TIMING: current. LOCATION: the woods in wicked’s rest PARTIES: @2distraught2haunt & @recoveringdreamer SUMMARY: memphis and felix try to hang out with no weird wicked's rest shit. i'm sure you know how well that goes. CONTENT WARNINGS: none!
Though they hadn’t met him in the most normal of circumstances, Felix thought that Memphis could wind up being a good friend if they kept at it. He wasn’t put off by their general… Felixness, didn’t seem irritated by their rambling, and was laid back enough to roll with things the way Felix needed a person to be. With how often their life seemed to fall into turmoil, Felix needed more friends, needed all the people they could get to help them hold themself together. And maybe Memphis needed friends, too. Maybe Felix could offer him something, could be more than a leech using Memphis to keep their head above water. They wanted to be. They really did.
In order to find out if they could be, though, they needed hangout sessions that… didn’t end with someone in a pond. Maybe the beach was a weird suggestion, given their first meeting, but with all the summery events going on, Felix was sure they could find some activity to bond over among the sand. They walked with a spring in their step to the spot where they’d agreed to meet Memphis, happy to see that their new friend was already there. “Hey!” They greeted him with a wave. “I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”
—
The beach had been a unique choice for a secondary hangout. Especially one that both Memphis and Felix had agreed should involve both of them staying dry. But, he was always willing to go with the flow. If that meant a beach day then so beach it. Memphis was literally sitting alone at a picnic table near the sand and made himself chuckle at his own stupid joke. Clary would be so disappointed.
Despite the impending wetness, Memphis was actually pretty excited. He had desperately needed to jumpstart some friendships in town. Something to get him out of the house and doing more than just sleeping, working and driving Clary around places. Almost being drowned wasn’t exactly the jumpstart he had had in mind, but it had worked, apparently. At least this time Memphis had the heads up to wear a pair of swim trunks just in case.
Felix showed up not too long after Memphis had, and Memphis returned the wave with a grin, “I was seconds away from falling asleep, actually. But in your defense, that has nothing to do with how long I’ve been waiting. If I sit down for like thirty seconds a nap is fair game.”
—
Memphis looked to be in a good mood, and Felix was glad for that. They’d been a little worried, the last time they met, about how Memphis might react in the long term to their unfortunate inability to pull the woman from the lake. Felix knew with some certainty now that the woman probably hadn’t been human, that she’d likely been happier in the lake than she would have been outside of it, but it was difficult to communicate that to someone who, for all they knew, knew nothing about the existence of the supernatural at all. Memphis had seemed upset about not being able to ‘save’ the woman, and Felix had been unable to blame him for the reaction. But the fact that no body had been found must have helped. He seemed to be in better spirits now. And, presumably, with his wallet intact.
They laughed as Memphis admitted he’d been moments away from a nap, nodding their head. “I totally get that, man.” Their own sleep had been hard to come by since moving to the boiler room, though something told them Memphis’s career path meant he found it even harder to catch up on rest. First responders really didn’t get much of a break, from Felix’s understanding. “Do you think a walk would help you stay awake? We could look at all the sand castles and stuff.”
—
“If I do fall asleep while walking, you totally have permission to just leave me in the sand.” Memphis laughed, kicking at it with his feet. Memphis had napped on the beach a lot, and that was even before he became as sleep deprived and perpetually tired as he was now. He used to escape his house a lot during high school and hit the beaches with friends or by himself if he was especially desperate. He had made some poor choices and woken up the next morning in the sand more times than he could count. “But yeah, let’s take a stroll.”
Memphis abandoned his shoes at the table before going deeper in the sand, steering clear of the tide as it rose towards them before receding back into the ocean. The drowning woman hadn’t completely ruined water for him, but he couldn’t be blamed for being a little weary of it. “You never told me what you do. Or like, what your deal is.” Memphis wouldn’t say that he enjoyed small talk, but he considered it a necessary evil. As busy as Memphis has been the last year, making deep, personal friendships hadn’t exactly been easy. Most of the time when he found himself with the time and energy to meet new people he never made it past a few drinks and small talk. So if he wanted to actually make some real, true friendships he decided he needed to speedrun certain aspects. “I’ll give you a crash course on me. I’m a paramedic, but you knew that already. I live with my little sister who is far cooler than I’ll ever be. I’d introduce you to her, but you’d totally like her better so I’m going to force you to become my friend first so that when you meet her and like her better you feel guilty about it. I grew up here, but I left after high school to go to college and medical school. I had to come back when my parents passed which is how I ended up living alone with my little sister. And I have a bad habit of falling asleep in public places.” he counted the facts off of his fingers, trying to brush past the darker parts with some light humor and a carefree tone. His smile never dropped, it rarely did. “And that is basically every interesting thing about me, sadly. Your turn.”
