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welcome to my jpeg & mp3 diary
i know iām just in a bad mood but this push to re-categorize every kind or moral human action as inherently punk and cool is fucking cringe because youāre showing your ass about your priorities. as a visibly alt queer myself, who gives a FUCK if being nice is āpunkā? just be nice because itās nice. iām not giving you special scene brownie points for it?? and you donāt even listen to punk music or care about the history? so why do you care about being āpunkā?? IM GOING CRAZY
this is why the idea of identifying this essence of queer cinema as an elevated festival film is more and more boring to me like. Weāll talk about Cheryl dunye in film theory classes but no one ever mentions that she has spent the past decades since the watermelon women directing for commercial television. Iāve been assigned the watermelon woman for two different classes and every time itās been taught as an auteur film and they kind of imply that she just made that one film and retired. Turns out sheās been directing like lovecraft country and hunting wives and Bridgerton episodes the whole time? But that like is not acceptably queer theory for people so they kind of just act like she died
It reminds me how people assume wicked is just slop because itās commercial and discount the involvement of Cynthia erivo and Marissa bode and Bowen Yang and Paul tazewell (and the 10 million other white gay people). Or when people thought āunder the bridgeā was copaganda and just assumed that Lily Gladstone was uncritically playing an indigenous cop character even though that so clearly went against pretty much every political principle theyāve expressed as a public figure. And then it turned out the show was actually very critical of cops and Lily Gladstoneās character was adopted in the sixties scoop and that was a major part of the plotline. Or like when my friends from college wouldnāt go see crazy rich Asians with me because āthey didnāt like capitalismā even though it was a landmark film for Asian Americans in the film industry.
Thereās this sort of paternalism I notice from (usually white usually uni educated) leftists where they assume queer bipoc are less capable of moral and intellectual discernment if they choose to engage with somerhing commercial. Which I think is part of a much bigger conversation about the sustainability of the arts and culture for people of color where they are less likely to have a social/financial safety net. Cynthia Erivo has actually spoke very openly about this wrt to RADA not letting her do commercial projects in drama school to pay for her tuition because it was backing vocals and they thought it was beneath her or something.
Like I would have loved to know that Cheryl Dunye had a successful commercial career directing for television after the watermelon woman and I think it would have absolutely affected how I read the film. And I think it would be important for people to see it was possible for Black queer women to have a sustainable future in the film industry especially because the film is very much engaging with the idea of erasure. And when Iāve watched other movies for class that are read and taught as auteur movies theyāll usually talk about the directorās other work. But I do get the vibe people kind of prefer her as a sort of bohemian martyr who made this one incredible film and then never worked again
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HELL OF A SUMMER (2023) dir. Finn Wolfhard, Billy Bryk
im actually so tired of unrequited love, self acceptance, coming out scenes, and chaste epilogue partners being part and parcel of a gay character in a mainstream show's arc. especially when it's not a feature of most of the other straight characters' romance arcs. it actually shouldnt be too much to ask that you treat your gay characters the same way you treat your straight ones.
like genuinely i can not wrap my fucking head around not letting robin and vickie have a proper romance arc if will getting a romance arc wasnt the point. why did we drag this out. why didnt we let him get a new love interest in california, or back in season 3. it's actually such bullshit that they sidelined robin and vickie so hard for fucking nothing. of ANYTHING we deserved to see that, AUGH im so fucking frustrated by this, i just dont understand the POINT.
how do you just get up and deal with the fact that thereās a last time for everything. there was a last time you sat on your dads shoulders and there was a last time your mom tucked you into bed. thereās going to be a last time you kiss your sister on the head and thereās going to be a last time you hug your best friend. thereās going to be a last time you feel exactly as you feel right now and thereās going to be a last time that person says i love you. i need to lay down
Iain Thomas, The Light That Shines When Things End
the benoit blanc movies show really beautifully how to write a queer character whose story is not centered around their queerness. it's shown that benoit blanc is gay married (to hugh grant!) it's shown that he participates in queer mediums like musical theater and fashion, but none of those things are ever explicitly remarked on. he doesn't have a big coming out scene because he doesn't need one; and the subtle details about him not speaking to his mother, the way he associates a church with homophobia, allows us to draw conclusions about how his family felt about his queerness without making that the sole conflict in his story. the conflict in benoit blanc's story is not that he exists in the world as a gay person, it's that he's always trying to wrangle a bunch of 30 somethings into not confessing to crimes they didn't commit
THIS. So much "casual representation" is actually lazy representation. Mentioning queerness then forgetting about it.
But Benoit Blanc loves musicals. Benoit Blanc loves fashion. Benoit Blanc had a tense relationship with his mother. Benoit Blanc feels uncomfortable in churches.
"Casual representation" doesn't mean "mention it once then never again". It means "write a queer character that makes sense". "Write how a queer character walks around the world when they're doing other things."
Ethan Hawke for CBS Sunday Morning