BARNES @11011925 - Tumblr Blog

𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝚈. 𝚃𝙸𝙼𝙴𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙴. 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴. [ 𝚃𝙱𝙰 ]

bucky can now be found @ @soldatz

all i want for bucky is for someone to come to his farm house and sit in his garden with a log fire burning while they chat absolute shit.

#thank you

deathwalksamongarchive

god of war (2018) starters

❝ long way from home, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ why do you even care? you could have just walked away. ❞ ❝ i almost feel bad for you. ❞ ❝ i can tell you a thing or two about family matters. ❞ ❝ lucky for you, my schedule’s wide open. ❞ ❝ they’re gonna be sorry they picked this fight. ❞ ❝ i heard you. it’s not up for discussion. ❞ ❝ i will rain down agony, every possible violation, upon you. ❞ ❝ um, alright…that hurt a little. ❞ ❝ you think you understand, but you don’t. ❞ ❝ didn’t you hear that? voices. it felt…evil. ❞ ❝ you do not want this fight. ❞ ❝ truth is more important than kindness. ❞ ❝ i know every corner of these lands, every language spoken, every war waged, every deal struck. ❞ ❝ it should have been you. you hear me? you. not her. ❞ ❝ only use this as a last resort. ❞ ❝ deny it all you want, but you saved me. ❞ ❝ you don’t want me and you never will. ❞ ❝ they do not stop us, so they do not concern us. ❞ ❝ only time you talk to me is when you need something. ❞ ❝ that doesn’t mean you should lie to your friends or family. ❞ ❝ will i see you again? ❞ ❝ don’t leave me alone ever again. ❞ ❝ you see in the eyes of a child. ❞ ❝ i know you hate gods but you really can’t stay away from them, can you? ❞ ❝ you are in your head. let it go. ❞ ❝ it is wise to be discreet. ❞ ❝ you are right…i do not believe you. ❞ ❝ the power of any weapon comes from your heart…but only when tempered by your head. ❞ ❝ wow, you’re so stupid. that your father’s doing? or your mother’s? ❞ ❝ will we see people on the road? friendly? will they try to rob us? ❞ ❝ smells like rotting eggs. is it still good? ❞ ❝ you’ve only killed those deserving, right? ❞ ❝ you’re sounding more like your father by the minute. ❞ ❝ that thing was trying to kill us. it’s not like you don’t get angry in a fight. ❞ ❝ leave. my. home. ❞ ❝ you killed against my wishes. ❞ ❝ it’s all you talk about, over and over. do something about it or shut up. ❞ ❝ behind you, watch out! ❞ ❝ don’t know, don’t care. ❞ ❝ this used to be a challenge. ❞ ❝ this place feels like a prison. ❞ ❝ it feels like something is waiting for us down here. ❞ ❝ don’t be sorry. be better. ❞ ❝ kill for survival, not for indulgence. ❞ ❝ can’t believe you’ve lasted this long. ❞ ❝ in war, a soldier sees beauty in the blood of his enemy. ❞ ❝ the winds of fate have given us a strange coincidence. ❞ ❝ close your heart to their desperation. close your heart to their suffering. ❞ ❝ you’ve had to kill people before, haven’t you? you’re used to it. ❞ ❝ why do you say nothing? ❞ ❝ you’ve seen it with your own eyes. you can’t hurt me. nothing can. ❞ ❝ anger can be a weapon if you control it. ❞ ❝ whatever it is you seek, i do not have it. you should move on. ❞ ❝ when they find you - and they will - they’ll make things difficult. ❞ ❝ there is one unavoidable truth you will never escape: you cannot change. ❞ ❝ only time you talk to me is when you need something. ❞ ❝ we do what me must to survive. ❞ ❝ follow down this path and head for daylight. ❞ ❝ heh. thought you’d be bigger. ❞ ❝ you have a knack for ominous statemants. ❞ ❝ just tell me what i want to know! no need for this to get bloody. ❞ ❝ we all gotta take responsibility sometime, huh? ❞ ❝ that was a waste of a perfectly good apple. ❞ ❝ you think i’m weak, because i’m not like you. ❞ ❝ but…you told me never to go down there. ❞ ❝ you know, i really hoped i’d never see this place again. ❞ ❝ until our journey is over, one of us must remain focused. ❞ ❝ you must be better than me. understand? ❞ ❝ did something change? the forest feels different now. ❞ ❝ with power comes a big choice. you serve yourself or you serve others. ❞ ❝ do not mistake my silence for lack of grief. ❞ ❝ we are not men. we are more than that. ❞ ❝ i know i was never what you wanted. ❞ ❝ mourn how you wish. leave me to my own. ❞ ❝ hurry! i’m slipping. ❞ ❝ do not allow yourself to feel for them. they do not feel for you. ❞ ❝ do not concern