reflection on personality

A blog that contains my thoughts on the approaches to personality, serving as my journal for my Psych 150 class under Professor Josefina Andrea Cantiller. Section: THU Cognitive Approach Biological Approach Humanistic Approach

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When we do a task that is challenging, a task that requires mastery and our full concentration, we put ourselves in a moment that is called an optimal experience. I experience optimal experience when I am dancing, especially when dancing with a group. 

Dancing feels like my body is taking over because of how much it has mastered the steps already. I don't have to think of what to do next because everything just feels like one flow - every step ends up coming naturally.

Dancing is one of the best things I've done in my life. It makes me feel alive, in control - it makes me feel like absolutely nothing else matters. 

(Photo from: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.592523680787557.1073741826.111566578883272&type=3)

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The Cognitive Approach: the approach that taught me to change the way I view things. Look at the bright side all the time to live a happy life.

(Photo not mine)

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What do I look for in men?

Burger said that women prefer to mate with men who can provide for their offspring. He also mentioned that women are more interested in locating a partner high in socioeconomic status and ambitiousness. In addition to this, it was also mentioned that women in one study were more willing to give up physical attractiveness in their partner than high status and resources.

As a girl (or a woman), I just couldn't agree more. I cannot find the right words to express how true I think this is. I know I'm still young, but just like any other college girl out there, I've thought about what I want in a man (or my future husband) and the things Burger mentioned were in my list. 

For me, it doesn't matter if he is good looking (but that would be plus points) as long as he can provide for me and our (future) family. Since I'm still a student, then the man I am looking for is a student who is hardworking and ambitious. I want someone who will not give up on his dreams, whether it is to become a doctor, lawyer, etc. 

In addition to these things, I want someone who is giving, caring, and loving. It might be thrilling to be with someone who's a "bad boy" but let's face it, a good boy beats a bad boy in the long run. (As long as the good boy isn't boring.) 

Also, it wouldn't be so bad if he looked like Zac Efron:

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My Possible Self

Burger defined Possible Self as a cognitive representation of the kind of person we might become someday, including roles and occupations we aspire to. He also said that our possible self includes the attributes we think we might posses in the future. 

So, what is my possible self? 

I think someday, I could be a great lawyer who is also a a great dancer and a great mother. I believe I'll also be a hardworking person. I will be dedicated to my work but I will definitely not forget about my family. Aside from being a great mother and a lawyer, I will also have some time to dance because I've always wanted to be a great dancer. 

But how can my possible self affect me today?

Burger mentioned that out possible selves have two important functions: they provide incentives for future behavior and help us interpret the meaning of our behavior and the events in our lives.

My possible self motivates me to strive in school and never give up (even if there are days that I badly want to already). Keeping in mind what I could be someday if I work hard is enough to keep me going. When I get low grades, though, I get depressed and start having thoughts like 'maybe I'm not meant to be a lawyer' or 'maybe this course isn't for me.' Luckily, I get to put these things aside because there are other things that make me believe that I am in the right path.

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This part of the book that was under the cognitive approach caught my attention while I was reading. I just recently broke up with my boyfriend that I have liked for 3 years when I read it, so seeing this as an example made the cognitive approach relatable and easier to understand.

In addition to this, it somehow also made me feel a little better. It helped me calm down and clear my mind. It made me realize that it wasn't the end of the world for me, and that I'd meet someone better, someone who I'll love more. The words written were exactly what I needed to hear.

The cognitive approach made me realize that I could make my days, weeks, years and even my world better by just changing how I view things. Instead of focusing on the bad things that happen to me, I should just always remember the things that I should be thankful for.