max in the house

[221b-bitchinstreet]

house's fuckass roommate. the irony is not lost on me. standing in the midst of a cluster of doctors (and a surprising amount of rats) i urge you to send me your medical questions because i can assure you that as a fourth year law student, i can and will answer them honestly and truthfully.

mod mo @inkybinkyboink (i follow back from this account too!)

if y'all have questions about max's backstory i implore you to ask because ive woven him into the house md fabric so carefully david shore wouldnt even be able to tell id inserted him.

ALSO

there's talk of drugs here. if that's not your thing, beware. i tag those posts with #tw drug mention if you want to block the tag : )

[221b-bitchinstreet]

red hot silly peppers

[markymarkhoffman]

daaaaaaaaaarrrrlinggg guess who's back from jaaaiiiiilllll. - @221b-bitchinstreet

Who are u again

u seem familiar im sorry sweetie

[221b-bitchinstreet]

idk some guy. whoever you wan t me to be. how's your hubby

[221b-bitchinstreet]

cough

[head-of-0ncology]

Don't worry, James! We're all busy! Do you know who everyone else is thinking about being for Halloween?

Thank you! :] I've had to keep my ears to the ground to make sure I don't repeat anyone's costumes. I think Cuddy is going as Scary God Mother. Not quite sure what that is, but she seems happy about it. I know Cameron is going to be Clarice from Silence of the Lambs, which did tick me off a little. I wanted to be Buffalo Bill, ha. Chase is Napoleon Dynamite. Foreman is going to be Austin Powers, but I think that's because he lost a bet. And god only knows what House is going to do. He wanted to be Frank-N-Furter while I was Rocky, but I don't really think I can pull off tiny shiny gold booty shorts.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

we could brad and janet

[head-of-0ncology]

That's not too shabby of an idea, Max. I got to know before I agree... Which of the two of us is which?

[221b-bitchinstreet]

okay well im janet obvi. duh.

[head-of-0ncology]

Dammit. (Janet) I wanted that one. Okay I suppose. We can't do the floorshow outfits though. Again, I'm not sure that I have the figure for it...

[221b-bitchinstreet]

oh, well then we can switch. you can be janet, that's okay. i'm just saying. i'm, like, not 6'4". could i be riff raff instead?

[head-of-0ncology]

Don't worry, James! We're all busy! Do you know who everyone else is thinking about being for Halloween?

Thank you! :] I've had to keep my ears to the ground to make sure I don't repeat anyone's costumes. I think Cuddy is going as Scary God Mother. Not quite sure what that is, but she seems happy about it. I know Cameron is going to be Clarice from Silence of the Lambs, which did tick me off a little. I wanted to be Buffalo Bill, ha. Chase is Napoleon Dynamite. Foreman is going to be Austin Powers, but I think that's because he lost a bet. And god only knows what House is going to do. He wanted to be Frank-N-Furter while I was Rocky, but I don't really think I can pull off tiny shiny gold booty shorts.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

we could brad and janet

[head-of-0ncology]

That's not too shabby of an idea, Max. I got to know before I agree... Which of the two of us is which?

[221b-bitchinstreet]

okay well im janet obvi. duh.

[head-of-0ncology]

Don't worry, James! We're all busy! Do you know who everyone else is thinking about being for Halloween?

Thank you! :] I've had to keep my ears to the ground to make sure I don't repeat anyone's costumes. I think Cuddy is going as Scary God Mother. Not quite sure what that is, but she seems happy about it. I know Cameron is going to be Clarice from Silence of the Lambs, which did tick me off a little. I wanted to be Buffalo Bill, ha. Chase is Napoleon Dynamite. Foreman is going to be Austin Powers, but I think that's because he lost a bet. And god only knows what House is going to do. He wanted to be Frank-N-Furter while I was Rocky, but I don't really think I can pull off tiny shiny gold booty shorts.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

we could brad and janet

[head-of-0ncology]

If you’re going as a vampire for Halloween, is House going as Bella Swan?

Huh? I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I know what you are referring to. Please if someone could enlighten me. :)

[221b-bitchinstreet]

b r o okay SO

theres this place out west right and theres this girl and shes like just a girl but she moves out west and then theres a Guy. and the guy is a vampire. like. vlad the impaler. and the girl falls in love with the guy. it's debatably weird. the name of the girl is bella. theres also a bunch of stuff in italy?

