I want to let you know, that I am not happy. I don’t think you know because you would’ve let me died the first time. and the times I’ve put myself in danger. I can’t do this. Nothing is right. I’m still a fat bitch. I’m at my highest weight. I’m still a dumb fuck. I just got my report card back and I keep dropping. I don’t know what effort is anymore. I’m trying to stay alive, but I can’t try to do well alive. I don’t know. I don’t even like my best friends anymore. They’re all so much better than I am. I’m so fucking useless compared to them. I can’t make my mom happy. All I do is spend money. I’m selfish and greedy. I have no importance in this world. Thee of my teachers hates me. Everybody just hates me. I don’t feel comfortable going to school. I don’t pray to you anymore because I realized that No One Cares about me. I learned to care for myself. And I’m failing. In fact, I just think this whole religion is one BIG PHONY. You were suppose to be there for me. But you left me for my best friends ever since they turned Christian last year. I’m sorry I can’t be better for you. I’ve known you since I was 6, It’s been 10 FUCKING YEARS and you Fucking left me alone for my friends who only knew you summer of last year. YOU FUCKING LEFT ME.OF ALL PEOPLE. So please, just let me go. I can’t do this. This is the last straw. I’m going to try ONE MORE TIME. After that, I’m taking my life into my own hands. I’ve had enough. I constantly have to watch my friends do well and I’m tired of being the one where people point and say, “At least I’ll do better in life than her.” And my best friends are mostly the reason why I don’t want to exist. They’re so fake.
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