genre : hurt comfort ; negative self talk so take care reading.
characters : diluc, thoma
diluc ragnvindr
dimming red sunrays signify the end of the day for diluc. stacking his paperwork and wrapping them in parchment, he notes your absence- wondering where you might be. the papers land with a 'thump' on the table. he looks for you.
"[name]?" sombre is his voice laced with gentle concern. you're not in the living room; nor in the kitchen. you are- as he enters a dark bedroom- in his dark bedroom. and comfortable as the bed may be, you look the least in comfort, hugging your knees and gazing at the darkness. diluc sits next to you.
"there's something wrong with me," you start; sounding like you wish you'd never started. "i'm sorry."
he turns to face you with thoughts prancing on his tongue. a sigh, then- "i forgive you." your hum of confusion tugs a sad smile from him. "how many things are wrong with you, [name]?"
you open your mouth to answer, but your mind previously spilling with answers blanks out. "i-" slowly, "everything is wrong with me. my looks, how i act; even now, being like this." a tremble. "everything."
"then i will forgive you for everything. especially for being like this." diluc's hand is warm against your shoulder blade. he pulls you in- your knees nuzzling against his stomach and your cheeks against his chest. he smells clean, you notice, soft- safe.
his heartbeat reverberates against your ear; and when he speaks, it is muffled yet close. "will you accept my forgiveness, my love?" and you let go. of your shaky breath, of your tears, of everything holding you back from crumbling.
thoma
spending a day with thoma is always, always fun. always, because even with the heavy pain in your chest; even with the tears that threaten to emerge, he always manages to make you smile. laugh. you enjoy his company, so of course you'd want him to enjoy yours.
but when evening comes, and the atmosphere quiets down, a question you've been pushing back reappears. is this the right time to talk? you contemplate the answer. thinking beside thoma who's been studying you for a moment longer than you'd notice.
"you look like you have something to say." you do. "i'm all ears, babe."
the tears won't stop themselves from falling now. you're calm, forcing a smile that you wonder looks gross with your swelling eyes. "i.. i haven't been feeling well. everything hurts, and i'm tired of keeping it in." and you don't, releasing the smile you clutched onto for who knows how long.
thoma sighs. he smiles. "finally," he whispers, leaning over to hold your trembling hands, "i was waiting for you to say something." his thumb roams over your knucles. one. two. three. four.
"i was afraid you'd try to bear the pain by yourself, y'know."
you sob. your arms being led around his neck. "c'mere." with his arms encasing your waist and a boyish heave, he carries you- tears and all. each step and each sob arrythmic. "it'll be more comfortable to let it out on the bed, so i'll bring you there okay?" his voice tender.
NP OFC and i've been well too 🥺 and you too, it's so nice to see you !! <3 oh n i am vv glad to be ur ffxiv mutual ... makes me super happy bcs i love ffxiv sm hehe >< ANYWAY idk what else to say but take care okay. have a good week!! 💗
YEAHHH!!! crazy new theme there btw MFNDSKF the color theme is lovely :'> AND YOU TAKE CARE TOO!! may your week treat you with goodies :D
note : not proofread drafts! this is a depiction of an unhealthy relationship. read with caution
"yknow, diluc, just sayin," you call out from the couch, perking the ears of your busy partner, "you can always take a break and chill out from all the work you're doing."
sounds of paperwork ruffle heavy with the weight of its value to diluc. he pauses, thinks, and continues. "i don't quite get what you mean." you groan and shift your stature to face him. "i mean, come and spend time with your dear partner, please?" with every word comes a breathier tone, and you hope it pulls him towards you.
it doesn't. "apologies, my honey, this is due tonight. it's crucial for the winery to keep running," his eyes take no chance leaving the mess of text and ink. "what about tonight, then?" your dejection spills all over your voice. silence. he takes a breath; "i'm heading out. justice will never be served for as long as those thieves do not face punishment."
"you've said that for the fourth time this week."
diluc sighs. "the lives of the citizens are important, love, you know that. their safety is important. justice is important." only now does he look at you; not because you need him, but because he needs you. he needs you to understand.
"more important than me, luc?"
thin are his lips as he presses them together- stopping himself from answering you. "there's- look, there are hundreds of citizens, and only one of you; i don't- don't you understand? we need to think of the people, i-" he stands and staggers towards you. "you know what i stand for, dear, you know what i need. don't you?"
now it's you who stands, toes curled into the floor as tension grips you.
"what about what i need? it's always been about you, where do i come in your life? who am i to you, diluc? just another citizen? hell, you'd treat a random citizen way better than you'd treat your own fucking partner, won't you?"
he pinches the bridge of his nose. "[name], listen-"
"i've been listening to you for so long, and all you talk about is justice and citizens and thieves, like you're a knight of fucking favonius. don't you know how lonely it's been- day and night all alone because someone's life revolves all around work and so-called 'justice'? it hurts, diluc."
fire swells up within him, and he shouts; "you signed up for this! you signed up to be my partner, even though i told you how important this work is to me!" his voice is thick, molten lava burning his held-back tears.
"if you can't stand the way i live, then just leave." a crack in his voice substitutes his hesitation. all tension that held your bones rigid shoot straight for your heart. of course. of course he'd pick his work over you. of course he'd pick the people over you.
"fine," you whisper, except it comes out as a croak instead. he staggers, like he's shocked.
"only if it means you'll treat me better than you do now." he stammers, like he wants to stop you.
