Milly Milly

highly opinionated be old enough to drink

[2milena4u]

so why doesn’t Chanel care if you buy a bag in cash?

So they actually do, and there's a process for all of this.


When you walk into a Chanel boutique in NYC, choose a small classic, and want to pay $11,500 for it in cash, you’re not going to be allowed to do that without Chanel collecting your personal information (license or passport), filing an IRS Form 8300 and a report with the federal government, and sometimes even flagging your store account if you make multiple large cash purchases in a short period of time. If you’re outside of the USA, some stores won’t let you pay for anything in only cash over a certain amount, and rarely will they refund you in cash; they’ll insist you take a store credit. Hermès refuses cash transactions over $10,000, and Louis Vuitton flags, you can safely assume that no large retailer wants to mess with the OFAC, IRS, or do anything that puts them at risk financially. Every large retailer collects data, reports, and follows the law when it comes to large transactions, and if a customer has nothing to hide from the government, the only thing they need to worry about is the inconvenience of it all.

Cash is untraceable once it changes hands. That’s what the government cares about. If you’re paying cash for a purse, you are leaving with a physical item. The government can’t automatically say you’re washing money if you’re purchasing a physical item and Chanel sets their prices; the customer doesn’t. That’s why people joke about high-end art trading being a historical way of money laundering; at one point in time it was. The dealer sets the prices, and the buyer and dealer can collaborate to wash the funds.

[2milena4u]

Need to know ur opinion on the $10,000 transfer girls

Under the Bank Secrecy Act, a cash transaction of more than $10,000 forces the financial institution to do a Currency Transaction Report (CTR), which goes to the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN), a US government bureau. CTRs are related to suspected money laundering. From what I’ve come to understand from reading and researching the BSA in depth, there are teams of officers and agents who spend their careers looking into $10,000+ transactions or transactions that have seemingly been structured to prevent flagging. Europe has similar laws but I believe the flagging starts at a lower amount; if you’re based in the EU or the UK, take the time to read into the AML and EU Funds Transfer Regulation Rules. Your money can be seized and held indefinitely so I’d do what you can to make sure that you don’t get caught up in that.

Every financial institution based in America is required to adhere to this, be it a physical branch or an online money-transferring service like Venmo or PayPal; Apple Pay has a limit too. You run the risk of getting yourself involved in some very sticky legal shit if you run afoul of the law. This is also only for cash and coin (including centralized crypto exchanges and hosted wallet providers), and the BSA includes a lot of information you should really research and read into before you accept money from anyone. The fines are huge; you don’t want to fuck with the IRS or any banking institution. It's easier to get caught and audited than you’d think, and you want to avoid people who think they know better than the law or try to shirk the rules when the consequences put everyone at risk.

[2milena4u]

What’s ur take on the sw to hypergamy girlfriend/wife pipeline? I feel like a lot of people in this site spout sw advice that they have never actually put into practice and refuse to acknowledge the reality and social stigma that will forever haunt their relationship.

Oh, I generally assume that many people on this website have never had a boyfriend, much less done any sort of sugaring or attempted to social climb.

[brookieoftheyear]

[2milena4u]

Is there a reason why you wouldn't go yachting?

Yeah, because of the implication.

[2milena4u]

Genuinely what some of my crazier anons sound like.

[2milena4u]

Is it worth admitting that you like to take a submissive or feminine role in a relationship?

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being submissive or “being feminine” so long as both you and your partner understand that you’re equals in the relationship. I also think that there comes a point in time where if it’s a kink thing, you need to keep your mouth shut. The world doesn’t need to know what you’re into, and you shouldn’t expect others to tolerate being forced to hear about it or be involved in it. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you think your private romantic and sexual relationships need to be argued about with others. What you do in the privacy of your home, your relationship, and your bedroom are between you and who you’re with, and if you open up the doors for discussion, you’ll find that there’s always going to be someone who wants to argue for the sake of arguing or is desperate to lash out at somebody.

