F33D Y0UR 8100D1U57

18+ | My secret Tumblr blog because nobody really uses Tumblr anymore. Vocahorror producer. Aspiring VN dev. Eroguro enjoyer. Incest, cosca, and rape victim so if you're fetishize that shit GTFO. Profic/Anti DNI I hate both of you equally. YouTube: https://youtube.com/@b100dlu57-p?si=S2aJH8U7gQgGm_u_

[8100d1u57]

Poverty induced eating disorders be like "I don't have body dysmorphia and this isn't something I would choose for myself but I can bear this struggle as long as I'm losing weight and potentially not be 200+ pounds."

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she's so fucking nasty i love her T_T

[8100d1u57]

Honestly, I could not be happier about the general audiences reaction to Chainsmoker Cat. The first episode filtered out all of the people who fetishize mental illnesses and girlfails so all that remains are the real girlfails and people who take the subject matter seriously. Like yeah, it's a gag anime, but it's a gag anime that doesn't pull its punches in portraying the constant cycle of poverty, mental illness, and addiction.

Yaniko is basically girlfail Jesus, going through the lowest of the lows to snap us out of it and get us to try and clean our damn rooms for once. It doesn't even really romanticize smoking at all. I've seen posts from ex-smokers who watched it and literally said "this is the first time i've seen a portrayal of smoking that didn't tempt me to relapse." It's gross, it's nasty, it's heartbreaking, but it's also the first time I can think of seeing depression being portrayed so true to life in many ways.

I am not immune to awful coping mechanisms. I rely on my addictions as a small pleasure in a crushing world. I picked up vaping low-key as a way to cope with my abusive relationship. Admittedly though, my doordash addiction is the one that really makes me relate to Yaniko. The way I'd starve myself one day and then binge eat a whole pizza the next just to make my money stretch out longer because I was so depressed I couldn't bother to make food. The way I'd tell myself, "Okay, I'm going to go to the grocery store and buy things to eat," before something ends up getting in the way so I'd doordash food and all my money would disappear immediately. Fuck, the constant trash from those orders littering my room because I was too depressed and overwhelmed to clean. I'd even overdraw my accounts to order food, which put me even further in the hole. Like I can't help but be like "holy shit, this is me."

Just kinda sucks because like... I'm kinda a NEET until school's back in session because it's basically impossible to even get a call back from anything I've applied for. I want to get better so bad and clean my room and use this time productively. I even kinda want to quit vaping, but at the same time I kinda have to buckle down and weather my low energy from spacing out what little food I can get from the food pantry. Thank god for FFXIV or I think I'd actively be suicidal right now lol. Struggling with nicotine withdrawal on top of being lucky to eat over 1k cal a day is just not an option at the moment, which is kind of why I relate to Yaniko so much. It's like "Okay when I'm financially stable, I'll quit," or "I should quit, but I do like it a lot and it's the one of the few pleasure I can get right now," or "They don't have vapes in Japan, so the inconvenience of cigarettes might actually help me quit when I study abroad. Why try now?" I'm kinda rambling but like... I really like how this cycle is portrayed. I really can't wait to see more of this anime, and lowkey I might read the manga too.

[8100d1u57]

FFXIV having a moment where they straight up make you carry your dead comrades bodies to the cart so they can be buried and take someone's bones back to their hometown may be one of the most evil bits of gameplay interaction I've ever experienced in a video game.

[8100d1u57]

The angst of your ex kinda ghosting you for months with no closure to your relationship due to them falling into a deep depression and then messaging you once they start getting out of that depression, reminding you of why you loved them in the first place but unable to get back with them because you know they still need to work on themselves.

[8100d1u57]

Oh my god I hate when in any instance of horror where a woman is violently murdered people say it's misogynistic. Like yeah some are but y'all are saying this about Sarah's death in Obsession? Yeah I think it I was Yandere Nikki I would brutally murder the woman who was trying to steal the love of my life from me and quickly dispatch minor inconveniences like Ian. Because Nikki in that context has her autonomy completely stripped away. She's doing what she thinks is necessary to keep Bear because he's her only reason for living in this state. It can easily be read as a depiction of how girls will horrifically tear down girls for the sake of men.

