[stefanieshank]

UniCorgi

instagram @stefanieshank

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

One time I'd been revising until like 2am and was suddenly very hungry, so I decided I wanted fish fingers. Now I couldn't turn on the oven so my sleep deprived brain thought it would be an absolutely fantastic idea to put them in the toaster. Long story short, smoke started pouring out of the toaster and that's the story of how I almost burned down my house

#lifetips #fishfingers

[queerlyquinn-deactivated2025031]

My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.

Example:

Trump: “Your thighs are fat.” Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”

I think we’re onto something here.

[justedrecoverythings]

this is probably the best coping skill I’ve ever seen and I am ten billion percent going to use it too

[caye80]

[thehandsofkarma]

only on tumblr would over 535,000 people be fascinated by a table. This is why I love you guys.

[plantgalactic]

I’d guarantee that if you showed this to 535,000 non tumblr users they’d think it was fascinating why does having a silly blog make a difference 

[shieldmaiden-of-ineffable-intent]

My blog isn’t silly it contains only the finest celebrities and tables.

[fangirlfromtartarus-deactivated]

The tables have turned.

[laleeya]

the purest tweet

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

Conversation I heard between two people in class: Boy: isn't Christianity like the Jesus fandom? Girl: it would explain why they call Jesus he SON and God the father or *winks* daddy? Boy: so the nativity is cos-playing? Girl: and the Bible is fanfic! They're so fucking tumblr it's fantastic

[amateurhourcomics]

groundhog day

[drillheadonfire-deactivated2014]

whats the difference between bi people and unicorns

i can see unicorns on movies and tv

[thesweetpianowritingdownmylife]

I told this to my mum and she was like “That’s not t… yes it is.”

[that-nonbinary-guy]

Also, unicorns on tv are called unicorns, not ‘horses that don’t like labels’

[comradesleep]

horses that don’t like labels

[a-fucking-velociraptor]

[dear-monosexuals]

it got better.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

This unicorn is gonna fight someone

[you-got-fanfiction-deactivated2]

Shun the non-believer!

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

As a unicorn and a member of the lgbt+ community I can tell you that this shits hard

[mypsychology]

Here to help y'all gorgeous children

[takeasuiteskywalker]

This is v important

[equalityiom]

Take care of yourselves <3

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

In case and of you need it

[jetstreak]

[shercockandmycrotch-blog]

everyone needs a waving snail on their blog

i feel that if I scroll past this and don’t reblog it the snail is going to look to the ground and cry

[bridgemcgidge]

that comment

im sold

gotta do it now

[prepforrain]

…im scared that it’ll turn into the lich.

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

If you see this and don't reblog y'all are monsters

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

Do you ever just have a day where you wake up and be like: Today is a gay day I will be as gay as humanly possible For I am gay

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

So this one time I was looking after a hamster, I put him in his ball and turned around for like ONE SECOND and he'd vanished. When I found the ball there was no sign of the hamster but I shit you not THE LID WAS STILL TIGHTLY SCREWED ON WHAT THE FUCK EVEN ARE HAMSTERS

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

I once had this dream where I was in a regular supermarket and the only difference was that instead of escalators there were cool floating roller-coaster car thingies that carried you to the next floor and that shit was cool as hell

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

When you just wanna pee but your pet walks in and stares at you

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

[1000unexpectedwalruses-blog]

me as a beginning musician: wow, that actually didn't sound as bad! I'm super proud of myself!

me now: I've played this one phrase twenty times and something about the musicality still isn't right. I'm putting too much emphasis on the e flat and my marcatissimo sounds more like a staccato so I'm basically a failure