[2milena4u]

A man’s money doesn’t matter if his father made it, and generational wealth can easily be squandered in one generation, so there tend to be safeguards. If a man has never worked (or is incapable of working), spends money like there’s no tomorrow, skates by on charisma, connections, and his family name, and is content doing nothing, do not entertain him. It’s a form of irresponsibility that won’t become apparent until you’re put in a spot where one of you has to step up and you don’t want to be with someone who you have to guide through every step. I also have to say that it’s really kind of gross to see men in their late thirties who still use their father’s money to party and get women; you don’t want to be stuck with one of those and it’s in your best interests to block and keep it moving along.

[2milena4u]

I would be really careful dating men who’ve never had to work a day in their lives, have only worked for the family firm, think that they’re entitled to the money their parents made, or were set up to succeed through elite private schooling, enviable networking and great socialization opportunities, and too many chances to count but still seem to be floundering or wasting their lives away. That’s still a fail son, just in a different font.

[2milena4u]

do you think it’s easy to find a sugar relationship on lox club?

Yes and no.

If you really want that, it’s easy enough to find but it’s not going to be your typical arrangement or present as one. My friends who are in sugar relationships wouldn’t consider them to be casual by any means; they’re still putting in a lot of effort, these men consider them girlfriends, and even though things are “casual”, if I were a man, I’d not be traveling with, shopping for, and providing for someone I don’t take at least a little bit seriously. I also have friends who “casually sugar”, and they find it great; they’re easily able to do what they want, they’re able to get what they want, and no one has any objections. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that if you’re both consenting adults and you’re able to communicate with each other appropriately.

I prefer my relationships to straddle the line of "Are they? Aren't they?” and so I’m happy play house, go on play dates, and play the role of girlfriend, but I don’t want to be held down by a label until I’m 100% sure. It’s also not difficult for me to find that because I’m upfront with what I want, and I present it as a mutual decision, not just my own ("You're working like 65 hours a week; I don’t want to promise you something when we both know our schedules will keep us apart”). I’m one to take things slow, and I’ve always limited the number of men I talk to, so it ends up working out very well for me and I’m happy. I’ll be single until the day I choose to not be single; I don’t think exclusivity is a given or should be assumed without a conversation.

Culture also plays a role in it as well and you DO have to know some parts of the culture. There’s kind of a stereotype of having a wealthy Jewish sugar daddy for a reason, and within the culture itself, there are many mothers like my own, who will outright tell their daughters that if they’re going to waste their time with a man, at least make sure he’s treating you right and that he has money. I don’t think it’s that serious; if you want something and you’re “in the know and have the look" so to speak, you’ll be able to figure it out, but I also don’t think anything is that serious and if it’s not happening for you, there’s either a reason or you’re simply in the wrong location. Every relationship requires effort, so it’s definitely not some sort of a cheat code, there might be more money or more opportunities, but with more money comes more expectations and if you think you’re playing someone or “rinsing a whale”, you’ll just end up getting played.

[2milena4u]

My mom loves keeping up with the shul gossip, and there’s always a lot going on. I’ve spoken about this before, but like a decade ago, there was a rabbi, the son of a very prominent rabbi, who had a major cheating and remarriage scandal. He went through five wives and cheated on all of them; owed thousands and thousands in child support; and whenever something would come out, he’d immediately trade whoever he was dating in for a newer, younger, blonder model. 

She’s always told me that in more conservative sects of religions, the ones where women are expected to be subservient to men, oftentimes men are led to believe that their marriages are temporary. If they can’t get rid of you, they can always divorce you and trade you in for what they really want. I remember being shocked and asking her why an orthodox rabbi would believe he could cheat and divorce with impunity, and she told me that an orthodox rabbi was exactly the type who’d believe that women were temporary and existed solely to please him and complement his life. 

