Two Thousand and Thirteen Taglines from 1993

Before Twitter, pithy people on the Internet expressed themselves through taglines on their Usenet and BBS posting. As a fourteen year old, I downloaded multiple lists of "~~THE BEST TAGLINES~~" into text files, which I recently found on a ZIP disc. Here they are. Think of this as "trending topics" from twenty years ago. SPOILER: it's mostly Star Trek and Monty Python.

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Iraqi rifle for sale. Never fired. Dropped once.

Ha ha, take THAT Saddam Hussein. If there is one thing everyone knew in 1993, it was that America could waltz into Iraq any damn time they please, with no loss of AMERICAN life.

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More like Woody Woodpecker with a perm!

No clue.

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The fecal material has hit the air circulating device.

You could only say "shit" after 10pm on the Internet back in 1993.

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Why yes, they are Bugle Boy beans.

Is this a fart joke or a typo?

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Trek Classic -- Who Needs Another Generation?

An Endtimes tagline. 

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The no-mind not-thinks no-thoughts about no-things.

Not this no am not a not Bizzaro untagline!

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Electric chairs are period furniture: they end a sentence

Not sure if this counts as a conservative tagline in favor of capital punishment or not. An enigmatic tagline!

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If Clinton is the answer, the question must be stupid.

Who was the Ron Paul of 1993? Was it Ross Perot?

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If at first you don't succeed, call it Ver 1.0.

An evergreen.

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If At First You Don't Succeed Ignore The Docs

The doctors? The documents? The documentarians?

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Windows is to OS/2 as Etch-A-Scetch is to Art.

Man, remember OS/2? Can you believe it was marketed until 2001, and they didn't pull the plug on support for it until 2006? Amazing.

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There is one God, but which one is He?

OR SHE. OR SHE. Come on, 1993.

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I'm mooning you now, you just can't see me.

While probably true most of the time, by 1993 CU-SeeMe had already been introduced, so it's likely there had been at least one visible Internet mooning. A moon may have even been the "Mr. Watson - Come here - I want to see you." of webcam technology. 

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DOS means never having to live hand-to-mouse

A... pro-Micro$oft tagline? Amazing if true.

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He's DEAD, Jim. Tell the Klingons that dinner is served.

More disgusting Klingonophobia, perpetuating 22nd c. myths that Klingons are frightening, flesh-eating Others. WE HAVE A KLINGON LIEUTENANT COMMANDER NOW, GET WITH THE MODERN TIMES.

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If "R" is Reverse, how come "D" is FORWARD?

Because D is "Drive".

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I'm a brain in a vat. Are you one too?

On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog.