99’

[990701]

feeling like I want to runaway but I have no where to run too

I feel trapped here like I have to force myself to act like everything’s okay but im not okay

All I want to do is lay in bed and watch the days go by, im so cold and far gone I can’t even cry

Waiting for the day when I can free myself again though things will never be the same

I need to do things for her and for myself Im perfectly aware of all the energy around me

It’s hard to carry the weight of things I try to let go that’s what im here for but some things I just don’t know how to release

I try to act like they don’t affect me none of it matters but in my heart i feel sad I feel cold I feel alone

I miss the flame that would warm me inside but it’s been out of sight for a while now

I need to be my own light it’s time for me to change I will be my own flame I will create my own light

I don’t want to let you go but I feel like it’s best for us both

You will keep on hurting me like I hurt you and it’s not fair

I knew this would happen I just didn’t want to listen I didn’t want to believe you would do anything to hurt me

But I’m sensitive and I feel things too deep

I see things in my dreams they don’t lie to me

I can’t ever fully sleep it’s like my mind just goes somewhere else and I start to see things people wouldn’t believe

It scares me sometimes it feels so real and sometimes it points me in the direction of truth

I should take more from these dreams than I do right now I should probably write them down

I feel like I’m going crazy but everyone’s crazy right ?

I just want to write forever spill my heart out because I honestly keep so much inside

People tell me to open up to them but my mind and body only do what feels right I can’t control it

I just want things to get better and I know they will in time, for now I’m just wondering how did I get here truly

I mean I know I lead myself here but I just made a few bad choices on the way

But if what they say is true everything happens for a reason

It will all lead me to where I belong with who I belong

I feel so much emotion in me at this time I just want to cry but my eyes remain dry.

I feel so heavy inside

[hue-d]

3am walks = inner peace

[f--o--r--e--v--e--r]

[forrestmankins]

[dreamondr3amer]

i hate when people ask “how are you” or “how are you doing” bc tbh I never know how to honestly answer that question without sounding extremely depressed, tbh the question just makes my head wonder in a million different directions cause I start to ask myself bc I don’t even really know how I’m doing, and I just think of all the things that could be better but I’m just hanging on and hoping that I survive, waiting to bloom... I’ve been stuck for a while but I want to move forward and letting go has always been the hardest thing for me, to truly let go is really all I need, to be free and let my spirit roam, they say it could all be so easy but this journey is far from such, I have miles to go before I can truly find my peace

I will get there soon enough

[990701]

You were my girl, you were my baby

You were my homemade mashed potatoes, biscuits and gravy

You were too good, I should have known

You were a prize my hands could never hold

[990701]

My heart truly hurts but I feel like I’ve turned cold

It hurts so much because I really don’t want to let you go and I don’t want things to be over

I never ever want to stop making memories with you because you just complete me

You make me happy even though I’m a bitch sometimes, my angst just gets the best of me

How things have been lately is not okay

I wish we had a real place to stay

Hopefully one day

But on this one I’m just trying to say

That I’m sorry for the way I am

I truly believe you deserve someone better

I want to work on me so I can be better

One day I know I can be

I’m waiting for a new opportunity

To be set free to finally leave

I want to see what the world has to free me

[990701]

It’s been a while but I feel like I need to post here again wow, crazy how much reflection is happening rn

[990701]

[990701]

I just wonder if I’ll ever be good enough for anyone.... or if I need anyone to be complete

Every time I feel like I can trust someone and I’m happy they show me that they aren’t happy

I’m sad

I don’t know what to do

I don’t want to speak cause speaking just makes things worse

I just want to drown my stress in endless amounts of weed smoke

I’m tired

I miss when I was in High school and I lived at home and I didn’t have much to worry about

I want to go back in time so bad

I will never stop being sad

One day I will drown in sadness

I wish there was someone to help me

I wish I could run away

I want to move to Colorado where the sun is always shining even when the sky is full of clouds

I just want to feel good enough

[990701]

sometimes i wish I could just be alone

away from everyone on my own island with no one around just animals and food and a shit ton of alcohol and pot and just myself

I wish I could just be free and happy but most day I feel like that will never happen

I feel like I’m trapped and there’s no way of me ever escaping or getting anywhere better

I just wish that someone out there actually saw or could understand the pain I feel everyday I’m just full of sadness and I don’t know how to ever make it go away

I mess everything up and I don’t know how to stop destructing everything around me I just want to be alone

[990701]

I’m so depressed why me why does everything have to happen this way

[990701]

!!!!!!! Fuck you !!!!!!!!!! ):

[990701]

It’s 1:23am and I’m sad as fuck

[990701]

Please dont let me go on like this):

[990701]

I just want you to want me too

[990701]

I fucking neeeeed you