yourself with what might be. focus on what is. ❞ ❝ we do as we please. no excuses. ❞ ❝ your father can kill. are you going to be able to do that? ❞ ❝ accuracy over speed. ❞ ❝ you left me here. again. why don’t you care? ❞ ❝ what, you want a hug? ❞ ❝ finish what you started. ❞ ❝ you know, for someone so strong, you worry a lot. ❞ ❝ you are hunting deer - not chasing it. ❞ ❝ i don’t know you and you don’t know me… don’t seem to want to. ❞ ❝ killing animals i get. they’re food. but people… they’re just trying to survive too. ❞ ❝ do you hear that? it sounds like someone screaming. ❞ ❝ i’m going to cut off your head now. ❞ ❝ it’s…it’s still alive. ❞ ❝ we are here because of you. never forget that. ❞ ❝ do not speak again. ❞ ❝ your anger…you can get lost in it. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to be the smartest man in the world to see that. ❞ ❝ we’ve come so far. there has to be a way. ❞ ❝ don’t you see? they never gave up hope. and neither should we. ❞ ❝ you can change your path. it’s not too late. ❞ ❝ i’ve been to many strange places… but this is a new one. ❞ ❝ oh, cut it out, princess. you’re gonna get me all weepy. ❞ ❝ you are too quick to temper. you a rash, insubordinate and out of control. ❞ ❝ the path ahead is difficult and you are not ready. ❞ ❝ you are not ready - stay back. ❞ ❝ think i’m afraid of you?! you’re nothing to me. ❞ ❝ stay by me. touch nothing. ❞ ❝ you were gone for so long i thought that you… ❞ ❝ you will always be a monster. ❞ ❝ look at me! look at me! ❞ ❝ you are going to have to kill me for that to happen. ❞ ❝ can you kill something that big? ❞ ❝ on our journey we will be attacked by all manner of creature. ❞ ❝ so we’re gonna go toward the creepy singing? ❞ ❝ why are there two beds in there? ❞ ❝ slow down. your haste will cost us. ❞ ❝ i warned you. you would not listen. ❞ ❝ no, wait…i’m not giving up. i just…have to catch my breath. ❞ ❝ well, this is it. it’s been an honor. ❞ ❝ you left me alone to fight. ❞ ❝ are you the last of your family too? ❞ ❝ my mother made it for me. ❞ ❝ fight until we stop or we are dead. ❞ ❝ the last in his realm of all this kind and you shoot him. ❞ ❝ come. no looking back now. ❞ ❝ you’re more concerned with their safety than our goal. ❞ ❝ i don’t think we’re supposed to be in here. ❞ ❝ i’m…sorry for your loss. ❞ ❝ i hoped that’d you, out of all the people i’ve faced, would make me feel something. ❞ ❝ slow and old. you should never have come here. ❞ ❝ that bow’s a little big for you, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ earlier you said people might kill us. i’ll kill them if they try. ❞ ❝ pain we endure. faulty weaponry we do not. ❞ ❝ let me guess…you’re gonna be smug and say we shouldn’t have got involved. ❞ ❝ no. you’ve been gone a long, long time! ❞ ❝ if you try, i’ll try. ❞ ❝ wow, uh…that was something, that fight. ❞ ❝ you did not think it was important to tell me? ❞ ❝ death suits you better. ❞ ❝ is it dishonorable to grow old? ❞ ❝ so unclean. so, so unclean. ❞ ❝ you won’t stop me. ❞ ❝ and i thought my family was fucked up. ❞ ❝ i’m strong. i’m smart. i’m not what you think i am. ❞ ❝ when i require your counsel, i will ask. ❞ ❝ don’t you know when to give up? ❞ ❝ listen to me. i can help. ❞ ❝ you’ve taught me so much. let me teach you something. ❞ ❝ okay. there are a few gaps in my knowledge. ❞ ❝ the path you walk. vengeance. you will find no peace. ❞ ❝ you know i love you. you just can be better. i know you can be. ❞ ❝ let them go. take me instead. ❞ ❝ i’ve never felt more alive. ❞ ❝ no…you’re bleeding. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea, any idea at all, what you have cost me? ❞ ❝ i used to dream about getting eaten. ❞ ❝ relax. do not think of it as an animal. it is simply a target. ❞ ❝ try to find forgiveness, and we can start something new. ❞ ❝ there is much about me i won’t have you know. ❞ ❝ have you ever heard the term “tempting fate?” ❞ ❝ your memory was a comfort in dark times. ❞ ❝ she meant more to me than you anyway. ❞ ❝ you are not yourself. ❞ ❝ if seeing me dead will make things right, i won’t stop you. ❞ ❝ i’d bow if i could, your majesty. ❞ ❝ then we will go home. to give up this easily, so close to the start… ❞ ❝ only fire when i tell you to fire. ❞ ❝ not my blood. ❞ ❝ nobody’s killed a dragon for hundreds of years. ❞ ❝ are they dead…? oh! not dead! not dead! ❞ ❝ a dangerous beast. we’ll take him down together. ❞

