These nights are getting longer with all of this running through my head. I turn and being to stroke her porcelain skin, running my finger along her bare side. My mind still reels with the past night’s event and odd occurrences. I reach for my comforter wrapping it tightly around me as I approach my window. The rain is howling outside as the storm rages on and I’m here in comfort of my one true love’s embrace. Why aren’t I leaping with joy or basking in the glory? The most beautiful woman I’ve ever known lay beside me in my arms sleeping peacefully. My mind wonders back to last night as a single tear trails down my cheek….
I wake to a loud ring beside my head. I shake myself awake and reach for my cell, Just whom could be calling at this hour? “Hello?”
“Hi…” the line goes silent for several moments then the small hoarse voice speaks once more, “I had a dream about you, I miss you.” My head tilts in confusion, who would do this at this hour? It suddenly hits me as a small smile creeps upon my face, the thought of my sweet baby blue sleeping soundly as she dreams.
“I missed you too…” My words quiver as the fall from my lips. My mouth begins to go dry and lips become chapped as bitter cold tears stream down my cheeks. Just as I’ve begun to forget she was there lingering in my heart and head she returns once more, right front and center. Can I handle this once more? The idea of watching her with this odd character I’ve seen plastered across her social media makes my heart squeeze tightly and slow in pace. It’s slowly killing me, slowly making me change whom I am. I’m not sure I can just be that friend, the one she knows she can rely on no matter the situation. Not after all this time.
“Melly?” her velvet tone rings in my ears bringing me back to reality. “Did you hear what I asked?” she almost seems hurt.
“Yes, Yes I did. Of course you can come over. Is something bothering you Baby Blue?” I swallow the lump in my throat and think of all possible scenarios that could occur all ending in a heart break nonetheless. I can almost feel my heart leap from my chest with the weight of what I’ve just agreed to. It was too late to turn back now; she had already hung up without my knowledge.
I collapse onto my couch and close my eyes in a very poor attempt to rationalize what could possess her to want to see me after six months of no contact what so ever. Within minutes there is a knock on my door. I take a deep breath just to have swept from my lungs at the bittersweet site before me. Her hair is a mess, her clothes are disheveled and her make up is smeared. I can’t control my actions even in my own state of despair. I gather her in my arms and rock us gently. No words ever needed to be traded between us when one or the other was upset. It just came natural to us to comfort as the other wished. I take her hand in my own and lead her to the bathroom. I’m afraid to speak for I may given in to my own desperate needs but I do just to soothe her shuddering frame.
“It will be alright, Let’s get you cleaned up huh?” my head tilts slightly with curious and concerned eyes searching her for any signs of physical distress. My body goes ridged at the site before me. Behind the make up lay two black eyes and a busted lip. My thoughts begin to swarm my mind, hatred filling every crevasse of me. Who could lay a hand on my beauty? Who would be as bold to do such a thing to such a woman that wouldn’t harm a fly unless absolutely necessary? I see her start to cower at my change in demeanor. I sigh once more and go to my shower running the water for a bath. “Will you need help?” My tone barely audible above the water flow, she just nods in return. I step closer and hold out my hand. “We’ll start with your shoes.” I motion for her to sit on the toilet seat since it’s better then trying to stand and remove her sneakers. I let a chuckle out under my breath when I see what shoes they are. “Couldn’t get rid of them, could you?” I look up at her and smile lightly as I untie them and gently attempt to shake them loose from her feet. The “Daryl Dixon” on opposite sides is barely visible and smudged but still readable. Some old habits never die I presume. I nod my head up motioning for her to stand. “I’ll help with your jacket, do you want me to leave so you can fully undress?” the fear that arises in her eyes at my words makes it so much harder not to just hold her until the pain subsides for her. “Beautiful I’ll just be right outside the door, but only if you want me to leave.” I have seen her nude multiple times but manners always overshadow my own urges and wants. She winces as she speaks.
“No, please stay, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get everything by myself.” The pleading look she shoots my way catches me off guard. She never was one to ask for help let alone admitting she couldn’t do something on her own. I nod and pull the jacket off her shoulders and down her arms careful to watch my placement for potential bruises and cuts even. I want to look away as the tears begin to fall from her eyes but I can’t. I have to make this better; never will I allow her to be in this shape once more. She doesn’t deserve this sort of treatment, she deserves to be happy and deserves to with someone who will treat her as though she were his or her world. Tossing her coat to the side, I stare at the bruised and defeated young woman before me. So much comes to the front of my mind as all the pieces begin to latch into place.
