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ellievsbear
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
sheepfilms
Not today Justin
Sade Olutola
Jules of Nature
One Nice Bug Per Day
Peter Solarz
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Sweet Seals For You, Always

No title available

Origami Around
DEAR READER
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird

★

⁂
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Today's Document
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@180stuck
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You finally settled on something semi-biographical, about seadwellers ruling the world. Fun stuff.
Then things started getting a little hot and heavy...
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It started like any typical young hate date, with you two arguing over what movie to watch. You had offered several very reasonable choices from among your favorites and she had been a glubbing shitsponge and refused to pick one. On top of that, she had insulted your movies and your taste in them.
Just like you told Serket: swimmingly.
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Oh cod, it's the crazy bitch. What does SHE want?
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aaruanGatekeeper [AG] began trolling cerberusGenocide [CG] AG: Soooooooo~~? :::;D Did you take my 8rilli8nt advice?~~^ CG: OH JOY, MY WORLD IS COMPLETE NOW THAT VRISKA SERKET HAS SHOVED HER POINTY SNIFF-NUB INTO MY GLUBBING BUSINESS. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'VE SURVIVED SINCE THE LAST TIME YOU TROLLED ME, EARLIER TONIGHT. TRULY MY LIFE WAS A DARKENED, CRUSHING ABYSS OF HOPELESS MISERY DEVOID OF ALL MEANING WITHOUT YOUR HIDEOUS OCTONARY TYPING QUIRK STABBING AT MY OGLE-STALKS AND SLATHERING MUSTARD INTO THE GAPING WOUNDS. AG: ::::/ You've 8een t8lking to Terezi, hav8n't you~~? CG: NO, ACTUALLY. WHAT DOES PYROPE HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? AG: Neeeeeeeevermind!~~^ CG: SURE, I'LL JUST COMPLETELY DISREGARD AND THEN FORGET ABOUT THAT TOTALLY NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS COMMENT. AG: Th8t is defin8ly wh8t you should do now, y8s.~~^ AG: Aaaaaaaanyway! Did you t8ke my advice? Did you?~~^ CG: WHILE I WILL ADMIT THAT YOU ARE CERTAINLY A GLUBBING DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL AND MORE ADEPT AT BEING HATED THAN THE AVERAGE TROLL, I REALLY DON'T THINK I NEED ADVICE ON ROMANCE FROM SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER EVEN HAD ONE QUADRANT FILLED. AG: :::;) Aw, don't te8se.~~^ AG: You're pretty awful yourself, Vantas.~~^ CG: WELL...THANKS, I GUESS. CG: LOOK I DON'T NEED OR WANT YOUR ADVICE, AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NO, I DIDN'T TAKE IT. FEFERI AND I ARE FIN AND SO IS OUR KISMESISITUDE. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, yeah right.~~^ AG: You've 8een clinging desper8ly to your l8me spade for perigrees. AG: If you just took my 8dvice she'd 8e aaaaaaaall over your 8ulge and you wouldn't 8e h8ving trou8les!~~^ CG: WOW, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY I EXPECTED ANYTHING BUT THE CRUDEST OF CONVERSATION FROM YOU. THIS IS WHY PEOPLE THINK LOWBLOODS ARE UNCULTURED MORONS, SERKET. WAY TO REPRESENT YOUR BLOOD CASTE. AG: 8luh 8luh, high8lood hoof8eastshit.~~^ AG: You d8n't know a cull-worthy p8il-le8ving a8out my "8LOOD C8STE", V8ntaaaaaaaas.~~^ AG: Your fucking Hiiiiiiiighness.~~^ CG: OKAY I WAS KIND OF TALKING OUT MY WASTE CHUTE THERE, YOU'RE RIGHT. CG: SORRY. AG: Ooooooooh wh8t's th8t? A hiiiiiiiigh8lood 8pologizing to me? Where 8re my skirts? I need them to curtsyyyyyyyy.~~^ CG: FUCK YOU, SERKET, KNOCK IT OFF. AG: Y8s, sir. S8rry, sir. Should I pow8r your fuck8ng sh8p, sir?~~^ AG: You kn8w, s8 I c8n reeeeeeee8lly repres8nt my 8LOOD C8STE.~~^ CG: VRISKA SERKET, YOU ARE AN INSUFFERABLE BITCH. I'M SORRY, ALREADY, CODDAMN. CG: AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO USE THIS TO GUILT ME INTO TAKING YOUR ADVICE. BECAUSE IT WON'T WORK. CG: YOUR ADVICE IS STUPID AND YOU'RE STUPID. CG: AND PAST ME IS A NOOKSUCKING PAN-FRIED MORON FOR EVEN LISTENING TO IT. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, hoof8eastshit! :::;) You just wouldn't know good rel8ionship advice if it gave you a l8pdance and sucked your 8ulge.~~^ CG: YOU CONTINUOUSLY MEET MY LOW CONVERSATIONAL EXPECTATIONS, SERKET. AG: 8luh. So if you didn't t8ke my 8rilliant advice, how'd it go?~~^ CG: IT CG: IT WENT...SWIMMINGLY. AG: XXXXD Liiiiiiiiar!~~^
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Karkat: Go Forth, Answer That Asshole Trying To Troll You
Oh what NOW? What's this asshole doing interrupting you in the middle of a perfectly good miserable funk?
