch with a few investors. It takes you a second to swiftly turn around, ready to rush back into your office when he spots you, calling out your name loud enough that half of the office must’ve heard.
“Finally a familiar face around here, huh?” He smiles, subtly taunting you despite the friendly facade. “You’ve got the best people working here, don’t you, Mrs. Lee?”
Mrs. Lee’s eyes immediately sparkled, glancing between the both of you with interest. “Oh, I certainly do.”
The interaction feels awfully similar to your meeting at the party. Standing beside your boss with the same mischievous gaze, Haechan’s eyes run through every little detail of your figure, visibly pleased with the turn of events.
“It's nice to see you again, Donghyuck,” you start, politely nodding at them as you hesitantly approach. “I’ve got some papers for you to sign, Mrs. Lee. I'll leave them on your desk, if you want?”
“No need, darling! Hand it over to Donghyuck, please,” your boss says, oblivious to your confusion if her grin is anything to go by.
Once with the folder in hands, Haechan flashes you a quick wink. “Thank you.”
You’re already racking your brain for a getaway excuse when Mrs. Lee huffs, playfully slapping her son’s arm. “You’re going to scare her away,” she chides, turning her attention to you as she sighs. “I know you’re always busy, darling, so we’ll let you go.”
“Right.” You smile tentatively, briefly clearing your throat. “Let me know if you need anything else, Mrs. Lee.”
Feeling his eyes on your back as you hurry back to the safety of your office, you secretly battle against a sudden need to reciprocate his attitude.
By Thursday, you’re kind of already expecting him.
Since his excuses have been a little too convenient to be coincidences, it doesn’t really surprise you to spot Haechan lingering around the office again, especially as he casually happens to bump into you at your lunchtime.
He manages to follow right behind you on the elevator, his cordial demeanor visibly shifting to the usual sassy one as soon as the doors close. With the thick-rimmed glasses and messy hair adding a nerdy touch to his confidence, you might have watched him a little more attentively today—at least, enough to notice that he’s wearing the same denim jacket from the night you met.
As he steps by your side, shoulders brushing against yours, Haechan sighs. “You haven’t told me where we’re going yet, Barbie,” he starts, a touch dramatic. “I’m in the mood for some sushi but I’ll go wherever you wanna go.”
You glance up at him, eyebrows raised in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Our date,” Haechan argues, clearly holding back a grin despite the deadpan tone lacing his voice. “You can pick the restaurant, I don’t mind.”
Feeling the proximity a little too much, his words send your brain into haywire. You’re still… very much aware of the unanswered texts on your phone, especially the most recent one sent just the night before.
“I didn’t expect to see you here again,” you lie, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible by rolling your eyes. “What brings you around this time?”
“I may or may not have left my laptop in Mrs. Lee’s office.” He shrugs, face breaking to a smirk. “Can you believe it? Good thing that I remembered about it.”
Taken by his casualness, you can’t hold back a chuckle. “Very convenient, if you ask me.”
“Are you implying something here, Barbie?” Haechan gasps, giving you a wide-eyed look as he leans over you. “I’m offended, you know. You make it sound like I’m taking advantage of the situation just to see you.”
You scoff, giving in to his attitude as a small smile breaks into your face. “That sounds unlikely.”
“Why didn’t you answer me last night, hm?” he mumbles, close enough that you can clearly see the little dots on his neck.
Your brain takes a turn at the sight, immediately betraying you with very vivid memories of your lips trailing through Haechan’s moles, all the way down to his chest—
The elevator’s chime saves you from a spiral.
As the smallest sigh leaves your mouth, Haechan’s question hangs in the air as you take a step back from him, now ready to hurry out of the cubicle. There’s a satisfied glint in his eyes, almost as if he knows exactly the effect he’s having on you, most definitely aware that he’s probably wearing you down.
Once the doors slide open, you’re quick to rush ahead of him, completely missing the weight of his gaze following you.
Almost as if to trick you, he makes a rather late appearance on Friday.
You spent most of the day sneaking glances around the office, frustration growing in your chest by each passing hour.
In a brief lapse of your sanity, you almost texted him during your lunch break, having briefly convinced yourself that it’d be mostly out of worry than anything else. Then, as Mrs. Lee bid you an early goodbye before leaving for one of her high-end club reunions, you had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from asking about him.
Too focused on giving Yangyang a detailed explanation of his next errand, you don’t even notice when Haechan finally stops by your office, an entire box of your favorite bakery in hands as he waits for your attention.
As your intern recognizes him first, he briefly glances between you and Haechan with a knowing look before hurriedly making an escape with a lousy excuse.
“I think he knows something I don’t,” Haechan teases, casually taking your co-worker’s seat with a feigned innocent smile. “What’s up with the face, Barbie? Did you miss me?”
“You’re late,” you huff, a tip of irritation lacing your voice. “I thought you weren’t coming today.”
Faltering for a second as he processes your words, Haechan blinks in surprise. “Oh, you did miss me,” he says amusedly, leaning forward as his typical grin returns. “I bet you were waiting for me all day, weren’t you?”
Curiously pointing at the box to avoid the question, a smile slips through despite your efforts to keep it cool. “If this is not for me then you can leave right now.”
“I’m hurt you think I’d do this for anyone else but you.” He frowns, glaring at you in feigned offense. “You’re the only one for me, Barbie, you know that.”
You give him a playful eye roll, finally opening the lid to find an array of cupcakes that conveniently also happen to be your favorite flavors. “Who told you I liked these?” you ask, picking one up in delight. “I don’t think anyone here would know my usual bakery order.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Haechan scoffs, watching a little too attentively as you take a bite of a chocolate fudge cupcake. “I just happened to pass by this place and thought I could bring you a treat after a busy week.”
Raising an eyebrow, you pause in between a second bite. “The bakery is all the way across town.”
“I don’t see how that’s relevant,” he argues, a smirk soon growing on his face again. “We have more important things to discuss right now. How does tomorrow night sound for our date?”
“Tomorrow’s good,” you answer promptly, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible waiting for his reaction.
With his usual confidence flickering to genuine surprise, Haechan stares at you for a moment, looking so stunned that you can’t help but find pleasure in finally catching him off guard. Reaching out for another cupcake, you swipe a finger at the strawberry frosting, bringing it to your mouth with a knowing smile at him.
Haechan just laughs, a hint of disbelief in his eyes as he closes them in feigned agony. “You’re really driving me crazy, Barbie.”
“If that’s all you came here for, you can go now.” You gesture towards the door, avoiding his gaze as you mindlessly shuffle through some papers on your desk. “I still have work to do and you already scared my intern away.”
“I love it when you’re mean to me,” he sighs, grinning at your exasperated scoff with a hand over his heart. “I’ll only leave because you can’t seem to concentrate if I’m around.”
Sneaking a glance at him as he stands up, you can’t suppress a small smile. “Thank you for the cupcakes.”
“Promise me you’ll reply when I text you later,” Haechan presses, his playful demeanor sobering just enough to feel distinctively stubborn. “If you don’t, I’ll keep calling you until you pick up.”
You feign a tired sigh, trying to play off your amusement. “I promise, Donghyuck.”
For a second, Haechan doesn’t move, still standing in front of your desk—and over you—as the cheeky glint returns to his eyes. “I love it when you say my name.”
The remark makes your chest tighten, heart speeding up because you know exactly what he means with that. Shaking your head, you shoo him away with a frown. “Just go already!”
Walking backwards towards the exit of your office, Haechan laughs, pausing just at the doorway to shoot you one last wink. “See you tomorrow, Barbie.”
Once he’s gone, you take a breath and reach out for another cupcake.
Yeah, apparently staying away from the ticking bomb doesn’t seem like a solid plan anymore, you guess.
Haechan’s restaurant choice isn’t what you expect for a first date.
Tucked deep into a quiet street, the hole-in-the-wall place is cozy and small enough to feel oddly intimate. There’s a nice handful of people around and as soon as you step in, a grandma quickly ushers you to a corner table, a glimmer of recognition taking over her eyes when Haechan greets her with a warm smile.
Wearing a black shirt that fits him ridiculously nice, you can’t help your gaze from lingering on his frame for a little longer than usual today.
As Haechan talks animatedly with the restaurant’s grandma, the only thing you can seem to focus on is the three little open buttons over his chest—
The click of his tongue calls your attention, your eyes finally meeting as Haechan leans closer to your ear, a cheeky grin tugging at his mouth. “I said you should introduce yourself, Barbie.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you apologize, offering the grandma a regretful look before you bow politely, giving her your name. “I’m… Donghyuck’s date. It’s nice to meet you, grandma.”
The older woman hums, a hand reaching for your chin while thoroughly regarding you with curious eyes. “She’s really pretty, oh my,” she mutters after a second, soon offering Haechan a pointed look with a smile on her face. “Alright, I believe you now, Haechannie.”
Confused by their interaction as she leaves, you can only obey her orders to sit down. When Haechan picks up the worn-out menu, you blink. “What… was that?”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he says smoothly, shaking his head as he winks. “I’ve been here a lot, do you trust me to order for you?”
At your agreement, Haechan waves for a waiter, smartly starting to list a rather hefty order while you take a second look around the place.
Aesthetically speaking, the restaurant doesn’t feel very promising. Despite being obviously family-owned with a very homey vibe to it, it does look a little run down with the faded pictures on the walls, peeled painting and worn-out, outdated furniture. Still, given its location and appearance, it’s surprisingly pretty packed with all kinds of people—and you do spot a few couples here and there too.
Choosing to trust Haechan either way, you’re still intrigued about how he’s become a regular in a place so off-the-grid.
“You just listed half of the menu without a single look,” you start, staring at him with a funny look once the waiter leaves. “You really must come here a lot.”
“I’d say at least a couple of times a month,” he answers, resting his forearms on the small table as he leans forward. “This grandma’s kimchi stew really changed my life.”
Amused by the sincerity of his voice, you chuckle. “Is that why she seems to love you so much? She was so happy to see you.”
Haechan grins, shrugging casually. “I used to work around this neighborhood, so she’s known me for a long time,” he explains, eyes narrowing playfully as he notes the sudden change on your face. “What’s with the look, Barbie?”
You shake your head, resting your chin on a hand as you study him with newfound attentiveness. “I’m just realizing that I’ve heard a lot about you, but I don’t know what you do for a living.”
“Wow, I thought Mrs. Lee did a better job pitching me to you,” he says, feigning indignation as you roll your eyes. “I own a record label with my friends. It’s an independent thing and not super big but we’re really good, so…”
Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise, most definitely not expecting such an unusual answer. “Oh, that’s… actually very cool,” you admit, leaning just a tiny bit forward with a curious smile at him. “Any artist that I might know?”
