ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝ㅤI COULD LIVE FORVER AND A DAY WITH HER . . . .
. . . . . I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IF IT AIN’T WITH HER❞
꒰ ୨୧ ─ 🦢 Alexia, she/her, capricorn, Texan, a writer for various of fandoms, lover of older men, criminal minds obsessed, f1 enthusiast, Ferrari&&mclaren biased, romcoms and sitcoms enjoyer, jack abbot’s wannabe controversially young gf 3>
Criminal minds masterlist formula 1 masterlist. request open
𖤓 — summary: you’re crush on the well older man is revealed when walker plays wing-man
𖤓 — warnings: pinning, tension, suggestive content, fluff, john (with affection) being annoying. Edited but maybe some errors.
𖤓 — a/n: my first Bucky fic, not too sure how to feel about it, but i loved writing it!
Bucky Barnes, a name you heard a million times a day, wether it be on the news, an article or on paper.
But in your world, a name that could make your heartthrob like no other.
Your crush on the well older man, wasn’t new.
Anyone who looked at you could tell from a mile away you fancied him, eyes turned into hearts when you looked at him, red as a tomato cheeks, smile so wide it just about reached ear-to-ear, sweaty shaky hands when he took yours in his, words forming weird when he came around.
It made people laugh, really. How easily stupid, in a nice way, you went with him. How he could affect you in such ways, but you wouldn’t dare tell him the bombshell that is your crush on him, especially when he’s made it known to you, and those around him, he couldn’t handle relationships because his age is something he’s always thinking about when he’s with someone, and it affects him poorly.
However that still didn’t stop you from admiring the man, especially now, him in the boxing ring with bob, teaching him how to fight and defend himself. He looked good, to say the least. Wearing a tight while tank top, grey basketball shorts, long hair tied back in a ponytail, and sweat dripping down his body like he’d just jumped in a pool.
Your lip got caught between your lip as you watched him throw firm but gentle punches to bob, who was terrified out of his mind when it came to fighting Bucky. You watched his biceps pop out as he threw a punch, his arms looked godly fully glistering in sweat.
In your dead-full-focused on Bucky, john, who just so happened to appear right beside you in your daydream, cleared his throat loudly enough that Bucky looked at him and shot him a thumbs up, he shot you a quick smile that was to die for, which you just about did.
He turned his attention back to bob, punching him hardly in the stomach, which sent him down to the ground again, he got up from the floor groaning holding onto his now Bucky imprinted marks on his stomach.
“So, drop the news yet, kid” john so casually asked, bumping your shoulder with his. smirk wide on his face as he eyed you and the way you watched Bucky throw hits, more-so the way his arms fixated.
You threw an angry glance at him, “shut up, no” you tried to show a pissed off look to john, but the second Bucky looked at you again and gave you his infamous wink, you crumbled under the weight and turned red as a tomato.
John’s head fell back as he laughed loudly. “oh, you poor thing” he ruffed your hair, which you shooed his hand away. He leaned down to your ear, “you’re so crazy for him, it’s embarrassing sweetheart”
You know john meant his words in a light, teasing matter. But considering how absolutely down-bad you were for the older man, you ducked your head low, actual embarrassment setting in,
“i hate you” john fake gasped pretending to be hurt by your very weak comeback.
“Wow, I’m so hurt. Come on, you’re not even gonna show him hints you’re interested?”
You looked at him so fast, john flinched back like you were gonna hit him. “I’ve tried, walker, the old man isn’t so bight when it comes to girls showing their attraction for him”
John’s face lit up like he’d just thought of the most amazing thing. “maybe get in the ring with him” he shrugs like it’s nothing.
“Me, fighting?, yeah okay” like bob, fighting wasn’t exactly your strongest suit, you were better and trained better with weapons. “Never in a million years would i think about getting into a ring with Bucky”
John gave you a look, that you knew absolutely nothing good will come out of it. “Barnes” you froze like somebody had placed a target on your head and if you moved, you would drop dead, which in this case would be an better option than whatever john was about to suggest. “I have another thing, you can train for today” he proudly pointed at you, pushing you forward to get into the boxing ring.
You shook your head rapidly, feet coming to an halt from john’s pushing. “no, no, I’m good” god you’ve never wanted to curl up in a ball and hide away forever.
Bucky titled his head and hummed, a smirk plastered across his face. “You wanna go a round?” His hands came to rest on his waist, training bob now long forgotten as bob whined his way out the ring, murmuring a good luck under his breath to you as he limped away.
The words you formed in your head got stuck in your throat, so john answered for you,“Yes! she would love to go a round with you” john’s smile was teeth showing wide as he spoke for you.
You were gonna murder him in his sleep
Bucky walked over to the side you were standing at and held out his hand for you to take, “well, hop in doll” you felt like throwing up.
You took his hand in yours and let yourself get pulled into the ring with him in a quick motion. John walked to the way back with bob and gave you a thumbs up, and a stupid wiggle of his eyebrows. You quickly gave him the middle finger in return, and forced yourself to face the man you so desperately wanted to hide from.
“So, want easy or hard”
God you were about to drop dead, you stuttered out a response, “s-sorry?”
“Want me to go easy or hard on you, darling” bucky’s voice was laced with a darkness with and a hint of jokiness.
“Easy, please’’ your voice came out smaller than you wanted, which made him raise his eyebrows in a repeat yourself manner, “easy, please” you repeated louder, making a puff of air leave his lips in fake shock
“Thought you would of wanted hard” he joked.
