in retrospection of pride month.
i never openly disclosed my sexuality unless someone explicitly asked, because i felt it’s not really anybody’s business. but lately i think i reached that stage in life where i simply do not care anymore about what others think or find out about me (including family members, acquaintances, and coworkers), so i started talking about my bisexuality more openly. from being called a ‘dyke’ in the high school p.e. locker rooms to my coworkers wondering if i’m dating the girl who always ate lunch with me, i’ve reached a point of ‘don’t give a fuck’ that feels liberating. this is privilege too, because it also means i still feel safe enough in my surroundings to not try to mitigate the situation anymore. if you wanna know so bad, i’ll let you know who i am in exchange for your help to normalize queerness, non-heteronormativity, and (most importantly) intersectionality.
personally, pride month never really meant anything to me other than corporations branding rainbows onto products and pretending to care about us (some brands genuinely do care and make an effort to show it, but it doesn’t change the fact that they are monetizing and capitalizing on our movement). but after years of being cynical and silent, or maybe it’s just the fact that i’m running on 2 hours of sleep(?), i wanted to write about what’s been on my mind this month.
coming out to my mom was terrifying, but it’s the most important thing i’ve done in order to build a bond with my mom. during one of the hardest times in my life (re: college) i brought up the subject of my sexuality without any preparation. it could have gone any way, but i blurted out that i was bi while holding onto the belief that at the very least, she wouldn’t kill me for it. fortunately, it went much better than expected and since then, my bond with my mom has grown only stronger. she’s my best friend, a huge moral support, and one of the few people i would trust with my life.
i’ve also learned since then that many queer folks are not as privileged as i am, including some of my own friends. and this is why i will consciously make the choice to invite conversations about my bisexuality with people offline as long as i feel my family’s and my own safety isn’t compromised.
being unable to have these conversations, having to live with the anxiety of abandonment, and constantly gambling with your own safety is so tough. i hope that the queer youths (and anyone else struggling to feel comfortable in their own skin) will see better representation in media and are able to welcome more people in their lives who will embrace them for who they are. i hope they will find the support system they need and find self-love and happiness. and i hope that each conversation i have with others about gender, sexuality, and intersectionality will all trickle down to helping another lovely person reach that same level of comfort... or ‘don’t give a fuck’.
stormborns
ellievsbear
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
baratheonpilled
titsay
vaporwave
2087
andulkaphoto
