Down the Vtuber Rabbit Hole We Gooooo!!!
So my buddies and I have been following some vtuber groups (ex: Hololive, Nijisanji, Vox Monsters Project, etcetera) and my brain came up with this crack AU, so enjoy:
Eren: Surprisingly awkward and shy in his debut stream, but his excitement is evident in how he gets the hang of talking to his audience and quickly regains the confidence he initially had offscreen. Immediately gains a few admirers because of his (avatar’s) appearance, especially his pretty eyes, and how adorable he quickly proves himself to be. It’s something that tends to make him blush and flustered because he doesn’t think he's that attractive or cute. (“You guys are blowing it way out of proportion!”) Most of his streams afterward tend to start off with him eager for whatever he has planned. He also turns out to be very good at teaching German, and one of his streams has him taking his audience out on a virtual coffee date (or so people like to call it) while going over the basics. Just brace yourself for the puns.
“Eren’t you guys excited today~?”
Levi (Eren’s manager) in the chat: B(
At one point, Eren mentions learning Japanese so he can communicate with his senpais in Hizuru (and gossip with Mikasa offscreen). Brace yourself for the really bad Japanese puns.
He also provides great advice and tips for housecleaning, and one of his streams was nothing but him restoring, cleaning and polishing some really rusty cookware and cutlery. It sparked the running gag of chat calling him the perfect househusband until Eren points out why he isn’t: his cooking is edible, but whenever he tries something more complicated, it usually ends in something catching on fire.
Chat, watching Eren’s disastrous cooking/baking streams: YABAIIIIII!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Armin in the chat: Σ(⊙ ⊙|||) OH GOD NO!!!!!!
Armin: SUPER shy during his debut, like, oh lord somebody help this boy. He is so nervous he almost can’t even speak, write/type or read properly. It’s not until Eren and Hange (Armin’s manager) pop up in the chat to encourage and make him laugh (or die inside with puns) that Armin gradually slides into his little niche, and starts adorably rambling about his interests. While some of his streams are the usual gaming streams, some of them are also casually reviewing scientific subjects and specimens (plants, bugs, aquatic life, space, weather, and so on) and they end up being much more enjoyable than the usual school lectures in real life. It may or may not be because of his comedic commentary over them:
*looking at deep sea hatchetfish faces* “These probably look like somebody’s sleep paralysis demons. I mean, look at those soulless eyes…”
“I heard that some girl actually ate a tarantula with ramen noodles.”
Eren in the chat: Yo! Water you up to?
Armin: *quietly cringing at Eren’s water pun*
With how quiet Armin can be, his skills on the drums and at rhythm games are the last thing anybody expects out of him. Like…this boy is playing Friday Night Funkin’ on the hardest difficulty, and MILF is nothing to him. Nothing; and he has a NEAR-PERFECT COMBO on E V E R Y D A M N S O N G.
Hange in the chat: WHAT KIND OF BLACK MAGIC IS THIS
Mikasa: During her debut, she acts and sounds very close to what you would expect from her mostly stoic appearance: quiet, calm and gentle, but can be firm when needed and doesn’t take anybody’s shit. Greets her audience with a soft-spoken and soothing voice, perfect for people who like ASMR and is overall very relaxing. When she decides she feels like doing a little karaoke, the audience is left expecting a slow lullaby, an elegant love song, or maybe that Summertime song floating around on Tiktok…and then she slams their expectations out of the water through a fantastic cover of a J-pop/J-rock song.
Eren in the chat: *spamming glowstick icons* LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Armin in the chat: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Every now and then, she does a duet cover with someone; and in multilingual songs, she does the Japanese part while the other person does English or whatever language it’s in. 10/10 guaranteed to be a banger.
She also plays an acoustic guitar in one of her karaoke streams, and happily mentions Eren teaching her how to play.
Jean: Very confident and suave…only to fumble almost immediately after. Eren even calls him out on it in the chat and it sparks a hilarious argument that hears Jean getting called “Horseface,” and Jean outing himself for having a crush on Mikasa. Jean has to pull the loading screen back up (while claiming “technical difficulties”) so he can regain his composure; except he forgot to mute himself, so everybody gets to hear the comedy gold mine that is Eren’s high-pitched screeching and Jean’s voice cracking until the latter finally returns. However, the moment someone in the chat starts borderline bullying Jean over his “Horseface” nickname, Eren gets very upset about it. This does not go unnoticed.
Chat: TsundEren confirmed.
They occasionally end up having some quiet and/or “totally not gay” moments during collabs together.