nalle

Where’s the rest of the guys?

#the james barnes we deserve

#icons for my boy

11011925

are you ready for the most brief insight on my timeline for james? i do have all of this written up in more detail on a google doc but i’m currently reworking it. [ please note i have no mcu in my portrayal. ]

james was born on the 11th of january 1925 [ aka my url ] and he grew up on fort lehigh [ you would have seen lehigh in endgame. ] he had a barracks lifestyle, one where he was influenced heavily by the soldiers that saturated his daily life. his mother died in 1935 and his father died in 1937, after his mother died he became a very troubled 10 year old, fighting in school, disobeying his father but most importantly he spent a lot of time looking after his little sister rebecca as his father became more and more distant. after his father died the two siblings were separated, becca was taken into foster care but james begged to stay on the barracks.

james was allowed to stay on the barracks, for 6 years he worked on the barracks, attended school, so on and so forth. also as a bit of extra income he used to sell pin up magazines and smokes to the soldiers. on the eve of his 16th birthday james was approached and chosen to train with the british commandos.

after completing the training he was handpicked to become bucky, aka captain americas sidekick [ let point out that james was 16 when he first met steve, who was already captain america. in my portrayal james doesn’t know pre serum steve. ] james fought alongside steve and the howling commandos, not to mention becoming part of the invaders.

in april 1945, aged 20 james met his death by a booby trapped missile intended for captain america. he fell into freezing waters and his body was preserved. for close to two months his body remained undiscovered until karpov found him. they realised he was bucky the sidekick and decided to use him for their own devices [ they also believed he had the serum in his body so wanted to extract it. ] obviously he didn’t so they threw him into cryostasis, which they constantly pulled him in and out of [ please remember that the brain remains active while the body freezes so he would have felt every inch of pain. ]

eventually they decided to let james become the victim of their project, aka the winter soldier. james already suffered with complete memory loss so he was a blank canvas, only physical reflexes remained intact such as his fighting skill. false memories were implanted into james and he believed himself to be a soldier born and bred for the ‘good’ of the kgb.

james remained as the winter soldier from the june 1954 until august 1988. there is absolutely no denying that humanity during this time period was punished, he was a weapon of very very dark intentions. his kill count is incredibly high and he would of stopped at nothing to complete a mission. the only light in that dark was natasha romanova, who he had relations with during her time training. their relationship of which they was both constantly punished for.

james didn’t escape the kgb, he was thrown back into the freezer after becoming to in touch with empathy and guilt. he remained in there for 7 years until he was discovered and thawed.

his path currently has been him working on himself, rediscovering and adapting to modern life. he has not and will never work for shield. also he does not feel any guilt for his actions as the winter soldier anymore. james is not on a path of redemption, he has separated the two entities even if his brain / memory hasn’t.

now he resides in a cabin close to nature with his service dog, sarge as he suffers with severe ptsd. james isn’t retired, he does a few missions with the avengers, a few freelance jobs but mostly his debt is to himself and investing into the time he has.

