ADDICTED TO STRESS

face | cosplay | music | drums | japan semester

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

What a world.

[incendavery]

case in point

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

This was sitting at the top of one of my old side-blogs and I couldn’t help but post it again.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

8-4-2022

Damn, I’m deeply embarrassed by what I’ve written on this account, but I don’t really want to delete any of it. I was in an awful, downright pitiful place, something I can only jokingly describe to others in the present day as “being absolutely insane,” “clinically obsessive,” and “blatantly toxic.” I hate who I was back then, though what I was feeling was very real. 

That said, I actually think I’m going to hop back on to this dusty ol’ platform- start writing again. I miss it.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

I hope all of this has made you happy. I hope that you’re proud.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

This account has been dark and dead for a while, mostly because I’ve been posting back on a different but the same addictedtostress.tumblr.com. I’ve been using it along with a couple other blogs I’ve archived to work through my feelings over the last year and a half.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

Sometimes you’ll lose someone you love. Sometimes they’ll want nothing to do with you, no matter how you’ve changed. Sometimes you can’t get them back. And that’s simply a fact of life. Sometimes you’ll lose people.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

Bye bye for now

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

I don’t deserve to live.

[anxietyproblem]

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

I need to remember what I said.

At least another six months of this? No sweat. “I’ll cry like a boss. I’ll cry every tear, weather every painful moment, progress through every breakdown.” Courage. Perseverance.

It’s going to be OK. It’s going to be OK. It’s going to be OK. I need to believe that.

[humoristics]

How to spot a dragon using an illusion spell

credit

[regularlesbian]

shes just a dense, thick bitch

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

I think the goal is to get to a point where if I were to randomly see her out in public, I wouldn’t instantaneously burst in to tears.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

It’s going to be OK. It’s OK to feel this way. It doesn’t matter what she thinks anymore. It doesn’t matter. There are no other options. Stay the course. She’s gone and it’s going to be OK. Keep going. Don’t be afraid of the blood or the blood to come. You’ll move on like her, too. Don’t dwell on your mistakes or your wishes to fix them. Let go of that stubborn hope you have that she’ll take you back. Breathe. Live. Don’t worry about those dreams. You’re doing great. It’s going to be OK.

[snorlax-and-co]

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

I cried myself to sleep again but then woke up at 4:20am, so that’s kinda dank.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

Hopefully one of these days a merciful angel finally opens their car door as I’m biking by so I can finally snap my god damn neck.

[4dd1ct3dt0str355]

She was so convinced (and probably still is) that everything was just to help myself... and holy shit it still hurts so much.