[1m-g0ne]

As I sit in the wreckage that was once my life

I realize I will be alone

forever

Because if it doesn’t get ruined

I will ruin it myself

[1m-g0ne]

He was almost everything I asked for

And I’m never asking for anything ever again

I was loved, without a doubt

And I got to love for real this time

But I couldn’t trust him

So it all fell apart

[1m-g0ne]

Should’ve known

Not like I get to hear that stuff when your sober

[1m-g0ne]

If you’re not as obsessed with me as I am with you, it will never work

[1m-g0ne]

He’s my favourite person

And as someone without bpd he will never understand what that means

And that’s fine, he doesn’t owe me anything

But it’s really dysregulating

And with the withdrawals it’s got me fucked up

And either I have to cut ties

Or make this a learning experience

Teach myself how to break the bond while maintaining a friendship

So I get to feel insane the whole time

And feel like all I do is bother him

It makes me feel small

Maybe it’s better if I just make it stop

[1m-g0ne]

You make me feel like a stupid little girl

And I do not miss that feeling

[1m-g0ne]

No matter what

We would never work

We’re too different

I love you and you love me

But those look like two very different things

[1m-g0ne]

You drive me fucking insane

And it’s not your fault

But it is my problem

[1m-g0ne]

And now I realize

I was his favourite person

And you never stopped being mine

[1m-g0ne]

You make me feel fucking insane

[1m-g0ne]

The reason Love means nothing to me is because even when someone loves you they can justify doing horrible things to you, because despite what they did they still love you right? and that should be enough right?

Because for me love had meant,

Being used for anything from money to sex to emotional support at my expense,

It meant being abused and raped,

It meant giving everything I had to them and that still not being enough, because without them I was nothing, because unless they could benefit from me I didn’t mean anything to them,

The only reason they told me they loved me was so I didn’t go away, so I would turn a blind eye to everything they did, never will I let my love be so blind again, never will I let myself become less than human to fit into someone’s life

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[peepline]

“Sleeping is nice until you wake up and realize that you are still in pain.”

[sustancy]

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[1m-g0ne]

Sometimes I close my eyes and I feel him,

Laying on top of me,

Crushing me,

suffocating me,

His sweat dripping down on me,

I feel so dirty but no matter how hard I scrub the feel of him it won’t go away,

I just want it to stop,

To never feel him again

[misshaped-hearts-deactivated202]

i don't feel like myself anymore

i am a miserable shell with nothing left inside, and the emptiness is crushing