Also noticing how most of the posts I've seen pushing the "obsession isn't feminist but wokely" narrative are all men. Like did the movie make you uncomfortable? Good. That's the fucking point.

[8100d1u57]

How it feels to be a fan of the lolicore subgenre who's not a lolicon

[escuerzoresucitado]

[8100d1u57]

Epic games store fucking sucks. I bought Kingdom Hearts and FFVII Remake on there back when they were Epic Games exclusives and it was taking forever to reinstall FFVII. I just wanted to play a game and I saw I had KH still installed and it just needed an update. So imagine my fucking appalled face as I realized that to update KH I'd have to reinstall the entire game again AND cancel my install of FFVII which was a third of the way finished. Absolutely ridiculous.

[8100d1u57]

My favorite hobby is being unemployed all summer with no hopes of jobs or internships so I just bedrot and eat one meal a day until the semester starts and I can work again.

[8100d1u57]

On one hand, I believe in harm reduction for extreme cinema and researching a bit about a film to see if you can feasibly handle it, especially if you're new to the genre. On the other hand, it would be so fucking funny to see some clueless person who only knows about John Waters from Drag Race walk out of the Pink Flamingos screening I'm going to. It's always fun to see a walk out.

[8100d1u57]

John Waters my beloved

[8100d1u57]

Doing a flashcard deck that has all of the vocabulary and grammar for Fraternite and I'm learning I already know all the different Japanese words for penis. Thanks hentai!

[8100d1u57]

Brute forcing my way through Fraternite. I gotta finish my clockup hater arc. I kinda hope it subverts my expectations but the character writing and pacing in Euphoria and Maggot Baits left much to be desired for me personally.

[8100d1u57]

Watched a YouTuber (rightfully) criticizing Saya no Uta for Saya being lolibait in explicit scenes but in another video praise Sálo without even bringing up the teenagers in that movie were actual teenagers being told to re-enact sexual assault and degradation. I get that some people don't know, but one's stance on Sálo really does show how little actual standards you actually have imo. Like Saya's depictions of grooming and sexual assault are done through a fetishistic lens which is still very bad obvs, but at least it's not actual minors being directed by a pedophile. Ugh.

[8100d1u57]

Tfw ur victim first mindset may have upset your friend because u said you were undecided on the kikuo controversy because vocatwt isn't known for its nuance in regards to transgressive media and everything I had heard said it didn't paint csa in a positive light and so I'd need to read it to make my own opinion. Like idk victims can make mistakes in regards to portraying their experiences and non-victims have knee jerk reactions to even the mildest depiction of sexual assault. How am I supposed to know unless I read it for myself? Especially when Kikuos music handles the subjects well in my opinion. I'm not defending lolicon but this is the fandom that called Rabbit Hole a lolicon song how am I supposed to trust them?

[8100d1u57]

I'm so pissed off it's clearly vent art depicting cosca. Like there are things that visually cross the line imo but it's not nearly as graphic as a fetishized depiction would have been. It's very much vent art where he stumbled across the line. Y'all have no grace towards victims.

[8100d1u57]

Tfw ur victim first mindset may have upset your friend because u said you were undecided on the kikuo controversy because vocatwt isn't known for its nuance in regards to transgressive media and everything I had heard said it didn't paint csa in a positive light and so I'd need to read it to make my own opinion. Like idk victims can make mistakes in regards to portraying their experiences and non-victims have knee jerk reactions to even the mildest depiction of sexual assault. How am I supposed to know unless I read it for myself? Especially when Kikuos music handles the subjects well in my opinion. I'm not defending lolicon but this is the fandom that called Rabbit Hole a lolicon song how am I supposed to trust them?