—
“I wouldn’t do that,” Felix assured him quickly. “If anything, I’d just lay down next to you so everyone would think we were just hanging out.” Dragging Memphis through the sand to continue the stroll would feel a little cruel, and they’d be too worried about hurting him. And leaving him definitely wasn’t an option, considering how dangerous… well, just about everything in Wicked’s Rest was. But Felix was pretty sure Memphis was joking about falling asleep while walking, anyway, so it wasn’t something they needed to think about too much. Things would probably be fine.
Following Memphis’s lead, Felix removed their shoes and moved out into the sand. The texture felt a little weird on their feet, but the warmth was pleasant and familiar all the same. They liked the beach, even if they didn’t tend to spend much time in the water. That was all right, though; this was meant to be a dry hangout, anyway! They kicked at the sand absently as they walked, enjoying the way it moved. But then, Memphis asked the totally normal, expected question of what it was that Felix did, exactly, and the balam faltered. It was a split second thing, something that could be easily passed off as a simple misstep. They shrugged it off, staring down at their feet. “I, uh — I work in a gym. It’s really boring.” It was a familiar lie, their go-to. They hated the way it made them sound better than they were, hated the fact that it let them off the hook in a way they really didn’t deserve. But what was the alternative? Their contract prevented them from saying too much about their job, even if they weren’t pretty sure that Memphis didn’t know enough about the supernatural world to think they were a little nuts if they told the truth. The tried and true gym lie would have to do here.
It still felt bad, though, especially when Memphis was being so honest about his own life. Felix offered a sympathetic nod as he mentioned his parents’ death, quietly imagining how difficult it must have been for him to drop everything and take care of his sister. “You went to medical school? That’s, uh… That’s really cool. You must be smart.” They offered a small smile, though didn’t maintain eye contact long. “I’d love to meet your sister sometime, but I’m cool waiting until you’re sure I won’t like her more than you.” The smile widened a little into a brief grin before fading a bit when they realized it was their turn to talk about themself now. It wasn’t really their favorite subject. “Uh, I lived here until I was fourteen. We moved when my mom died. My dad, uh… didn’t take it very well.” That was an understatement, but the full truth was far too much to share. “I came back a few years ago when I reconnected with someone who lived here. That… didn’t end very well, but I stuck around town, anyway.” Mostly because they had no choice, thanks to the Grit Pit’s contract. God, their whole life was a series of things they couldn’t say out loud. “I live alone. Well, I have a pet… um, thing. And a cat, but she’s staying with my old roommate for a little while because I’m not sure my temporary new place is good for her. And I think that’s everything interesting about me.” Besides the ‘I turn into a jaguar sometimes’ thing, at least.
—
“Wow, that’s so ride or die of you.” Memphis pretended to swoon, fanning his hand against his face before draping the back of it across his forehead, “My knight in shining armor, truly. Or at least my fellow Sleeping Beauty” it really depended on if Felix fell asleep in the same with Memphis. With company, falling asleep in the sand shouldn’t be an actual problem that Memphis needed to worry about… probably.
Felix didn’t give much information past: gym. It didn’t sound like they loved their job very much. At the end of the day, a job was a job. Didn’t need to be anything more than that. Still, Memphis had hoped that Felix had been doing something they were at least somewhat excited about. From the brief interactions the two had shared, Felix had seemed pretty optimistic and full of life. They deserved that all the time. “What about people watching? People watching at a gym must be one of the most fascinating places to observe them in the wild.” Memphis refused to go to an actual gym, mostly trying to fit in some workouts in the station gym in between calls.
