Dad Joke Dispenser

(( Mr. Felix “Monty” Montgomery ;; 39 ;; Health Teacher ;; FC: Matthew Gray Gubler ;; Bully: Canis Canem Edit OC ))

[maddmaths]

In case anyone’s been wondering where I’ve been. Speeches at other campuses along the coast gets a bit tiring!

[4urhellth]

The professionalism! You look like a real bonafide expert up there, buddy!

What have you been giving speeches on?

[cookingpvpa]

@4urhellth is a great conversationalist

I adore talking to him

[4urhellth]

Reggie! You know my only weakness is compliments from darling men like yourself!

If you aren’t careful you might just make me swoon.

[cookingpvpa]

That might just be my goal, Monty!

[4urhellth]

You’re hilarious!

[cookingpvpa]

@4urhellth is a great conversationalist

I adore talking to him

[4urhellth]

Reggie! You know my only weakness is compliments from darling men like yourself!

If you aren’t careful you might just make me swoon.

[cookingpvpa]

Well while Detective Williams over there is distracted

@4urhellth

Would you like to go to dinner some time?

[4urhellth]

Oh-! Me?

I would be delighted!

[4urhellth]

Rate my fit!

[maddmaths]

Very, uh... Spiffy.

[4urhellth]

We’re learning about potassium today, so I thought I’d pull out all the stops to make it extra special!

[4urhellth]

Rate my fit!

[cookingpvpa]

Long overdue

Hello, everyone, I'll be your new home economics teacher.

[4urhellth]

Salutations!

The name’s Felix Montgomery, but everyone calls me Monty, otherwise known as the funniest guy you’ll ever meet. I teach health round these parts.

[cookingpvpa]

Well hello there.

Name's Reginald, but most call me Reg or Reggie!

[4urhellth]

Well, Reggie, looks like we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other these next few months.

Maybe we can even team up to drive home the point of healthy eating! I’ve been trying my darndest, but these kids are like little brick walla.

[cookingpvpa]

Long overdue

Hello, everyone, I'll be your new home economics teacher.

[4urhellth]

Salutations!

The name’s Felix Montgomery, but everyone calls me Monty, otherwise known as the funniest guy you’ll ever meet. I teach health round these parts.

[gravityswake]

Those kids are going to break something or give someone brain damage...

[4urhellth]

I’ve been trying desperately to educate them on health and safety but nothing sticks! Not even my hilarious jokes!

[gravityswake]

So this place is just turning into a zoo now? That’s cool, I guess.

[4urhellth]

You know, usually I would advocate for students in the case of therapy animals but this... this is too much.

[gravityswake]

Did you see young master Harrington’s peacock? Where in the world would you even get one of those things?!

[4urhellth]

It’s interesting, to say the least. Is it... you know... legal? To keep one of those critters as a pet?

[gravityswake]

So this place is just turning into a zoo now? That’s cool, I guess.

[4urhellth]

You know, usually I would advocate for students in the case of therapy animals but this... this is too much.

[harponit]

I diagnosed my friend in like 5 mins after she told me her symptoms while waiting at the hospital like ugh where’s my degree

[4urhellth]

While I would never discourage anyone from pursuing their interest in the field of medicine, I think the qualifications needed for a medical degree are a bit higher than knowing how to read WebMD. Don’t let little old me get in the way of your dreams, though!

[spinecrusher]

Ugh

I’m exhausted

[4urhellth]

Hi, Exhausted. I’m Monty!

[spinecrusher]

I’d say you sound like my dad, but I don’t have one

[4urhellth]

You don’t? Well, from this point forward consider me your honorary dad.

I’m proud of you, kiddo. Wanna go play toss in the yard?

[spinecrusher]

I’m only like 10 years younger than you and I could easily break your neck.

…

Yes please.

[4urhellth]

Dadliness is not confined by the boundaries of age and physicality!

[spinecrusher]

Ugh

I’m exhausted

[4urhellth]

Hi, Exhausted. I’m Monty!

[spinecrusher]

I’d say you sound like my dad, but I don’t have one

[4urhellth]

You don’t? Well, from this point forward consider me your honorary dad.

I’m proud of you, kiddo. Wanna go play toss in the yard?

[spinecrusher]

Ugh

I’m exhausted

[4urhellth]

Hi, Exhausted. I’m Monty!

[4urhellth]

Good afternoon Bullworth!

My name is Mr. Monty and teaching you kids all about health is my game. Which is a funky way of saying that I’ve been brought on to teach the Academy’s new health courses.

I graduated from Bullworth Academy just over two decades ago and let me say it is a real treat to be back on campus after all this time! I look forward to getting to know you all in these coming weeks, I know we’re starting a little late in the year, but it’s never a bad time to learn about health!

[gongetbackhanded]

Good. I had a feeling this school would rather avoid a lawsuit.

I’m the resident lawyer. Welcome back.

[4urhellth]

So you’re the one who pushed to revive the health program? Gotta thank you for that, I would still be stuck working for scraps as a substitute if it weren’t for you!

[4urhellth]

Good afternoon Bullworth!

My name is Mr. Monty and teaching you kids all about health is my game. Which is a funky way of saying that I’ve been brought on to teach the Academy’s new health courses.

I graduated from Bullworth Academy just over two decades ago and let me say it is a real treat to be back on campus after all this time! I look forward to getting to know you all in these coming weeks, I know we’re starting a little late in the year, but it’s never a bad time to learn about health!

[sweatbandqueen]

It’s so good to meet you! :) I’m glad someone will finally be teaching Health again. It totally shocked me when they cut the classes completely.

[4urhellth]

Guess they just assumed the kiddos would be using Google as their health teacher these days!

You’re one of the gym coaches, right? I think I met your husband while I was taking a gander at the campus.