21 and counting...

My name is Aaliyah. This blog to allow me to speak freely and hopefully other young women could relate to the struggle and joys of being 21 and counting

[21-andcounting]

So today I am going to talk about emotions.

They are apart of life and I have accepted that but things happen and they affect you in ways that you sometimes you don't know the full extent of a scenario impacting you. So I was talking to my friend about the fact that you may start you day good and happy and by the end by consumed with another emotion and I think it's important to do check in throughout the day so that you know how you feel and you get the oppurtunity to question any adverse feeling and choose if you want to feel something different or continue to explore that feeling for the day

Feelings checking in should be normal..randomly today just ask yourself how are we feeling rn and explore that for like 10 minutes even

[21-andcounting]

A good vibe on a Saturday

[21-andcounting]

Endo sometimes means good days

Endo sometimes means bad days

Endo means gaining 20lbs in 2 weeks

Endo means changing your relationship with pain

Endo is not you.

You are the mf that dealing with ur shit

[21-andcounting]

Chronic fatigue is kicking ass

AN ESSAY

[21-andcounting]

My next post will be about more raw content about being 21 and going through menopause

[21-andcounting]

Also tonight is a pain night but smiling through it doh😊

[21-andcounting]

Loving myself has been the most empowering journey that I went on. I always heard people talk about it but to be 21 and truly hear myself speak and understand myself and give myself the time and space to figure out myself.....as been so mentally rewarding

After years of self hate and embarrassment to be me and insecurities...

I can genuinely say I love the 21 year old woman that had the courage to write this blog and whose words you are reading right now

My advice...be gentle with yourself, give yourself the space to grow, relapse is normal, be kind to you...

If you give your friends and family and significant other love, kindness and understanding...why dont you deserve the same?

[21-andcounting]

Let's address the elephant in the room that everyone feels they cab comment on

"I GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT"

Ok. It is out there now.

What I dont get is why people think a constant reminder of that fact is going to magically make my weight disappear. Why do you feel the innate need to talk about my weight?

I have 3 conditions that predispose me to gain weight in a matter of seconds and lose weight in months.

WHO TF ARE YOU? Keep your opinions of my weight to yourself.

I loveeeee my body. I have never felt more confident. You do not get to degrade me for the one thing that makes me smile.

DO NOT COMMENT ON PEOPLE BODY

SHUT THE FUCK UP

[posiviibes]

[21-andcounting]

And sometimes its needed❤❤❤❤❤❤

No shame in the mental health game

[21-andcounting]

Tonighttttt we allowing the anger to take front.

Everything feels like a mess and that is okay

We feeeling these fucking feelings

[21-andcounting]

Today i am sad

I originally made this blog to try and be a positive light in the endo community and in some ways shed a light on myself about my diagnosis but it is so hard to be happy or positive sometimes. It truly is draining when it feels like a life of endless medications, doctors visits and just so much fucking opinions and advice.

The trauma of a condition like this takes a lot of a person who is trying very hard to make sure the people around them are "comfortable"

I'm hurt

I'm also tired of hiding my pain

Tonight to anybody hurting or feeling alone please know you arent. Alone is the weird creep that tries to make the situation feel worse. You are not alone

[21-andcounting]

Why I have a fear of doctors?

As some of you may realize i got diagnosed younger than the average endo patient and for that i am grateful.

I was only diagnosed so early because my current doctor pushed for me and tried his best to educate me in short space of time.

When my symptoms were at its peak, i could not talk, walk or think during a bad endo day but i soon started realizing that it went beyond my period... I was in pain every day just some worse than others but i thought it was normal..i was suffering since 11.

My first doctor experience when it came to this...she didnt even bring up endo, she was heavily concerned with a dermoid cyst i had in one of my ovaries and attempted to make me feel guilty for not going the route of surgery. Ony to later find out sis was only rushing me to surgery because all she saw with me was a large pay check.

The next doctor experience i had that was horrible... he completely disregarded me and made me out to look like i was being dramatic and crazy. He did not take me seriously at all and it wasnt for the referral i went with...would have probably sent me home. Only after my surgery... did all of sudden become interested in me what I was going through because all he kept going on about was the fact that i was a “a rare presentation of endo”

it is difficult for me to put my trust in doctors because i never know who is being genuine about wanting to help me or if i am just another case study or science experiment.

As i go through my journey I will talk about where I am in this. I do have an amazing doctor, who fought for me and cared about me but with Corona I am gonna need another sooooo wish me luck

[21-andcounting]

The lupron/lectrum injection

listennnn

this should is the craziest shit ever. The symptoms are are mad. 21 with induced menopause.

how do you bring this up with men that you are dating?

Btw this trash and i am also annoyed by the fact that the side effects wasnt gone through in detail. all that was said was, “menopause like symptoms” 

TF. So explain the constant headaches, the nausea, the memory problems and the depression. This is fucking annoying

i would also like to say fuck endo belly

[21-andcounting]

learning to love my quirks

One of the first things I have been appreciating lately is my quirky, weird personality and my outlook on life. I think about the most random and weirdest outcomes, my perspective always feels so different from the rest, i am an empath and always get shy saying perspective.

and ik i am not the only one that feels that way but i have learnt that my inputs are important not just for the conversation but for my voice to be out there.

my answers are not less than.

my words are discomfort to society 

i speak for me and my thoughts and anybody thats too afraid to say what i have to say

Loving yourself is legitimately the hardest but most fruitful journey you will ever embark on and I intend to really get into that journey on this page

[21-andcounting]

Parent: You are only 21 what do you have to worry about?

Me: Everythingggggg

[21-andcounting]

Why am I starting a tumblr?

I started this blog for several reasons:

I dont feel represented in media and im sure there are people like me that feel the same way

Im 21 counting and in the early stages of journey into becoming a woman and i feel like i want to share what i have learnt to help somebody along the way

wanted to share without limits....every other social media platform feels like there are social limits to what can be shared and i just want to share me

I am a unique growing woman, with a unique set of life circumstances that make me who you are seeing today

I represent endometriosis, youth, struggling to stay happy, university, becoming a lawyer, being an older sibling and sooo much more that i havent seen anywhere that really makes me feel apart of the media.

I hope you enjoy this journey