"[name], wait- i didn't mean that," you shift back when his hand reaches for your shoulder. "you never meant anything you said to me, diluc. i get it now." you shift back further without prompt.
every word you say; every step you take puts out and reignites the rage in his heart. in his throat. "i don't- you're just being irrational now." "and you're not?! you just fucking told me to leave because i asked you to take a break. get a grip, diluc."
you tug your ring off your finger. the ring he bought you- and so expensively etched his vow into. 'i will always protect you', it says. he said it better, you remember.
"this is for you, [name]." in your palm unromantically slipped a ring which you didn't see, because your eyes were on your partner whose sheepish face turned as red as his hair.
"it is.. to always remind you of me," he mumbles, eyes not meeting yours. "if you ever feel alone, i will always be there for you. wherever you are, i will always protect you. i.."-
the memory trails off with the tear that trails down your cheek.
DUDE WHEN I SAY I STOPPED BREATHING WHEN I SAW YOU FOLLOWED ME? 🤡🤡 lmao thank you??? i hope the "thats you??" was a good thing pls 😭 also hello welcome back!!!! i've missed you too!!
i've been lurking, tbh... life is. a lot right now lol i barely get evenings to myself but i gotta admit that's on me. but yeah!! what happened to you?? how have you been??? —👁️🗨️
HELLO?? i stopped breathing when i saw this ask MFHDSM YEAH IT'S GOOD!! i see you around and go "this person's blog has awesome vibes" :'DD
AND AW MAN.. you must be busy sobs one at a time!! you got this!!
i've been here and there and everywhere MHDSM doing my internships rn and some stuff on the side! so i had to leave social media for a while :')
HI REIDA!!! its so good to hear from you again!! i'm dealing with some stuff rn that's taking up all my time so i'll reply to your reply soon lmao but uh. i'm sorta over being an actual anonymous anon? so my url is linked in this ask! —👁️🗨️
i know i said i won't answer old asks but i wanna acknowledge you for revealing yourself MFDJSF HI i hope you're still active HAHAH and most importantly that you're doing good and taking breaks from life :'))
REIDAAA ☆ HI HI HI 💗 (it’s yona :0) omg IVE MISSED YOU!! HOW ARE YOUUU <3 hope you’re doing well these days huhu 💕
also im LIVING for your theme!! it’s so so cool and amazing and AAAH
Σ（・□・ ）! very much looking forward to your fics/works, i am going to be stalking your blog from now on just so I can proudly give you a very detailed explanation on why your writing is chef’s kiss every time you post hehe! /hj
i hope your exams didn’t cause you too much trouble, although that may just be the case unfortunately 😔 i have final exams in a few weeks, so I’ll be able to share any possible pain HAHA ✨
overall I hope life’s been treating you kindly these days! hope you’re taking care of yourself MWAH 😾💖
AA OMG YONA?!?! IT'S BEEN SO LONG MDHFMS I MISSED YOU TOO!! uwaa i hope you're doing good too :')) AND THANK YOU I LOVE YOUR THEME MORE?? it's so colourful and very funky >:)
BUT MDSFHM I'M HONOURED and embarrassed i'm sure there were many mistakes i could make better in my past writings SOBS.. i'll stalk your writings too given the time!!! >:))
and thank you!! my exams are (finally) really over but all the best over there :')) you've got this!! and even if you don't it's really just some numbers and letters, they won't get you >;)) PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF OKAY drink plenty of water and consume lots of self love :33
HI HELLO REIDA!!! IVE BEEN GOOD I MISSEd tALKING TO YOU HOW HAVE U BEEN? ahh no worries! sdksjdjsd lucky, i have to stay cramped in my house :')) /lh. but yes thoma would be the big brother who remembers to bring the snacks or carries them around in case i get hungry hehe. ADSKJDSA SINGING IN THE CAr WOULD DriVE DILUC NUTS especially if it's ajax whos singing. or smack him for playing that kind of music since. little sister in the car (me) hehehds. anyways mostly playing genshin for me! ~Lycoris
HI HELLO!! THAT'S SO GOOD TO HEAR i'm doing alright >:)) gonna travel tonight so i'm quite thrilled!! BUT :(( i hope you can find enjoyment in your home :3
AND YES BACK TO THE BIG BROS CONVO!! that's so true actually, thoma and diluc would be the logistics brothers who brings the essentials mfshfmj kaeya would probably just. buy snacks at the gas station stores MFHSJ i'd like to think they'd both fight for the aux cord but let you play whatever you want
hmehdkdhd no don’t be sad!! i don’t even think you know we’re mutuals since we’ve actually never ever interacted off anon, so idm if you try hunting me down HAHA
okay okay here’s a small letter, take your time to respond
dear (omg idk how to spell your name HAMSHKSS ‘M SORRY)
hihi! i know we haven’t interacted for a very long time but you were my inspiration to start my own writing blog!! you interacting with people and generally being really funny and relatable always made me feel so excited whenever you answered my asks. AND YOUR WRITING IS SOO GOOOOOOD HNNGSHDKHDJDHD OMG TEACH ME SKILLS 😭😭. you’re so so kind and hardworking i think and just generally all around so awesome. i’m so glad i met you!!
- sincerely, 🌬️
ps: remember to take breaks while studying don’t overwhelm yourself D:<
HI SOBS OH MAN THAT'S SO? SAD?? i take note of each and every one of my moots i promise ;0; HMM okay then i'll make a guess does your username start with a? hehe
YOUR LETTERRR MFHDMFJD oh i'm so so touched and honoured to have pushed you to start a writing blog!! i enjoy conversing with you too my friend, it's always nice seeing your messages in my inbox :3 AND MSHFDM there's so much to improve on but thank you for your kind words :')) my heart is going crazy rn!! i keep this letter in my pocket of favourite things to read :>
pixelskylines
stormborns
theartofmadeline
vaporwave
2087
blakekathryn