Logically, Memphis could see the jump that Felix made by associating medical school with being smart. He wasn’t so sure that his family would agree. If he had finished residency and become an actual practicing doctor then maybe they would have been proud and called her smart. They certainly didn’t think the path he had chosen was smart, and they weren’t even alive to reap any of the benefits of him finishing his residency. Memphis never thought it was that cut and dry. Always figured that the term was always interpreted as far too black and white. “I guess. Depends on how you define smart. I’m mostly just good at memorizing stuff.” There were plenty of skills that Memphis would be considered lacking or fully inept at. Memphis mentally tucked the note of his sister into his pocket. Maybe he could invite Felix over to dinner some night and actually put his passable cooking skills to use. When talk turned to Felix’s own history, Memphis skipped a few steps ahead and then turned, walking backwards along the beach to give his attention to Felix. He almost made a joke about both having a dead parent but stopped himself. He had to practice some restraint, at least until the third hang out. “I know for a fact that there a lot more interesting things about you. And I have so many questions but I’m not going to bombard you and dig too far into your personal life. Yet, at least. I’ll save that for dinner something.” He tried to keep things lighthearted regardless, “But I will ask, if things didn’t end well what made you actually stick around? I’ll be honest, I’m not sure I ever would have come back to town if I hadn’t been forced to.”
—
Felix laughed at Memphis’s dramatics, shrugging their shoulders. “Well, it would be a dick move to just leave you hanging!” At the very least, pretending to sleep in the sand beside Memphis would allow them to keep anyone from stepping on their friend. Because people definitely would. People would totally trample him, and he’d already been dragged under pond water by a maybe-not-human lady. He didn’t need more problems added to his plate.
People watching. In a normal gym, maybe, it would have been a fun activity. In the Grit Pit, Felix was more… the thing being watched than someone in a position to watch others. The idea of watching the crowd during fights was uncomfortable, in many ways. Felix didn’t particularly enjoy seeing the joy and excitement on strangers’ faces as their own blood spilled on the ground, or hear their cheers when they dirtied their claws with the blood of other people. They shrugged, offering Memphis a smile they hoped didn’t give too much away. “It’s less fun than it sounds.”
They were a little surprised to see the doubt flicker across Memphis’s face as they lamented on how smart he must have been. It was strange, the idea that someone could go to medical school, could spend every day of their lives saving people in the back of an ambulance, and still not consider themself intelligent. Felix often felt that if they had a different job, or if their life were less messy, or if their childhood had been different, they’d like themself more. It was strange to think that other people felt the same, that everyone had a list of things that would need to happen in order to ease the sense of self hatred in their minds just the same as Felix did. They chewed their lip thoughtfully, shrugging a shoulder. “You seem smart to me,” they offered. “I mean, I was never good at memorizing anything, or doing math, or… any of that, really. So it’s impressive, you know, that you did that kind of thing.” Their smile widened a little as Memphis insisted that there was plenty more of interest about them, even if they weren’t sure they agreed. It was nice to have someone else think so, in any case. “Oh, well, you can ask whatever you want! I just can’t promise that the answers will be, like, James Bond levels of interesting.” Not that they’d ever actually seen a James Bond movie. They didn’t like spy thrillers much, and the accents were distracting. Though… not quite as distracting as the question Memphis asked. Felix searched for an answer that wasn’t the truth — I got trapped in an underground fighting ring that literally binds me to this town — but wasn’t so big a lie that they felt guilty about it. “I… lost contact with my family,” they admitted, shifting their weight. “If they come looking for me… this will be the first place they check.” It wasn’t untrue, though they weren’t sure it would have been enough to make them stay without the bind. Still, they hoped it would be an acceptable answer. They didn’t have another one to offer.
—
Memphis found Felix fascinating. Outwardly, they always came across as so positive, yet seemed to hold a fairly low opinion of themselves. It wasn’t a combination Memphis saw too often. Was the positivity and light heartedness a front, or something else entirely? Either way, Memphis enjoyed talking to them. No matter how often Felix probably worried that they were rambling or called themselves uninteresting. Personally, Memphis liked to believe that nobody was completely boring. It was all in how they presented themselves.
“I’m not saying I’m not smart.” Though sometimes Memphis did question it, “I’m just saying that I think that smartness is subjective and there are a lot more factors than just me going to medical school. I mean, technically I ended up quitting before the residency so it’s really up for debate.” Not in his mind, but in someone’s… probably. Mostly his dead family’s. “In your defense, is anybody’s life as interesting as James Bond’s? I’ve only seen one of those movies but even that was enough to put any of my accomplishments to shame.” Memphis spun around and started walking the right direction again, only trusting his coordination for so long. Felix’s family fascinated him though. Memphis had spent most of his life avoiding his family, even if they were dead. To know Felix stuck around just in the off chance they were looking for him must mean something. “Hm. Good to know. Well I’m happy to have you here regardless. For a couple reasons, but mostly because without you I would’ve lost my wallet permanently.” Memphis gave a sly grin, obviously meaning it as a joke. “Since you’re sticking around for now, we may as well make the most of it. Set up a weekly coffee date or something. You ever go running? Sounds awful, running for fun. But for some reason I do it. Sometimes. Or I could allegedly, if I had someone to run with.”