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Karkat: reflect on your sordid pale past.
No no no no! You don’t want to think about it! You don’t want to have to think about not thinking about it! You just wish it had never happened! So what if you found your ONE TRUE PALE PAL. So what if you will NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT THEM? Your life would be a whole lot better if it had NEVER HAPPENED because then you would have NEVER FUCKED IT UP.
Karkat: Go Forth, Answer That Asshole Trying To Troll You
Karkat: Succumb to unfathomable lust for your Troll-Firefly OTP
You're one of the lucky few whose OTP is HONEST TO GL'BGOLYB CANON. They are SO PALE FOR EACH OTHER it brings tears to your eyes when no one is looking. Honestly, you can't watch Troll Firefly when other people are around.
You truly believe that TROLL MAL and TROLL ZOE are IRREVOCABLY PALE FOR EACH OTHER. They are SOUL MATES IN EVERY WAY. And in spite of poor planning, bad decisions, and DRAMA IN THEIR OTHER QUADRANTS, they ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER and are together no matter HOW MUCH THE OTHER FUCKS UP.
You hope that one day you too will have a MOIRALLEGIANCE that doesn't end up a TOTAL FUCKING DISASTER.
Karkat: Reflect on your Sordid Pale Past
What gifts have you gotten your kismesis, Karkat?
Gifts? GIFTS? Only AS MANY CODDAMN LUSII AS HER ROYAL GLUBBING HORRORTERROR CAN EAT! NEVERMIND THE LIVES IT RUINS AND TROLLS IT LEAVES ORPHANED! NEVERMIND THE CRUSHING GUILT IT HEAPS UPON YOUR NUBBY HORNS! NO, GLUB-MOMMY MUST BE FED, BECAUSE OTHERWISE EVERYONE DIES IN AGONY. THE NEEDS OF THE MANY OUTWEIGH THE NEEDS OF THE FEW, TO QUOTE TROLL ARISTOTLE.
Karkat: Succumb to unfathomable lust for your Troll-Firefly OTP
======> Be Karkat
Your name is KARKAT VANTAS. As you already mentioned to Eridan, it is your WRIGGLING DAY, which most of your asshole friends seem to have forgotten, not that it particularly matters since you're all apparently doomed and anyway Eridan is the only one who ever manages to get you anything you actually want. Except for this AMAZINGLY HIDEOUS SCARF which was a present from YOUR KISMESIS and which you wear ALL THE TIME in a PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE JAB at her. Also because your neck gets chilled. But mostly as a passive-aggressive jab.
You have many and varied INTERESTS, but they aren't really important right now. You are SEA DWELLER ROYALTY, which instills you with a HIGHLY DESERVED AND UNDENIABLE SENSE OF LEADERSHIP, not to mention you are UP TO YOUR GILLS in CHARISMA. Of course, that also isn't particularly important, especially if your kismesis has her way and manages to overhaul the hemospectrum and troll society in general. If you didn't hate her so much, you'd probably be the best of friends. If she keeps you out of leadership though you might have to kill her. Or kiss her. Same difference.
Those HEIR APPARENT plans will probably never come to fruition, though, because as previously mentioned you and your entire species is evidently doomed. Happy glubbing Wriggling Day, Karkat.
What gifts have you gotten your kismesis, Karkat?
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No one must ever know.
======> Be Karkat
Karkat: Update Shipping Chart
You KNEW Edarin wasn't right to auspisticize between Troll Jayne and Troll Simon, he wouldn't do that to Troll Mal and Troll Inara. But somehow you didn't see THIS twist coming. For such a glubbing half-witted, brine-sucking, bulge-chaffing moron, Eridan has his occasional moments of genius.
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You've been meticulously charting every romance, both canon and in Eridan's fic. Which might as WELL be canon it's so glubbing in character.
Karkat: Update Shipping Chart
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GLUBBING...
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Is...
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This...
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> Be the magnum opus.
