aqua

tw: ed relapse. 21. ugw 40/88 cw 80/177. sw 90/200. active 111.23

[1ridescentb0nes]

the urge to kys and make other people feel bad is so strong this time of year

[1ridescentb0nes]

starting back up. i don’t know if im being super sensitive but i just realized one of my friends has never once complimented me. like she’s compliment an outfit or an specific part of my make up but never me.

she compliments our other friends all the time. she’ll call them sexy and hot and pretty. she’ll say “your body is tea” and loves to make jokes about big back behaviour.

i need to get real i’m always convincing myself this isn’t the way. no other way has worked. and when i stopped i ruined myself. i can’t let go of this again.

[1ridescentb0nes]

fuck a reward system the reward is the weight you lost. be grateful.

[1ridescentb0nes]

my grocery hauls when i finally move out

[1ridescentb0nes]

i’m once again back. the depression got so bad i lost sight of my motivation. but now that it’s even worse starving to feel something is so appealing 😽

[1ridescentb0nes]

i love when i develop a crush, it’s like a free boost of motivation

[ultraskinnyiswinning]

Oh to be pretty and dying again

[1ridescentb0nes]

punishing myself because i failed a fast. it’s either i punish myself or i kay em ess because this fuck up is actually destroying me. i hate myself so much.

PUT DOWN THE FORK YOU STUPID FAT BITCH THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU.

[1ridescentb0nes]

worst part of an ed: shitting

WHY IS IS LIQUID.

it’s like. liquid or nothing and both are equally as uncomfortable.

[blissfulwrongs]

your cw will drop.

just a couple more hours.

[dietsnsmokes]

looking for more 18+ edblr mutuals reblog if you’re active and 18+!!

i feel uncomfortable following minors and am looking for more moots :)

active: august 2023

[1ridescentb0nes]

finally get to take my own pic of the iconic meal

[1ridescentb0nes]

summer is an eating disorders worst enemy. i can’t till fall.

[ethernalpetite]

it’s sad how easy it is to fall back into dangerous habits

[1ridescentb0nes]

i love when i end up fasting by accident :3

the clock hits 7pm and all of a sudden it feels like a bet.

can you make it to the end of the day with no food?

DUH.

[hugrted]

[1ridescentb0nes]

got some stories from last night (i remember none of this): i cried when they tried to give me cake but i ate it when it was fed to me so my friend sat there and spoon fed me cake (i am very embarrassed i don’t think i can face him ever again) apparently they played a kpop song (my friend doesn’t remember which one) and i went wild and did the dance in the middle of a crowd in the living room. (i might actually never show my face in public again) and at the end of the night my friend rolled a blunt and we smoked it and on the way home (dw we had a dd) we stopped for pizza and i got two vegetarian slices (the only mildly okay thing i did last night). anyway now i have to go to the movies with the friend that fed me cake and i’m so tempted to cancel but then that would be the second time i’m cancelling and no one else in the friend group wants to watch “talk to me” with him. so i’m going. he better be grateful (i owe him immensely for taking care of me last night)