Growing up, I was often constipated and given weekly enemas for over a year when I was in 6th grade. The first time they did it I couldn’t believe what was happening, I almost died from embarrassment. I felt paralyzed as they told me to get naked and they filled the bag with hot soapy water. They hung the bag, put the hose into my butt and started the water. I struggled as they injected the hot soapy water into my butt and my stomach got bigger and bigger.
Once the bag finally was flat and empty my stomach was gurgling and I thought I would explode. The nurse told me I had to hold it for 15 minutes. I lay there squirming and felt the water go deeper inside me. When time was finally up I had to walk down a small hallway by the waiting room, people saw me go past covered in a medical gown. I wondered if they knew what had just happened to me, that I had been humiliated and was full of soapy water. Once in the bathroom I felt nervous, I was afraid to let it out, I didn’t want the people I saw to hear me and know my embarassing situation. But after I sat awhile I finally lost control, the water inside me exploded in a rush. Stream after stream evacuated my body, punctuated with loud, plopping and rock like sounds. I was so full of dried up poop. It felt like it took forever but after a half hour I felt a tremendous relief, as though my whole body was drained.
I felt so embarrassed and wondered what the people in the waiting room thought, so I waited a bit before I came out. When I finally did there was a girl about my age with her mother. The girl was smirking and looked like she wanted to laugh. I wonder what she thought….if she had enemas before and knew what it felt like? I felt sooo embarassed.
Later, I gradually accepted and even wanted the enemas. I started to look forward to the Friday ritual of having an enema after school, of going to the doctor, of them filling the bag, then filling me, and finally feeling empty and clean. After I had more of them, over time, I started to have other feelings as well.
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