Welp. Today was a busy week, huh?
Let’s start with Zayn’s INZAYNLY AWESOME idea of writing a comic book based on his own album - take THAT reviews that said he had no concept behind it! The first panel of the story is a man in a white car speeding away from a man with purple eyes and white pupils (REALLY creepy btw), and it reads, “A madman has been chasing me for the past hour. When I go faster, he comes closer”. I am intrigued! I hope that this is some sort of enemies to lovers type thing, but knowing these guys, its strictly horror/suspense. This is being presented in video form, so the panels are moving figures and they are scored with songs from the album, which I assume is how the rest of the panels will also be presented. You can watch these two panels with the songs “Calamity” and “Better” over on YouTube for the full effect! Also, Zayn’s last listening party was today and he was the DJ! “DJ Malik”, he said in a sentimental throwback to his boyband days. He and his team had a great time throwing airhorns into the the listening party and then they did a “from Dusk Til Dawn “ encore, which I’m sure means Zayn wants us to be streaming NIL from Dusk Til Dawn!
To keep the party going, Paul Roberts, TPWK and longtime 1D choreographer, had a chat with the BBC about working with Harry and Phoebe (WB) on the music video. He knew right away, he said, that everyone from 1D could be a great dancer if they really wanted to be, and, ten years later, he finally got the chance to test the theory! Spoiler alert: he was RIGHT! Harry had seen Phoebe in Fleabag on the West End and got on with her from the word go, and so the idea came about. “It was about three weeks before the world started to burn”, he says about the filming of the video,“We didn’t know how lucky we were”.
Finally, let’s CHAT: it’s stunt timeeeeee!! Today is, of course, Freddie’s birthday, which meant the usual round of pictures stolen from social media from the Tomlinson sisters, silence from Louis, and birthday pics from the Clarks. Including a picture of a sonogram posted by Briana that was taken on August 3rd, 2015 (Louis confirmed the baby on the very next day on GMA). This sonogram is notable BECAUSE - drumroll pleasseeeee - it was taken at a FERTILITY CLINIC which specialized in surrogacy and IVF. So this is a clinic that only treats people who cannot have children naturally. To make matters more interesting, the clinic does not do non-client visits, and they did not do them in 2015. You simply could not go to this clinic if you had an accidental pregnancy because those are not the kinds of clients served by this clinic! I mean, if nothing else, this shows that Briana did not get accidentally pregnant by Louis, if she was pregnant at all. Likely, it was another fucked up photoshop job, where they switched Tammi’s name for hers and just forgot to change the name of the clinic. Sighhh. We knew this, of course, but WOW does this prove it concretely, huh? Anyways, I cannot BELIEVE that they are still fucking up THIS BADLY five years later, but uh. Yeah. Happy Birthday, Freddie, hope you got more than an apple this year!
But that’s not the ONLY stunt that’s becoming faker and faker: Fauxlivia is proving itself to be nothing but the cash, and the cars, and the glory…and the pretty clothes, apparently! Turns out, Olivia is a brand ambassador for La Ligne in much the same way that H works for Gucci. She’s been featured on their instagram many MANY times, and has, thus far, worn their clothes for no fewer than TWO of the Holivia pap walks. Strangely enough, though, when this whole stunt began to manifest in late October, HARRY began featuring on their Instagram page as well. Totally Organically, of course, considering that they’d never talked about him before! That AND: the pink beanie that H was wearing in their dumb af Parking Lot Pap Walk has ALSO been idenfied to be La Ligne, which I’m sure he Just Decided to begin wearing and it had NOTHING to do with Jeff being Right There and them having promoted Gucci together at Jeff’s wedding. Mhmmmmm they’ve convinced me they’re TOTALLY in love. Celebrities that promo together, stay together, after all! (Oh, is that not the saying?)
Meanwhile, Liam’s Final Act merch has been delayed, and he has asked people to “contact him when they get it” (Harry’s team could NEVER), and JC Stewart called Niall “one of the nicest guys in music”. I’m sure he agrees! And, Niall has his own little discourse today - so much for him not creating any drama, huh? There were some shirtless pics of him posted by an ~source~ where he seems to have been working out (Niall has ABS now??) and is arranging a stack of boxes that read “nude” (just like Niall, huh?). UAs battled it out whether or not these pics should have been posted because he did not know they were being taken and there’s ETHICS involved, but Niall hangs out shirtless so much ANYWAYS that I bet he doesn’t mind.