What I’m trying to say is that you have to consider a man’s background. I don’t think there’s any point in taking someone seriously if he legitimately believes that he can, or should, be dumping his girlfriend and looking for a new one the second she hits 25. I also think that a man with a father who’s been divorced many times and who encourages thinking of women badly is a man to avoid as well; one’s first glimpses of romantic love are usually at home, and if your dad is a misogynist and has views of women that are just rancid, you’re going to internalize his thoughts and carry them within you. I’ve been on dates with men who obviously have beliefs like this, and they make it obvious through their words and actions, and I never give them a second chance; they’re telling me who they are, and I’m believing what I’m hearing instead of trying to convince myself they’re different or special. 

If you’re an NYC girl, you know the shuls to avoid and the men that come out of them. I grew up going to a shul with a lot of wealth, and one of the things my mom warned me against when I got older was getting involved with the dating pool. I only use Jewish dating apps, but even when I was on Hinge, one of the things I’d do to vet potential dates was check up on where they went to shul, what religious groups and activities they were involved in, and what they did within the community. If you’re religious or okay with dating inside certain religions, you have to be willing to vet and really look into the men you’re interested in and make sure you’re not signing yourself up for something that’s destined to end in tears, being terrorized, or time wasted in the courtroom.

[2milena4u]

more things to look out for on dating apps?

A man who writes his profile like he’s trying to impress another man or humiliate a woman. Avoid violent talk, pass on “you’re not the prize, I AM!”, and block quickly.

A clear cultural or religious mismatch from the start.

A lack of achievements or no progress in his personal or professional life. You don’t want to deal with his BS.

No hobbies or an expectation that he can just adopt your hobbies and interests as his own (very unhealthy).

A man who writes about himself like he’s demanding or hopeless and thinks it’s funny. He’s single for a reason.

An obsession with work (it's his entire personality and only passion and work will always come before home).

A lack of life experiences and a disinterest in trying anything "foreign" or going anywhere new or exciting.

Repressed in any way, shape, or form. Always avoid!

An inability to take initiative or an expectation he’ll immediately be in control of everything. Both red flags.

[2milena4u]

I talk about strategy a lot, but the reality of life is that everyone wants something else, and no matter how similar you think your wants, needs, and desires are to someone else’s, you have to leave room for yourself to grow, learn, and desire more. I’m not talking about men here; I’m talking about women. We subconsciously and consciously model ourselves based on who we’re in proximity to or who we’re caught up in watching or copying, and it’s important to be able to recognize our own patterns and then either correct or accept them.

I think it’s important to have a milestone birthday plan too. I’m close enough to 25 that I’m not making a list of things to have done before I’m 25, so I have a 6 year plan. I’ve hit every check in mark on it so far, and while there’s room enough for me to change my path if necessary, many of my goals are vague enough for me to hit them and keep going without having to switch up on anything. I’m also not competing with anyone or forcing myself to try to keep up with a timeline I didn’t write for myself. I know what I want, how and where I want to live, and who I want to be, and yes, one could say that I’ve acquired all of this knowledge over a short period of time, but I also put myself to work figuring shit out and ran the numbers and strategy in real time.

Life for me is less about “I’m going to do this” and more about “this is how I’m going to do it”. All of the major things I’ve pulled off in this life have come with careful planning, saving, networking, waiting for my time, and strategic effort, and I’m a woman who’s willing to wait to make sure things are worthwhile before I leap in. Being able to strategize and knowing how your brain works in terms of planning things will save your life; it gives you more opportunities and control, and you’ll be able to put things together you wouldn’t have otherwise thought of because you’ll have made time, put the effort in, and planned well.