“Well its my first time” in the background you heard john laugh hard, making your cheeks turn even redder than before. “Fighting!, i mean.. i’m better using my weapons skills instead”
In your distracted rant, Bucky had kicked your leg to the side, sending you easily down to the floor with a loud bang. “ focus” he yelled, letting you get up before throwing a punch to your stomach making you groan.
You bailed up your fist like yelena had taught you and took a swing at him, cussing yourself out when you missed and instead punched the air, giving him another opportunity to throw a hit to your side, which made you hunch over side pulsing badly from his strong hit.
“Said easy” you moaned through the pain.
“Nothing’s ever easy with me sweetheart”
Feet hitting against the pavement beneath you was all you heard as you maneuvered through his throws and punches. It was an never ending game of training, he was brutal with his hits and in return so were you, at least that’s what you thought. Bucky offered called you out in the mist of fighting, claiming your hits were so soft it was like he was getting hit with a feather.
Sweat soon coated your bodies, deep and loud breaths covered the room as you both kept taking swings at each other. Hit after punch, punch after hit, you wanted to stop, but Bucky didn’t allow you to, he made sure you learned his way of fighting the hard way, even if you wanted easy.
He moved his fist out to make contact with your face, but was surprised when you ducked perfectly on time. “Atta girl, you’re getting it” he tried another punch to the stomach, but was left stunned and shocked when you locked your leg around his and tugged him down to the ground.
You hunched over your knees, a silent celebration going on in your head at you finally getting the big, bold and tough man down. “got you” you spoke through loud breaths.
Bucky got up from his position on the floor like nothing and walked up to you, having no time to react he picked you up over his shoulder and threw you down to the floor with a loud thud, “you were saying” he straddled your stomach, hands on either side of your head.
“I hate you” you couldn’t face him, so you looked to the side, which only then did you realize john and bob were no longer in the room with you. “I had you, just couldn’t stand to lose”
Bucky grabbed your jaw and forced you to look him in the eyes, “oh you had me” he leaned down dangerously close to your lips, so close you could feel his breath on the surface, “just didn’t want to lose to you”
You chuckled heavily, “sore loser” you lightly pushed his stomach in hopes he’ll get the hint to get off you, but he didn’t move an inch. Now your stomach grew tight with nervousness settling in. “Fights over?” You asked with a tit of your head.
Bucky nodded, but just leaned back on his knees. “Tell me” he looked down at you, chest heaving up and down. “I’ve been hearing some stuff about you around the tower lately”
His hand dropped to softly touch your exposed skin from where your loose tank top gilded up, a even hotter heat coated your body. “what” you paused, “stuff”
Right then Bucky finally slowly lifted himself off you and sat down on the hard ground, beside your body which was frozen to the ground. “About your crush on me”
his confession made you shut your eyes in embarrassment, chest beginning to grow fear of him thinking you’re pathetic and weird for developing a crush on him, when he’s specifically told you he doesn’t love the ideals of relationships at the moment.
Your silences made him lightly uncomfortable, “is it not true?”
You swallowed a large amount of pride and finally answered him, “it’s true” you sat up, tugging your legs closer to you in hopes to protect yourself, from him, no, from rejection. “I know you’ve told me about your whole thing for disliking relationships, so I’m sorry”
“Why are you apologizing” you heard him scoot closer to you, so you were touching shoulder to shoulder.
Getting the courage you looked at him, “for liking you?”
Bucky chuckled, hand wiping the sweat from his face, “that’s a stupid thing to apologize for” you nodded, it was stupid to say sorry for liking someone, but it was the only thing you felt was right to say.
And then tension filled up the room, the whole training and fighting each other long forgotten as you both sat there in complete silence, one another trying to figure out the right words to say.
It was, for you, a difficult situation, your crush on the man finally coming to light after years of trying to hide them from him, and him sitting beside you not saying anything, just staring into space, not to your knowledge mouth full of things he wants to say to you, but too afraid to.
You cleared your throat and went to get up from the floor, everything that was going on getting too much for you to handle. You offered him a hand to help him up from the ground which he gracefully took.
Without any words, just glances at one another, you both left the training room together, walking side by side, each other going to your separate rooms. It was killing you really, the awkward silence and feeling between you both.
When you reached your room you took one last look at him before turning to walk into your room, what you didn’t expect however was he him pushing you into your wall, hands going to your hips, lips crashing onto your yours, in a longing feeling.
Your hands got tangled into his hair, tugging him forward as close as possible, afraid he’s giving you a sorrow rejection kiss to cover the pain he’ll leave you with, but him lifting you up and wrapping your legs around his waist told you this was something else, something more than longing, instead desperation and wanting.
He carefully carried you to your bed, lips not bothering breaking apart even to breathe. He laid you down on your sheets, hand coming to rest against your jaw opening your mouth so his tongue could make way into your mouth. He pushed open your knees farther apart to make move for him to settle comfortably between them.
You moaned into his mouth when you felt his knee brush against your clothed core. “Bucky” You spoke against his lips.
He broke the kiss, lips instead tracing down your neck where he kissed and sucked hard enough to leave marks. “Yes, doll?”
“This isn’t a pity kiss right”
he lifted his head from your neck and faced you properly. “I told myself to go to my room, leave you alone. But I just couldn’t stop myself from breaking my own rules for you”
Your fallen hair that covered your face, he moved. “I’ve liked you for awhile now, but the age..’”
You softly creased his face, “don’t even think about when I’m with you, Bucky”
He hummed, “i want this to work, but I don’t know how”
“I’ll teach you my way, you teach me your way”
He laughed softly, “doll, back in my day dating was a lot different”
You rolled your eyes, giggling a bit. “Okay then you teach me how you want me to be good fighter and I’ll teach you to how do this,” you made a hand gesture, “whole relationship thing”
Warnings: dark content, touching without consent, male masturbation.
a/n, anyone want a fully version of this? I’m more than willing to write one.
