Empty Box @8makes1newworld - Tumblr Blog

Fighting for my life with PMDD wow

#Trying to keep from getting depressed because when getting depressed I would probably break up with the boyfriend again #Yet I need to be depressed so I can stop gaining weight #I'm waiting for him to call it quits and pull the rug out from under me but as long as he can get money out of me he probably won't #I really do hope to not trust people again after this #If I would only learn

Back together again

#But even though I'm with him my heart still only recognizes the one lost in December #Yet I choose to accept I would never be with her even if the chance came up

And just like that I broke up with a man

#After hearing him talking about wanting to make my ass red and using a belt #After I had told him the previous day about my father beating me #After I confront him about it he said I was twisting his words I knew we weren't going to go anywhere so I breakup #If I were twisting his words now it's best to save him grief in the future #Im going to d!e alone anyway #Everyone else has their life ahead of them

All jokes of course

#But when he says he wants to punch my ass I find myself hoping that he will be the cause of my d3ath eventually one day #Thankfully woke me up from a peter pan themed dream last night I wish I didn't have to recall it at all #I'm counting on him to help me d!e

technically a relief

#that he's pulling back and living his life #because I probably am not his one forever #it would be better for him to not be close #when I do pass away #he can find the one that was always meant for him #the idea of the life he wants with me sounds nice #but the reality is that I can't imagine settling down with anyone ever #it's far too late for that #too many heartbreaks and the abuse has messed me up too much over the years

#Spotify

When he's possibly a little gay and I am not really straight I wonder if that qualifies for a lavender marriage

#This stuff is above my thought process #Being more experienced with women doesn't exactly go well for me in this situation #all I wanna do is get high by the beach

What is it about the thought of potentially moving in with someone one day I feel like after my parent d!es I'm going to kms... first I felt like I planned it while with my ex gf and now I'm already planning it again... if only that boy had used his common sense I was only looking for a friend to tallk to

#wow depression magically disappears in the early stages of relationships #I hate yet another individual who's a good person for the most part is pulled into this #I can't d!e until my responsibility is over #I didn't want anyone getting close to me again for when I do leave the world #Everything was fine as it was but fuck loneliness