As a dramatic sigh escapes from his mouth, Haechan locks a steady gaze on you, his voice genuine despite a playful touch. “I sincerely hope not because if you know him then I don’t stand a single chance with you.”
You can’t help bursting into a laugh at how serious he looks, leaning back against your seat as you shoot him a look. “Aren’t we on a date?”
“We are.” He nods, a soft but unmistakable intensity flickering on his face. “This is probably a good time to let you know that I’m not giving up on this, alright? Now that you’re in, you can’t get out.”
Your lips twitch, a smirk soon tugging at the corner of your mouth. “That sounds terrifying,” you tease, amused. “I think I’ll take my chances this time, though.”
The food arrives just in time to interrupt him, though the smirk that grows on his face is enough of an answer to you.
As the waiter unloads a loaded tray onto your table, dishes looking as delicious as it smells, your excitement grows with the warmth that fills the space between you. Haechan is quick to reach around the plates once the waiter’s gone, relying on your vote of confidence as he places a few dishes for you.
“Alright,” he says, seemingly satisfied with the full table. “We’ve got this, Barbie.”
“I don’t think we do,” you counter, eyes taking one last curious glance around before focusing on him. “Which one should I go for first?”
“Is that even a question?” Haechan clicks his tongue, offering you a bowl of rice before pointing to the biggest pot on the table. “The kimchi stew, baby. Go ahead and take a few bites with the rice.”
Following his instructions, you don’t know if the heat spreading through your body is solely from the food’s spiciness, the casualness of his new nickname for you or the deliberate, effortless confidence laced to his rather gentle command.
With his expectant eyes watching for a reaction, you pause in between a second bite, grinning fondly at him. “Don’t look so worried, it’s really good.”
“You’re really a woman after my own heart,” he says, sounding as if he’d just had an epiphany. “Oh, my mom really knew what she was doing…”
“Considering we already knew each other, I think we can take the credit for this.” You shrug, feeling suddenly shy over the whole ordeal with Mrs. Lee. “Have you ever told her? That we’ve met before the party?”
“No, but I have a feeling that she knows. My mom always knows everything.” Haechan chuckles, eyes shining with mischief as he raises an eyebrow, leaning back on his seat. “Have you told her?”
“Are you kidding me?” you ask, voice dropping into a whisper as if the entire restaurant might overhear. “How am I supposed to tell my boss that I had a one night stand with her son without knowing it was actually her son?”
Giving a full laugh, there’s a hint of delight on his face as he smirks. “I mean, it was only a one night stand because you wanted it to be,” Haechan argues, a little too smug. “I have been trying, you know.”
“Let’s just not talk about that,” you cut off, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a flustered reaction as you chuckle nervously. “Since you already know what I do, you should tell me more about your label, please.”
Despite Haechan’s playful glare, making sure you know that he’s aware of your not-so-subtle deflection, the conversation quickly shifts to his job. Much like the night you first met at the bar, you’re completely entertained by his little anecdotes, taken by the humorous way he recounts his friendship stories and work mishaps with Mark, Johnny and Jaehyun.
It almost feels like he’s cracking the edges of your hesitance, his personality disarming you so easily that you can’t help but wonder why you’ve spent so much time keeping him at arm’s length—or if you ever did in the first place.
As the evening flies by, only leftovers forgotten around the table now, silence lulls between you for a moment.
Maybe you’re a little too aware of him, but noticing the sleeves of Haechan’s shirt starting to slide down his arms as he piles up a few empty bowls, you act before your brain can stop you.
“Wait,” you call softly, reaching out to hold his forearm. “Hold still for me?”
Haechan freezes mid-reach, something you can’t quite read in his eyes as he watches you push one sleeve back up, your fingers brushing against his skin by folding the fabric neatly into place. He willingly extends his arm when you move to the other sleeve, straightening it with the same care as you try to disregard his steady gaze locked on your figure.
When you let him go, Haechan slumps into his seat with a bemused chuckle. “You’re really making things harder for me, Barbie.”
As grandma’s loud and cheerful voice suddenly cuts through the restaurant, you’re saved by the bell seeing her approach your table, her face shifting to a frown as she looks between both of you. “Why did you eat so little?”
Though she doesn’t seem to notice the weirdly tense mood, your cheeks are still burning over his words as Haechan silently nods at you to lead the conversation.
“I ate quite a lot, grandma,” you start, reassuring her with a timid smile. “It was really, really delicious. The best food I’ve ever had.”
She coos at you for a second, quickly moving on to playfully swat Haechan’s shoulder with a glare. “Why did you take so long to bring your girlfriend here? That’s not something a nice boy like you should do.”
A grin takes over his face, Haechan giving you a knowing look before he nods eagerly at the older woman. “I promise to bring my girlfriend more often now, grandma.”
“You should leave if you’re done already,” she reprimands lightly, starting to set the empty dishes on a tray with a click of her tongue. “Don’t keep hogging my table like you always do with those friends of yours.”
After resisting your several attempts of help, the restaurant’s grandma soon walks you to the door, bidding goodbye with a kiss to both yours and Haechan’s cheeks as she makes him promise to come back soon again.
Stepping outside, the silence between you is filled with a strange mix of both ease and anticipation.
Save from a few partygoers coming and going, the street is mostly quiet, lights casting a warm glow around you despite the evening’s chill. With the realization that the night’s finally over, you aren’t quite sure what to expect of Haechan now—given that most of your interactions were built through a game of push-and-pull, it almost feels like you’ve reached the climax of a story that’s just started.
Completely unaware of your skepticism, he falls into step beside you with a dramatic sigh. “I think you should let me take you home.”
“You’re walking me to my car right now,” you say, rolling your eyes as an amused smile grows on your face. “I already told you a million times that I drove here.”
Haechan sighs again, his shoulders slumping for added effect. “Actually, I think you should take me to your home.”
You give him a look, ignoring the warmth spreading through your neck by feigning exasperation. “You also drove here, Donghyuck.”
“You’re really missing the big picture here, Barbie,” he groans, throwing his head back in feigned frustration. “Are you really going to reject me again? When are you going to stop pretending you don’t like me?”
As you shake your head, a smirk threatens to break your facade. “You said you like it when I’m mean to you.”
“I do,” Haechan says without missing a beat, sobering up to a serious expression despite the mischievous glint in his eyes. “I like it so much you can be the mean one this time.”
The implication behind his words make you pause for a second, feeling a little flustered despite the scoff that escapes from your mouth. “You’re unbelievable.”
Approaching your car soon enough, Haechan just watches as you unlock the doors and slide into the driver’s seat, quickly stepping forward to block you from closing yet. Looking up at him, you hope that the dim lights of the parking spot are enough to disguise your agitation.
With a hand on the roof of the car, he leans down just enough to meet your eyes. “Remember you promised to reply to my texts now,” Haechan insists, a smug smile growing on his face. “What’s gonna happen if you don’t reply?”
You give him a small, challenging grin. “You’re going to keep calling me until I pick up.”
“That’s right.” He nods, giving a satisfied chuckle. “You’ll let me know when you get home safe, won’t you?”
With a half-hearted snort, you nod back. “Yes, Donghyuck.”
Instead of answering, Haechan regards you for a second before extending a hand out, pushing the fallen strap of your top back in place with a feather-like touch to your upper arm.
As quick as it happens, he taps the roof of the car and closes the door for you, offering one last grin. “I’ll talk to you later, Barbie.”
Well, he did try to—which didn’t mean you let him.
At home, you reveled in watching Haechan’s name blowing up your phone, just for the sake of keeping him on his toes.
Barbie 10:44AM If you’re in a meeting then STOP texting me
Haechan grins at your message, his attention completely absorbed by his phone while Johnny and Mark debate something about winter releases in the back of his mind.
Gathered in Johnny’s office for a monthly meeting, the scene was familiar enough to allow him to zone out in your favor—while Mark was running his mouth away about a few potential songs, Johnny occasionally interjecting every now and then, Haechan quietly focused on pestering a few texts out of you.
In the following days of your date, he couldn’t seem to get enough of the familiar sharp, flirty back-and-forth between you, especially now knowing that you secretly enjoy it. So much that he takes a backseat in his friends’ conversation, unaware of his oldest friend’s reprimand until Mark waves a hand to his face, snapping his fingers as to pull him back to reality.
Haechan looks around Johnny’s office for a second, putting his phone down with a dismayed sigh. “I already said I’ll agree with whatever you guys decide.”
Mark and Johnny exchange amused looks, the latter raising an eyebrow at his friend with a mischievous chuckle. “Sure, so you do agree to leaving the higher percentage to Mark and I, right?”
At the youngest’s guilty grimace, Mark bursts a laugh before swatting his shoulder. “Dude, you’ve been grinning at your phone like an idiot for like, 30 minutes now,” he teases, a hint of confusion laced to his humorous tone. “You never shut up during our meetings, what’s going on?”
With a dramatic pause, Haechan looks between his two friends, a smirk soon growing on his face. “Alright, if you guys want to know so badly—”
Johnny snorts, immediately cutting him off with a playful look. “I didn’t ask anything.”
“If you guys want to know so badly,” he repeats pointedly, rolling his eyes at Johnny’s laugh. “You know that girl from the bar I’ve been talking to? Well, she’s the girl my mom tried to set me up with at the Halloween party.”
Haechan can’t help laughing at his friends’ reactions, both of them visibly puzzled by the half-assed burst of information. Johnny’s the one to break the silence first, an amused scoff escaping from his mouth.
“One of these days your mouth’s gonna get you in trouble,” he says, seemingly processing his friend’s words before leaning forward on his desk. “Let me see if I got this right—the girl from the bar is your mother’s employee… is that it?”
Mark raises an eyebrow, pausing for a second before his jaw drops. “Wait—what?”
“Ding ding ding! Points for Johnny!” Haechan jokes, unable to hide the amusement in his voice. “Turns out she works for my mom all this time and I just didn’t know.”
Johnny chuckles, shaking his head at the youngest’s antics. “You know what? That does sound like something that would only happen to you.”
“So basically, you’re telling us you hooked up with your mom’s employee?” Mark insists, a mix of amazement and shock on his face as Haechan proudly grins in response. “Man, that’s crazy. What are the odds?”
“How did she take it?” Johnny asks, narrowing his eyes. “Knowing you, I bet you were insufferable and freaked her out.”
Trying to play it cool with a nonchalant shrug, a very clear image of your Barbie dressed self pops in his mind as he chuckles. “I mean, she did pretend to not know me, but it was fun.”
The oldest hums, his curiosity peaked despite the careful approach. “So… what now? You guys are dating or what?”