Everyone had a dark side.
Whether they admit it or not.
Sometimes that side people wanted to hide snaps in them, like an acorn. Once it’s cracked open it’s impossible to put back together.
Those thoughts for some people can be evil, vile, malicious, sick and twisted.
Bob happened to be one of those people who tended to keep those dark and deepest thoughts from you.
He knows if he confesses his sins to you, you’ll judge him, look at him differently, be afraid of him, hide from him, or worse move out of the tower just so you wouldn’t have to face his sinfulness mind.
those vile things he felt were wrong in his head, he very-well knew that and were even more dangerous to play in real-time.
Whenever he would he look at you his hands would bail up in fists in order to control himself from the little devil on his shoulder telling him all the things he didn’t to hear about you, how nice your legs looked when you wore a skirt, to look at your breasts when you leaned over the table to tell him something, to pin you against the wall when you gave him a simple hug and he took in a shale breath smelling your signature shampoo you used.
It got even worse at night when he tossed and turned on his bed body aching for an release, the devil would return telling him to turn go to your room, you wouldn’t mind if he just hopped in the bed with you, pushing up your usual nightgown you wore to bed, spread open your legs and let his cock swim in your sweet juices.
He would scream in his pillow in hopes to silence out those voices, tears of frustration would fill his waterline when He couldn’t shut them out.
Some nights like a puppet on a string somebody moved his body without his will of knowledge and walked him over to your room, he would stand outside your room for hours on end, pacing back and forth between opening your door to face the sweet face he so desperately wanted to ruin, a body he craved to get into, or voice that is yours he desired to hear scream while he was inside you.
Tonight he laid down, faced his ceiling, hands clasped over his chest, fingertips drumming against his chest. He tried and failed that night, he couldn’t sleep yet again and like a puppet, pulled with such force he walked himself to your door.
He lost the game and let his dark side consume him.
When he twisted the knob to your door he tried to pull his arm back, but it was no use, he had lost full control.
Walking into your room his breathing picked up, he panted and panted like a beast locked away from the public eye for its own good and safety.
His feet walked him to the side of the bed where you were laid down at, chest against the sheets, one leg spread out, ass on full display to him in the tiny shorts you decided to wear for the night.
“So beautiful” he absorbed your body in his head, dug deep in there to replay back in time, when it was just him and his hand in the shower alone.
“You’re so asleep” his eyes grew dark, hooded with a cloud of want and desire. “Stay like this please” he begged, hands beginning to twitch at his sides.
His hand reached out, softly creasing your skin which grew goosebumps when his cold hand came in contact. “So soft” he mumbled. He inhaled deeply taking in your smell, vanilla lotion covering your skin, he wanted to taste you. He leaned down licking a Strad of your skin, his tongue leaving a wet trail behind as he licked a good amount of your arm, the vanilla lingered on his tongue making him groan quietly.
“Taste good” he hummed, licking upward getting closer to your neckline, it was like you laid out perfectly for him, he had a good way-line to your neck, he placed kitty licks to the exposed skin. Making sure you didn’t move an inch, otherwise he’d be fucked, if he even cared anymore.
His teeth sunk into your skin, his hand disappearing underneath your big shirt to cup your breasts, tugging and rubbing the nipples. “Feel so good”
To no avail you still didn’t even finch, making a sick happiness fill his stomach.
He pulled down the silk sheets that covered the remaining of your body, he whined in desperation, hand already playing with his cock thought his pants. He was painfully hard and he needed you so badly, sick and twisted thoughts formed in his head as he pulled his cock out and began rocking his hand up and down his length, a mixed of soft, sharp moans left his mouth as he looked at your perfection of an ass, imagining his cock was suffered in-between them.
“Fuck feels good”, he panted, his other hand racking through his hair pulling at it picturing your hands running through it.
You began to stir in your sleep, a groan leaving your lips as you flipped over to lay on your back, now bob was frightened, chest becoming tight and heavy as he looked at your body facing him, chest heaving up and down making your tits pop out, legs spread open even more, so much more that he could see your pussy lips through your shorts.
spitting a few droplets of spit of his hand he ran his hand faster up and down his cock, the sight of of you starting to kill him now, that he didn’t even realize that his quiet moans and groans he kept a secret, were now beginning to spill from his mouth and fill the quiet void in the room.
He Pictured you, saw you in his head bouncing up and down his cock, tits moving with you, head thrown back as you screamed his name, his hand wrapped around your waist as he held you steady so you could milk up his cock.
And then, while he was lost in translation.
“Bob?” Your confused, raspy voice spoke, “what the fuck are you doing” you jumped up, clawing backwards on your bed, back hitting your headboard with a loud thud.
In a evil, malicious way, he could care less he got caught.
He opened his eyes to face your horrified, confused, angry ones.
ꔫ pairing: thunderbolts x reader, little bit of Bob x reader.
ꔫ summary: back from a mission, the team needs fixing up. luckily you’re there for them to help them be put back on their feet
ꔫ warnings: mentions of blood, light pining between Bob and reader, petnames, mentions of wounds, mental breakdown, fluff/hurt, some foul language. Reader is affectionate with the team. Inaccuracies of medical care because i suck at writing about it, but i tried my best. Terrible ending. This is also long as hell. edited but maybe some error’s missed because tumblr was messing up.
