;; see through me
@247jongdae
{ - he’s not sure why there’s this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach that seems to come so close to something like guilt, something baekhyun usually never feels towards anyone. but this time he does, this time he feels guilty and baekhyun just has no clue why; it’s not like he hasn’t done stuff like this before. and he’s not sure why he’s so nervous about seeing jongdae in the first place, he didn’t even sound pissed off about him, at least he did write very different from how he did on the day gossip girl revealed the faces behind the blasts, so why does he still feel nervous? why does he still feel regret gnawing away at him.
a sigh slips past his lips and he cups his face with his hand, fingers nervously, impatiently drumming against his cheek as he stares down at the tip of his shoes, white material dirty and looking worn out. - } “where the fuck is he…” { - another sigh comes from him and his free hand taps the display of his phone, checking the clock on the lock screen only to see that it’s still ten minutes before nine, still too early and baekhyun feels like he’s been sitting here for over half an hour, waiting – and he has, because he’s been ready way too early out of this weird nervousness. he closes his eyes, wishing for jongdae to just come early and save him from his nerves. - }
( ––& he should be angrier and truth be told that anger had only lasted at most a day. most people would call jongdae kind; maybe to the point of stupidity and jongdae knows that though he had never denied. jongdae has always been a guy that never took too many things to heart, had found that it was easier to let things go when you had to. though the revelation that it had been baekhyun –– him –– out of all people to blast jongdae like that had hurt him more than he was used to. he felt lied to, betrayed even, because jongdae could never for the life of himself imagine a time where he’d do anything to hurt baekhyun willingly. but it’s then when the kindness (or lack of care, or stupidity) sets in and jongdae can’t find it in himself to be angry. if anything he feels almost empty. but he friend and the both of them have gone through many things together. he doesn’t foresee the end so soon.
he walks towards baekhyun’s place, a route his more than familiar with by now, and he’s about five minutes earlier than he’d promised ) ah, i bet that fucker is gonna be late ( ––& he’s not struggling as much to walk, the strain on his leg and abdomen having cleared up though it’s still pain –– nothing that jongdae can’t pretend doesn’t exist though –– and if anything it’s just the cuts and bruises on his face that are visible and feel sore. he’s pleasantly surprised though when he sees baekhyun, eyes widening ) oh hey. ( ––& he says, the first words spoken to the boy after days ) you’re... you’re not late as shit. that’s cool. ( ––& and then he sighs; thinks about where to bring the conversation )