Haechan falters, the smile on his face slipping for a second before catching himself. “We’re not dating… yet,” he admits, dragging out the words as if to make them believable. “We went on a date a few days ago but she’s still… a little skeptical, you know.”
Mark snorts, rolling his eyes. “Skeptical of you? What a surprise.”
“Shut up, she’s just figuring out if I’m serious or just messing around,” Haechan groans, shooting his friend a peeved look. “I mean, I’m obviously serious but she might think I’m just playing games or something.”
“She’s not wrong, though,” Johnny points, a teasing smirk on his face. “Again, if I know you, you are probably playing games.”
“Yeah, but not like that!” he whines, huffing loudly as he slumps against the chair. “This is just me being charming. There’s a difference.”
Mark raises an eyebrow, grimacing. “Is there, though?”
Haechan pauses, opening his mouth to reply but quickly closing it again as a comeback escapes him. For a brief moment, he feels and looks genuinely dumbfounded, which is definitely a rare and mildly entertaining sight for his two older friends. Though he’d never admit it, there’s no denying that Mark and Johnny planted a little seed of uncertainty in his head.
Crossing his arms, Johnny can’t help but laugh at his sullen expression. “Have we finally broken you?”
“No, you haven’t,” he fires back, voice remarkably resembling a bratty child. “I’m just… plotting.”
“Can I give you one last word of advice?” Johnny asks, toning the conversation down to a more serious note with a knowing glance at the youngest. “You should probably put yourself in her shoes. I know it must’ve been fun for you to find out who she is, but she does work for your mom. Do you get it?”
After a brief moment of silence between them, Mark lets out a low whistle, visibly impressed at the words. “Damn, that was a good thought.”
“Ugh, alright, I get it,” Haechan concedes, the corner of his mouth threatening a grin. “I’ll try to play it cool… for her.”
The conversation is cut short by the buzz of his phone against the desk, drawing everyone’s attention as it lights up with a familiar nickname.
Barbie 10:56AM I can’t believe you actually listened to what I said
Mark and Johnny exchange a second look watching Haechan’s grin widen, a look on his face that’s enough to tell them that he’s far from playing it cool like promised.
It just happens to be one of those weeks.
As you walk through the lobby, leaving the office much later than usual for a Friday, you feel your shoulders heavy with exhaustion. After days of nonstop meetings, tight deadlines and constant phone calls due to an unexpected slip of your co-workers, all you want is to go home, kick your heels off and forget about the existence of numbers and currencies for a while.
Still, despite how worn-out you feel, the sight of Haechan standing by his car just outside the building rises a hint of excitement in your chest.
With your surprise taken by anticipation—especially after the few days where your interaction had been limited to his insufferable messages—you can’t help but feel relieved to see him. Though there hadn’t been time for much else, you’d still caught yourself thinking about him more often than you cared to admit.
You’re also not admitting any time soon that Haechan’s the easiest, most fun part of your routine too.
In the stupor of your fatigue, you take in his fluffy brown jacket and the squared glasses on his face, making him look so warm and cuddly that you don’t even think twice before throwing your arms around his shoulders in a hug.
Feeling Haechan’s confusion through his hesitation to hold you back, a sigh escapes from your mouth as you tighten the hold and bury your face against his neck, seemingly enough to tell him something.
“You’re being too nice to me, I’m worried,” he jokes lightheartedly, a contrast to his frown as he attempts a look at your face. “Come look at me, please?”
His hands are still running up and down your back in the gentle embrace as you glance up, pulling back just enough to meet his eyes. “Hi.”
“Hey,” Haechan greets, his usual teasing tone softened with concern. “What’s wrong? I was expecting a long face and maybe an insult, not the best hug I’ve had in my entire life.”
“I’m just… really tired.” You chuckle humorlessly, too quiet. “This week was hell and my brain’s completely fried, I’m sorry.”
As his face shifts to something you can’t read, Haechan hums. “I was thinking about putting some food in you,” he starts, his hands moving to your arms almost soothingly. “But if you’re too tired, then I can take you ho—”
“No,” you interrupt right away, shaking your head as a familiar warmth heats your cheeks. “I’m starving and… I wanted to see you.”
He blinks, a slow grin growing on his face as he clutches his chest in the usual dramatic fashion. “The things I’d do for you, Barbie…” Haechan groans, back to his playful nature. “I know just the place. Do you trust me?”
You watch as he extends a hand, huffing a laugh before taking his hold. “Yeah.”
There’s something unexpectedly tender in the way Haechan takes the lead then, effortlessly building the conversation with a touch of softness you hadn’t witnessed before with him. Though the drive is fairly quick, his smart quips slipping every now and then to still tease you, the feeling that maybe this moment holds a whole different meaning to your heart doesn’t escape you.
The ramen stand is nestled just by the river, people scattered around under the yellow lights as the buzz of conversation and clinking glasses mingles with the faint rush of water nearby.
As both of you weave through the crowd, Haechan still holding tight to your hand as he leads the way, the air gets warmer enough to make you salivate at the lingering aroma of broth and grilled meat. With a perfect view of the river, he’s quick to spot an empty table, moving around before gesturing for you to take the stool first.
Eyeing the table for a second, you hesitate for a second before speaking up. “Can’t I sit beside you?”
Haechan pauses, still holding the stool as he glances up at you, his furrowed eyebrows instantly melting to a knowing smile. “You love me, don’t you?”
You scoff, brushing past him to take the seat with a grin betraying you. “Don’t bother, then.”
“No, no, no,” he counters, quickly sliding his own stool next to yours before dropping into the seat with a chuckle. “Are you kidding? Who am I to deny you something?”
As you pretend to ignore him, focusing on the vendor for the moment, Haechan doesn’t seem phased by it as he leans closer, sneaking glances at you while casually placing the order under another vote of confidence.
Once you’re alone again, he sighs with a feigned glare at your direction. “So… do I have to talk with Mrs. Lee for overworking you?”
You laugh, the sound coming off a little worn out despite your amusement. “It’s not your mother’s fault,” you reply, shaking your head with a deep breath. “I don’t think she even knows what happened. If she did, she’d definitely scold me for working so late.”
“As she should,” Haechan argues, eyes suddenly turning a little too serious. “If whatever’s happening is giving you too much trouble, you should tell her.”
Tilting your head as you lean forward, a smile tugs at your mouth. “Are you worried about me?”
“Yeah, actually,” he admits, grinning mischievously unlike his deadpan tone. “I am obsessed with you for a reason, after all.”
“You really are crazy,” you joke, not resisting a laugh as you quickly place a finger over his mouth just as he’s about to speak. “Please, don’t say you’re crazy for me.”
With a dramatic sigh, Haechan pulls back from you with a dirty look. “Are you calling me a liar?”
“I know you’re not.” You smile, faltering for a second as the moment seems to suddenly shift with the softness laced to your voice. “I mean, I’m starting to believe you’re not. I… hope you’re not, so…”
A mix of emotions seem to flicker through his face at your words, enough to visibly leave Haechan a little floored while the vendor approaches with the food, the timing for an answer lost as the man places the steaming bowls of ramen and grilled skewers between you.
He clears his throat as the vendor leaves, shifting his attention to the food for a second. “Let’s make a bet,” Haechan suddenly starts, resting his elbows on the table as he leans forward. “This is going to be the best ramen you’ve ever had so you’ll let me take you as my plus one to my mom’s Holiday dinner.”
You frown confusedly at his impromptu offer, unsure if he’s actually serious about it. “What?”
“You heard me,” he counters, sounding firmer now as a mischievous smile brightens his face. “If this is the best ramen you’ve ever had, we’ll go to Mrs. Lee’s Holiday dinner together.”
If Mrs. Lee’s annual Halloween party is already highly anticipated by her employees and associates alike, you can safely say that Mrs. Lee’s annual Holiday dinner is an experience of its own. Having attended your first one the year before, just a few months after you’d been hired, it made you wonder if you’d actually last in the job.
First, because it officially marked the start of your boss’ matchmaking attempts—specifically after Haechan bailed on her at the last minute—and second, because it’s kind of… a big deal.
The Holiday dinner is quite fancy, packed with the corporate A-list Mrs. Lee works with.
So you can’t help but hesitate, raising a doubtful eyebrow at him. “That’s silly! Aren’t you going either way?”
Haechan clicks his tongue, voice flat as if he’s stating the obvious. “If it’s not with you, not really.”
“Well, considering you bailed last year, you should probably attend this one,” you argue, pursing your lips to hold back a smile. “Besides, what makes you think I wouldn’t lie just to get out of this?”
“You wouldn’t dare.” Haechan grins, leaning closer with a challenging look at your direction. “If you truly want me at this boring dinner, you won’t lie.”
As you shake your head, a laugh escapes before you can stop it. “Are you really placing your cards on a bowl of ramen right now?”
“This is not just a bowl of ramen, Barbie,” he says, gesturing dramatically at the bowl. “It’s the bowl of ramen. You should’ve learned by now that I don’t mess around with good food.”
You pick up the chopsticks, the corner of your mouth twitching from holding back your amusement. “I’ll try it with one condition,” you offer, narrowing your eyes. “If I don’t like it, you owe me something.”
Haechan snorts, eyes gleaming with anticipation. “Just name it and I’ll do it even if you like it.”
“I’ll tell you later,” you reply, pausing before you take a first bite, dragging the moment out just to spite him.
Even if you were a good liar, it most definitely wouldn’t be worth it—it almost feels like the taste explodes in your mouth and if Haechan’s reaction says anything, a smirk slowly growing on his face by each second, your expression is probably gives you away.
As he chuckles to himself, Haechan looks nothing but satisfied while stirring his own bowl. “I told you so, baby.”
The river’s gentle waves sound like background music as the conversation eases between you, the meal wrapping up in no time with Haechan feeding a few remaining pieces of meat to a curious kitty that sneaks around your feet under the table.
Taken by the warmth of a full stomach and the exhaustion of your hellish week, you scoot closer to him, enough to lean against Haechan’s side as your head falls on his shoulder.
Quick to welcome you, he wraps an arm around your back before pulling you even closer. “Tired?”
“A little,” you mumble, closing your eyes for a second before chuckling. “Can I ask you a stupid question?”
He nods, hands running up and down your back now. “Yeah, baby.”
“How come you’ve got two names?” you ask, giving him a funny look as he laughs. “I mean, if your real name is Donghyuck, where did Haechan come from?”
“When we started the label, I used to sing some of the guide tracks of our projects,” Haechan explains, smiling at the surprise on your face. “I didn’t want to use my real name if someone ended up using it, so I made one up.”