ꔫ a/n: praying this doesn’t flop, I’ve helped too hard on this 🙏 anyways I loved writing this and I have a LOT of thunderbolts fics coming out!
You stood by the elevators anxiously pacing back and forth, hands clutching onto the med bag that hung around your shoulders tightly. You hated this part, hated when they were gone Longer than usual. Hated seeing them come home bruised, bloody, tired or some sort of bone broken. But it was your job to see them broken, only to be patched up and put back together by you.
“It’s not good when you’re like this” bob, who was left behind while the others fought wars and battles, suddenly spoke softly from behind you. He came to stand beside you, a gentle hand stroking your arm in comfort.
you sighted, running your fingers through your hair, “i know, but they’ve been gone longer than usual” your voice came out unusually low and sharp. Bob nodded in silence, he knew you were more than beyond worried, probably more than him, because he knew your history with them went way more back than him and them.
Bob dropped a arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “Maybe, they stopped to get groceries”
bob tried to get you to smile, but whined in embarrassment when it didn’t linger around long for it to hit your stressed and anxious head. So instead of saying anything else, bob stayed there with you, holding a gentle hold on your body, in hopes it might ease some of your stress, which it did. You felt a sense of calmness that time he held you, his touch was warm and gentle kinda like holding a little heater.
He kissed the side of your head, “they’re okay” he whispered into your ear. You nodded throat becoming tight with tears that wanted to fall down, but you swallowed then up and put on your best brave face.
It wasn’t easy, this job. Before you were recruited to work in the tower, you had worked at a hospital, a hospital that was near the tower and sometimes when a injury wasn’t that serious, the fighting hero’s would stop by just for a quick patch up and they would leave.
Over time, you saw and helped than regularly, they talked with you about their wars stories they were allowed to share and some stories about their own lives, separate from their line of work, whether they were true or not you listened and heard them. Loving the fact they were comfortable enough to open up with you.
Eventually though, they stopped coming to your hospital and were fixed up at home by someone else. until john had come to your place of work and complained that the person, who fixed him at the tower, messed up his stitching and probably had a infection, which he was right, he indeed had a real bad infection, but with the right treatment and medication he was good as new.
You thought that was the last time you would see him, seeing as they hired somebody else to take care of their wounds. But to your surprise that night john had stopped by your hospital he left a note on the hospital bed, call this number, we would much prefer you helping us and not a random. You were suspicious of the note, but the many nights you spent fixing their wounds, making you laugh, even going as far as to bringing you lunch from time to time just to see you, the suspicions you had were thrown out the window and you called the number.
And now, three years later, many patching them up and laughs later. You had a whole floor to yourself, a little hospital, you would put it. You even hired a couple doctors and nurses you trusted, but the team still refused their help and went directly to you when they needed patching up. You would scouted them about that, saying you couldn’t stand to see them basically standing in a line waiting for one another to get done with you so they could be next in line to get ‘healed’ by you, as they would call it.
Now, The mission they were assigned to was supposed to be simple, stop the bad guys, get the important information needed, and get out.
However That was four days ago when they were assigned to the mission. Within those four nights you tossed and turned around on your bed, a nasty feeling in your stomach that something went wrong.
So when Val stopped by your floor and told you she got in contact with them again after going radio silence for those last four days, you immediately felt a relief fill your body, but it was replaced with those stress and anxious thoughts, that prevented you getting a good nights sleep, when she told you they were more than beyond bruised, cuts, and scars.
In her words, “it’s a miracle they survived” she chuckled as he walked out. You wanted to punch her for that, and you would have, if it wasn’t for bob who grabbed on your bailed up fist, shooting you look that said just leave it alone.
The silence that filled the room from Bobs failed joke, was too much for you to handle. So when You dropped your head on his shoulder, you decided to add a light humor to the dead silence “we needed milk, maybe they stopped for that” you took a peak at him and saw a smile spreading across his face. You both broke out in a light laughter.
“Yeah, we did, john used the whole milk carton last night, “ he paused for a moment his body shaking as a laughing filled his stomach, “trying to make cookies for the guys’’ you looked at him funny, john walker trying to bake, that was new.
“John, baking?’’ Your head fall back a loud laugh erupting from your mouth, “oh, i would have loved to see that”
Bob wiped the tears that filled his waterline from the laughing, “imagine him in a apron, baking”
“God that would’ve been a sight to see” your continued laugher was covered by Bob pulling you back into his side, his arms wrapped around your back holding you place as you both stood there in front of the elevator waiting for the team to come back.
Once the laughter died down, you full came to the realization that you were embraced by bobs touch and warmth, “thank you, for this”
Bob hummed, pulling away and staring into your eyes. “Somebody always needs a little laughter to cope with the bad stuff that surrounds them” you nodded in a silence agreement.
The staring contest between you two broke, once you heard the elevator start moving, you looked at the number above the elevator doors and saw it was going up towards your floor. “Shit, they’re back” you awkwardly cleared your throat and straightened up your back immediately putting your gloves on, opening your med-bag just in case.
Bob snapped out of his glaze and looked around to call for help, but panicked a little once he saw it was just you both on the floor alone. ‘’shit, w-what can i do, y’know, just in case” Bob caught the gloves you threw at him and put them on.
You grabbed onto his arm and quickly pulled him to stand put by the operating table, where you had already cleaned the table and put fresh sheets down. “Stay here, and I’ll guide you if someone comes to you”
Once those doors opened, you stopped for a second and took in a sharp breath. They looked horrible, more horrible than you’ve ever seen. They were out of breath as They held each other up as best as they could.