—
That was a good point, actually. There were different kinds of intelligence; Felix had always known that. Their mother hadn’t been what most would call ‘book smart,’ but she was still one of the smartest people Felix had ever known. And they’d known people who were book smart who were still lacking in other areas, too. Still, Memphis struck them as the sort of person with multiple kinds of intelligence under his belt, and Felix offered him a smile they hoped would convey this message. “It’s not up for debate to me,” they replied. “I mean, I know I don’t know you well, but I think you’re really smart in a lot of different ways. And nice, too, which… is its own thing, you know? A lot of people just aren’t nice.”
Another good point. Maybe James Bond wasn’t the kind of person anyone could compare themselves to without looking boring. “I guess it seems like he’s got the most exciting life imaginable.” That was what Felix had gathered strictly from secondhand information, at least. In the trailers for the James Bond movies, it looked like he had a cool life. He wore suits! Like, all the time! That was exciting. Felix never wore suits. They let out a small laugh as Memphis continued, feeling a pleasant warmth in their stomach at the idea that someone was happy to have them around. “I’m sure you would have found it eventually,” they offered, because Memphis was smart and would have spotted the wallet when the sun came out. “But… I’m glad I could help you.” They weren’t sure they could say they were glad to be back in Wicked’s Rest — not with Leo and the Grit Pit hanging over them — but they were happy they got to meet people like Memphis. “A weekly coffee date would be great! I’ve… heard of running. I know it’s supposed to be good for you. I would be willing to give it a shot. TikTok says it’s good for your mental health. But I think that might just be because when you stop running, you’re a lot happier than you were while you were in the process of running. But, hey, you know, that’s still something!”
—
“Wow that’s hella decisive of you.” Memphis applauded, “I mean who am I to argue with you, yeah? Guess I must be hella smart.” he laughed. It was still a joke, but not one that Memphis would push. He guessed he appreciated the compliment regardless. Maybe he could get Felix to record the message and send it to Clary. No, she’d find some way to roast him for it for sure. “Who isn’t nice to you?” Memphis put on a fake stern face, knowing damn well there was nothing he could do about it. Still, he crossed his arms angrily and tried to sound threatening, “You want me to beat them up for you?” He could only hold onto the facade for seconds before crumbling into giggles, “Obviously I’d get my ass kicked so I won’t do that. But I will annoy them to death.”
Memphis wasn’t so convinced he would have found the wallet eventually. Not with the looming woman hellbent on showing Memphis her underwater habitat. “I’m actually pretty sure I would have not only never found my wallet, but also drowned in a pond. Which is incredibly embarrassing. So you saved me from my body being exhumed by my own coworkers and from my sister being mad at me about losing a wallet. Not necessarily in order of importance.” he had no doubts that he would have looked in the water for his wallet whether Felix had been there or not. Fact was, they had been the one to dive in to help rescue them. “Weekly coffee date it is. Running will be filed away as a maybe.” Felix didn’t seem sold on the benefits either, “I think you might actually be onto something. When I do occasionally work out I am always very thrilled to be done working out. And never happy about the workout itself.”
—
They grinned a little, liking how easily Memphis accepted their opinion and applied it to himself. It made it feel as though it mattered what Felix was saying, and that wasn’t something the balam felt often. It was a joke, mostly, but it still made them feel good. And it occurred to them that that was probably how jokes were supposed to be. Too often, they experienced jokes being made at their expense instead. They liked this much better. They laughed as Memphis jokingly offered to beat up anyone who wasn’t nice to them, and it wasn’t serious but it still felt nice. It felt nice when Wyatt did it, too, or Anita. Having friends, Felix thought, was a strange new world of warm feelings in his stomach. “No need to annoy anybody to death,” they assured him with a shake of their head. “It’s all good, right?”
Was that true? Had Felix’s intervention been the only thing preventing Memphis from drowning? They liked to think he wouldn’t have drowned even without their presence, if only because the idea of Memphis drowning tied their stomach into knots. So they pushed the thought away, focused instead on the fact that Memphis was here and fine and so was Felix. “I like you a lot better un-drowned, too,” he joked with another grin, deciding not to push the matter even if he still wasn’t sure their involvement had made much of a difference in that. “Yes, I’m definitely more into coffee than running. I could do running! Maybe! Just, um, maybe not regularly.” They got enough workout at actual work, even if they hated that, too. “Yeah! See, I think that’s the thing they don’t tell you. Working out doesn’t make you happy, stopping working out makes you happy.”