[head-of-0ncology]

dr. wilson do you think theres more to life than sleeping on a drug addicts couch? @221b-bitchinstreet

Well, if there is one I haven't found it yet.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

sometimes i yearn for an air mattress. maybe even a bed. i knit a lace shawl recently. i might give it to house's mom. yesterday i did a bong rip at 9AM and then remembered i had a midterm later that same day. who knows how well i did. i've also been reading Ulysses. im thinking about watching Midsommar later.

[head-of-0ncology]

did you cement my shoes? - max

Did I wha- ha what? Who, me? What? No, no never Max. We're friends. :]

[221b-bitchinstreet]

it was you!

[head-of-0ncology]

If, and only IF I had to paint my toenails for a bet... what color would best suit my complexion? I was thinking green, but that might be a little... whore-ish for lack of a better term. Please, hypothetical suggestions are desired...

[drhouseasks-deactivated20251030]

hot pink

[head-of-0ncology]

Where is the block button on here? House, get off of my blog, I don't want what I say on here getting spread around the hospital.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

DR HOUSE PLEASE HE'S TAKEN THE COUCH HOSTAGE I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON DOG THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS. IM THE ONE WHO PAYS THE SECOND HALF OF RENT NOT HIM

[head-of-0ncology]

Shhh Shhhh Max! These lies you tell are venomous! I have a reputation to upkeep y'know!

[221b-bitchinstreet]

dont act like im Iago you "think-im-righteous" liar.

[head-of-0ncology]

If, and only IF I had to paint my toenails for a bet... what color would best suit my complexion? I was thinking green, but that might be a little... whore-ish for lack of a better term. Please, hypothetical suggestions are desired...

[drhouseasks-deactivated20251030]

hot pink

[head-of-0ncology]

Where is the block button on here? House, get off of my blog, I don't want what I say on here getting spread around the hospital.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

DR HOUSE PLEASE HE'S TAKEN THE COUCH HOSTAGE I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR LIKE A COMMON DOG THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS. IM THE ONE WHO PAYS THE SECOND HALF OF RENT NOT HIM

[blythe-in-the-house-deactivated]

Gregory, there's something I've been hiding from you... you might possibly probably maybe be autistic...

@vicodinvindication

[221b-bitchinstreet]

its never too late to come out of the closet 🥳😌🏳️‍🌈

[dr-a-cam]

so if youre an immunologist, does that mean i can come to you for a doctors note any time i dont wanna go to class? - max ( @221b-bitchinstreet )

Technically, yeah, but I think House’d probably like it more if you went to Wilson.

[221b-bitchinstreet]

COOL CAN I HAVE ONE NOW

[head-of-0ncology]

dr. wilson ive come bearing apologies and a fruit basket. the fruit basket was actually from my mother and has way too much honeydew for my liking, so im pawning it off on you but it's the thought that counts and my donation of this to you shouldnt alter the state of the apology, or lessen it to any extent.

upon review, i think it might be good to have markymarkhoffman as a temporary resident of 221b Baker Street (house's version). the presence of law enforcement might motivate House to actually be a half decent human being for once. as long as we dont tell him how inept mr. mark is, house will think he's the real deal. you get to spend time with pookie, and i get a break from having my lunches eaten, and i know you know how that feels.

let's call a truce for now on couchmattress-gate?

pleasantly, max

(roommate, LAW STUDENT, stoner, afraid of horses, probably gay)

I... wow Max!

The fruit basket is nice! I wish you had gotten it under better circumstances, but it's the thought that counts. I like your theory on big brother keeping an eye on House, but I got to thinking... how are we all going to fit on this couch? Do we all sleep sitting up, shoulder to shoulder? Or maybe we enact the sandwich method? If that's the way it's got to be, who is going to be on the bottom?

@markymarkhoffman thoughts?

[221b-bitchinstreet]

respectfully i would rather sleep literally anywhere else than on a couch with the both of you. i have a sleeping bag, i'll go camping.

have fun snuggling with snookums, call me when he's got his marriage figured out.

[blythe-in-the-house-deactivated]

blythe i'll play bridge with you -max (@221b-bitchinstreet)

How lovely! Expect to be demolished ☺️

[221b-bitchinstreet]

i won't. you don't know who you're playing with.

[blythe-in-the-house-deactivated]

I would be quite offended if your confidence wasn't hilarious. I suppose we'll let the game decide. Sunday at 8?

[221b-bitchinstreet]

girl don't even try me i'll wipe your ass off the board.

yeah sure, sunday at 8 sounds good :)

[blythe-in-the-house-deactivated]

blythe i'll play bridge with you -max (@221b-bitchinstreet)

How lovely! Expect to be demolished ☺️

[221b-bitchinstreet]

i won't. you don't know who you're playing with.