Family & Dating
As we grow up, we are taught family values, traditions and rules. We are told what is right and wrong and in some cultures, certain things are frown upon. We are taught that we can't do certain things because it will break up family and we are guilted for wanting to do something we love or for going against the norm. Some stop themselves from going for things and taking risk because we didn't receive approval from our families. Some of us hold onto our families because that is all we have and if we fail at anything else, at least we wouldn't be alone because we have them. However, we don't realize the toxicity we hold within ourselves by allowing them to have that hold on us. By not allowing ourselves to let go because we are afraid to be alone. Once we decide to let go of being afraid and truly living free from the hold you allowed them to have on you, it is said that all comes into place.Ā
Something that I have witnessed in broken relationships is one person allowed their family to take control of what they should say and do in their relationship or they had a huge attachment to their family that they couldnāt focus on the one they were trying to create.Ā
My fiancĆ© put me onto this song Chuuch by Slim Thug. It has excerpts from Joel Osteen and he talks about the right people. He says if you are hanging out Ā with the wrong people, you will never meet the right people. As I listened to the song flashbacks of moments of my life that related to the lyrics of song and how I got myself out of those situations to make my life better. I am now at a point of my life where I've met my person and in the way we met and the way our relationship has flourish so quickly, some of my family is holding me back from truly enjoying this moment because i care too much and seek their approval... over the years I've been guilt tripped for doing what was best for me or not doing what I wanted because my family got in the way. Missed events to other things that were important to me because my family said it was important to be at their event. Many years I have given my time to them to help and care for them and rarely do i ever get the same return. I have allowed it time and time again where I let them run over me, push me over and never stand up for myself. in the three months I've been with my fiancĆ©, he has been the first to tell me, that i complain and get angry and like to feel sorry for myself. That I don't do anything to change it. He said I can be great and guidance for others but I am a hypocrite when it comes to myself because i can't take my own advice and boy did that open my eyes... I love that man. Can anyone relate to this or is it just me? I just want to live my life in silence from them honestly. At least for a little while until they get the point.Ā
āThere is people that inspire us, challenge us and make us be betterā and sometimes that doesn't mean it is your family will be the ones to be these people for you. Sometimes you just have to love them at a distance and continue to live the life you choose to live.Ā