Marco: Jean’s best buddy offscreen. Shy and awkward, but also very calming and soothing. Hums while the loading screen is up and he’s preparing offscreen, and gets flustered when he realizes that his audience heard everything (not that it’s a problem, they actually enjoyed it). His quiet laugh is so precious. Demonstrates his piano skills and immediately charms his audience. Everybody is in love with this boy. He is also commonly paired with Jean in collab streams, and both of them have admitted to leaning towards the other most of the time when it comes to planning collabs and deciding who will be their partner for the collab in question. Marco also, like Mikasa, has a knack for doing ASMR videos, and they easily put people to sleep (which is his intended goal in such videos, as he wants his viewers to be able to relax and rest easy).
“Let’s all try to get along, okay?” *heart and smile emojis*
Connie: Warning: turn. Your volume. Down. “YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! KONNICHIWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! GOOD MORNING/EVENING EVERYBODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!” In case it still needs to be said, this boy is very animated and occasionally out-of-control, and unintentionally establishes himself as not being very bright as well. People wonder if he even sleeps with how much energy he almost always has; but, he does indeed need rest like all human beings; and once in a very rare pink super moon, he starts a stream while still in his early morning/very late night haze. For the most part, however, if you need a living alarm clock, this is ya boi.
“Even a hyperactive knucklehead like me knows how to wind down… Well, knowing how I am, I kind of have to, otherwise I’d never get any sleep!”
One of the handful of people who enjoys puns and actively enables them. Sometimes he and Eren get into pun battles that leave Armin slowly dying inside.
Sasha: "I am here, and I am hungry!“ Her debut stream has her cooking a delicious homestyle recipe that gets devoured in mere minutes after it’s finished. In fact, a good majority of her streams that are not gaming streams are cooking/baking streams that leave her audience very hungry. One of her favorite childhood games is Cooking Mama, and sometimes she’ll try to recreate a recipe from some kind of game/movie/book/tv series, like Ninja Turtle’s pizza gyoza or Genshin Impact’s jade parcels.
"Can’t wait to see what you guys make in the kitchen!”
Reiner: Everybody is taken aback when they learn in the debut stream that this hunk of a man’s age range actually between late adolescent and very young adult like whaaaaaaaaaaat!? He looks like he’s at least in his mid-to-late twenties! His first gaming stream is, of course, Ring Fit Adventure. Annie, Bertolt, Connie and Mikasa are his most common partners during multiplayer.
Chat: YOU ALREADY HAVE BIGASS MUSCLES WHY ARE YOU WORKING OUT EVEN MORE!?!?!?!?!?
Also has some of the worst dad jokes up his sleeve.
Bertolt: Very shy and reserved in his debut stream, more so than even Armin and Marco. It takes a little nudging from his buddies for him to open up a little and ease into talking with his viewers. Nothing too eventful happens because he’s so shy, but it doesn’t really do any harm because the viewers can’t help but find him cute.
Chat: Did not think it was possible for a +6-foot boi to be so cute.
Does not make puns, and does not actively try to make puns; but he will laugh whenever someone makes them.
Annie: Also reserved in her debut, but definitely not shy. Casually mentions kicking Eren’s ass once, and it’s confirmed by Eren himself in the chat. Slowly but eventually opens up and finally offers a smile, and maybe even a small laugh when Eren says something silly to get her to laugh…until he makes a pun and she instantly removes him from the chat.
*avatar holding a toy gun at the chat* “Puns are the absolute lowest and most pitiful form of humor. There will be no puns on this channel. Understand?”
Armin in the chat: …Does this mean I’m safe here?
Of course, there is the occasional handful of puns, but they usually scroll by fast enough to go unnoticed until after a stream.
Krista/Historia: Starts her debut stream with the friendliest “Hellooooo~!” Demonstrates her talent in drawing, and it looks wonky; but that’s because she’s drawing with her non-dominant hand. When she switches proper, the copied and polished drawing is gorgeous. Her talent is only matched by Armin, who frequently sketches whatever he finds when he goes outside (like a kitten or a beetle). Some of her drawing streams are of her friends (like Eren or her manager Ymir). Sometimes, her collabs with Armin involve making a masterpiece together, while giving their viewers tips and advice on how to improve their own art, and it works. Connie reportedly went from drawing “blocky humans to chonky humans.”
“It’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. Everything takes practice, no matter how small. What matters the most is that you enjoy it.” *heart and smile emoji*
Ymir: Not one of the vtubers. She was introduced by Historia, who created her avatar in case Ymir ever felt like jumping in during her streams. While Historia’s channel is officially her own, it’s pretty much acknowledged that the two ladies are practically co-owners. Her snark and wit are the stuff of legends.