“How long…. I’m so oblivious. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice before.” Turning away momentarily tears begin to escape my own eyes. Slowing lifting my gaze to hers I gingerly place a hand to her cheek. Her skin cold and damp from sweat possibly. “Why didn’t I realize this before?” I shake my head and begin to mentally scold and ridicule myself. Her hand lands on my own and leans into my touch.
“I hid it well, Fake smiles go far I guess.” Her bitter laugh shows her own anger. I reach out grazing the slender arms that are now nothing more then black and blue. One cut perfectly outstanding the other flesh on her pale figure. I trace it knowing it was much older then the bruises. “You couldn’t do anything, we were young and there was nothing more we could do beyond tell a legal adult that would just brush it off.” She must have been observing where my eyes had landed. She spoke of how the scar got there long ago and it begins to ring out in my ears. I smile lightly mesmerized just by her touch. My hand cups her cheek once more as my lips land tenderly on her forehead.
“Stay the night, that way you can get some rest and we can talk tomorrow?” the concern most evident in my voice now that the knowledge of what has occurred is at the forefront of my mind. She just nods again to respond, almost afraid to disobey. I look down and back up trying to hide the disappointment. “No is a more then acceptable answer. I understand if being here is awkward and weird for you.” She shakes her head furiously and hugs me close whining lightly a each movement. I pull her back ever so slightly and place a small kiss on her lips. She doesn’t move, doesn’t react just stands there blinking unsure. “I’m sorry!” I back up shaking my head and frantically back tracking my present actions. “I just I can’t stand seeing you in such a state. I can’t even stand seeing you frown let alone half dead with no color to you what so ever. You mean so much to me and this just kills..” Her lips cut the last of my speech
“Melody, calm down it is quite alright. I just didn’t expect that. I know you care I care for you too. No actually I love you. I always have, it’s just taken this separation for me to see I need you in my life.” Her lips quiver and the waterfall streams across her face. Stunned I’m still as a tree. Is this just my imagination going wild? There’s no way this is happening now of all times. I look down at my engagement ring and back at her. Realization crosses her face and I hang my head. “I’ll it’s obvious I shouldn’t have come.” She tries to move past me but I stand tall and block her way. I look at the ring once more and place it on the counter.
“Let’s just get you a bath and we’ll talk.” I move to lift her shirt and cringe myself at the purple discoloration all along her ribs. “Arms up if you can please?” I whisper lowly careful not to startle the beauty before me. To my shock she has no bra and even her bare breasts are discolored. My stomach churns at the potential variations of the cause. Tugging at the belt loops of her jeans as the worst part, it’s as though no part of her perfect skin had gone unscathed. I pick her up bridal style as cautiously as I can and lower her into the soapy water. Handing her a washcloth, she looks at it blankly and it hits me. The pain is so unbearable that she can barely do anything herself. “Am I allowed to help?” She just shrugs. “I won’t unless it’s okay.” Her huff tells me all that is necessary.
Arms wrapping around my waist break my train of thought. “Good morning beautiful” her hoarse rasp of a morning voice carries me back to reality. I try to conceal my concern and turn in her arms.
“Good morning Miss Sue, did you get some genuine rest?” I smile grimly trying my best to be strong for her sake. I knew better but it was worth attempting. She caresses my cheek and worry forms in her whole being.
“Melly, what’s wrong?” Her bright blue eyes shining bright in the dawn’s light. I look away unable to continue my stance with her looking at me like that. She pulls me closer and directs my eyes back to her immediately. “Please tell me, is it me? Do I need to leave?” I shake my head furiously and gather her face in my hands. I need the reassurance, I can’t continue like this without her invested fully in us. I search those ocean blues for some doubt; some fear that this isn’t what she really wants. When none is to be found I kiss her deeply burying my hands in her hair. Her body presses flush against my own enlisting a whimper from me. I pull away momentarily unsure if this shall continue…. My mind wanders back once more.
I gather the washcloth in one hand and begin washing the curves I’ve craved so deeply. Between body parts I have to look away gathering my own wild emotions swapping from anger to awe. All the different colors forming on her skin sickens me but the woman before me has never seemed more intriguing. She cringes lightly when I lightly brush her neck. My jaw clenches, and releases as I challenge myself to continue looking at this pained and weak version of the girl who once stood before her father facing the inevitable beating ahead due to her mother’s cowardice. How could it come to this? I keep telling myself if I knew I could’ve done more. How could I not know? Her clearing her throat shocks me into the gruesome scene before me.
“Stop. It is only my fault, and my fault alone,” Her voice almost inaudible as she strains her throat. My head hands in some form of remorse. She tries to reach for my hand but her injuries are too extensive. I look up in fear of her doing m ore harm then good.
