worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves
we're not kids anymore.

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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
taylor price
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Today's Document
i don't do bad sauce passes
d e v o n
Cosmic Funnies
$LAYYYTER

★
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

Love Begins
One Nice Bug Per Day

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AnasAbdin

shark vs the universe

Product Placement
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Claire Keane
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@a-canceled-stamp
worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves
At the sex shop trying to remember the name of this device:
"Can I get a fuckenn uhhhh ... drilldo?"
Me in 2006: I’m still bitter about that
Me in 2016: I’m still salty about that
Me in 2026, probably: I’m still umami about that
Well, are you?. We’re waiting.
There’s a lot to be umami about these days.
book dedications are so tender here is this piece of art i made for an audience of thousands. but really every word is for you
@ fic authors what do you personally consider a successful fic? What’s the bar?
actually writing the fic down
"this is unbecoming of me" is genuinely a useful thing to have in your mental toolbox
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
she needs testosterone, stat!
Blanc and his Watsons 🔎💕
May we all know decadence such as this
i really love this genre of image
The best part of that video is that the owner found the ORIGINAL plush later on the beach and took another video with it after their grandmother stitched it back up
I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.
if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor
and yet
I love this because if I were to write a literary novel in the Western cannon that described the image of an apple with a chunk bitten off, any high school English student would tell you it is a Bible reference meant to represent the source of all evil and downfall of humanity and YET
Today I discovered that melting ice makes a sound— it cracks, pops, fizzes and hisses like demonic Rice Krispies. Apparently it has to do with pressurized air bubbles and fractures from expansion, but this leads to a question which National Geographic already answered for me:
Which is similarly heavy handed but also extremely freaking metal
Continually filling your mutual's dash with your blorbo like some sort of missionary trying to convert them
copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention
forbidden blue raspberry candy
Legit what would happen if I ate this. I’m sure it’s not that bad
I would survive this
copper ii sulfate has no reason to be this blue. this shade of blue looks like it should only be a digital invention
forbidden blue raspberry candy
Legit what would happen if I ate this. I’m sure it’s not that bad