“It fits you,” you say, sighing as you close your eyes again. “I love your real name, too.”
Despite the small grin curling his lips, there’s a flicker of something more serious in Haechan’s eyes. “You love me too?”
Instead of indulging his teasing, you glance up at him with a knowing smile. “Thank you for tonight, Donghyuck,” you start, using his real name with a touch of softness that feels a little different. “I really needed this.”
Haechan regards you for a second, quietly watching for a second before he chuckles fondly. “Anytime, Barbie,” he murmurs, squeezing you against his side with a hum. “You know that, don’t you?”
As you look out at the river, cozy and warm in his hold as the yellow lights shimmer against the water, the answer comes as quickly as the waves crashing nearby.
You know now.
Barbie 9:26PM Are you busy?
9:26PM Look who it is Never busy for you What do I owe the pleasure baby
Barbie 9:27PM Hi Hyuck I hope I’m not interrupting anything
9:27PM I’m Hyuck now??? 😀
Barbie 9:27PM Don’t be insufferable about it I was just wondering if you’re free tomorrow night?
9:29PM Are you asking me on a date? Am I dreaming right now??
Barbie 9:29PM You should probably pinch yourself then Maybe you could come over for dinner? I’ll even cook for you this time
9:30PM You’re so lucky my schedule is clear baby I’m all yours if you want it
Barbie 9:30PM I do want it
9:30PM You do??
9:31PM I’ll call until you pick up Barbie
9:35PM You want me???
Outside your apartment, Haechan doesn’t realize how antsy he feels until the bottle of wine nearly slips from his fingers, fidgeting impatiently while waiting for you to open the door. With the faint sound of music slipping through, a song he doesn’t really recognize playing inside, the entire situation feels like a ridiculous, senseless fever dream.
At this point, he doesn’t know what to expect.
Thinking back from the first night you’d spent together to the absurd twist of events that followed at his mother’s Halloween party, he’s strangely unsure of… well, whatever today can possibly mean.
So much that Haechan swears his brain short-circuits as soon as the door opens—wearing a dress he’s very much familiar with, looking like the perfect picture of his wildest, most vivid memories, you smile knowingly at him, taking the surprise on his face with a hint of satisfaction.
“You must take pleasure in my suffering,” he starts solemnly, his dramatic sigh earning a laugh from you. “I’m having full flashbacks right now.”
Rolling your eyes, you step aside to let him in. “Good evening, Donghyuck.”
A few steps into your apartment, he looks over his shoulder as you follow him to the living room. “Are you trying to tell me something?” Haechan pauses, the question soon followed by a coy smile. “Baby, all you need to do is ask. I’ve told you—”
“Get your mind off the gutter,” you cut off, attempting to hide your amusement with a scoff. “I invited you for dinner, didn’t I?”
He chuckles, setting the wine bottle on the coffee table with a quick glance around your place. “You didn’t specify what kind of dinner, though.”
At the subtle suggestion in his voice, you shoot him a withering look. “The kind that involves food, Donghyuck,” you argue, a snicker escaping from your lips. “Unless you want to starve tonight, then I can—”
“Alright, alright,” Haechan interrupts, holding his hands up in surrender with a smirk. “I promise to behave from now on.”
You huff, raising an eyebrow at him. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
While you head into the kitchen, Haechan lingers around your living room for a moment, taking in the little details of your apartment. From a collection of candles by the TV, packed bookshelves to an array of pictures on the walls, the small place feels very cozy, somehow so unmistakably you.
It’s only when he follows you into the kitchen, leaning against the counter, that Haechan remembers your roommate—eyes immediately spotting a polaroid glued to the fridge, the image showing you in a birthday hat, squeezed in a hug between the girl and a lanky, tall guy.
He chuckles at the picture, your name paired with a + Alia & Jungwoo on the bottom. “Where’s your roommate, by the way?”
“She’s in Vegas with her boyfriend,” you explain, glancing over your shoulder with an amused laugh. “Apparently they got married by Elvis last night? They sent me pictures and everything.”
Haechan gapes for a second, a playful whistle following. “Damn, we’ll have to step up the game in our wedding, then.”
“I’d have to accept it first, which I’m not planning to do,” you snort, giving him a look. “Set the table for me, would you? The plates are in the cabinet on your right.”
As you finally sit down to eat, settled at the coffee table instead in a similar set-up to your ramen date, Haechan can’t help stealing a few glances at you. There’s something about the moment that feels too natural, an ease between you that sends his mind to places he still isn’t sure you’re at.
Watching you take a sip of the wine a little too attentively, a hum pleased hum escaping from your lips, the words slip before Haechan can stop them. “I told my mom that we already knew each other before the Halloween party.”
You choke with the wine, falling into a coughing fit as your eyes widen at him. “What? Why would you do that?”
“She’s known for a while,” Haechan continues, smiling lightly at your reaction. “Remember the day I started visiting the office to see you?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you scoff, somehow looking caught between confusion and shock. “It’s been like… almost a month by now. Are you telling me she’s known this entire time?”
He chuckles, taking a sip of his own glass. “You’re so clueless, Barbie,” Haechan teases, bumping his shoulder against yours. “I thought you’d notice the day you met both of us at the office. She wasn’t being very subtle about it.”
With a defeated groan, you shoot him a timid glance. “How much does she know?”
“Who do you think I am? I’m not disclosing my sex life to my mother,” he protests, frowning dreadfully as you burst into a laugh. “I only told her we met at a bar, exchanged numbers, and that we talked every once in a while.”
“She didn’t mention anything,” you start, looking a little apprehensive. “Like, she tried to set me up with you for so long. I would’ve thought she’d say something about it knowing that we… you know.”
“That might have been on me? I asked her to not say anything,” Haechan answers hesitantly, a half apologetic smile curling on his lips. “I didn’t want to put you in trouble at work because we had something going on—and I know you were a little hesitant because of it, so…”
You watch him for a brief second, long enough for his mind to overdrive. “We should eat before the food gets cold.”
Despite feeling completely enamored by your sudden little spiel, Haechan swallows a groan of frustration when you start listing the impromptu menu, the moment now broken as the conversation takes another route.
The food’s cleared when the mood subtly shifts again, half of the wine bottle gone while your playlist comes down to softer, slower songs.
As you shift closer to him, both still sitting on the floor of your living room, he can’t help but savor how shy you look. “So… how did you like it?”
Haechan tilts his head to take a better look at your face, his grin widening at your eye roll at his antics. “I was wondering if you’re open for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
“It depends,” you answer, voice a tone cheekier despite how quiet it sounds. “I’ve got tomorrow off. Are you staying or leaving after breakfast?”
He exhales a laugh, running a hand through his hair. “You’re driving me crazy for real, Barbie.”
On your knees, you move closer just enough to cup Haechan’s face, pressing a tentative, soft kiss to his lips. Taken by surprise, it takes a second for the pin to drop in his brain, warmth spreading through his body like wildfire as soon his arms close around your waist, pulling you closer until you’re settled on his lap.
As he leans into your touch, breaking the kiss with a sigh from you, Haechan can’t help a grin. Catching your breath with your forehead resting against his, you laugh at his dazed expression, pressing a smooch to his cheek.
With a blink, he groans playfully. “Oh, I’m definitely staying for breakfast now.”
You smile softly, shaking your head but not pulling away from him. “You’re impossible.”
“You love it,” Haechan murmurs, hands brushing down your back as he tilts his head up, lips just barely touching yours. “Another one, please?”
Giving him another quick kiss, you smile against his mouth, lingering closer for a second. “I think Jungwoo’s got a few t-shirts here that should fit you.”
“You have another man’s clothes in your home?” he asks, feigning an irked frown as his head falls back in a dramatic fashion. “Oh, I’m going to be sick.”
Though the smile on your face gives you away, you still don’t resist rolling your eyes at his antics. “Are you done?”
Shaking his head, Haechan offers you his habitual grin. “I’m never done.”
When you don’t immediately respond, the silence shifts the atmosphere for a bit. Watching as your gaze softens, you take him by surprise brushing your fingers against his cheek, purposefully over the moles on his face.
Your voice is quieter now, almost warm with sincerity as you speak up. “Thank you for coming over, Hyuck.”
Trying to play it off as best as he can, heart pounding against his chest, Haechan chuckles fondly. “I guess that means you’re stuck with me now.”
“I guess so.” You laugh, eyes sparkling at the unspoken promise. “You don’t seem too upset about it, though.”
As he tightens the hold around your frame, bringing you closer again, Haechan feels you relax into his embrace. The agreement settles between you as easily as the evening ends, his lips pressing a final kiss to your forehead without much words—just your shared understanding and quiet certainty.
“Can’t be upset when I’m exactly where I want to be, Barbie.”
The car rolls to a stop outside the beautifully decorated venue, Christmas lights casting a soft glow at the grand entrance of Mrs. Lee’s lavish Holiday dinner.
As he turns off the engine, Hyuck still seems a little taken by the vibrant pink of your gown, glancing over at you with a very familiar look.
“Once we walk through that door, it’s over for you,” he jokes, though a hint of something else betrays the playfulness of his voice. “Are you sure about this?”
Leaning over the console, you kiss him a little too forcefully, a sound of protest escaping from Haechan’s lips when you pull back. “I’m sure, Hyuckie,” you answer, giggling at the look on his face. “We should go before someone thinks we’re doing something in here.”
A grin takes over his face, looking a little too invested in your scenario. “Baby, that’s the greatest idea you’ve had—” Haechan stops himself at the slap on his arm, laughing as he unlocks the doors. “Alright, I got it, I’m sorry.”
Outside, he helps you adjust the straps at the back of your dress, pressing a last kiss to your shoulder before sliding his hand into yours. “Let’s go, Barbie.”
Together, you head towards whatever surprises the night might hold.
──── Room 69 , sim jaeyun
⸻ Room Sixty-Nine, where love is made
SYNOPSIS ⸻ As your parents' company fails to outperform others, you find yourself in the midst of a new financial situation and on the search for a new apartment. The roommate you stumble upon has no intentions of getting to know you better and well- you wonder how long it'll take until he fucks you.
PAIRING ⸻ roommate!jake x fem!reader
GENRE ⸻ strangers to lovers, smut
TAGS ⸻ smoking, foul language/cursing, jake is weird and stalkerish?, making out, dom!jake, oral sex (m. receiving), degrading, unprotected sex, creampie
WC ⸻ 7k
⸻ NSFW CONTENT UNDER CUT, MINORS DNI. this is purely fiction made for entertainment purposes only. do not like= don't read.