==> tranquility Chapter 56 "I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight High off of love, drunk from my hate, It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate And right before I'm about to drown, he resuscitates me He fucking hates me and I love it." --Troll Robert Frost ----- Azure-tinted eyes meet chartreuse across the room, narrowed with disgust...and regret. Shame raises the color on his high, pale cheekbones and he looks away, biting his lip. "I cannot continue this," he laments, voice awash with earnest grief. "I may find your every action repugnant, your very presence grating against my senses like a scratchy recording of a cholerbear in heat played at double-time against a backdrop of atonal subjugglator hymns, but even you don't deserve...less than my full fidelity." "Gorram highblood fancytalk," Troll Jayne growls irritably as he stalks closer. "Always gotta make a big production outta everything, don'tcha? Can't just tussle over a bucket an be done with it, no, you gotta go on and on about how repulsive I am." He moves in close, flicking out an obsidean-bladed knife and holding it to the cerulean-blooded troll's neck. He wouldn't kill the doctor, they both knew that, just as they knew the ship's medic wouldn't kill the crew's muscle or take advantage of his weakened state when injured. They both knew that, but still the thrill remained of knowing how much luscious pain they could and would cause the other, never going too far but still challenging the other to plumb new depths of strength and endurance. "Here's a news flash, doc: I know what a ruttin catch I am. So let's clam up the chatter and get to the tusslin." Troll Simon shoved him away, upper lip curling away from his fangs, unable to suppress his baser instincts in the wake of such openly ebony flirtations. "Troll Jayne, you don't understand!" he cries. "Not that I would expect otherwise from such a microscopic-thinkpanned hun dan, but this is important!" He ducked his head to the side in emotional anguish, lower lip bitten between pearly fangs. "Troll Jayne...I have feelings for another." "Another what?" Troll Jayne demands, praying Troll Simon doesn't mean what he thinks it sounds like he means. Troll Simon throws his hands up in disgust and sneered at the viridian-blooded tower of pestulent abhorrence still holding that damn obsidian blade like a suitor in a highblood romance drama. "I'm talking about infidelity, you thickheaded fuckass! I can't fully hate you because my hate is being split in two." Unable to hold himself back any further, Edarin expeditiously rushes into the room, flinging his arms wide with hands stretched out to both of the other trolls imploringly. "No! I cannot allow this atrocity! On account a you two were made to hate each other! i'we seen your loathin an it's some a the purest, stygian-deep malewolence i ewer saw." He turned to the sapphire-blood and grabbed his hands, staring deeply into the sable depths of his eyes as he clutches those hands to his chest. "Troll Simon, I'll auspistice for you. ill pawe your path so thick with ash you'll newer thing to stray. Just name the troll causin a divergence in your onyx affections! Name them and ill stand between you such that your beryl-rimmed ocular orbs newer stray from your true, fated kismesis." Troll Simon gasps and heaves his digits from Edarin's grip and extracts his scalpelkind strife specibus. "I can't! Oh Edarin, how I wish I could accept your selfless offer. Ever since you joined our crew you have been the missing piece holding us together that we never knew we needed until we had you. But in this...I'm afraid you have no place. Your request is impossible." Feeling a dark ichor welling inside of himself at being so denied, Edarin drew his own specibus, silvery twin pistols that gleamed with menace in the dim light of the dining area. "You misunderstand, Troll Simon...it was not a request!" "It is YOU who misunderstand, Edarin," Troll Simon growls, lithe muscles tensing in preparation. Though in preparation for what, none could yet be sure. "You cannot auspistice for me. It is quite impossible for a troll to auspistice between another troll...and themself." Eyes growing wide in disbelief, Edarin allowed his guard to drop for only a second, but that second is just enough time for an aroused Troll Simon to slip past his defenses and slash at him with his scalpel. Edarin dudges backward just in time to avoid bloodshed, but finds himself falling back to the hard metal floor when Troll Simon throws himself at him. Troll Simon lunged at him and they fell unchecked to the frigid, unyielding floor, grapling for dominence. Their sable passions risingt o cloak them in its in its velvety embrace, they think nothing of their abrupt first steps in a caliginous waltz until their third companion makes his presense known again. "What the ruttin hell?!!" bellows troll jayne, only to howl in pained indignation when eridan steals Troll Simon's weapon and stab him in the boot with it. He knocks Edarin's hand away and shakes his leg until the scalpel works free and clatters to the ground, then he kicks out and catches T. Simon in the flank with the the blunt rigidity of his thick boots and then throwing himself at them both. The trio becomes a writhing mass of dusky intent, punching and biting and raising a rainbow of bruises and swimming one the tide of caliginity, understanding in a shining moment of darkest clarity that they are made for each other,fated by destiny to to hate each other, a kismesisitude written in the stars set glimmeringin the black. ==>