"No, I don't fuck the dicks. I'm just the master of them."
RP/Ask blog for Adam from Hazbin Hotel. Mun is 26. 18+, Minors DNI
I follow/like from @thegilettemindrazer!
"Yeah, my name's Adam. You might know me from the world's most-read book: The Bible. Yeah, I'm THAT Adam. World's first rockstar, bitch."
"Recently, some things have surfaced about my status as Leader of the Exorcists, and I prefer to keep that on the D.L. No one needs to know anything they don't need to know, aight?"
"And don't bring up Lucifer. Fucker already ruined my life enough, and I've curated my online experiences to avoid mentions of him."
(OOC Under the cut!)
Please do mention Lucifer and the Exterminations, riled-up Adam is the best Adam.
Hey, this is @thegilettemindrazer's side blog for RPing as Adam from Hazbin Hotel.
As stated in the blog description, there will be mature and explicit content on this blog, and I will be very liberal with the block button if I suspect something is up.
I tend to roleplay in a paragraph format, and expect roleplay partners to put the effort in to create an engaging narrative. I don't expect lengths to match, but proper grammar and punctuation would be very much appreciated.
Asks are always open, and I'll do my best to answer each and every one! I will be much more lenient with asks, since those will be seen as online messages in this blog's canon.
OOC posts will be tagged as #OOC !
Asks will be tagged #answered ! (And, if applicable, the asker's username)
Starters will be tagged as #adam talks !
Clean maskless Adam icons and promo banner by @likeamothtofame !
((Yeeeaahh. As soon as I get the energy to Tumblr RP again, I'll come back, but I don't know when that will be. I still love you guys, and I always have fun with this blog! <3))
I am urgently looking for someone to commission me.
Full body flat color for 50€ instead of 55
(Paypal only)
I need 50 ASAP to buy an incubator for the quail eggs (they sell it at a discounted price but it's only temporarily).
If you want to help the project and donate instead of commissioning, don't hesitate to donate on my ko-fi
(special donator updates on there too about the quail eggs and the radio make over into Alastor's radio)
► reblog to let your mutuals know that...
YOUR RP BLOG IS NOT TIME-SENSITIVE!
...That there is NO time limit or expiration date on asks, memes or threads.
...That your partners NEVER need to feel they have to apologise for not responding to a thread or ask yet.
...That you welcome replies to "OLD" threads and memes, even if they've been sitting quietly untouched for weeks or months.
...That there is NEVER any pressure or obligation for your partners to reply until they feel the drive and enthusiasm to do so.
...That YOU will happily respond to things at YOUR OWN leisure, and you would like your partners to feel comfortable doing the same.
Not everybody enjoys running their blog this way and that's a-okay. But removing the idea that RP interactions are something that can "expire" or that the asks in your inbox have an unspoken "due-date", takes the pressure off of both your partners and yourself and can help bust feelings of stress/anxiety from the hobby. Reblog to let your partners know that you're just jazzed to receive new writing from them, whenever it comes.
canon divergent / semi-selective / lit. / minors dni
All those empty rooms, we could have been
anywhere, anywhere else.
Instead I made a bed with apathy,
my heart knew the weight.
Ten years' worth of dust and neglect, we
made our peace with weariness and
let it be.
What's the gospel of eve, and how is that relevant?
"A text of New Testament apocrypha created in honor of, and advocated for by my love, Eve. It's a text that promotes free fuckin' love, baby. It was awesome and then some shithead prudes decided it wasn't to the liking of their boring-ass worldview. Completely lost to Earth, now. I say fuck 'em. Bring it back!"
Wait. Are you and Lute fucking? Isn’t that against the Bible or some shit?
"No, here, let me find the passage."
He reaches into his robes, as if to find his copy of the scripture. He makes a surprised face, pausing. He whips out his hand, now flipping you the bird. A nasty smirk scrawled across his face.
"Someone hasn't read the Gospel of Eve. Unlike Lucy's girl, my wife knew what the fuck was up."
Don’t you do anything else BUT eat? No wonder Sera scolds you all the time.
"I do a very important job. I am literally Heaven's Ambassador in Hell. It's not the best fucking gig, because when I have to go down in person, I end up smellin' like eggs and sulfur and shit, but...it's needed. My position is warranted. And I'm tired of you all acting like Sera is my fucking mom or something. It's...complicated. So y'all need to do some fucking off."
He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. A grin forms on his face.
Pretty surprised you and Lute aren’t down in Hell. You two definitely deserve to be.
"Oh, this shit again."
He sighed, rolling his eyes. Felt like he got one of these anonymous messages every week, telling him how he "deserves" some horrible fate for like. What exactly? The exterminations? Sinners weren't exactly doing anything important down in that fucking cesspool. Being sluts? Addicts? Abusers? And he was scolded for culling them? C'mon, now.
"Listen, bud. Everyone in my DMs acts like they have a fucking theology degree, telling motherfucking Adam that he doesn't belong in Heaven. 'And his little Exorcist, too'! Don't you have a better place to make an ass of yourself?"