They walked off the elevator path and headed straight to you. “Fuck” you said under your breath as you walked up to john, who was holding up Bucky. “Shit where’s his wound” you threw bucky’s good arm around your neck and lead him to the operating table.
John hunched over, hands on his knees as he caught his breath. “Side, Did my best at patching him up” john spoke breathlessly, you took a quick peak at him and saw the tiredness and hurt in his eyes.
Each member of the team walked to the empty beds falling on them with cries and groans.
“Okay, you did good. Follow bob and go sit down.” immediately bob appeared by your side and walked john to the different hospital bed that were ready to use.
You picked up scissors and cut open Bucky’s shirt, there a white bandage covered his side like john said. You slowly pulled the bandage down and saw the pretty bad stab wound to his side.
“Damn” you muttered. You were glad the stab he’d gotten didn’t hit any major arteries , or else he might not have made it because of were he was stabbed at.
Through his groans and gurgles, Bucky spoke with a pained voice. “Hows it look, doll?” You rolled your eyes at him and continued working on clearing the wound just enough for you to stitch him up.
“Pretty bad, buck” he cursed you out as he felt the head of the needle pinch his skin, “not nice”
He sent you an apologetic smile and whined in pain, “doesn’t exactly feel good”
You continued fixing his wounds, gave him medicine to help his pain and soon enough he fall back on the bed comfortably closing his eyes finally chasing that exhaustion sleep he’s been needing.
You took one last look at him before walking to the next rooms.
“Where’s your guys wounds at” you put on a fresh pair of gloves and watched as Ava lifted her suit with a shaking hand and showed you her big cut at her side that met her hip-bone, Next yelena showed you her back, you whined in response to the massive damage done to her back, some cuts and some burns, the burns, your eyes got wide with concern and curiosity but she sent you look that simply said don’t ask.
alexi waved you off like the big tough old man he was.
“Injuries not that serious” the girls and john groaned in response from their own beds.
“He was stabbed in the leg, got maybe some glass pieces in his hands.” Yelana glanced at her dad with an angry look for trying to get of getting help, again.
“Okay.’’ you muttered under you breath and looked over to john, who was just staring at the ceiling, hands clasped together over his chest like he’d just been put in a casket, “john, you good, over there?!” You yelled standing beside Ava’s bed attending to her wounds.
John gave you a thumbs up, “good doc, just resting my eyes” you shook your head at him, the rush of adrenaline flowing through your body seeing him like that, going away a bit, just a tiny bit.
“Don’t fall asleep john, might have a concussion that i Need to check You for.’’ John hummed throwing another thumbs up. You sighted frustration setting in, and the sweat starting to cover your body wasn’t exactly fun to combine with it. “okay, bob, come’’ bob immediately approached your side again, looking lost, fumbling with his fingers nervously looking between the injured team.
You noticed that and grabbed his shoulders gently, “Bob you good to work”
Bob nodded, but you needed more ensuring than that, “speak bob, please’’
“I-im good, what do you need’’ he looked a little more relaxed than before, so you pointed to where yelena was laying down at on her side.
“Yelena’s got some cuts and burns that are pretty bad, but shes gonna be fine’’ you saw a reflection of relief leave his eyes at you telling him she’ll be okay, “there’s some medicine in the med cabinet that i use for cleaning burn wounds, go get that, and get her some pain medicine, she’s gonna need it’’ he nodded to the words you told him and before he could fully walk away you grabbed his hand pulling back towards you.
“You remember how I taught you to clean wounds right?”
he nodded, but saw your face. “Yes I remember’’ he confidently said.
“Okay, now go stitch her up and come back to me when your done”
By the time you were done patching up Ava’s wounds, which she gave you many curses and insults for fixing she was almost as good as new. you left her alone to get rest and wandered over to john’s bed. You hissed looking at the dried up blood on his head, and the pretty big cut that the blood was coming from “What’d you get hit with, walker” you carefully inspected the cut.
“A pretty big rock. Doc’’ he spoke way too cheerfully making a light smile appear on your face, despite the insane amount of bloody towels and rugs surrounding you.
‘’do you feel nauseous, dizzy in the head, can’t see straight’’ john nodded to all those words you said, “okay, then you’re probably concussed, the cut on your head isn’t too big, and you have a few more cuts across your, well, whole body, that I’ll need to clean, can you take off your shirt’’
John scoffed playfully , “geez at least take me out first’’
You gave him a stern look, “john..’’
He lifted his shirt above his head and tossed it to the side. Once you got to work on cleaning and patching up those nasty cuts, bob approached you again, “she’s all good, what can i help with next” he looked at john and gave him a light smile which john gave back.
“Doing good, Bob’’ Bob muttered a thank under his breath and looked away from him.
“Okay, alexi has a pretty nasty cut, can you finish up cleaning john, and I’ll go patch him up’’ you looked at bob and handed him the cleaning kit you were using for john
“Y-yeah, of course’’ you raised your eyebrows at his sudden nervousness behavior, but you understood his shyness when it came to john.
You patted his shoulder as you walked away, “you got this’’ you whispered as you walked passed him
“Alexi, dude do you feel” alexi gave you the middle finger a smile lingering on his face at your stupid question.
“Well, I’m hurting’’ you hummed and wasted no time in getting him all fixed up.
“Thought you didn’t want my help” you joked
He laughed loudly, “pains getting worse”
“This mission was intense, huh?’’ He whined as you dabbed rubbing alcohol on his wounds. “never seen you all this badly hurt’’
He sighed, mouth opening and closing debating on whether he should tell you what happened on the failed mission.
