Denial Permanente

Middle aged, married, and monogamous Goddess to my strong, masculine husband. Since April 2018 I have kept him permanently locked in a tight stainless steel cage, 24/7/365. He writes the captions, and I keep him inspired. FAQ: https://denial-permanente.tumblr.com/post/669949473478295552/questions-and-answers "Come for the hot captions, stay for the education."

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Questions and Answers

This post has links to some of the more commonly asked questions about how we got started, how things developed for us, and what our life is like.

How does Tom handle being locked up for so long?

Who's idea was it?

How does your husband keep you satisfied?

Does he really keep you satisfied that way?

How did you become comfortable with this?

How do you deal with illnesses?

Does Tom still initiate even though he is permanently locked?

Do you feel bad when you get to come so much and he does not?

Does Tom feel like he has sacrificed anything by being locked?

Do you feel that your husband has been emasculated by this?

Should I get a larger dildo for me wife to try?

Are you worried that denial will be bad for him?

Does your husband worry about health risks?

Doesn't he lose motivation?

Do you ever unlock him?

How can I get my wife to do this?

What was his reaction when you told him it was going to be permanent?

Don't you miss how he feels?

Do you play with others?

How long did it take you to get to permanent?

What is your favorite aspect of this?

Does your husband ever regret what he gave up?

What about shrinking?

What cage does he wear?

Do you have any tips for getting started?

Do either of you feel like you have sacrificed something to make this work?

Can I send you a picture of my cage?

Are you sure you don't want to see my cage?

How do you feel intimate with just a faux cock?

When did you realize that this is what you really wanted?

What would you do if your husband really wanted to be unlocked?

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[mrs--edge]

Hi Mrs Edge,

I'm the woman who wrote you a few days ago about my husband and I and our chastity journey after he cheated (call me "Kate").

I just want to be clear (since I'm not sure I did so well the first time) that locking him wasn't done as a punishment and we did it after sorting through the cheating issue and attending couples counseling.

After all that we both felt like we were in a good place, that maybe our marriage was even stronger for the counseling. But I told him I had this lingering fear that it could happen again. Because the way it went down was sort of a spontaneous thing. That's when he brought up chastity. He said that it was something that turned him on anyway and then I wouldn't have to worry anymore. Again I thought it was weird at first but now I've come to really enjoy the lifestyle.

For me though it was important to do this as much as possible without the "kink" factor, I try to treat it as normal that he does not have access to his cock. I don't bring it up ever and I don't touch him except for cleaning,

To him maybe this IS part of the kink, I think it makes him extra crazy that his cock has become a non-factor. But also it means that during sex he is totally focused on me, because his cock is entirely out of the equation.

Wow, again! 🤣

First, thank you for clarifying. Also, I'm so happy that you and your husband are able to work through this and stay together. I honestly hope this all works out for you both.

As another woman who really is not interested in all the kinky stuff, I love how you've managed to take something weird like this and turn it into your own thing. I think I understand the appeal for you in treating his penis like it doesn't even exist, and being so casual in your turning down his requests for relief. This is one of those "be careful what you wish for" fantasies so many men in this community seem to have taken to the extreme!

My husband sometimes has similar fantasies about my being "nonchalant" or "dispassionate" or "matter of fact" about his denial. Which is a good thing because in many ways that's exactly how it is for me. His being locked is "just how things are now" and that's how I think about it. Or don't think about it. You know what I mean 😅.

For me, the real turn on is knowing that I have the power and control, and how his denial makes him focus on me and my pleasure, even when we're not in bed.

You have obviously found a way to make this work for you and I sincerely hope that you can use this to reach a place of even deeper intimacy and love with your husband. I'm sure you value your privacy but if you want to chat more about this, please feel free to DM me. ❤️ 🔐

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@tom--allen It's still hot, isn't it? ❤️🔒

[mrs--edge]

Hello Mrs Edge! My husband showed me your blog last year and I have read so much about your and your husband that I feel like I know you! Like you we are an older couple and didn't get into this kinky stuff until much later. In our case we really did have a good sex life with each other until "the change" came. I know it affects women differently but in my case it was horrible! It felt like several years of mood swings and hot flashes and then an almost total loss of my libido. My husband was as supportive as he could be but my lack of desire finally got to him and he started watching a lot of porn. I was upset even though I didn't really blame him. And that's how we got here.

He showed me some of the dominatrix porn he liked and told me that sometimes he imagined that instead of my not having any libido that I was intentionally denying him sex. It took me a while to wrap my head around this but that led to him buying a few different chastity cages to try them out. We had some good luck with him being able to wear one of them and I took the keys. Even though I still wasn't really in the mood for sex I played along holding his keys and making him "earn" an unlocking. At first I just gave him the keys and let him go do his thing. When he was done, he cleaned up, then locked himself and handed me the keys.

After a while he asked if I would "take care of him" for a change. I was beginning to feel a little more comfortable with the idea so I did. He was so happy and so grateful! After a few more times I began to make it a weekly ritual. I still was not in the mood for any sex but I did enjoy giving my husband pleasure and it helped smooth over some of the rough patches we had. I began to look forward to our unlocked time together and I actually found myself getting mad at him if he failed to earn his weekly unlocking. I felt like he was failing me!

After a couple of years of this at some point I started feeling like I might be ready to have him pleasure me for a change. I told him that he could only be unlocked if he would go down on me and make me come. You could have knocked him over with a feather, but he jumped at the chance and actually made me come twice! That began my journey back to enjoying sex again, even though it looks different than it used to.

I still keep him locked and make him "earn" his weekly release, and once in a while I like to tease him by saying that it wasn't good enough and that he will have to try again next week. We still don't have PIV, and probably never will because things just don't feel right down there. But we learned to use chastity and orgasm denial to make the most of what we have. I'm happy to have found your blog to see how you and other women have dealt with similar circumstances. Thanks for being a good influence!

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have been enjoying hearing from other women who have come around to denial and locking their men and who are using it to enhance their mareiages. It has been a surprise to me how many women have discovered this after they're older and especially after menopause.

I hope that your husband appreciates how you took to this and that this is your way of trying to allow him his fantasy while still working at maintaining your connection.

My husband tells me that a lot of men have a hard time coping with the... the lack of penetration or PIV sex. They haven't gone through the hot flashes, hormonal changes, mood swings and all that so they don't get why we just don't feel like spending all afternoon in bed now that the children are out of the house.

I like the way that you handled this by turning the unlocking into a weekly thing, but that you also maintained control by making him accountable so that his releases were never guaranteed.

Finally, I'm so happy to hear that your libido is coming back. A good sex life doesn't need to look the same for everybody, and if you and your husband are happy and connected then that's all that matters. Blessings for the both of you.

[that-tom-allen]

"A good sex life doesn't need to look the same for everybody, and if you and your husband are happy and connected then that's all that matters."

That's a really good way to put it. Our sex life doesn't look like what it did when we were dating or first married, but when we do have sex now, it is so much more intense and fulfilling. 🔒 💖

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