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@denial-permanente
Questions and Answers
This post has links to some of the more commonly asked questions about how we got started, how things developed for us, and what our life is like.
How does Tom handle being locked up for so long?
Who's idea was it?
How does your husband keep you satisfied?
Does he really keep you satisfied that way?
How did you become comfortable with this?
@tom--allen So true, isn't it? ❤️🔒
Hi, is there anyway tom could get his cage off without you knowing?, could he be having orgasms without you knowing?
Does your wife trust that you are not cheating on her when she is not with you?
I think a lot of you men treat being locked like it's some kind of game. Or that there's something wrong with some of you that you can't just... not play with yourselves or something like you're still a 14 year old.
My husband tells me when he removes his cage for the doctor or when he's traveling. Or sometimes if he thinks he needs to take it off when he's going for a really long bike ride.
Sure, he could get the spare key and unlock his cage anytime he wants.
If you are in a relationship you have to have some trust and that means you also have to be trustworthy. I can trust that he will lock back up when he gets to where he's flying to. I can trust that he will lock up after seeing the doctor. And I trust that he is not sneaking the key to play with himself when I'm not around.
This is not some game that we play. Yes we have fun, but my control over his being locked and his coming is just such a basic part of our relationship now that questions like this are just ridiculous to us.
I read in one of your other answers that if Tom one day regrets his permanent chastity sentence you have to be willing to continue to deny him. So if that day actually does come and Tom wants to be unlocked so bad will you let him? Or is there not turning back now?
I get asked this a lot and there are different levels to this question. If we were making love and he just blurted it out then I would definitely tell him No since I'd figure it's just the horniness getting to him. I mean, he's never done that but I could imagine it happening in the heat of the moment. But if he told me that over coffee or after dinner then I'd take him more seriously.
There's the fantasy aspect of what we do and then there's the real life aspect. I have been locking him up for long periods of time for almost 25 years. We both have always teased each other with fantasies of going for years or maybe forever. But now we are going into our 5th year of this and it has become a mental and emotional change for both Tom and I. Obviously a bit more for him but for me this has become such a normal way of life that I honestly don't even think about it. Him being caged is "just the way it is" now.
But along with him being caged goes some things that I don't think would remain if I unlocked him. He lives with this constant buzz of desire for me. He wakes up and spoons me every single morning. He holds me and spoons me every night to help me get to sleep. Even if he's in a bad mood from work all it takes is a minute of fondling his cage to change his attitude. And when we make love he is so totally focused on me and my pleasure in a way that I don't think would be possible if he were not caged permanently. He has learned to match his arousal to mine and when I'm finished he says that he feels satisfied. And when we aren't in bed (which really is most of the week) he is usually affectionate and attentive. There are so many good things that have come from this that you can understand why I would not want this to stop.
And I would have to consider how stopping this would affect my husband. He has gone through some periods where he says that the idea has been almost overwhelming to him, and I get that he has had to make the biggest mental and emotional adjustment for this. But he thanks me all the time for keeping him locked. Like just today I got a random text from him in the middle of the day telling me that he was thinking about me and how hot it has been that I'm still keeping him locked. He knows that he is living out our fantasy! If he asked to be unlocked would he regret it after a few weeks? I think he would.
So on some level I think that I'd have to deny him if he asked, not just because of how it would affect my life but also out of concern for his own happiness.
Probably if he really really wanted out we would have to have several conversations about it over a few weeks to make sure that was what he really wanted and was not just having an other spell where he feels overwhelmed. But I would also do my best to convince him to remain locked for me because I can see how good our relationship has been since we started this.