“You don’t have to tell me” you spoke softly, knowing he was the main person out of the team that didn’t like scaring you with the horrors and pain that came with the job.
When he opened his mouth to speak he kept it simple and lighthearted, not wanting to go into fully detail then he needed to.
“everything that shouldn’t have happened, happened. We got trapped underground no way to contact help” he paused momentarily. Not longer whining in pain even when when you opened his wounds on his hands to pull out the big glass sherds that were stuck deep beneath his skin.
‘’They tortured us for information that we were supposed to get from them’’ he blinked slowly, memories flowing from behind his eye’s making a glossy look fill them.“ bastards used something on us so we weren’t the strongest people there” he finished off clearing his throat trying to fight back those memories.
You were left stunned and silenced. After that You just carefully attended to his wounds in pure silence not wanting them to suffer anymore from you trying to pride information out of them.
You finished up patching him up and softly played with his hand, a single tear fell down as he closed his eyes to finally get sleep.
Your heart ached for them, and you didn’t know to help them out instead of attending to their wounds.
“See you getting lost, sweetheart’’ john spoke from across the room, still getting treated by bob. “Nothing you could have done, we’re re the fighters, we’ll move along peacefully and forget this ever happened’’ you crossed your arms as you walked back over to his bed, standing right beside him.
“Been here for three years, almost four. never get used to seeing ya’ll come to me all bruised and hurt”
He used his good hand and played with the ends of your hair, something he said he used to do with his sister when she was young and she couldn’t fall asleep. “It’ll take a long time, y/n. But just remember, we’re tough and strong. We will always come back’’
You nodded, he was right and you needed to start believing that.
Once bob had patched him up, the very long and bloody night came to an end. Everybody was patched up and sleeping or watching some tv. You checked on them on last time before excusing yourself to go to the little kitchen your floor had, for a break, a break away from the injured heroes, a break from the bloodiness, a break from seeing the people you cared about so much hurt and broken.
You poured yourself a glass of water and sat down on the barstool, head in hands and deep breaths leaving your mouth. “You okay” you jumped looking behind you to see bob standing there still in his bloody clothes, which you told him he could change out of already, but like you he hadn’t gotten to that yet, seeing as he double checked everyone, like you. Making sure they were okay and no more blood was spilling from their wounds.
“Shit, you scared me” you patted the barstool next to so he could sit down, “I’m fine, nauseous and tired, but fine. How about you?” You saw a dead stare in his eyes, confused, tired, lost.
“How do you deal with this” he played with his hands that were on the counter in front of him.
You shrugged, “still trying to figure that part out. For now, i just shove it to the back of my head and hope to forget it”
Bob looked at you with concern, “isn’t that somehow making it worse, by not dealing with it firsthand?”
Again you shrugged, “i cope with things wrong, i guess’’ you laid your head on his shoulder, beginning to fumble with your hands the same way he does. “Also, i think I picked up quite a few habits from someone when it comes to coping with stuff” bob looked at you messing with your hands, and also saw that you took in a habit of biting your nails. Two of the habits you scouted him for having and doing.
He grabbed your hand, observing the now ruined skin around your nails. “Interesting”
“Shut up” it went quiet for a moment. Just the two of you enjoying the silence and the comfort of holding one another after the bloody day you both experienced.
“Thank you for your help today, you did good bob.’’ you looked at him only to see him staring at you already. “Couldn’t have done it alone”
bob’s face flustered red, he broke eye contact with you, the kitchen cabinets in front you suddenly looked very interesting. “I think you could’ve” he spoke low and slow. “You’re amazing at what you do, y/n”
now it was your face that beamed red. “Thank you bob” you said, standing up from the barstool quickly. A bad (good) ideal formed in your head, you leaned down and placed a quick kiss to the corner of his lips and made a run for it.
“Hey you cant do that!’’ Bob called out, but you were long gone behind the glass doors where the injured hero’s were at.
Your heart was beating fast and uncontrollably. “Shit” you ran a hand through your hair, stomach getting sick with butterflies. You shook your head, hoping to forget you did that and walked over to Bucky who was now stirring awake.
“How you doing buck?”
Bucky cleared his throat a grunt leaving his lips as he sat up a bit on the bed. “Feeling like i got stabbed” you chuckled, placing a hand on his covered wound making sure blood didn’t leak through the bandage.
“Well, crazy news flash you did” you joked back.
“How the other’s?” His joking voice was gone and replaced with concern.
You sighted, crossing your arms as you leaned against the pillar, “in bad shape, girls suffered major wounds, stab wounds to be exact, but they will be fine with basic medical care, john has a concussion, but he’ll recover fine, same for alexi’’ Bucky exhaled sharply, his body relaxing comfortably on the bed.
“And you?” You titled your head confused, “how are you feeling?, doll”
You shrugged, “fine, used to this already” you lied through your teeth and Bucky saw that.
“You’re not” he spoke with confidence. He patted his bed so you could sit down beside him, which you did.
“I’m not, but I’ll get use to it eventually” your hair fall down as you looked down at the bed. He pushed the fallen hair behind your ear, and gilded his hand down to your chin pitching it so you could look at him.
“It’s a tough job, deadly even. But you know we’ll always come back” you nodded, it was true, you did need to start believing that because they were strong, way stronger than you. And were professionals, they knew what they were doing, knew how to fight, kill and survive. But considering they were the last family you had standing strong it was hard for you not to feel a Sickening feeling when they went out to fight battles nobody would ever know what its like to fight.