You are allowed to send antagonizing anons about my muse
(i was gonna put this on my rp blog last night, but i decided to make it a post on here so anyone else who likes antagonistic anons can reblog it as well without borking my notifs)
people are allowed to send anons about what goes on on my blog and the circle of blogs that interact with me, this includes trying to get under my muses skin or tell them the hard truths about what is happening, or even about their fellow friends and enemies!
berate them for putting up with something dumb, point out flaws in someone's story, mention how something they believe is not the truth, do it, have fun!
just be sure that the antagonistic anon you sent is directed at the muse, not the mun, and make sure to read the rules of the blog you wish to send anons to, some antagonizing might be seen as godmodding and will go unanswered or blocked.
Adam takes a seat beside her, throwing his battle-axe guitar onto the table. The cutting edges look dull and the entire weapon is splattered in the blood of sinners. He procures a wet rag from a bucket on the floor and begins wiping the golden surface down, staining the white cloth red. He watches his second in command care for her own gear. A spear seemed decently easier to clean. He'd be jealous, if his own instrumsnt of war wasn't so bitchin'.
"Awesome job out there, Lute. Really fuckin' lived up to your nickname tonight. Pretty sure your kill count hit the 300s."
It hadn't exactly been difficult to hit a new record. As much as the exterminations were about quelling rebellion, Hell WAS getting overpopulated. You could wind up to slaughter one demon, just to chop one behind you in half. It was that bad.
once Adam approached with his instrumental weapon , he could notice that her hair was soaked . . . she had already bathed in a nearby river after the bloodshed down in Hell . However , once the group of exorcist arrived into Heaven , she wanted to separate and recover from any wounds and other cuts and bruises , without any disturbances to the celebratory after party of the extermination .
〞thank you , sir . as always with your guidance . . . we were able to succeed effortlessly .〝
the lieutenant offers her commander a nod before directing her attention back to her weapons . this giving Adam the first opportunity to take notice of any scrapes . . . and immediately he could notice bites , claw scratches and bruises along her neck and cheek . her ripped uniform making it difficult to examine any more wounds than that .
placing one of the cleansed spears on the wall , she could focus on washing and polishing her daggers .
〞i hope none of the scum of the afterlife ended up harming you in any way . . .〝
"Oh, you know those cunts didn't lay a finger on me."
He continued to wipe his axe clean, taking note of how the rag caught on the edge. He'd have to sharpen it again, which would affect the tune of the guitar aspect of the weapon. He sneered, looking at the new faults in the gold. Couldn't sinners do him a favor and not damage his property while they were getting slain?
He took a glance at Lute, his eyes lingered on the bites and bruises she endured. Of course, they were in no real danger in Hell, but that shit looked like it stung. The bruises were already a deep bronze in color, indicating a rather hard impact.
"You look like ass, though, Dangertits."
He said this with as much sympathy and care as that phrase could possibly be uttered, which was surprisingly more than none. He gingerly reached out, touching one of the bruises on her neck. Adam could make out finger marks and the tips of his own ran over the injury.
"Please tell me you killed the sad fuck who gave these to you."
as a normal person would’ve flinched drastically in pain from the mere touch of pressure . . . Lute on the other hand , only made adjuster pain through a twitch of her eye . . . the eye that was on the other side of the neck . . . the bruise , yes , was deep , but nowhere near as fatal as the bite surrounded the bruise .
in a brief summary , the teeth buried so deep into the flesh of her neck that any punch , kick or even an aggressive poke could cause the blood in that area to create that bruise .
and unfortunately for Lute , it wasn’t a light lap that caused it .
〞I did . . . both that tried to gang up on me pulled off some good throws . . . but it wasn’t going to hold me back from fucking up each and every one of them ! . . .〝
finishing off her next sword , she’d test it by stabbing it onto the floor , causing it to stick its handle into the air like a knife to a cutting board .
stepping over from her bench to lift her arms and stretch .
〞it’s not THAT big of a deal , sir . really . . . just some lucky shots is all .〝
her palm rubbed gently over her neck with a soft exhale . the black and white wings stretched out right after to allow her feathers to breathe . . .
Adam was cocky, but seeing his second in command try to shrug off a wound like that was too much. He knew that angel biology was sturdier than that of a mortal human's, and he had had centuries to attempt to unlearn things that he had discovered in life, but old habits died hard.
"It looks fuckin' gnarly, Lute. You need to cover that shit up."
Of course, it would be a perfectly aesthetic treatment. Even if bacteria and viruses did exist in Heaven, Heavenborn blood was practically a disinfectant. Lute did not have to fear sepsis, or any other sort of nasty born of Earth or Hell. Skin always healed flawlessly up here as well. It'd take something major, like losing a limb, to leave a permanent mark on one of his soldiers.
@2ndbyteofapp1e said: 😰 "Aw, what the fuck Lute!?"
Send a 😰 for my muse to walk in and catch yours masturbating.
___________________________
Lute froze partly through the doorway when she realized what he was doing, her wings fluffing up in embarrassment for a second and her face flushing bright gold even as an expression of slight annoyance spread across it. "Oh, for- seriously, Sir? In your office?" She asked in a deadpan voice, rolling her eyes as she began to turn away. "In the middle of the fucking day? What do you mean, what the fuck?"