DEAREST MOTHER. how odd to script such words, haunting and illuminating at once. watch as flesh blemishes with trails of goose pimples, bile that stings throat as emotional burden is swallowed and well worn bravery takes place upon features that mask worn so well, only a child when mother did part, such brutality for one to feel. responsibility laid upon lap, clueless in youth in how to cope, to shut off and focus on thriving with the talk of war looming. there is an element of stupidity he feels, to dwell in such a comfort of writing to one beyond the grave, a letter in which she shall never read nor respond and yet no other he wishes to tell. still to pour heart upon paper, grief to splurge amongst ink, not the intentions of this soldier. words would twist a tale, fictitious in places and exaggerated naivety, innocence would rot inevitably but mother would see only the light within the darkness.

dearest mother,

i went to recruitment last month and signed up, last week i got the confirmation and it’s official mum, i’m enlisted. the training is exactly what i expected, long hours on and off the field, which i don’t mind but i never really was one to sit in a classroom and pay attention. there’s just something about staring at a blackboard that really doesn’t appeal to me. you know i prefer being outside, having freedom and not being tied down with homework or academic studies. being stuck in a room with one person talking is like being brainwashed, it’s mind numbing.

not to mention it’s a little bit daunting learning how big the world really is beyond brooklyn. we spend at least four hours looking at these maps of europe, all questioning inside exactly what it is we’ll be doing over there and we don’t get much clarity, we have reports coming in every day and things change. we jump tomorrow, we don’t because of weather. scrap that we’re being deployed on boats, it’s unpredictable right now but having a daily routine is getting me through it. and really i don’t mind, i’ve always wanted this, not war, but to be part of something bigger. to make a change in the world, however big or small that might be and just to make it a safer place for rebecca to grow up. and she’s doing really well mum, maybe that’s what i should have opened this letter on, to stop you worrying but she’s fine.

we write occasionally, i haven’t told her yet that i’m going away for a while because she’s like you mum, she worries too much and i just don’t want to burden her with that. i will tell her before i go but saying goodbye to her will only make leaving harder. plus it’s not really goodbye because i will be back. maybe i’ll be like dad and come back a changed man, perhaps a little less childish and more mature. then dad might be proud of me, i think he is now but he always did have a face made of rock, his war face.

anyway mum i know this was shorter than the ones previous but i didn’t have much time. i’ve got a pt lesson in twenty minutes and i’ve made a bet with gabe that i can out run steve so i need to warm up. you would have loved to have met them mum and they would have loved your homemade apple pie.

i love you mum and there isn’t a day that passes where i don’t think about you. i just hope that one day you’ll be proud of the man i become.

james.

AND THERE IT WOULD ROT. ink upon paper to become the memorial of a man lost in the devastation of war. reputation that unfolded within the decades as belongings passed between the un-wanting, no desire to have connection to a monster created. yet finally possessions were dumped within the hands of a museum curator, filed away and letters left unopened for none to ever see. UNTIL TODAY.

CLOSED STARTER @redapt

#redapt #ARC — PRIVATE. [ REFLECTION / REDAPT. ]#bye.

roesscissors

#for anyone who is new #this is my faceclaim #james barnes everyone #smoking tw

i’ve just seen something that’s made me incredibly angry. i don’t think many people need reminding, we’ve come a long way but some people do.

roleplay is a hobby, none of us owe anybody anything. your blog is your safe space where you post the content that you want to ( within reason, you know what i’m talking about. ) if you want to block / soft block someone because of the character they write, then do so. if you as a mun want to post little / minimum ic content but reblog tons of aesthetics posts, then do so. if you are uncomfortable with duplicates, that’s okay. if you want to be canon reliant on one form of origin, that’s also okay. if someone else is making you uncomfortable and you block them, justifiable. if you take ten mins or 10 weeks to reply to someone, do it. if you want tiny icons or huge icons, you do you.

you do not guilt anyone if they do any of the above and more. roleplay is a form of creativity and art, there are no two the same. there is also no rule book on how someone is to run their blog. there is a block / unfollow button for a reason, we are not forced to follow anyone.

your blog is your safe space, it is not defined by others. roleplay is a hobby, your mental & physical health comes first. you never sacrifice that.