“Don’t harm yourself, I’m still dazed by how long this could have gone on. How long was I this oblivious to the girl I hold so close to my heart” I return to washing her body and rinsing the blood from wounds I didn’t know were possible. As she winces in pain I lose myself in my own world of lust. The idea of caressing and touching her tender skin, feeling her body beneath my own; Once more I shake my head clear. I reach to lift her out of the tub, knowing I’ve gotten myself into a horrible situation. “Can you stand so I can dry you off?” I swallow hard; this is a bitter test of my own self-control. All I want to do is reach out and stroke her, making her wounds disappear with my touch. She just nods in response eyeing me suspiciously. This can’t be the time or place to be fantasizing about her body. I sigh and wrap her in one of my plush towels hoping for my own sake that I can contain myself just for tonight the ache grows as my mind runs wild once more. Closing my eyes and reopening them looking into her baby blues pulls me into the trance I’ve always had with her.
“Melody,” She reaches for my cheek shivering slightly as her poor effort to hold her towel fails and it falls. She blushes deeply and covers herself. I chuckle lightly and place my hands on hers.
“Yes my Queen?” I smile slightly and remove her hands. Her face is bright red as the cold gets the better of her body. Her full breasts glimmering with water or sweat, unsure which it is I reach for her sides, My fingers tracing the outline of the bruises decorating her chiseled stomach.
“Am I that ugly that you can’t look at me for a long period?” my heart sinks at her question. A tear slides down her cheek, as I am quick to swipe it away. I sweep her off her feet, forgetting that she is bare. I place her on my bed and I lay beside her ignoring all my body’s instincts.
“Do you want my honest answer?” I cock my eyebrow at her and look dead into the eyes that entice me daily. Her fidgeting shows she’s unsure of how to answer. “Not once in my life have a met such a goddess of a human like you. I look away to prevent myself from touching you and starting something else entirely.” She begins to shiver as I speak and gather in my arms while continuing my story. She relaxes into my being and rests her head on my shoulder. I grab the blanket laying beside my bed and drape it over her body. “When we met your looks weren’t you, they were who you were trying to be. The girl everyone else wanted to see. All the make up and the extensions were just you trying to please everyone else. I knew that from the beginning but I loved you even then. I knew you did everything for someone else. You lived for others. Still to this day you do but you’ve learned to try to find happiness…” my voice trails off at the thought of who she has been with for almost three years now. Taking a deep breath as I continue “Gave yourself to who you thought loved you unconditionally then got addicted to the feeling of being useful in that sense.” I twitch slightly realizing just how useless she feels on a daily basis. “Using your body for all the things you thought you couldn’t achieve otherwise. Not giving anyone the opportunity to judge you based on anything more because you assumed. You assumed they would judge you for the life you’ve lived not who you are and the beauty that lay beneath your vibrant eyes, full breasts and luscious curves. You wouldn’t let anyone in. It was too late though, someone has already settled in your heart. Already seen the frightened and lost girl beneath.” Tears spring to her eyes as I finish my speech. She clings to me and I just wrap my arms tightly around her all my defenses to try my best to hide what I want gone in a split second. I lift her chin looking deeply into the eyes of the one girl I long for. Finally the fear has disappeared in all ways. I no longer am thinking. I lean in and kiss her with all the energy and strength I have. Sliding my hand up her neck to cup it and deepen the kiss. I pull back momentarily still unsure but it’s quickly ended as she pulls me back into a heated embrace. Nipping at her lower lip I enlist a small whimper, which falls from her lips. This just heats me to the core as I flip her onto her back and begin kissing along her jaw line with my hands exploring her silky skin. Fingers tracing every inch, I hesitate when my hands begin to caress the breasts I’ve dreamt of since my freshman year of high school. I glance at her to see the look of pure lust, love and bliss whirling in her eyes. Only smirking I begin massaging as my mouth begins to venture lower and lower leaving no inch of her untouched. Leaving no curve unloved. My mind reeling, the only thing keeping me from my heart from leaping out of my chest is my primal instincts to please. I stop in the valley of her chest and lick a trail to one nipple sucking and nibbling lightly on the bud, Pinching on the other. My hand absent of anything to do slowly drags down her naval and onto her thigh. Digging my nails in, she gasps in anticipation, I trace with my index around her aroused sex. She groans and breathes out heavily. She clutches my back digging deep into my flesh racking her nails down. I moan and stiffen altogether temporarily paralyzed by her touch. She takes this opportunity to flip me onto my back a glimpse of excitement seeps through both of us as we realize just what we are doing. She smiles brightly at me for the first time since she arrived and whispers hoarsely
“You are so beautiful.” Within minutes that smile fades into what almost seems like pure concentration and focus.
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