Lute rolled her eyes in annoyance, letting out a soft scoff. "I did knock, Sir. You must have been too distracted to hear me." She replied, crossing her arms and beginning to absently pace back and forth.
She turned back to face him again after a moment at his words, raising an eyebrow up just a bit as her frown deepened slightly. "Excuse me, some people have better ways to deal with stress than- than making a mess in their offices. Why do you think I spend so much time at the training field?"
"Well, maybe I was distracted. It was a good sesh. That you interrupted."
It was a good thing these masks did not display his pupils. The exaggerated eyeroll that he gave his lieutenant at the mention of "making a mess" would have been an argument starter for sure. He sat up straighter, now licking his hand in addition to wiping it clean.
"No offense, Lute, but I've seen you train. You walk off of the field with a sore...everything and in a sour fuckin' mood. Instead of fucking bitches up I think you're the-"
No, that wasn't the zinger that he thought it was gonna be. "You're the bitch that needs to be fucked"? That would have been another HR complaint. He was racking those up recently. It did give him an idea, however. One that he'd wanted to try for a while, one that he'd had a hunch she'd be okay with. He cleared his throat.
"Maybe I'd be in a better mood afterward more often if less of the others were so pathetic all of the time." Lute muttered under her breath, her annoyance shifting focus away from Adam for a moment as she continued to pace. She paused again at his next sentence, glancing towards him with a raised eyebrow and dropping her arm down to rest her hand on her hip. "Oh, for- what is it now, Sir?" The woman asked with a sigh, even as she circled around the table to go stand next to him.
His hand quickly moved to her side as he leaned in close to her ear. She could feel Adam's breath on her neck as he spoke.
"We have forty minutes, now. What if we practiced a fuckin'...thought experiment. I don't think you understand why winners do the things we do."
His hand snaked down her ribs as he lifted his other hand, a golden glow forming around both it and the office's door handle. Lute heard a 'click' as the entrance was locked again. This time, no one else had the key. Zero interruptions. His palm eventually landed on her hip as he pulled her even closer, to the point their legs were against each other. Adam's smile dropped, becoming much more sober.
"If you don't want this, tell me. But...I've seen the way you look at me, that gilded blush in your cheeks when we train...Shit, thinking about me must mess you up something fierce, huh? Never seen anything else do that to you."
Lily had a wide, giddy smile on her face as she landed on the path of cloud, the relatively young angel still barely in belief that she had been assigned as a guide to the first human. She folded her wings against her back, walking up the path to the place that he'd been given to live in and pausing in front of the door for a moment. Lily moved to quickly smooth down her dress a bit and wrestle her excited grin to a calmer smile before lifting a hand to knock.
"Yes, of course. As you say, Sir." Lily responded, curtsying quickly again before turning to start leading him towards the forest. Absently smoothing down her dress again, she paused for a moment at his words. "Ah, well, we do have nighttime here, though it's not quite the same as you would know. The stars shine much brighter, so it doesn't get as dark, and the view is so beautiful." She said, glancing upward for a second with a wide smile. "I can't wait for you to see it."
Adam glanced up at the sky, currently a pastel orange with stripes of a vibrant pink where the sun hit the droplets of water that made up the clouds. He had trouble believing that the night would be wven more dazzling. This was already unlike anything else he had seen on Earth.
"I'm looking forward to it."
He mutter this under his breath, not able to tear his eyes away from above. Could angels walk on all of these clouds, even the ones so far up? How far could he really go? He was so excited to try everything. He made small, careful steps beside Lily, finally returning to the level he was on. He blinked several times, realizing he gave himself a headache. He'd have to refrain from that for a bit.
A soft giggle threatened to escape the young angel for a second as she watched him, waiting until he'd looked back down to clear her throat softly and begin walking again.
The two of them eventually reached the forest, Lily pausing in front of one of the shining silvery trees and turning back to face Adam again. "Here we are, Sir! I hope that whatever you want to show me is doable here." She said with a light smile, folding her hands together absently again.
Well, this was surely a sight. The bright glare bouncing off of the metallic bark of the trees was otherworldly, unlike anything Adam had ever seen before. He was hoping for a spruce or ebony to craft an instrument, but he'd have to inspect this new, strange flora and see if it would make a decent substitute. That would be later, however. His human curiosity had been piqued by these plants.
"Wow...I've never seen anything like this. Ever..."
He ran his hands over a glittering vine curled around a silver trunk, cupping a large, crystalline bunch of berries in his palm. They were pleasantly cool to the touch. Everything in Heaven was so...comfortable. He wasn't used to it, and was unsure if he ever would be.
"I know I promised something but...can we walk around for a bit, Lily? I need a bit."
((Just another reminder that I like and follow from @thegilettemindrazer ! Recently added that important tidbit to my bio, and I apologize for any confusion that lack of information caused!))
Do y’all ever read your partner’s reply and it’s just… so beautiful, so well-crafted, you really just have to sit back, and read it a couple more times, and wonder how in the heck you got so lucky to write with someone THIS talented??