—
“Boo. I kind of wanted to annoy someone to death.” Memphis gave a fake pout and crossed his arms, emulating the childlike tantrums he remembered from Clary. “Not that I’ve ever done it before, but I feel like if it’s possible I have the skill set and determination to get it done, you know? I’m not a quitter.” Except for the very real part of his life that he had quit, but that was hardly the point.
“Aww. I’m touched, truly.” It wasn’t every day a friend told a friend that they liked him better undrowned. Nobody has ever said they preferred him drowned either, mostly because the topic of drown or undrowned had literally never come up in conversation until a few nights ago. Really, the compliment was purely based on semantics. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Memphis roamed closer to the water, probably a bold risk considering how him and Felix had met. His feet stopped sinking into the sand as he got closer to the ocean and he only slightly jumped from the cold once the water hit his ankles. “You have a great point. I’ve actually never been happier than when I get to stop working out. Instant endorphins.” Memphis waded a bit farther in, bending over to roll up the legs of his jeans and very nearly losing balance and falling over. He stumbled a few times, splashing water onto his jeans and effectively ruining the point. “It’s not so bad when they’re not a random person trying to pull you into the water, actually.”
—
If it was possible to annoy someone to death, Felix thought they probably would have done it by now. After all, they’d shared a very small cabin with their three older siblings and little to no contact with anyone outside of them. You got pretty good at annoying people, at that point. But Memphis seemed pretty determined, so Felix laughed. “I bet you could if you really put your mind to it. But, I don’t know, it’d — I mean, it’d kind of be your problem after. Since you’re an EMT. You’d have to shock them back to life and undo all your hard work!”
They laughed again as Memphis claimed to be touched by their preference for him to remain undrowned. “If that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you, you should probably hang out with nicer people,” they replied with a chuckle, letting themself follow Memphis towards the sea. He liked the ocean, even if he didn’t really like swimming. There was something about seeing it, all vast and endless stretching over the horizon, that made them feel at ease. Maybe it was the way it tended to dwarf all their problems. “They should market it like that. Working out: you’ll feel great when it’s over! Maybe then more people would do it.” They watched Memphis wander further into the water, smiling at his statement. “Yeah, I guess not. I definitely like it more with no one trying to drown us.” They looked down to the sand, pausing momentarily. There was the faintest… lump on the ground. “Hey, I think there’s something buried over here!” Maybe a seashell? Felix crouched down to inspect it.
—
Unsurprisingly, Memphis had not fully thought through the logistics of annoying someone to death. Felix had reminded him of the reality of his own job. “Touche.” Memphis squinted his eyes at the moment, as if the gentle reminder from them had annoyed Memphis. “I’ll have to regroup and plan something new. Maybe do it on one of my off days.” As if that changed anything. As if he wasn’t always on in some capacity.
“I will make sure to give my little sister that feedback.” Memphis joked. At least mostly. She was a savage, but was mostly good natured with her jokes. “I think we just started a business my friend. I know nothing about entrepreneurship, but I know plenty about stopping working out. So at the very least, I’m an expert at our craft, if not running our business. I’ll let you handle all that stuff. I’ll just be the one not working out as the pretty face of the business.” He tucked his fists under his chin and shot Felix an angelic grin as a small taste into the so-called face of their so-called business.
While he roamed out into the shallow water, he kept an eye on Felix, worried that something could go wrong at any moment. When Felix yelled out to Memphis, he strolled carefully over in their direction. “Whatever it is, please don’t dig up something that’s going to kill us!” Memphis yelling back, pretty sure his voice carried over the winds.
—
They laughed as Memphis seemed to go back to the proverbial drawing board with his ‘plan,’ nodding seriously as if they thought Memphis might be serious. They were getting better at playing along in situations like this one. While they might have once stammered through a long winded ramble that ruined the joke, they’d learned to respond more appropriately. Having a lot of friends who were fond of such humor helped. A few more months, and Felix might be something of a professional.
