Introduction:
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Hello, Iām Dr. Allison Cameron. Iām an immunologist at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
I was advised to make a blog to help with āonline diagnosesā (specific term used by my boss: āa-way-to-do-my-hours-of-clinic-duty-from-the-comfort-of-my-homeā).
Please find more information on my services below.
(For more on MUN, please click here.)
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Work Experience;
Stanford University School of Medicine (concentration in Immunology)
Mayo Clinic (Internship)
Northwestern (Immunology Fellowship)
Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (Diagnostician; Ongoing)
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Desirable Qualities;
Experience working in a high-stress environment
Board-Certification in Immunology and Internal Medicine
Tolerance for homosexuality and old men
I can also draw a little, if you want.
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F.A.Q.:
I am a board-certified specialist. I am not here because I am conventionally attractive.
My specialty is immunology.
No, that does not mean I can make you āimmune like Supermanā.
No, your immune system will not ābecome tolerantā if you microdose yourself with bullets.
No, you should not use āsubstitutesā. Your body will not be āstronger the next timeā.
My answers to the previous 3 questions are because of my experience as a medical doctor and not ābecause I am a womanā or ābecause I donāt believe in youā.
Yes, Dr. Chase and I were ātogetherā.
It is not your business, but, yes, we did ādo itā.
I have no comment on whether or not I think heās secretly gay.
Or a closeted transgender woman.
(Not that thereād be anything wrong with either. I just donāt know why youād ask me that???)
I am NOT HIV+.
Yes, I did have an HIV test, but it came back negative.
āEverybody liesā does NOT apply to the HIV test I took.
I will not answer hypothetical questions about a universe where I did have HIV, because they are redundant.
No, I do not have a crush on Dr. House.
No, I do not want to sleep with Dr. House.
No, not even if he gives me $200.
Yes, I am aware that amount of money could feed 20 homeless people on the street; I think that if Dr. House is offering it, heās perfectly capable of feeding the homeless people himself.
I have no comment to make on the āprank-warā incident between Dr. House and Dr Wilson.
I have no comment to make on the ātermite-deskā incident between Dr. House and Dr. Cuddy.
I have no comment to make on the ābringing-a-live-crocodile-to-Cuddyās-home-and-putting-it-in-bed-next-to-her-like-that-one-scene-in-The-Godfatherā incident between Dr. House, Dr. Chase, Dr. Foreman, and Dr. Cuddy.
My silence does not make a me a bystander to āCuddyās wicked waysā.
Yes, I am open for interviews. My email address is in my LinkedIn.
No, you cannot reach me by conventional means (my boss has a reputation for sabotaging interviews).
I will provide character references upon request.
Please do not ask Dr. House or Dr. Wilson for a character reference.
If you have asked Dr. House for a character reference, please ignore the sections on āCameronās Long List of STDs which I am required, by law, to let her employers know aboutā, āWORKPLACE GOSSIP!!! (SHEāS IN A THREESOME?!?!?!)ā, and āHas anyone ACTUALLY seen them in a room together?; An analysis on Dr. Allison Cameronās relation to the 9/11 attacks.ā
Yes, ALL of these are fictionalised. He put āHIVā down 13 separate times.
Yes, I counted.
No, itās not 12, thereās actually an extra one on the email signoff he uses to send the reference.
No, Dr. Wilson did not do anything wrong. Itās just that Dr. House has his computer password and keeps pasting the 9/11 essay into the middle of any reference he sends me.
I have no comment to make on how he knows that passwordā but, yes, off-the-record, I do think theyāre sleeping together.
My own sexuality is not your business.
I will not have āhot lesbian sexā for $200.
No, itās not about hating the homeless. Stop it.
Please do not ask me about my ex-husband; itās a delicate subject.
Beyond that, my askbox is always open for medical queries, doodle requests, and general thoughts; feel free to stop by. (I usually do it randomly, but if youād like a medical diagram/drawn response, feel free to specify or add a āāļøā to the end of your ask!)