You were broke. Triple digits that usually decorated your bank account slowly turned into double digits, as you tried to endure the new reality. It was hard to let go of your usual habits, spending money like it had absolutely no value, living a lavish life and going out every Friday. Now, you had to count every penny. Instead of purchasing a basket load of expensive fruit and drinks, you were forced to reach for the cheapest bread and milk in order to survive.
Maybe you were exaggerating. Your parents' company hadn't gone completely bankrupt, yet. The technology department, which brought in the most profit, had endured a sudden decline due to a new company, which had stolen all their clients. Maybe they were exaggerating too, the other four departments running just fine.
Even with that, they had decided it would be best if you gave up your expensive apartment and spending mania. You would live without spending such amounts monthly, but you definitely wouldn't survive without your city view apartment.
Since you were little you dreamt of moving out, and living in one of those high up buildings only the richest could afford. And upon viewing the apartment for the first time it was everything you had imagined. Down to the spruce wood kitchen and bottle green tiles in the bathroom.
But here you were, intensely searching through apartment listings, hoping to find something equally nice for a good price.
You had hoped your best-friend, Minjeong would offer you to move in with her, knowing she had a spare room in her apartment not far away from your own, but her boyfriend's move in had crushed that desire to the ground.
You didn't want to let the thought sink in, but you knew you’d have to get a roommate. You knew that was the only solution for your poor financial situation. Unfortunately for you, any of your friends that were potential roommate material, either lived with their parents still or weren't looking to share a place with anyone.
You had honestly put off the search for a long time, hoping you’d soon get a call from your parents saying they had finally given up on this stupid idea of cutting your monthly budget in half, but it never happened.
One offer caught your attention, the monthly rent wasn't too bad, allowing you to still live comfortably, the deposit was also doable, and the room was just fine.
With a few clicks, a message chain between you and your hopefully new leasing agent had formed. You prayed the offer was still available, slowly warming up to the place, analyzing every detail about the apartment through the numerous pictures attached to the advert.
Soon enough, the generous and kind Mister Choi Jaeyoung had responded with a short confirmation and a list of information regarding his availability and precise location of the complex. You had agreed on a short tour of the apartment, but by now you had already memorized every corner. You’d probably give him a better tour of that place at this point than he could.
“This would be your room” he pointed with his hand, gesturing you to enter the space to look around.
It was even better in real life, the sun shined brightly through the large window, and the closet was bigger than you expected. Obviously, it was nothing compared to your high ceiling bedroom that included a bathroom and medium sized wardrobe, but still it satisfied you enough to sign all the papers your new leasing agent threw at you.
“That room, right there” he said looking up to the closed door “-is your roommate's, Jake’s, room” he said, and you nodded.
“Is he here?” you asked, hoping to meet him.
You wondered why the boy hadn't come out by now in order to introduce himself to you. I mean, you two were going to be living with each other for a long time, it would be nice to at least see what kind of man he was.
“I don't think so. Even if he is, I wouldn't recommend bothering him” he answered, and you tilted your head, confused.
“Why? Don’t tell me he’s like fucked in the head or something” you cursed yourself for the choice of words.
The older man laughed “No, Jake is a nice guy, but I reckon he’s just a little more on the introverted side. He treasures his peace more than anything, let’s say it like that”
“I think I can respect that,” you smiled.
“There was someone here before you, but he was definitely a talkative person, and I guess he didn't like the fact that Jake wasn't,” Jaeyoung added, and you nodded.
“That really isn't a good enough reason to move out” you laughed lightly and so did the man beside you.
You felt a bit uneasy at his words. Was Jake really that bad? Obviously your leasing agent, who was too nice for his own good, wouldn't admit to Jake being a complete lunatic with a fucked up sleep schedule, or something even worse than that. But the place was pretty tidy, it calmed your mind a little bit.
“With that being said, you can move in as soon as you’d like. If you need any help with moving your belongings, I’d be more than happy to help you find a nice moving company. You really can't trust people with your stuff these days” he smiled kindly and you thanked him for the tour.
You guessed you’d have to figure out your mysterious roommate on your own.
_____
It had been a week since you moved in. A whole seven days had passed, and you haven't even seen his face.
You hoped that maybe he’d offer you a helping hand with all the moving boxes, and furniture, but Jake didn't even bother to come out of his room the day of your move in.
You knew he was there. You had passed by his room, hearing a quiet melody coming from his room or an indecipherable chatter. You considered knocking, introducing yourself, but the words of your landlord kept ringing in your ears, keeping you away from that door.
“Isn't he going to like, help us?” Minjeong mumbled, wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead.
She had been helping you move everything in since 9AM, and Jake hadn't even budged. You were debating asking him instead of Minjeong, finally getting a chance to let yourself be known to him, but then again you knew he’d decline, or worse, not give you an answer at all.
“Doesn’t he need to use the toilet? Or eat?” Minjeong asked, sitting down on your bed, the two of you struggled to build. “A real man should have made an initiative to help, and build this furniture” she added, looking around at the still boxed up closet and desk.
Sizing down your living space also meant getting rid of your ridiculously large furniture, that had absolutely no right fitting into this small room. Then again, it was great to use some of the pieces as bribery, you knew Minjeong would never agree to do this for free.
“I don’t care, but it is kinda creepy” you said, sitting down on the chair next to your dresser.
You weren’t alone, but that’s what it felt like. You wondered what he looked like. You had looked him up on Instagram, Tiktok, even Facebook, but none of the profiles under his name matched the information you had about him.
“It is! What if he’s like a 40 year old creep that lurks in these areas of town cause he knows this is where most students live” she inquired, and it made you feel uneasy. The story sounded plausible, and that’s when you felt like going into his room ‘by accident’ just to see him would be the best idea.
“Don’t say that, you’re freaking me out” you said, and she laughed lightly. It was unlikely, to be completely realistic, but you could never truly know until you saw him.
“If he turns out to be weird, you can always stay with me” she reassured, walking over to the mirror.
“And listen to Heeseung getting his dick wet all night long? Yeah, no thank you” you half smiled, and she laughed.
“Better than a 40 year old pervert” she pointed out, and you were forced to agree with the girl.
Minjeong sighed turning to you “I swear I’m going to knock on his door myself if you don’t do it”
You shook your head. You’d rather torture yourself with all the things that were yet to be done, than reach out to Jake.
“You know what my landlord said, he could kill me in my sleep if I bother him” you warned, and she sighed once again, her gaze falling on the numerous boxes.
“I have to leave soon, are you seriously going to do all this by yourself?” she asked, and you nodded with a sad expression on your face “You should ask Jay to help you” she grinned evilly.
You chuckled “We’re not that close”
“Oh c’mon, I’m not telling you to have sex with him on your precious newly built bed, just ask him for a little help. Have you seen his muscles, he can take all these boxes at once” she said, and you hid your face in your hands, smiling “And stop acting like you don’t want him. You can’t hide anything from me”
Jay was hot. Really fucking hot. He was tall, well proportioned with long legs and a muscular torso. He carried himself so well, with a style that was so different, and a captivating face. He was also a well known frat boy and stoner, but you didn’t mind, it wasn’t anything unusual. One of the things Jay liked about you is that you weren’t naive- he knew he wasn’t the only one you were fucking around with, and you knew you weren’t his only girl.
“I can handle it, don’t worry”
Minjeong had left, leaving you alone with all the unmade furniture, unpacked boxes and thoughts regarding your roommate.
What if he truly was a 40 year old, unemployed man who earns all his money from his parents?
Or a discord mod, who has awful posture, and a dent in his head from the constant use of headphones?
But then again, you saw the food in the fridge, he had already cleared up two shelves for you, but his own contained a healthy variety of food, which calmed your mind in some way. The same went for the bathroom, it was clean, all his things were organized, and the products he used seemed to be those a rather younger person would use.
His music taste also contradicted all your suspicions and theories. You noted that he listened to a lot of RnB, and from time to time he’d play some rap or hip hop.
That’s how your first week went by, analyzing every detail, and attempting to listen in on any conversations he’d have, just to finally get an idea of who your secretive roommate was.
On friday you came back from your pilates class, something you refused to give up, crying in front of your parents to let you have at least one thing. They were reluctant, but gave in sooner than you thought they would.
You were extremely spoiled, and there was no point in denying it. You were raised that way, and you found peace in using that as an excuse for your behavior.
Some part of you was expecting to catch Jake in the bathroom or kitchen, hoping you’d finally get to speak to him but the only thing of his that you came home to was a handwritten note with numerous household rules.
It made you laugh. It’s not like he was paying more than you, but still he thought he had any right to boss you around in your own place. And his handwriting- it was awful. No matter how serious you tried to take the note, it felt like you were trying to decipher ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.
Some of them were reasonable, cleaning up after yourself in the kitchen, keeping the bathroom tidy, and doing your own laundry- all of it was understandable and something you already had been doing.
No smoking was something you could agree to, you didn’t really do it anyways so it didn’t bother you much. The same went for no music after 11PM.
You couldn’t help but laugh at the “no having friends over” point on his long list. It was insane, especially since he had a friend over just two nights ago. You had no idea why you were the only one not allowed to bring friends over, wondering if maybe you had to ‘earn it’, or if it was because you were a girl.
There was absolutely no way you were going to comply with any of these.
_______
On a Tuesday morning you woke up later than usual. The only reason for that was a previous cancellation of your anatomy class.
No matter how spoiled and entitled you felt, you’d never allow yourself to miss class or fail an assignment or exam. Being a model student was something your father engraved in you from a young age, sending you to expensive boarding schools and making sure you get into a good university.
You wondered if Jake had left for class already, or for work. Not like you knew what he was doing in life anyway.
You opened your phone to an excited text message chain from Minjeong who expressed her excitement after a steamy and long night with Heeseung. A small smile surfaced on your face as you texted back her with a simple reply.
You were afraid to leave your room. It was stupid, this was your place and you had every right in the world to go and make yourself fucking breakfast. But the impression Jake made on you was holding you back. You wondered how he managed to avoid you every single time, how you never were able to catch him leaving the bathroom or making a dish in the kitchen. That definitely took a lot of skill and starving on his side.
It was pathetic, the more you thought about it. You were his roomate for fucks sake, not a serial killer who was just waiting to slash his head off. You two didn't have to be friends, you never expected that of him or anyone else you were going to move in with. But a short greeting would be nice.
After a short call with Minjeong who pulled you back to reality, with a stern voice convincing you that Jake probably wasn't in the apartment anyway.
“If you're going to behave like this, you should start looking for a new apartment” Minjeong said, and you thought about it for a second.
Maybe she was right, but the thought of him scared you so much to the point that you would rather starve yourself than leave the room.