…at least, so long as they didn’t need to become a different kind of professional first. They laughed as Memphis launched into a business plan. “Well, I’m not much good at, uh, the business side of things, either. Maybe we can enlist somebody else for that part! We can put out an ad online? ‘Are you good at business? Do you hate working out? Do you like stopping working out?’ I bet we’d get a lot of bites. I’m not sure how the business goes about, uh… making money, though. Do we force people to work out and make them pay us to stop?” It was falling apart pretty quickly but, luckily, it was all a hypothetical joke business, anyway.
Felix was far more interested in the thing sticking out of the sand, really; they poked at it carefully, furrowing their brow when it seemed to shift beneath the sand. “It’s really small,” they called back. “I don’t think it’s big enough to kill us.” Carefully, they began digging.
—
“So neither of us are born business men? That’s a shame.” Memphis couldn’t care less business honestly. The idea of starting his own business felt so exhausting it made him want to curl up in the sand and take a nap. He didn’t have enough sleep as it was. “Okay so we need to turn this duo into a trio, exclusive to money making minded folks.” Memphis continued the joke regardless. He couldn’t commit to a business idea, but he could commit to a bit. In fact it was about the only thing he was entirely comfortable committing to. “Yeah, yeah. I like the ideas you’re spitballing so far. We’ll start with something like that. Blackmail or whatever.”
The sand around Felix began to shift, and Memphis could feel his easy going attitude start to shift into emergency responder mode almost immediately. “Uh, you sure about that? How big does something have to be to kill us exactly?” He tried to suppress the instinct, keep the fun and carefree Memphis here instead, for Felix’s sake. But they were so damn close to that shifting sand. “That definitely just moved, right? I prefer my sand to not move, actually. And I really prefer my sand to not have something that moves under it.” He didn’t care how unrealistic that sounded.
—
“Doesn’t seem like it.” Felix had done decent in school up until his father pulled him out in the middle of freshman year, but they’d never really gotten into business classes. The closest they’d come had been math, which… they weren’t the best at. They hadn’t even gotten around to getting their first job yet before their ‘average teenage experience’ was cut short and replaced by the cabin in the woods. All they knew about work and business had been, unfortunately, learned through seeing how the Grit Pit operated. Felix was pretty sure the Pit wasn’t the norm, and definitely sure they wouldn’t want to run a business that way. Hypothetical or otherwise. “Do you know where to find someone who knows about business?” Maybe Anita was good at business. She seemed like she could be. She owned a lot of nice clothes, after all. “Oh, I don’t know if that should be our go-to, actually. It sounds a little mean when you think about it.”
Still kneeling by the patch of sand, Felix shrugged. “At least big enough to, uh… take a bite out of you. Right?” But snakes could kill you, and they weren’t very large. They shifted backwards a little, uncertainty creeping in. The sand continued to shift, and they couldn’t stop themself from squinting. “It’s… oh. It looks like a clam, maybe?” They leaned forward again, now more certain that the creature was harmless. “It’s just a little —” A puff of some kind of gaseous substance blew up from the sand, hitting Felix in the face. They coughed, falling backwards. Landing in the sand on their back, they began to… giggle.
—
“Not at all, my friends are you and a twelve year old.” That was a bit hyperbolic, Memphis definitely had other friends. None specifically came to mind at the moment, but they definitely existed. “But it can’t be that hard to find someone right? I’m great at making friends. It’s been said that people can’t resist my charm, you know? I’m usually the one that says it but that’s still got to count for something.” If nothing else, they made a new friend and got a good laugh out of pitching the terrible business idea to them. “I think business in general is kind of mean, honestly. Maybe we aren’t built for this life.”
“Yes. Definitely big enough to do that. Another reason to not get involved.” Memphis warned again, taking a step closer towards Felix. He wanted to keep his distance from the moving sands, but not too far that he couldn’t get to Felix if needed. When the sand finally broke, Memphis was pretty relieved to just find a clam. A weird looking clam, sure, but harmless nonetheless. “Thank god.” Memphis muttered, breathing a sigh of relief. A short lived sigh of relief apparently, as it was only a few seconds later that Felix was sprayed in the face by something. “What the actual-” he cut himself off when he realized that Felix was laughing. “I really love the positive attitude here, buddy. I also love to laugh off trauma, but I am a tiny bit concerned about the gas.” The laughing should have been more comforting, but Memphis’ own awkward chuckling was quickly drowned out by the obvious wrongness of the situation. “Felix? I would really love it if you stopped laughing right now. Which is a wild thing for me to say.” Also, where the hell was that clam?