[2milena4u]

By using the damsel in distress, “I’m having yet ANOTHER emergency” excuse, you make yourself look less like a partner or girlfriend and more like someone’s useless teenager daughter. Speak up and ask for what you fucking want; don’t make yourself helpless or sour what could be a fun arrangement by making a man think you’re wholly dependent on him. And by constantly creating fake emergencies or scenarios to see if a man will financially support you, you run the risk of having an actual emergency and having him not believe a word coming out of your mouth, and you risk setting up a dynamic where he’ll begin trying to take advantage of you/coerce you because he believes you’re in need/danger. Either learn how to speak up for yourself and ask for what you want or walk away if something isn’t working; communication is imperative for any lasting connection, and you have to be comfortable talking to a man if you expect consistent support or want to have a long-lasting relationship.

[2milena4u]

Also, I’m fully aware that I sound like this, but it’s true.

There’s so much hypergamy and leveling up content out there that celebrates not doing much, and so many of the same people who repost it, agree with it, or parrot it year after year have nothing to show for all of their devotion. If you want success, you have to fucking work. Get up, go to work, be able to rely on yourself, make plans for your future, and succeed no matter the odds. You don’t waste time looking for cheat codes or trying to grift your way to the top; you do shit that’s sustainable and will bring you long-term benefits. You don’t assume men and the rest of the world are blind or stupid; you hustle like some of your icons have done in the past, you keep at it, and you don’t ever call in sick. This is your life we’re talking about. What's the point of wanting more if you won’t lift a finger to get it?

I could talk about being unethical all day, but the girls want to hear cute stories about scamming men and not real ways to keep your life on track no matter what.

Real success is what you’re able to make of your life.

[2milena4u]

Some things aren’t impressive because they’re a given. Saying "Oh yeah, I have a bachelor's from Boston University” might be exciting for some people, but if a man went to Penn and the majority of his friend group is made up of people who also went to Penn, going to BU isn’t going to mean much. Being educated is expected; it doesn’t make you exceptional, and it normally won’t give you any sort of edge. Having a bachelor's degree just means that you fit in with the crowd a little bit better than you would if you didn’t.

I think education is important because it keeps doors open, gives you opportunities outside of the ones you already have, and makes life easier in many ways. The upper class has been encouraging their daughters to pursue education forever, and have you seen how some southern white women were raised to make something out of themselves? It’s not just education; it’s socialization and the beginning of becoming deeply embedded in friend groups, secret and/or service societies, sororities, and political organizations and eventually meeting someone you see as a good match. The term “Mrs. Degree” exists for a reason, and some women might not obviously be pursuing marriage, but they’ve set their lives up so that when it happens, their success will be remarkable and their future’s bright.

I also think that one has to be willing to consume a lot of media and literature outside of what they’d normally reach for. I get a lot of questions like this, and I kind of wonder if the people who follow my blog aren’t doing any work to set themselves up for success. Since my teenage years at girls' group in shul, I've been exposed to an almost endless flow of different experiences and recommendations, things I should be doing for myself, information I should be pursuing and internalizing, and a whole lot more. I wouldn’t have gone to Prague unless I knew what kind of an edge it would give me, and many of the things I’ve been able to achieve now were possible because of that. I get a lot of anons about unethical tips, and the only thing I can say is that because people aren’t willing to give themselves that edge or work for what they want, shortcuts won’t work in the magical way some people need or want them to.

[2milena4u]

There’s really no “key to success” for app based dating.

Things that make matches likely:

Being attractive and in shape

Having a selection of good photos

Living in a major city (or close to one)

Presenting and writing yourself well

Being established in life or having plans

Knowing what you’re on the apps for

Being able to come off as an adult

Things that make matches less likely:

Having an alternative appearance

Living in the middle of nowhere

Being overweight or out of shape

Putting no effort into your profile

Having nothing going on for yourself

Overwriting/overmarketing yourself

Using badly taken, group, or blurry pics

If you fit the demographic of the app you’re using, the age range you’re looking at is reasonable, you’re living a life of your own, and you’re relatively open minded, you should be having success. If not, something from the former category is holding you back or you need to delete your profile this completely reset your algorithm.

IMHO best way to meet someone is by going out more.