HEAD CANON SERIES STUDY OF JAMES BARNES. [PART TWO OF THREE.] ACCELERATED DEVELOPMENT PROCESS. FILED UNDER : PHYSICALITY + COMBAT.

first of all, james has an incredible understanding of his own physicality and strength, which is one of the reasons he was able to develop under his own training prior to official guidance. while his young fighting style was considered rouge, he was more of a rough and tumble, squabbling in the playground, cheap and dirty jabs and punches kind of fighter, completely untrained. his fighting skills were developed in his early teens after observations of training sessions on the barracks in which he grew up and then adapted for his own build and strength by himself.

when training with the commandos they taught him controlled composure, ways to attack and defend to enhance his natural skill. bucky is a naturally fast learner. it’s an element that is shown from the very first steps in his training with the british commandos in 1941. he studied over the moves and ways of captain america, his tactics and strategy. alongside the history of generations of military personnel and combat interpretations. general phillips, the person who hand picked steve rogers himself for the super soldier serum once said, bucky was the best natural fighter in history he’d seen. this was prior to his specialised training.

later on as the winter soldier he went on to learn depth in his fighting, this was a kgb training programme that should have taken months to complete, to this day most placed within this course are yet to pass, have failed or been dropped from it. much to his mentors disbelief, james was passed after a single week. this primary training was without the attachment of his cybernetic limb, at a later date the arm was attached and a second run of this programme taken.

#tag tba

HEAD CANON SERIES STUDY OF JAMES BARNES. [PART ONE OF THREE.] ACCELERATED DEVELOPMENT PROCESS. FILED UNDER : MIND + MEMORY.

due to the lack of understanding and study into the brain capabilities and capacities within the early era of james timeline the following was never diagnosed by doctor until much later into his life.

there was always a lot of speculation and chatter between those who mentored him from an early age, his incredible ability to be able to observe something once and recall it in great and precise detail. this was not only with more academic subjects such as maths and english but also the routines of combat techniques and cartography. this was firstly noted in great interest by a psychologist of the barracks when on his initial training with the british marines. she had witness many young soldiers embark on a career within this military sector but none that learnt at a pace like james. his natural ability to observe, process and repeat without rehearsal was unparalleled. his memory seemed to work at a level not all could reach and after conversing with his instructors prior came to the conclusion this had always been the case. unfortunately before she could present evidence to those in high rank james returned to the united states where he would enrol in his newly earned position, sidekick to the one and only captain america.

the years had passed and no further study had been taken into his ability, over looked with the world at war. it wasn’t until his death and resurrection that a diagnosis was given.

many months were spent looking into the brain scans of james after the kgb fished him from the icy waters, he subject to multiple tests before and after his thawing. one scientist noticed after investigations the same as the physiologist from the barracks. as time passed and james was pushed further through training and his capacity to retain knowledge flawless.

he learnt over seven languages at once, all of which he now speaks fluently. while also excelling in armed force disciplines such as intellect gathering, escape arts, assassination, demolition, survival tactics, hunting, swimming, mountaineering, interrogation, map making and reading, communication systems, explosion and secret code languages.

while his memories prior to his head injury and falling into the enemies hands were compromised and currently non-existent, his attention to detail in current mind was something to be envied. this is why the lead scientist diagnosed him with an eidetic memory. this is why his ability to retain and learn new information is so strong, why he is able to recall with such ease the data required of him.

in his current arc : pact, james is still an incredibly smart individual but it is something that can be missed on first impression, depending on the circumstance and almost always undermined by his enemies. there’s a front that james wears, a mask he has always worn and a barrier very few have ever passed beyond. these factors, his eidetic memory and ptsd is why his mind so torn. barnes struggles with his own partial memories prior to his memory loss, implanted false memories from the kgb and those horrific memories of his time as the winter soldier, all are so very vivid. while the majority of the time he has coached himself to control impulsive and intrusive thoughts, at times when his mental stability deteriorates and he suffers a ptsd episode all those above entwine together and cause severe damage.