—
“I know a professor! And a… person who seems to know a lot about things.” Jade had been willing to help with the gay ice endeavor, but Felix wasn’t sure she’d be as interested in this. Anita would probably roll her eyes, but would go along with it if she was bored enough, or if Felix asked nicely enough. They weren’t sure how much help any of their other friends would be here. Wyatt didn’t seem interested in business, Teagan probably wouldn’t quite understand it, Thea would… be enthusiastic, but probably not much help beyond the enthusiasm. “That’s probably true,” Felix agreed with a laugh. “Capitalist endeavors might just not be for us. Which is probably fine!” It was probably a good thing, really; running a business didn’t seem like the kind of thing that would be fun long term.
Certainly less fun than whatever the clam had hit them with. The laughter continued to bubble from Felix’s chest, hysterical and uncontrollable. Memphis was saying something, but it was kind of hard to hear him over the sound of their own giggles. “I don’t —” They tried to speak around the laughter, wheezing a little. “I’m not sure why —” The laughter continued. And the clam, now out of the sand entirely, scuffled back in from behind Felix, sharp edges at the ready. Felix spotted it from the corner of his eye, laughing louder and pointing to it so Memphis could see. They weren’t capable of doing much about it; they were much too busy laughing.
—
Usually someone laughing uncontrollably in front of Memphis was a huge morale booster. He always knew how funny he was after all, it was convincing others that seemed to be more difficult. This however was not was he considered a win. Not only was Memphis not the cause of this sudden fit of laughter, he wasn’t sure what was. And neither did Felix, or so it seemed. Which definitely wasn’t good. Strictly looking at causation, it appeared that whatever gas the clam had emitted had caused this… whatever it was. Just because that was what appeared to have happened didn’t make it the logical conclusion though. Nothing about this seemed logical.
“Shit shit shit.” Memphis muttered, mostly to himself as he teetered between rushing over to Felix and keeping his distance from them. He needed to get Felix away from the clam, make sure that the gas had only made him prone to laughter and was not causing any additional health scares. Memphis started tiptoeing his way across the sand towards Felix, interrupted when Fleix pointed towards the clam, who was now back in Memphis’ view and moving. Moving felt like the wrong word, more like muscly tendons were dragging it across the sand. The sight alone made Memphis’ skin crawl. It seemed to position itself towards Felix, and fearing what may or may not happen next Memphis did the only thing he could think to do, which was rush forward and kick at the creature, punting it’s body away like a soccer ball.
“Ow, what the fuck.” Memphis complained immediately, grabbing his foot in pain. It had felt like kicking cement, and he was only lucky that he had at least minimal knowledge of the sport to have known to kick with the side of his foot. Otherwise, he probably would have broken his toes. “Let’s go please, before that thing wants revenge.” He hadn’t really paid attention to how far he had managed to kick it away, but he figured it couldn’t have been far enough for them to feel safe. He reached down to grab onto Felix and try to hoist them up to help support across the sand and to safety, if it could even be called that.
—
The clam was coming towards them and, on some level, Felix knew that was bad. It looked sharp and a lot more dangerous than it had buried in the sand. He thought it must have been some kind of retribution for telling Memphis it wasn’t dangerous; as if the clam felt some need to prove itself now, some desire to show just how dangerous it could be. Felix figured moving away from it was their best bet, but the laughter in their chest was suffocating, and they couldn’t contain their desperate, neverending fit of giggles enough to force their body into anything else. They lay back in the sand, laughter somewhere bordering on hysterical now.
The clam drew nearer, and Felix wondered what exactly it was going to do. Would it slice them into ribbons? Drag them into the sea? Whatever its plan, they’d never know for certain. Before the creature could get to them, Memphis was approaching. His foot slammed against the clam, sending it flying through the air, and Felix laughed harder. It was a little funny, the way the clam sailed out across the beach… but everything was a little funny right now, even when it shouldn’t have been.
Memphis leaned down to hoist them up, and Felix stood, still laughing. “Is —” He broke off, giggling for a moment before continuing. “Is your foot okay? I think — hah — I think you got it pretty good!” They craned their head towards where the clam had disappeared to, allowing Memphis to tug them along the beach. Between the desperate giggles, Felix wasn’t a whole lot of help. Their legs were just barely keeping them upright. Without Memphis’s support, they would have fallen to the ground all over again.
