Real facts about weighing 500 pounds
If you’re curious about what it’s like to tip the scales over 400 and 500 pounds, you’re not alone. If you’re on the fence about gaining or wondering but have never been brave enough to ask, here are some points to ponder.
1. People won’t care as much as you think.
The #1 worry-question I get asked all the time is wrapped up in fear. There seems to be a lot more worth wrapped up in people’s value judgements than we are prepared to accept. I can’t tell you everyone will be nice about being obese, but I can tell you that most people won’t care at all.
2. You will be fat all the time
Being supersized, or having a partner who is, isn’t a weekend fetish thing. Airline economy seats are out. Ladders, bending into tight spaces for repairs, or long mountain climbs aren’t going to happen. When you must hoist 500 pounds every time you get out of a chair, it’s going to have some restrictions.
Some people are OK with this, and some not. It’s no different than any other choice people make for themselves-for example, lets say: some people have cats, some people have kids, some people gain weight. There are elements that are annoying with each of these choices. You have to make life changes around them and spend money but you get to choose what’s right for you. (I know they’re not mutually exclusive. It’s just an example. Try to not overthink it.)
3. You could be really happy
Nobody tells you this, but being attractive is not dependent on the size of your waistline or size of your bank account. There are going to be over 8 billion of us in the near future. You really owe it to yourself to find someone who supports you and you’re attracted to and v.versa. It’s not about being picky, it’s about having standards.
Because you should. They are the best.
5. Maths, contrasts and cooking
If you don’t learn to cook, if you don’t stay on top of physicals, you are probably going to be surprised by a health crisis no matter what you weigh. Some people do run into heart trouble and diabetes at 400 and 500 pounds. It’s mathematically more probable. But some don’t. My partner is over 40 years old and over 500 pounds and all he has is sleep apnea. (That’s an anecdote, not data, for those of you who understand how science works.) Your milage may vary.
Learn to cook and be mature about yourself at any size. That’s just good advice and will keep you better prepared for making decisions whatever comes your way.
6. Being over 500 pounds isn’t cheap. Talk to a good financial planner.
For all the worry and medical questions I get, I’m going to add the one nobody is asking: How do I afford to be over 500 pounds?
I travel quite a bit but I haven’t encountered a single place yet on this planet where the cost of living is going down. Talk to someone who can help you plan financially for the future you want. You might be surprised by how even a tiny monthly contribution can compound (fancy word for ‘build’) over a lifetime.
7. Being authentic can be a chore
There are some things you can hide about yourself but tipping the scales over 400 and 500 pounds isn’t one of them. There are no two size 5XL/16XL that are the same measurements so clothes can be a challenge. There is no way to stop people passing judgements when you don’t fit in a tight spot. It’s not right for people to feel free to make shameful judgements about a person’s body but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
Remember that you don’t need other people to approve of your eating habits or body size. You don’t owe people an explanation, and when you do choose to explain, try to do so with care. Understanding isn’t an equally distributed resource.
8. Squishy bodies are for loving
Packing on pounds doesn’t happen overnight. Some bodies genetically run larger than others. (Genetics have ruined more diets than the pizza delivery guy.) Having a generous layer of fat is a feature many people find very loveable and sexy.
Socially, most people who agree feel the need to keep their feelings quite introverted. I think with a little care, we can remove a lot of the freak stigmatization around ‘chubby chasers,’ explain that fat partners are wonderful partners, not ‘Meh, the best they could do,’ and fat relationships are just as sexy as any other.
9. Restrictions vs. immobile
There are a lot of factors that go into mobility issues. Most people don’t like being quite that vulnerable. But there’s a place for everybody on the spectrum. When my partner was recovering from a knee injury at 400 pounds, he was far less mobile than he is now over 500 pounds. My friend in her 30s at 130 pounds with RA is less mobile than my partner.
Know that weight is in no way the single factor on mobility. Despite what reality TV shows would have you believe. Facts vs. fantasy.
Yes, at 500 pounds you will get winded with simple tasks. Yes, you will eat out of your clothes and into larger sizes. Yes, your fat will grow in places you expect and places you don’t. But most people don’t eat themselves into immobility.
Only you can know the correct answer to this question. What does success look like for you? How much are you prepared to do to achieve your goals? (It’s easy to find a cheeseburger in America. It takes more effort to talk with your partner about how good your fat rolls make you feel.)
Think and be honest with yourself. If you choose to gain weight, do it for the right reasons.
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