The first week you purposely did things to catch him in action, get him to finally talk to you, and that slowly faded into you not even wanting to pass by him in the hallway.
“Fuck Y/n, seriously he’s probably some incel loser who’s afraid to look a woman in the eye” you laughed at her comment, silently agreeing “I can come over and make food with you if that’s going to make you feel safer” she said, and you instantly were reminded of his set of rules and regulations.
“Can’t. He doesn't allow friends over” you answered and she scoffed loudly.
“So you did speak to him?” she said, still in disbelief.
“No, not at all. This stupid prick left a note on my desk when I was out, 30 fucking rules and most of them seemingly only apply to me. He had a friend over just 4 nights ago!” you answered angrily, and she sighed.
“You should move out of there, seriously. If not that, then purposely piss him off until he moves out” she inquired, and it birthed a whole bundle of ideas in your head.
Maybe that was your solution. Purposely pissing him off and going against his crazy rules, forcing him to move out before you were forced to do it.
“That’s a good idea, I like it” you answered, and she cooed excitedly.
“Invite Jay and fuck so loud he’ll be slamming doors” she said, and you were quick to hush her, embarrassed by her ideas.
“I gotta go make a mess in the kitchen then” you remembered one of the early points on the list, bidding her a quick farwell and ending the call.
She had already convinced you that Jake wasn't in the apartment, so you didn't even bother getting dressed, just slightly adjusting your underwear and strapless top.
It really felt like you were living alone most of the time so none of the habits you picked up on while living alone had the chance to vanish.
You slowly open the door with a quiet creek to the floor boards and leave the room, your face in your phone as you checked all the notifications that bundled up overnight.
You weren't expecting your first meeting with Jake to look like this, but there he was in all his glory.
He must've thought the same thing- you shouldn't be here at this hour- a single pair of boxers keeping him away from standing fully nude in front of you.
You didn't even know the man's last name but here you were standing practically naked in front of each other. Maybe you’d be more frightened if he wasn't so fucking hot.
His skin was slightly tanned, shoulders broad with toned forearms. He had a tiny, slutty waist- if you knew he wanted it too you’d probably fuck him right there in that kitchen. His face was even better, big doe eyes and a shaped jawline. His black hair slightly covered his face, but you could still make out all of his features.
All the fears you had completely vanished, a new disgusting arrangement of thoughts taking over your mind as you tried to speak to the man in front of you.
“I’m s-sorry” you quickly said, covering your eyes.
It had only been a couple seconds since your eyes met him in this awkward situation, but it felt like you’ve been staring at him much longer.
He didn't even bother to reply, closing the fridge with a protein drink in hand, he passed by you like you weren't even there. You watched him enter his room and close the door with a thud.
Was this seriously all of it? You had hoped he was just a little shy, waiting for an opportunity to greet you properly whenever you had the chance to pass by each other, but he obviously wasn't interested in getting to know you.
But how could you possibly not want to get to know him when he was so breathtakingly hot. How could you possibly stay sane knowing you're living with a David reincarnate.
You no longer planned on playing the ‘how long until he finally speaks to me’ game, preferring to see how long it’ll take for him to fuck you.
______________
After that day you hadn't seen Jake at all.
You heard him occasionally laugh with his friend who seemingly had the right to come over every day, or rage at a game but that was it. He once again opted to ignore you.
You wondered if he was thinking about you too. You couldn't possibly get him out of your head, spending a little more time in the common rooms, hoping he would finally walk out of his room.
Was he playing hard to get or was he just a fucking sick antisocial weirdo with no interest in real life women at all.
You had spoken to Minjeong, the girl convincing you to do something that’ll rile him up. She had finally persuaded you to invite someone over, specifically Jay, in hopes that it will piss off Jake enough to get him to speak.
“I know him from university, he’s an engineering major” Jay said, taking a hit from the freshly rolled blunt.
The smell of weed spread across the area, and you secretly hoped Jake could feel it seeping in through the cracks of his door.
“What’s he like?” you asked, inhaling the smoke as he held out the blunt for you in his fingers.
He smiled “Fucking weird. Like he doesn't talk or anything, he just hangs out around the same people all the time”
Jay pulled you closer, blowing the smoke into your mouth, and you obeyed, inhaling the rest. He gave you a sly smile, and finally put out what was left of the blunt.
You didn't know what was between you and Jay, but until you get Jake to notice your true intentions towards him or even speak to you, he was a good option
“That checks out” you chuckled, shaking your head “Look at this” you opened your drawer, pulling out the paper your roommate had left you.
You handed it to him, as he read through all the rules. He laughed and with wide eyes kept looking through it.
“Fuck, I need Sunghoon to see this” he laughed, taking a picture of it “Already broke two rules” he smirked and handed the list back to you.
“Not stopping there, trust me” you smiled and put it back in your desk drawer.
He smiled evilly, and pulled you back over to sit on his lap. You complied with a sly smile, and pressed your face against his chest, Jay softly caressing your back.
“You should move far away from this freak, seriously” he says, and you can’t help but hum in agreement.
If you chose to disagree, Jay would start asking too many unnecessary questions you truly had no answer to. You couldn't even tell yourself why after seeing him only once, you wanted the man to dick you down so bad.
“And live on the street? No thank you” you replied, your voice muffled by the material of Jay’s sweater.
He chuckled “You can move in with me”
“The streets sound much better than living with 4 sweaty frat boys in one room” you replied, and he huffed.
“We’re not frat boys, c’mon” you scoffed at his words.
“Stoners, frat boys, fuckboys, whatever, same thing” you count and he just rolls his eyes playfully.
Jay’s delicate touch and sweet voice almost stopped you from hearing Jake’s angry footsteps in the hallway.
The chance had finally come, and you were forced to ignore it.
The sound of his footsteps kept ringing in your ears as Jay told you something about having to leave soon to do a drop. You barely listened to him, wondering what Jake was thinking about, probably already noticing you were not alone.
The vibrating sound of Jay’s phone knocked you out of your trance, forcing you to rise from his embrace, passing him the device.
“Yeah yeah, I’ll be there in a minute. I’m around the area” he replied, and lazily standing up with a stumble to his feet, he stretched and turned to you “Sorry, pretty thing. Gotta go” he gave you a half smile, and you nodded your head, trying to refocus on what’s going on behind your closed door.
You walked him downstairs to the door, and with a chaste kiss to your forehead, he sprinted towards the subway station. You smiled, your eyes chasing his figure until he finally disappeared around the corner.
Opening the door to your apartment once again you hoped that Jake would still be rummaging around the hallways.
And you were right, he fell right into your trap. He was waiting there for you.
“What the fuck was that?” he asked, and his voice was deep. It was a little raspy, probably from the way he’s screaming his lungs out playing games all night.
His face was dark, and figure was lean. He looked a little creepy, his back blocking all the light, his body casting a shadow onto your figure.
You wanted to smile, but decided to keep it cool “No hello, or goodmorning?” you asked, tilting your head with a sly smile.
He looked like he was about to explode, and you liked it more than you thought you would.
“Oh you wanna be like that? I fucking told you, loud and clear, that there were no guests allowed around here. Didn’t get through your head the first time, did it?” he groaned.
“I’ve been here for 2 fucking weeks, and you haven’t even bothered to introduce yourself to me. You can seriously fuck off, and shove those rules up your ass while your at it” you replied, turning your back to him, heading towards your room.
He grabbed your wrist, pushing you to the wall “You listen to me, yeah? So don’t fucking try to invite anyone over again” he said, harshly letting go off you, and without letting you finish, walked back to his room with a slam to his door.
You were left there stunned in the hallway. Although you knew Jake wasn’t normal, you never expected him to be this fucked up.
And you also didn’t expect it to turn you on so much.
_______________
Once again, you haven’t seen Jake around.
He must have been extra cautious to ignore you especially after your previous incident.
You hadn’t even heard him play his usual loud and obnoxious music anymore or him raging at his games. No one has come over since then either. You couldn’t understand why Jay coming over bothered him so much to the point where he changed up his whole routine, choosing to take on a rather silent stance.
But he wasn’t here today.
For the first time in 3 weeks, you were there for his absence in the apartment, and you knew exactly what you wanted to do.
You wanted to finally see what his own space looked like.
Maybe in the slightest way it would help you figure out the type of person he is, maybe you’d find something that’d help you understand why he is the way he is.
You double checked, making sure that psycho wasn’t hiding somewhere, hoping he’d catch you in the act. But when you checked every possible spot, you quietly and slowly opened the door to his room, steadily taking in the space that was unveiled in front of you.
Cream walls, gray curtains, a cheap wooden bed frame, no posters, pictures or plants, you truly expected something more, but there was no personality to the boys room.
In some way that answered a handful of your questions about him; he just had nothing to himself. He was just a simple boy with a fucked up character and greasy keyboard.
His desk was messy, a mixture of textbooks, used up tissues and a half-empty lotion, crumpled up pieces of paper and cables. Yet through the mess you managed to notice a note, your name written in capitals on the top of it.
And well, a scrunched up, stained pair of your light pink, lacy panties. They were abandoned in the middle of all the tissues he disgustingly didn’t get rid of yet.
Just when you thought he couldn’t get weirder, he somehow did.
“There is no fucking way” you whispered to yourself, your mouth parted and eyes wide.
You looked back and forth between the paper and your underwear, eventually grabbing at the note, narrowing your eyes as you began to read the contents.
You skimmed through the bullet points; your full schedule written down on the paper with almost exact numbers as to when you leave and when you come back. These were the things you didn’t even know yourself.
“You think about me a lot don’t you, Jakey” you murmured with an evil grin, not forgetting to snap a picture of it and send it to Minjeong.
You decide to leave the now useless fabric where you found it, also deciding to leave it out of the conversation with your best friend. She had already freaked out over the schedule and if she found out your crazy roommate is also jerking off using your dirty laundry, she wouldn't waste a second moving all your things into her apartment personally.
She replied swiftly, an arrangement of emojis decorating your home screen and a “WHAT THE FUCK, CALL ME ASAP?”. You smiled and put all his things back in place, leaving the horrid space Jake created for himself.
“Hello? Y/n?” Minjeongs voice ringed in your ears as you called the girl.
You decided to spend some time in the living room, waiting for Jake’s return. Your eyes were constantly plastered on the door in the end of the hallway, ears listening in for a turn of the key.
“Yeah, I’m here” you laughed lightly, and that’s when Minjeong got her confirmation to start her full on blowout.
“Move out of there as soon as possible, girl. That man is dangerous, I swear to god” she half screamed, and you just chuckled “You’re laughing? This doesn’t scare you, like at all?” she asked, and you thought about a reasonable reply, cause ‘He’s hot’ was definitely not going to make the cut for your best friend.