—
Memphis was surprised how hard it was to support someone that was laughing so sporadically. The two stumbled across the sand to try to find the grass, probably looking like a couple of drunken idiots due to the laughing throwing Memphis all balance and sending them veering in a different direction. “My foot will be fine. My ego is through the roof though, on account of me telling you so and all.” Memphis grinned, slightly disappointed that he knew that laugh that Felix returned wasn’t a genuine laugh. The thought was actually so preposterous that Memphis started laughing too, which would have made him feel bad if he could stop laughing long enough to feel remorse. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing with you.” He tried defending himself, immediately relenting, “Though you’re not actually laughing I guess. Which means in a way I am laughing at you. So, my bad.”
Eventually, Memphis and Felix made it far enough into the grass that he supposed the two might be safe. They probably could have made it into town by now if they could manage to walk in a straight line. Memphis finally gave up on supporting Felix and slowly lowered them back to the ground before falling back onto his butt. “Okay so, what the hell was that?” Memphis questioned. “This is beginning to be a pattern.”
—
It wasn’t graceful, their exit from the beach. Felix spent the entirety of the journey still howling with laughter, unable to provide much assistance towards Memphis. They felt pretty bad for that, but it wasn’t the kind of thing that could be helped in the moment. “You — You did — hah — tell me so,” Felix relented, unable to get the words out without laughing. And maybe some of the laughter was a little more genuine this time; now that they were pretty sure they were out of danger, it was a little funny. They’d poked around in the sand despite Memphis’s warnings, and they’d gotten a face full of gas for it. And then, Memphis was laughing with them, and whether it was because of the gas or because of the joy of having someone else sharing in the laughter, Felix began laughing harder. “No, it — It’s okay! It’s fine, it — haha — it’s kind of funny!”
With the grace beneath them and the sand — and the clam — far away, Felix felt safe enough to fall to the ground beside Memphis. The laughter was dying down a little now, dissolving into the occasional hiccup. “I have no idea,” they admitted with a chuckle. “But… it does kind of feel like a pattern. Maybe we should stay away from all bodies of water. Lakes, oceans… I’d hate to see what we might find in a river.”
—
“Oh it’s definitely funny” Memphis assured, probably overhyping his level of humor just a tiny bit. If that was even possible. “But there is a time and place for that humor. And maybe now while you’re laughing involuntarily.” Something that he had still not entirely figured out. Not that he was curious enough to seek out the clam and try to figure the mystery out for himself. He was perfectly fine leaving that unanswered.
Luckily, the laughter seemed to be fading. If it stopped soon, then Memphis could really just believe that this was a funny little hiccup instead of a life endangering side quest that he needed to be more concerned about. Sure, laughing to death sounded humorous and impossible, but laughing too much was only like… twenty steps away from heart failure. It was a long shot obviously, but definitely needed to be kept in the back of one’s mind when put into the context of ‘laughing because you got sprayed directly in the face by clam gas’.
“Couldn’t agree more. When you and I are together we won’t so much as cross over a puddle. For our own safety.” Memphis tossed his head back and looked up at the sky, bright and clear and definitely unlike the dark and dreary night the two had met. Yet the two had managed to stroll into trouble regardless. “Well, maybe we head back to the car. I grab my medkit and we do just a little examination to make sure your heart rate and everything seems normal. You know, just to be safe.”
—
“Sorry about that,” Felix said, trying to stifle their laughter a little. It was far easier said than done; the giggles wanted to break free, and Felix wasn’t the best at containing them. “I keep trying to stop, but it’s — hahaha — I think it’s impossible. I think this might just be how I have to live now.” Part of them knew they ought to be a little more stressed about that possibility, but with the laughter came a certain level of lightness. The Grit Pit would probably make a theme out of it. The Cackling Wildcat. The thought made Felix wonder if the jaguar, too, would laugh when he shifted.
Probably not, given the fact that the laughter didn’t seem permanent after all. That was more of a relief than Felix would care to admit, really; there were a lot of situations where uncontrollable laughter would be a little embarrassing. Felix, of course, was unaware of any medical threats that might come with the condition in addition to the potential social embarrassment; the medical side of things was largely a mystery to Felix, who’d never even seen a real doctor. (Some things were too complicated to explain to human physicians, after all.)
The laugh that slipped through their lips now was entirely their own; not a hint of clam gas induced humor to be found. “I can agree with that. I think we probably shouldn’t even go outside when it’s rainy, just in case.” The idea of letting Memphis look them over was a little scary, but… Felix trusted Memphis. And maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. “Yeah,” he agreed with a small smile, “okay. Let’s do that.”