“Always gonna worry about ya’ll” he picked up your hand, placing a kiss to the back of it. “You guys are my family”
His eyes gleamed with understanding and love. “I know doll’’
You moved his hair from his eyes and leaned down placing a kiss to his temple. “Try to get more sleep buck, you need it” he looked at you one last time before closing his eyes again letting sleep consume him.
You got up from his bed and walked out his open, quietly closing his door. You walked room from room checking on the other hero’s, making sure they were safe and good. Once you saw they were okay, you shut off the lights on the floor and quietly walked to your room.
You sighted as you sat on the edge of your bed. It was quiet. Way too quiet. You could hear your racing thoughts from which corner of the room, you covered your ears hoping to make those thoughts quiet. But it was no use, you could still hear them.
Your vision soon became blurry, your normal breathing turned to deep shallow breaths that hurt you to breath. You put a hand to you chest clutching your shirt, “fuck, fuck” your chest soon became tight, like somebody had put a big rock on it. “Fuck, it hurts” you didn’t know who you were talking to in the very dark room. But it was probably to the voices that wouldn’t shut up in your head.
Tears started to leak down your eyes that you couldn’t control, and soon enough you had curled into a ball and cried out into your knees. it was too much, too painful, too heartbreaking. The brave wall you put on to your family had came down and you couldn’t stop it.
in the mist of your breakdown you didn’t hear bob’s voice calling out your name, not until you felt a warmth of a body pulling your shaking and crying body into their embrace. You knew it was bob them.
“It’s too much” you finally admitted out loud to him. “Pretend i can handle it, but I can’t”
He softly stroked your hair, his other hand sliding up and down your back. Your tears stained his shirt but he didn’t care he held onto you until your body stopped shaking and soon your tears turned into dried up ones, the only sounds you made were sniffles.
“It’s okay to break down, its what keeps us strong and keeps us from going insane’ he whispered into your ear, “without breaking down we would lose ourselves, make bad decisions, have bad thoughts. So don’t think you’re weak for this’ he gently cradled your face, your red and puffy eyes faced him.
“You help them daily, help them get better, see parts of them your not supposed to see. But you do, you help them get through their pains and sorrows” bob moved you the hair that stuck to your face from crying. He leaned forward pressing his forehead against yours. It finally went silent, just the sound of your heartbeats were the only sound you could hear.
through a rough and tumbling voice you softly spoke, “thank you bob” he knew you meant that sincerely.
He nodded pressing a light kiss to your forehead, “don’t have to thank me”
“You need to change.” He leaned back and took in the sight of you still in your bloody clothes.
Vision still blurry you looked down grabbing at the hem of your shirt, thumb brushing over the dried up blood. “Yeah i do” your voice was barely above a whisper. Bob took in the fact you weren’t doing anything to get rid of the clothes so he got up from your bed and wandered over to your dresser, he pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top.
Walking back to you, he took ahold of your hand and guided to the edge of the bed. “I’ll turn around while you change”
You grabbed the clean clothes from his hands and watched as he turned around, eyes closing tightly to give you more privacy. You pealed the clothes off your body and threw them to the side, you quickly slipped on the shorts and tank top.
You tapped bob on his shoulder, “you can look.”
Bob let his eyes wander over your frame making you go shy, “that looks better” you hummed agreeing with him.
Another staring contest formed between you, waiting for one another to make a move but the long dreadfulness of a night made you break the eye contact which bob wouldn’t admit out loud but he was disappointed, that is until you spoke up in your shyfulness voice, “will you sleep with me tonight?, don’t feel like being alone”
His heart started beating fast when you took his hand and guided him to the side you wanted him to sleep on. He happily got underneath the covers and waited for you to join him. When you did, bob pulled you close to him, one arm underneath your head and the other holding onto your hip. without thinking much bob placed a kiss to the back of you head and pulled the sheets tightly around you both.
You took ahold of his hand on your hip and tugged it against your chest, intertwining your fingers. “thank you again, bob”
“Stop thanking me, I’ll always be there for you”
When sleep overtook your bodies it was like somebody snapped their fingers and turned it morning quicker than usual.
The sounds of birds chirping in the background woke you up to face the sunlight shining into the once darkened room. You blinked a few times confused and hoping to wash the sleep away from your eyes, you took a look at the clock on your bedside table and saw it was eight in the morning. You groaned, head pounding like you’d gotten blackout drunk yesterday. You looked back and saw bob still in the same position, hand still holding yours while light snores left his mouth.
You unlocked your intertwined hands and slowly got up from the bed, cursing when the bed creaked underneath you. ‘’shut up” you muttered underneath your breath, hopping over the dirty clothes on the floor making your way to the shower that you so desperately needed after yesterday’s event.
The warm water felt like a blessing against your skin, you cleaned, washed your hair, exfoliated yourself good enough to were you finally felt free from the events that followed you from yesterday. Getting out of the shower however felt like a curse, you shivered goosebumps coating your skin. you quickly wrapped your robe around your body and walked out the bathroom.
“Interesting” you muttered to yourself when you saw bob still sleeping on your bed except he had turned to lay on his stomach, head slightly turned to the side as his arms were buried deep underneath the pillows his head was resting on.
You took in the quick fact he had gotten rid of his shirt and now the only thing that was covering him was your white sheets. You shook your head at the sudden thoughts that formed when you saw a glimpse of his back, and instead distracted yourself by running to your closest to pick a outfit. Once your changed into the outfit you had walked out of your room and went into the direction where the sleeping heroes were at.
You took in a deep breath when you came face-to-face with the glass door that opened and lead you to them, your hands hesitated pushing them open that is until you heard laugher filling up the floor expecting them to be asleep still, or dead. you were confused.