“I can’t afford anything else Minjeong, you know that. He doesn’t bother me that much, it’s okay” you said in an attempt to calm the girl down.
“I told you, you can come stay with me” she said calmly, and you let a stray breath out.
“Min you know I love you, but I already told you I do not want to hear you banging Heeseung every other night” you smiled even though she couldn’t see you.
“Personally, I’d rather listen to pornhub recreations than live under the same roof with a potential stalker” she said, and you laughed. At least she knew about her problem.
“He’s not a stalker Min, he’s just weird. That’s all” you replied and she sighed.
“You can’t fix him, Y/n” she said, and you scoffed playfully.
“You can wait and see” you told her and she just hummed.
“Before that happens, you'll be six feet under” she said, and you couldn’t help but laugh at her overprotectiveness
The topic slowly faded when the seriousness turned into playful banter, the two of you discussing random topics and gossiping about every possible person that ever graced your campus.
You didn’t leave the living room, not once, because according to Jake's precious and impressive schedule, you should be out now. Normally that would be true if not for the cancellation of your pilates class. Self-cancellation.
As the keys turning and metal hitting the wooden door sound through the apartment, you hang up without further explanation, quietly running off to your room.
If you stayed in the living room, upon noticing you, he'd practically bolt to his room, locking the door, once again, avoiding you. You were smarter than that.
As soon as you heard him settle down, the sound of your old fridge being opened, and his quiet footsteps pacing around the kitchen, you pulled out your phone, the picture of his note staring back at you. You smile mischievously, phone in hand as you open the door, heading straight towards the kitchen,
He looks slightly taken-aback and you know damn well why. He wasn't expecting you. You shouldn't be here for another 30 minutes- the perfect amount of time for him to shower and make dinner. He had precisely calculated all of this just so he could avoid useless encounters with you.
“What is this?” your voice is taunting as he realizes what's displayed on your screen.
All the blood drained from his face as he realized you entered his room and looked through all his things, possibly even read all the perverted thoughts he had about you that were scattered across his desk in the form of crumpled pieces of paper. He remembers exactly what he took from your dirty laundry basket and how much he enjoyed having the fabric wrapped around his thick shaft.
“You went through my things ?” he asks, voice laced with anger as the reality of the situation comes down on him.
You bark out a laugh, amused by his attempts to shift the blame on you “Oh and my panties, you can keep those. Hope they milk your short dick good” you smirk, leaning against the wall with arms crossed, the look of confidence on your face.
Jake's expression darkens, a cruel grin twisting his lips as he moves closer to you, his face inches away from yours “You think you're so fucking clever, don't you? Going through my things, catching me in a little indiscretion and using it against me. Impressive” his voice is low as he laughs in your face.
One of his hands moves to grip your chin, the look on his face menacing as he forces you to maintain eye contact “You're nothing but an entitled brat. I'm not some fucking pushover and you should know that by now. Weren't those rules enough? You just had to go and invade my privacy to feed your little ego. You knew what you’d find, didn't you?” he stares down at you intensely, his grip on your chin tightening, his thumb slowly brushing over your lower lip, his smile growing as he notices your silence.
“Here's what will happen, okay? You’ll apologize for breaking my rules, send all your guests packing as soon as they show up on this doorstep, and we’ll never have this conversation again. You'll be a good little girl and listen to me from now on” he murmurs, his voice low as he trails his fingers along your jawline.
“You look so hot when you get mad like this, Jakey” he looks caught off guard for a moment, before the low and seductive laugh parts his lips.
“You think so?” he leans in closer, his breath hot on your skin, his voice down to a whisper as he continues “Then maybe we should put that dumb fucking mouth of yours to use and I'll show you just how hot I can get”
A smirk spreads across Jake's face as his hands move down to grope your behind, giving it a firm squeeze, chuckling at your reaction.
He moves to settle down at the edge of the couch, stripping off his shirt, presenting you with the view you’ve missed way more than you thought you did. His chiseled torso glistens under the lights, his belt buckle clinking as he undoes his pants, pushing them down. The fabric falls down to the floor almost instantly.
He watches you intently as you smile up at him, his fingers toying with the waistband of his boxers, his movements slow and tantalizing.
You’re enjoying this and he knows it too, watching from the way you slide down to your knees in front of him.
“I knew you'd like this. Is this what you wanted?” he teases, his gaze never leaving yours as he watches your desperate pleas.
When you nod, he laughs softly, finally pushing down his boxers, freeing his rigid erection “Show me how much you wanted it”
He grips the base of his shaft, giving it a few slow strokes as he watches you, waiting for you to take him into your mouth.
You grin at his heat and hardness, your fingers wrapping around his length. He pulses in your grasp, begging to fill your throat. You lean in, your gaze locked on his, running your tongue from base to tip, savoring the bitter taste of his precum.
You slowly take him into your mouth, your lips stretching as you push his length further down your throat. You bob your head, the determination to bring him pleasure coursing through your veins.
As your wet mouth accommodates his thick cock, a strangled groan escapes his lips “Yeah, fuck, don’t stop”
His fingers thread through your hair, pushing you further down his shaft. He guides you as the sensation of your tongue around his sensitive tip brings him over the edge, his knees weak as he shakes with pleasure.
“Keep going, suck me off good” he moans, his mouth parted as he continues to guide your head down his throbbing cock.
As you pick up speed, your movements harder and faster, he can feel his body begging for release, the orgasm building in his stomach.
He can barely keep his eyes open as he speaks, his voice strained “Fuck, I’m close" his heartbeat quickens "Gonna cum so hard down your throat you’ll never want to go against me again”
His hips buck, as he tries to savor the last moments before his awaited release. With a hoarse cry, he loses himself in the feeling, spilling himself deep into your throat.
His grip on your hair loosens, his eyes rolling back with pleasure “Swallow” he commands, his body shaking as he rides out his climax.
With a contented hum, you comply, lapping up the last drops of his seed, the salty flavour coating your mouth. The rest of his release, mixed with your spit, coats your glistening lips, as you remove yourself off him.
Jake watches you lick your lips before pulling you into a bruising kiss, tasting himself on your tongue. His tongue moves along your mouth, his hands sliding up your shirt, his fingers stroking the smooth skin of your stomach.
“Strip” he says, pulling away, watching you with an evil grin.
As he watches you slowly and teasingly remove your thin shirt and shorts, his hand begins to slowly stroke his cock back to hardness, smearing the ramints of his own release and your saliva along his thick shaft.
He sits down on plush comforters of the couch, tapping his lap for you. His body presses against you as you straddle his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“So pretty” he whispers, locking his eyes on you as he watches you subtly grind your hips on top of him.
He pulls your head back, exposing you bare throat, his lips leaving a trail of bites and bruises on his way down to your collarbone.
A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel his wet lips on you “I need more”
He smiles at your words “I’ll fuck you so good the only rule you’ll remember is how nice it is when you submit to me”
Jake swiftly moves you down onto the cushions, his body looming over you as his hungry eyes wander over your body. His lips meet yours again, his hardness grinding against your wet core.
He uses your wet slick as a lubricant, his cock sliding against your folds as he hisses at the sensation.
“I fucked myself to the thought of you every night” his voice is rough with barley restrained lust as he notches himself at your entrance “Wanted to bury myself in this little cunt for so long”
With a powerful thrust of his hips, Jake sheathes himself fully inside you, groaning as your tight heat elopes him. You breath out in ecstasy as he fills you completely, your inner walls clenching tightly around his thick length.
Your back arches off the couch, as you hold onto his forearm, your nails digging into his skin “Shit, Jake. So fucking good”
You start rolling your hips, meeting his every stroke, the sound of skin slapping against skin and loud gasps fill the once quiet apartment.
Encouraged by your wanton pleas, his thrusts become erratic, hitting deep and hard. He pounds into you with a wild force, pressing you down in place, taking the pleasure from your willing body.
“That’s right, take it all” he holds onto your hips, slamming you onto his length.
You can’t even bother to reply to his comments, writhing beneath him as he uses your body for his own gratification. Each of his brutal movements sends you further over the edge, his pace almost demonic as your nails dig into his back, leaving red scratches along the surface.
Jake feeling your trembling thighs and the way you clench around him, smiles evilly, slamming into you with precision, grinding his pelvis against your clit.
“Cum on my cock” he speaks, his voice dark “Milk me for all I’m worth”
With a piercing whine, you come undone under his dripping body, the orgasm crashing down on you. Your fingers dig into his shoulders as with heavy pants, you ride out your intense climax.
The feeling of your release and the sound of your name falling breathlessly from your lips, proves too much for him to handle “Gonna cum so fucking deep inside you”
With a low, guttural moan Jake presses himself deep inside you one last time, and finds his own release, pumping his hot, thick cum directly into you.
He finally collapses on top of you, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he comes down from his own, intense orgasm. Jake lies down next to you, your damp body sticking to his, as he threads his fingers through your hair.
“Don’t go through my shit again, Y/n” he whispers, biting down on your earlobe.
1:56 am | niki x female reader , best friends to ?, college au
── warnings: kissing, cursing, drinking, vomiting, skinship | wc: 1.31k
an | it's a canon event that i come onto this acc every few months js to write self projecting fics then dip, also new layout ig!
“Another shot!” it was the fifth time niki had heard you call those words out and he figured it was time to intervene before he would be lugging you home slung across his shoulders
Before you could even grab the drink niki quickly downed the whole thing stopping you in your tracks – quite evidently leaving you annoyed. In all honesty niki was doing you a favour, he just inhaled two shots worth of tequila for you and he was never known to be big on hard liquor. Though his efforts remained in vain, from the corner of his eye he noticed the all too familiar glint of red plastic in your hand a bit too late – there goes your liver.
“YN come on I think that’s enough drinks for tonight-” niki insisted whilst attempting to push you away from the living room coffee table that had turned into a pseudo beer pong station – sticky with alcohol and swarmed by intoxicated laughing.
“Stop you’re so lame,” despite his firm grasp on your wrist you managed to put up a pretty hefty fight before wriggling yourself loose “I had like what- 5 drinks?”
“Plus 6 more at pregraming” karina managed to chime in – and of course that’s when she decides to join in the convo – much to your annoyance her comment completely juxtaposed her pouring tequila down your throat 15 minutes prior.
Snapping a dirty glare you were about to defend yourself until niki’s voice boomed through your ears.
“11 drinks? Do you want to die of alcohol poisoning or something?” caring as always – god you hated that.
