Starting something that you never really finished is hard as hell. I have been trying to get on a healthy lifestyle for some time now, and I seem to keep falling behind. I get distracted or I get comfortable. To comfortable and I ruin all the hard work that I put in before. The first time around the inspired me to create this blog was the fact that I was borderline diabetic. I had just finished talking with my doctor where she informed me that if I didn't make a change in the way that I was eating than my chances of becoming a diabetic were great. I was at a point in my life where I didn't know what I wanted to do or become. Being in high school there was a huge pressure for me to be the best. I had to pull in good grades, while keeping in mind to what I wanted to do. At that time I did have an idea. I wanted to be an Actress, I wanted to act on tv. Being myself was so hard that I wanted to be someone else, even if it was only for a short while. I suppose thats why I worked so hard on it and got so good at it. But little did I know that this factor would harm me more than help me. In the beginning it was motivation enough for me to wake up and go for a run, and do online workouts because I could not afford a gym membership. I joined a sports team, and changed my diet completely. I tried to convince myself that I wanted to be healthy and part of it was true. I wanted to be able to go to the doctor and not fear the scale. I just wanted to go to one check up where everything would be okay and everything would turn out okay. So I cut out junk food, I went cold turkey which for me wasn't that hard. I wish now I could do that, but what can I say I love my cheese puffs. Moderation then was not something that I knew then. But I did reward myself. After I completed workout, I was allowed to watch 3 episodes of Gossip Girl, and yes I hopped on that train pretty late as well. But instead of using food I used something that wouldn't add calories to my day. I was loosing weight and I do believe it was In a healthy way, but despite the number on the scale going down, the confidence I had for myself was still very low. Ya girl was single as a Pringle and had the hardest time trying to mingle. Because I felt the boys at my school were not into me, I was more into the online dating vibe. But even here I had a hard time finding someone who was right for me. So I continued to be single and my poor confidence withered away along with the fat. This time in my life is so important to the describe the woman I am today, because I can look back and see that I was truly unhappy. Yes I was exercising and loosing weight but what for? When I started college I put the weight back on and then some. My heaviest weight I am ashamed to say was 215lbs. This may not sound like a lot to some people but it was my heaviest and I knew that I had to change. There in particular was one thing that really sparked my weight loss journey or I should say one person. He is my current boyfriend of 1 year and counting. We (hold on to your socks folks,) meet online! (Bet ya didn't see that coming) he was hot and that was the first thing that caught my attention. But you know when you see someone online that is super hot and they like you, you can only think that they want one thing (But he never asked for it). He thought I was beautiful and at the time I had gained some confidence, my hair had grown some, and my makeup game was stronger than ever, so yes I was somewhat feeling myself. It was when we carefully made arrangements to meet that I realized that I had to change. I wanted him to be able to pick me up and hold me in his arms and at the heaviest 215lbs I was NOT feeling myself. So I starting going to the gym everyday that I could make it, but at the time I was working at my colleges Starbucks and Girlllll what a challenge. I was just staying the same because I would drink 3-4 drinks a day and do a small little workout. That summer of which I spent half of babysitting my nephew I lost 10lbs. Everyday I took him to the pool and we swam for hours, and I would come home and eat a small dinner and be done. I had researched this thing called intermitted fasting, and I absolutely love it. I can't do it when I'm at school because I would starve, but I do love doing it at home, its a great way to keep track of what I eat and give myself a limit. So I stuck with that, my goal was to be somewhere in wonderland before I meet my boyfriend in person. so at the beginning of the school year I was 205lbs and I was feeling good. but I hit a pot hole where I got let go at Starbucks, which now that I look back at it was a blessing in disguise. since I didn't have to work, after classes I went to the YMCA on my campus and just starting working out. soon I got hired and I literally get paid to work out. from that day to this I have lost and additional 13lbs. I would like to be around 170-160 but I do understand that its about how you feel and not the way that you look. when I meet my boyfriend finally for Christmas, he was amazingly sweet and of course because he was ripped he was able to pick me up which was the most amazing feeling in the world to me. It may seem like I was loosing weight for him, but I know that it was for me. I want to be comfortable with myself, and I want a nice bod to match this fire ass personality that I have. Who knew that loving yourself would be the hardest and easiest thing to do. I am getting better at it everyday and surrounding myself with positive people and images in my life. This is just the backbone of my journey, the true fun has yet to begin!!
gracieabrams
blakekathryn
kianamaiart
baratheonpilled
amandla