“There she is!” Bucky cheered, hands clapping loudly When he saw you enter the room. “Good morning, doll” you looked at each one and saw they were all sitting up on their beds, chatting and laughing like nothing had happened to them.
You crossed your hands as you walked up to them, “though for sure i was gonna lose at least one of you” you joked, a smile of relief covering your face.
They dramatically gasped, “can’t get rid of us that fast sweetheart!” Yelana yelled unexpectedly loud from her bed, making the others cover their ears.
“Like i would want to” you walked up to Bucky first to inspect his wound, “how do you feel Bucky?” He jumped slightly when you touched his bandage checking making sure blood didn’t leak through.
“Feel better now that you’re here” you rolled your eyes.
“Too early for the flirting buck” you pushed back his hair from his eyes and looked at the cut underneath his eye making sure it didn’t get worse overnight. “Well so far you look good, I’ll need to change your bandage in a minute, but first I’m gonna check on the others’’ Bucky nodded, grabbing onto your hand before you could walk away from him.
“Told you we would be okay”
That time he told you that you actually believed him.
“I know Bucky”
From the background you could hear the others making throwing up sounds and fake gagging causing you both to laugh, “enough flirting kids, there’s still injured people back here, doctor!’’ Ava yelled at you.
You walked over to them, giggling when you saw them sitting so politely and giving you oh-so sweet smiles. “I’m here, how do y’all feel?”
They shrugged, kicking their feet like kids underneath the blankets that were still covering them “shouldn’t you be checking us to know that” yelana said.
You sighted, “well yeah, but i need to know ya’ll’s pain level” you looked at Yelana’s wounds, whining in pain with her when you pulled down the bandage on her back that was covering her burnt up back, you saw it still looked bright red bits of skin missing and replaced with white puss, “back still looks bad, I’ll need to clean it extra deep, which may hurt.’
Yelena nodded like an was ordinary task, “okay” you gave her a look.
“I’ll need to give you lots of painkillers, which may knock you out for a while’’ you opened the pill bottle on her bedside table, popping out three pills.
She took the pills with water and leaned back against her pillows, re-getting herself comfortable. You gave her one last look before leaving her side, turning your attention over to Ava who now looked uncomfortable adjusting herself on the bed. “Star, how’s the side and hip?”
“Darling, honey, I’m hurting still” she sarcastically said through a painful smile.
“Well, I’m gonna prep you for surgery this morning, so you’ll have to get used to this bed, hon” she groaned, “in the meantime I’ll give you some pain medication, that should make you forget about the pain for awhile” she sent you a small smile and accepted the pills you gave her. You played with her hair and talked for a while trying to calm her nerves down about her surgery she was gonna have, the others occasionally joined into the conversation you both were having also trying to make her less stressed out, when it worked, you quietly left her alone while she was talking to Yelana and wandered over to john.
“How’s the head walker?”
“Hurts a little less than yesterday” you hummed, putting a pair of gloves on so you could change the bandage around his head. “Where’s renold at” your hand came to a halt at unwrapping his bandage, face suddenly turning red as a tomato. John chuckled at that, a wide smile spreading across his face. “Oh…oh?” He wiggled his eyebrows a knowing look in his eyes.
“No, john” you already knew where he was going with those eyebrows wiggles, “just comforted me..’’ you sighed realizing that sounds way worse. “Don’t even” john just broke out in a laughter which made you slap his shoulder for.
“Comforted you??” You ignored him, hands working on changing his bandages. “So, where’s he at”
You gave him a look, “sleeping in my bed” you put your hand on his mouth shutting him up before he could get those words out, “nothing happened!”
“Sure, sure” his words were muffled.
To make matters even worse, bob just so happened to appear right behind you. “Morning john” you dropped your hand from his mouth and turned to look behind you. “And good morning y/n’’
You cleared your throat, “morning bob, I’m gonna check on alexi” you rushed out the room, unluckily for you bob was hot on your tail following you around.
“Could have woken me up” he tugged on your arm pulling you back towards him.
Your grew wide when you realized the distance between you both and slowly took a step back, “figured you needed sleep after yesterday” a blush creeped to your neck. “You know after helping me with these guys’’ you paused, “and girls”
“Right..” it went quiet between you two, a part of you both hoping those lines between you both would be crossed, but you made no move either did he. “So, um, what do you need help with today” Bob scratched his neck awkwardly.
“Why don’t you make breakfast for them, and I’ll finish up here”
Before he could say anything else you rushed away from him, making a beeline to Alexi’s room. “How you feeling old man?”
He showed you the middle finger, “not that old. But I’m not in pain”
you chuckled, “thats a first” you checked the wounds on his hands and then his legs, his wounds didn’t look even remotely good.
Seeing your concerned face, he knew something wasn’t right. “What’s wrong doc”
You re-patched up his hands and legs and moved to stand at the edge of his bed. “Considering i just fixed up you up yesterday, your wounds don’t look the best, so you’ll have to be bedridden until you’re able to fully use your hands, because” you placed a feather light touch to his hand and saw him hiss in pain, “you’re hands will take a long time to properly heal, same for your leg”
“Time to retire?” He jokingly asked.
You snicker, “oh you’re far from that’’
He suddenly got serious, “i will get to use my hands and leg again, right?”
Your gaze softened at him, you nodded. “Of course you will, I’ll make sure you recover right”
Once everybody was checked, changed bandages and looked good enough to be on their way. You stepped aside and watched as bob walked into each rooms, handing them plates of food. A smile grew on your face as you saw the hero’s shoving the food down with laughs and chattering filling the room once again.