Of course you knew niki cared about you, it was just – certain times his kindness felt misplaced. Like when you would offhandedly mention liking that cherry glazed lip gloss you saw displayed at a price far too high to be considered, yet the product was already in niki’s hand and checked out before you could even get a say. Or when you would find 10000 won slipped under your wallet after club meetings where you had been incessantly complaining about your growling stomach, a small note attached to it with his toddler like handwriting – laughable but endearing. Or the times you would find yourself flooded in club meetings and activity preparations, somehow niki always managed to lighten the load. You appreciated it really – but you could never get rid of the annoyance that brewed in your gut.
“Does he do this for all his other friends? I mean we’re close but – there’s a line.”
He had to know the implications of his actions right? Or were you just imagining things you wanted.
Your friendship always seemed to balance on a tightrope of something you knew wasn't platonic – but if you never acted on it hey, what’s the harm done? Who were you to decline his offers? He’s just kind, he’s nice. He’s just niki.
This was just another instance of him caring far too much for your liking. It bothered you but you masked it with banter as always. “Dude I’m fine- like really it’s noth-” and suddenly the sickening sensation of warmth trickling up your throat plagued your senses. You made a B-line for the bathroom.
Quickly following behind niki kneeled down behind you, his hands immediately rushing to hold your hair back as you puked your guts out (again.) and even though vomit was pouring out your throat somehow niki’s fingertips brushing against your cheek overpowered the burning sensation of bile gushing out.
The warmth of his breath tickled the nape of your neck whilst his other hand reached over to trace circles on your back in attempts to soothe you. You were vomiting your guts out, the least romantic situation one could be in, and you could only focus on niki’s gaze burning into the back of your head.
Shooting your head up niki reached to wipe your mouth with discarded tissue paper, quietly mumbling under his breath “yeah that’s enough for today…” and for once you could only nod.
The trip back to his apartment was a blur. You could only really remember the frustration that lingered in his words as he muttered “you’re two years older, why am I the one having to take care of you…” suddenly you were transported back to when you were 6 sitting through your mothers scoldings.
His frustrated pout and furrowed eyebrows however didn’t bring out the same fear your mother did though, you could only giggle thinking about how funny this whole situation was. Looping your arm with his you feigned innocence, putting on your best pout and repeated apologies (you never meant them) until you reached his shabby studio apartment.
“Stop YN…” his tone unusually firm, you took notice to how he attempted to remove his arms from your grasp. Huh, why did that bother you?
“Wait – are you seriously mad?” you were shocked but in all honesty it wouldn’t be too surprising considering he had cleaned up your messes far too many times to count. Trailing behind him like a puppy you awaited a response whilst he picked through his clothes to find something suitable for you to wear. Your eyes drilled in on his expression, he seemed- uneasy.
“No YN it’s-” sighing out he handed you his worn grey shirt that was five sizes too big and a pair of grey sweatpants that you knew you would have to fold over just for them to barely hang on your hips “you’re just always like this when you’re drunk”
“Like what?”
“Just, insincere.” Now what the hell was that supposed to mean? “Just change we can talk in the morning”
You were in awe. Niki was being uncharacteristically moody and you really couldn’t pinpoint why. A part of you felt annoyed that he even had the audacity to talk about insincerity when none of his actions were ever genuine either. At least you never thought they were.
Slipping into his oversized clothing that hung over you like a drape you made your way to his bed and laid down beside him as he leaned against the headboard picking aggressively at the loose seams in his shirt.
“You’re just-” he finally started, still avoiding your gaze though “you get too clingy…” the position you guys were in really didn’t help your case too much either
“Is that such a bad thing?”
“It’s just, none of this feels right when it’s ingenuine” he said before adjusting himself to lay flat next to her.
“Do you want it to be or something?”
Silence.
“You know I could honestly say the same thing about you though,” even whilst bickering your hand seemed to find its way to the dip of his collarbones, tracing circles across its smooth exterior “don’t you know what your actions mean?”
“Yeah, I do”
You could only laugh in disbelief, yeah and he wants to talk about not being genuine.
“You don’t stop me though” his hands found themselves nested in your knotted hair, looping it back and forth between his fingers. He wasn’t wrong, you never did stop him, perhaps it was because you never felt like it was too much of a big deal – or maybe a small part of you hoped he would finally get enough of your oblivion and cross the line.
Engulfed in silence you could only gaze down at his fingers that were now entangled with yours, his hands previously playing with your locks of hair now adjusted to nest you close to his chest for you to hear his heartbeat. You figured your silence was enough of an answer – it always was.
Drifting off to sleep you felt the gentle pressure of his lips on the top of your forehead before muttering out that you were probably tired in lieu of a goodnight.
Somehow it always ended this way, and somehow you’d rather settle for that than an answer.
On the Same Page ♡ Masterlist
Pairing: Haechan x reader Description: Knowing a change of scenery was what your mental health needed, you transferred to where your brother, Mark, goes to college. The good news is, he’s not too cool for his younger sister, so he lets you join his friend group immediately. The bad news is, Haechan is in that friend group, and a brief encounter four years ago was enough for you to understand he does NOT like you. Even worse news, he’s a lot hotter than he was four years ago…
Genre: smau (some written parts), college au, crack, some angst, some fluff, "enemies" but more so strangers to lovers, brother's best friend, so many (2) ups and downs, general idiocy when it comes to feelings Content Warnings: swearing, death jokes, mentions of depression and anxiety, mentions of bullying, a few punches thrown here and there (reader is not involved)
A/n: Please know I do not take the above subjects lightly and do not intend for it to come across that way at any point in this smau. As someone who struggles with this stuff, I guess I was kind of writing what I needed to hear sometimes (so forgive me for some self-indulgence)...and as a comm major who did an entire research paper around the impact of friends/social support on one's depression, I felt okay addressing those topics here - I promise I’m not uninformed and just trying to add plot points. As always, take care of yourself first. I love you.
Status: completed! Started: October 27, 2024 Ended: December 14, 2024 Taglist closed
[Intro: SM University Besties] [Intro: NCIT Crew] [Chapter One: Female intuition]
[Chapter Two: A SISTER?!?!]
[Chapter Three: why he kinda...]
[Chapter Four: It must be a sibling thing]
[Chapter Five: Chat, am I jealous?]
[Chapter Six: Normal person? No can do.]
[Chapter Seven: a pretty good guess]
[Chapter Eight: mono boy]
[Chapter Nine: He's a sleazebag]
[Chapter Ten: What is a star party?]
[Chapter Eleven: on the way]
[Chapter Twelve: my sister's favorite movie]
[Chapter Thirteen: You’re pretty cool, too]
[Chapter Fourteen: It’s a little bit funny]
[Chapter Fifteen: I'll just ask Mark] (partly written)
[Chapter Sixteen: smol bear] (partly written)
[Chapter Seventeen: doing a great job]
[Chapter Eighteen: locking in]
[Chapter Nineteen: scheiße]
[Chapter Twenty: not as cute as Mark]
[Chapter Twenty-One: Mr. Snippy]
[Chapter Twenty-Two: Take a break]
[Chapter Twenty-Three: couldn't keep my promise]
[Chapter Twenty-Four: The men in y/n's life]
[Chapter Twenty-Five: Halloween]
[Chapter Twenty-Six: A little birdie]
[Chapter Twenty-Seven: I don't need your protection]
[Chapter Twenty-Eight: butterflies in her stomach]
[Chapter Twenty-Nine: EMERGENCY]
[Chapter Thirty: We're so back] (partly written)
[Chapter Thirty-One: lunch dates]
[Chapter Thirty-Two: pretty girl] (partly written)
[Epilogue: three months later...]
MR. LOVERBOY ✶ RIVALS 2 LOVERS ( 日语 ) ╰—— 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗌 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾.
𝑜𝑓 · PREC𝓲S : enhypen hyung line x 𝑓!reader 8OOwc. . ── non idol au, enemies to lovers, fluff, skinship, lot of bickering ( MY D𝒾ARY ) ⠀
다니 : new layouts > < since juni && jenni wanted me to post this first here i am ㅋㅋ not to mention, a lot of my crushes.. i had an enemies 2 lovers trope
RBLGS&LiKES ── CLiCK ´ ∀ `)
𝗟𝗘𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚 heeseung leans casually against the lockers, his smirk as infuriating as ever. "what’s got you so grumpy today, pretty girl? didn’t get your beauty sleep?" he teases, his voice dripping with mockery. you glare, arms crossed. "don’t call me that. and maybe i wouldn’t be grumpy if you stopped existing." he chuckles, the sound low and annoyingly attractive. "oh, come on, admit it, you’d miss me." "hmm," he muses, tilting his head, "would you be mad if i kissed you, pretty girl?" your heart stumbles, but you keep your glare sharp. "yes, obviously." his grin widens, dangerously playful. "hmm, then i hope you accept my apology." before you can process his words, his lips are on yours—entirely unexpected. when he pulls back, he winks. "still mad?" annoyingly, maybe not.
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚 "come on, just one ride! i don’t bite," jay smirks, fingers drumming on the steering wheel of his sleek black sports car as he watches you huff in the passenger seat. "you’re insufferable," you snap, crossing your arms. the scent of his cologne fills the space. "i hate you, jay." his laughter is low, a little too smooth as his eyes flick toward you, twinkling with mischief. "i heard hate as love, angel," he drawls, leaning slightly closer. you glare at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response, but the faint tug of a smile at the corner of your lips betrays you.
𝗦𝗜𝗠 𝗝𝗔𝗘𝗬𝗨𝗡 the room buzzes with compliments as your friends gush over your freshly dyed hair. "oh my god, you're so gorgeous!" someone squeals, and you offer a small smile. but then, out of the corner of your eye, you spot jake, casually leaning against the wall with that trademark smug grin. he saunters over, hands in his pockets. "new hair," he says, voice smooth as ever. "yeah," you reply, shooting him a slight glare, already bracing for whatever annoying comment he’s about to make. he tilts his head, studying you for a moment before smirking. "but i do believe i prefer blonde." you scoff, crossing your arms. "and i prefer you out of my life." he steps closer. "too bad, princess. looks like we're both out of luck."
𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡 the blackout plunges the entire building into darkness, and the murmurs of your friends echo faintly down the hallway. "y/n! where are you?" someone calls, but you stay frozen in place, breath hitching as sunghoon steps closer. "scared of the dark, sweetheart?" his voice is low. "you wish," you shoot back. before you can think, he leans in, his lips brushing yours in a secret kiss. your heart pounds, but the moment is gone as quickly as it came. footsteps grow louder, and you pull back, breathless. "y/n! seriously, where are you?" your friends call again. sunghoon straightens, his expression perfectly nonchalant as he steps into the dim light. "she's right here," he says casually, like he didn’t just steal your first kiss



